The Last Lecture

The Last Lecture
Jai has gotten to know people locally who are also caregivers of
spouses with terminal illnesses, and she finds it helpful to talk to them.
If she needs to complain about me, or to vent about the pressure she’s
under, these conversations have been a good outlet for her.
At the same time, she tries to focus on our happiest times. When I
was courting her, I sent her flowers once a week. I hung stuffed animals
in her office. I went overboard, and—when I wasn’t scaring her off—she
enjoyed it! Lately, she says, she’d been pulling up her memories of Randy
the Romantic, and that makes her smile and helps her get through her
down moments.
Jai, by the way, has lived out a good number of her childhood
dreams. She wanted to own a horse. (That never happened, but she has
done a lot of riding.) She wanted to go to France. (That happened; she
lived in France one summer in college.) And most of all, she dreamed as
a girl of having children of her own someday.
I wish I had more time to help her realize other dreams. But the
kids are a spectacular dream fulfilled, and there’s great solace in that
for both of us.
When Jai and I talk about the lessons she has learned from our
journey, she talks about how we’ve found strength in standing
together, shoulder to shoulder. She says she’s grateful that we can
talk, heart to heart. And then she tells me about how my clothes are
all over the room and it’s very annoying, but she’s giving me a pass,
all things considered. I know: Before she starts scribbling in her
journal, I owe it to her to straighten up my mess. I’ll try harder. It’s
one of my New Year’s resolutions.
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