Weekend-5-13

Not even a basic idea
However, there are a small but
growing number of people working
to dispel myths and boot the taboos
that surround a wide range of issues,
including the stigma on talking about
sex. One of these initiatives is Maya
Apa, a virtual platform that anyone can
access anonymously and ask questions
on issues that affect our daily lives,
including health, psychosocial and legal
matters.
A cursory glance at some of the
questions received in the app provide
us with an idea of just how little people
in Bangladesh know on sexual matters,
including sexual health. Ranging from
ludicrous to downright alarming, this
article contains only a sampling of a few
of the most talked about issues.
• I want to have children but I
don’t know how many times
you have to try, or how much
sperm has to come out for it to
happen. Can you help me?
• Does masturbating cause
physical harm? Can it stop me
from gaining weight or growing
taller?
• If I don’t cum after
masturbating for a bit, can
that cum stay in my body and
poison me?
• Sex is extremely painful for me.
My husband thinks it is because
I do not have a big enough
opening. How do I solve this?
These may seem like the most basic
questions about sex to many, but the
truth of the matter is, too many people in
the country just do not know. The stigma
around talking about sex means they are
not even able to talk to their doctors or
families about it, meaning people suffer
from sexual health problems all the time,
with no recourse to any kind of solution.
Meanwhile, the taboo around sexual
needs and the shame that is so intrinsically
attached to it mean that there people who,
in this day and age, think their bodily fluids
can actually poison them.
Practising safe sex
Looking into questions asked through Maya
Apa also prove one thing – there are plenty
of people out there having sex, unmarried
or not, with little to no idea on how to
prevent pregnancies, and save themselves
from sexually transmitted diseases. In fact,
the shame surrounding sexual activity
means young people out there end up using
emergency pills on a regular basis instead
of using proper methods of contraception,
which can have negative impacts on your
body, such as fatigue, nausea, irregular
bleeding, and in the case of some of the
more dodgy pills, maybe even infertility.
Crossing a line
Once you delve deeper into the censored
world of sex in Bangladesh, you also realise
there are grave issues at hand that are
not being addressed at all. While the first
question here is only one example, there are
plenty of such cases that prove that people
are having under-age sex. This constitutes as
rape and is a criminal offence – something
that a large portion of the population are
not aware of, and even if they are, do not
take seriously at all.
• How do I use a condom?
• I am 25 years old, and my period
is very irregular. If my period
doesn’t happen within 28 days, can
I have unprotected sex and not get
pregnant?
• I want to have sex the natural way,
without any protection. When can
I do this to make sure there is no
pregnancy?
• Over the last month, I have had
sex 5-6 times, and have had the
morning after pill every time, but
I still haven’t had my period. Does
that mean I am pregnant?
• We only touched each other and
didn’t have full penetration, but I
came a little. Can my girlfriend still
get pregnant?
• I am 18 years old. My family fixed
a girl for me to marry when I was
a child. We like each other, but I
want us to live together first. She
is 14 years old. Is there anything
wrong with that? Please tell me.
• I am an unmarried man and I am
addicted to porn. How can I get
myself out of this?
• My wife did not bleed when we
first had sex. Does that mean she
is not a virgin?
But it is not only sex with minors that comes up on the Maya Apa platform, but other grave
issues, such as porn and drug addiction, that people are unable to talk about without being
ostracised.
And the final question displays everything that is wrong with the silence surrounding such
issues. Women in our country are forced to wear their virginities like a badge of honour and
questions such as these only show the proliferation of a culture that values modesty over
consent. You may consider such things to be too ‘modern’ and ‘indecent’, but until we are
able to reduce this stigma, we cannot build a society where people are free to talk about their
issues without shame, whether it be about sexual violence, sexual health or safe sex. •
WEEKEND TRIBUNE | FRIDAY, JULY 21, 2017 13