BeatRoute Magazine B.C. print e-edition - December 2016

ZUCKUSS
the joke is on you
HEATH FENTON
Local grind busters Zuckuss have been
at it for nearly 20 years. They play
regular gigs thoughout Vancouver, but
space them out with enough months in
between for a hefty dose of headliner
excitement every time they pop up on
a bill. Zuckuss play what they like to call
Star Wars inspired pornogrind, and it
goes pretty much exactly like it sounds.
“Basically we take pornography, Star
Wars, and death metal grind, [and] fuse
them all together,” drummer Bossck
Jass explains. “Conceptually that exists
mostly in our artwork and song titles.
There are no lyrics. We use vocals
purely as a percussive instrument.”
With three records under their belt,
Titfucked By A Tauntaun (2000),
Rancor Rimjob (2004), and Gamorrean
Gangbang (2009), you can probably get
the jest. Let’s just say that the artwork
for each album is pretty much spot
on too. It may seem all tongue and
cheek, and it is. But make no mistake,
when it comes to the music, Zuckuss
are as serious as it gets. Jass, guitarists
Dungar and Boba Frett, bassist Lord
Blader, and vocalist Landin Morpussyin
spew out a spastic, chaotic, and brutal
brand of metal. Crazy, obscene, and
often bizarre samples are trampled
under sheer terror vocal sounds and
savage musical earthquakes. Their
lack of song structures makes it go off
like a symphony of car bombs. “We’ve
averaged it out that a song that is
typically under two minutes long may
contain anywhere from 25-30 different
riffs with blast beats upon blast beats.
Very chunky and heavy,” says Jass. “It
takes a lot of hard work to play and
learn this music.”
Are there any other metal bands
in this town that can lay claim to
being around for 20 years? If there are,
then I can’t think of any (Annihilator
doesn’t count). Zuckuss might just
be the oldest band you never heard of.
However, they are no slouches. They
have been around the greasy metal shop
like an old oil rag. They’ve shared the
stage with such high profile acts such as
Napalm Death, Cryptopsy, Suffocation,
Cattle Decapitation, and Kataklysm.
They are very well versed in the
underground and that is where they get
their respect from. “We kind of want to
be that band that no one knows about.
We’re not exactly making a product that
is very sellable,” Jass goes on. “Especially
with the blatant plagiarism of Star
Wars imagery. We don’t pay for any of
the samples we use. And we use a shit
tonne of them. No record label will ever
sign us. The risk would be high to take
us on. We have a very limited fan base.
So we really don’t fucking care.”
True to form, Zuckuss have an
agenda. They are presently in the
studio recording their 4th record and
plan to release it to coincide with their
20th anniversary on May the 4th. 2017
is also the 40th anniversary of Star
Wars. The fourth coming record Zuck
My Nock will be the latest installment
in Zuckuss’ plan of an end total of nine
albums in three trilogy structures that
replicate George Lucas’ Star Wars vision.
“We like to have fun. Most death
metal to me is ridiculous. They sing
about raping corpses and mutilating
people. And the guys doing it are so
serious about it. Zuckuss is poo poo
humour. We’re playing the most brutal,
heaviest, fastest, and most complicated
death metal possible. But we do it with
a shit eating grin on our face. There is
no blood and no violence. We don’t
promote racism or intolerance. We are
happy when we play our music. We’re
a bunch of jokers,” Jass proclaims. “But
we’re serious about the music. Make
the music brutal, but the imagery light
hearted.”
Seeing them live is like a harmless
prank that becomes serious business
right quick. So you best get in on it.
Zuckuss will be opening for the Golers
and Tyrants Blood on December 3rd at
Pat’s Pub.
ILLUSTRATION BY SYD DANGER
In physics, “dead time” is the time after each
event during which the system is unable
to record another event. I chose it as the
name of this column because I believe it
signifies the reality of how the underground
arts community operates, especially in this
day and age, and especially in a city like
Vancouver. The artists I’m referring to go
largely unnoticed by anyone outside of the
community they’re involved in, whether it
be through the grind of establishing oneself
by playing lowly attended shows, or through
the work of DIY spaces that are navigating
the ever tricky balancing act of legality and
legitimacy. The irony of having to hide to
exist, but being unable to sustain without
being seen, would be quite humourous if it
wasn’t so bitterly true.
Despite being the very fabric of the
so-called culture that “our” spokespeople
claim to champion (and use to decorate
their rhetoric with), the arts community
are among the ones who have slipped
beneath the cracks, toiling in that “dead
time” that isn’t being noted by anyone above
the surface. And when the occasional ray
of potential light appears in the form of
funding or the relaxation of unreasonable
rules, I’m naturally inclined to be skeptical
of whatever is presented. Take for example
the naive excitement that surrounded the
announcement of the $15 million BC Music
Fund earlier this year. Has anyone you or I
know seen any of that? Do you believe any
of us will? Are we not part of that group
that “develops culture” and “contributes to
the cultural fabric of our province”? I guess
not. We are the tier below. When they talked
about creating jobs were they talking about
enabling artists to work within their own
industry? Or were they talking about the
numerous bureaucratic channels one has to
pass through just to be told yes or no?
This isn’t surprising. Nor is it new. We
have relatively little systemic support, a
the irony of having to hide to exist
FROM THE DESK OF MITCH RAY
police force that at times serves as a revenue
collection agency, and a myriad of outdated
regulations that are gifted a convenient cop
out clause in the form of vaguely worded
criteria that allow the powers that be to
tread the line between misleading and
dishonest. The arbitrary and petty nature
of certain processes, coupled with the
constantly changing and unclear criteria, can
make something like a licence application
feel like nothing more than a thinly veiled
bribe, under the guise of legitimate due
process. It’s a trait of this part of the world;
the over complication of processes and
implementation of arbitrary guidelines that
largely serve the institutions that perpetuate
these processes and guidelines, rather than
the people they claim to assist. No, this is
not the case 100 per cent of the time but
it often is, and we feel it regularly in our
backyard. It’s a vocalized facade trumpeting
arts and culture rendered laughable in a
city landmarked by the cruel poeticism of
constant reminders such as the old Red
Gate now occupied by a Crossfit, or
development deals being sweetened by
the allure of the very “cultural fabric”
they are rendering obsolete.
It’s hard not to feel like the walls are
closing in. The available area is literally
shrinking. But this is not an excuse to fold.
It’s under these circumstances that the finest
art emerges and the most creative thinkers
are forced to invent new ways of existing, of
sustaining, and of thriving. The landscape
is changing. The new era of Vancouver is
looming over the remnants of the golden
age, and although I loathe much of what is
coming, I’m excited for the art and music
that will grow out of adversity.
Mitch Ray puts on events and manages
artists under the name Art Signified. He also
co-runs an art space in Vancouver known as
Studio Vostok located at 246 Keefer.
THE SKINNY
December 2016