More readers than the rest put together! 22 SEPTEMBER 2015 | <strong>TAXI</strong> 19 Taxi Talk PEOPLE ARE STRANGE ALF TOWNSEND Sometimes it feels like you are just wasting your breath, rising crime and boring education The linkman called me into that posh hotel in High Holborn that’s changed its name to the Rosewood to pick up two, very smart middle-aged American ladies. They had some seriously heavy luggage and when they asked for Paddington, I thought I’d try my luck and talk them into going to Heathrow. I explained that the single fare on the Heathrow Express was £22.50 per person and that it would be around £20 to Paddington by cab. I said that the grand total would be around £65 and I would take them all the way to Heathrow for the same price. But there came not a whisper from the back in reply; no “yes please,” and no “thanks, but no,” so I just continued on to Paddington. When we arrived in Paddington I got out to help with their luggage and the lady generously gave me almost a five pound tip. In a very friendly manner, I then asked the lady why they didn’t give me a yes or a no to my offer. She laughed and said, “I’m sorry honey, we didn’t know what the hell you were talking about!” ‘Living With the Luvvies!’ As one of the ever-diminishing band of “peasants” who has been living among the elite Hampstead “luvvies” for the past four decades, I’ve got no problems with having famous neighbours. I’ve ferried all the international stars back to their hotels from the BBC Television Centre in the 60s and 70s, including household names like Danny Kaye, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and Sammy Davis Jnr. It has never bother me in the slightest, and if I’m standing in a queue at my local bank behind Ricky Gervais – so what! Apparently, some of the A- Listers on my patch nowadays include the actor Benedict Cumberbatch, Harry Styles, a member of the boy band One Direction until their recent split, and not forgetting dear old 80s pop star, Boy George, who has had a place in East Heath Road since the 70s. There is also Thierry Henry, to my mind probably Arsenal’s best ever player, but unquestionably he’s a far better footballer than he is a pundit! The quiet little cul-de-sac where I live boasts some mega names in the world. On my right is the mansion of the Malaysian High Commissioner and to the left lives the brother of the fabulously rich Sultan of Brunei! But it appears that the peace has been shattered around the Frognal and Redington Road area by a group of vicious yobs on scooters who are threatening to use hammers on their victims to extract valuable watches and jewellery. In one shocking incident I have heard of, a nanny was just pushing her child to the front door when a man wielding a crowbar approached her from behind, demanded she hand over her expensive watch. This is not the first case in that manor either: in July two masked men snatched a woman’s rucksack in Redington Road after threatening her with a gun! It’s got to such a point that the wealthy residents are paying for security guards to patrol the area 24 hours a day. I think I’ll move to the East End – it’s safer! The re-education of Mr Townsend Further to my article in the last edition of <strong>TAXI</strong>, where I gave my personal opinion of a driver retraining course I had elected to go on, instead of getting three penalty points on my licence. The course I went on was incredibly boring and childlike, but feedback I have got from many other drivers who have attended one is that that some are quite interesting. Obviously, there are many different offences which carry penalty points, such as speeding, red light charges, and using mobile phones while at the wheel. Consequently, the content of the courses varies with each offence. Maybe I was unlucky or simply have a short attention span I don’t know. I got an ear bashing on the subject from one reader who accused me of “being hard to please.” Although, he softened a bit by the end when I gave him the full facts! But more importantly perhaps, some of the feedback I got from the same article was from the many cabbies who, like me, had been nicked by the camera operating at the junction of Finchley Road and Hillgrove Road heading north. Now, I don’t believe any professional driver would dream of blatantly jumping a red light – especially me, the old plodder! But with a camera it’s all about split seconds – literally. You go over on amber, but if the rear wheels of your vehicle haven’t cleared the stop line when the red light comes on, you’re well and truly nicked. You could argue that stopping suddenly at speed could cause an accident, but I suspect that would fall on deaf ears. The simple answer is: approach all traffic lights at a reasonable speed – that’s what I learnt on my boring course. n
20 <strong>TAXI</strong> |22 SEPTEMBER 2015 www.ltda.co.uk | @TheLTDA London Taxis it’s in our Blood Run by a Taxi driver for the Taxi trade. 0208 127 8419