TFWMZ13_2017-04-01

"Mephistopheles and Lilith...“Not My Mephistopheles!”" - Short Story
by Joseph Wilson AKA Fishspit
I once lived with a black, snaggle-toothed, son of bitch named
Mephistopheles. He was a cat. He actually belonged to this chick
named Lilith. But to get him, I had to take her in too . . . so, I got that
cat and the woman that came with him.
She was a good woman. She did the best she could with me . . .
bailing me outta jail . . . cooking healthy meals . . . and listening to my
drunken reveries. She was a good woman, as far as women go.
But that cat! Now that was a cat! I was proud of my woman . . . but I
was goddamned proud of that snaggle-toothed, old, alley cat! When I
got up and drop-kicked that flea ridden cur out, I didn’t know where he
went. I figured he went and mooched some milk off the neighbor,
Jonesy . . . then went to town to give the gal cats a pinch or two.
But no! It started with Jonesy! He came on over . . . shaking Miss
Pearl (his white kitty) in my face! Miss Pearl was missing an ear. I
said, “That’s the damnedest thing Jonesy. Didn’t Miss Pearl have two
ears the last time I saw her.” “Goddamned right she had two ears!”
said Jonesy, “Your son-of-a-bitch cat come over and ate the damned
thing off!” I said, with absolute incredulity, “Mephistopheles?! Oh!
Jonesy! That’s Lilith’s cat. You’ll have to talk to her about that.” And I
slammed the door real fast before he could see Lilith. Our house was
very small. Lilith said, “Who was that?” “Darnedest thing Lilith,” I
told her, “Jonesy is accusing Mephistopheles of eating Miss Pearl’s
ear.” “Not my Mephistopheles!” answered Lilith. “That’s what I told
him Lilith. Your cat wouldn’t do that.” “How come Jonesy didn’t
come in and have coffee and cupcakes?” asked Lilith. “Ah, he was in a
hurry Lilith.”
But it only got worse. Pretty soon every neighbor within a ten block
radius came hunting us up. Little Cooch, Miss Montgomery’s cat, was
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