1905-06 Volume 30 No 1–5 - Phi Delta Theta Scroll Archive

THE SCROLL. 457church, the Y. M. C. A. and associated charities going, and it is selfish aswell as unnecessary for you to insist on doing the whole thing. Take goodcare of your health, don't work the doctors too hard, and make the enclosedremittance go as far as possible.Yours affectionately, Pater.P. S. and N. B. Go easy on the et ceteras."Old man Graham had the idea when he wrote to his son Pierpont that hewanted to give hira a liberal education, but it was hot necessary to buy thetown.I know there is a great difference between being in and out of college. Iknow there is a marked difference in the literary style, composition and purposesof the letters written in and out of college. That has impressed itselfupon me.Of course in college we know it all. Out of college we have a goodmany things to learn, but in college there is nothing ultra vires, beyond thepowers. The universality of the equipment of the youth just out of collegeis illustrated by the following advertisement, which I clipped from a Sundaypaper last Sunday:"WANTED—Employment by graduate of Mariana college, class of '05.Would accept position as leading editorial writer on metropolitan paper.Could take charge of a publishing and printing plant as foreman. Can givevaluable advice to persons contemplating marriage, and has obtained a widereputation as a trance medium. Would accept an appointment as pastor ofa small evangelical church, or a substitute preacher. Has had experienceas a strike breaker, and would take work of this character west of the Missouririver. Would have no objection to teaching a small but select class ofyoung ladies in the higher branches, or giving them information as to thecause of the Trojan War. Can do odd jobs around a boarding house, orwould accept a position as assayist of a mining company. To a dentist orchiropodist his services would be invaluable. Can fill with satisfaction aposition as bass or tenor singer in a Methodist choir. Address, and so forth."I remember a time when I thought hades was not very far from Hanover.I remember one fellov there named White, who used to say he intended tocome liack to that classic village to die. He was not a good student andnever exhibited any fondness for the college or its work, and was generallyin trouble with the faculty, and this remark was sure to cause somebody toask "why?" And he would reply, because he could leave Hanover with lessregret than any other spot on earth.Well, he is dead now, poor fellow. I don't know whether he went toHanover to shuffle off or not, and I don't know whether he went upward orin the other direction. A witness the other day was asked where a certainparty was, and he said he didn't know. Somebody connected with the casespoke up and said "he's dead." "Oh well," said the witness, "if you knowhe is dead, I know where he is." I would not be as positive as the witnessas to where my friend is, but I do take a little malicious pleasure in leavingthe exact locality of his eternal resting place in doubt, for it was reported tome by a very kind friend, who no doubt wanted to be agreeable, that oncewhen someone was vigorously insisting upon White's assenting to the propositionthat Jim Osborn was the biggest fool in college, he only said,"You will have to excuse me; I am pledged to Garber." I have forgivenhim, but I think I felt then about as brother Miller, who presides so gracefully,felt when brother Bamberger congratulated him on his nomination forlieutenant-governor, and told him his speech of acceptance was the worst heever heard, and then tried to square himself by adding, *'But I never heardyou make a speech before, Miller."