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“This woman, her name was Deenie. I don’t remember much else about her, but I remember that. I
put on my clothes and left, but first I took her money. And it turned out she had at least one thing I
didn’t, after all, because while I was going through her wallet, I looked around and her son was
standing there. Little kid still in diapers. This woman and I had bought some coke the night before,
and it was still on the table. He saw it and reached for it. He thought it was candy.”
Dan wiped his eyes again.
“I took it away and put it where he couldn’t get it. That much I did. It wasn’t enough, but that
much I did. Then I put her money in my pocket and walked out of there. I’d do anything to take that
back. But I can’t.”
The women in the doorway had gone back to the kitchen. Some people were looking at their
watches. A stomach grumbled. Looking at the assembled nine dozen alkies, Dan realized an
astounding thing: what he’d done didn’t revolt them. It didn’t even surprise them. They had heard
worse. Some had done worse.
“Okay,” he said. “That’s it. Thanks for listening.”
Before the applause, one of the oldtimers in the back row shouted out the traditional question:
“How’d you do it, Doc?”
Dan smiled and gave the traditional answer. “One day at a time.”
2
After the Our Father, and the pizza, and the chocolate cake with the big number XV on it, Dan helped
Casey back to his Tundra. A sleety rain had begun to fall.
“Spring in New Hampshire,” Casey said sourly. “Ain’t it wonderful.”
“Raineth drop and staineth slop,” Dan said in a declamatory voice, “and how the wind doth ram!
Skiddeth bus and sloppest us, damn you, sing goddam.”
Casey stared at him. “Did you just make that up?”
“Nah. Ezra Pound. When are you going to quit dicking around and get that hip replaced?”
Casey grinned. “Next month. I decided that if you can tell your biggest secret, I can get my hip
replaced.” He paused. “Not that your secret was all that fucking big, Danno.”
“So I discovered. I thought they’d run from me, screaming. Instead, they stood around eating pizza
and talking about the weather.”
“If you’d told em you killed a blind gramma, they’d have stayed to eat the pizza and cake. Free is
free.” He opened the driver’s door. “Boost me, Danno.”
Dan boosted him.
Casey wriggled ponderously, getting comfortable, then keyed the engine and got the wipers to
work on the sleet. “Everything’s smaller when it’s out,” he said. “I hope you’ll pass that on to your
pigeons.”
“Yes, O Wise One.”
Casey looked at him sadly. “Go fuck yourself, sweetheart.”
“Actually,” Danny said, “I think I’ll go back in and help put away the chairs.”
And that was what he did.