Focus on the Family Magazine - December 2023/January 2024

JERRY B. JENKINS: 

FAITH, FICTION 

AND THE POWER 

OF STORY 

Helping Families Thrive in Christ 

DEC 2023 / JAN 2024 

QUESTIONS 

THAT LEAD 

TO JESUS 

SAFETY VIOLATION ZONE copy in this zone not safe per trim variance (.25 inch). 

BEYOND THEIR 

WISH LISTS 

Encourage your kids to serve others 

this Christmas 

page 12

Canadian families need hope 

so they don’t give up! 

“ 

The messages my 

children are receiving 

at school and from friends 

conflict with what 

we’re teaching them 

from the Bible. 

how do I help them 

reconcile these 

differences? 

” 

“ 

I’m 

feeling torn 

between raising my children and 

caring for my aging parent. 

how do I do this well? 

” 

“ 

How can I connect 

with my adult children 

“ 

We 

just had our first child 

and I’m not sure how 

I can cope right now, 

it all feels so overwhelming. ” 

who have walked away 

from their faith? 

” 

You can bring them the practical, biblically based 

support they need to move forward and thrive. 

You can donate today! 

visit <strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca/GiveJoy 

or call 1.800.661.9800 

Y o u r gift will make a di f f e r e nc e for fa m i l i e s 

t h i s christ m a s and in the Yea r ahea d!

12 


table of contents 

28 

SHANNON ASSOCIATES - KIRK DOUPONCE / ADOBE STOCK - TWINS DESIGN STUDIO / KARLA ALCAZAR / ISTOCK - ALONZODESIGN 

in every issue 

4 LETTER FROM THE PRESIDENT 

5 MINISTRY SPOTLIGHT 

6 OFF THE SHELF 

8 HACKS & FACTS 

18 ADULT KIDS 

41 MEMORY VERSE 

44 GRANDPARENTING 

46 MY THRIVING FAMILY 

kids & teens 

12 BEYOND THEIR WISH LISTS 

Encourage your kids to serve 

others this Christmas 

by Kay Wills Wyma 

17 ‘MOM, WHAT DOES 

NONBINARY MEAN?’ 

by Adam Holz 

37 

25 

couples 

20 CHRISTMAS WITH 

THE IN-LAWS 

8 expert tips to help you 

and your spouse navigate 

extended family differences 

by Cara Plett 

25 12 GIFTS YOU SHOULD 

NEVER GIVE YOUR SPOUSE 

by Kat Bittner 

faith & 

inspiration 

28 FAITH, FICTION AND 

THE POWER OF STORY 

Changing lives one 

novel at a time 

by Jerry B. Jenkins 

33 QUESTIONS THAT LEAD 

TO JESUS 

The what, why and 

wondering approach 

to evangelism 

by Andy Bannister 

37 AN ADVENT JOURNEY 

Discovering God’s hope, 

peace, joy and love through 

Scripture 

by <strong>Focus</strong> on the Family Canada 

42 MOVIE MESSAGES: FROZEN 

Seek and find worldviews 

while having fun as a family 

by Plugged In staff 

DEC 2023 / JAN 2024 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY CANADA 3

LETTER FROM THE PRESIDENT 

4 

Jean-Paul Beran is 

president of <strong>Focus</strong> on 

the Family Canada. 

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY CANADA 

IN THE BERAN HOUSEHOLD, 

we take Christmas very seriously. My wife, 

Susan, and I have a list of family traditions 

that we still do even though our daughters 

are teenagers. We love that this time of 

year gives us a great opportunity to make 

lasting memories for our family. 

But we never want to lose sight of the 

real reason for the season. 

Christmas is not about buying the perfect present or skiing 

snowy slopes or enjoying hot chocolate by the fire—though those 

are enjoyable! Christmas is about celebrating the ultimate gift God 

has given us: Jesus Christ. 

Susan and I are intentional about keeping Christ at the centre 

of our Christmas celebrations, and I pray that you’ll find encouragement 

in the pages of this issue to do the same. One of the best 

ways to do this is through an Advent devotional. Advent begins 

four Sundays before Christmas on Dec. 3, and on page 37, you’ll 

see the first few days of our free Advent devotional download, An 

Advent Journey. Instead of stopping at Christmas, though, this PDF 

provides you with four full weeks (28 days) of scriptural reflection 

to help you put Christ at the forefront of your mind. You can 

download the full devotional at <strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca/Advent. 

And remember if you need help, we’re just a click, email 

and phone call away. I invite you to visit our website at 

<strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca, email us at info@fotf.ca or call our team 

at 1.800.661.9800. Whatever you’re going through this Christmas 

and New Year season, we are here for you. 

Blessings, 

Jean-Paul Beran 


focusing on 

Christ this 

Christmas 

JOSH YONG 

president 

Jim Daly 

focus canada 

president 

Jean-Paul Beran 

chief operating 

o ffi c e r 

Ken Windebank 

chief marketing 

& content officer 

Tim Sawer 

publisher 

Jennifer Arthur 

media publishing 

director 

Kevin Shirin 

contributing editors 

Vance Fry 

Marianne Hering 

Jennifer Lonas 

Jeff Masching 

cover 

Drazen Zigic 

editorial director 

Sheila Seifert 

Thank you! 

<strong>Focus</strong> on the Family provides this magazine and 

other resources through the generosity of friends 

like you. <strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca/Donate 

For a subscription, go to <strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca/ 

Magazine. 

<strong>Focus</strong> on the Family magazine December 2023 / January 

2024, Vol. 8, No. 6 ISSN 2471-5921, © 2023 <strong>Focus</strong> on 

the Family. All rights reserved. Published by <strong>Focus</strong> 

on the Family, a nonprofit organization recognized 

for tax-deductible giving by the federal government. 

<strong>Focus</strong> on the Family is a federally registered 

trademark of <strong>Focus</strong> on the Family. 

To notify us of an address change or to contact <strong>Focus</strong> 

on the Family Canada: 1-800-661-9800; 

19946 80A Ave, Langley, BC, V2Y 0J8; info@fotf.ca 

Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are 

from the Holy Bible, English Standard Version ® (ESV ® ). 

Copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry 

of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All 

rights reserved. The ESV text may not be quoted in 

any publication made available to the public by a 

Creative Commons license. The ESV may not be 

translated in whole or in part into any other 

language. ESV Text Edition: 2016. 

IMPORTANT NOTICE! By submitting letters and other 

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Printed in Canada. 

managing editor 

Andrea Gutierrez 

copy chief 

Scott DeNicola 

associate editors 

Sarah Brickens 

Faith Wismer 

senior art director 

Cary Bates 

art director 

Sally Dunn 

designer 

Julie Vieux 

editorial assistant 

Kat Bittner 

print production 

Gail Wise 

circulation 

Erika Lynch 

focus canada 

contributors 

Cara Plett 

Amanda Regan 

Subby Szterszky 

Amy Van Veen

HELPING YOUR FAMILY THRIVE 

MINISTRY 

spotlight 

Highlighting one of the many 

ministries of <strong>Focus</strong> on the Family 

Canada 

<strong>Focus</strong> on the Family Canada’s Clergy Care 

Network celebrates 20 years! 

Back in the early 2000s, a taskforce was formed by the 

Evangelical Fellowship of Canada (EFC), <strong>Focus</strong> on the 

Family Canada and several denominations. The goal was 

to find a way to provide clergy with anonymous, confidential 

support so they could get the help they need for the 

personal and ministry issues they were facing. Being a pastor 

is a rewarding experience, but many often feel alone in 

their leadership. They may be hesitant to go to their denominational 

leaders for help or they may be isolated in a rural 

location. 

In 2003, <strong>Focus</strong> on the Family Canada established the 

Clergy Care Network (CCN), offering a safe place for ministry 

leaders and their family to get help. 

Initially it began as a phone-in counselling line 

(1.888.5.CLERGY) staffed by professional counsellors with 

ministry experience. In 2009, the counselling line opened up 

to general calls from anyone who needed a one-time phone 

consultation. Today clergy-related calls make up 10% to 12% 

of the total call volume. 

Typical call topics include issues like depression, anxiety, 

staff conflict, burnout, ministry transition and family issues. 

Now, 20 years later, we continue to partner with several 

denominations, but our free counselling is available 

to pastors, missionaries and family members, regardless of 

denominational affiliation. 

In addition to the phone counselling, there is also a website 

filled with articles and relevant resources for pastors 

(ClergyCare.ca) and a monthly e-newsletter (<strong>Focus</strong> on 

Pastors). 

Everyone needs support from time to time, and pastors 

are no different. They have work pressures, personal challenges 

and family issues like the rest of us, and by providing 

a safe place for them to make a confidential call, we are 

equipping them to be healthy individuals, healthy spouses, 

healthy parents and healthy leaders. 

Learn more about this initiative for clergy 

and their families. 

ClergyCare.ca 


OFF THE SHELF 

FIND THESE BOOKS 

AND MORE AT 

Shop.<strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca 

fun for 

the whole 

family 

BOARD BOOKS 

The Tiny Truths Bible 

for Little Ones 

by Joanna Rivard 

and Tim Penner 

Turtle Finds His Talent 

by Lucille Williams 

OFF THE 

SHELF 

Christian reads 

for the family 

BY SHEILA SEIFERT 

AS A CHILD, I read a historical 

novel about Catherine the 

Great, who didn’t do what she 

wanted to do and did what was 

right for her adopted country. 

Her sacrificial love later helped 

me understand the magnitude 

of what Jesus had sacrificed 

for me. In the same way, 

fiction entertains, but sometimes 

it also demonstrates 

faith principles in the lives of 

its characters. Here are two 

authors who strive to impart 

God’s truths in their fun-toread 

middle-grade books: 

“D.L. Moody is quoted as saying, ‘If I could relive 

my life, I would devote my entire ministry to 

reaching children for God.’ Today’s child, more 

than ever, needs clear biblical foundations to 

build upon—along with enough comedy and 

entertainment to hold their attention. These are 

my goals in writing ‘The Magnificent Mulligans’ 

book series—the adventures of eight brothers 

and sisters working together to run their 

family’s wild animal park . . . as told by their 

pet chimpanzee.” 

—Bill Myers, bestselling author 

“Though Brother Andrew looked and acted differently 

than my character, I loosely based the Bible 

smuggler in my book Big Risks in Russia on the 

life of this Dutch missionary. I also had cousins 

who smuggled Bibles in the 1980s. They gave me 

details about how guards took apart cars and then 

left them. Reality is different than fiction, but my 

hope is that this story will inspire others to bravely 

follow Jesus and be willing to risk for others in 

need. Brother Andrew died while I was writing this 

book, but the faith legacy of what he did lives on.” 

—Marianne Hering, award-winning author 

PICTURE BOOKS 

Otter B Friendly 

Book No. 12 in the 

“Otter B” series 

by Pamela Kennedy 

and Anne Kennedy Brady 

Since the Baby Came 

by Kathleen Long Bostrom 

KIDS BOOKS 

Smoke in the Air! 

Book No. 3 in 

“The Magnificent 

Mulligans” series 

by Bill Myers 

Big Risks in Russia 

Book No. 31 in 

“The Imagination Station” series 

by Marianne Hering 

YA NOVELS 

The Second Storm 


“High Water” series 

by Tim Shoemaker 

Heart of Belonging 


“Riverbend Friends” series 

by C.J. Darlington 

BOOKS FOR ADULTS 

Elisabeth Elliot: A Life 

by Lucy S.R. Austen 

The Woman from Lydia 

by Angela Hunt 

GOOD PHOTO - BECKY KYLE 

6 


DEC 2023 / JAN 2024

kids & 

teens 

“I AIM TO CREATE AN 

OTHERS-CENTERED 

ATMOSPHERE IN OUR 

HOME, AN ENVIRONMENT 

OF GIVING AND SERVICE 

DURING THE HOLIDAYS. 

WHEN OUR EYES ARE 

FOCUSED ELSEWHERE, 

THERE’S A LOT LESS 

TIME AND ENERGY TO 

FOCUS ON WHAT WE’RE 

GETTING THIS YEAR.” 

—KAY WILLS WYMA, PAGE 12 

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KIDS & TEENS / CHRISTMAS SECRETS 

HACKS & FACTS 

SHHH! 

Like most kids, our 8-year-old 

daughter enjoys receiving gifts, 

but Addie loves being on the giving 

end to watch the reaction from 

whomever is receiving her gift. To 

help keep her gifts a surprise, we 

tell her, “Remember, it’s our secret” 

(with a wink). She and her dad have 

become great at pulling surprises. 

My husband has a way of making 

gift giving feel like being a part of a 

super-secret mission. The anticipation 

helps Addie keep quiet and wait 

for the big reveal! 

—Lisa Johnson 

Peter Rabbit 

keeps a secret 

When we purchased a new guitar 

for my son for Christmas, I explained 

to our 4-year-old daughter that the 

gift needed to be kept a secret. She 

confessed that it would be difficult 

to keep quiet about the surprise. I 

told her she could share the secret 

with Peter Rabbit, her favorite plush 

toy—but only if she thought she 

could trust him to keep the surprise. 

It was so sweet to watch her cuddle 

Peter in her lap, put her mouth 

up to his ear and whisper her secret. 

Throughout the next few weeks, 

I’d see her continue whispering to 

Peter. She told me she was reminding 

him not to ruin the surprise. 

Come Christmas morning, she 

had to have Peter in attendance 

when the surprise was revealed. My 

daughter hugged Peter and told him 

how proud she was that he’d kept 

the secret. 

—Jami Thornsberry 

Gift Idea 

FROM FOCUS ON 

THE FAMILY 

Written by Pamela 

Kennedy and Anne 

Kennedy Brady, Otter 

B Joyful is the seventh 

in a series of children’s books that 

teach young children basic biblical 

values. Also get Otter B the 

stuffed animal! 

Shop.<strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca/ 

OtterB 

ILLUSTRATIONX - SAMY LOWE / ADOBE STOCK - YULIIA 

8 



CHRISTMAS SECRETS / KIDS & TEENS 

under wraps 

Our kids don’t shake or squeeze their 

gifts to try and discover the contents. 

Instead, our family started a fun variation 

of gift giving that has become 

a Christmas tradition. I assign a special 

wrapping paper for each child’s 

gifts. What’s the catch? The kids don’t 

know which gift wrapping belongs to 

them, and I don’t put names on the 

gifts because my husband and I know 

whose are whose. The kids always 

enjoy discovering which wrapping 

paper we chose for them and what’s 

inside each package. 

—Shelly Snead 

color coded 

Gift Idea 

FROM FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 

DANGER ON A SILENT NIGHT 

by Marianne Hering and Nancy I. Sanders 

Danger on a Silent Night is the 12th 

book in “The Imagination Station” 

series, in which children are taught 

biblical lessons through familiar stories. 

Shop.<strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca/Imagination 

One unique way we helped our kids keep a Christmas gift as a 

surprise was by creating a secret code. We assigned each family 

member a color, and any time we needed to talk about Christmas 

gifts or plans, we’d use the color code instead of names. For 

example, “Green needs to go buy Red’s gift” instead of “Mom 

needs to go buy Dad’s gift.” This way, the kids couldn’t accidentally 

slip up and reveal any surprises. 

—Spencer York 

HACKS & FACTS 

Gift Idea 

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KIDS & TEENS / CHRISTMAS STORY 

HACKS & FACTS 

an interactive 

Nativity 

I have multiple Nativity sets, which 

I allow my kids to incorporate into 

playtime. Using dinosaurs, action 

figures and toy cars, the kids take 

baby Jesus on all kinds 

of adventures! 

—Elizabeth James 

let your light shine 

At Christmas, our family gathers in a small, dark room in our house and discusses 

how the world was living in darkness. As we recount the story of Jesus’ 

birth, we pass out candles and light them so they illuminate the room. Then 

we talk about how Jesus came as the Light of the World. 

an almost accurate story 

—Alyssa Pruitt 

One Christmas, I wrote down the Christmas story as told by my children. I put 

it on the inside of our Christmas cards for everyone to read. Here is the last bit 

to give you a sample of how my children have begun to know the story. 

• Jonathan (5): Then wise men came and gave gifts for the baby Jesus Christ. 

• Sarah (7): No, it wasn’t “Christ” yet. Just “Jesus.” 

I plan to do this every year so I can see how they mature in their understanding 

of the Nativity and its significance to our faith. 

—Jesse Neve 

A STABLE 

LESSON 

One Christmas, I took my kids to 

a local farm where we saw many 

sheep and other animals. The kids 

observed the sounds and smells 

while we discussed Jesus coming 

from heaven to be born in a stable— 

lying in a feeding trough while surrounded 

by farm animals. It was such 

a simple, profound activity. 

—Courtney Roberts 

back to 

Bethlehem 

I call one of our 

Christmas traditions 

“Back to Bethlehem.” 

On Christmas Eve, 

we take an imaginary 

adventure to 

Bethlehem, just before 

Jesus was born. We 

sit on the floor for 

a candlelit, Middle 

Eastern-style meal. 

We even dress in 

period-appropriate 

clothing with sheets 

for tunics and homemade 

headdresses. I 

usually serve simple 

foods such as hummus, 

rice, grapes, olives and 

pita bread. 

During dinner we 

discuss why Jesus 

came—that He arrived 

in Bethlehem on God’s 

mission to save humankind 

from our sins. It’s 

been a huge success, 

and every year they ask 

me if we can do “the 

special meal” again. 

—Christina Johnson 

ILLUSTRATIONX - SAMY LOWE / ADOBE STOCK - MNSTUDIO 

10 



LOVING CHURCH / KIDS & TEENS 

HACKS & FACTS 

INVITATION TO CELEBRATE 

We made Sunday a special day for our family by making a list of people we wanted to invite to church. On 

Saturdays we’d visit a family member or two from the list and invite them to our church. We started out inviting 

extended family members, but soon extended the invite to friends, as well. 

Then, early Sunday morning, we’d all get together for breakfast doughnuts. After church, we’d enjoy lunch 

together. This let the children see that church is more than what they see as a boring service on Sunday. It can be 

a whole weekend celebration with family and friends. 

—Angela Pratt 

ADOBE STOCK - KRAKENIMAGES 

value of volunteering 

We discovered that volunteering in children’s ministry with 

our kids gave them a better attitude about attending church. 

My husband and I were involved in preschool children’s ministry, 

and our kids helped so that we could minister together 

as a family. 

But when our kids seemed unmotivated or exhausted, we 

let them have a worship day instead. Releasing them from 

a sense of duty took the pressure off, which taught them 

that our relationship with Christ and one another was more 

important than their obligation to serve. 

—Donna Elizabeth Love 

making friends 

Our daughters love going to church. One 

way that we’ve unintentionally—but effectively—cultivated 

this enthusiasm is by pursuing 

friendships with other families from church, 

especially families with young children. We 

meet with them for dinners, park dates or afternoons 

in each other’s houses. This has grown a 

love for our church family so much so that our 

girls are genuinely excited to be with everyone 

when we gather on Sundays. 

—Amber Bulk 


KIDS & TEENS / SERVICE 

BEYOND 

THEIR 

WISH LISTS 

Encourage your 

kids to serve others 

this Christmas 

BY KAY WILLS WYMA 

ILLUSTRATIONS BY ORIOL VIDALOR 

WHEN WE WERE KIDS, my sister and I knew that the 

Christmas season had arrived when the Sears catalog came sliding 

through the mail slot. Oh, the excitement and the contemplation to 

come! We’d sit for hours on our shag-carpeted floor, flipping pages 

and clipping items to arrange on our gift lists, new versions of which 

were promptly handed to our mother. Come Christmas Eve, we fully 

expected to find the goods beneath the tree, hidden in bright boxes 

with bows. So, in our home, the arrival of Christmas was proclaimed 

with wish lists and store catalogs. 

Sure, we celebrated the true reason for the season. In school programs 

we dressed in white and announced in accidental harmony the 

arrival of the King. But I can’t deny that, for me, the holiday was all 

about the gifts. Correction: all about receiving gifts. 

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Eyes focused elsewhere 

Today, I watch my kids walking the same road. Can you blame 

them? Children throughout the generations have delighted in the 

mystery and excitement of Christmas gifts. And then there is the 

truth that Christmas is absolutely about gifts, or more accurately, 

the gift. The gift that cost the Giver everything—the gift of a Savior. 

And so I find myself torn between the childhood joy of Christmas 

and a desire to celebrate the season in a way that reflects our 

family’s faith and values. 

It seems that Christmas moves us toward competing behaviors. 

On one side, we praise God for the birth of our Savior. On the other 

side we . . . scramble. And shop. And delight in all the loot. Around 

our house, the moods on Christmas Day are often directly dependent 

on the perfection of the gifts received. Those gifts are talked 

about at school and with friends for weeks on end. How many conversations 

begin with, “What did you get for Christmas?” 

I want my kids to experience more of the truth behind 

Christmas so our family can be freed from the culture’s tradition 

of making it about ourselves and the things we accumulate. I want 

them to genuinely celebrate and worship—and yet still enjoy the 

gifts they receive in remembrance of the gift of the Savior. To do 

so, I aim to create an others-centered atmosphere in our home, an 

environment of giving and service during the holidays. When our 

eyes are focused elsewhere, there’s a lot less time and energy to 

focus on what we’re getting this year. 

Sign up today at 

App.AdventuresInOdyssey.com 

or call 

1.844.622.9448 

Baby steps to an 

others-centered mindset 

I couldn’t help but think about my days scouring the Sears catalog 

when I recently saw my son doing the same thing through a newspaper 

flyer. Checking it all out, he had marked with a highlighter a 

number of things he wanted for Christmas. 

“What are you up to?” I asked in the way parents do—already 

knowing the answer. 

“Oh, I just thought I’d show you a few things I want.” 

I looked at his choices. Nothing wrong with any of them. “Did 

you see anything for your sister?” 

“No.” Pause. “I was just looking for me.” 

Well, at least he was being honest. Often, I’m probably doing 

ADOBE STOCK - TWINS DESIGN STUDIO

SERVICE / KIDS & TEENS 

Not (Just) About Me 

Ideas for encouraging 

a spirit of giving 

Give when you get. Encourage your kids 

to give away a toy every time a new one is 

received, or brainstorm how to “pay-forward” 

favors from friends and neighbors. As your 

kids make their wish lists for Christmas, have 

them also make a “Give List”—a list of items 

they plan to make, donate or buy for friends 

and neighbors in need. 

the same thing—looking out for me. But throughout the year— 

and especially as the catalogs and commercialism of Christmas 

arrive—I’m learning that there are opportunities to nudge our 

kids toward having an attitude and an awareness of blessing others. 

One year, I actually took my kids’ wish lists and purchased 

and wrapped a few of the coveted items. I then encouraged them 

to give those packages to someone in need, someone who would 

be thrilled to receive these things. It’s not something I’d try often, 

but for once I wanted my kids to recognize how giving away the 

gift they wanted is quite a profound act. 

The delight of unexpected kindness 

Here’s a fun family meeting idea: With your kids, consider for a 

moment who in your circle of acquaintances has had a hard year. 

Has someone lost a job or a loved one? Or are they simply alone? 

Neighbors, close friends, someone from school—whoever the 

individuals are, keep them in mind as you head to the store for 

one of your Christmas shopping outings. As a family, wrap and 

label the gifts, and deliver them as Christmas approaches. I have 

friends who, on Christmas Eve, deliver gifts anonymously. They 

park a few houses away with their lights off and send swift and 

speedy family members to place the gifts on the stoop. Then they 

ring the bell and run. 

Talk the walk. So many of life’s lessons are 

caught, not taught. Have you modeled a 

heart of generosity? In your conversations 

around the home, and in your family prayers, 

help your kids “catch” positive language that 

reflects your family’s desire to give and help 

others. 

Think outside the box. Not every Christmas 

gift has to come wrapped in pretty paper 

or include a gift card. Encourage your kids 

to think of how they can use their time and 

skills to give to others. Is there a neighbor 

who needs help with yard work or snow 

removal? Is there a friend at church who 

would love to learn how to ice skate or play 

chess? Can teens babysit for a busy couple 

who have just welcomed a child into their 

home? 

Make it a team effort. Spending family time 

meeting others’ needs by way of service 

projects or ministries helps your kids realize 

how much they really have. It also creates 

healthy patterns of “others-mindedness.” As 

your kids grow older, church ministries and 

other service opportunities will seem less 

intimidating because giving will have always 

been a part of your family culture. 

—Kate Motaung 


KIDS & TEENS / SERVICE 

The pen is mightier . . . 

Sometimes the most effective way to bless someone is 

pretty simple. Culture has trained us to believe that blessings 

arrive in pretty boxes accompanied by gift receipts. 

But time and commitment to a relationship are often the 

better gift. 

A friend inspired me recently through her dedication to 

a passing art form: the handwritten note. She sits with her 

children and pulls them out of texting mode for an evening, 

encouraging them to do what our grandparents did—simply 

write a letter about stuff. If you want to do the same, 

you can have your kids write about the simple things— 

that recent math test, a funny story, the friends they hang 

out with, what they’re worried or excited about. One of 

the sweetest by-products of this others-centered, outsidetheir-comfort-zone 

exercise is creativity. Encourage your 

children to use skills learned in school to bless others, 

especially those in their lives who may feel forgotten. And 

though Christmas is a great time to begin this exercise, it’s 

best if the gift is one of an ongoing commitment. Christmas 

letters in July? Why not? 

A multitude of opportunities 

There are countless “others-centered” activities at our fingertips. 

We don’t have to look far to find a homeless shelter 

needing supplies or a soup kitchen needing hands or a 

food bank needing shelf stockers. There are children who 

need warm clothes, neighbors who need help or friendship. 

Have we slowed down enough to know? Have we trained 

our kids to look outside themselves to see? 

I often try to connect an others-centered worldview with 

the positive effects it has on us. So, after my family and I 

give our time or our resources, I ask the question, “How 

does it feel?” When done on the sly, without getting something 

in return, the pure act of giving jolts even the jaded. 

One year, my family made a trip to the dollar store, 

where we all pooled our money to buy coloring books 

requested by a local organization that provided disadvantaged 

kids with wrapped gifts. 

My kids raced to the back of the store where the books 

resided. They perused all the options, loading our cart with 

a variety of books for girls and a separate stack for boys. As 

they worked, it struck them that each of these books would 

be some child’s Christmas gift. 

THE PEACE PROJECT: A 30-DAY 

EXPERIMENT PRACTICING THANK- 

FULNESS, KINDNESS AND MERCY 

by Kay Wills Wyma 

This 30-day experiment invites you to experience 

personal peace through the outward practices of 

thankfulness, kindness and mercy. In these hopeful 

pages, Kay encourages us to see others—as well 

as ourselves—not as obstacles but as people of 

great worth. 


“Is this all these kids are getting for Christmas?” one child 

asked. 

“I don’t know, sweetheart. I do know that each kid will at 

least get to open something.” 

The others pondered this. “We have to get them markers, 

too,” one said. 

I watched and soaked in the moment. As we drove away, my 

passenger-seat child floated some music my way: “You know, 

Mom. I really don’t need anything for Christmas.” 

“What do you mean?” I asked. 

“Well . . . it’s just . . . I don’t need anything.” 

I didn’t press him. We both understood. Faced with the fact 

that lots of kids would be thrilled to get a coloring book and 

markers—items my kids might consider peripheral—it made 

the hoped-for iPad a bit less desirable. 

My husband, Jon, and I never want our kids to feel guilty 

about receiving gifts during this joy-filled season. We want 

them to freely enjoy the gifts they get in the same way that 

our heavenly Father wants us to enjoy the wonderful and 

amazing gifts bestowed on us. But my hope and prayer are 

that remembering others this season and meeting needs will 

move the hearts and minds of my kids. What I hope they’ll 

gain is a clear recognition of the greatest gift ever given. 

Kay Wills Wyma is the author of The Peace Project: A 30-day experiment 

practicing thankfulness, kindness and mercy. 

This article was first published in the December 2012 edition of Thriving 

Family magazine. © 2012 Kay Wills Wyma. All rights reserved. Used with 

permission. 

ADOBE CREDIT STOCK TK - TWINS DESIGN STUDIO 

16 



MEDIA / KIDS & TEENS 

UPCOMING REVIEWS 

For reviews of these and other titles, 

visit PluggedIn.com, <strong>Focus</strong> on the Family’s 

media review and discernment website. 

‘MOM, WHAT DOES 

NONBINARY MEAN?’ 

BY ADAM HOLZ 

MAYBE YOUR KIDS haven’t asked about LGBT issues 

yet. But given our current cultural climate, the topic may 

come up sooner than later. 

The mainstream entertainment world has embraced a 

pro-LGBT worldview. Those ideas increasingly permeate 

kids’ entertainment, whether it’s the nonbinary character in 

Pixar’s Elemental, pro-trans messaging in Spider-Man: Across 

the Spider-Verse or the robot Nightshade in “Transformers: 

EarthSpark,” who goes by they/them pronouns. It’s getting 

hard to find children’s programming that’s not pushing 

these messages. 

So how should parents respond? 

First, even if we prefer to avoid these topics, the mainstream 

culture is infusing them into everything we watch. So, 

instead of having a singular “talk,” we need to have ongoing, 

age-appropriate conversations. 

These conversations involve teaching what Scripture says 

about God’s purpose and intent for sexuality. There, we see 

that God designed sex as a good and beautiful gift, but one 

intended for expression in marriage between a man and a 

woman. 

As far as entertainment goes, we’ll likely say no to many 

products preaching an unbiblical worldview. That said, 

some examples could create opportunities to practice thinking 

critically and biblically by asking basic questions: What 

is the message here? How does that line up with Scripture? 

What ideas do they want viewers to embrace? 

These won’t always be easy conversations. But initiating 

them shows our kids that we’re not afraid to talk about LGBT 

issues, and that we’re willing to discuss them with truth and 

grace from a biblical perspective. 

WONKA 

What adventures 

await a young 

Willy before 

opening his 

famous chocolate 

factory? 

SCHEDULED RELEASE: 

DEC. 15 

AQUAMAN AND THE LOST KINGDOM 

Will Arthur find a way to save Atlantis from an 

ancient power? 

SCHEDULED RELEASE: DEC. 20 

MIGRATION 

Can a family of ducks 

find their way from 

New England to 

the Bahamas? 

SCHEDULED RELEASE: 

DEC. 22 

IMDB 

Adam Holz is the director of Plugged In. He and his wife, Jennifer, have 

three children. 


KIDS & TEENS / ADULT KIDS 

no more ‘drill 

sergeant’ mom 

Relating to our 

children as adults 

BY GRACE ASSANTE 

WHILE I WAS VISITING 

my son’s family, my son proudly 

pointed out the schedule he’d 

created for his two preschool 

children. He had mapped out 

their daily routine on a whiteboard 

and mounted it on their 

dining room wall. Blocks of time 

for meals, play, reading and rest 

were clearly and colorfully displayed. 

My son added stickers and pictures 

so his children could anticipate what 

was next, even without an adult’s 

assistance. 

As I gazed at the board, my son 

asked, “What do you think, Mom?” 

I could have offered a response he 

would have appreciated: 

“I can see you really worked hard on 

that schedule.” 

“Please make a daily schedule for 

me! Grandma needs it, too.” 

But sadly, I didn’t say these things. 

Instead, I said something like this: 

“You know, your kids are too young for 

a schedule. They just need to play.” 

My son’s expression registered 

disappointment and annoyance. I 

immediately realized my blunder. I 

had not only overstepped a boundary; 

I had missed an opportunity to 

express love and support for him as 

a father. 

My criticism also revealed my 

need for control. When my children 

were young, I set the bedtime schedule, 

arranged playdates, planned and 

prepared the meals and read to them. 

Everyone looked to me to plan the 

day. Now, my son had stepped up as a 

dad to help his wife by planning daily 

activities for their small children. But 

my “drill sergeant Mom” tendencies 

resurfaced with a knee-jerk reaction to 

anyone making a plan except me. 

I apologized, and he forgave me, but 

I regretted not supporting his efforts 

as a father. 

Learning to relate to our children as 

adults and parents can be challenging. 

It can also be tempting to critique their 

plans and efforts. 

I often wish someone had shared 

this parenting advice with me: 

• As your children grow, start letting 

go of the controls and allow them to 

make their own decisions. 

• Relax and let your adult children 

implement their plans without critique 

or criticism. 

• Look for opportunities to affirm and 

support your adult children. 

One of the greatest rewards of having 

adult kids is watching them make 

healthy, life-giving decisions for 

their own families. Don’t miss out on 

opportunities to experience this joy! • 

Grace Assante loves stories of redemption. 

Her devotions and articles have appeared 

in various publications. 

ILLUSTRATIONX - SAMY LOWE 

18 



couples 

“THANKS BE TO 

GOD FOR HIS 

INEXPRESSIBLE 

GIFT!” 

—2 CORINTHIANS 9:15 

ADOBE STOCK - PIXEL-SHOT 


couples / IN-LAWS 

Christmas with the in-laws 

8 expert tips to help you and your spouse 

navigate extended family differences 

BY CARA PLETT 

FOR 11 MONTHS out of the year it can 

be tough enough to navigate two sets of in-laws, 

each with their own rules, be they strict or lax; 

their own inside jokes, be they dry or daffy; 

and their own set of manners, be they poor or 

pristine. 

Now add to the agenda bright lights, seasonal 

soundtracks, deep-rooted traditions, family photos 

and heightened emotions—that’s right, it’s 

Christmas! 

Perhaps in your family, Christmas celebration 

is a simple, solemn, dimly lit meal on Christmas 

Eve. The whirring of classical holiday hymns on 

the record player sets the serene mood—even 

before the tryptophan kicks in. 

Now what about your spouse’s parents? Get 

set for a three-day weekend packed with gingerbread-house-building 

competitions, Christmas 

cracker explosions and a PJ-all-day dress code. 

And as for background tunes? Alvin and the 

Chipmunks blare through the surround sound. 

Before you turn into the Scrooge of your 

brood, though, don’t forget that you’re an in-law 

too! How does your spouse’s family enjoy spending 

the holidays with you? What must they think 

when you whip out that elf suit for Mr. Bobbles, 

the family cat? 

Whoever you are and whomever you’re celebrating 

with, read on for expert tips on how to 

have a happy family holiday! 

20 



IN-LAWS / couples 

Holiday how-tos for 

happy in-laws and you 

Every family is different, and those differences 

become especially apparent during the holidays. 

As Christians we know that the true reason for 

the season is the gift of our Lord Jesus Christ, and 

what better reason to make this Christmas one of 

peace and family unity? 

But how do you do that? Here are eight tips 

from people who know how to get your holiday 

off to a good start: 

ISTOCK - SHIRONOSOV, ELENAMEDVEDEVA 

1 

Who, when, where? 

Mike* and Leah* were caught between 

two sets of in-laws—both local, both 

huge Christmas celebrators. To be fair, 

they made the decision as a couple to 

spend Christmas Eve with Leah’s parents 

and Christmas Day with Mike’s, 

with the plan to alternate every year. 

But when Mike’s parents found out, 

they had another idea. They suggested 

spreading the Christmas cheer (and 

food) out a bit so everyone could have 

a more relaxed holiday. And that’s the 

year the couple celebrated Christmas 

on Dec. 14 with Mike’s side! After 

all, the holiday is about celebrating 

Christ’s birth, not about celebrating 

Dec. 25. 

Can you perfectly please everyone, 

every year for every holiday? Probably 

not. But you can work toward a balanced 

and fair holiday with a heart for 

honouring your extended family, while 

not neglecting to create special memories 

and moments with your spouse 

and kids. In the book Complete Guide 

to the First Five Years of Marriage, 

Wilfred Wooten writes, “Consider how 

your parents and other relatives may 

wish to have you involved. Perhaps 

a Christmas Eve service together is 

important to the wife’s parents, while 

Christmas dinner is central to the husband’s. 

Try to be open to the desires of 

family members—but not controlled 

by them.” 

Festivities involve 

2 

food, so don’t be rude 

“Cooking for large groups of people 

takes quite a bit of planning, energy 

and resources,” marriage and family 

therapist Diana Bigham points out. 

“Offer to help cook to lighten the burden 

or pitch in on the food expense. 

Always help clean up after meals and 

any time there is a mess (especially if 

it was made by your child).” 

Don’t be a picky eater or drinker, 

either. You think green bean casserole 

is soppy and fattening, but to 

them it’s a favourite family tradition— 

even if it is a soppy, fattening one! If 

you must have your green salad, how 

about offering to provide it? Who 

knows? It may become tradition for 

you to provide the fresh greens at all 

family get-togethers. 

Traditions: Yours, mine 

3 

and ours 

“Balance the development of your own 

traditions with those of the homes 

you came from,” suggests Wooten. 

And why not start some shared traditions 

everyone can enjoy? For one 

family, two traditional turkey dinners 

within two days was simply too 

much of a good thing. So, with one 

side of the in-laws, this family opted 

for a new “traditional” dinner—a 

Ukrainian Christmas meal. Bring on 

the perogies, farmer’s sausage and 

cabbage rolls! 

Discuss with your spouse what traditions 

you’d like to establish as a 

couple and as your own family. “It 

may be a lot easier for you and your 

spouse to change what you want 

for the holidays than for parents 

to adjust what’s been important to 

them for many years,” writes Wooten. 

But that doesn’t mean that parents 

can’t be flexible, right? Maybe waking 

up for homemade cinnamon buns 

and reading the biblical account of 

Christ’s birth with your spouse and 

kids would be your ideal Christmas 


couples / IN-LAWS 

morning. If so, your in-laws can 

kindly wait until lunchtime to celebrate 

with you. 

4 

Manners make a 

difference 

Social graces put a smile on family 

faces—and Bigham knows it: “Saying 

‘please’ and ‘thank you’ really goes 

a long way. Expressing appreciation 

and gratitude really helps to make 

the environment more friendly and 

caring.” 

Also, you can’t go wrong with compliments—as 

long as they are sincere. 

Is your mother-in-law a talented 

tablescaper? Break the ice by letting 

her know you appreciate the effort 

she puts into making the holidays 

beautiful—and ask her for some tips! 

5 

Sharing your spouse 

Get a little jealous when your wife 

spends time catching up and joking 

around with her siblings rather than 

cozying up to you by the fire? “Sharing 

isn’t just a lesson for children,” says 

Bigham. “Allow your spouse to spend 

time with the people [he or she] grew 

up with and don’t expect them to only 

be with you the whole time. This helps 

them reconnect and perhaps even 

work out issues that may be affecting 

your relationship.” 

Who’s your number 

6 

one? 

“Show your spouse that he or she is 

number one in your eyes,” suggests 

Romie Hurley, licensed professional 

counsellor. This means that in the 

debate over your husband’s turkey 

carving skills versus your brother-inlaw-who-can-do-no-wrong’s 

carving, 

you shower support and respect on 

your gobbler-slicing virtuoso. 

Be careful, though. As you ally with 

your spouse, don’t make the holidays 

an “us vs. them” family feud. 

Instead, focus on unity with your 

extended family whenever possible. 

This allied attitude begins even before 

you receive your first holiday hug 

from your mom-in-law. Do you ever 

complain about your in-laws to your 

spouse? In keeping with the theme to 

keep your spouse first on your proverbial 

Christmas list, Hurley encourages 

you to “remember that you’re loving 

your spouse by honouring his or her 

parents,” at all times. 

In-laws who aren’t 

7 

into your faith 

So, there’s a 10-foot inflatable Santa 

on your in-law’s front lawn. And on 

Christmas morning your spouse’s 

parents show video footage to the 

kids of Santa (or Grandpa in a Santa 

suit) putting presents under the tree. 

They point to half-eaten cookies and 

“magic” red glitter scattered around 

the fireplace. 

You want your kids to love Christ 

more than Kris Kringle, so what do 

you do? In Complete Guide to the First 

Five Years of Marriage, Dr. Phillip J. 

Swihart writes, “Enjoying the family 

event is possible, even if you follow it 

with a reminder to the children about 

the real meaning of the holiday.” You 

could also ask your in-laws if it’d be 

OK for you to say grace before meals. 

8 

Joining in the joviality 

You’re spending time with your 

in-laws not just so your spouse can 

be with his family, but so you can be a 

part of his family! That’s why Bigham 

says, “Participate. Not sure how? 

Talk with your spouse about helping 

include you in the conversations 

and activities. You are now a part of 

your spouse’s family and they want 

to get to know you. Being uninvolved 

looks unfavourable, though perhaps 

unintentionally.” 

To add a bit of low-pressure fun, 

come prepared with puzzles, movies 

or board games to play with the whole 

family. Just make sure your round of 

Dutch Blitz doesn’t get too competitive—unless 

everyone is into that sort 

of thing. 

*Names changed to protect privacy 

Cara Plett is an in-house writer for <strong>Focus</strong> on 

the Family Canada. 

© 2014 <strong>Focus</strong> on the Family (Canada) 

Association. All rights reserved. 

ISTOCK - SHIRONOSOV, ELENAMEDVEDEVA 

22 



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1 

Any present 

from your spouse 

that you are now 

regifting 

CHRISTMAS LISTS / COUPLES 

3 

Dummies how-to manuals 

for projects your spouse recently 

has had troubles with or that you 

want your spouse to do 

4 

Candles with a 

scent that your 

spouse despises 

5 

The white 

elephant gift from 

last year’s office 

Christmas party 

2 

Furniture from 

your neighbor’s 

yard sale 

6 

Alphabetized 

volumes of Bible 

devotions that your 

spouse needs 

to hear 

12 Gifts 

You Should Never 

Give Your Spouse 

BY KAT BITTNER 

ILLUSTRATIONS BY KARLA ALCAZAR 

7 

Last-minute, 

handmade 

coupons for 

free hugs 

8 

Cookbooks with 

a title that starts 

Worst Cook 

9 

Your grandfather’s 

relic and now rusty 

woodworking tools 

12 

Hand-sewn 

garments made 

from burlap 

10 

Jewelry engraved 

with “property of” 

someone else’s 

name 

11 

A spruce tree to plant 

in memory of a loved one 

when you live in a tropical 

climate, or a palm tree in a 

temperate zone 


COUPLES / CHRISTMAS LISTS 

1 

Sharing exactly how 

your spouse has 

been a blessing to 

you during the year 

12 Gifts 

Your Spouse Will 

Love 

3 

Showing 

appreciation for 

your spouse’s 

personal goals 

2 

Gifting a journal with a few 

filled-in pages, expressing 

your love for your spouse 

4 

Reminding your spouse of 

his or her worth in God’s 

eyes and as a partner in 

your marriage 

5 

Participating 

alongside your 

spouse in an 

activity or hobby 

he or she enjoys, 

even if it’s not 

your favorite 

6 

Leaving 

encouraging 

notes for your 

spouse to find 

or sending little 

texts to surprise 

him or her 

during the day 

7 

Completing 

mundane tasks 

for your spouse, 

ones that he 

or she usually 

handles 

8 

Offering 

thoughtful 

gifts that show 

you truly 

know your 

spouse 

10 

Regularly finding 

ways to speak well 

of your spouse in 

front of others 

11 

Recounting fond 

memories from 

your early years as 

a couple 

9 

Slowing down 

to listen to and 

support your 

spouse’s dreams 

12 

Giving your spouse 

a written prayer 

about him or her 

that is personal 

and pleasing 

26 



faith & 

inspiration 

STOCKSY - YAROSLAV DANYLCHENKO 

“NOVELS ALLOW READERS 

TO GRAPPLE WITH MEANING, 

PURPOSE AND MORALITY TO 

AN EXTENT THAT ISN’T POSSIBLE 

THROUGH MOST OTHER MEDIUMS.” 

—JERRY B. JENKINS, PAGE 28 


FAITH & INSPIRATION / STORYTELLING 

FAITH, FICTION 

AND THE 

POWER OF STORY 

Changing lives 

one novel at a time 

BY JERRY B. JENKINS 

ILLUSTRATIONS BY KIRK DOUPONCE 

CREDIT TK 

28 



STORYTELLING / FAITH & INSPIRATION 

THE CHOSEN: AND I 

WILL GIVE YOU REST 

by Jerry B. Jenkins 

Based on the third season of the TV 

series “The Chosen,” this novel continues 

to follow the ministry of Jesus. 


CREDIT ADOBE TK 

STOCK - JAMES THEW 

WHEN I WAS A CHILD, my parents read to me 

every night before bed, expanding my imagination and 

developing in me a love for reading—even before I was old 

enough to go to school. By first grade, I was reading at a 

fourth-grade level, and the joke in our family was that in college, 

I was still reading at a fourth-grade level. 

But seriously, what that bedtime reading instilled in me 

was a sense of wonder and curiosity that remains to this day. 

It exposed me to varied cultures, time periods and perspectives, 

enlarging my understanding of the world. I became 

a lifelong learner, following my late mother’s convicting 

example. Into her 80s, she was still not only a piano teacher 

but a piano student as well. 

So one of the reasons I believe fiction is important is that 

it offers readers access to the same sense of wonder I felt as 

a child. Another reason is that it helps us connect with others 

on a deeper level. When we read a novel, we in essence 

contract, or agree, with the author to temporarily suspend 

disbelief and enter the world and the scenarios he or she 

has created. We connect with fictitious characters viscerally, 

empathizing with their struggles and feeling their pain and 

joy. Fiction has the power to build bridges between people, 

even those vastly different from one another. 

Access to wonder 

Writing fiction has allowed me to rub shoulders with some 

of the great novelists of our day, including many who ply 

their trade in the general market as opposed to the inspirational, 

where I’m most known (primarily for my “Left 

Behind” series and “The Chosen” series). I’ve found that 

many of my colleagues enjoy, as I do, hearing from fans who 

say things like, “Reading your novel changed my life.” 

I’m not entirely sure what that means to a general-market 

novelist, but my readers are often more specific. They’ll 

mention moving from darkness to light, or even from death 

to life. They’ll tell me they came to faith after reading something 

I created. Imagine impacting others in a way so 

meaningful and transformative. 

One reader said that a prodigal son came back to his faith 

after reading the first “Left Behind” title. He told his parents 

he was going to buy copies for the sketchy friends he’d been 

running with, but before he could, he died in a car wreck. 

His parents told us they bought books for those friends who 

attended the funeral, and that several came to faith in Christ 

after reading them. 

Another letter was from a man in his 90s who said his 

eyes were so weak that he had to read Left Behind with a 

magnifying glass. He came to trust Christ for salvation “not 

because of what I saw through the glass but what I saw 

through my heart.” 

Such letters trump any bestseller list or royalty check! 

A new writing adventure 

That ministry through words is partly why I was honored to 

be asked to hand-pick three Christian authors to write novels 

for <strong>Focus</strong> on the Family that would help readers think 

deeply about modern issues from a biblical worldview. I 

chose three of my favorite writer friends, all of whom are 

celebrated novelists with stellar reputations for their abilities 

to move readers’ hearts and minds. Angela Hunt, Tamera 

Alexander and Chris Fabry exceeded even my greatest hopes, 



each producing a page-turning read that digs 

deep into a contemporary issue embodied in a 

compelling story. 

Their novels examine real-world situations: a 

family reeling from the specter of suicide, a couple 

facing the perils of infidelity and the challenge 

of a loved one’s battle with dementia. As tough 

and raw as these issues can be, in the hands of 

gifted authors, the stories motivate readers to 

cheer for struggling characters and imagine how 

they can overcome battles in their own lives. 

It was a privilege to come alongside and work 

with Chris, Angela and Tamera, colleagues who 

agree that stories well told allow us to explore 

the paramount questions of life in engaging and 

accessible ways. Novels allow readers to grapple 

with meaning, purpose and morality to an extent 

that isn’t possible through most other mediums. 

Fiction has the power to transport us beyond 

our rational minds into our hearts and souls. It 

can touch us in deeply personal ways, helping us 

answer the questions that matter most. 

Why I write 

I started my career as a journalist but soon 

discovered a passion for telling my own stories, 

creating my own characters and worlds. 

Through fiction I can travel to distant lands, 

explore different cultures and meet people from 

all walks of life. 

Of course, writing fiction is not without its challenges. 

In fact, creating believable characters 

and engaging plots can be grueling. But for me, 

the rewards have far outweighed the challenges. 

Writing fiction has been a source of joy and fulfillment, 

allowing me to explore my faith and share 

it with others. 

As a novelist, I feel honored to be a part of this 

tradition and am eternally grateful for the privilege 

of sharing my stories with the world. 

Jerry B. Jenkins is the author of more than 200 books, 

including 21 New York Times bestsellers. His titles have 

sold more than 73 million copies. He’s chair of the 

Creative Writing major at Colorado Christian University 

and a member of the Colorado Authors’ Hall of Fame. 

He and his wife have three grown sons (including Dallas 

Jenkins, creator, director and co-writer of “The Chosen” 

TV series) and eight grandchildren. 

INTRODUCING 

FOCUS ON THE FAMILY’S 

NEW FICTION 

LINEUP OF THOUGHT- 

PROVOKING NOVELS 

From Angela Hunt about 

What a Wave Must Be: 

When I began working with Jerry Jenkins on adult fiction 

for <strong>Focus</strong> on the Family, I had an idea that was 

a little far out, even for me. But I wrote the story anyway, 

Jerry went through it, and we handed it in . . . and 

<strong>Focus</strong> rightly told me that it wasn’t what they had in 

mind. I’d written a story that addressed several social 

issues, and <strong>Focus</strong> wanted a story that was, well, more 

focused on one issue. 

Some anonymous writer once said, “If you want to 

write about war, write about one man’s war.” I wanted 

to write about suicide, so I decided to write about the 

suicide of one man to help readers see how suicide can 

affect everyone in a family for generations. 

I took a deep breath, cleared my calendar and 

started over. The topic of suicide had occurred to me 

at the beginning of the project, but I think I shied away 

from the depth of grief involved. It’s not an easy subject 

to talk about, and yet it affects families every day. 

My husband is a youth pastor, and we have seen the 

devastating effects of suicide on parents, children, 

grandparents and society as a whole. My husband has 

conducted more funerals of young people than he 

wants to count. 

Because I’d spent several months writing a story 

that didn’t work, to save time I started with things I 

30 



STORYTELLING / FAITH & INSPIRATION 

WHAT A WAVE MUST BE 

by Angela Hunt 

This novel explores how the hope 

and peace of Jesus can help 

in situations where people are 

thinking about suicide. 


knew—like the Airbnb we operate on our property, the 

caboose in our front yard and the grandchildren we adore. 

From that point on, it was a simple matter of putting myself 

in the grandmother’s heart and head and living the experience. 

Not easy, but oh so important. 

It is my hope and prayer that What a Wave Must Be—the 

novel I was so reluctant to write—will save thousands of 

lives not only by stopping potential suicidal situations but 

also by demonstrating that in Jesus we can find hope and 

peace and answers. 

As for that other story? One of these days I’ll pull it out 

and rewrite it. Until then, it can sit on the back burner and 

percolate. It was more important for me to write What a 

Wave Must Be. 

ADOBE STOCK - JAMES THEW 

A MILLION LITTLE CHOICES 

by Tamera Alexander 

Fictional characters from two different time 

periods help the reader explore the tenets 

of marriage and the heartbreak of infidelity. 


From Tamera Alexander about 

A Million Little Choices: 

The stories that have lived inside me the longest are often 

the most difficult to write, and A Million Little Choices was 

certainly that. Not only because of the subject matter— 

marriage and infidelity—but also because these characters 

are so real to me and the settings so tangible that the first 

words on the page often felt frustratingly inadequate and 

thin compared to the living, breathing movie inside of me. 

The story is about two women from different centuries 

who live in the same house and share strikingly 

similar journeys. The setting is Atlanta, where I was born 

and raised. Even the antebellum house depicted in the 

dual-timeline story is personal. 

After youth group on Sunday nights, a bunch of us would 

often drive to Atlanta and sneak into an old, abandoned, 

boarded-up antebellum home. We’d wander around with 

flashlights, brushing aside cobwebs and breathing in 

plumes of dust. It felt like walking through time to me, and 

I recall thinking about the people who’d lived in that house 

and wondering what their lives had been like. Experiences 

like that are where my love of history took deeper root. 



Yet the seed of that love wasfi r s tplanted when I was 9. 

On a trip to Germany. 

But before you think it was too glamorous a trip . . . 

there were eight of us in a VW Bug. Times were different 

back then. My mom, brother and grandmother sat 

in the back. My aunt and uncle were up front, and their 

two babies were passed from lap to lap. And me? I sat 

in a cubbyhole in the back, fake-smoking little bubblegum 

cigarettes as we chugged around Germany, 

Switzerland and the Netherlands. 

It was when we toured a 12th-century castle on the 

Rhine River that something happened. Feeling the 

cold stone wall beneath my hand as we descended into 

the belly of that castle changed me forever. Yet it wasn’t 

until nearly 35 years later that God revealed what He 

would eventually do with the seed He planted that day. 

His timing is always perfect. 

SAVING GRAYSON 

by Chris Fabry 

Discover the worth of a person, 

a life, regardless of what that 

person can no longer do. 


From Chris Fabry about 

Saving Grayson: 

Saving Grayson is my 84th published book, and in a 

lot of ways, it was the hardest book I’ve ever written. 

In the writing, I hit a wall and felt like I had missed 

the story and hadn’t done justice to Grayson and his 

battle with dementia. 

In the process, I realized that those around him 

couldn’t love the Grayson they knew; they had to love 

who Grayson is today. That made me ask, How do you 

love someone well who can’t respond? 

This reminds me of one of my favorite novels of 

all time, To Kill a Mockingbird. One of the central 

points Harper Lee made was that when you do something 

good for the simple reason that it’s good, you 

don’t expect a response. The act is the reward. So as I 

wrote about Grayson, I wound up asking hard questions 

about myself. Am I worth something because I 

can tell a good story? Do I have to achieve something 

to earn love? This is the most profound struggle for the 

Christian. We can either try to earn God’s love and forgiveness 

and mercy or receive it freely. That shift in my 

perspective unleashed the story for me and helped me 

complete the novel. 

ADOBE STOCK - JAMES THEW 

CREDIT TK 

32 



EVANGELISM / FAITH & INSPIRATION 

ADOBE STOCK - DALU11 

questions that 

lead to Jesus 

The what, why 

and wondering 

approach 

to evangelism 

BY ANDY BANNISTER 

A FRIEND OF MINE, Nigel, 

once spent a week at a Christian conference. 

Midweek, he had to leave the 

event for two days to play in a tennis 

tournament. He booked a cab to take 

him to the train station. As the cab 

pulled away from the convention center, 

the driver asked Nigel what was happening 

there. 

“A Christian conference,” Nigel replied. 

“Oh, you’re not one of those religious 

types, are you?” grumbled the driver. 

Rather than letting that roadblock 

in the conversation stump him, Nigel 

calmly replied, “What do you mean 

by that?” 

The cab driver responded with a 

tirade about everything he hated about 

religion, not the least of which was all 

the hypocrisy and moralism. Nigel quietly 

prayed as he listened, and then 

asked another question he felt the 

Lord bring to mind: “Sir, have you ever 

heard of a man called Jesus?” 

“Of course I have!” 

“Well, it occurs to me that Jesus might 

agree with you about all the bad things 

in religion. After all, He reserved His 


FAITH & INSPIRATION / EVANGELISM 

fiercest words for the religious leaders 

of the day.” That comment led to a 

much more open conversation with 

the cab driver. 

Two days later, when the driver 

returned to take Nigel back to the conference, 

the ice had broken enough for 

Nigel to give him an evangelistic tract 

as they parted, which the man said he 

would consider reading. 

What Nigel did in that conversation 

was to ask good questions. I want to 

suggest that questions are one of the 

most helpful tools we have in evangelism. 

And this isn’t some trendy, new 

idea. It goes right back to Jesus. 

Jesus and questions 

Bible scholars say that Jesus asked 

307 questions in the Gospels and 

was asked 183 questions, though He 

answered less than 10 of them directly. 

(Jesus preferred to answer a question 

with a question.) The well-known story 

of the rich young ruler in Mark 10 is a 

great example. 

The young man came to Jesus and 

asked, “Good teacher, what must I do 

to inherit eternal life?” 

To which Jesus responded, “Why do 

you call me good? No one is good 

except God alone” (verses 17-18). 

Why did Jesus respond with a 

question? Why didn’t He simply 

reply, “I’m the Son of God. Follow 

“That’s a 

great question. 

Tell me, why 

do you ask that?” 

Me,” or “Come along to the Alpha 

course that Peter and James are leading 

tomorrow at the First Baptist 

Synagogue of Capernaum”? Perhaps 

there was a deeper issue in the young 

man’s life that Jesus first needed to 

address, and a question was the way 

to do so. 

Picture in your mind’s eye a non- 

Christian friend. Maybe a work colleague, 

a classmate or a neighbor. 

Now, suppose you say to your friend, 

“Look, I know you don’t believe in God, 

but just for a moment, imagine there 

is a God and there is a heaven. If there 

were, what would you need to do to 

get there?” 

How is your typical non-Christian 

friend likely to reply? By far the most 

common answer is “Be a good person.” 

“Bible scholars 

say that Jesus asked 

307 

questions in the 

Gospels.” 

Many people think that if God exists 

and there is an afterlife, then you get 

to heaven by being a decent person— 

a good citizen who is kind to others. 

Do all that, and God will welcome you 

into heaven. This is, in fact, the religious 

position most people take. And 

it’s the question the rich young ruler 

was asking Jesus: “You look like a 

good person who’s going to heaven— 

so how do I get there?” 

When Jesus asked, “Why do you 

call me good?” He exposed the young 

man’s assumption. 

“Yes,” Jesus’ question says, “all good 

people will go to heaven. But here’s 

the problem: Only God is good, so 

only God gets to go.” Jesus’ question 

also exposed the much deeper issue 

of money in the young man’s life . . . 

STOCKSY - LAUREN LEE 

34 



EVANGELISM / FAITH & INSPIRATION 

? 

STOCKSY - CLIQUE IMAGES 

KID QUESTIONS 

Here are some questions to ask 

your children when they express 

doubts about their faith. Use these 

questions to help your kids dig 

deeper into what they know and 

what they think they know. There 

isn’t a one-size-fits-all question to 

ask. Instead, use a variety of questions 

to come alongside your kids, 

pray for them and help them sort 

out their concerns biblically and 

without clichéd answers. 

WHAT QUESTIONS: 

• What do you mean by [that]? 

• What makes you think [that]? 

• What makes [that] important 

for you now? 

WHY QUESTIONS: 

• Why are you asking about [that]? 

• Why do you think [that]? 

• Why does [that] strike a chord 

with you? 

WONDER QUESTIONS: 

• Have you ever wondered why 

God created us? 

• Have you ever wondered why bad 

things happen to good people? 

• Have you ever wondered why 

Jesus came to save us? 

—AB 

and hinted at an even bigger question: 

If only God is good, but the young man 

has seen that Jesus is good, who does 

that make Jesus? 

The power of questions 

By learning to ask good questions, we 

can create more natural conversations 

with people about our faith in Christ. 

Asking questions helps us avoid reducing 

evangelism to sound bites (“If I just 

use the right formula, my friend will 

become a Christian”). Questions help 

reveal motives and assumptions—for 

example, when my faith is challenged, 

I’ll often say, “That’s a great question. 

Tell me, why do you ask that?” 

Questions also help the other person 

think. For example, if a friend says 

she’s an atheist, you might reply, “That 

tells me what you don’t believe, but 

what do you believe?” 

“Have you ever 

wondered why God 

created us?” 

Over the years, I’ve found that I 

return to three types of questions time 

and time again. First, there are what 

questions, which are great for teasing 

apart what somebody has said. When 

an atheist friend recently remarked, 

“There’s no evidence for God,” I replied, 

“What do you mean by ‘evidence’? What 

would count as evidence for you?” 

Then there are why questions, which 

are helpful for encouraging friends to 

explore the reasons for their skepticism. 

So if a friend announces, “I don’t 

believe in God,” you might respond, 

“That’s really interesting. I’d love to 

know why you think that.” 

And finally, there are wonder questions, 

which are invaluable when 

talking with somebody who doesn’t 

object to or challenge what you 

believe but is just disinterested 

in spiritual things. Some years ago, 


FAITH & INSPIRATION / EVANGELISM 

“Have you ever 

wondered where 

human rights come 

from, if we’re just 

atoms and particles?” 

my friend John would announce, 

“I’m just not interested in God,” 

whenever the subject came up. That 

threw me for ages, until one day I 

noticed an Amnesty International 

sticker on his Honda. 

“Have you ever wondered where 

human rights come from, if we’re just 

atoms and particles?” I asked. That 

question opened up an opportunity to 

discuss how justice and dignity make 

sense only if humans are created in 

God’s image. 

Questions that 

lead to Jesus 

Sometimes the right question leads 

directly to Jesus. I was recently talking 

with a university student whose biggest 

obstacle to Christianity was the many 

examples of church leaders abusing 

their power for personal gain. How, 

she wondered, could anybody take 

the church seriously when some of 

its leaders behaved like this? 

As I considered how to respond, I 

realized that once again a question was 

appropriate. So I replied, “I share your 

disgust over this, because it’s totally 

antithetical to how Jesus behaved. 

Have you ever heard the story of Jesus 

washing His disciples’ feet?” 

She hadn’t, so I read John 13 to 

her, and then we chatted about how 

10 

% 

of Christians feel 

unequipped to share 

their faith 

—source: Jesus Film Project, 

A Cru Ministry, 2020 

countercultural His actions were. 

I also spoke about the Cross and how 

Jesus had ultimate power, and yet He 

laid it all down. Rather than victimizing 

others, Jesus became a victim to save us. 

As the conversation ended, the young 

woman asked for a copy of the Gospels 

so she could read more of Jesus’ story for 

herself. By God’s grace, the right question 

had taken a hostile skeptic to the 

point of being willing to give Jesus a 

more careful look. 

Andy Bannister is the director of the Solas 

Centre for Public Christianity, an evangelism 

and training ministry. He is also an adjunct 

professor at Wycliffe College at the University 

of Toronto and an adjunct research fellow at 

Melbourne School of Theology in Australia. 

His latest book is How to Talk About Jesus 

Without Looking Like an Idiot. 

“Have you 

ever heard 

the story of 

Jesus washing 

His disciples’ 

feet?” 

HOW TO TALK ABOUT 

JESUS WITHOUT 

LOOKING LIKE AN IDIOT 

by Andy Bannister 

Learn how to speak about your 

faith naturally in conversation. 


STOCKSY - STUDIO FIRMA 

36 



ADVENT / FAITH & INSPIRATION 

ISTOCK - ALONZODESIGN 

an Advent 

journey 

Discovering God’s 

hope, peace, joy and 

love through Scripture 

BY FOCUS ON THE FAMILY CANADA 

IN THE FOUR WEEKS leading up to Christmas, 

Christians around the world participate in Advent to prepare 

our hearts and minds for the celebration of our Saviour’s birth. 

Traditionally, each week focuses on a different theme: hope, 

peace, joy and love. 

This year, Advent begins on Sunday, Dec. 3, finishing three 

weeks later on Sunday, Dec. 24. However, we want to help 

you continue your reflection for four full weeks—one week for 

each theme—with a free Advent devotional calendar. In the 

following pages, you’ll find the first few days’ devotions, but 

we encourage you to visit <strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca/Advent to 

download the full PDF. 

May you be encouraged and inspired by the truths found in 

Scripture as you count down the days until Christmas! 


FAITH & INSPIRATION / ADVENT 

A SAMPLE FROM AN ADVENT JOURNEY DEVOTIONAL 

Day 1 

WEEK ONE hope 

The first promise of a coming Saviour 

Scripture Genesis 3:14-15 | Romans 8:19-25 

ADVENT BEGINS WITH THE THEME OF HOPE. This isn’t the kind of hope that people most often 

speak of, a sense of wishful thinking, like “I hope I get that job” or “I hope I do well on my test.” Hope 

in the Scriptures means a confident expectation based on the 

character and promises of God, especially His promises to send 

a Saviour who will redeem His broken world and rule it with 

justice and mercy. 

Prayer 

God started giving these promises from the very 

beginning, from right after Adam and Eve disobeyed Him. The 

God, Your faithfulness is 

woman received the first promise of hope from the Lord: She 

evident throughout all of 

history. Even from the first 

and her offspring would be eternal adversaries of the serpent 

moment when Adam and Eve 

and his offspring, until one day in the distant future, one of her 

sinned, You always had a 

descendants would crush the serpent’s head. 

plan to save us. Even when we 

This was the first promise of the coming Redeemer who 

stumble and fall today, we know 

would triumph over the devil and destroy his works, putting an 

You will keep Your word. In 

end to sin, suffering and death. God had planned all this before 

You, we put our hope and wait 

He ever created the universe. From this point on, He would 

patiently for all Your promises 

unfold that plan throughout history, revealing it one promise 

to be fulfilled. Amen. 

at a time through His prophets and in His Word. 

Day 2 

The offspring of Abraham 

Scripture Genesis 22:15-18 | James 1:2-4 

MANY CENTURIES PASSED BEFORE GOD BEGAN to unfold 

His plan in more detail. The Lord called Abraham to leave his 

community and his people behind and emigrate to a new land, 

the land of Canaan, where God would be with him and bless 

him. As Abraham travelled around in Canaan, God gave him 

several promises about his future and sealed those promises 

with an oath and a solemn covenant ceremony. 

CREDIT TK 

38 



ADVENT / FAITH & INSPIRATION 

DOWNLOAD AT FOCUSONTHEFAMILY.CA/ADVENT 

After putting Abraham’s faith to a final and serious 

test, God assured him that his descendants would be more 

numerous than the stars in the sky and the sands on the 

seashore. In addition, one of Abraham’s descendants would 

triumph over His enemies and all nations of the earth would be 

blessed through Him. 

This was now God’s second great promise of redemption 

for the world and hope for humanity, more specific than 

the one He had made to Eve in the beginning. Although the 

fulfillment of this promise was still about 2,000 years away, 

the descendant to be born would be God’s chosen Redeemer. 

He would provide salvation not just for Abraham’s physical 

descendants, but for people of every nation who would trust 

Him, just as Abraham had done. 

Prayer 

Lord, You are a covenant God. 

Even when we walk through 

trials and challenges, when 

we feel like our faith is being 

tested, we hold on to the truth 

that You never forsake us. 

You are doing a new work in 

us and even when we don’t 

understand, we will continue 

to put our trust in the hope of 

Your faithfulness. Amen. 

Day 3 

A powerful prophet like Moses 

Scripture Deuteronomy 18:15-18 | John 1:14-18 

CREDIT TK 

TRUE TO GOD’S PROMISE, Abraham’s descendants began to multiply greatly, but they were also 

enslaved in the land of Egypt. Yet the Lord had compassion on their suffering and heard their cries for 

freedom. In time, He sent Moses to liberate His people from 

Egypt and bring them into the land of Canaan, the land He had 

promised to their ancestors, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. 

This act of deliverance, known as the Exodus, is the central 

Prayer 

event in the history of the people of Israel. It was a spectacular 

demonstration of God’s power, and of the fact that He will 

Lord Jesus, You are the only 

way, the only path to freedom. 

never break His promises or abandon those on whom He has 

You came with grace and 

set His love. More than that, it pointed ahead to what would be 

truth for our salvation. Even 

the central event in world history, when God would send His 

now, when we feel lost or 

Son to save His people from their sins. 

confused or uncertain, we can 

Just before the Israelites entered Canaan, Moses reminded 

look to You as our deliverer. 

them of God’s faithfulness and urged them to remain faithful 

Thank You for always being 

to the Lord. He told them that in the future God would raise up 

there to guide us through our 

another prophet like Moses for them, from among their own 

own wilderness into Your 

people. This prophet would speak God’s very words to them. In 

comforting presence. Amen. 

fact, He would be God’s Word Himself, Jesus the Messiah. 


Anything in this .25inch zone is not guaranteed safe from being trimmed off. 

Free PDF devotional: 

An Advent Joney 


Ad Title 

reflections (28 in total) to help you and 

AD FPO 

Full Page 

TRIM: 7.75 x 10.5 inch 

Don’t miss out! Advent 

begins on Sunday, Dec. 3 

THIS FREE PDF ADVENT DEVOTIONAL 

provides four full weeks of scriptural 

your family prepare your hearts and minds 

for the birth of our Saviour, Jesus Christ. 

Inside, you’ll find Bible passages to read 

as a family, a daily devotion to help you 

understand the deeper truths of Scripture, 

and prayers to help you recentre your heart 

on Jesus, the reason for this season. Plus, 

you’ll find printable blank cards with each 

week’s theme to share with family, friends 

and neighbours! 

40 

Download your FREE Advent devotional today! 

<strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca/Advent 

EN

CREDIT THE CAT TK AGENCY - SHAUNA LYNN PANCZYSZYN 


FAITH & INSPIRATION / MEDIA 

movie 

messages: 

Frozen 

Seek and find 

worldviews while 

having fun as a family 

THE ENTERTAINMENT 

INDUSTRY bombards us with obvious 

and subtle messages. But we often don’t 

recognize them as worldviews or notice 

how they skew our thinking. To help you 

and your family identify varying worldviews 

in culture, play this game of 

Movie Messages while watching Frozen. 

Directions 

BY PLUGGED IN STAFF 

ILLUSTRATIONS BY 

HANNAH DAVIES 

1. Give every player a set of 10 worldview cards. 

(Additional sets can be found and printed at 

<strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca/Magazine.) 

2. Watch Frozen until you reach an incident on 

the game board. Then pause the movie. 

3. Each player chooses a card that matches 

the worldview identified in the movie and 

places it facedown. Then players turn over 

their cards to reveal their answers. (Find 

the answers in the Parents Guide to Movie 

Messages download.) 

4. The correct cards are removed from play. The 

cards deemed incorrect are returned to each 

player, and the movie continues. 

5. This board game doesn’t cover every worldview 

in this movie. Players who have guessed 

wrong can catch up by calling out the correct 

worldview, if it comes up again in the movie. 

(This can only be done with worldview cards 

that have been removed from play.) 

6. The first player to get rid of seven of his or 

her cards is the winner. 

Read Plugged In’s review of Frozen first 

to make sure it’s right for your family. 

<strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.com/Frozen 

KARMA 

is believed to be a good or 

bad force that affects you— 

either now or in another life— 

depending on the good 

or bad you do today. 

MATERIALISM 

involves valuing stuff 

over people. 

PRAGMATISM 

says that the right 

decision depends on 

what you get out of it. 

OCCULTISM 

includes supernatural 

events or “knowledge” that 

is hidden and paranormal. 

SELF-ACTUALIZATION 

is the belief that selfimprovement 

and 

self-satisfaction are the 

highest goals of individuals. 

BIOCENTRISM 

argues that humans are just 

one of many animal species, 

not set apart in any way, 

morally speaking. 

FATALISM 

is the belief that there’s no 

point in taking action because 

events are predetermined. 

MONARCHISM 

is the belief in a 

government ruled by a king 

or queen, who may claim 

divine right to rule. 

NATURALISM 

is the belief that the universe 

was created through natural 

causes, without a creator— 

no souls and no afterlife. 

SITUATIONAL ETHICS 

considers morality to be 

subjective depending on 

circumstances. Lying might 

be wrong in one situation, 

for instance, but just fine in 

another. 

42 



Note: For young children who aren’t ready to play this game, you can introduce them to worldview 

training with a casual mention, such as “That’s materialism. But we know that people are more 

important than stuff.”

EXPLORE FROZEN 

FOR ITS HIDDEN 

MESSAGES. 

1:15:45 

HANS REVEALS HIS 

TRUE NATURE—AND 

HIS TRUE MOTIVES. 

44:06 

SVEN URGES KRISTOFF TO HELP ANNA. 

38:47 

KRISTOFF SINGS 

“REINDEER ARE BETTER 

THAN PEOPLE.” 

31:10 

THE SONG “LET IT 

GO” BEGINS. 

15:50 

ELSA LOOKS AT A 

PAINTING OF HER FATHER. 

12:33 

THE DUKE OF WESELTON SCHEMES TO 

“EXPLOIT” ARENDELLE’S RICHES. 

CREDIT TK 

Additional worldview cards 

and our Parents Guide to 

Movie Messages can be found 

at <strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca/ 


5:53 

THE KING COMBS THROUGH 

RUNES IN A BOOK, 

HOPING TO SAVE ANNA. 

START

GRANDPARENTING / GIFTS FOR GRANDKIDS 

HACKS & FACTS 

ideas for your 

Advent gift 

bags 

• Write affirming letters to 

your grandkids. 

TINY TOKENS OF AFFECTION 

To keep in touch with distant grandchildren at Christmas, I send gifts for them to 

open each day in December. It works like an Advent calendar with one daily gift 

per family. 

I wrap inexpensive treats in tissue paper and tuck them into a paper lunch sack. 

Then I fold the top, punch two holes and tie with a ribbon. I send things like an 

ornament from the dollar store, a few pieces of Christmas candy, craft items or 

hot chocolate packets. 

This tradition started when our children were in college, and it has continued 

now that our kids have kids of their own. We often get messages from the 

grandkids telling us how much they love a specific day’s gift. Even our adult 

grandchildren tell me they look forward to the gift bags. 

—Kathy Nickerson 

• Grandkids like to hear 

stories about what you 

did when you were a 

child. Consider adding a 

story about a long-ago 

Christmas you loved. 

• Give grandchildren fancy 

writing utensils and prestamped 

postcards to tell 

you how they enjoyed 

that day’s Advent gift or 

what they did that day. 

• Include a prayer card that 

lets each grandchild see 

how you pray for him or 

her. 

• Send a copy of a photograph 

of an extended 

family member as a child 

and ask your grandkids to 

guess who it is. 

• Would you like to include 

the craft supplies so 

your grandkids can create 

their own paper 

Advent wreath? Print the 

free directions and supply 

list to gather and send 

at <strong>Focus</strong>OnTheFamily.ca/ 


STOCKSY - LAURA STOLFI 

44 



GIFTS FOR GRANDKIDS / GRANDPARENTING 

LONG- 

DISTANCE 

COOKIE 

BAKE 

One year my oldest 

granddaughter organized 

a cookie bake. 

She mailed all the 

extended families 

cookie mix, cookie 

cutters, icing and decorations. 

She included 

a note with a date and 

time for the group 

cookie-making 

session. Through the 

help of technology, 

the cousins and other 

family members talked, 

laughed and baked 

together despite 

the distance. 

—Denise M. Greene 

HACKS & FACTS 

STOCKSY - JCHONG STUDIO 

DO YOU HAVE AN AMAZING 

GRANDPARENTING TIP 

ABOUT SUMMER FUN OR 

THE SANCTITY OF LIFE? 

Tell us about one unique 

thing you did with your 

grandkids during the summer 

(that others could also 

do) or a way you had fun 

teaching your grandkids 

about the value of life. 

Send your activity to us at 

info@fotf.ca and write “A 

Free Grandparenting Tip 

for <strong>Focus</strong> on the Family 

magazine” in the subject 

line. Remember to 

send your phone number 

and address with it so 

we can send you a copy of 

the magazine if your tip is 

published. 

personalized packaging 

Eleven of my grandkids live thousands of miles away. I usually buy them 

gifts online to save on postage, but then I’d also pay for the overpriced 

gift bags offered by retailers. Several years ago, I sent a reusable cloth gift 

bag for each grandchild to my kids. These parents liked the bags since 

they were long-lasting and didn’t require much storage space. They also 

reused them to put their own kids’ Christmas and birthday presents in. 

The grands liked them because each bag was his or her favorite color. 

This Christmas, I plan to decorate new cloth bags with each grand’s 

name on it. I’ll also add pictures of their favorite sports, animals and activities 

before passing them along to their parents. 

—Teresa Olive 

Gift Idea 

NEW FROM FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 

HEART OF BELONGING 

by C.J. Darlington 

If your grandkids are teen girls struggling 

with acceptance, let them know 

about this newly released, sixth book 

in the “Riverbend Friends” series. 



FAITH & INSPIRATION / MY THRIVING FAMILY 

Christmas spirit 

Our daughters can’t wait for Christmas! 

—Stephen and Stephanie from Georgia 

Anna, 6, and Elizabeth, 9 

A finishing touch completes our family 

Christmas tree. —Felix and Jocelyn from Ontario 

Mateo, 10, and Daniel, 13 

Our baby is awed by a rocking reindeer. 

—Clarissa from Ontario 

Asher, 6 months 

Who needs mistletoe? Not our kids. 

—Kelly and Mike from Illinois 

Jackson, 4, and Nora, 2 

SEND US 

YOUR PHOTOS! 

Email photos* of your child’s 

Christmas pageant or lost teeth. 

Put “Pageant” or “Toothless” 

in the subject line. 

info@fotf.ca 

* Largest photo possible. Professional photos are not accepted. 

ADOBE STOCK - TIERNEY, DUBOVA, ELENA_GARDER 

46 



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Godly role models, 

relationship advice, Bible 

readings, fashion tips, 

quizzes and more to 

help young women build 

their life on faith. 

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New 

FROM 

FOCUS 

ON THE FAMILY 

Families need prayer! Pray more 

intentionally for families around 

the world, and for your family 

too, as you read through the 

Bible in one year in as little as 15 

minutes a day. This New Living 

Translation Bible includes daily 

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Order online at 


or call 1.800.661.9800. 


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Focus on the Family Magazine - December 2023/January 2024

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