BeatRoute Magazine B.C. print e-edition - December 2016
BeatRoute Magazine is a monthly arts and entertainment paper with a predominant focus on music – local, independent or otherwise. The paper started in June 2004 and continues to provide a healthy dose of perversity while exercising rock ‘n’ roll ethics.
BeatRoute Magazine is a monthly arts and entertainment paper with a predominant focus on music – local, independent or otherwise. The paper started in June 2004 and continues to provide a healthy dose of perversity while exercising rock ‘n’ roll ethics.
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DIECEMBERFEST AND THEIR PETS<br />
the soft fuzzy side of the crusty scene<br />
ADRIANNA HEPPER<br />
Adrianna Hepper is cat-mum to E. Van’s<br />
wildest little rock n roller Yngwie Meowmsteen,<br />
and founder of PetFam.com . Sign up to safely<br />
connect with other loving, nearby pet parents<br />
for free pet sitting exchange!<br />
Patrons and participants of all music<br />
loud, heavy, aggressive, and sweaty:<br />
what, I pray thee, is our DEAL with<br />
dissolving into helpless, baby-talking<br />
babbling softies the second a cat comes<br />
into view? What compels us to swaddle<br />
a filthy stray in the warmth of our most<br />
beloved battle jacket without a second<br />
thought, or transition from smashing a<br />
drum kit to patting out a lengthy drumbum<br />
solo hilariously on our dogs’ butts?<br />
Many of us heavy music lovers also<br />
love to support pet rescues - could it be<br />
as musical underdogs we feel a particular<br />
affinity for the real… underdogs?<br />
Whatever the reason, oi! We<br />
bloody love our pets! And here to prove it<br />
are four local badass musicians confessing<br />
their love for their widdle furbabies.<br />
<br />
Cavan Egan<br />
Guitarist and Vocalist<br />
Bushwhacker<br />
Sage Davies<br />
Vocals/ Guitar<br />
The Waning Light<br />
Parker Lane<br />
Vocals<br />
The Mountain Man<br />
<br />
Drummer<br />
Bog<br />
1.What kind of pet do you have, and<br />
what is its name?<br />
1. Snoop Lion is a “felis catus,” otherwise<br />
known as a “domesticated cat.”<br />
1. My dog is a rat terrier named Princess<br />
Slaya.<br />
1. I have a big German shepherd named<br />
Loki.<br />
1. I have a 30 pound Maine Coon cat<br />
named Sunrise.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
4. What’s your most hilarious or<br />
<br />
<br />
a human, who are you pretty sure<br />
<br />
personality?<br />
To pinch the cheeks of these hopeless,<br />
pet-loving musicians in person, come<br />
down to Diecemberfest, Dec. 9 at the Russian<br />
Hall in Vancouver where they’ll all be<br />
playing. Bring a food item for pets (SPCA)<br />
or for humans (Food Bank) to be entered<br />
to win good stuff from local businesses!<br />
2. I once spent five hours wrapping a<br />
2×4” in twine to make him an adequate<br />
scratching post. Halfway through the<br />
process I had to grab a pair of gardening<br />
gloves to keep my hands from blistering.<br />
3. Following a recent minor operation,<br />
Snoop had to wear a cone and stay<br />
inside for ten days. He protested by<br />
pissing on my expensive MEC raincoat.<br />
4. Shikapoo, Shikapuss, and Mr. Meow<br />
(who wants his morning meats).<br />
Recently I’ve also started calling him<br />
Psycho Dink.<br />
5. Back in time, Snoop Lion would<br />
probably turn up as a Viking, Pirate, or<br />
maybe a Samurai. If it were a future<br />
reincarnation, probably a secret agent<br />
eager to hunt and kill his enemies, yet<br />
loyal and loving to his allies.<br />
2. I make little blanket forts for her. It just<br />
kills me to see her little head poking out.<br />
3. While camping last summer, Slaya<br />
unzipped the tent and bolted at<br />
4:00am. Having derided our white trash<br />
neighbours for having lost their six<br />
year old the previous evening, now we<br />
were the dickwads waking everyone up<br />
looking for the damned dog.<br />
4. Frequently I tell her that she’s “Dada’s<br />
number one girl.” Neither Mrs. Sage nor<br />
our daughter, Haida, are impressed.<br />
5. Slaya would be that neurotic stoner<br />
that’s worried about everything but<br />
can’t be arsed to even get off the couch.<br />
2. When I’m eating spaghetti, I like<br />
to share and hope for a Lady and the<br />
Tramp-type scene. It never ends up that<br />
way.<br />
3. If Loki isn’t monitored when he’s<br />
doing his business, he will eat said<br />
business. Once, after chomping down<br />
some delicious fecal matter, he ran up and<br />
licked my friend’s arms and white shirt.<br />
4. My girlfriend constantly calls him<br />
Tuna Lips because his breath always<br />
smells like sour fish (laughs).<br />
5. Do cartoon characters count? Because<br />
he’s totally got Yogi Bear’s demeanour,<br />
“Duhhhhhhhh.”<br />
2. I occasionally buy him expensive wet<br />
dog food, so that I can heckle him for<br />
eating the same food as a poodle or tiny<br />
Yaletown dog.<br />
3. I have literally watched Sunrise fight<br />
three cats simultaneously. He won, they<br />
backed away. He also bullied another cat<br />
of mine so bad that it peed all over the<br />
house from stress. He likes to dominate.<br />
4. “SUNBOY!” said in as high pitched a<br />
voice as possible.<br />
5. John Goodman in his fattest and<br />
most surely role.<br />
SHATTER. BUDDER. RESIN. OIL.<br />
Y’ALL KNOW HOW IT GETS.<br />
GET RID OF UNWANTED STICKY ICKY ORGANICALLY<br />
hARDWARE<br />
aCCESSORIES<br />
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eNAILS<br />
dAB tOOLS<br />
mEDICAL dISPENSARY<br />
WWW.CANNABISCRUSADERSEMPORIUM.COM/DABOFF<br />
Christmas Calorie Counting?<br />
ive got a secret if you pinky swear not to tell who told me.<br />
(Santa told me )Matcha Torches Body Fat(it was santa)<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong>December</strong> <strong>2016</strong>
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