Alice Vol. 5 No. 1

S O R R Y R E F L E X
By Annie Hollon
Take a moment and think about how many times you have said or heard the
word “sorry” in the last 24 hours. Was the apology warranted? Did you mean it? Or
was it an instinctive response to a situation where no one owes anyone an apology?
If your answer is the latter, you are one of the many plagued by the “sorry reflex,” a
sociocultural reaction embedded within the upbringing of young women associated with
humility and submissiveness. The root of the problem could stem from a number of
places, but the key question here is why women say sorry so often and what we can do to
reverse and stop this habit.
Life in Plastic Gets Realistic
While this subject is hardly a new revelation, its cultural prevalence and how it
is impacting young women is. Commonly called the “Apology Reflex,” the subject was
brought to the public eye’s attention from a rather unexpected source: Barbie. The
childhood heroine of many young girls voiced her frustration on the issue through one
of her YouTube vlogs (no lie). In her video from June 2018, she coined the term “sorry
reflex” when describing the constant apologies women utter in everyday circumstances
to the millions who follow her videos.
She goes on to give examples of when people apologize unnecessarily and calls out
the damage it causes to women’s confidence, challenging her viewers to watch how often
they say “sorry” and swap it for a “thank you.”
“I think there’s a bigger issue around sorry, especially
with girls,” Barbie said. “We say it a lot…Like it’s a
reflex, and somehow everything that goes wrong is
our fault.”
While the video is aimed at young girls, the message resonated with women of
all ages online, with over a million views on the video as of the date of publication.
Identifying this issue, especially in content targeted at 7.5 million subscribers, raised
awareness and sparked a greater conversation about what exactly the “sorry reflex” is
and the impact it has on young girls. This animated media icon is not the only one to
speak out on the subject matter, or the first.
56 Alice Winter 2020
Alice Winter 2020 57