CCChat_2

Many a time, I have had to schedule a phone
call for the early hours, the middle of the
night to account for time differences. It may
be night time here but elsewhere in the world
it is still a working day.
It is fair to say that I am the last port of call,
the end of the road for many. If they could
visit counsellors, therapists, lawyers, support
services, online fora etc, they would. I spend
significant time signposting, calling on a
network of trusted professionals to guide me
if I'm completely clueless, forever asking
questions that I am so grateful they reply to.
Without them, what I do would not be
possible and it leaves vulnerable people at
risk of being exploited, likely online, at risk
of being sucked in by the permanently and
steadfastly embittered who are unable to
look beyond their suffering to see that there
is hope, there is always hope.
It's not all doom and gloom though, not all
picking up the pieces. Much of what I do is
practical. Coping mechanisms, silly jokes,
distraction techniques, breathing exercises.
Anything to lessen the trauma, the distress,
the fear.
To be able to do this and still be able to feed
my children, pay the bills, I charge my time
out at £1 an hour. Yes. One pound. It's not a
misprint. I don't charge the person calling
me, of course not.
I charge my time out at £1.00 per hour and
claim it back from any conferences and talks.
I need to be clear on this. I do NOT charge
for my time organising the conferences, the
talks, putting together CCChat. I charge my
time for the many hours of talking to those
who call for help - because that is EXACTLY
what it is - A call for help.
“ They have come to me purely because all avenues
have been exhausted, they have nowhere left to go.”
It's impossible to turn someone away
knowing they have come to me purely
because all avenues have been exhausted,
they have nowhere left to go or there was
never anything there for them where they
live and I, unqualified though I am, am
better than nothing. T
hat is a harsh fact to digest and one that gives
me the drive and focus to carry on doing
what I do but I really wish this wasn't the
case. I really wish they had more than me to
fall back on.
It means huge sacrifices need to be made
because I refuse to give up but realistically, I
don't know how long I can sustain living on a
pittance. I do this because a few years ago,
that was me. Desperately looking for
someone to talk to, someone who
understood. Someone who could talk me
through it or distract me from it. I would
have loved to have had somone like me to
talk to, when it was at its worst. To be
reassured that things will change, it will get
better..
I am immensely lucky and grateful that
most of the speakers at the conferences I
have organised have done so for free.
Without them I would not be able to carry
on the main part of what I do and I can
not thank them enough.
Why do I feel the need to justify myself?
Recently I have encountered some
unpleasantness on what I do and how I
do it. Various attacks have included:
being a fraud, getting rich off the backs of
victims, exploiting the abused, attention
seeking, being a manipulative empire
builder, misusing data. I even made
someone pay for their lunch in a story
that was wildly distorted.
If the stories of *getting rich off the backs
of victims and the taxpayer* were true - at
£1/hr, it's going to take quite some time
to rake in zillions I am apparently only
interested in. I may not live to see it....
Building an Empire