The Bouncing Bride - Christoph Endres

HARRY THE HORSE
I think I sprained my loin!
THIN HITMAN ONE
(Struggling, as they all are)
My arms is falling off!
JOE THE DRIVER
(As they stagger toward the balcony railing)
C'mon, we're almost there. Don't quit now.
They try to heave her up and over the balcony but they’re so damaged
their collective heave lands her on the railing instead of flying over it
as they had intended. Her body teeters there for a second and then slowly
falls over the railing. The strain of just getting her body up that far, is too
much for them. They all collapse in a heap and do not see the body fall.
Jordana hits an awning, slides down the letters of the hotel sign, bounces into
another awning and is tossed down to a lower awning. Vaulting out of that, she hits
a flagpole with her stomach, spins off it and after a steep plunge, caroms into
another awning. In a series of such bounces she reaches the bottom half of the
building. She hits the last awning so hard, it breaks on one side and flips her
sideways towards the street just as a semi-truck full of watermelons drives by.
She makes a squishy soft landing in the watermelons.
The truck moves off down the street, with the unconscious but still very much alive
Jordana riding off into the sunset atop 10,000 pounds of watermelons.
CUT TO:
INTERIOR-HONEYMOON-SUITE-REGAL HOTEL
Carlo in extreme close up, opens one eye. He blinks and tries to sit up. Four
men who can barely walk, suddenly go past him. He lifts a finger at them as if
to ask a question but they hurry on by him. Carlo, groggy, shakes his head.
Carlo
(Calling after them as they exit the room)
Hey...whass..whas..up?
Carlo looks around. The entire room’s destroyed. Everything’s smashed.
Carlo
Musta ben some wedding nightsh. She probly had to call in reforc-in-ments