Credit Management December 2019

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EDITOR’S COLUMN An alternative Manifesto for the Christmas Party Sean Feast FCICM Managing Editor IT’S Christmas and we have a general election. Two of my least favourite activities colliding in a storm of perfect misery. So to cheer myself up, and to bring to a close my (first) 10 years editing this prestigious journal, I bring to you my very alternative manifesto. Nothing political; too risky. Just a short list of things I’d change if ever the day came when I gave up wanting to be normal, or taller, and became Prime Minister instead. Here goes. Umbrellas – should be banned from pavements and public streets. Men and women are to blame equally. Men for their ridiculously over-sized golf umbrellas that they use to bully people into oncoming traffic, and women with their equally silly pop-up numbers whose spokes break in the wind and poke you in the eye. Escalators – heavy fines would be imposed to anyone who stops at the foot of an escalator, or who stands on the left at any stage. Pay-as-you-go bicycles – started as a good, eco idea but now litter our streets, abandoned in a chaos of garish colours that are somehow totally incongruous with a city scape. Apprenticeships – there would be more of them. We need to admit that degrees are not everything, have (sadly) become increasingly devalued, and that in many cases apprenticeships are more appropriate and better serve our youth. (A bit serious that one!) Middle lanes – I would ban middle lanes to immediately remove the annoying middle-lane driver phenomenon. Cyclists generally – no cyclist of any age or gender should be allowed on the road without having passed a cycling proficiency test. Bikes are dangerous in the wrong hands. Vehicle drivers are not to blame for everything. Cats – I would pass a law that everyone should own one. I hated cats until I got one as a half-way house between a goldfish and a dog, to see if I could look after an animal for more than three months without it dying or running away. Now I would never be without one. Internal emails – and specifically the ‘reply all’ function – would be abolished. I am not interested in a dozen ‘woo-hoo’ responses to ‘cakes in the kitchen’ when I am 500-miles away in a client meeting or on the road. Thank you. Robbie Williams – will be banned under a Christmas Party government. Along with Paul McCartney, Lewis Hamilton, and Ben Fogle. Fogle’s Labrador can stay on probation. It’s not his fault. Awesome – will be removed from the OED along with other unnecessary words and phrases that have crept (undeservedly) into our language such as Reaching out, Circling Back, and Looping in. VAR – will be abolished. It is an experiment that has failed. The offside law has now become a nonsense and so too handball. Neither has been helped by video interpretation and destroy the spirit of the game. Love Island – will be state-funded. It might not be any good for the contestants, but it’s doing my mental wellbeing no end of good and reminds you that however bad your life has become, there are always people worse off than you. These would be my immediate priorities. I would have to deal with other equally serious issues including Vegan bores, Prompt Payment Code detractors, and the French (Je suis désolé Pierre, ce n’est qu’une blague!) in my second term. Joyeux Noel. The Recognised Standard / www.cicm.com / December 2019 / PAGE 4
The Recognised Standard / www.cicm.com / December 2019 / PAGE 5
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Page 13 and 14: INSOLVENCY SPECIAL Open all hours R
Page 15 and 16: OPINION ROGUE TRADERS Bogus trade r
Page 17 and 18: INTERVIEW SALE AND RETURN Sean Feas
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Page 29 and 30: ASK THE EXPERTS WHAT ROLE DOES TECH
Page 31 and 32: Q&A Jo Kettner, CEO of Company Watc
Page 33 and 34: OPINION AUTHOR - Tim Vine WITH heig
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Page 37 and 38: PAYMENT TRENDS Top Five Prompter Pa
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Page 42 and 43: INTRODUCING OUR CORPORATE PARTNERS
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