Viva Brighton Issue #60 February 2018

COMEDY
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Ed Byrne
‘I’m now complaining about people complaining’
Photo by Roslyn Gaunt
What’s the new show about? The show is
called Spoiler Alert and it’s about how spoilt
we are as people, as consumers. And how I’m
contributing to that by the fact I have two small
boys who I am currently in the process of spoiling
the shit out of.
In what ways are we spoilt? I’ve owned four
cars in the last ten years. Not fancy cars, not
Ferraris, yet every single one you started not by
turning a key, but by pressing a button. Who
decided that was a drudgery we needed to be released
from? Who decided we’re too important
to turn keys now? I have to turn a key? Like a
f**king savage?
Does your kids’ upbringing differ much
from your own? Fairly, yes. There’s a marked
difference between being a parent in the 70s and
being a parent today. One of the reminiscences
I pull out is about sitting in the car drinking
lemonade and eating crisps while my parents are
in the pub, which seems utterly
alien now. And my dad was not a
bad dad, by any stretch of the
imagination. But when I look at
the amount of parenting I’m expected
to do, I feel a little short
changed if I’m honest.
So is it a good or
bad thing? It’s a
little of both. If I
wanted to bounce on
a trampoline when
I was a kid I had to
go to an amusement
park and queue up.
My kids have their
own trampoline, in
their back garden.
And it’s bigger than
my first flat. And even
then they’ll lie on it and go: “Daddy, bounce us!”
That’s the level of spoilt I’m talking about.
Is there a flipside to all this? As consumers we
demand quite a lot. I want my semi-skimmed
milk! I want my push-button start! But when it
comes to politics, we aren’t quite spoilt enough.
People have a tendency to shrug and just accept
the way things are when it comes to big stuff,
and then complain and whine about little stuff.
I say this as a man who has basically made his
living out of complaining and whining about
little stuff for 24 years.
Do you plan to continue in that vein? Haha,
it’s a dirty job but someone’s got to do it! Having
spent my life complaining about the little things,
about losing my luggage, about not
understanding my wife’s point
in an argument, whatever it
may be, I’m now complaining
about people complaining.
Let’s talk chainsaws...
Every time I do another
show my manager says we
need to get some more
photographs done. Yep,
yep, very important
that people know
much I’ve aged in
the last two years.
We definitely need
to remind everyone
that I still have a face!
They told me to bring
clothes, and I thought you know
what? Just for the fun of it I brought my
chainsaw along. It’s not relevant to the
show, I just thought it was an eye-catching
image. A tuxedo and a chainsaw. A
strong look. Interview by Ben Bailey
Theatre Royal, Thur 15th Feb, £28.15