Brio sample pages

4
quick & easy
breakfast
recipes
LAUREN
SCRUGGS
KENNEDY
redefining
beautiful
Battle
of the
sexes
page 26
Spiritual
Rhythms
SPENDING TIME
WITH GOD
AUGUST / SEPTEMBER 2020
BrioMagazine.ca
08
Journaling
* PRAYER
* CREATING CALM
* WOMEN IN THE WORD
* YOUR SQUAD MATTERS
* BACK TO SCHOOL

August September 2020
TABLE OF CONTENTS
10
faith
24 PRAYER JOURNAL
Where Do You Run?
39 INSPIRATIONAL LETTERING
48 ‘GRACE AND PEACE TO YOU’
Accepting God’s gift and living
in freedom
57 AUGUST BIBLE READING PLAN
Women in the Word—Deborah
58 SEPTEMBER BIBLE READING PLAN
Women in the Word—Tabitha
relationships
31 TEAMWORK, PLAYFULNESS
AND LOVE
Contributing to a healthy
family dynamic during the
school year
on the cover
22 SPIRITUAL RHYTHMS
Spending time with God,
even when life is busy
36 YOUR SQUAD MATTERS
Don’t wait to invest in true
friendships
46 FICTION: A FACE IN THE MURAL
59 DO GUYS STRUGGLE WITH
THEIR BODY IMAGE?
Insights into the bro code and how
it affects the guys you know
real life
18 BE INSPIRED:
ONE STRONG WOMAN
Paralympian Marissa Arndt
Retzlaff talks judo, faith and
overcoming the odds
26 MOVE BEYOND THE BATTLE
OF THE SEXES
Following Jesus’ commands
to ditch pride, love God and
serve others
40 REDEFINING BEAUTIFUL
Lauren Scruggs Kennedy finds
purpose in helping girls embrace
their own beauty
51 CREATING CALM
Tips to minimize stress in your
new school year
62 CAREER: MILITARY CHAPLAIN
Lindsey Moser, Second
Lieutenant, United States
Air Force
66 AN INVITATION TO GROW
Being honest with God and
ourselves about our struggles
health & beauty
9 ASK THE DOCTOR
Can you talk about swallowing
pills and body image?
10 BENEFITS OF BREAKFAST
Choosing foods that energize
and fuel you for success
12 MAKE A STATEMENT!
entertainment
14 LIVING IN THE MOMENT
Are you missing face-to-face
connection in a screen-to-screen
world?
17 GET PLUGGED IN
What about Dua Lipa and
“Never Have I Ever”?
just for fun
3 MOTIVATIONAL QUOTE
7 AUGUST CALENDAR
Organize
8 SEPTEMBER CALENDAR
Endurance
34 QUIZ: WHAT’S YOUR
PLANNING PERSONALITY?
68 QUICK & EASY
BREAKFASTS
70 INTERACTIVE DRAWING
Coloring pages
72 CREATIVE CORNER
Featuring the artistic talent
of Brio readers like you
let’s talk
5 LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
6 LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
74 ASK BRIO
Get answers to real-life questions
39
ESSI KIMPIMÄKI / CANDICE AND DANIEL LANNING /
FELICIA LASALA PHOTOGRAPHY / LORI DANELLE
4 AUGUST / SEPTEMBER 2020 BRIOMAGAZINE.CA

letters
Follow us on
Instagram!
40
@BrioMagazine
Want to sign up a
friend for Brio?
BrioMagazine.ca
It’s hard to believe that summer is already coming to a close. It
seems like “just the other day” you were finishing classes at home.
And wasn’t it “just the other day” that springtime was blooming
while the world shut down to shelter in place? How about “just
the other day” when we all welcomed 2020 with no thought of
coronavirus or social distancing? How quickly life has changed
around us.
I hope you’ve found opportunities to reconnect with those
you love. And I hope the warmth of summer has brought you
some comfort.
Now that a new school year is right around the corner, you may
be wondering what classrooms and calendars will look like. Will
you have to chat with friends from behind a mask? Maybe you
changed schools, or you opted to home-school for a season. Or
maybe the whole spring 2020 experience confirmed for you and
your parents that a little personal space during the work week is a
good thing. Whatever the uncertainties this fall, we can all expect
change to be inevitable. So, we hold to the hope that as we make
our plans, God will direct our steps (Proverbs 16:9).
“Just the other day,” before COVID-19 came to our country, the
Brio team was already developing the mag you’re now holding. We
were talking about strengthening your body with better breakfasts
(page 10). We were editing articles about pursuing grace and peace
(page 48), creating calm (page 51) and running to God in times
of trouble (page 24). Our goal was to create content that would
strengthen you—spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally and
socially. And now, here we are. We’re cheering for you as you take
yet another courageous step into the unknown.
Whatever this back-to-school season might look like for you,
we’re praying that “the God of hope [will] fill you with all joy and
peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may
abound in hope” (Romans 15:13).
Pam
You are beautifully designed for a unique purpose and desperately loved by a faithful Savior. Here
at Brio you belong to a community that will encourage you to own your faith, be confident in your
body and discover who you are as a child of God. As you navigate these years, know that you are not
alone. We’re here to listen, to speak truth, to offer hope. So, let’s talk about the issues that matter to
you. Remember, you are God’s good work created with a purpose and loved beyond measure.
@BRIOMAGAZINE AUGUST / SEPTEMBER 2020
5

letters
Enjoying Summer Smoothies
Dear Brio, I loved the article “Summer
Smoothies” by Bethany Hamilton (June/July
2020)! I would love to see more healthy and
delicious recipes in the upcoming issues.
—Lillian, California
Inspired by Michelle Carter
Dear Brio, I was really glad to read your article about goldmedal
Olympian Michelle Carter (June/July 2020). Seeing
how God used her weight and height for her benefit was
really uplifting. I like how her body type was used to help her
accomplish such an important achievement.
—Isabella, Nevada
feed
n to unfollow
deciding whether to unfollow
one, I pause to consider the
s why I am doing so. The
m line is that I want to bring
it of the Spirit into my life—
oy, peace, patience, kindness,
ess, faithfulness, gentleness
lf-control (Galatians 5:22-23).
t’s obvious that someone isn’t
ying those traits through his or
sts, then it’s an easy unfollow.
it’s not that obvious, here are a
her questions to consider:
this person’s posts consistently
ative?
e I found myself comparing
life to this person’s life?
mparison isn’t healthy, whether
uggle with envy or I feel that
better than someone else.)
this person’s posts stress me
?
e answer is “yes” to any of
questions, then that’s a pretty
reason to consider unfollowing
r her.
what if someone’s posts are
noying? I admit that I’ve
owed people because I felt they
d too often. I’ve also unfollowed
We’d love to
hear from you!
Email us at
askbrio@briomagazine.com
with the subject line
“letters to the editor.”
Anger and Apologies
Dear Brio, My favorite article in the June/July
2020 magazine was “When Emotions Run High.”
This article helped me figure out how I should
handle my anger and apologize. It also gave me
some helpful tips on how to apologize sincerely.
—Ellie, Ohio
More from Brio’s featured authors.
@BRIOMAGAZINE JUNE / JULY 2020 15
A Healthy Social Media
Feed
Dear Brio, I really enjoyed the article
in the June/July 2020 magazine
about creating a healthy social media
feed (“When to Unfollow”). I recently
got Instagram, and I’ve already had
issues with negativity coming through
my feed. This article really helped.
—Brooke, Rhode Island
Jessie Minassian
PAGE 26
Jonathan McKee
PAGE 14
Jamie Ivey
PAGE 36
These books and more can be found at
FocusOnTheFamily.ca/store
6 AUGUST / SEPTEMBER 2020 BRIOMAGAZINE.CA

It’s time to plan for the
upcoming school year!
Purchase a planner, calendar
or bullet journal to keep track of
events and deadlines. Be sure
to add the following details:
• holidays and birthdays
• school breaks
• assignment due dates
• test dates
• club and activity meetings
BY MEGAN ALMS / ILLUSTRATION BY KARLA ALCAZAR
Lighten your load by cleaning out your backpack.
Organize your locker so that everything is easy to find.
Create a homework space where you can work
without distractions.
List three activities, classes or
hobbies that you’d like to try
this semester.
What do you want your life to look like at the end of this school year?
Consider ways you’d like to grow and goals you’d like to accomplish.
Create a step-by-step plan to reach those goals, and write those steps
in your planner.
Mark your first day of school.
International Youth Day is Wednesday, Aug. 12.
Monday, Aug. 24, is National Waffle Day.
What other dates are you recognizing this month?
Megan Alms is a freelance writer from Indianapolis.
@BRIOMAGAZINE AUGUST / SEPTEMBER 2020
7

BY MEGAN ALMS / ILLUSTRATION BY KARLA ALCAZAR
As your schedule grows busier, what habits, goals and values
do you want to be sure to keep in focus?
Reach out to your community.
List three ways you can serve those around you.
List three ways you can allow your friends
to support you.
Seek God’s guidance as
you organize your time.
Ask God to show you
opportunities for rest.
List three people you
can pray for this month.
Commit to a day of rest
and relaxation each week.
Take a quick break after
every hour spent on
homework.
Create space at the end of
each day for a pause from
all forms of screen time.
Labor Day is Monday, Sept. 7.
Sunday, Sept. 13, is National Grandparents’ Day.
The first day of fall is Tuesday, Sept. 22.
September 10 is World Suicide Prevention Day.
What other dates are you recognizing this month?
8
AUGUST / SEPTEMBER 2020
BRIOMAGAZINE.CA
Megan Alms is a freelance writer from Indianapolis.

ask the doctor
BY DR. PATRICIA LANDRY
DEAR DOCTOR: I have trouble
taking pills. I only take them if I
absolutely have to, but most of
the time, I can’t swallow them.
Am I doing something wrong?
DEAR DOCTOR: I try to lose weight by going to the gym and exercising
and lowering my sugar intake, but I just seem to be fatter than other
girls. What should I do?
The first thing I would recommend is that you be kind to yourself. Resist the
temptation to compare yourself to others because healthy looks different on
every individual body.
Remember that during puberty your body is changing in shape. It’s normal
to gain weight at this age and stage, so please focus on fitness—not fatness.
That means eating healthy foods and being active regularly. Pause each day to
appreciate your healthy body and how it functions. Then to help you learn new
skills, consider participating in sports and pursuing hobbies.
It’s always good to celebrate what you like about your body. How you choose
to see yourself (your body image) will impact your confidence and self-respect.
So don’t be swayed by images on social media that insist all girls should look a
certain way.
No body is perfect. Avoid being critical of your own body and never tease
about someone else’s appearance. Replace negative comments that run
through your mind with positive thoughts, focusing on your good qualities—your
artistic talent, your sense of humor, your favorite body feature, your sensitivity
toward others.
Remember that we are all a work in progress. Love the body that you have.
Keep it fit and healthy. Enjoy being you. You are a one and only, and there’s no
need for comparison.
Submit your own questions to askbrio@briomagazine.com
with the subject line “Doctor.”
You are not alone. Many people find
it challenging to take pills, fearing they
may choke on them or get them stuck
in their throat. And seriously, some of
the pills out there look gigantic!
If it takes too long for you to swallow,
pills that come in tablet form may start
dissolving in your mouth. Using a pill
splitter can reduce a large tablet to
smaller pieces, making it easier for you
to swallow.
To help patients take pills, some
medications are formulated as
capsules. These are designed with a
protective covering that is slippery,
allowing the medicine to more easily
slide down your throat.
Try taking a drink of water and letting
the capsule float on the liquid in your
mouth. Then you can think more about
swallowing the water than the pill. The
goal is to simply let the pill “go along
for the ride”—kind of like an inner tube
floating down a river.
A couple of final thoughts: Some
medications may be available in liquid
form and others are designed to melt
in your mouth. Whenever your doctor
writes a prescription for you, consider
asking if one of these options may be
available.
ADOBESTOCK–MARIDAV
Dr. Patricia Landry is a family doctor in Easley, South Carolina. She is a member of Focus on the Family’s Physicians
Resource Council and has been a member of the American Academy of Family Physicians for more than 25 years.
These are the opinions of one physician and not necessarily those of Focus on the Family. In similar cases you should consult your own physician.
@BRIOMAGAZINE AUGUST / SEPTEMBER 2020
9

Benefits of Breakfast
Choosing foods that energize
and fuel you for success
BY AMANDA MODER / ILLUSTRATION BY ESSI KIMPIMÄKI
As a child, one of my favorite ways to celebrate family birthdays
was to turn our kitchen into an imaginary restaurant for breakfast. I
enjoyed the creative process and added colors and embellishments
to all that I did. Typically, I would try to persuade one of my two
younger brothers to serve as a waiter for the meal. I still remember
how making breakfast gave me a spark of joy and creativity.
10 AUGUST / SEPTEMBER 2020 BRIOMAGAZINE.CA

Food for focus
Working with food provides opportunities
to express ourselves, get creative
and show love to those around us. In
addition to self-expression, the foods
we choose to eat will impact how we
feel, act and focus throughout the
day—and it all starts with breakfast.
Just like a car needs gas to run,
our body needs food to get moving.
Have you ever noticed that the word
breakfast breaks down into two words:
“break” and “fast”? The word literally
means to break the fast (or time
without food) that your body has been
in throughout the night. So, how do we
best break that evening fast?
Vegetables, fruits, whole grains,
protein and healthy fats are all key
food categories that help the body feel
its best. So for breakfast, it’s good if we
aim to include at least three of these
five categories, with one of the categories
being a vegetable or fruit. For
example, one morning we may choose
a whole grain, protein and a fruit. The
next, we may decide to eat protein,
veggies and healthy fats. Including all
five categories in the same breakfast
meal would be even better!
If a food doesn’t fit into one of
these “everyday” food categories, that
doesn’t mean we can’t eat it. It just
means that it’s probably not going to
fuel us for success. Where “everyday”
foods leave the body feeling energized,
“sometimes” foods (doughnuts, sugary
cereals, toaster pastries), can leave us
feeling drained and tired.
“Everyday” foods
Making veggies, fruits, whole grains,
protein and healthy fats a part of our
morning routine can help fuel our body
for the day. Here are a few examples of
each category:
Vegetables and fruits come in a
variety of colors that provide different
types of antioxidants to help the body
function well. They also provide fiber,
keep us hydrated with their highwater
content and supply important
vitamins and minerals.
Whole grains provide long-lasting
energy through complex carbs. Veggies
and fruits pair well with whole grains
such as oats, whole-grain bread, brown
rice, quinoa or whole-grain cereals.
Protein helps the body repair tissues
and promotes a healthy metabolism.
Protein can include eggs, seafood,
meat, peanut butter or Greek yogurt.
Healthy omega-3 fats are a type
of unsaturated fat that promotes
brain health and keeps skin, hair and
nails strong. This includes almonds,
walnuts, flaxseed or chia seeds.
Other unsaturated fats, such as nut
butters, fish, nuts and seeds, are
going to benefit our body more than
saturated fats that are found in foods
such as cheese, butter, coconut oil
and red meat. Our body needs both
types of fat, but it’s best if we include
unsaturated fats on our plate.
Breakfast habits
Now that you understand a few
breakfast basics, you may be asking
yourself, What if I don’t have time for
breakfast? Or, What if I’m not hungry
in the morning? I know it can be
tough to wake up early enough to pull
together breakfast, especially since it’s
important to get a good night’s rest. It
also can be challenging to know what
foods are best for fueling your body
from day to day. But planning ahead
can help you avoid morning stress and
make breakfast a habit. (Check out a
few quick and easy breakfast recipes
on page 68!)
And remember, breakfast will look
different for everyone. Maybe you
prefer to drink your breakfast, so you
choose to blend a balanced smoothie.
Or maybe it’s most realistic for you to
eat breakfast as a midmorning snack.
Or maybe breakfast looks different for
you in different seasons. However you
decide to fuel your body, know that it
has an impact on your day.
Breakfast doesn’t have to be the
focus of your day, but it can play a
big role in helping you to focus for the
day. And you might not remember the
details of each meal, just like I don’t
remember all the details of those
birthday breakfast restaurants. But
even if the food isn’t memorable, it
can be impactful! So get creative, and
start your day with a well-balanced
breakfast, choosing foods that inspire
you to live colorfully—energized and
fueled for success.
Amanda Moder is a registered, licensed
dietitian, practicing in the Kansas City
metro-area. She is also a dance instructor
who performs professionally. She loves how
balanced eating can help us be our best.
@BRIOMAGAZINE AUGUST / SEPTEMBER 2020
11

Living
in the
Moment
Are you missing
face-to-face
connection in a
screen-to-screen
world?
BY JONATHAN MCKEE
ILLUSTRATIONS BY ORIOL VIDAL
14 AUGUST / SEPTEMBER 2020 BRIOMAGAZINE.CA

Ashley had been looking forward to this day for weeks.
Hanging out with her friends at the lake, then
heading to her favorite pizza place for dinner, and
then spending the evening by the pool and hot tub at her
best friend, Christine’s, house. The perfect day!
If only.
Halfway through the day, Ashley began wondering why
they even bothered coming to the lake. Everyone seemed
more interested in taking perfect pictures of the moment
rather than actually enjoying the moment.
“Anyone wanna swim out to the diving raft?” Ashley asked.
Silence.
Everyone was buried in their phones.
“Hey,” Ashley’s friend Megan said, “let’s grab a pic of us all
here climbing on the rocks!” Everyone gathered together,
and Megan took a group selfie.
Click.
“Wait, let me see.” Megan checked the pic, zooming in on
herself. “No way. My arm fat is showing. Let’s take another
one!”
Click. Click. Click.
She checked again. “OK, this one will work. I’m sending it
to you all now.”
Everyone disappeared into their phones again.
Open, save image, post, caption, tag, tag, tag, tag, hashtag,
hashtag, share . . .
Pizza was no different. Several friends all together with
good music and great food, but no one was talking to each
other. Sure, there was a bit of conversation, but Ashley
noticed how everyone stayed buried in their phones.
Two hours later, Ashley was lying on the floor of
Christine’s bedroom while Christine scrolled through her
Insta feed.
“I can’t believe Taylor is going out with Kendra now,”
Christine said. “What does he see in her?”
“Hey, should we go outside and hang by the pool?” Ashley
finally suggested.
“Nah.” Christine said, not even looking up from her phone.
“Pool’s boring. Hey, did you see the pic Megan posted of
Brianna? Hilarious!”
Eventually they both faded off to sleep . . . phones by
their bedsides.
It’s not like Ashley doesn’t like her phone. She uses her
phone all the time. But Ashley sees her phone as a great
way to connect with people outside the room, when it
doesn’t interfere with people inside the room. >
@BRIOMAGAZINE AUGUST / SEPTEMBER 2020
15

HOW CAN YOU
INCREASE YOUR FACE-TO-
FACE CONNECTIONS?
HOW CAN YOU LIMIT YOUR
SCREEN TIME?
What about those screens?
Ashley isn’t alone. A growing number
of teenagers are becoming frustrated
with exactly how much screens are
beginning to distract them from
what’s truly important. In fact,
researchers recently asked teens their
opinions about their own screen time.
And this is what researchers found:
• Nine in 10 teenagers view spending
too much time online as a problem
facing people their age, including
60% who say it is a major problem.
• 54% of teenagers think they
actually spend too much time on
their phone.
• Almost 70% of teenagers surveyed
admitted that they wished they
could spend more time “socializing
face to face” than online.
Based on these findings, many
teens seem to feel that devices
designed to help us connect actually
cause a disconnect. What about
you? Do you ever find your screens
disconnecting you from the people
around you?
Here are two habits you can
practice to help you find fulfillment:
Seek face-to-face connection in an
otherwise screen-to-screen world.
Whenever your friend or family
member walks in the room, pause
what you’re doing, and put your
phone to the side, screen down. Many
people your age actually enjoy faceto-face
connections more than online
ones, but they just don’t know how to
keep their screens from getting in the
way. The simple practice of putting
your phone down or in your pocket
helps you focus on the relationships
that matter. It keeps you from
ignoring the people in the room.
rates have been spiking at unprecedented
levels—ever since 2012 when
the majority of young people began
carrying smartphones. Most experts
now see an indisputable link between
screen time and depression. In fact,
countless studies reveal that happiness
and mental wellness are highest
when young people spend no more
than two hours of “extracurricular
digital media use” each day, especially
on social media. Would you agree that
the more hours teens spend on their
devices, the more their mental wellbeing
could steadily decrease?
Could you put your
phone away?
No, screens aren’t bad. But like
many things, if and when we let
them distract us from what and
who are important in life, we’ll
see the consequences—in our
relationships and our mental health.
It’s like the apostle Paul says in the
New Testament: “ ‘I have the right
to do anything,’ you say—but not
everything is beneficial. ‘I have the
right to do anything’—but I will not
be mastered by anything”
(1 Corinthians 6:12, NIV).
Who wants to be enslaved to their
phone?
Not me.
Not Ashley.
And not the 70% of teens who
would rather put their phones away
and focus on the face-to-face connections
in front of them.
So, try it. Put your phone down and
you just might be surprised by how
fulfilling it is. After all, you really don’t
need a phone to connect with the
people right in front of you.
Limit your screen time. Mental
health experts are discovering that
screen time matters big time! Here’s
the simple reality: In the last decade,
anxiety, depression and teen suicide
Jonathan McKee is currently working with
Focus on the Family’s Plugged In team. He’s
also a sought after public speaker and the
author of more than 20 books, including The
Teen’s Guide to Social Media . . . & Mobile
Devices.
16 AUGUST / SEPTEMBER 2020 BRIOMAGAZINE.CA

get plugged in
BY ADAM HOLZ
Submit your own questions
to askbrio@briomagazine.com
with the subject line “Plugged In.”
IMDB.COM
DEAR PLUGGED IN: Some of my friends are watching
the Netflix show “Never Have I Ever,” but I’m not
sure it’s OK. What do you think about it?
—Camila, Texas
Great question. And your friends aren’t the only ones
watching Netflix’s buzzy new teen show. This comedy-drama
from creator Mindy Kaling (from “The Office” and “The
Mindy Show”) focuses on Devi Vishwakumar, a 15-year-old
Indian-American girl growing up in Southern California. And
Devi’s got problems. You see, last year, her dad died—at
school—which left her temporarily paralyzed. Now she’s
mostly known as “the girl whose dad died at school and got
paralyzed,” an image she’s hoping to shake by embracing a
wild, partying lifestyle. It doesn’t help that her relationship
with her mother isn’t great either.
Then there are boys. Actually, there’s one that Devi’s really
lusting after: Paxton Hall-Yoshida. She and her two besties
(one of whom is same-sex attracted) constantly imagine
hooking up with their crushes. Apart from some kissing, that
hasn’t happened yet. But Devi is praying to her family’s Hindu
gods that it does—soon. Toss in a lot of language and other
risky choices, and “Never Have I Ever”—despite some sweet
moments as Devi tries to work through her grief about her
dad—has plenty of problems for teen viewers.
DEAR PLUGGED IN: What do you think of Dua Lipa’s
music?
—Charlotte, Iowa
I’m glad you asked about Dua Lipa. This rising British singer
has been around for a couple of years, but she’s really broken
through with her second album, Future Nostalgia.
Plugged In has reviewed several of Dua’s songs and
albums, and we’ve found a consistent tension between
her positive and problematic messages. On the plus side,
she frequently sings about trying to set healthy boundaries
when romantic relationships get unhealthy. She’s willing
to walk away from things when a guy treats her badly, and
her self-esteem isn’t wrapped up in pleasing self-centered
boyfriends. On her single “Don’t Start Now,” for instance, she
says that she’s moved on from “the guy who tried to/Hurt me
with the word ‘goodbye.’ ” Looking back, she now realizes that
she’s “better on the other side.”
But then we got to those problems I mentioned earlier.
Sometimes she knows a relationship is bad news, but
that self-awareness doesn’t stop her from making reckless
choices. Still, it’s pretty clear that a big part of Dua’s
approach to romance has to do with the physical aspect of
her relationships. Her many sensual songs focus primarily on
sex. On the track “Hallucinate,” for instance, she compares
a guy’s effect on her to an addictive drug: “No, I could
never have too much/I’ll breathe you in, forever and ever/
Hallucinate.”
At times, then, Dua Lipa strives to make good decisions.
But more often, she embraces bad ones, ignoring long-term
consequences and wise boundaries for the sake of an
intense sensual feeling in the moment.
Our team from Focus on the Family’s Plugged In
media review and discernment website is eager to
read your pop-culture questions. Find out what’s
in movies, music, TV shows and books by visiting
PluggedIn.ca .
@BRIOMAGAZINE AUGUST / SEPTEMBER 2020
17

18 AUGUST / SEPTEMBER 2020 BRIOMAGAZINE.CA

e inspired
One Strong Woman
Paralympian Marissa Arndt Retzlaff
talks judo, faith and overcoming the odds
BY GAYLEEN GARDNER / PHOTOS BY CARY BATES
Marissa leans in, greets her friend
Priscilla and quietly whispers, “Sorry.”
She grabs hold of Priscilla’s collar
and tries to throw her to the ground!
Priscilla grasps Marissa’s elbow,
returns the “sorry” and attempts to
sweep Marissa’s feet out from under
her. No, it’s not a script for a bad TV
show. It’s the true story of an international
judo match between two blind
friends.
Twenty-seven-year-old Marissa
Arndt Retzlaff may be blind, but her
vision is clear. “I don’t want my story
to be one of missed opportunities,”
she says. So she takes her experience
of being different and uses it as a
strength, fueling her accomplishments
through her faith in God. “We
are stronger than we think,” she says.
No doubt, this Paralympian from
Wisconsin is one strong woman.
No kid wants to be different
As a 3-year-old, Marissa was diagnosed
with retinitis pigmentosa, a
disease that would slowly leave her
with the ability to see only light and
dark shadows. At first, Marissa admits
it wasn’t so bad. She had night blindness
and no peripheral vision; if she
sat in the front row in class she could
see well enough. She hid her disability
from everyone but her closest friends.
But by fourth grade things got more
challenging. PE class in a new school
was especially painful. There were no
accommodations for her lack of side
vision, so Marissa played baseball and
volleyball without the ability to see
the ball—until it hit her. “I broke more
glasses than I could count,” she recalls.
By sixth grade Marissa had tunnel
vision. She could only see four letters
on a page at a time. Just as classes got
harder, her ability to read got slower.
The less Marissa could see, the
more she could hear kids’ cruel
comments. Teasing that started in
kindergarten with “four eyes” had
escalated to “Marissa is as blind
as a bat.” Middle school girls were
particularly cruel. One terrible day
on the seventh-grade field trip to a
water park, a group of girls formed
a circle around Marissa and pelted
her with ice. Not too much later her
best friend decided it was better to be
popular than be friends with Marissa.
Although Marissa knew she could be
strong, she also knew she needed a
friend to help her.
Marissa’s friend and companion for
taking her mind off the bullies came
with dirty fur—an abandoned dog
rescued by Marissa’s family. “Holly
became my best friend. Even though
Life Verse
“Rejoice in hope,
be patient in tribulation,
be constant in prayer.”
—Romans 12:12
I hated school I could come home
and love life because of her.” Marissa
also loved to write music, stories
and poetry. She would try to finish
her schoolwork quickly so she could
escape into writing. She found life in
what she loved.
Marissa also found life in the
love of her family. Corey, Marissa’s
older brother, constantly kept his
protective eye on his little sister.
Everyone knew Corey was watching
out for Marissa, whether they were at
school, riding in rodeos or on family
camping trips. Marissa’s parents filled
their lives with family time and all the
special resources Marissa needed to
be independent.
Marissa’s parents also made sure
Marissa spent summers at “blind
camps” with other kids who could
not see. At camp she made lifelong
friends who understood her. Her
camp friends were not only blind, but
many of them also had cancer or had
lost their sight because of terrible
accidents. They all learned skills for
living without their sight.
One fabulous summer day at blind
camp, when Marissa was 14 and
her vision was down to a pinhole,
Marissa’s world expanded with the
introduction of several sports she
could play, including judo. “I loved
the feeling of being thrown and
especially of throwing someone else.”
Fearing that judo was dangerous,
Marissa’s parents decided it should
be a “camp-only” activity. >
@BRIOMAGAZINE AUGUST / SEPTEMBER 2020
19

Newlyweds
Marissa met Brady Retzlaff
when he came to work as an
intern at her church in Colorado.
They bonded over their work
with kids and their love for the
Green Bay Packers. Her friends
looked up Brady online so they
could tell Marissa what he
looked like.
They married in August 2019
in Wisconsin, and then swam
with manatees, dolphins and
sea lions on their honeymoon
in Mexico. Marissa and Brady
now live in St. Louis, where he
is finishing seminary and she is
training for the Paralympics.
Finding a new focus
One day in high school Marissa found
herself surrounded by a group of girls
in the cafeteria. But these sophomores
came with a different message than
the water park posse: “High school
is so much better if you participate
in things.” Heeding their advice and
the advice of her vision teacher (“You
have to give a little to get a little”),
Marissa took off—running track. She
could see just enough to stay in her
lane. Finally, she was part of a team.
That same year Marissa got great
news. She was going to receive a
Seeing Eye dog. The bad news? She
would have to master and use a white
cane for two years before she could
take possession of her dog. That put
an end to any “disability hiding” she
was still pulling off. It turned out to
be a blessing she didn’t expect. The
cane actually helped people understand
she really couldn’t see.
The summer before her senior year,
Marissa spent a month in New Jersey
learning how to care for and depend
on her guide dog. The glorious day
finally came: Marissa and her dog
Fray stepped out into the world
together.
“Let me try!”
With Fray constantly at her side,
Marissa made the move to college
to study interpersonal and organizational
communication. She was
now three hours from home. It was
challenging and wonderful. Everyone
wanted to meet Fray and Marissa.
Even though her vision became a
“shaky, blurry mess,” her life actually
came into focus. She signed up for
a wellness course in judo. And she
found the rough and tumble activity
made her so happy. When the course
ended, she joined a local judo club.
Judo is a Japanese martial art called
“The Gentle Way.” In “The Gentle
Way,” the judoka wins by throwing her
opponent and then landing on her
opponent’s back, pinning her, choking
her or getting points from an “arm bar”
(basically bending her opponent’s
arm until it would break if the ref
didn’t stop the play). Such a gentle
way! No wonder Marissa and Priscilla
regularly apologize to each other.
Marissa has a gentle spirit, yet she
is a fierce competitor. In fact, she
fought sighted athletes for three years
before she even heard about blind
para judo. “There is a lot of respect
in judo. Respecting your opponent,
yourself, your sport. When you are on
the mat, you are there to fight so you
have to just be as tough as you can.”
A deeper source
Just as she was throwing herself into
judo, Marissa threw herself into
growing deep roots of faith. Early
on in college a friend invited her to
dinner and a Bible study. Although
Marissa had been raised going to
church, it was in a pastor’s living
room that Marissa began to understand
the God she had been talking to
every night since she was a little girl.
She began listening to and studying
her Bible. By 2016, when she had
earned her communication degree,
she had also earned a double master’s
in theology and deaconess studies.
Making the most of every
opportunity
Although many things did not come
easily to Marissa, she continues to
challenge herself. While training
to compete with the 2021 USA
Paralympic Team in Tokyo, she is also
pursuing her dream of becoming a
hospital chaplain.
“You have to have a good work ethic.
. . . A lot of things take a lot of work,
and you can’t just give up because
you don’t get it. Not everything comes
easy!”
Being different and being bullied
were challenging, but Marissa’s life
and faith have given her a message
she really wants young women to
hear—whether they are struggling
at school or striving to become the
very best in the world at their sport.
“Know that you are beautifully and
wonderfully made by God, and you
are so much stronger than you think!
Don’t let your history be one of
missed opportunities.”
Gayleen Gardner is a Colorado native, author,
playwright and master chocolate chip cookie
baker. A mother to sons, she loves spending
time with the amazing young women in her
life, including her granddaughter, Olivia.
20 AUGUST / SEPTEMBER 2020 BRIOMAGAZINE.CA

TOP LEFT DOWN: Training at the
U.S. Olympic Training Center (OTC) in
Colorado Springs, Colorado / walking
on the OTC campus / Marissa with Fray /
horse riding at 14 / competing
CANDID PHOTOS COURTESY OF MARISSA
@BRIOMAGAZINE AUGUST / SEPTEMBER 2020
21

Spiritual Rhythms
Spending time with God, even when life is busy
BY ASHERITAH CIUCIU / PHOTO BY CANDICE AND DANIEL LANNING
Beep! Beep! Beep!
I fumbled in the dark to snooze
my alarm. Whose idea was it to start
school at such a dreadful hour? I
thought, returning to the warmth of my
covers.
Five minutes later, the alarm blared
again. After several snoozes and my
mom’s menacing call through the door,
I dragged myself out of bed. I threw on
an outfit, pulled my hair into a ponytail
and grabbed a quick bite as I ran out
the door to the school bus.
Only after I climbed the steps into
the warm bus did I realize that I had
missed my morning devotions. Again.
Too busy for God
That scene was more than a decade
ago, but I vividly remember the chaos—
and the disappointment. Actually, I still
have days like that. How about you?
Even if you have good intentions to
spend time with God, it’s easy to feel
like you just don’t have time. Between
early morning alarms, daily commutes
to school and practice, after-school
homework and activities, how’s a girl
to get a few moments with God? Add
to that the constant noise from your
earbuds, your friends’ TikTok videos
and your favorite TV show. You may
even struggle with feelings of failure
because you’ve been taught to spend
more time with God.
Be encouraged—it doesn’t have to
be that way. God doesn’t want us to
meet with Him just to check something
off a to-do list or to impress Him with
our devotion. He wants us to get to
know Him, love Him and find joy in Him
(Psalm 16:11).
Spiritual habits for busy girls
There is no one-size-fits-all “quiet time”
formula in the Bible because God
created each of us one of a kind. Our
time with Him isn’t limited to morning
devotions. We can form our own
spiritual habits that will create rhythms
to help us enjoy time with God every
day. Even when life is busy.
One recent scientific study
confirmed that individuals are more
likely to stick with a new habit if it’s
easy to do. So instead of trying to read
three chapters of the Bible every day,
you could start with reading just three
verses a day. Become consistent with
three verses, and over time you can
add more to your readings.
Here’s another idea to consider: Link
your new spiritual habit to something
you’re already doing. If it’s a part of
your daily routine, you won’t have as
much trouble remembering to do it.
Here are some habits you may want
to try:
• Listen to a chapter of an audio Bible
while you eat breakfast.
• Enjoy some worship music on your
way to school.
• Pray for the people you see in the
hallway as you walk to class.
• Write a verse you want to memorize
at the top of your weekly planner,
then recite it each time you check
your schedule.
• Journal one or two sentences of
gratitude before you get into bed.
Create your spiritual rhythm
Each of these recommendations is
a spiritual habit—a practice we can
repeat day after day to focus on God.
When we stack these spiritual habits
throughout our day, we develop
spiritual rhythms in our life. So, no
more waiting for the perfect time or
place—let’s craft a spiritual rhythm!
Step one. Start with one
spiritual habit and practice it until
it becomes an automatic part of your
daily routine. Try to make it enjoyable
by using colored pencils in your Bible
or writing what you learn in a journal.
Step two. Talk with God and a
trusted adult about your spiritual
habit. Tell God what you’re learning
in your Bible reading or what you’re
enjoying most about your new spiritual
habit. Consider talking to a trusted
adult about what’s working and what
you might need to change.
Step three. Stack your habits to
develop a spiritual rhythm. After
you master this first spiritual habit, add
a second habit and then a third. Over
time, you’ll develop a daily spiritual
rhythm that is as unique as you are.
The Bible assures us that God is
available to us anytime, day or night:
“You will seek me and find me, when you
seek me with all your heart” (Jeremiah
29:13). So, whether you’re new to
reading the Bible or you’ve grown up
going to church, you can develop a
spiritual rhythm that helps you get to
know and love your Creator more.
Asheritah Ciuciu is a bestselling author and
speaker, wife to her high school sweetheart
and mama to three spunky kiddos. Her
passion is to help women enjoy God through
creative Bible study habits.
22 AUGUST / SEPTEMBER 2020 BRIOMAGAZINE.CA

Developing
spiritual habits
There are a variety of spiritual habits
to practice. Consider the following:
Attend church regularly.
Participate in a youth group.
Fellowship with other believers.
Serve in your community.
Worship the Lord through
music, dance, art, writing, etc.
Read the Bible.
Pray regularly.
Memorize Scripture.
Give thanks.
Practice generosity.
Share the Good News
of the Gospel with others.
WHAT ARE SOME OTHER SPIRITUAL HABITS
YOU COULD PRACTICE AS YOU DEVELOP
SPIRITUAL RHYTHMS?
@BRIOMAGAZINE AUGUST / SEPTEMBER 2020
23

Prayer Journal
As you talk with God about all that’s in your heart, feel free to
journal your prayers, doodle Scriptures and save lyrics or quotes
that encourage or inspire you.
Where Do You Run?
BY KIRSTIN LEIGH
Growing up, there were days when
I wanted to hide under the covers
until circumstances changed. Until
the rumors died. Until I was older—or
at least until the pimples on my face
disappeared.
Jesus affirms that we all will have
trouble in this life (John 16:33). So, no
matter our age, when circumstances
change and times get difficult, the
question remains the same. Where do
we run?
Oftentimes, instead of running to
God with our problems, we try to run
away from them. We seek comfort and
refuge in everything but God. We run to
the refrigerator, TV or social media to
try to “escape.” But those temporary
fixes are just that—temporary.
Jesus tells us, in Matthew 11:28, to
come to Him when we are weary and
burdened. He will give us rest, and His
comfort won’t be temporary. But first,
we need to choose to run to Him.
Let’s take a look at the psalmist
David. In 1 Samuel 17, David volunteers
to fight a large and strong Philistine
champion named Goliath. Although
David may not have known exactly
how he was going to defeat the giant,
he knew the God he served. God had
already delivered him from a lion and
a bear (verse 37), so David chose to
remember God’s faithfulness and
trusted Him despite the circumstances.
You and I can do the same. As we
face difficult situations in life, we can
take comfort in verses like Psalm 18:2
and Proverbs 18:10. When we run to
God we are safe.
Where do you feel the need for
rescue? Jot down a few verses that
speak into your situation, and then
pause to reflect on God’s faithfulness
in your life. Then, choose to run to
Him.
Kirstin Leigh is a Christian speaker, author,
singer and screenwriter.
24 AUGUST / SEPTEMBER 2020 BRIOMAGAZINE.CA

Prayer Journal
" The L ord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom
I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold."
—Psalm 18:2
@BRIOMAGAZINE AUGUST / SEPTEMBER 2020
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