When Tragedy Strikes... By Michele Roldán-Shaw 44
Sometimes a thing happens that is so awful, so devastating, there is no way to make sense of it. As Bluffton patches up its heart after the Christmas parade tragedy, we can all take comfort in the collective strength of our “helpers,” those who rally in our darkest hour. “Always look for the helpers,” said legendary children’s show host Mr. Rogers, paraphrasing his mother’s advice when, as a little boy, he was disturbed by catastrophes on the news. “You will always find people who are helping. If you look for the helpers, you’ll know there is hope.” We are fortunate that here in Bluffton we don’t have to look too far. Despite tremendous growth the last few years, this town is still small enough to care. Who didn’t feel a gut- punch when they heard about the loss of a sweet innocent, and an outpouring of spirit toward the family? But folks didn’t stop at just feeling — they stirred to action. <strong>The</strong>y cooked meals, raised funds, and organized a candlelight vigil attended by well-wishers who came out in droves to lend love and support. Whether they understood because they’d been through something similar, or they could scarcely imagine, they were there because Bluffton has a heart. Life is so fragile. <strong>The</strong>se physical bodies are vulnerable to time, the elements, and every sort of disaster imaginable. <strong>The</strong> hour awaits us all, and our loved ones as well, yet nothing truly prepares us for what we can hardly bear even to think about. When suffering a great loss we have our spiritual and existential beliefs to fall back on, which are deeply personal and vary from individual to individual. But allowing for our different faiths, the only objective, verifiable, self-evident truth is this: the person was here, and now they are gone. For those left under the crushing burden of that grief, struggling even to breath, the balm of pure love is essential. We can never take away their pain or close over the wound in an instant like we would wish, but we can help heal it slowly with our kindness, care, sincere presence, and recognition of the bond we share in the human condition. Because whatever someone else is going through today, it may just as well be any of us tomorrow. From this universal truth proceeds real empathy. Perhaps we don’t directly know those involved in a particular tragedy; maybe we didn’t reach out. Yet our hearts have been touched and we want to act. One way is by doing random acts of kindness as a memorial: in the name of the lost, we can buy coffee for the person behind us in line, leave a gas card at the pump, tuck a gift in the box for our mail carrier, bring goodies and flowers to our local fire rescue squad or nurses station. <strong>The</strong> people whose day we made brighter may never know what we had on our mind, but our own hearts will grow a little gladder knowing we turned something horrible into some-thing good. And we must always, ALWAYS love those near and dear to us, without conditions or grudges, but taking time tTo be truly present for them, because we don’t always get to say goodbye. Thank you Bluffton, for being a town with a heart. #HEARTOFTHELOWCOUNTRY To show tangible support to the family, visit any area SunTrust bank or donate online at: paypal.me/AmeerFrazier 45
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