BeatRoute Magazine AB Edition December 2018

THE DUDES CHRISTMAS SPECIAL
have Christmas will travel
by Christine Leonard
It’s funny how the holiday season casts an aura
around everything that makes the world seem
a little bit more magical. Like the nutmeg in
your nog or the beeswax in your moustache,
The Dudes’ Annual Christmas Special is one
of myriads of elements that come together to
create the perfect holiday. Ready to put a rock
in your sock, vocalist/guitarist Danny Vacon and
The Dudes have a long history of hanging up the
mistletoe and wrecking the halls whenever the
occasion arises.
“You know when sometimes a person finds
you charming, so they ask if you want to come
home with them for the night? Does that happen
to you ever? Imagine you both had such a
nice time that they asked you to come back and
bang every year. It’s like that. I’m guessing this is
our... eighth?” says frontman Vacon, attempting
to recall how long they’ve been hosting the
popular event.
“It started at the Republik. Then she moved to
Flames Central. Now she’s at The Palace Theatre.
Have Christmas will travel!”
Comfortingly, Bad Santa Vacon, guitarist Bob
Quaschnick, bassist Brock Geiger and drummer
Matt Doherty, won’t be alone in their turkey-induced
haze. The more the merrier, after all.
“We’re lucky to know the best musicians. Our
own beloved 36? opens. They’re gonna make you
feel good,” he assures. “Charlie Handsome and
the Brats are this hard rockin’, sweats wearin’, epic
eight-piece band from Kelowna. I saw them this
summer and was addicted. The most fun. Like if a
bucket of chicken had an apartment and a band!”
The Dudes aim to adorn their decked-to-thehalls
fantasy with some surprise visuals that are
sure to complete the illusion. A guitar isn’t the
only tool that string-slinger Quaschnick brings to
the party.
“Bob is a carpenter. He always builds something
impossible for the show. We do all sorts of
things. Imagine Cirque on a trailer park budget.”
Perfect for your champagne in a can vacation
plan, just don’t expect any kitschy carols with
your cocktails. The Dudes have been off the
school pageant circuit since the unfortunate
snow globe incident of ‘08. But that doesn’t stop
them from enjoying themselves. In fact, their
festive spirit is simply contagious.
“I just embrace it at this point. I glittered my
high tops last year to look like Dorothy of Oz.
People can’t help if they’ve got the herpes. People
can’t help it if they need to be fabulous. Aesthetically,
I’d like to see more people dazzling their
herpes. C’mon, it’s Christmas. Put in a little effort.”
Traditions are what you make them, so when
it comes to creating a unique holiday experience
The Dudes have their own ideas about what it
means to ring in the New Year properly.
“You might be under the impression we’re
gonna be playing Christmas songs. That’s would
be torture, for everyone,” Vacon warns. “We have
one song about a Christmas miracle. This dude’s
landlord is on a date with his lady on Christmas
Eve. He plugs in his guitar and the most wonderful
things start happening. Also, he gets an old Big
Muff Pi in his stocking, so... it’s a bit of a triumph.”
Maybe the perfect gift isn’t something you
find under a tree. The Dudes have discovered
that sometimes the best present is just being
present for those who really matter to you.
“I dug a girl a giant hole once. No joke. Labour
is love. I hid in a wrapped gift box when I got
home on temporary leave from my deployment
in 2005. Snuck myself under my ex’s tree while
she slept on Christmas Eve. Morning comes and,
‘Whoa boy,!’ was she ever surprised. Her new
boyfriend even more so.”
Behold the unholy glory of The Dudes Annual Christmas
Special on Dec. 21 at Palace Theatre (Calgary)
and Dec. 22 at Station on Jasper (Edmonton)
Naughty or Nice? “When you turn 30, those things are no longer mutually exclusive. So, yes.”
24 | DECEMBER 2018 • BEATROUTE
ROCKPILE