The Last Lecture

The Last Lecture
I have a direct answer for that.
It can be a very disruptive thing for parents to have specific dreams
for their kids. As a professor, I’ve seen many unhappy college freshman
picking majors that are all wrong for them. Their parents have put them
on a train, and too often, judging by the crying during my office hours,
the result is a train wreck.
As I see it, a parent’s job is to encourage kids to develop a joy for
life and a great urge to follow their own dreams. The best we can do is
to help them develop a personal set of tools for the task.
So my dreams for my kids are very exact: I want them to find their
own path to fulfillment. And given that I won’t be there, I want to make
this clear: Kids, don’t try to figure out what I wanted you to become. I
want you to become what you want to become.
Having seen so many students go through my classrooms, I’ve come
to know that a lot of parents don’t realize the power of their words.
Depending on a child’s age and sense of self, an offhand comment from
Mom or Dad can feel like a shove from a bulldozer. I’m not even sure I
should have made the reference to Logan growing up to be social chair of
a fraternity. I don’t want him to end up in college thinking that I
expected him to join a fraternity, or to be a leader there—or anything. His
life will be his life. I would just urge my kids to find their way with
enthusiasm and passion. And I want them to feel as if I am there with
them, whatever path they choose.
[214]