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VI.<br />

Getting Engaged<br />

A. Making a Budget<br />

It is imperative that you make a budget for<br />

marriage. You and your ‘spouse-to-be’ should discuss<br />

openly plans and goals for employment, school, learning,<br />

etc. This discussion should take place before<br />

engagement to ensure that you have common goals and<br />

are both willing to compromise on plans, if necessary, for<br />

example, delaying school and working to earn a living to<br />

support you and your spouse while he/she continues to<br />

pursue a degree. The majority of arguments among<br />

married people revolve around income and money.<br />

Avoid them by discussing the matter. For a copy of a<br />

sample budget please see Chapter VII.<br />

B. The Bracelet<br />

It is customary for some to first buy the girl a<br />

bracelet when you become engaged. The price for the<br />

bracelet may vary from $450 – $900. This is not a<br />

requirement, rather merely a custom. Others may<br />

present this gift in the yichud room. There is no pressure<br />

to follow either of these practices; this should be a joint<br />

decision between you and your bride-to-be.<br />

C. The Ring<br />

The engagement ring, on average, should cost<br />

approximately 2 and one-half months’ salary. This is just<br />

a guideline, and, of course, the boy should determine<br />

what he can afford to pay. This two and one-half months’<br />

salary rule only really applies to someone who has been<br />

working for some time, not to someone who recently just<br />

began employment. Nevertheless, a person may expect<br />

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