NG3_NOV_DEC_2019_master
Local business directory and community magazine.
Local business directory and community magazine.
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TOP IDEA<br />
Put your Christmas tree top decoration on before you<br />
start decorating your tree. It is easier and a lot safer –<br />
no ladders.<br />
D Denbo<br />
SAVE THE END<br />
To save losing the end of the sellotape, slip a<br />
paperclip over the end.<br />
M Smith<br />
FRUIT COOLER<br />
Cat’s Crackers<br />
Top Tips<br />
Freeze grapes and then add them to chill your wine<br />
without watering it down.<br />
J Timson<br />
TopJokes<br />
I’ve read so many horrible things about drinking<br />
recently that I made a firm New Year’s resolution:<br />
No more reading!<br />
R Jang<br />
If you’re going to buy your child an apple product<br />
for Christmas don’t go to a big department store,<br />
try the local green grocery store and you can<br />
connect them to orange at the same time.<br />
H Severn<br />
What is Santa’s favourite pizza?<br />
One that’s deep-pan, crisp and even!<br />
H Eleigh<br />
The one thing women don’t want to find in their<br />
stockings on Christmas morning is their husband!<br />
Y Hayward<br />
TREE RESCUER<br />
WINNING ENTRY<br />
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?<br />
Look for the fresh prints! - B Fred<br />
If your tree is looking thin, there is no need to splash<br />
out on a new one. Simply buy some dark green tinsel<br />
and twist it round the tree to give the impression of<br />
fuller branches.<br />
E Jordanou<br />
DON’T MINCE AROUND<br />
rs<br />
Making Christmas pies, but have no time? Buy a<br />
top quality jar of mincemeat then add brandy and a<br />
handful of luxurious fruits to give it that homemade<br />
touch.<br />
E Horner<br />
My Christmas decorations are inflatable. I’m<br />
forever blowing baubles.<br />
C Walker<br />
Why does santa have 3 gardens?<br />
So he can ho-ho-ho!<br />
D Lands<br />
What do you call an elf that sings?<br />
A wrapper!<br />
B O’Regan<br />
A wonderful Christmas song told me to deck the<br />
halls…..so I did. Mr and Mrs Hall were not very<br />
happy!<br />
G Ford<br />
WIN A £20 ONE 4 ALL VOUCHER<br />
Send me your top tip or joke for inclusion in the next mag.<br />
The best one will win a £20 One 4 All voucher!<br />
Send your entries to: Jokes/Top Tips, NG Magazines,<br />
5a Stanhope Crescent, Arnold, Nottingham, NG5 7AZ<br />
or email: cat@ngmagazines.org.uk and include your name, address & tel no.
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