The Last Lecture

The Last Lecture
priority.
I’ve also reminded her that she’s going to make mistakes, and to
just accept that. If I were able to live, we’d be making those mistakes
together. Mistakes are part of the process of parenting, and she
shouldn’t attribute them all to the fact that she’ll be raising the kids
herself.
Some single parents fall into the trap of trying to compensate
by giving the kids material things. Jai knows: No material
possessions can make up for a missing parent, and they can actually
do harm in establishing a kid’s values.
It’s possible that Jai, like many parents, will find the most
challenging years to be when the kids become teenagers. Having been
around students all my life, I’d like to think I would come into my own
as a father of teens. I’d be tough, but I’d understand the mind-set. So
I’m sorry I won’t be there to help Jai when the time comes.
The good news, though, is that other people—friends and family—
will also want to help, and Jai plans to let them. All children need a
fabric of people in their lives who love them, and that’s especially true
for kids who’ve lost a parent. I think back to my own parents. They
knew they couldn’t be the only crucial influences in my life. That’s
why my dad signed me up to play football with Jim Graham. Jai will be
on the lookout for some Coach Grahams for our kids.
As for the obvious question, well, here’s my answer:
Most of all, I want Jai to be happy in the years ahead. So if she
finds happiness through remarriage, that will be great. If she finds
happiness without remarrying, that also will be great.
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