1 The Cuckoo's Calling

“And when did you find out that Lula was dead?”
Duffield drew his legs up to his chest again.
“Ciara woke me up and told me. I couldn’t—I was fucking—yeah, well.
Fucking hell.”
He put his arms over the top of his head and stared at the ceiling.
“I couldn’t fucking…I couldn’t believe it. Couldn’t fucking believe it.”
And as Strike watched, he thought he saw realization wash over Duffield that
the girl of whom he spoke so flippantly, and who he had, by his own account,
provoked, taunted and loved, was really and definitely never coming back; that
she had been smashed into pulp on snow-covered asphalt, and that she and their
relationship were now beyond the possibility of repair. For a moment, staring at
the blank white ceiling, Duffield’s face became grotesque as he appeared to grin
from ear to ear; it was a grimace of pain, of the exertion necessary to beat back
tears. His arms slipped down, and he buried his face in them, his forehead on his
knees.
“Oh, sweetie,” said Ciara, putting her wine down on the table with a clunk,
and reaching forward to place a hand on his bony knee.
“This has fucked me up proper,” said Duffield thickly from behind his arms.
“This has fucked me up good. I wanted to marry her. I fucking loved her, I did.
Fuck, I don’t wanna talk about it anymore.”
He jumped up and left the room, sniffing ostentatiously and wiping his nose on
his sleeve.
“Didn’t I tell you?” Ciara whispered to Strike. “He’s a mess.”
“Oh, I don’t know. He seems to have cleaned up his act. Off heroin for a
month.”
“I know, and I don’t want him to fall off the wagon.”
“This is a lot gentler than he would have had from the police. This is polite.”
“You’ve got an awful look on your face, though. Really, like, stern and as if
you don’t believe a word he’s saying.”
“D’you think he’s going to come back?”
“Yes, of course he is. Please be a bit nicer…”
She sat quickly back in her seat as Duffield walked back in; he was grim-faced
and his camp strut was very slightly subdued. He flung himself into the chair he
had previously occupied and said to Strike: