Storyline Fall 2020

to let it go – even though He knows that’s
what’s in my best interest. I had to be ready.
Jesus doesn’t force us to do anything – He
won’t force you to be free. That’s something
you have to work for – and for some of us, it
is real work.
When I look back over my journey so
far, there are things I wish I could tell my
younger self. I’d tell her that her sickness
isn’t a sin. It isn’t a sin to have anxiety or
depression and they can’t just be prayed
away all the time. I would encourage her
to learn how to tell people that sometimes
praying for a broken arm heals it faster and
sometimes that’s not what God is using it for
… Same thing with depression. Sometimes
prayer heals it and sometimes God is using
it for something else. I’d tell her that it’s
OK to admit that you’re struggling, that it’s
OK to reach out and ask for help. That the
voices telling her that no one wants to help,
that she’s garbage, that she’s a burden –
that they are lies. I would encourage her to
learn how to listen to that Still Small Voice
sooner, because things really change when
you do. I would tell her to learn how to have
conversations with God instead of leaving
Him voicemails. Finally, I would tell her to
find her battle anthems sooner – make a
playlist of the songs that remind her that He
already has victory! The church has one on
Spotify if you need it: https://tinyurl.com/
FACvictorysongs.
Even so, I’m so grateful that things unfolded
the way they did. His way really is perfect.
I’m glad I learned the lessons I did when I
did. I still have depression and anxiety and
PTSD. The things that have happened in my
life are still a part of me, but the difference
is that I’ve given them to Jesus and I let Him
transform the hurt into healing and the pain
into freedom.
Loralee Martin
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