The Good Life - Nov-Dec 2013

3

FOOD FOR THE
FOOTBALL FANATICS
Stock the Man Cave with Snacks for Kick-off
By: MEGAN HAVIG | PHOTOS: MEGAN HAVIG
W
hether you’re hosting a football party with the guys or you want to watch ESPN’s Monday Night
football in total silence, you still need to treat the games with respect. Basically, you need to have
the proper grub.
Types of game-day dishes run as vast as the football teams themselves. And no matter what
type of food consumer you are (master chef or takeout titan), there is something juicy, spicy or
a downright touchdown to the taste buds out there, specifically for you.
Master Chef Makes the Grub
If you find yourself always bringing the sustenance for tailgating, hanging out over the grill for the playoffs
party or perfecting the family chili recipe for Super Bowl Sunday, then consider making these savory snacks
for your game day.
Bacon Wrapped Smokies
(courtesy of www.allrecipes.com)
Gear up for the first half of the game with these “pop-in-the mouth” treats. The best part about Bacon
Wrapped Smokies is that they are easy to make, yielding the perfect salty and sweet taste. Expect 20 minutes
of prep time, 40 minutes of cook time and finished off by half-time!
INGREDIENTS
• 1 pound sliced bacon, cut into thirds
• 1 (14 ounce) package beef cocktail wieners
• 3/4 cup brown sugar, or to taste
2
Bacon Wrapped
Smokies
INSTRUCTIONS
1 Preheat oven to 325
degrees Fahrenheit.
2 Refrigerate bacon until
chilled. Wrap individual
smokies with one strip
of bacon and secure
with a toothpick. Spread
across a baking sheet.
3 Sprinkle brown sugar on
each smokie.
4 Cook in the oven for 40
minutes or until brown
sugar is bubbling.

FRANKS® REDHOT®
Buffalo Chicken Dip
FRANK’S® REDHOT®
Buffalo Chicken Dip
(courtesy of www.franksredhot.com)
Kick spice into the game with a dish that has
bite. Served spicy hot, this dip pairs well with bread,
crackers or celery. A neutral dipping side will allow the
cheesy goodness to score with a kick on the palate.
INGREDIENTS
• 8 oz. pkg. cream cheese, softened
• 1/2 cup blue cheese or ranch salad dressing
• 1/2 cup FRANK’S® REDHOT® Original
Cayenne Pepper Sauce or FRANK’S®
REDHOT® Buffalo Wing Sauce
• 1/2 cup crumbled blue cheese or shredded
mozzarella cheese
• 2 thawed chicken breasts
INSTRUCTIONS
1 Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
2 Cook and shred chicken. Set aside.
3 Set cream cheese into small crockpot and
heat until soft and smooth.
4 Stir in salad dressing, FRANK’S® REDHOT®
Sauce, cheese and cooked, shredded
chicken.
5 Cook in crockpot until the dip is hot all the
way through.
6 Set crockpot on low to serve.
Skaff
Family Chili
Skaff Family Chili
(courtesy of Laneil Skaff)
The leaves are turning, the air is brisk and with all
the football that fall has to offer, it’s only right to finish
off the game with a steaming bowl of homemade
chili.
INGREDIENTS
• 3 cloves garlic - minced
• 1 large onion - diced
• 2 lbs. ground beef
• 2 15 oz. cans diced tomatoes
• 1 15 oz. can tomato sauce
• 1 8 oz. can tomato paste
• 2 bay leaves
• 1 tablespoon chili powder
• 1 teaspoon Cumin
• Salt and pepper to taste
• 1 15 oz. can chili beans
• 1 15 oz. can kidney beans, rinsed
INSTRUCTIONS
1 Brown beef in pot.
2 Add minced garlic and diced onion.
3 Add tomato sauce, tomato paste and diced
tomatoes.
4 Add chili beans and rinsed kidney beans.
5 Add chili powder, cumin and bay leaves.
6 Add salt and pepper as well as the other
powdered spices to taste.
7 Let simmer on low for at least 2 hours.
8 Remove bay leaves and serve.
With good food and drinks, your party can soar to the end zone. Make sure to keep all your goods in slow
cookers on low throughout the game. This will keep their heat and taste until the final score. 3

IN EVERY ISSUE
LOCAL HEROES
32
MILITARY KIDS
Sometimes the Smallest People
Have the Largest Hearts
16
ON THE COVER
CASS COUNTY
16
SHERIFF
PAUL LANEY
32
ARTICLES
FOOD FOR
2
THE FOOTBALL
FANATICS
Stock the Man Cave with
Snacks for Kick-off
6
THANKSGIVING
TIPS FOR DADS:
Lessons From Football
12
NOVEMBER-DECEMBER 2013
4
CREATIVE DIRECTOR
Dawn Siewert
dawn@urbantoadmedia.com
PHOTOGRAPHY
Darren Losee
darren@urbantoadmedia.com
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Soo Asheim
Meghan Feir
Paul Hankel
Megan Havig
Alicia Underlee Nelson
Jenessa McAllister

ARTICLES CONTINUED
FARGO PHOTOGRAPHER
8
CREATES NEW IMAGES OF HISTORY
Dan Francis Uses Photos and Editing to Give Downtown
Fargo a New Look
12
14
HOLIDAY COCKTAILS
WHAT NOT TO BUY FOR
YOUR SWEETHEART
HOW TO COPE
24
WITH THE
DREADED IN-LAWS
OVER THE HOLIDAYS
26
DEFENDING
THE NET
An Interview With Fargo Force
Goalie Cam Johnson
24 26
PUBLISHED BY | Urban Toad Media LLP | www.urbantoadmedia.com |
/urbantoadmedia
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The Good Life magazine is distributed six times a year by Urban Toad Media LLP. Material may not be reproduced without
permission. The Good Life magazine accepts no liability for reader dissatisfaction arising from content in this publication. The
opinions expressed, or advice given, are the views of individual writers or advertisers and do not necessarily represent the views
or policies of The Good Life.
5

Thanksgiving Tips for Dads:
LESSONS FROM FOOTBALL
By: CAREY CASEY | WWW.FATHERS.COM
ihave a prediction: I bet you’re going to watch
a football game or two on Thursday ...
It’s a great tradition — at least one that
I enjoy each Thanksgiving.
And here’s one thing I really like about
watching football with the family. Football, as
with all sports, comes ripe with teachable moments.
Think about the messages you are sending to
your kids while watching a football game. When your
team is too far behind to catch up, do you roll your
eyes and say, “They might as well go home?”
Or do you cheer for them, shouting for them to
play their hearts out anyway?
And when a referee makes a bad call that favors
your team, do you call for fairness anyway?
So with that in mind, here are some tips for dads …
6
Action Points for Watching Football on Thanksgiving:
1. Hold your team to high standards.
If one of your favorite team’s players is
misbehaving, don’t defend him. Defending people
who behave inappropriately could teach your kids
that it’s okay for them to disregard authority figures
in their lives (even you) if it serves their own purposes.
It also tells children that some adults don’t have to
behave. This is the wrong message to send children.
Yes, children should respect adults. But they should
also be aware that adults shouldn’t get away with
inappropriate behavior simply because they are
adults.
So when you see a player or coach misbehave, or
when a referee makes an unfair call that benefits your

team, calmly explain to your child that you disagree.
You can say things like:
• “Oh, it’s too bad the referee made that call. I like
to see my team win fair and square.”
• “I wish that player wouldn’t behave that way. I’m
always a little embarrassed to watch a grownup who
doesn’t know how to control himself.”
2. Manage your anger appropriately.
I really don’t like it when the Chiefs are losing. In
fact, when I’m watching a game alone, I’ve been known
to blow off a little steam. But when your children are
watching a game with you, it is important that you
manage your anger and disappointment.
If your team plays its heart out and still loses, you
have an opportunity to teach your children that you
will love them even if they make mistakes or fail.
Sure, it’s okay to be disappointed, but being angry
or mocking a team’s performance just because they
lose sends your kid a negative message: I’ll stop loving
you if you fail. If you haven’t done it in a while, maybe
this weekend would be a good time to come right out
and tell your child: “I will always love you no matter
what — even when you fail, mess up or make bad
decisions.”
3. Encourage goal-setting.
This is a good opportunity to talk to your children
about hard work and goal setting. Be sure your
children know how much you admire athletes for
their hard work and discipline. You can say things
like:
• “Can you imagine how much work it took for
Aaron Rodgers to get to this place? Look at that arm!
How many times do you think he’s thrown a football?”
• “I really admire the discipline required to be
a professional athlete. While the rest of the world
was slacking off in front of the TV, these guys were
practicing for hours on end.”
And on a related note, it won’t hurt to show that
you admire strength wherever it is displayed. Show
appreciation for the other team’s hard work, even
when they are beating your team.
4. Remember the bigger picture.
Sports have always been a great analogy for life.
You can tell a lot about a player, a coach, or a fan by
the way they celebrate victories, by the way they treat
their teammates and opponents, and by the way they
recover from setbacks.
You see, football is about a lot more than football.
And remember ... Thanksgiving is about a lot more
than football, too. Thanksgiving is about shifting your
perspective, remembering to count your blessings,
and focusing on your family and all of the love they
bring into your life.
So go around the table and voice your appreciation
for all things, little and small. Be sure that you are
engaged with your family and focused on what truly
matters. If the game is distracting, by all means ...
turn it off!
7

Dan Francis Photography | Taylor Made Photography
FARGO PHOTOGRAPHER
CREATES NEW IMAGES
OF HISTORY
Dan Francis Uses Photos and Editing
to Give Downtown Fargo a New Look
8
By: Alicia Underlee Nelson
Photographer Dan Francis of Dan Francis Photography uses his
original photos, an appreciation of history and masterful editing
to play with time.
Take a photo from his Fargo: Old to New Series, for example; it
will appear simple enough at first glance, expertly composed and featuring
downtown Fargo’s familiar landmarks. But a second glance revels that there’s
something beautifully unsettling going on just under the surface.

Dan Francis Photography | THE HODO, WALDORF, reflected heroes
Modern SUVs share the streets
with Model Ts. The shadows of
forgotten hotels float over today’s
bustling streets and the smoldering
embers of yesteryear’s fires flicker
at the edge of the frame, reminding
viewers that history is fluid and even
the most cherished cityscapes are
always changing.
“History is a fun learning
experience when you give the viewer
a snapshot of what was, placed on
top of what is,” said Francis. “By
blending the historical photographs
with modern images, I compare
and contrast the past to the present,
showing not only what has changed,
but what has stayed the same.”
Francis, a certified professional
photographer, has roots in Fargo-
Moorhead and found his muse, his
workspace and much of his clientele
in downtown Fargo. He works from
a studio at 10 8th Street North, where
he captures and edits wedding images,
portraits and commercial work.
Many of his clients, such as Bell
State Bank, The Fargo Theatre, The
Kilbourne Group and Mezzaluna,
are downtown institutions as well
as paying customers, and they often
find their facades featured in his
photographs.
“Fargo is home to most of
my clients, and Fargo’s history is
important to those that have lived
here for a period of time,” said Francis.
9

“My family has been living in Fargo for more than 70 years
so it was fun…to ask about their memories of what Fargo-
Moorhead was like back in the 40s through 70s.”
The inspiration for this project came to him in 2009,
when he discovered an old postcard featuring Fargo’s
Carnegie Library and the old Waldorf
Hotel.
“I couldn’t imagine these buildings
once stood in Fargo,” he said. “I found
out the Carnegie was now a parking lot
and the Waldorf had burned down in
1951.”
Unable to shake the ghosts of these
buildings, he trained his camera on
the ground where they once stood. His
studio became part editing suite and
part historical archive, as Francis used
his impeccable eye for detail to create
multilayered images.
“I layer the 2009 photograph on the
bottom and the older photograph on
top,” he explained. “I then slowly make any corrections I
need to make, such as making sure the windows match up,
the sidewalks match perfectly by using perspective. I then
10
Dan Francis Photography | HOMETOWN HERO
“By blending the
historical photographs
with modern images,
I compare and
contrast the past to
the present, showing
not only what has
changed, but what has
stayed the same.”
— Dan Francis
take the erase tool, lightly erase parts of the older picture,
slowly revealing the 2009 photograph. I place the older
photograph on top because I’ll most likely keep more of the
older photograph in the picture then the newer buildings.
Since individuals see the modern buildings everyday, I
want to capture more of the past.”
The process uses Francis’ original
photographs and his expertise with
Photoshop, which were honed by
the practical, hands-on experience he
received during six years of work in a
photography studio as much as – if not
more than – his classroom education.
“Most new photographers now
don’t get this chance to work at a
photography studio, because there’s
only a couple studios that actually
hire employees. They get a camera
and just start photographing clients,
not really understanding the basics of
photography and business first. Being
on the job at a photography studio first really helped me
take it slow and learn what I needed to before I went out
and set up my studio downtown.”

SEE THIS IMAGE AT “THE UPTOWN GALLERY”
Francis considers practical education and business
sense — as well as daily studies of light and composition
and “emotion and impact to help separate themselves
from other photographers” – to be essential for a
photographer. And he’s sharing what he knows with new
photographers. He teaches photography and Photoshop
classes at M|State and is eligible for his Master of
Photography degree in January, after a four-year process
of submitting photographs to a panel of judges and
speaking and attending photography events nationwide.
Francis is also a member of the Professional
Photographers of North Dakota, The Professional
Photographers of America, The National Association of
Photoshop Professionals and a local group of professional
photographers called the Dead Pixel Group.
Earlier this year, Francis’ image “The Traveler” was
named one of the Professional Photographers of America’s
Top 10 Portraits of the Year, beating out over 5,000 images
from photographers from seven different countries. His
image of the reflected Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall
was featured on the cover of Black & White Magazine, a
periodical for collectors of fine photography worldwide.
Photography is integral to Francis’ definition of the
good life. And he has this advice for anyone interested in
pursuing the art form.
Dan Francis Photography | THE TRAVELER
“The good life to me is to make time for what you’re
passionate about – to keep doing what drives you to pick
up the camera every day and create photographs,” he said.
“Keep pursuing the good life in everything you do and
keep your motivation high. I know I’m doing what I’m
supposed to be doing because I can’t go a day without
doing something photography related. There will be no
retirement from this career. There will be no hanging up
my camera when I’m 65.”
Dan Francis Photography | HERE’S THE PROBLEM
11

Holiday Cocktails
Spread some holiday cheer with these adult beverages!
Candy Cane Martini
Ingredients
• 1 1/2 oz vodka
• 1/2 - 1 tsp peppermint schnapps
• 1 oz club soda
• 4-5 ice cubes
• crushed candy canes
Directions
Placed crushed candy canes on a small plate. Wet the
outside rim of a chilled martini glass with water. Holding
the glass by the stem, rotate the rim to coat with candy.
In a cocktail shaker, add some ice cubes. Over the cubes,
pour the vodka, peppermint schnapps, and club soda.
Shake until well combined. Strain and pour the blended
drink into the prepared glass.
Grinch Martini
Ingredients
• 1/2 oz freshly squeezed lemon juice
• 1 tsp sugar syrup
• 2 oz Midori
• 4-5 ice cubes
• maraschino cherry
for garnish
Directions
In a cocktail shaker, add some ice cubes. Over the cubes, pour
the lemon juice, sugar syrup, and Midori. Shake until well
combined. Strain and pour the blended drink into a chilled
martini glass. Garnish with a maraschino cherry.
12

Apple Toddy
Ingredients
• 1/2 orange, halved
• 4 cloves
• 3 cups apple cider
• 2 cinnamon sticks
• brandy to taste
• apple slice
Directions
Stud the orange halves with cloves. In a medium
saucepan, bring the cider, cinnamon and oranges
to a simmer. To serve, add a shot of brandy to
a cup. Ladle in the hot cider and garnish with an
apple slice.
Irish Coffee
Ingredients
• 1 oz Kahlua coffee cream
• 1 oz Irish whiskey
• freshly brewed coffee
• whipped cream
Directions
Add liquors and coffee in
an Irish coffee glass. Stir.
Top with whipped cream.
Bourban Manhattan
Ingredients
• 3/4 oz sweet vermouth
• 2 1/2 oz bourbon whiskey
• 1 dash angostura bitters
• 1 maraschino cherry
• 1 orange peel twist
Directions
Combine vermouth, whiskey, and a dash of bitters with
2 to 3 ice cubes in a mixing glass. Stir gently. Place the
cherry in a chilled cocktail glass and strain the mixture
over the cherry. Rub the cut edge of the orange peel
over the rim of the glass and twist it over the drink to
release the oils, but don’t drop it in.
13

WHAT NOT TO BUY
FOR YOUR SWEETHEART
hether this is your first year of buying a Christmas present for your honey buns or your 40th, you
may find shopping for her a seemingly indomitable task. In order to make life a little less stressful,
I’ve whittled the wearying list of gift options down for you, gentlemen. Here is a list of things you
Wshould never buy a woman, unless she has earnestly asked for them.
Any candle or fragrance that
remotely resembles the “Sweet Pea”
or “Moonlit Path” scents at Bath &
Body Works or Wal-Mart. Even if
she likes those fragrances, don’t buy
them. You’ll regret it if you do. They
smell like the essence of an overly
serious teenage girl of the ‘90s (I
don’t have a source for this).
Anything camouflage or neon
orange. One of my best friends
informed me that Menard’s now
carries camouflage lingerie. This
isn’t a good thing. It would actually
be better for you to sew together
an outfit of leaves, if you’re that
obsessed with the idea of making
her difficult to find.
A version of something she
hinted for, but isn’t exactly the
same. If she’s specifically hinting for
“Pocahontas” and “Star Wars,” don’t
buy her “Avatar.” However, if she’s
asking for a gold bracelet with cubic
zirconium, go ahead and buy her a
24K gold bracelet with diamonds.
14
By: MEGhan Feir

Presents that mean work for someone else (i.e., her). No matter how cool that mop at Wal-Mart looks, resist the
urge to fit it in an enlarged stocking by the fireplace.
A lock of your hair placed in a gold locket. This may have been acceptable
and idolized in the hearts of 18th-century, doe-eyed girls, but time
traveling doesn’t exist – yet. Save this idea for later when these
inventions are easily accessible (and safe).
I was recently reminded by a Mary Kay saleswoman that
my good looks won’t last forever. Although this is true, please,
don’t buy your woman anti-aging products. That saleswoman
has been trained to sell, but don’t allow her to sell you just
anything. As an ex-beauty consultant, I am happy to say that
my retail days of helping men in need find presents for their
ladies never resulted in a woman finding wrinkle cream
under her tree.
Self-help books are also a no-no. “Honey, sugar pie, you
have problems. Read this.”
You should also forgo buying her workout programs, weights,
exercise gear and dieting books. You might as well tell her she’s
getting a little too big for her britches. You might as well tell her she
doesn’t look like she did when you first met. You might as well tell
her to stop growing so quickly. Good luck with that.
To package many of my points in one nice, neat, department
store-wrapped Christmas package (bow included), don’t
buy a woman anything that insinuates she has mental,
physical or emotional problems that need to be “fixed,”
preferably sometime in the approaching new year. Do
not, I repeat, do not buy her gifts
that make her more self-conscious
than she already may be, and don’t
purchase things that ultimately result
in more work for her.
If she’s one of those oh-I’measy-I-like-everything
types,
dare to dig a little deeper. Ask
her, relentlessly, if need be,
what she would love. Ask her
friends, her family, even your
pets, if you get to that point
of frustration.
Now, if only someone
would tell me what to buy for
men.
15

16

17

By: Wsoo asheim | photos: urban toad media
hen you are the Paul
first sheriff-elect
to replace a wellliked
sheriff of 28
years, the platform
on which you based
your election win has
to be far more than
empty promises and
platitudes. The passion
to convince the citizens that you will serve and protect
them cannot waver, nor can the commitments you make.
18
Laney entered the election in 2006 to win the Cass
County Sheriff’s position, knowing full well that everything
he said would be documented and brought back up if he
failed to fulfill the promises he made while campaigning.
And he knew that when the ballots were counted, his fate
was sealed and the semi-anonymous life he had led was
coming to a screeching halt.
Someone with less conviction about what the job
means — “to protect and serve” — might have felt his
election was a mandate to completely overhaul the entire
sheriff’s department. But Laney didn’t feel that would be
fair to those who had worked there for years and were

Marines. After graduating from West Fargo High School
in 1984, Laney enlisted in the Marine Corps and served
within a Communication Detachment as part of the 13th
Marine Expeditionary Unit. As his four-year commitment
to the Marines was ending, he needed to decide whether
to re-enlist or to walk away with everything the Marines
had taught him — a tough decision, because according to
Laney, he is everything he has become in large part due to
his years in the US Marine Corps. However, Laney also felt
a beckoning to go back where he began.
United States Marine Paul Laney was honorably
discharged in October of 1988 and decided to visit his
father, then living in the Minneapolis area. (Paul’s mom
still lived in Fargo.) The 9 month reunion Paul spent with
his dad were great, and gave Paul time to contemplate the
future. His years in the Marines had given him a purpose
he believed in – serving his country – and he knew that his
goal going forward would need to be within a structured
environment that fulfilled his need to serve.
apprehensive about changes on the horizon, which might
suddenly turn their world upside-down. While some were
ready and anxious for new methods and a management
style with strong leadership, Laney felt his first call was to
put to rest the rumors within the department, and let the
people he now depended on to create a modernized and
first-rate sheriff’s department know that he appreciated
them and their hard work, and that he wanted their input
going forward.
When I asked when he knew that law enforcement
was what he wanted as a lifetime career, Laney will say he
believes it “came together” for him while serving in the
19
photo submitted by Paul Laney

Paul returned to Fargo, and in August of 1989 he
was hired by the Fargo Police Department. During his
seventeen and a half years as a police officer, Paul gained
invaluable experience both as a person and as a leader,
learning the ropes in many different areas of police work.
He also joined the ranks of investigator with the gang
and narcotics division. Laney’s determination to be not
just a “good” cop, but among the very best, led him to
qualify as a field training officer so that those coming into
the department could become what the citizens of Fargo
deserved — law enforcement officers who were the best
on the street, with the best training they could get. The
parts of town that most of us rarely see are where most of
the incidents that patrol officers experience every day tend
to occur. Unfortunately, much of an officer’s job is seeing
people in times of crisis, perhaps when death’s door
has opened due to accidents, suicides, physical assaults,
violent sexual assaults and even murders. Without
proper technical training combined with the appropriate
perspective that enables our officers not only to do their
best but to handle it psychologically, day in and day out,
the burnout rate would be extremely high. This takes
dedication to the job and to the force, and above all, a
strong commitment to “protect and serve.”
Paul also served as a tactical team member, and
when he retired from the police force in 2006 he was a
lieutenant and commander of the Red River Valley SWAT
team.
20
Corporal Tommy Ray and Sheriff Paul Laney
THE NEXT STEP
In 2006 Lieutenant Laney decided to run for Cass
County Sheriff for a number of reasons. However, the
primary reason was his persistent self-imposed goal to serve
the people where he grew up. Laney also believes leadership
has different levels.
One of his more notable schemes came the same
year he was elected sheriff, when he and his team held a
“warrant party” to lure in skally-wags and scoundrels
who were ignoring outstanding warrants on any number
of illegal activities as well as several dead-beat dads who
were choosing to ignore their child support obligations.
The “lure” was for attendees who might be planning on
attending or wanting to attend the Ozzy Osbourne and Rob
Zombie concert. Sheriff Laney’s office sent out 500 letters to
individuals insinuating they could get “back stage passes”
for a personal “meet and greet” at a local bar with one or
more of the band members, possibly meet the two rock
stars themselves, or just to have the “winners” win a photo
taken with Ozzy Osbourne or Rob Zombie. But the only
“meet and greet” these particular wanted individuals got
was from Cass County deputies, slinging handcuffs around
their wrists. No one can remember a “sting” such as this, nor
one as successful — certainly not in North Dakota! While
some grumbles were heard from the public, the majority felt
that the operation not only sent a much-needed message to
anyone thinking that ignoring a warrant for any reason in
Cass County would eventually be forgotten. It also showed
that Sheriff Laney and his deputies had a good sense of
humor, a commodity not always obvious when they’re
chasing crooks.
It was Cass County’s good fortune to have Sheriff
Laney as the top decision-maker during the county-wide
flooding crisis a mere two years after taking office. In 2009,
Cass County faced the hellish and historic flooding of the
century. If anyone ever had any doubts about Paul Laney’s
ability as a take-charge leader, they had none by the time the
Red River ebbed. Sheriff Laney supervised the rescue of 168
residents from their flooded homes. He also managed the

sergeant Amanda Henrickson, Sheriff Paul Laney, sergeant Jon Morse, sergeant Katie Jacobson
coordination of a multi-agency flood response for the Red
River Valley area, as well as forming the Tactical Operations
Center (aka TOC), where several agencies worked together
in rescue operations and flood responses. This was seen
as such an invaluable advantage in managing large-scale
emergency operations that FEMA has adopted the TOC
concept and is implementing it
nationally as a “best practice” method
of handling major emergencies. While
Laney speaks proudly of his team
making it work, it goes without saying
that given the leadership needed to
handle such awesome responsibilities,
while managing several agencies at
once, Laney scrubbed all doubts of his
abilities. During the Minot flooding
debacle, Sheriff Laney lent his expertise
in TOC protocol, manpower and the
Airboats he got through grant funding
the year before.
In the two terms Sheriff Laney has served, he has
developed several time-saving measures to be used during a
variety of emergencies. One that all parents will appreciate
is called the Cass/Clay Unified School Response Plan, which
puts all schools within both Cass and Clay (Minnesota)
Counties on the same emergency response plan for critical
incidents. Sheriff Laney and then Fargo School District
Assistant Superintendent Lowell Wolff coordinated this
emergency response plan together.
Understanding that having more heads and hands
to help during emergencies is a nobrainer,
Laney created a plan called
the Field Readiness Training Program
for licensed officers. Budget-conscious
taxpayers’ especially like this idea, as
it allows for more volunteer staffing
and doesn’t require the hiring of
permanent additional staff. At the
same time, it prepares licensed officers
who can always use more training.
How does a jail handling as
many as Cass County houses handle
disturbances involving disruptive
inmates? With the Corrections
Emergency Response Team, that’s how. There is also an
Office of Professional Standards today which investigates
any internal and external complaints against the Cass
County Sheriff’s Office personnel.
21

These and the several other programs that Sheriff Laney
and his team have developed are what make an organization
with over 140 employees (many of whom carry guns with
real live ammo) tick like a finely tuned clock. The key is
mentoring the people in charge of their departments – to
motivate them to want to lead, as well.
LANEY’S “DRIVE THE ROAD”
PHILOSOPHY
Sheriff Laney and I had a two-hour
interview, and during those two hours
there were three major points Laney
kept reiterating. One is the Paul Laney
“drive the road” philosophy. Number
two is the love he feels for his wife Patty
and two daughters, Danielle and Katy,
and number three is the near-obsessive
dedication Laney has for the position
of protecting and serving the public he has been elected to
serve, along with his “family in brown.”
Sheriff Laney makes no bones about the expectations
he has of himself and everyone else who works for the Cass
County Sheriff’s Office. His standards are very high. And
22
Sergeant Jon Morse, Deputy Cynthia Briard, Sheriff Paul Laney,
Deputy Vincent Smith, Sergeant Amanda Henrickson
“Each and every day
as I back out of our
driveway, I thank God
for being able to go to
a job I absolutely
love doing,”
— Sheriff Paul Laney
that does include everyone who works for the Cass County
Sheriff’s Office — regardless of their actual job. From the
person who hands out shower towels to the sheriff himself,
Laney’s position is “if they wear a brown patch on their
uniform, they are part of the family in brown: the Cass
County Sheriff’s Office,” and they work under his guidance.
I asked about a couple of his “no can
do” rules; for instance, no one within
the sheriff’s office is allowed to work in
a saloon serving drinks. Laney’s reason:
how does one rationalize serving
booze to someone one night, then
perhaps having to arrest them the next
for a DWI or DUI? Sheriff Laney has
a point, as it seems that would create
a conflict. He also has a steadfast rule
about moonlighting for private security
firms. Other than that, contrary to
several rumors I’ve heard, Sheriff Laney has no issue with
anyone wanting to work another job during their off hours
from the sheriff’s office.
Sheriff Laney’s “drive the road” philosophy is actually
pretty common-sense and uncomplicated: do nothing

in your professional or personal life that will hurt the
reputation of all the others who work with you each and
every day. Laney is the “last stop” during any hiring process,
and when he offers up his “Drive the Road” speech, he
makes sure that every applicant understands that “the job
is not about you or me; it is about serving and protecting
the people of Cass County.” And from Sheriff Laney’s point
of view, those people deserve to have only the best keeping
them safe from whatever harm may befall them. Laney also
knows that no one is perfect; we all make mistakes, and
sometimes we “drive in the ditch.” When that happens, he
expects total transparency. If someone intentionally “drives
in the ditch” it will be dealt with. However, if someone
mistakenly “drives in the ditch,” he believes in carrying
them for as long as it takes until they’re back “driving the
road.” But don’t tell a fish tale about why you went into the
ditch in the first place. Dishonesty leads to a lack of trust,
and a lack of trust is simply not tolerated. Given Sheriff
Laney’s position and that of his deputies, transparency and
honesty should be expected by all — co-workers and the
public alike.
Sheriff Paul Laney talks about Patty and their daughters,
Katie and Danielle. Patty is an attorney and is also the Director
of the Criminal Justice Program at Fargo’s Rasmussen
College. Laney says she is his “absolute rock, who keeps me
balanced. She gets the ‘drive the road’ philosophy.” Katy
and Danielle are in their teens and active in athletics.
When I asked Sheriff Laney about winning the National
Sheriffs’ Association award in 2012, the Ferris E. Lucas
Award for Sheriff of the Year, Laney beamed and repeated
much of what he said the night he was given the award: “It’s
not just me. WE did it.” The Ferris E. Lucas award recognizes
an outstanding sheriff of the year for the contributions and
improvements made to the office of sheriff on any local, state
and national level, as well as for their overall involvement in
their communities beyond their responsibilities as sheriff.
Given the task forces Laney has been an integral part of,
his leadership during crisis situations in Cass County as
well as other counties in North and South Dakota, the
expansion of mentorships and programs within the Cass
County Corrections facility (Laney states, “I refuse to
warehouse people. The majority of our inmates are not
horrible sinful people. They simply ‘drove in the ditch’ and
it’s their behavior that needs changing mostly. As long as we
can help even one person realize the mistakes they made
and prevent more recidivism, I’m willing to help promote
programs.”), and the overall change of attitude throughout
the entire Sheriff’s Office, one would have to be blind not to
see how much Laney’s attitude and dedication have made
for a much more positive environment.
As for Sheriff Paul Laney, he says, “Each and every day as
I back out of our driveway, I thank God for being able to go
to a job I absolutely love doing,” and that’s what living the
good life is all about.
23

How to Cope With the
Dreaded In-Laws Over the Holidays
By: MEGhan Feir
W
ith the holidays swiftly approaching,
some are dreading the inevitable visits
with the in-laws. Movies have been
made about these encounters, and
rehashing personal experiences have
probably replaced ghost stories at campfires
across the world.
As a single 20-something, one could
doubt my street cred on the subject
of being married into a strange
family, but where I lack personal
experience, my imagination and
observations make up for it.
Here are some semi-creative
ways of how you can deal with
your “other” (or your own)
family.
1
Sit in a La-Z-Boy recliner
and read the newspaper
all day, like so many men
before you. The result: Your
in-laws and spouse will find
you incredibly dull, and you
won’t win any brownie, cake
or krumkake points with
anyone, including yourself.
You’ll also gain more weight
and appear to be a freeloader
as you eat your fair share of
pumpkin pie, turkey and
the infamous green bean
casserole.
2
Hide yourself in
the bedroom closet
beneath a pile of
dirty clothes, ne’er to be
found until after this yuletide
season is finished. Bring a few
quarts of eggnog to tide you over.
24

3
Expose
yourself to a multitude of illnesses a few
weeks ahead of time. You “don’t want to get the
family sick,” so you’ll “just have to stay home.”
4
Ask your best friend or best frenemy to
slightly run you over with their vehicle
immediately preceding your departure
for the in-laws’ homestead. A lighter car is
best (less recovery time to worry about). You’ll
get to spend your holiday at the hospital
eating 5-year-old chocolate pudding, dwelling
in a juxtaposed atmosphere of sickness and
sterility. This is what you dreamed about.
5
Be the better person. Force yourself to act cheerful
and charismatic, interested and kind. Not only
will your in-laws probably like you a lot more,
your other half will find it attractive, weird or not even
notice. I can’t guarantee which result you’ll receive from
your spouse, but your in-laws will appreciate it, unless
they really are crazy.
Option No. 5 was clearly, I hope, the best route to
take. As the old or new (the quote on Pinterest didn’t
have a date of origin) saying goes, you can’t control
how other people act, but you can control your own
attitude and actions. That was paraphrased.
So, how can you accomplish No. 5 flawlessly? Peel
the potatoes, give spontaneous back rubs (this could
also be taken as creepy), be sociable, and above all, be
grateful and kind, even if they are rude, annoying or just
awkward. Oftentimes, people can come off as strange
because they don’t know how to act themselves. Go
out of your way and break the ice for them, figuratively
speaking. Not only will you feel better knowing you
tried to be nice for your significant others’ sake, but
you’ll also be building your familial resume, in a
sense. Every action adds up, and the better you present
yourself, the more likely they’ll be to welcome you into
their family.
25

26

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By: Paul hankel | PHotos: urban toad media

While the Fargo Force may be the newest
sports team to make Fargo its home, it
didn’t take the team long to secure a
spot as one of the must-see attractions
in the area. A beautiful arena, coupled
with five straight appearances in the USHL Clark Cup
playoffs, has lead to a strong fan following and a steady
increase in support within our community.
Junior hockey provides fans the chance to see up and
coming talent from all over the country
and the world. One such player is Cam
Johnson, a native of Troy, Michigan
and in his second season with the
Fargo Force.
The Good Life Magazine was lucky
enough to catch up with Johnson as
he entered the final week of practice
before the start of the season. We sat
down with Johnson and asked him
about his time in Fargo, his love of
hockey and what we can expect to see
from the Fargo Force this season.
The Good Life: Tell us a little bit about yourself.
“I don’t think
we realize how
lucky we are
to get to play
hockey here.”
– Cam Johnson
CJ: I started playing hockey when I was three years old
and playing goalie when I was in Squirts. Second grade
was when I settled on being a goalie. I just fell in love with
playing the position. I also like how you get to design
your own gear and are the flashiest player on the ice.
GL: So you’ll be sporting a new helmet design this season?
CJ: (laughs) It’s actually kind of a funny story. We (Fargo
Force) don’t really have a logo. So I
went on Google and typed in ‘force,’
just to see what would pop up and a
picture of Darth Vader popped up! It
sparked my interest and I thought it
would look pretty cool on my helmet.
GL: How is playing goalie different
from playing any other position on the
ice?
CJ: It’s definitely a pressure position.
You’re the last line of defense and you
have to come in ready, game in and game out, and can’t
have an off night.
Cam Johnson: I was born and raised in Troy, Michigan. I
grew up there my entire life. Actually, coming to Fargo is
the first time I’ve ever been away from home.
GL: When did you start playing hockey and how did you
settle on goalie as a position?
28
GL: Which situation is more stressful for a goalie: A
breakaway or a shootout?
CJ: That’s a tough question. I’d have to say that, in a game
situation, a breakaway is more stressful. It’s kind of like
a heat of the moment thing. In my head, I’m saying,

29

‘Ok, it’s me and him. I gotta stop this guy.’ Whereas with
shootouts, you have some time between the shots, and
you know it’s coming, so you’re prepared.
GL: How do you handle the pressure?
CJ: (chuckles) Well, if I make a mistake it shows up on the
scoreboard! I just stay focused and trust my teammates.
GL: What’s going through your head right before a game?
CJ: I like to think about the game but I don’t like to think
about it too much. If I start to think about it too much, I
get nervous. So, before the game I just like to relax and let
the game come to me.
This season, Johnson will lace up as one of only six
returning players from last year’s playoff team. A team
that, last season set a record for wins in a season.
GL: How does your team build chemistry with so many
new players on the roster?
CJ: We’ve got a good core of veteran guys. We really try
to take charge and show all the younger guys the ropes.
We’ve got a lot of guys who’ve never played Junior hockey
before. It’s a completely different speed and pace at this
30
level. Our veterans have done a really good job of helping
the new guys adjust.
GL: What are the team’s goals this season?
CJ: Our team’s goal is to win the Clark Cup. We’re a great
team and have always been in the playoffs. Now we just
need to finish.
GL: And you personally?
CJ: A personal goal of mine is to win Goalie of the Year
for our league. I’m going to work really hard and try to
win that award. I’d also like to make the USA Junior-A
Challenge roster. That team goes overseas and plays teams
from other countries.
Off the ice, Johnson enjoys other sports like golf
and bowling, and hanging out with his teammates and
friends.
GL: So, you’re a pretty good bowler?
CJ: I am, actually. Last week I bowled a 218, which is one
of my best scores ever! I was pretty pumped about that.
GL: Any favorite TV shows?

CJ: I’m an America’s Got Talent guy.
I also like The Voice. Duck Dynasty
has to be my favorite show right
now. I wish I could spend a day with
those guys, they’re hysterical!
GL: Who’s your favorite NHL player?
CJ: I would have to go with Pavel
Datsyuk. He’s a Detroit Red Wing
and they’re also my favorite team.
I just think that he’s the best
player in the NHL, defensively and
offensively.
GL: Do you have a favorite NHL
goalie?
CJ: I do. I’d say its Ryan Miller from
the Buffalo Sabres. He’s a hometown
guy, being from Michigan. I grew
up watching him and really enjoyed
watching him during the last Winter
Olympics.
When asked what he likes about
playing in Fargo, Johnson said he
loves the team, the facilities and the
supportive fans who consistently
pack Scheels Arena for home games.
“I don’t think we (the players)
realize how lucky we are to get to
play hockey here. “
In his second season with the
Force, Johnson hopes to raise his
level of play, become a bigger leader
on the team, and, of course, win the
Clark Cup. Next year, Johnson is
headed north to play hockey for the
University of North Dakota. After
college, he has hopes of making an
NHL roster.
When asked what the good life
means to him, Johnson’s answer was
simple: “Playing hockey with my
friends and being here in Fargo. To
me, that’s the good life.”
“If I make a mistake,
it shows up on the
scoreboard!”
– Cam Johnson
31

By: Jenessa McAllister
Sometimes the Smallest People
Have the Largest Hearts
T
eary-eyed goodbyes,
emotional letters from
home, and daddy’s
eventful surprise homecoming
are often the first things
people think of when considering
military deployment. But what’s
behind all of this emotion? How
does the deployment of parent affect
a family, and specifically, his or her
children? Strong parental structure
is the backbone of every successful
family. When one of the household’s
leaders is removed, things can get a
bit uneven.
The majority of active service
members in the United States are
men, but a growing number are
women. There are approximately
8,300 kids in North Dakota with
at least one parent serving in the
military. Whether service members
are away from home for weeks, years,
or anywhere in between, there’s no
doubt that the effect on children is
monumental, and can change their
lives for years to come.
It is estimated that more than
2 million U.S. children have
experienced the deployment of a
parent since 9/11. But what’s below
the surface of that number? How
does that hit home for the kids? After
32
hearing many first-hand stories and
circumstances of fathers being called
to war, a better understanding can be
gained for these heroes.
Coping with Change
There are many circumstances
that lead to different reactions among
family members when it comes to
their dad’s deployment. Length of
the deployment, location of the
assignment and age of the child are
the most prominent factors in these
reactions.
Rachel*, age 15, has experienced
her father’s deployment twice, with
six years between them, with the age
difference playing a role in the ways
she reacted each time. “My dad has
been deployed twice,” Rachel said.
“Once when I was in kindergarten
and the other when I was going into
6th grade. For the first deployment
I didn’t really understand what a
deployment was. I remember we
were sitting in our living room and
my parents told me that dad was
going to be gone for a while. The
second deployment was harder on
me because I was old enough to
understand that my dad was going
into a place of danger.”
Rachel’s words echo those of
Diane Hahn from NDSU Extension,
the program coordinator for
Operation: Military Kids (OMK) in
North Dakota. The OMK team works
with local communities to support

“These families sacrifice so much to serve our country, and we just need to
do something to give back and to honor them to support their families.”
— Diane Hahn, Operation: Military Kids
military youth through all stages of
deployment.“ A child’s reaction to
the deployment of a parent or loved
one depends on the child’s age and
developmental stage, and other
individual, family and community
factors” she said. “Toddlers may be
clingy and crying, and a teenager
could experience a range of different
emotions.”
Holly is a 25-year-old who was
17 when her dad was deployed. For
her, the experience was much deeper
than her dad just being gone for
a few months. “My dad is not my
biological father — he became my
dad when he married my mom in
2002,” Holly said. “He had already
missed out on so much of my life. It
just seemed so unfair that he would
miss another year, my senior year of
high school.”
Holly says she experienced some
of the same feelings Rachel did, in
the age difference of her siblings and
they way they each reacted. “I felt the
worry of my dad being gone much
more urgently than my three younger
siblings seemed to,” she said.
Confusion and rebellion are
other common reactions, as well as
fear and worrying about the safety
of the deployed. Kelly Painter, the
school liaison officer at the Grand
Forks Air Force Base and an OMK state
team member, has seen
a range of reactions among children
in these situations. “I remember one
specific story of the stress and strain
that one little boy went through,”
she said. “He was 8 years old, and
he came to my office very upset and
angry. He was angry about having
to do extra work, and his reaction
to this didn’t really sound like him.
He was emotional and crying, and
after talking with him, I realized
that he had just found out his dad
would be deployed again. The crux
of everything was happening, and he
just didn’t think it was fair.”
Painter also recalled a story of a
6-year-old who was demonstrating
weapon play out on the playground,
which was not allowed. When
approached and asked why he was
playing so violently, he explained
that he was going to teach his dad
some tips when he goes to war. In this
case, misinformation and confusion
led to this child thinking he had to
protect his dad from a war zone.
“He just really wanted to keep his
dad safe, which is understandable,”
Painter said. “But I explained to him
that his military background and
training would protect him just fine.”
An Upset in Family Dynamic
When one half of a two-parent
team leaves for a period of time,
household duties and responsibilities
often fall onto the shoulders
of the children in the family.
When 17-year-old Meghan’s
step-dad was away from home,
she definitely felt the pressure
of stepping up. “I was worried
that we weren’t going to be
able to get things done like
we were used to,” she said.
“With getting my two little
brothers and me to school
and activities was already hard
enough, and only having one parent
to do it was going to be extremely
stressful. Being the oldest of the
children I felt like everything was
my responsibility to either take care
of or fix. It was very hard for me to
watch my mom struggle when there
was only so much I could do about
it. We eventually got into a routine of
things and it became a lot easier.”
Eleven-year-old David’s dad was
deployed to Cuba three years ago,
and while David says he doesn’t
remember much of the day-to-day
struggles without his dad, he does
remember missing the little things.
“Every now and then we would have
a movie night, and it was sad when
he wasn’t with us,” he said. “And
every morning he used to make
breakfast for us. I really missed him
during those family times.”
In Rachel’s case, it was her
mother who stepped up to the plate,
and became a role model for Rachel.
“My mom had to be strong for me
and my brother,” she said. “She is
one of the bravest people I know. I
don’t know how she does what she
does, and then she had to do it all
without the love and support of her
husband there.”
For Holly and her mother, it
was the kindness of a neighbor
that helped them through. “It was
really emotional to watch my mom
struggle to take care of things my dad
usually did,” Holly said. “The first
time it snowed in 2005, she woke
up at 4:30 a.m. like my dad used to,
to clear out our massive driveway
with the big, push-snowblower. A
neighbor who was a local farmer
just showed up in our yard with his
tractor plow, knowing that my dad
was in Iraq. And he continued to
show up unannounced after every
snowstorm that year.”
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“I have so much pride
in telling people that
my dad has served our
country and I am so
proud of him.”
— Rachel, 15
34
Surrounding Support
Another touching story Holly shared
was that of her dad’s return home: “When
we went to go get him from the airport in
October, 2006, we painted him a big sign
that said ‘Welcome home, Dad.’ When he
walked out of security in his uniform, I
think I dropped my corner first, so anxious
to go hug him. Seconds later all six of us
were in a tight group hug and when we let
go, we turned to see that strangers from the
airport were holding our discarded sign.”
Another, different kind of support
comes from organizations like OMK. OMK
offers a variety of resources and connections
for families, intentional programming for
military kids using curricula created by
4-H, and different ways to raise community
awareness. “We want to put a smile on a
kid’s face,” Hahn said. “That’s the ultimate
goal, along with teaching life skills to help
them become more resilient individuals
and better citizens. These families sacrifice
so much to serve our country, and we just
need to do something to give back, honor
them, and support their families.”
Both Rachel and Meghan have become
involved in OMK in different capacities.
Rachel says she volunteers with the youth
council in her hometown, and has babysat
for Air Guard families for free. She has
shared her story of her dad’s deployment

with different people at OMK events, and has attended
several youth leadership summits with other military
kids.
Meghan is now a part of OMK in Fargo, and says
it’s been nice to meet other kids that understand what
it’s like to be living with just one parent. She has also
attended a youth leadership event with a community of
other military kids.
Being Proud
Sometimes, one of the biggest emotions involved
with military families is overlooked. Pride is a feeling
that accompanies a family member’s association and
dedication to our military, and rightly so.
“I have so much pride in telling people that my
dad has served our country and I am so proud of him,”
Rachel said. “He is so brave and I just hope that I can
be as brave as him when I am older.”
“I am marked by it in ways that people can’t
understand,” Holly added. “The concept of ‘war’
means something very different to me than the average
person. It affected me in ways I don’t even understand.”
First-Hand Advice
Lastly, each of the children interviewed were asked
what advice they would give to other kids who might
have just found out that their parent will be deployed.
Their answers are inspiring and truthful.
Meghan: “Be sure to think about good memories of
them while they’re gone. Maybe write them letters even
if you can’t send them; you could give them the letters
when they return and would really appreciate them.
And if you’re sad, spending time with family can really
help, maybe even talking about stories of that person.”
David: “Maybe pretend he’s not really gone.
Sometimes I used to tell myself he was just at work
really early in the morning and had to stay really late.”
Rachel: “Think about why they are over there. They
are serving our country and helping people who need
it. You should be proud of your parents and love every
minute you have with them. It helps to get involved with
activities with other kids whose parents are deployed.
Just to talk to someone you can relate to.”
Holly: “It’s ok to be sad and angry. People will shock
you with their grace and compassion, and that will
make it easier.”
No matter what coping route is taken, children who
deal with this kind of adversity often speak highly of
their experiences and end up being a stronger person
because of it. It’s fairly common for citizens to thank
military members for their service, but the children are
sometimes forgotten in this respect. Next time you see a
service member, be sure to thank their children as well;
after all, they play a huge part in the quiet sacrifices
families make in order for our country to be safer.
*Select names have been changed to protect privacy.
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