BeatRoute Magazine AB Edition November 2018

ARTS
FEAR OF MEN
Viverk Shraya confronts the two-bladed knife of desire and dread
Viverk Shraya is an assistant professor in the U of C English Dept..
musician, poet, visual artist, photographer, teacher and short
A film maker, Vivek Shraya is intimidatingly talented. With I’m
Afraid of Men, Shraya is now a published author of non-fiction,
and in this new work, she explores how even someone as talented
as her is subjected to fear and prejudice as a trans artist, and how
that fear resonates across all genders.
“I wrote I’m Afraid of Men last fall,” Shraya says. “The year before
I had written a song called ‘I’m Afraid of Men,’ for an album I had
made called Part Time Woman. Pop music has a limited structure.
You only have three minutes to get a point across, and I like that
limitation. But there seemed to be a lot more to delve into with
that title, I’m Afraid of Men.”
Working in non-fiction for the first time, Shraya found room
to explore the difficult topics of her identity and the spectrum of
gender in ways she had previously been restricted from doing. “I’ve
definitely borrowed from my experiences in the past. But it’s always
been disseminated in a very covert way. There’s something about
non-fiction that felt freeing, just saying what I wanted to say.”
What Shraya sets out to say with I’m Afraid of Men is not, as
some readers might take from the title, a screed against men in
general. Rather, Shraya sees her work as an opportunity to discuss
the anxieties that young men face to conform to gender roles.
“I think about how many young boys in the world would like
ARTS
by TIM FORD
to explore their feminine side,” explains Shraya. “It doesn’t mean
they’re trans, it doesn’t mean they’re gay. But they’re regulated
at such a young age, and if a boy shows any kind of interest in
something that we consider ‘feminine,’ there’s nothing worse for a
young boy in North America.”
Shraya structures her work to reflect this idea with a narrative
voice that directly speaks out to the reader, both thematically and
literally. Sharing experiences from her past, Shraya moves from
her childhood, to her dating life, to her transition, and engages her
reader with sections that are subtitled “you” and “me.” Adopting a
second-person narrative for the “you” portion, Shraya reaches out
from the page with empathy and a hope for understanding.
“I think often when there’s personal narrative in text, it’s first
person. That’s how my book began, but there was something
about writing something so personal, and knowing that the reader
could put it down at any time they wanted, and engage with the
text almost voyeuristically. I felt like if I was going to do the work
of sharing some very painful experiences, that I wanted to feel like
the reader was with me, and part of the experience.”
A core part of that empathy comes from Shraya’s own sexuality
and anxiety. “The real tension of the book is that I love men, and
I desire men, and I fear men,” reveals Shraya. “Those things can be
true at the same time. For me it felt really important to show how
my fear of men interacts with my desire for men. And I think that’s
the case for so many women.”
I’m Afraid of Men is available at major book retailers and on
Amazon from Penguin Random House Canada. Shraya’s band, Too
Attached, is headlining this year’s Femme Wave Festival from Nov.
15-18, and as part of the Festival Shraya will be leading a Free Artist
Talk on Nov. 18 at the Memorial Park
Shauna Says
Life’s a Drag and that’s not all...
What inspired me to do Drag?
Initially it was to help a friend for a college photo shoot. A few years
later it was on a dare from a different friend once I told them about
my debut from before. That and a desire to continue entertaining
people after a lengthily time away from the stage, I figured it was
just another way to be creative.
Funny or interesting adventures during my Drag life?
1.) Being so broke that I had to use actual pancake dry mix to set
my face because I had no money to buy setting powder (it works
believe it or not, I used it a few times early on). 2.) Wearing nails one
and only one time, and almost peeing my panties trying to haul it
out of the layers of pantyhose and under garments. 3.) Painting a
face using wood stove flames as the only source of light.
Are there people other than gay men who do Drag?
Drag in today’s world is not designated to any one person. And is
rather a welcoming outlet for anyone to express who they are. Drag
is an alter ego of who someone is not what society thinks they
should be.
Curveball question of the month: A 32 year-old with a boyfriend
fan of shemale sites asks, “Should I leave well enough
alone, as I am fine with him looking at these sites?”
If you are fine with it then leave it in the browser. He isn’t hurting
anyone and most important if it isn’t affecting your relationship
then leave the browser history as it is and wait to see if he ever mentions
it to you. Sometimes browser history is a two way connection,
perhaps it’s been left there for you to see, it may be a way for him
to see how you might react. Chances are if he was truly keeping it
a secret that history would be wiped cleaner than even Sherlock
Holmes could find a clue in.
Curious about Drag and a walk on the wild side, ask Shauna at
shaunsays@beatroute.ca
BEATROUTE • NOVEMBER 2018 | 7