BusinessDay 06 April 2018

BUSINESS DAY
Workplace Palaver
Friday 06 April 2018
WOMEN’S HUB
Who will settle Lola and Peter’s ‘beef’?
KEMI AJUMOBI
Lola Johnson and Peter
Bankole are colleagues at
work. When Lola resumed
work, she kicked off on a high
note, meeting her targets and easing
off stress from her superiors.
In less than four years, she had
risen to the position of an Assistant
Manager. She met Peter
who had been on the level of a
supervisor and just got promoted
to become an Assistant Manager
too. Yes he was happy about the
promotion but he did not like the
fact that Lola became an Assistant
Manager before him, not to talk of
being on the same level with him.
Few of his colleagues were
aware of the ‘beef’ but Lola paid
no attention to it. For her, it was
more about her work and delivery
on expected duties. She had
no time for hearsay or gossips.
Interestingly, their bosses were
not aware of their ‘beef’. Whenever
they were both given tasks,
they executed it well and as long
as their bosses, (especially their
immediate boss they reported
to) were concerned, everything
was ok.
One day, their immediate boss
gave both of them a task and insisted
they carried it out together
“Lola and Peter, I believe this will
be done efficiently because I trust
both of you and you have never
failed me individually, so I know
you won’t fail me collectively. I
expect a positive outcome.” He
told them and as they were about
to leave his office he added “For
the meeting with the client, I suggest
you go together. When you
arrive at work tomorrow, I will
suggest you both go in one car.
The Prado parked at the car park
will be fine. Peter, tell Moshood
to fill up the car’s tank today.
Cheers!” They left his office and
returned to their desks.
The next morning, they came
in their separate cars but when it
was 11am, Moshood parked by
the entrance. Both of them looked
like CEOs. Coincidentally, Lola
wore a black suit jacket, white
shirt and red high-waist, pleated
wide trousers and black shoes
while Peter wore a black suit
Jacket and trousers with a red tie
and red pocket square. It looked
like they planned the combo but
they didn’t.
They both entered the back
seat, speaking professionally;
they discussed who would say
what and how the presentation
would go. When they came to
an agreement, the conversation
ended and they had nothing more
to say to each other.
They arrived at the venue 10
minutes early. They got in, made
the presentation and delivered it
excellently. The people they went
to meet were so impressed that
they sent a message to Lola and
Peter’s boss even before they got
back to work.
By the time they got back and
went into their boss’s office, he
was all smiles “Even before you
tell me how it went, I have been
briefed already. I am so proud of
both of you.” He said. They both
took their time to explain how it
all went and the good news was
that they were given the deal. He
appreciated them and encouraged
them to keep up with their pace of
excellent delivery while inspiring
others.
They left the office, returned
back to their offices and 30 minutes
later, there was a mail sent to
the entire staff saying there would
be an Easter mini party and everyone
was encouraged to bring a
gift for another person.
The time was 5pm and it was
on a Saturday. They all enjoyed
seeing themselves in a relaxed
atmosphere, the ladies looking
beautiful and the men handsome.
They chatted, ate, laughed and
surely enjoyed each other’s company.
Peter had a gift. Guess who
it was for? It was for Lola! Yes!
You read that right, his ‘rival’…
he thought of a way to give her
the gift without causing a scene.
He worried she might embarrass
him but he still went ahead. Coincidentally,
her friend just left her
side. “Uhm, excuse me Ma’am
Lola, can I have some minutes?”
Though amazed, she took a look
at him and said “Are you sure I
am the one you want to talk to?”
she asked sarcastically and he responded
“Well, if there is another
lady in front of me in the stunning
flowery gown and Black Marmont
GG Block-Heel Sandals, perhaps I
might have been confused but alas,
you are the only one standing right
in front of me with the description I
just gave…I must be talking to you
and not someone else” He said.
She shook her head, managed to
squeeze a simper and went with
him. “I see you are quite aware of
female items from your description”
she teased and he said “My
sister has same…I actually bought
it for her. I guess it’s good to pay
attention to details, I wouldn’t have
swept you off your feet that quickly
if I didn’t know with accuracy” he
responded wittingly and she said
“come down your high horse Peter,
you only know that much” and they
both laughed.
When they got to a place, still at
the venue, where he was comfortable
to speak, he asked her to give
her 1 minute. He ran to his car, got
a box and presented it to her. She
opened it and saw a red boxing
glove. “Are we having a real ‘fight’
now?” she asked. She didn’t understand
what it was for, so she continued
“Peter, where is the ring and
who is the referee?”. He laughed and
said there is a zip on the glove, pull
it down”. She pulled down the zip
and brought out two invites for dinner
for two at an exotic restaurant.
“Now that the question I wanted to
ask you is right in front of you, is it
a NO or a Yes?” And she said “Yeah
right, you want me to say NO so you
can quickly grab the boxing glove
and punch my face right?” “No!”
He said and disclosed “I was actually
prepared for the worst is the
reason I put the invites in the glove
so that if you feel so upset at my
gesture, you can give me a punch”
he said. “You are such a clown
Peter. Anyway, see you next week
Saturday as written on the invites”
she retorted. “Please come without
the glove, our insurance policy in
the office as you know, doesn’t
cover punches on the face” he said
and they laughed so hard other colleagues
wondered what was going
on. By this time, Lola had dropped
the glove in the bin and kept her
own ticket in her purse.
Yes they went for dinner and
after then, they became best of
friends at work. No ‘beefs’, no silent
fights and they are doing just fine!.
The Joke’s On Her
The Key to Every Woman’s Heart
A group of girlfriends go on vacation
and see a five-story hotel with a sign
that reads “for women only.” Since
they are without their boyfriends,
they decide to go in.
The doorman, a very attractive guy,
explains to them how it works. “We
have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor,
and once you find what you’re looking
for, you can stay there. It’s easy
to decide, since each floor has signs
telling you what’s on that floor. The
only rule is, once you leave a floor,
you can’t return to it.”
The women talk it over and decide
to go for it.
They start going up, and on the first
floor the sign reads, “All the men
here are horrible lovers, but they are
kind and sensitive.”
The friends laugh and without hesitation
move on to the next floor.
The sign on the second floor reads
“All the men here are wonderful lovers,
but they generally treat women
badly.”
This wasn’t going to do, so again they head
for the stairs.
The friends move up to the third floor
where the sign reads “All the men here are
great lovers and sensitive to the needs of
women.”
This was good but there are still two more
floors so.........
So on to the fourth floor, and this sign
seems perfect. “All the men here have
perfect builds; are sensitive and attentive
to women; are perfect lovers; they are also
single, rich and straight.”
The women are really pleased, but they
decide that they would rather see what the
FIFTH floor has to offer before they settle.
When they reach the fifth floor, there is
only a sign that reads: “There are no men
here. This floor was built only to prove that
there is simply no way to please a woman.”.
A Matter Of Punctuation...
An English professor wrote the
words,
“Woman without her man is
nothing” on the blac kboard
The Car Accident...
A woman and a man are
involved in a car accident,
Both of their cars are totally
demolished but amazingly
neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their
cars, the woman says, “Wow,
just look at our cars! There’s
nothing left but fortunately
we are not hurt. This must
be a sign from God that we
should meet and be really
good friends.”
The man thinking there
might be a bright side to this,
replied, “I agree with you
completely.”
The woman continued, “And
look at this, here’s another
and directed his students to
punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: “Woman,
without her man, is nothing.”
miracle. My car is
completely demolished
but this bottle of wine
didn’t break. Surely we
must drink this wine
and celebrate our good
fortune.”
Then she hands the
bottle to the man. The
man shakes his head in
agreement, opens it and
takes a few very large
swigs from the bottle
and then hands it back
to the woman.
The woman takes the
bottle, immediately
puts the cap back on,
and hands it back to
the man. The man asks,
The women wrote:
“Woman! Without her,
man is nothing.”
“Aren’t you having any?”
The woman replies, “No. I think
I’ll just wait for the police.”