A First Look at Communication Theory (6th edition)

Sample Application Log
Glinda
In discussing the ways in which couples deal with their various conflicting needs, Baxter
overlooked one that has come into play (dare I say) constantly in my romances. I will name it
inverse response cyclical alteration (Irca). Irca means that each partner switches from one pole
to the other, and their position is inversely correlated to the direction that the other is pulling at
that moment. This sounds like it would create unbearable tension, but actually has the effect
of balancing out both extremes. When I am being predictable, my boyfriend will do something
completely unexpected. Then, when I’m acting completely out of character, he will slow me
down with his desire for predictability. And when all I want is to be alone, his desire for
independence will save us from over-indulgent self-destruction. So I will likely respond with my
own surge of independence; but as I pull away, my boyfriend will suddenly seem to take every
opportunity for connection. The Irca seems to keep a relationship balanced, ever changing, yet
progressing at a slow and steady pace.
Exercises and Activities
Coping strategies
If you’d like the opportunity to test out the strategies with your students in more
concrete terms, consider something like the following scenario:
Shelley and Jim have been dating very seriously for about six months. From the
beginning of the relationship, Jim has known that Shelley has kept a private diary that
she has never shown anyone. At first, he wasn’t too interested in this activity, but as
they have drawn closer, he has become intrigued by her personal writings. Yet
whenever he asks if she would share her prose with him, she responds that she needs
a secret place to work out her thoughts and emotions. In conversation, she never holds
back from him, freely self-disclosing about herself and their relationship, but the diary
remains all her own, and Jim is perplexed, even disturbed by this. The more interest he
shows in her private writings, the more adamant about her privacy she becomes. What
should they do?
Media and literary portrayals of the dialectical tensions
An excellent example of dialectics, particularly connection-separation, occurred on
during the seventh season of Seinfeld in an episode entitled, “The Pool Guy” (#112). In it, the
tension between independent George and relationship George comes to light when, to his
horror, Elaine invites his fiancée Susan to an art exposition, creating his separate worlds “to
collide.” The segment works exceptionally well as many students are familiar with the
television show and can relate to George’s desire to keep his worlds apart. A lively discussion
usually ensues when students are asked if this technique for managing one’s tensions, a form
of segmentation, would “really work.”
For an interesting portrayal of the connectedness-separateness and certaintyuncertainty
dialectics, see Neil Simon’s Barefoot in the Park, which is available on video. To
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