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amount of time with you and, therefore, require short,<br />
quick answers. Know what you are looking for and<br />
prepare to ‘sell’ yourself. Market yourself in the best way<br />
possible so you will be appealing to the shadchan as well<br />
as to anyone to whom they introduce you. Be positive<br />
about yourself, emphasizing your mast admirable<br />
qualities, but be certain to represent yourself honestly.<br />
Again, it is important to follow up with the<br />
shadchan on a regular basis. If the shadchan is located in<br />
the same city as you, you should contact him/her once<br />
every other week to remind them that you are still<br />
available. If the shadchan is from a different city, you<br />
should contact him/her at least once a week so that they<br />
remember you. A shadchan from your own city will see<br />
you in your community and, therefore, remember you<br />
and speak to you. An out-of-town shadchan may forget<br />
about you among the many other single men and women<br />
with whom they are working.<br />
Ask the Shadchan if they mind that you are going<br />
to other shadchanim as well. Do they have anyone they<br />
work with? Is there a network you should be aware of?<br />
Is there a specific Shadchan that you would do really well<br />
with and has set up people like you?<br />
D. Be Open-Minded<br />
If you want to find a spouse, you need to be<br />
open-minded and willing to be flexible. This does not<br />
mean that you must compromise on certain points, such<br />
as whether you want to live in Israel, have the boy learn<br />
in a Kollel, etc. Rather, desiring someone who plays a<br />
musical instrument or has a certain hair color are not<br />
10
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