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Unlike so many times before, this wasn’t<br />

something I had purchased myself, then<br />

wrapped, and placed under the tree with a<br />

tiny gift card in my own handwriting that said,<br />

“To: Mary Ann, From: G’mama.” This was an<br />

actual surprise! When I turned to her, she just<br />

stood there, waiting, with a childlike twinkle in<br />

her own eye.<br />

I ripped the paper off of it like a six-year<br />

old. And much to my astonishment, it was a<br />

big, white, fluffy, teddy bear with a red knit hat<br />

and scarf. What in the world? For the life of<br />

me I couldn’t imagine what possessed her to<br />

buy it. It was so completely uncharacteristic–<br />

not to mention, I was grown!<br />

But I didn’t care why. I loved it. That<br />

moment captured and resurrected a magic<br />

that had been missing on Christmas morning<br />

for many years. I think it did the same for her,<br />

too. We both squealed out loud and continued<br />

to giggle throughout the day.<br />

That bear served as a perfect reminder that<br />

no matter where life takes you, or what life’s<br />

circumstances deal you, it’s important to keep<br />

the child-like magic of Christmas near. To this<br />

day, I still have it.<br />

✧ ✧ ✧<br />

So now, every mid-November, we pull<br />

down an eight-foot artificial tree out of our<br />

own attic–the very same tree that my<br />

grandmother had in her home. The kitchen<br />

table wasn’t the only thing I inherited. And<br />

while this one continues to show its age, and<br />

I’ve threatened to get a new one a dozen<br />

times, I never do. I’m not sure I can.<br />

I’m keenly aware that the very things we<br />

are doing in our home, my son may someday<br />

do for his own children. I’ve tried to be very<br />

deliberate in that regard. Intentional.<br />

Nearly all the ornaments on our tree<br />

reference a specific time in our lives or a<br />

vacation that we took together. And, as has<br />

become tradition, we get a new blown-glass<br />

ornament every year. We have dozens of<br />

them. There’s a football, a baseball, and a<br />

buffalo marking our trip to the Grand Canyon.<br />

We have Yoda as a nod to our Star Wars<br />

phase, Lilly and Lucy–our beloved dogs that<br />

have gone before us, and Thomas the Tank<br />

Engine. We have a blown-glass peanut to<br />

celebrate our fall peanut boils and now, in<br />

addition, I pull out all our stuffed animal<br />

friends to mark yet another special season<br />

in life that has passed but is not forgotten–<br />

my own white teddy bear being one of them.<br />

These things are important, regardless of age,<br />

and provide comfort and special memories<br />

for our family.<br />

Turns out, Christmas was never about<br />

“stuff.” It’s about memories–childhood<br />

memories that never fade. When all our kids<br />

are grown and gone and making their own<br />

memories, they may not remember the<br />

specific gifts they got–but they’ll remember<br />

the tree, and who was around it. And the<br />

smells. And how they felt. And all the love<br />

that was shared–at Christmas. l<br />

16 • December 2018

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