The Good Life – January-February 2021

Remind your child that we don’t call names in this
house.
Console your child.
Try to sneak into your office for a quick work call
while your child is begrudgingly eating their, “super
gross,” lunch.
Be interrupted on said work call because, “the
peas touched the fish sticks,” and now your child
can’t eat them.
Remind your child that this isn’t a hotel and that
he’s fully capable of bringing his dishes to the sink.
12:00pm - Naptime
Verbally and physically wrestle with your child,
while explaining the importance of naptime.
After 15 minutes of arguing, settle on an “openeyed
rest,” in lieu of an actual nap.
1:30pm - Recess
No, playing Madden 20 does not count as physical
activity, even though it’s a sport.
Partake in a myriad of backyard physical activities
until back sweat becomes an issue and you almost
tear a rotator cuff trying to relive your high school
glory days on the gridiron.
2:15pm - Creative / Art Time
Instantly regret agreeing to any glitter - or sand -
related artwork projects.
Settle for a Youtube fingerpainting tutorial.
Sneak in a quick conference call, only to be
interrupted again because your child ran out of
blue paint.
3:00 pm - Music Time
Silently curse your child’s aunt for giving him a
recorder for Christmas.
Consider having music time outside going forward.
Remember that you live in North Dakota and it’s
January.
3:30pm - End of Day
Relent and let your child have tablet time.
Make a mental note to post to social media about
the fact that teachers are MASSIVELY underpaid.
Open a bottle of wine. •
urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 11