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REAL LIFE: ‘Our<br />

films are giving<br />

hope to people<br />

with dementia’<br />

Big-value fortnightly treat<br />

Spring salads<br />

with a twist…<br />

YOURS.CO.UK<br />

ISSUE <strong>270</strong><br />

Build<br />

stronger<br />

bones<br />

Easy 5-step action plan<br />

9 PAGES OF<br />

COOKERY<br />

& CRAFT<br />

✓ Seasonal Jersey<br />

Royal recipes<br />

✓ Make teapot<br />

herb planters<br />

✓ Best buys<br />

for the kitchen<br />

NEW<br />

Paul O’Grady:<br />

‘I’ve been<br />

such a fool…!’<br />

APRIL 25-<br />

MAY 8, 2017<br />

£1.55<br />

KEELEY HAWES:<br />

The Durrells are back<br />

and the animals are<br />

the real stars<br />

‘Get down Shep!’<br />

55 years of<br />

Blue Peter<br />

pets<br />

Figure-fixing<br />

denim classics


Inside<br />

COVER PIC:<br />

Real life<br />

9 Animal Magic<br />

12 ‘Telling Seth’s story’<br />

19 How to be a DJ<br />

21 COVER Making a difference for<br />

dementia sufferers<br />

23 Talking Point: Trains<br />

26 Bake Off’s Nancy Birtwhistle on<br />

her high-tech challenge<br />

Star chat<br />

10 COVER Paul O’Grady<br />

14 COVER Keeley Hawes<br />

and The Durrells<br />

16 COVER Blue Peter pets<br />

24 Robson Green<br />

146 Life lessons: Jane Asher<br />

Your best life now!<br />

29 Mole watch<br />

30 COVER Wearing denim<br />

34 Stronger hair plan<br />

36 Spring health reboot<br />

39 Diet recipe cards<br />

42 COVER Build stronger bones<br />

Good to know<br />

61 Laughter is good<br />

62 Trace your family tree<br />

65 Your questions answered<br />

67 Steam mops on test<br />

69 Yours Retirement Services<br />

71 Watching the pennies<br />

72 Difficult conversations<br />

Nostalgia<br />

54 Blast from the past: aromas<br />

57 Time of my life<br />

Leisure time<br />

89 COVER Cookery: Jersey Royals<br />

91 COVER Spring salads<br />

98 COVER Kitchen crafts<br />

105 Garden tips<br />

107 Secret Britain: Cambridge<br />

108 Travel: Bangkok<br />

111 The Suffolk Show<br />

112 Yours Travel Club<br />

Your favourites<br />

47 Meeting Place<br />

59 Roy Hudd<br />

75 Friends of Yours<br />

115 Free for every<br />

reader: dahlia print<br />

117 Carers in touch<br />

125 Puzzles to test you<br />

& prizes to win<br />

137 Short story<br />

145 Horoscopes<br />

this fortnight...<br />

£6,291<br />

OF PRIZES<br />

TO WIN<br />

34<br />

Strengthen<br />

your locks<br />

89<br />

Jersey Royals<br />

Leap into<br />

spring<br />

Welcome…<br />

I’m so looking forward to Paul O’Grady’s new show, For<br />

the Love of Animals – India. Of all wild animals, I’ve<br />

always had a particular affection for elephants – they<br />

seem so intelligent and compassionate – and I can’t<br />

wait to see what Paul makes of them when he meets<br />

the gentle giants of India. Reading his interview (p10)<br />

I think it’s going to be a real tearjerker!<br />

Talking of animals; we also take a fond look back at<br />

55 years of Blue Peter pets (p16) and The Durrells’ star<br />

Keeley Hawes (p14) tells us why the new series is<br />

so packed with all creatures great and small, she<br />

and her human co-stars are outnumbered!<br />

Look out, too, in this issue for our new-look<br />

‘Inspiring you’ section (p89-101). With nine<br />

pages of craft and cookery – it’s packed with<br />

fresh salad recipes, the lowdown on<br />

cooking oils, tips for Jersey Royals<br />

and seven different projects to pep<br />

up your kitchen – plenty to keep you<br />

busy then!<br />

See you<br />

next issue,<br />

Keep in touch...<br />

We want to hear your news and views<br />

Write to<br />

Yours magazine,<br />

Media House,<br />

Peterborough Business Park,<br />

Peterborough<br />

PE2 6EA<br />

Email<br />

yours@bauermedia.co.uk<br />

WEBSITE<br />

Find us at<br />

yours.co.uk<br />

FACEBOOK<br />

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Yoursmagazine<br />

36<br />

Sharon Reid,<br />

Editor<br />

108<br />

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Yours. Call 01733 468444 (Mon, Wed, Fri,<br />

9-1pm, or leave a message at other times).<br />

For other queries call 01733 468000.<br />

Five steps<br />

to difficult<br />

conversations<br />

How to wear<br />

denim<br />

Know<br />

your<br />

oils<br />

Visit our website<br />

yours.co.uk<br />

YOURS DIGITAL EDITION<br />

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Subscribe<br />

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edition<br />

visit<br />

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Jane Asher<br />

146<br />

Win £100!<br />

Find Sammy<br />

Squirrel…<br />

For how to join<br />

the search<br />

see page 125<br />

Free gift!<br />

Subscribe<br />

and get a<br />

Lip Plumper<br />

worth £24.99.<br />

See page 130<br />

97<br />

30


star chat<br />

‘Jerome<br />

would be<br />

my perfect<br />

partner in<br />

crime!’<br />

By Alison James<br />

Robson Green is<br />

momentarily<br />

lost for words –<br />

something that<br />

doesn’t happen<br />

very often, as the muchloved<br />

actor and TV presenter<br />

loves a chat. The reason for<br />

this lull in the conversation<br />

is because he’s mulling over<br />

which actor he’d choose to<br />

join him on the Granchester<br />

set in a guest role.<br />

“Mark Rylance, perhaps?”<br />

he ponders. “He’s absolutely<br />

brilliant. But hold on<br />

a minute – what about<br />

Jerome...? It’d be amazing<br />

if he wanted to do it. We<br />

haven’t worked together for<br />

years. It’s a great idea.”<br />

Indeed it is – but for series<br />

four, perhaps. Series three<br />

24<br />

Robson as Geordie<br />

and James Norton as<br />

Sidney, Grantchester’s<br />

YOURS n EVERY crime-fighting FORTNIGHT duo<br />

Robson Green tells why<br />

he’d love his former sidekick,<br />

Jerome Flynn, to appear in ITV’s<br />

period crime drama, Grantchester<br />

of the ‘cop ‘n’ clergyman’<br />

six-parter, co-starring James<br />

Norton, is already going out<br />

and is more popular than<br />

ever. Is Robson surprised by<br />

its success?<br />

“Yes and no,” he replies.<br />

“When we first started I<br />

didn’t know whether it<br />

would be popular – a period<br />

drama featuring a detective<br />

and a vicar who solve<br />

crimes in this quaint English<br />

village of Grantchester in<br />

the Fifties... But the viewers<br />

have really taken it to their<br />

hearts and it’s going down<br />

well in the US,<br />

too. I think this<br />

series is the<br />

best yet. The<br />

writing’s good,<br />

the production<br />

team is at<br />

the top of its<br />

game, the<br />

characters are<br />

engaging and likeable plus<br />

there’s a real warmth and<br />

charm to it. But there’s this<br />

undercurrent of something<br />

deeply uncomfortable, too.<br />

Whether it be racism, bigotry<br />

or whatever; the darkness<br />

that existed and the denial<br />

people lived in in the Fifties.<br />

In this series, the stories are<br />

grittier and more shocking<br />

than ever before and both<br />

my character, Geordie, and<br />

Sidney, played by James,<br />

are going through major<br />

changes in their own lives.”<br />

Such as?<br />

“As far as Geordie is<br />

concerned, it’s a case of<br />

him putting everything<br />

he holds dear at risk,”<br />

Robson explains. “He’s<br />

paralysed with the burden<br />

of guilt and obligation<br />

and has an overwhelming<br />

sense of routine. He feels<br />

his marriage is stale and<br />

Robson has worked (and<br />

sang!) with Jerome before<br />

but would love him to join<br />

the Grantchester cast<br />

redundant. But he’s looking<br />

at the wrong aspects of the<br />

relationship and thinks the<br />

grass is greener – which it<br />

never is.”<br />

Off screen, Robson (52)<br />

has the reputation of being<br />

the production’s ‘joker’.<br />

Is this true?<br />

“It is,” he admits. “When<br />

we were filming series two,<br />

I got a big telling off from the<br />

producer because I threw<br />

a bucket of cold water over<br />

James while we filming<br />

a swimming scene and<br />

he went under, although<br />

fortunately he was fine.<br />

Then during the filming of<br />

this series, I was ordered<br />

off set for telling James old<br />

Tommy Cooper jokes. One in<br />

particular really got to him –<br />

Tommy goes into a pet shop<br />

and asks for a wasp.<br />

‘We don’t have any,’ the<br />

assistant replies. ‘Well there’s<br />

one in the window,’ Tommy<br />

protests. Classic!”<br />

It’s the way you tell ‘em,<br />

Robson!<br />

n Grantchester is on Sunday<br />

evenings on ITV.<br />

PICS: REX/SHUTTERSTOCK


Your lifestyle has a huge impact on<br />

how healthy your bones are, says<br />

health writer Karen Evennett<br />

Your bone health shouldn’t be taken<br />

lightly. Without healthy bones to<br />

support you, it isn’t possible to lead<br />

an active life. While there are some<br />

things which affect your risk of brittle<br />

bones or osteoporosis that you can’t change,<br />

such as your age, gender and genes, there are<br />

some simple lifestyle tweaks that could help to<br />

support your skeleton and reduce your risk of<br />

falls and fractures.<br />

Build<br />

better<br />

BONES<br />

DOSE UP ON SUNSHINE<br />

Your risk of osteoporosis is higher if you cover up all<br />

summer, according to Sarah Leyland, Osteoporosis<br />

Nurse Consultant at the National Osteoporosis<br />

Society (www.nos.org.uk). “You need a healthy dose<br />

of summer sun to make Vitamin D, which is vital for<br />

bone health, among other things. But even if you bare<br />

your arms and get outside most days, Public Health England<br />

recommends that you top up with a daily 10mg (400iu)<br />

Vitamin D supplement.”<br />

Look for a supplement that contains Vitamin D3. Your<br />

body absorbs this type most easily, because<br />

it’s closest to the type it naturally<br />

manufactures from sunlight. Fat<br />

helps your body to make the best<br />

use of Vitamin D, so an oil-based<br />

supplement such as Fultium Daily<br />

D3 (£3.99 for a month’s supply)<br />

might be a good choice.<br />

n Available from pharmacies.<br />

DID YOU<br />

KNOW?<br />

Osteoporosis<br />

usually has no<br />

symptoms until a<br />

fracture occurs<br />

FOCUS ON CALCIUM<br />

The mineral we all associate with<br />

bone health is calcium. Dairy<br />

is the most obvious source with<br />

one 200ml glass of milk, plus a pot<br />

of yogurt and a cheese omelette<br />

adding up to the 700mg you<br />

need every day.<br />

“Be aware though,<br />

that cheese is acidic<br />

and eating it, along with<br />

other animal proteins,<br />

can rob you of more<br />

calcium than it provides,<br />

Do the calcium maths<br />

One tin of<br />

sardines<br />

(200mg)<br />

so try not to eat it every day,” says<br />

nutritionist Marilyn Glenville<br />

author of Osteoporosis – how<br />

to prevent, treat and reverse<br />

it (£10.99, Kyle Books, www.<br />

marilynglenville.com). Instead,<br />

choose organic live natural yogurt<br />

which is alkaline and has the<br />

advantage of being full of bacteria<br />

that is beneficial to your body.<br />

“Make your body more alkaline<br />

and calcium-friendly by eating plenty<br />

of fruit and vegetables,” says Marilyn.<br />

stay strong<br />

A portion of 10 almonds<br />

Two dried A small tin of A portion<br />

+ + + + + = 700mg<br />

basmati rice<br />

(50mg<br />

figs (100mg) baked beans<br />

of tofu<br />

(50mg)<br />

(100mg)<br />

(200mg) of calcium<br />

WATCH WHAT YOU<br />

DRINK – AND WHEN<br />

“Caffeine, alcohol and sugar<br />

are all acidic and lead to<br />

calcium being leached from<br />

your bones,” says Marilyn.<br />

“Phosphoric acid in fizzy<br />

drinks also tells your body to<br />

release calcium from bones.<br />

“Tea is not as bad as coffee<br />

bone-wise, but the tannin<br />

binds to calcium and other<br />

minerals in your digestive<br />

tract, preventing you from<br />

absorbing them.<br />

“Wait at least an hour after<br />

mealtimes before having<br />

a cuppa.”<br />

WALK THIS WAY<br />

Walking counts as weight-bearing<br />

exercise, making a demand on your<br />

skeleton and also working against<br />

gravity. “This helps to build bone<br />

density,” says Marilyn. “If you want<br />

to do something more vigorous, try<br />

jogging, dancing, step-climbing or<br />

cross-training.”<br />

Swimming doesn’t have the same<br />

bone-building effects as weightbearing<br />

exercise because the water<br />

is taking your weight for you, but it<br />

can help to strengthen your back,<br />

and that’s important to prevent rib<br />

fractures. “Yoga and pilates are worth<br />

trying because they keep you flexible<br />

and strengthen the core muscles in<br />

your abdomen, another way of keeping<br />

your balance,” says Marilyn.<br />

If you already have osteoporosis you<br />

may be nervous about exercising in case<br />

of a fracture. But it’s important for your<br />

overall health and your bones to stay active.<br />

700mg of calcium is the amount<br />

you need in your diet every day<br />

AVOID<br />

SPINACH<br />

AND<br />

RHUBARB – BOTH<br />

CONTAIN OXALIC<br />

ACID WHICH<br />

REACTS WITH<br />

CALCIUM IN<br />

THE DIGESTIVE<br />

SYSTEM AND<br />

STOPS IT<br />

BEING<br />

ABSORBED”<br />

DID YOU<br />

KNOW?<br />

1 in 2 women<br />

over 50 will break a<br />

bone as a result of<br />

osteoporosis<br />

Walking and Tai Chi are ideal activities.<br />

Avoid workouts that put stress on your<br />

bones – these include high-impact activities<br />

such as running or aerobics. Avoid jarring<br />

or twisting your body, lots of bending and<br />

abrupt or sudden movements.<br />

YOURS n EVERY FORTNIGHT<br />

43


{<br />

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥<br />

Inspiring<br />

YOU<br />

craft<br />

PIMP UP<br />

YOUR<br />

POTS!<br />

If terracotta<br />

plant pots don’t<br />

match the colour<br />

scheme in your<br />

kitchen, give<br />

them a makeover<br />

with decoupage.<br />

Simply find some<br />

pretty patterned<br />

paper or tissue<br />

paper of your<br />

choice and cut<br />

into squares,<br />

about 4cm<br />

(1½in)sq. Glue<br />

the paper squares<br />

onto your pot<br />

using decoupage<br />

glue. It doesn’t<br />

have to be neat<br />

but the squares<br />

need to overlap.<br />

Once you’ve<br />

covered the<br />

whole surface of<br />

the pot, carefully<br />

brush over<br />

with a layer of<br />

decoupage glue<br />

and leave to dry.<br />

Add a pretty<br />

plant and place<br />

on your kitchen<br />

windowsill.<br />

{<br />

+ +<br />

easy crafting tasty recipes genius ideas<br />

Teapot herb planters<br />

Give old ceramic teapots and jugs a<br />

whole new lease of life!<br />

Time: 10 mins Skill level: Beginner<br />

MATERIALS<br />

Old or unwanted jugs or teapots<br />

Gravel or small stones<br />

Compost<br />

Herbs such as rosemary, thyme,<br />

mint or basil<br />

1 To begin, you need to make sufficient<br />

drainage for the herbs so fill the base<br />

of the teapots with a fairly thick layer of<br />

stones or gravel.<br />

2 Next add the compost then carefully<br />

place the herbs inside the pot.<br />

3 Pack your pot with soil. This can be<br />

quite messy so use a paintbrush to<br />

remove any excess from the pot. Water<br />

regularly and remove any excess<br />

water by carefully pouring it out from<br />

the spout.<br />

{<br />

7 easy projects to<br />

Spruce up<br />

your kitchen<br />

Vintage<br />

chalkboard<br />

Turn an old tray into a<br />

practical noticeboard<br />

Time: 30 mins (plus drying<br />

time) Skill level: Beginner<br />

MATERIALS<br />

Coarse steel wool<br />

Decorative old metal<br />

serving tray<br />

Latex primer<br />

Latex chalkboard paint<br />

1 Rub coarse steel wool over<br />

the flat surface of the tray.<br />

2 Prime the metal with a latex<br />

primer made for galvanised<br />

surfaces (ordinary primer will<br />

just flake off).<br />

3 After the primer dries, lightly<br />

sand the surface.<br />

4 Wipe off any dust and apply<br />

a coat of the latex chalkboard<br />

paint and allow to dry.<br />

5 To mount, either hang one<br />

of the handles onto a nail or<br />

attach a picture hanger to the<br />

back of the tray.<br />

fun to make<br />

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥<br />

TRY USING OLD<br />

TEACUPS OR<br />

BOWLS FOR<br />

PLANTING<br />

SMALLER HERBS<br />

OR SEEDLINGS<br />

Pom-pom pot stand<br />

Rest your hot pots and pans on this pretty<br />

and protective mat<br />

Time: 3-4 hours Skill level: Beginner<br />

MATERIALS<br />

An assortment of differently coloured wools<br />

7cm (3in) pom-pom maker<br />

A 26cm (10in) diameter circle of anti-slip<br />

rug canvas<br />

Darning needle<br />

1 Make your first pom-pom by following the<br />

instructions on the packet. Try to make them<br />

as thick as possible, using as much wool<br />

as you can.<br />

2 Once you have tied your pom-pom in the<br />

middle with a length of wool, leave the<br />

ends long.<br />

3 Continue to make enough pom-poms to<br />

fill the rug canvas.<br />

4 Once you think you have enough, it’s time<br />

to attach them to the rug canvas. Take one<br />

pom-pom and thread one of the lengths<br />

of wool onto the darning needle. Pull this<br />

through the rug canvas in the position you<br />

want it to be. Then do the same with the<br />

Tie-dye tea towel<br />

Give your kitchen a cool coastal feel<br />

with these bright blue tea towels<br />

Time: 30 mins (plus drying time)<br />

Skill level: Beginner<br />

MATERIALS<br />

Plain white cotton tea towels<br />

Blue fabric dye<br />

Plastic basin<br />

Rubber bands<br />

Rubber gloves<br />

1 Iron your tea towels first to get<br />

rid of any creases.<br />

2 To make the circular ring<br />

patterns, make small pinches in<br />

the fabric of the tea towel and<br />

other wool length.<br />

5 Tie the two pieces of threaded wool together in a<br />

knot to secure and trim. Continue to do the same with<br />

all your pom-poms, working in circles until the canvas<br />

is completely filled.<br />

secure them with rubber bands.<br />

To make bigger rings, secure larger<br />

amounts of the fabric with the<br />

elastic bands.<br />

3 Follow the instructions on<br />

your fabric dye and prepare it<br />

in the plastic basin. Once ready,<br />

submerge the tea towels and<br />

leave them in the dye for the<br />

recommended amount of time.<br />

If you want to create a paler colour,<br />

take them out sooner.<br />

4 Follow the drying instructions<br />

but be sure to keep the bands<br />

secure until the towel is<br />

completely dry.<br />

5 Once dry, give them another iron<br />

to remove the crinkles and they’re<br />

ready to use!<br />

Tip: To make a striped pattern, roll the tea towel<br />

into a tube shape and wrap the bands about 5cm (2in)<br />

apart, all the way along<br />

PICS: BAUER, DECOUPAGE PLANT POTS, © LOUPE IMAGES/HOLLY JOLIFFE,<br />

KNITTED POT HOLDER, T© LOUPE IMAGES/CAROLINE ARBER<br />

98 YOURS n EVERY FORTNIGHT<br />

YOURS n EVERY FORTNIGHT 99


DAYS<br />

Dressed up or dressed down,<br />

denim is an easy-to-wear<br />

wardrobe staple, says<br />

Fashion Editor<br />

Michelle Nightingale<br />

THE SKIRT<br />

Team with a jumper, tights<br />

and boots in winter, or with<br />

a pretty top and wedges<br />

in summer – a trusty denim<br />

skirt will last years. For<br />

the most flattering fit<br />

look for A-line styles<br />

that fall to the knee.<br />

Kerry wears: Jumper,<br />

£12.50, 8-24, M&S |<br />

skirt, £26, 8-22, M&Co |<br />

necklace, £12, M&Co<br />

fashion edit<br />

The jacket<br />

For a smart choice, opt<br />

for a blazer-style denim<br />

jacket or a sleeveless<br />

number like this one. Or,<br />

go for a casual yet classic<br />

denim jacket and wear<br />

over a pretty floral dress<br />

for a look that will see you<br />

through the year.<br />

Selina wears: Sleeveless<br />

jacket, £100, 8-20, Laura<br />

Ashley | top, £35, 6-22, Next<br />

| trouser, £30, 8-20, Wallis<br />

THE SHIRT<br />

We love a denim or chambray<br />

shirt and this one proves that<br />

you can be smart and elegant in<br />

denim. Ruffles are also a big style<br />

statement this year so this blouse<br />

ticks all the boxes!<br />

Kerry wears: Blouse, £60, 8-18,<br />

Laura Ashley | jeans, £15, 8-22,<br />

Peacocks<br />

The jeans<br />

Bootcut styles work perfectly<br />

for any occasion and the fit<br />

is flattering and slimming.<br />

When you try them on, wear<br />

your shoes to check the<br />

length’s OK.<br />

Selina wears: Top,<br />

£10, 8-22, George<br />

at Asda | jeans,<br />

£20, 8-22, M&Co<br />

| wedges, £14,<br />

3-8, Matalan<br />

THE<br />

DRESS<br />

Another versatile<br />

wardrobe staple that<br />

can be worn all year<br />

round. Play around<br />

with different shades<br />

of denim and different<br />

sleeve lengths, but<br />

for a slimming fit go<br />

for a belted style that<br />

finishes at the knee.<br />

Selina wears: Shirt<br />

dress, £20, 8-20,<br />

Matalan<br />

❤<br />

FASHION EDITOR<br />

LO VES<br />

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30 YOURS n EVERY FORTNIGHT<br />

YOURS n EVERY FORTNIGHT<br />

31


GOOD to KNOW<br />

MEET<br />

OUR<br />

EXPERTS<br />

Elizabeth<br />

Kuhnke is a<br />

communications<br />

skills specialist<br />

and bestselling<br />

author,<br />

www.kuhnke<br />

communication.<br />

com<br />

Deborah<br />

McPhilemy is<br />

a relationship<br />

empowerment<br />

coach and author<br />

72<br />

YOURS n EVERY FORTNIGHT<br />

5 STEPS FOR DEALING WITH<br />

Difficult<br />

conversations<br />

How to raise tricky issues with loved ones By Lizzy Dening<br />

Tricky conversations are a<br />

natural part of life. It can be<br />

tempting to put off awkward<br />

chats – whether it’s mentioning<br />

to an elderly parent that they<br />

might need some form of care, or telling<br />

grown-up children that you’re getting a<br />

divorce. But it’s so important to be honest<br />

and open with our loved ones and also to<br />

realise that there will never be a perfect<br />

time to raise an issue.<br />

It’s common to leave things unsaid<br />

because we’re worried about upsetting our<br />

family or friends, but getting things out in<br />

the open can make everyone feel better –<br />

and for all you know, they may have been<br />

worrying about it, too.<br />

“Talking to family and friends about<br />

potential ‘what ifs…’ before a crisis<br />

happens will help ensure their wishes are<br />

acknowledged and ensure safeguards can<br />

be put in place,” says Elizabeth Kuhnke, a<br />

communications skills specialist and bestselling<br />

author.<br />

Whatever the topic you need to broach,<br />

there are five general steps that can help.<br />

‘Getting<br />

things out<br />

in the open<br />

can make<br />

everyone<br />

feel better<br />

– they may<br />

have been<br />

worrying<br />

about it, too’<br />

Plan ahead<br />

1 It might help to<br />

reframe the moment in<br />

your mind beforehand as<br />

a positive one. “Approach<br />

the conversation as though<br />

it is a gift,” says Elizabeth.<br />

“You are concerned about<br />

the welfare and well-being<br />

of your loved one, and you<br />

want to come up with the<br />

best solution for everyone<br />

involved.”<br />

Be clear in advance<br />

what you’d like to say –<br />

you can even practice it<br />

out loud before you go.<br />

Then set up a meeting<br />

somewhere private<br />

and comfortable and,<br />

assuming you’re both calm<br />

and relaxed, you can raise<br />

the topic. “Start with a nice<br />

chat, then open with:<br />

‘I’d like to talk to you about<br />

something important,<br />

is that OK?’,” says<br />

Deborah McPhilemy, a relationship<br />

empowerment coach and author.<br />

“Think about how what you’re saying<br />

will affect them. You might want to<br />

add. ‘This may be hard for you to<br />

hear’, or ‘this is difficult for me to<br />

talk about’, to demonstrate that you<br />

understand their feelings and that it’s<br />

a sensitive topic for you both.”<br />

Offer options<br />

2 and give examples<br />

The most important thing is to make<br />

it feel like a two-way discussion,<br />

rather than a lecture. Ask what your<br />

loved one wants and offer choices<br />

when possible.<br />

“Be clear and concise,” says<br />

Elizabeth, “and if it’s appropriate to<br />

the conversation, give examples.<br />

If, for example, you’re worried that<br />

the time has come for your parents<br />

to stop driving, you could back up<br />

your concern with proof, ‘Dad, when<br />

you were driving this morning, I<br />

noticed that you ran through a red<br />

light’. Explain the situation in a<br />

straightforward, factual way.”<br />

Listen carefully<br />

3 “Allow your friend<br />

or relative to express<br />

how they feel and try to<br />

listen without becoming<br />

defensive, although this<br />

can be a challenge!” says<br />

Deborah. “Once they’ve<br />

said their piece, reassure<br />

and comfort them. You<br />

could say, ‘I wish this didn’t<br />

have to happen and things<br />

could be different. But let’s<br />

try to make the best of a<br />

bad situation.’ A hug goes<br />

a long way too.” Check<br />

your body language to<br />

make sure you don’t seem<br />

defensive or hostile. Try to<br />

look relaxed yet attentive,<br />

keeping eye contact and<br />

nodding and smiling<br />

where appropriate.<br />

Dealing with<br />

4 their emotions<br />

Sensitive topics often prompt strong<br />

reactions, so you might need to steel<br />

yourself for an outburst. “Emotion is<br />

just energy being released, so don’t<br />

be fearful of it, or get caught up in it,”<br />

‘The most important thing<br />

is to make it feel like a<br />

two-way discusssion’<br />

says Deborah. “If your loved one reacts<br />

emotionally, just allow it to happen. Let<br />

them feel what they need to feel and<br />

then validate it. For example: ‘I see you<br />

are upset,’ or ‘you seem very sad.’<br />

“Whatever you do, never say: ‘I<br />

5 Consider<br />

the outcome<br />

If your loved one refuses<br />

to talk, ask if there’s<br />

someone they might<br />

prefer to talk to instead,<br />

such as another friend or<br />

relative, or a professional<br />

counsellor or doctor,<br />

depending on the issue.<br />

As nice as it would be<br />

“If having<br />

a face-to-face<br />

conversation fills<br />

you with dread...<br />

...write a note to the person instead,” says<br />

Elizabeth. “When writing you can choose<br />

your words without getting thrown<br />

off course by emotional reactions.<br />

Plus it gives them time to process<br />

what you’ve said and decide<br />

on their reply.”<br />

understand how you feel.’ Even if<br />

you’ve been through the exact same<br />

situation, no two people feel exactly<br />

the same and you might make them<br />

feel alienated. Instead consider, ‘I can<br />

only imagine how angry/sad/frustrated<br />

this makes you feel’ and then you<br />

could tell a similar story from your own<br />

experience if need be.”<br />

to wrap everything up<br />

with one chat, you may<br />

need to leave some issues<br />

unresolved for a time.<br />

“Some people take longer<br />

than others to process<br />

information so before you<br />

leave, reassure them that<br />

you are there for them,<br />

you love them and that<br />

if they want to talk more<br />

about it you’re available.”<br />

It’s more than possible<br />

that, despite your best<br />

efforts, you don’t get<br />

the end results you were<br />

hoping for. “Don’t think of<br />

this opportunity as<br />

‘The Conversation’ but<br />

rather as an ongoing<br />

series of conversations,”<br />

says Elizabeth.<br />

PICS: MASTERFILE, SHUTTERSTOCK


‘The<br />

animals<br />

are the<br />

real<br />

stars!’<br />

Actress Keeley Hawes chats about the new series of<br />

The Durrells, just started on ITV, and why the<br />

Corfu-living clan remind her of her own family<br />

By Alison James<br />

It may boast a cast<br />

of supremely<br />

talented actors<br />

and be set on the<br />

beautiful Greek<br />

island of Corfu but as<br />

ITV’s The Durrells is<br />

an adaptation of the<br />

late Gerald Durrell’s<br />

memoir, My Family<br />

and Other Animals, it’s<br />

only fitting that it’s the<br />

animals taking centre<br />

stage in series two.<br />

“People love the<br />

animals,” says Keeley<br />

Hawes who plays mother-<br />

of-four Louisa Durrell.<br />

“There is one scene in this<br />

series where I had to take<br />

a puppy off young Gerry<br />

and for the rest of the scene<br />

I’m holding it. There was<br />

a discussion because the<br />

director said, “Nobody’s<br />

going to listen to anything<br />

you’re saying,” and I knew<br />

that! Even with the other<br />

cast, if there’s a scene and<br />

someone else is holding a<br />

cute puppy, or hedgehog,<br />

or any animal, no one is<br />

looking at you. This show is<br />

not about the actors; we’re<br />

way down the list, and that’s<br />

quite good!”<br />

Animals are hardly the<br />

most co-operative of<br />

co-stars, though? “It is<br />

difficult, but it’s always<br />

funny,” Keeley goes on.<br />

“In this series we have<br />

an episode where it rains<br />

endlessly, so Gerry wants to<br />

bring the animals into the<br />

house because he thinks<br />

they look depressed. So<br />

we have the donkey and<br />

the pelicans in the house,<br />

hedgehogs, the dog, goats<br />

and a chicken. . . When you<br />

read it in the script, you<br />

think, ‘That’s going to look<br />

fantastic’ but filming it isn’t<br />

easy – ten hours later we’re<br />

still filming! Then I was<br />

filming a scene with lots<br />

of dialogue and my hands<br />

were on the table. A chicken<br />

decided to come over and<br />

just sit on my hands! You<br />

just have to carry on and act<br />

like you are used to having<br />

chickens sitting on your<br />

hands while you’re talking<br />

to people!<br />

“You can train an animal<br />

as much as you like, but<br />

you can’t train it to tell you<br />

when it needs the bathroom,<br />

so there’s lots of dustpans<br />

and brushes and it’s a rather<br />

smelly set!<br />

“The animals are such a<br />

massive part of the series,<br />

though, and this time the<br />

quota has gone through the<br />

roof. Last series there were<br />

barely any in comparison but<br />

Inset, clockwise from above: Louisa (Keeley)<br />

with Leslie (Callum Woodhouse) and a donkey<br />

friend; Keeley with husband, actor Matthew<br />

Mcfadyen; with her on-screen family, Josh<br />

O’Connor, Daisy Waterstone and Milo Parker<br />

this series is full of them.’”<br />

Does Keeley (41) have a<br />

favourite creature? “I liked<br />

the hedgehog,” she smiles.<br />

“That was really cute and<br />

very sweet. I’ve never really<br />

seen a hedgehog up close<br />

like that before. The pelicans<br />

are beautiful, too. Last year<br />

they were babies but they’re<br />

fully-grown now. They are<br />

called Peli-can and Peli-can’t!<br />

I have more to do with them<br />

this time – at one point I had<br />

to take one for a walk on<br />

a lead. I also have a oneway<br />

conversation with the<br />

seagull called Steven Seagal<br />

plus we have magpies who<br />

have a starring role, canaries<br />

and a falcon.”<br />

Animals apart, we get the<br />

impression that love may be<br />

in the air for Louisa – with<br />

charming new Englishman<br />

Hugh, perhaps?<br />

“Louisa is still slightly<br />

heartbroken after her<br />

doomed relationship with<br />

Swedish goat herder Sven<br />

from the last series, but there<br />

is an attraction between<br />

her and Hugh, who has<br />

Greek grandparents and<br />

who owns an olive oil press<br />

in Corfu,” Keeley replies.<br />

“Anyway, Louisa and Hugh<br />

try to make some money.<br />

‘I was filming a<br />

scene and my hands<br />

were on the table<br />

when a chicken just<br />

decided to come<br />

over and sit on them’<br />

They go to market and that<br />

ends in disaster! They try to<br />

introduce Corfu to Spotted<br />

Dick, Toad in the Hole and<br />

Scotch Eggs – nobody gets<br />

it! In series one, the Durrells<br />

were discovering and<br />

exploring and getting used to<br />

life on Corfu but now they’re<br />

trying to make life work for<br />

them.”<br />

Keeley, who’s married to<br />

actor Matthew Mcfadyen,<br />

says she thinks the series<br />

is so popular because<br />

star chat<br />

– in addition to<br />

the animals and<br />

stunning setting - it<br />

reflects family life.<br />

“You see people<br />

having stand up<br />

rows and running<br />

away from home, or<br />

whatever they are<br />

doing. It’s all very<br />

real. It’s so close to<br />

real life sometimes<br />

that it makes me<br />

laugh out loud<br />

when I read it – and<br />

definitely reminds<br />

me of my own<br />

family. Our brilliant<br />

writer, Simon Nye,<br />

has four children and you<br />

can tell. It’s written in a way<br />

that children and adults<br />

can respond to. It’s a period<br />

drama and the attention to<br />

detail is extraordinary but, at<br />

the same time, it’s not a roddown-your-back<br />

costume<br />

drama where everyone is<br />

behaving impeccably all the<br />

time. It’s real life.”<br />

For Keeley, an added<br />

bonus to starring in The<br />

Durrells, which has already<br />

been commissioned for a<br />

third series, is that her four<br />

screen children and the<br />

three she has in real life have<br />

become close.<br />

“My family came out<br />

while we were filming in<br />

Corfu and they were very<br />

impressed by my Durrell<br />

family,” she reveals. “They<br />

think they are very cool<br />

while my on-screen family<br />

are very kind and generous<br />

with my own family. They<br />

all get on very well. We all<br />

go out for dinner and things.<br />

It’s really, really good.”<br />

As is series two of The<br />

Durrells!<br />

n The Durrells is on Sunday<br />

evenings on ITV. If you missed<br />

the first episode you can catch<br />

up on the ITV hub at ITV.com<br />

14 YOURS n EVERY FORTNIGHT<br />

YOURS n EVERY FORTNIGHT 15<br />

PICS: ITV, CAMERA PRESS, REX/SHUTTERSTOCK, GETTY IMAGES

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