YWCA Fresh Start start 3:Layout 1 - YWCA Canada

FRESH START This person can take notes during meetings and court proceedings tohelp you remember later what went on. This can be very helpful,because you will be focused on what is happening and you may alsobe very emotional, which can mean you do not remember the detailslater.This person can act as an advocate for you, helping you ask questionsor tell your story if you find it too difficult to do so yourself. She canalso provide you with emotional support before and after difficultmeetings.If you have cultural, religious or social concerns about what youshould do, try to get counseling and support from someone of yourculture or faith who can support and advise you. Find someone whovalues your right to be free of abuse and who understands that yourphysical and emotional safety is very important.You can look for help from a women’s organization, such as your localYWCA or a women’s shelter. If you are looking for a different kind ofsupport, one of these organizations can help you find it.HOW DO I GET CUSTODY?Most women with children who leave an abusive partner want tomake sure the children will stay living with them.In Canada, both parents have an equal legal right to the custody oftheir children until they have signed an agreement or a court hasordered otherwise.If it is safe for you to do so, it is a good idea to meet with a lawyer tostart preparing the paperwork for a custody application before youleave your partner.However, this is often not possible. You may need to leave quickly inorder to keep yourself and/or your children safe. In this case, go to thefamily court in your community to get information about finding alawyer, applying for legal aid and starting a custody application assoon as you can once you and the children are in a safe place. If youare staying in a shelter, the workers will be able to assist you with this.Many women assume their partner will not want custody of thechildren because they did not have much to do with them during therelationship. However, abusive men often seek custody of theirchildren as a way to continue their control or to try to get their partnerto come back to them. You should be prepared for this possibility.59