The Spark Magazine (Jun 2018)

www.thesparkng.com
The Spark | Ignite/Connect/Achieve
At The Bridge
Depression is real and like all other illnesses, should not be
kept under wraps but treated.
- By Chisom Martin Ojukwu
110km/h. That’s was the speed I was on that night, on Eko
Bridge. Time was somewhere between 23:30 HRS and
midnight, and I was going from Victoria Island to Surulere –
a daily ritual. You know what else was a ritual? The lateness of the
hour, the tiredness in my bones slowly seeping into my eyelids,
and the heaviness in my heart. I was fatigued, in body and soul. I
worked so hard, every day, at a job I didn’t like. I knew the things I
wanted to do – to write, to speak, to act, to sing, to dance … to be
free. But I couldn’t do those because they weren’t as financially
secure as the 9 to 5. They were not ‘stable’.
Sound familiar?
Somewhere on that stretch, between the CMS by-pass and the
Apongbon tar valley, the twinkling of an oil vessel moored on
the water caught my eye. It was lit up from bow to stern, top
to bottom. The water all around it was serene; a calm liquid
darkness that blended strangely with the ship’s lights. The whole
picture was warm and beautiful, seductive, different from how I
felt on the inside.
That was when it happened. When the thought crossed my mind:
“what if I drive over?”
Suddenly the railings didn’t seem like much of a barrier, the
vastness of the water drew closer and if I reached out, I might
have touched it. I could almost feel the splashes on my face, cool
and soothing. What if…?
Then I snapped out of it. It was a fleeting thought, gone just as
fast as it came. But it had happened.
Sound familiar?
Maybe it wasn’t a bridge and an alluring expanse of water. For
you, it might have been a glittering knife, a bottle of swirling
otapiapia, or the floor from a balcony 8 floors up. According to
the US News & World Report, there are 9.3 million young people,
like you and I, who have been depressed and entertained suicidal
thoughts in the past year. In a research that spanned across
all age groups, one common denominator was found in all
affected people – stress. While I agree that this is nowhere near
exhaustive, it’s good enough to pass, so we can focus, in this
article, on what to do when you find yourself at such a bridge.
What do you do when you’re depressed and having suicidal
thoughts?
First of all … go down low. No seriously, go down low … duck out
of the way of all the stereotypes about depression. Depression is
a curse? Duck. Suicide, even the most fleeting contemplation of
it, is not an African thing? Duck. Strong (wo)men don’t choose to
be depressed? Duck! Let them all fly above your head and land in
the nearest pile of biodegradables. Because they’re balderdash,
that’s why.
“It is a common and serious mood disorder that alters how
individuals think, feel, and behave. The symptoms can include
feelings of hopelessness, rejection, poor concentration, lack
of energy, sleep problems, and sometimes suicidal thoughts.
Depression is not a choice; it is an illness.”
– Psychology Today (2017).
And last time I checked, it was perfectly normal to be ill.
Second thing you could do, having accepted that those thoughts
are merely symptoms of an illness, is do something. Of course,
first choice for me would be to seek professional help. That is,
speak to a psychologist, schedule counselling appointments,
and attend them. Unfortunately many of us would balk at this
option. Because ‘psychia’ is for mad people, and God forbid we
be spotted there; the damage it would do to our reputation!
*shudder*
So there are other options, and they range from the mild – e.g.
go out in the sun, call up friends, do something fun, join an online
support group, attend master classes, pray – to the extreme – e.g.
quit that job you hate, leave that abusive spouse. My personal
favorite however, is making someone else happy. There are
tons of researched data explaining how acts of kindness release
hormones that alleviate depression but perhaps the most
convincing proof is not on any of those sites or study papers. It’s
in your heart. The warm rush you feel when you do something
@thesparkng
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