09102019 - 2020: Buhari presents N10.33trn job creation budget to NASS

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30 — VANGUARD, WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2019 My best friend’s fiance cheated with me! Dear Bunmi, My best friend, J, is gettmg married very soon, but I’m hiding a guilty secret from her. A few weeks ago, I was at a party, had a few too many drinks, and her fiance made a play for me. I know I shouldn’t have done anything, but we ended up getting pretty steamy together. He said if I didn’t tell my friend, then we could enjoy more romps together when he’s married. The love-making was good and I was tempted to agree with him, but I refused. I couldn’t do that to my friend. I have felt really guilty since, but I really don’t know whether I should alert my friend on the type of philanderer she would be marrying. Diana, by e-mail The love-making was good and I was tempted to agree with him, but I refused. I couldn’t do that to my friend. I have felt really guilty since. Is he falling out of love with me? Dear Bunmi, I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years and I’d like to believe that I treat him as well as I possibly can, because he’s my world. I met him when I was 17 and right away I knew he was the one. We had an incredible relationship for a long time, but, recently, things have started to go down hill. We have the type of relationship where we’re sure Dear Bun mi, My dad left the family three years ago, and my parents are now divorced. For those three years, my mum steered clear of relationships but, recently, she’s linked up with some of her friends and has suddenly started enjoying going to parties and outings with men. To date, I’ve counted five different men in the last eight months and none of them lasted more than a few weeks. I’m really worried about her and would want her to slow down. Julie, by e-mail. Dear Julie, Dear Diana, Getting it together with your friend’s finance was not a good idea, as you’ve found out. You should be feeling guilty because, as a friend, she should have been able to trust you. Even having had a few drinks, you should have known enough not to get involved. I wonder whether you were driven partly by jealousy over your best friend’s wedding. If you’re close, then you may secretly feel abandoned by her getting hooked. All friendships have to adapt to changes in life, but, if the bonds are strong, to let each other know how we feel, whether it be spilling out our hearts with ‘love yous’ or talking about what we don’t like about each other. Recently, he has been acting strangely and our phone conversations are stilted because it feels like there is nothing to talk about, which is weird, because we used to talk at least four or five hours every night. I want to make things work between us Mum needs to stop making a fool of herself If your dad had left two months ago, I’d be worried too — your mum would be having sex just to ease the pain of him leaving and, in the end, would probably feel bad about herself and even more upset. But she’s taking time to recover from her heartache, and now she’s finding out what she does and doesn’t want. Let her realise that you’re there if she needs to talk, but don’t interfere in her new love life. Gently get the message across to her that the highest rate in sexually transmitted diseases is among over-forties, who think they’re not at risk. You need to tactfully check she’s using condoms. then a good friendship can last a lifetime. You need to do what’s best for your friend, having made this mistake. She’s about to get married to a man, who is obviously intending to cheat on her. If not with you, it would be with other women. Talking to your friend isn’t going to be easy and don’t expect her to be happy. She’s invested a lot of hopes in this relationship and she's not likely to believe you. You’ve made an awful mistake and you should learn to live with it, instead of dragging two people and an impending marriage down with you. because we have made so many plans together and I’m so in love with him. But we have reached the point where I don’t think he cares about our relationship anymore. Most conversations are dull and end with a simple ‘goodnight’. It's killing me that he refuses to say that he loves me anymore, even though I know he does. I think he’s bored with the relationship, and, maybe I should let him go. Tiwa, by e-mail. Dear Tiwa, It’s quite common to go through phases like this in a relationship, but it’s not necessarily a sign that it is terminal. If you both love each other, then it’s worth fighting for. First of all, try to put less emphasis on phone calls and more on face-to-face contact. Talk about how you feel but make sure that’s not all you do. Go out, have fun and, sometimes, have a break from the talking and try laughing or cuddling - anything to take you out of yourselves and remind you what you saw in each other, in the first place. Having said that, remember that sometimes love dies, especially amongst young people who’ll have opportunities to meet more partners before they finally settle down. My weight is making me push hubby away Dear Bunmi, Since having my son last year, I’ve piled on the pounds and it’s really affected my selfconfidence. It has reached a point where I feel too disgusting to get undressed in front of my husband, which has resulted in slowing down our sex life. He has always told me I’m beautiful and he finds me attractive, regardless of my weight, but I don’t believe him. 1 can see he’s getting frustrated by it all and we’ve been arguing more. I need help before it ruins our marriage! Imabong, by e-mail Dear Imabong, You’re being too hard on yourself and your husband! He has made it clear that he loves you and thinks you’re beautiful. If you keep accusing him of lying to you, it really is going to start affecting your marriage. You are a busy mum who’s still adjusting to a new life with probably very little time for yourself. The more you're obsessed about the weight, the more of an issue it will become. I think you need to start being your own friend. Congratulate yourself on having snared a great husband and producing a beautiful baby boy. Put some time aside to look after yourself by exercising and having the occasional stat at the beauty parlour. Focus on building self-esteem and seeing yourself as a whole person, not just a number on the scales! He’s an adulterer, he disgusts me Dear Bunmi, I’m 46 and a divorced mother of two teenage children. Three years ago, I met this man at a wedding and he told me straightaway he was a married man. Despite this we carried on seeing each other, as I felt safe with him knowing the relationship wouldn’t go anywhere. He confided in me about his problems at home, saying the spark had gone out of his marriage and that he and his wife only had sex once in a blue moon. Later, however, I discovered that they’ve had another baby. We still carried on seeing each other because the sex was great. He then started going out with another single mother, and that was when I put a stop to his fleet-footing. But he won’t leave me alone. He phones me all the time and tells me if he were to leave his wife for anyone, I would be the one. Quite frankly, he’s getting on my nerves. What should I do? Jumai, by e-mail Dear Jumai, Your ex-lover was looking for a bit of fun initially and was unprepared for the fact that he’d ended up having real feelings for you. But that doesn’t alter the fact that he is a liar and a cheat. And while he may have two lovers on the go, there’s only one person who really matters to him - himself and his big ego. Well done for having the courage to end the relationship and for not crumbling under pressure. If you’re to have any hope on future happiness with a new partner, you must continue to be strong. You deserve better than to be strung along by a man who is nothing but an adventurer. Tell him you have no feelings for him anymore and, if possible, invent a new lover! Could it be fun with mv first love? Dear Bunmi, I was in love with a man all through my teens and 20s. We never had sex, but a deep commitment towards each other. In the end, I got married to someone else and we lost touch. I ran into him recently at a friend’s office, only to discover my feelings for him haven’t changed. He’s asked me to get in touch by giving me his mobile number. Should I? Just to find out how it could have been with him? Mary, by e-mail Dear Mary, It’s been said that never quite getting together with someone you’re in love with is a bit like a half-finished story. Now you want to see more of this man in order to finish the story. But be warned. If you find out love is impossible, you may gain inner peace, and be also able to live your future life happily. But if you discover this man still wants you too, the chances are high you will end up risking your marriage and your happiness. Is it worth it? I don’t think so, but it is you who will have to make the decision. Share your problems and release your burden. Write now to Dear Bunmi, Vanguard Newspapers, P.M.B 1007, Apapa, Lagos, or bunmsof@yahoo.co.uk
Vanguard, WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 9, 2019—31 Send Opinions & Letters to: opinions1234@yahoo.com Was Abdulrasheed Maina a fugitive? IN July 2015, Abdulrasheed Maina who was last week arrested by operatives of the Department of State Services, reportedly escaped from the country to Dubai in the United Arab Emirate. He was the Director of Human Resources in the Ministry of Interior. But it was in his capacity as Chair of the Pension Reform Task Team, now defunct, that Maina had a run-in with the law. Or so it was reported. Maina alongside Steve Oronsaye, former Head of the Civil Service of the Federation, OsarenkhoeAfe and Fredrick Hamilton, among others, were charged before a Federal High Court in Abuja on 24 counts bordering on fraud and obtaining by false pretences (is that a euphemism for 419?) to the tune of N2.1 billion in their management of the pension funds. Generally, the Nigerian Civil Service is a cesspool of fraud but perhaps this should not be surprising considering that heads of the Civil Service somehow manage to get entangled in issues of fraud and corrupt practices. It was only weeks ago that Winifred Oyo-Ita was sent on terminal administrative leave following corruption charges. As was the case with Oronsaye and the pension funds, Oyo-Ita was forced to forfeit properties and funds worth billions of naira. While others involved in the pension fund swindle were hauled before the law and have been having their time in court, AbdulrasheedMaina was the special one, the sacred cow that could not be made accountable. Rather than face the law, this former director, a relatively junior officer considering the amount of funds he was put in charge of, decided to go on vacation to Dubai. Yes, he went on holiday even though the authorities wanted us all to believe that Maina was on the run from the law; in other words, a fugitive. But the reason Maina could not be properly described as a fugitive is that he regularly came into the country, more or less dividing his time between Dubai and Nigeria. Not only did Maina do this in plain sight of security agencies and their agents, he was in fact accorded full protection by the agencies. He went around heavily guarded and surrounded by state security agents. On one near-fatal occasion, Maina’s security details had a face-off with agents of the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission. Against the advice of (who else?) Oyo-Ita (her words) after she took over as Head of the Civil Service of the Federation, Maina was not only recalled from his Dubai base (assuming he stayed there for any long period), he was also asked to return to duty at a higher position. In plain language,Mainawas promoted. Was this as reward for his crime against the people of this country? Only Abba Kyari, President Muhammadu Buhari’s Chief of Staff and AbubakarMalami, have the explanation to that. For, as Oyo-Ita told Nigerians, the decision to recall Maina was Maina has a lot to account for and it is what he has to say and give back by way of restitution that should interest us all hatched between AbubakarMalami, the Attorney General of the Federation and Minister of Justice and Abba Kyari. It was the reason for that infamous spat between Kyari and Oyo-Ita during a Federal Executive Council, FEC, meeting presided over by Yemi Osinbajo, the Vice President, on one of those occasions President Buhari was on medical vacation in the United Kingdom. Then Oyo-Ita had alleged in a memo, that not only Abba Kyari and Malami but also President Buhari knew of the reinstatement of Maina against her informed advice. Apparently, Kyari did not like the president being outed in that manner. The quarrel between Kyari and Ita played out before members of the FEC and in living colours on the screen to the rest of Nigerians, on the occasion of the swearing in of Boss Mustapha as Secretary of the Government of the Federation. This was in November 2017, two years ago. All of this happened then only because Maina’s cover as a so-called fugitive was blown off and the attempt to sneak him back into the Civil Service was exposed. To date, many Nigerians believe the sacking of Oyo-Ita and the rumoured ongoing travail of Osinbajo had something to do with this episode, among a few others. The simple moral here is that Maina is just a face for more powerful elements in the corridors of power. Which is one reason many Nigerians found it difficult to accept the anti-corruption posture of the Buhari government and have questioned Abuja’s commitment to ridding the country of corruption. Not only is Maina connected to powerful forces, he is both conscious and full of that awareness. Which was why he went about openly with full security details, hiding right under the nose of those who pretended to be looking for him. Those who blew off his cover were not unaware of Maina’s connections. They probably wanted to call attention to it by their action. Awareness of Maina’s privileged standing could also not have been lost on those with whom he was charged for fraud. It must have been a reason for their silence when they were being prosecuted and Maina was nowhere to be found. They knew or were assured by Maina or others better placed that the charges were headed for nowhere. They knew that at the very least Maina, if not they who had to COOPERATE with him in his schemes, was a mere messenger of the Ogas-at-thetop and there was no way a messenger could be held to account in plain sight of his sponsors. Otherwise, could any Nigerian have pulled the kind of stunt Maina’s 20-year-old son pulled on the DSS operatives who went to arrest his father on Monday last week and still have lived to tell the story? Like Omoyele Sowore, convener of the #Revolution Now campaign, Maina and his son were in a hotel (obviously known to the security agents). But unlike Sowore who had only ventilated with words about overthrowing a government and had not resisted arrest, Maina’s son pulled a gun on the security agents. Elsewhere, he would have been shot dead. Had Sowore pulled a gun on the DSS operatives that went to effect his arrest, would that not have been taken as proof of his readiness for a bloody revolution? How many Nigerians had the luxury of even explaining themselves when accosted by Nigerian security agents before they were shot dead by the likes of the same security elements on whom Maina’s son had pulled a pistol and nothing happened to say nothing of the heavens falling? Power pass power, abi? Over and above his arrest, Maina has a lot to account for and it is what he has to say and give back by way of restitution that should interest us all. Let his trial begin and let him pay fully. Of moles and blackmailers in DESOPADEC By Prince Akpo Abugo THOSE fortunate to work with Gover nor Ifeanyi Okowa must understand his vision, mission and personality in order to fit perfectly into his goals for a better Delta State. This is because the Governor is leader for all, apart from the fact that he is incorruptible, morally upright, accommodating, honest, detribalised and carries all sections of the state along. And by so doing, Okowa personifies stability which has resulted in a stronger Delta. Any political appointee must be thankful that out of millions of Deltans they are chosen. Which is why we must not be involved in anything that will become a clog in the wheel of progress in the state. The Delta State Oil Producing Areas Development Commission, DESOPADEC, was established to address age-long neglect, underdevelopment and ecological problems of oil producing communities who, despite their oil deposits, lack basic amenities and are ravaged by environmental pollution. The continuing damage to the ecosystem and the attendant health and economic challenges as a result of gas flare confront them daily. DESOPADEC derives its funds from 13% derivation for oil producing states. Note that 50% of this goes to DESOPADEC and the other half to the state government. Note also that it was Okowa who restored the independence of DESOPADEC, ensuring that there was no meddling in its operations. In the event, the hope of oil producing communities was activated, especially following the completion of abandoned projects and undertaking new ones. Prior to the emergence of Okowa, DESO- PADEC was a mere cash cow, a milking ground saturated with diverse interests and bitter politics of greed enmeshed in corrupt practices; it never implemented budgets as fraudulent cartels employed, without due process, employees with forged certificates At a time the Okowa administration is building a stronger Delta State, insatiable political bats are thinking of personal gains rather than what to offer to strengthen the state; shame on them because no blackmail can rock a solid foundation with ghost workforce dominating the pay rolls. It was a den of corruption. Those who were lucky to be appointed there saw it as an opportunity to marry many wives, acquire a harem of concubines and mistresses as well as display extravagant lifestyle. DESOPADEC stank to high heavens on account of the greedy hyenas and vultures who fed on the common wealth of oil producing communities. All that ended when Okowa emerged on the scene. The Okowa administration decapitated corruption, the ghost workforce and unqualified personnel with forged certificates. Particularly affected were the godfathers who delighted in illicit sharing of money on nonexistent projects, apart from placing their wives, concubines, girlfriends and non-indigenes on salaries at the commission. Indeed, this corrupt clique was running a parallel government from the commission. The good news is that a progressive wind of change has been blowing since they were flushed out. This explains why there is now prudent management of funds and goals are being actualised under Okowa’s DESOPA- DEC. However, corruption is fighting back; same retrogressive forces are not happy; they want the former rot to continue for selfish reasons. These greedy moles and vultures have resorted to blackmailing Okowa and the Managing Director of DESOPADEC. The leading mole wants his hired colony of jesters to subdue board members through blackmail and intimidation so that the transparency Okowa has entrenched is compromised. This is the reason for the recent verbal diarrhea against the state government. They want to sponsor protests, raise agitations, employ blackmail and character assassination as tools for achieving their inordinate desires. This onslaught must be resisted by the DESOPADEC Board headed by Bashorun Askia Ogie. The recent online publication by hatchet reporters to blackmail Governor Okowa and the Board is fraudulent. Their recent online publication entitled: “Has Governor Okowa Made Any Successful Person in Government?” smacks of blackmail. Its motive cannot be far from stomach politics. Unfortunately, many cannot see who is behind the mask or the fictitious identity paraded by the hack writer. Boasting of partnership with EFCC, these questionable characters have been around government circles long enough to extract information for blackmail, even as they play the sycophants, pretending to support the government on one hand and resorting to blackmail if their demands are not met. No society survives the kind of criminality these social miscreants impose on us. Same characters frown at some appointments in the board, hiding behind social media to invent imaginary allegations of extortion and blackmail against the board. They blame Okowa for every imaginary illusion to get attention; they create ethnic divisions to cause friction and blame that on the failure of governance. They are agents of a mole in DESOPADEC; a political appointee must understand that service is not for personal profit or mischief. Those who earn a living by causing misfortune for pecuniary gains will similarly receive same measure. At a time the Okowa administration is building a stronger Delta State, insatiable political bats are thinking of personal gains rather than what to offer to strengthen the state. Equally sad is the use of the name of the revered Chief Edwin Clark for political mischief. Also unfortunate is the mischievous use of the names of Okowa and Ibori; we must accord them their political space, respect, dignity no matter the travails or temptations. The Edwin Clark University is a product of sweat. Pa Clark personally sold his properties to establish that university. Delta has three private universities which Gov. Okowa is doing his best to encourage, knowing their contributions to development, employment generation and knowledge transfer. They must not be sacrificed by merchants of greed. Shame on them because no blackmail can rock a solid foundation Okowa has laid in sustaining brotherhood above division. Those blackmailing DESOPADEC to get money for peace to reign must understand nobody holds monopoly of violence; we must cherish the greater good of society. Rumour peddlers should stop using Clark’s name in their blackmail. Chief Clark, as a father, bears no grudge; he supports Gov. Okowa for his accomplishments as Okowa holds him in highest esteem. Okowa is responsive to the yearnings and aspirations of Deltans; that’s why he created a synergy that allows foes, friends and political opponents find a point of understanding in the state. Askia Ogie is doing well in taking development to the people through community development initiatives, where consultation, choice and execution of projects reside with the people. The detractors should direct their energy to supporting Okowa for the benefit of the state. We must entrench equity, fairness and respect elders because leadership is sacrifice. We must not encourage stomach politics that only end up destroying our values and identity. *Prince Abugo, a concerned Deltan,wrote from Uzere, Delta State C M Y K
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09102019 - 2020: Buhari presents N10.33trn job creation budget to NASS

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