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Serving the <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee LGBT +<br />
Community+its Allies | NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong><br />
CHRISTOPHER<br />
LESTER<br />
ON THE FUTURE OF<br />
CLIFTON+LEOPOLD<br />
OLIVIA HILL<br />
SHARES HER STORY<br />
SHELDON DIGGS<br />
MAC HUFFINGTON<br />
DR. ROBYN<br />
HENDERSON-<br />
ESPINOZA<br />
& MORE<br />
FROM OUR<br />
LIST
publisher’s message<br />
A Special<br />
Message From<br />
Our Publisher<br />
Cheers! Here’s to a wonderful holiday season! I’m<br />
ready for a New Year for sure. Aren’t you? What will<br />
2021 bring? I believe we will be getting back to normal<br />
or a new normal rather, but we need to take it one step<br />
at a time. However, make sure you’re wearing your<br />
mask, washing your hands, social distancing as much as<br />
possible and avoiding gatherings until we have a vaccine.<br />
Taking care of yourself<br />
mentally and physically is<br />
the best thing you can do for<br />
yourself in the New Year.<br />
This issue is meant for<br />
celebration. We celebrate<br />
people like Ernie Ratliff and<br />
his husband George Fenner<br />
for their adoptions of six<br />
young people needing love<br />
and a home.<br />
We celebrate Brianna Fearing for her courage to begin<br />
a support group for LGBT+ youth in rural Maury and<br />
Marshall Counties.<br />
And in our feature, we celebrate several honorees from<br />
our 40 Over 40 of <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee. While we couldn’t<br />
place them all in the issue, you will be able to find a<br />
complete listing on our website.<br />
We chose to do a 40 Over 40 issue because you indeed<br />
see so many other celebrations for younger people. That’s<br />
great! We celebrate them too! But, just because you’re<br />
over 40 doesn’t mean life stops as you will see when you<br />
read about all the greatness from these 40 people.<br />
No matter your age, I hope this issue brings comfort<br />
and inspiration to you. Never give up on your dreams.<br />
Always know that you are enough.<br />
Stay <strong>Focus</strong>ed!<br />
Ways you can support us<br />
As we continue to practice social distancing, we’re adding to our digital<br />
footprint. We’ve been sharing more content on our website, social media,<br />
and through our newsletter. We’re committed to educating, informing, and<br />
featuring folks in our community. Our focus is on our readers and how we<br />
serve our community now and in the future.<br />
We love you, <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee! Without your continued support, we<br />
wouldn’t be here. This is why we have a simple ask of you. Support us<br />
now, more than ever. But how do you support us? Well, we have lots of<br />
ways and most of them do not cost you a single cent.<br />
Here are ways you can support:<br />
• Visit Our Website – We have a great site that is full<br />
of YOUR stories. Rediscover a favorite today. Visit<br />
focusmidtenn.com.<br />
• Read Our Virtual <strong>Issue</strong>s – We have nearly 3 years of content<br />
visible digitally online. Visit focusmidtenn.com/virtualissue.<br />
• Share Our Content on Social Media – Like us on<br />
Facebook. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter. Comment<br />
on our posts. Share them. Engage with us. Tell us what you<br />
think!<br />
• Patronize Our Advertisers – These businesses are ones that<br />
support you. Support them!<br />
• Sign Up for our E-Newsletter – Be in-the-know and get<br />
our news delivered directly to your inbox! Sign up on our<br />
website (It’s at the very bottom of the main page) or click<br />
here.<br />
• Become a Contributor – Write<br />
for us. Send us photos. Share<br />
your stories with us. We want<br />
to show <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee and<br />
everyone else what we’re made<br />
of. Email editor@focusmidtenn.<br />
com.<br />
• Buy a tee from Rocketshirts!<br />
– We’ve been recognized<br />
as a small business that is<br />
#HereForGoodTN. If you’re<br />
not familiar with this fundraiser, you can purchase a<br />
shirt from Rocketshirts and designate us (be sure to select<br />
<strong>Focus</strong> <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee from the drop-down!) as the<br />
small business you want to support. For every shirt sold,<br />
we will receive $10 that we can apply to our operating<br />
costs. https://www.rocketshirts.net/pages/hereforgood<br />
• Buy a Subscription – For only $25 per year, you’ll receive<br />
6 print issues, delivered right to your mailbox. You’ll stay<br />
informed about the <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee LGBT+ community,<br />
and you’ll support local journalism.<br />
Thanks for being a friend of <strong>Focus</strong>. We’re proud to be the<br />
premier source of LGBT+ stories in <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee. With<br />
your support, we will get through this crisis together, and<br />
stronger than ever.<br />
CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 3
®<br />
PUBLISHER<br />
Ray Rico<br />
ASSOCIATE<br />
PUBLISHER<br />
Selena Haynes<br />
MANAGING EDITOR<br />
& DIGITAL MEDIA<br />
Lauren Means<br />
ADVERTISING<br />
Selena Haynes<br />
David Wyley Long<br />
DISTRIBUTION &<br />
SUBSCRIPTIONS<br />
Selena Haynes<br />
Lauren Means<br />
Randall Sloan<br />
Melissa Bean<br />
DESIGNERS<br />
Brian Goins<br />
Daphne Butler<br />
Joey Amato<br />
Sarah Rutledge Fischer<br />
Selena Haynes<br />
contributors<br />
H.N. James<br />
Lauren Means<br />
Sydney Moxley<br />
Romeo San Vicente<br />
Joe Woolley<br />
<strong>Focus</strong> ® <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee is all about LGBT+ people and their allies…their work, play, families, creativity, style,<br />
health and wealth, bodies and souls. Our focus is on you.<br />
<strong>Focus</strong> ® <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee is published bi-monthly and distributed free throughout the greater <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee<br />
area. <strong>Focus</strong> reserves the right to refuse to sell space for any advertisement the staff deems inappropriate for the<br />
publication. Press releases must be received by the first of the month for the following issue. All content of this<br />
magazine, including and without limitation to the design, advertisements, art, photos and editorial content, as well<br />
as the selection, coordination and arrangement thereof, is Copyright ©2017, <strong>Focus</strong> ® <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee. All Rights<br />
Reserved. No portion of this magazine may be copied or reprinted without the express written permission of the<br />
publisher. For a full list of our editorial and advertising policies, please visit focusmidtenn.com policies.<br />
PICK UP + GIVE FOCUS<br />
Pick up a copy of <strong>Focus</strong> ® <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee at 150+ locations near you. Check out<br />
focusmidtenn.com for the most up-to-date list of spots where the magazine is distributed. Want to carry <strong>Focus</strong> ® ?<br />
Call us at 615.603.6169 or email selena@focusmidtenn.com.<br />
Give a subscription to someone, or treat yourself. $25/year; subscribe on focusmidtenn.com.<br />
<strong>Focus</strong> ® <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee<br />
is published by<br />
Ray Rico Freelance, LLC<br />
2294 Young Avenue Memphis, TN, 38104<br />
focusmidtenn.com<br />
PROUD MEMBER OF THE<br />
FOLLOWING ORGANIZATIONS<br />
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Page 4 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!
NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong><br />
CONTENTS<br />
6 MUSIC<br />
Songs to add to your holiday<br />
queer playlist<br />
12 32<br />
7 THEME: CHEERS!<br />
8 DEAR ALLIE<br />
Being socially distant doesn’t<br />
have to feel lonely<br />
10 CHAMBER CHAT<br />
12 LIFE<br />
Christopher Lester talks the<br />
future of Clifton+Leopold<br />
16 COVER<br />
Highlights from our 40 Over 40<br />
list of people to know in <strong>2020</strong><br />
22 TRANSFOCUS<br />
Olivia Hill shares her story<br />
24 LIFE<br />
One family’s story of adoption<br />
and love<br />
26 YOUTH<br />
Brianna Fearing leads the<br />
charge for LGBT+ youth<br />
22<br />
28 FAITH & SPIRITUALITY<br />
Pastor Dawn Bennett leaves<br />
space at the Table for LGBT+<br />
spirituality<br />
30 COMMUNITY<br />
Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence<br />
shares its mission<br />
42<br />
28<br />
32 TRAVEL<br />
Joey Amato visits<br />
Monterey, California<br />
36 FOOD+DRINK<br />
Holiday drinks to serve<br />
40 HEALTH+WELLNESS<br />
Safety tips for traveling<br />
during the pandemic<br />
42 PET FOCUS<br />
Pet photography tips<br />
44 ARTS+ENTERTAINMENT<br />
Interesting LGBT+ shows<br />
45 DIRECTORY OF SERVICES<br />
CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 5
music<br />
ADD SOME QUEER<br />
TO YOUR HOLIDAY CHEER<br />
If you are looking to add some cheer to your holiday playlist, check out<br />
these holiday songs by some of our favorite artists!<br />
“MAKE IT JINGLE”<br />
BIG FREEDIA<br />
“MARY, DID YOU KNOW?”<br />
PENTATONIX<br />
“HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY<br />
LITTLE CHRISTMAS”<br />
SAM SMITH<br />
“ALL I WANT FOR<br />
CHRISTMAS IS YOU”<br />
MARIAH CAREY<br />
“HEY SIS, IT’S CHRISTMAS”<br />
RUPAUL<br />
(FEAT. MARKAHOLIC)<br />
Page 6 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!
theme<br />
Cheers<br />
“Accept no one’s definition of<br />
your life; define yourself.”<br />
—HARVEY FIERSTEIN<br />
CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 7
life<br />
DEAR<br />
WINK<br />
Dear Allie,<br />
I’ve been a good boy and have been<br />
home safe and solo during quarantine.<br />
Let me tell you, it has gotten boring<br />
and lonely. I miss hanging out with my<br />
friends, flirting, even going on dates.<br />
Aside from video chats and phone calls,<br />
it is hard for a gay guy to date in the life<br />
of the ‘Rona. I don’t really like the apps<br />
and find myself going down endless<br />
chats and no-gos. Got any tips?<br />
Yours,<br />
Missing a Wink from a Stranger<br />
Dear WINK,<br />
You may be alone, but you are<br />
certainly not alone in this struggle.<br />
The social isolation that has been a<br />
necessary response to Ms. ‘Rona has<br />
been especially hard on people who live<br />
alone. So, let’s explore some of what<br />
you are probably missing from those<br />
fun, flirty nights and see if we can keep<br />
you going until Ms. ‘Rona is long gone.<br />
COVID-19<br />
BEING ALONE<br />
DOESN’T HAVE<br />
TO FEEL LONELY<br />
by Sarah Rutledge Fischer<br />
One of the things you are probably missing more<br />
than you realize is conversation with strangers. As a<br />
culture, we tend to discount casual interactions with<br />
strangers, deeming them awkward, but studies show<br />
that short interactions with strangers leave people<br />
feeling happier and more connected. You may be<br />
spending more time at home these days, but when<br />
you do go out, put away your phone and talk with the<br />
people around you. Even if it feels awkward, it might<br />
also leave you feeling less isolated for the rest of the<br />
day.<br />
And speaking of connections with strangers,<br />
spontaneity is probably something you are missing<br />
in your dating life these days. Online dating has<br />
advantages, but browsing a profile lacks the<br />
mystery and excitement of meeting the eye of an<br />
attractive stranger across the bar. One<br />
entertaining, if unpredictable, way to satisfy the<br />
need for an occasional sexy flirtation is to use one<br />
of the global video chat services like Omeagle or<br />
Chatroulette. Both of these services have a welldeserved<br />
reputation for unsolicited sexual content<br />
(Allie encountered three, ahem, eggplants before<br />
enjoying a flirty conversation with a very<br />
attractive and fully clothed Frenchman.), so user<br />
beware.<br />
Page 8 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC SEP+OCT <strong>2020</strong> / WAG CHEERS!
Once you’ve had your fill of random video<br />
contacts, you might want to return to your online<br />
dating options to seek real connection. When<br />
you’re online dating, the endless chats can all start<br />
to feel the same. So instead of staying on the<br />
surface, try going deep. Once you’ve decided that<br />
you might click with someone, instead of the usual<br />
questions and awkward flirtations, propose asking<br />
each other the famous 36 questions set forth by<br />
psychologist Arthur Aron (https://nyti.<br />
ms/30Nhkim). Designed to be answered in order<br />
by two people sitting face to face, the questions<br />
begin light and build in intensity, with the goal of<br />
encouraging vulnerability and building intimacy. It<br />
might go nowhere, but it will certainly be more<br />
interesting than the usual dating app chat.<br />
Now, the last topic is a bit touchy. Okay, very<br />
touchy. Okay, it’s touch—physical touch. Gentle<br />
physical touch does a ton of good for our bodies<br />
and minds—from lowering the effects of stress to<br />
triggering the release of oxytocin and cortisol.<br />
Touch deprivation, which can result from long<br />
periods of not being touched, can result in<br />
increased feelings of anxiety and depression,<br />
difficulty sleeping, and heightened stress.<br />
But what can you do when touching someone<br />
who isn’t already a part of your immediate circle is<br />
dangerous? You give yourself the sensations of<br />
touch that your body needs. For sexual touch, this<br />
means that when you masturbate, rather than<br />
falling into your regular routine, slow down and<br />
pay attention to the sensations of your skin.<br />
Outside of sexual touch, even taking time to<br />
mindfully rub a gentle hand across your own arm<br />
or down your own neck can trigger the<br />
physiological benefits of touch. (According to a<br />
2017 study, the ideal touching speed is between 3<br />
and 5 centimeters per second.) Mindfulness of<br />
touch sensations can also help--pay attention to<br />
the feeling of your foot against the ground or the<br />
coolness of water as it flows down your throat.<br />
Embrace other tactile comforts such as a taking a<br />
hot bath, using a weighted blanket, or snuggling<br />
with a pet.<br />
None of this is a substitute for the joy of<br />
spending time out in the world with beloved<br />
friends and attractive strangers. But for now, it just<br />
might get you through until Ms. ‘Rona is gone. At<br />
the very least, it should get you started.<br />
Your friend,<br />
Allie<br />
To submit your own question, email Allie at<br />
Allie@focusmidsouth.com. <strong>Focus</strong> <strong>Mid</strong>-South reserves<br />
the right to edit letters for length and clarity.<br />
Feeling Excluded?<br />
Find a place<br />
with<br />
us<br />
OPEN TABLE<br />
CHRISTIAN CHURCH<br />
DISCIPLES OF CHRIST<br />
FB LIVE SERVICES EVERY SUNDAY AT 5:00 PM<br />
1130 HALEY RD. | MURFREESBORO, TN 37129<br />
OPENTABLECHRISTIANCHURCH.ORG<br />
Be<br />
PrEPared.<br />
Learn more about<br />
HIV prevention at<br />
Planned Parenthood.<br />
866.711.1717<br />
PlannedParenthood.org/<strong>Tenn</strong>essee
usiness<br />
OUR MEMBER BENEFITS WILL HAVE<br />
YOU SAYING “CHEERS!”<br />
The Nashville LGBT<br />
Chamber continues<br />
advocating, educating, and<br />
connecting for our members,<br />
the LGBT+ community and<br />
Nashville as a whole in the<br />
uncertain business climate<br />
created by COVID-19. We<br />
know every business and<br />
person, from our corporate<br />
members down to our<br />
small businesses and gigworkers,<br />
to our networking<br />
members and followers, all<br />
have been affected and are<br />
hurting more and more as<br />
the pandemic wears on. We<br />
want you to know we’re here<br />
for YOU.<br />
Our membership and<br />
programming remains open<br />
to everyone during these<br />
times. Please join us at any<br />
of our events and sign up to<br />
get the information we can<br />
connect you to. Take a look<br />
at some of the things we’ve<br />
been working on below.<br />
Thanks to <strong>Focus</strong> for<br />
letting us highlight<br />
our work and our<br />
members!<br />
Be a Member<br />
and<br />
Find our<br />
Members<br />
We’ve proudly<br />
added several new<br />
businesses and individuals<br />
to our membership, even<br />
during the pandemic.<br />
A great way to support<br />
the LGBT+ community<br />
during a difficult time is to<br />
frequent chamber member<br />
businesses. A full list of<br />
members and certified<br />
LGBT-owned businesses<br />
can be found on our website<br />
directory. Also, look for<br />
by Joe Woolley | photo courtesy of Nashville LGBT Chamber of Commerce<br />
our OPEN and EQUAL<br />
membership sticker on<br />
windows and next to cash<br />
registers when you’re out<br />
shopping.<br />
In honor of the theme for<br />
this month’s issue, we’re<br />
celebrating our members<br />
who make you want to say<br />
“CHEERS”!<br />
• Diskin Cider - Nashville’s<br />
first and only craft cidery.<br />
We’re proud to partner<br />
with Diskin throughout the<br />
year at drag brunches and<br />
special release events for<br />
ciders like Daydream that<br />
benefit the chamber.<br />
• B&B Beverage<br />
Management<br />
- Food &<br />
beverage<br />
management<br />
company<br />
comprised<br />
of hospitality<br />
solutions for<br />
weddings, tailgates,<br />
festivals and sporting<br />
events. B&B did a live<br />
cocktail demonstration at<br />
our August PM Brewing<br />
Up Business!<br />
• Tito’s Vodka and Jeptha<br />
Creed Distillery - These<br />
businesses sponsor several<br />
events each year including<br />
TASTE Nashville and Pride<br />
in Local Music!<br />
• Restaurants and Bars -<br />
Share a toast with any of<br />
these excellent members!<br />
If your business fits this<br />
category and you’re not<br />
listed, please consider<br />
joining our chamber<br />
and taking advantage of<br />
membership perks. We<br />
want to help you promote<br />
and grow your business!<br />
If you’re interested in<br />
joining the chamber,<br />
visit our website at<br />
nashvilleLGBTchamber.<br />
org to learn more about<br />
membership levels and<br />
benefits.<br />
Stopping the spread<br />
and keeping the virus<br />
numbers down<br />
New cases are rising<br />
and we need to stop this<br />
surge so we can protect<br />
our economy. Please<br />
remember: Masks. Stay<br />
apart. Wash hands. And –<br />
get a flu shot. Thank you for<br />
being part of the solution.<br />
We will beat this virus.<br />
NashvilleHealth and<br />
community partners,<br />
including the chamber,<br />
launched #MaskForNash<br />
or #ÚselaPorNash, a<br />
community-wide effort<br />
to encourage citizens to<br />
care for our hometown by<br />
wearing a mask or cloth face<br />
covering when in public.<br />
We’re also a partner in<br />
MORE INFO<br />
To learn more about<br />
Joe Woolley and the<br />
Nashville LGBT Chamber<br />
of Commerce, please visit<br />
nashvillelgbtchamber.org.<br />
the #MaskNowPartyLater<br />
campaign, a collective of<br />
event creators, vendors,<br />
teams, venues, athletes<br />
and artists who are rallying<br />
together to create change.<br />
Help us have concerts and<br />
more again in Music City as<br />
soon as possible by wearing<br />
your mask and following<br />
CDC guidelines!<br />
The chamber is a<br />
proud participant in and<br />
encourages members to<br />
be part of the Good to<br />
Go Program, a hospitality<br />
safety program created by<br />
the Nashville Convention<br />
& Visitors Corp to help<br />
businesses in every industry<br />
implement health and safety<br />
guidelines.<br />
Website Resources to<br />
COVID-19<br />
We’re pleased to announce<br />
our new and improved<br />
website and member<br />
portal! These upgrades<br />
will help members and the<br />
community find information<br />
and communicate with each<br />
other. If you haven’t visited<br />
our website in a while, check<br />
out the new features!<br />
We created a COVID-19<br />
resources page that shares<br />
news and information our<br />
members need to know. The<br />
page includes:<br />
A webinar section is there<br />
to connect our members<br />
to the countless webinars<br />
our community partners are<br />
putting out.<br />
Page 10 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!
Stay informed with news<br />
releases and information<br />
keeping you updated<br />
on news related to the<br />
coronavirus and the<br />
response to it.<br />
Directories were created<br />
that highlights members<br />
that offer takeout, or<br />
members that have<br />
changed their business to<br />
offer their product in a new<br />
way.<br />
Our Hot Deals section<br />
is full with specials to<br />
other members and the<br />
community on a number<br />
of items. Check<br />
them out and<br />
support our<br />
members that<br />
are open and<br />
equal! This<br />
information can<br />
be found on<br />
our social media as well (@<br />
nashlgbtcc).<br />
The Rainbow Connection<br />
We’re excited to expand<br />
our virtual programming with<br />
the Rainbow Connection.<br />
Each month we offer two<br />
networking events, a member<br />
highlight session and an<br />
educational opportunity. This<br />
series helps our members<br />
and community stay<br />
connected and informed<br />
while we navigate the “new<br />
normal.”<br />
Network Connect is<br />
just that, our networking<br />
events for you to connect<br />
to others for business<br />
or personal needs. To<br />
complement our traditional<br />
PM Brewing Up Business,<br />
we now offer additional<br />
morning networking<br />
opportunities, AM Brewing<br />
Up Business. These events<br />
include a short program of<br />
announcements from our<br />
chamber’s staff and then<br />
small group networking.<br />
Member Connect gives<br />
an in-depth highlight<br />
of one of our corporate<br />
members and one of our<br />
small business members.<br />
There is a Q&A session<br />
and members have the<br />
opportunity to talk about<br />
what they’re working<br />
on, questions or issues<br />
they need help with or<br />
anything else they want<br />
to address.<br />
Classroom Connect is<br />
designed to help LGBT+<br />
and allied business<br />
owners expand their<br />
entrepreneurial skill set<br />
with educational webinars<br />
that connect participants<br />
to trusted experts. The<br />
Classroom Connect Series<br />
is made possible thanks<br />
to HCA Healthcare/<br />
TriStar Health, who joined<br />
as the title sponsor of<br />
the Classroom Connect<br />
Series. Click here for our<br />
<strong>2020</strong>/2021 schedule.<br />
Our virtual programs will<br />
continue even after the<br />
crisis subsides, in addition<br />
to resuming in-person<br />
events, such as advocating<br />
against discrimination at<br />
the state capitol, rainbow<br />
ribbon-cuttings and events.<br />
We can’t wait to see people<br />
in person! If you need<br />
assistance or are interested<br />
in learning more about<br />
what we do, we’d love to<br />
hear from you. Visit our<br />
website for more details on<br />
these programs.<br />
TeNNessee<br />
PhoToGraphs<br />
PORTRAITS<br />
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CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 11
life<br />
LIVING HIS<br />
BEST LIFE<br />
Page 12 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!
Christopher Lester talks past, present<br />
and future of Clifton+Leopold<br />
by Lauren Means | photo by <strong>Tenn</strong>essee Photographs<br />
No one could have expected <strong>2020</strong> to turn out the way it has.<br />
If we had a crystal ball to see the future, no business would<br />
have planned to launch this year. No one knows this better<br />
than Christopher Lester. A vision that started to come to fruition in<br />
October 2018 had a launch date of May <strong>2020</strong>. A brand focused on<br />
dressing up to go out now had to deal with a quarantine culture.<br />
Christopher lets us in on how his brand came to be and gives<br />
advice for anyone looking to take a leap of faith on their own ideas.<br />
Tell us a little about<br />
yourself so our readers<br />
can get to know you.<br />
My name is Christopher<br />
Lester and while not a<br />
Nashville native, I’ve called<br />
the city home for over<br />
two decades. I’ve spent<br />
the better part of the<br />
last decade working in<br />
the digital marketing and<br />
brand storytelling space<br />
and currently work with<br />
companies to help them<br />
leverage email and social<br />
media to tell a better story.<br />
I’ve always been a serial<br />
entrepreneur and enjoy<br />
the excitement of taking<br />
an idea and nurturing<br />
it into reality. Prior to<br />
Clifton+Leopold, I had<br />
the privilege of working<br />
at Emma Email Marketing<br />
where I served as the VP<br />
of Sales. It was here that<br />
I learned to dream big,<br />
work hard and lose the<br />
fear — all tools that have<br />
aided me in the launch of<br />
Clifton+Leopold and gave<br />
me the courage to say out<br />
loud “I’m going to launch<br />
an apparel manufacturing<br />
company in the United<br />
States during a global<br />
pandemic” and not feel<br />
crazy.<br />
Outside of my daily life, I<br />
serve on the Nashville LGBT<br />
Chamber’s board where<br />
I have the opportunity to<br />
work alongside some of the<br />
smartest and most driven<br />
people I know. I’ve led the<br />
marketing committee for<br />
the last five years where<br />
I had the privilege to<br />
serve with two amazing<br />
CEOs, lead a complete<br />
rebranding and help create<br />
the 20th-anniversary video<br />
— a project that I’m deeply<br />
proud of.<br />
I am a lover of the arts<br />
and love living in a city<br />
that values them. I grew<br />
up in Cincinnati, Ohio<br />
and some of my earliest<br />
memories were of going<br />
to the theatre, symphony<br />
and ballet. As we continue<br />
to deal with the fall out<br />
of COVID and the toll it is<br />
taking on these things I<br />
hold so dear, my goal is to<br />
find opportunities to plugin<br />
even more and help these<br />
irreplaceable institutions<br />
continue in our great city.<br />
I am the father of the<br />
most amazing 16-year-old<br />
Weimaraner named Olive<br />
and share a home with<br />
her in East Nashville. She<br />
reminds me every day to<br />
be thankful for waking up,<br />
to make the most of the<br />
sunshine on a cool day<br />
and to not ever feel bad<br />
for taking a nap when the<br />
mood hits.<br />
Why Clifton+Leopold? Is<br />
there a story behind the<br />
brand?<br />
For the “short”<br />
version we share with<br />
everyone, you can find<br />
the Clifton+Leopold origin<br />
story here, but just for the<br />
<strong>Focus</strong> audience, I am happy<br />
to share a little of a “behind<br />
the scenes” story.<br />
When I was early in the<br />
development process,<br />
everyone kept asking what I<br />
wanted to call the company<br />
— a step that I sort of<br />
jumped over because<br />
working through how to<br />
manufacture apparel in the<br />
U.S. was a much bigger<br />
challenge than what to<br />
name a company. But, the<br />
name thing was the first<br />
question on everyone’s<br />
mind.<br />
I knew from the start that<br />
I wanted a “something and<br />
something” name and I<br />
really wanted to use classic<br />
quintessential British names<br />
if I could make it work. I<br />
began researching names<br />
and filling them in on the<br />
chalkboard wall in my<br />
dining room.<br />
Clifton was the first<br />
CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 13
name that made sense.<br />
As I mentioned before,<br />
I was born and raised in<br />
Cincinnati, Ohio. More<br />
importantly, the hospital<br />
where I was born is in the<br />
Clifton neighborhood of<br />
Cincinnati. Clifton was<br />
literally where I got my<br />
start.<br />
Leopold means a “brave<br />
man or brave one” and if<br />
I was going to do this it<br />
would take a fair amount of<br />
bravery and a good dose of<br />
vodka every now and then.<br />
But at the core I do feel like<br />
a brave man, so Leopold<br />
really resonated with me.<br />
Finally, when you take<br />
their initials, they are the<br />
same as mine. This was<br />
something that wasn’t<br />
obvious until the first time<br />
I wrote the names together<br />
but none-the-less an<br />
impactful moment when I<br />
did. It felt kismet in nature!<br />
Here was a way for me to<br />
infuse myself in the brand<br />
without being the brand.<br />
How was the experience<br />
starting your business<br />
during a pandemic?<br />
This is probably the<br />
question I get the most<br />
and every time I start my<br />
response the same way. “It<br />
makes for one hell of an<br />
origin story.” It also feels<br />
totally on-brand for us. One<br />
of our mission statements<br />
and a mantra we openly<br />
share with our community<br />
is — Live Your Best Life.<br />
And to live your best life,<br />
you have to take risks.<br />
I’m super lucky to have<br />
so many amazing family<br />
members, friends and<br />
colleagues around me.<br />
Anytime I lack clarity, they<br />
are quick to loan me their<br />
strength and help me<br />
refocus and get back on<br />
track. The launch was no<br />
different.<br />
I actually started working<br />
on Clifton+Leopold in<br />
October of 2018. That’s<br />
when we created the LLC.<br />
It wasn’t long after that<br />
I started talking about<br />
it with a small group of<br />
friends and family. It is also<br />
when I finally sat down and<br />
created a long list of things<br />
that had to happen to make<br />
it real.<br />
I was determined that<br />
we would make 100% of<br />
our products here in the<br />
U.S. That conviction alone<br />
would take over a year<br />
to answer. There was so<br />
much to do and looking<br />
back I know there were<br />
times I could have moved<br />
faster (hello to the five<br />
weeks I took to decide on<br />
the perfect shipping box).<br />
That said, like all things,<br />
the timing was playing<br />
out exactly how it was<br />
supposed to.<br />
So there we were in<br />
February <strong>2020</strong> working<br />
through our final six-week<br />
launch plan. Then COVID hit.<br />
My first thought was<br />
there was no way we could<br />
launch during COVID. I<br />
mean, our entire premise is<br />
about people going out and<br />
getting dressed up.<br />
This is why it’s so<br />
important to surround<br />
yourself with people who<br />
aren’t afraid to challenge<br />
you. And believe me, that is<br />
what my friends did — in all<br />
the best ways.<br />
By the time our official<br />
launch day came on May<br />
1, I knew they were right.<br />
I’d spent a lifetime building<br />
a network of amazing<br />
humans who were there to<br />
support me. And support<br />
they did. They made<br />
purchases, shared our<br />
posts, told their friends and<br />
showed up. A statement<br />
Christopher is<br />
wearing Tie:<br />
Montgomery,<br />
Pocket: Hazel, and<br />
Silk Lapel Pin<br />
by Clifton+Leopold<br />
that is as true today as it<br />
was on that Friday morning.<br />
Now here we sit finishing<br />
up month six and I couldn’t<br />
be more thankful! It has been<br />
a crazy ride but also the best<br />
thing I’ve ever done.<br />
If you could go back<br />
through the startup<br />
process, is there anything<br />
you would do differently?<br />
This is easy! I would enjoy<br />
it more.<br />
Starting a company and<br />
giving all your energy to<br />
a new idea is hard. It’s<br />
daunting. It’s scary. And<br />
in more ways than anyone<br />
who has never done it can<br />
understand — it’s lonely!<br />
I can’t say that enough...<br />
it’s lonely! And that makes<br />
sense, right? So much<br />
of the process is in your<br />
head and underbaked or<br />
unrealized yet so it’s hard<br />
to share.<br />
Page 14 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!
It’s consuming and can<br />
steal away so much of your<br />
energy. I remember when<br />
I first started working on<br />
Clifton+Leopold I did 100%<br />
of the work in my dining<br />
room. Big mistake! There<br />
was no longer the ability to<br />
have friends over for dinner.<br />
There was no way to get up<br />
in the middle of the night<br />
to snag a drink of water<br />
without passing all the<br />
work hanging on the wall<br />
that had yet to be finished.<br />
There was no distinction<br />
between my personal space<br />
and this project that was<br />
quickly consuming me.<br />
The key to fixing all of this<br />
turned out to be SHARE<br />
MORE! It didn’t matter if I<br />
didn’t have it all figured out<br />
or know all the answers,<br />
smart people didn’t need<br />
that. They were more than<br />
happy to plug in and help<br />
me figure it out. It didn’t<br />
matter if I didn’t know how<br />
I was going to use that<br />
incredible fabric I just found<br />
or that I had spent two<br />
weeks trying to figure out<br />
the exact Pantone color<br />
for the tissue paper in the<br />
shipping box. My friends<br />
and supporters were<br />
thrilled to play a part.<br />
So I would say to anyone<br />
who is working on a similar<br />
project right now, open<br />
it up to the right people.<br />
Define that core group of<br />
people you trust and give<br />
them all the information<br />
they need to be helpful and<br />
then ask for help. For me,<br />
it was helpful when they<br />
would just ask “How do I<br />
help? What do you need?<br />
Give me the latest update?”<br />
You don’t have to have<br />
it all figured out. You<br />
just have to know what’s<br />
important for your brand<br />
and where you want to end<br />
up. From there the right<br />
people can help speed you<br />
LEARN<br />
MORE<br />
Visit<br />
Clifton+Leopold<br />
online.<br />
up or even land you in a<br />
better place.<br />
What is the future of<br />
Clifton+Leopold? Will<br />
we see different types of<br />
accessories or whole new<br />
branches of fashion?<br />
I don’t really know the full<br />
answer here because it isn’t<br />
really up to me. I’ve done<br />
my part and will continue<br />
to do my part but it is the<br />
Clifton+Leopold community<br />
that will help determine<br />
where we go ultimately.<br />
Now, we know we’ll<br />
continue to grow and add<br />
to our product lines. In<br />
my mind, Clifton+Leopold<br />
has always been a lifestyle<br />
brand and that will always<br />
shape who we are and<br />
take us in new product<br />
line directions. That’s why<br />
we launched our very own<br />
candle line last month.<br />
You’ll continue to see little<br />
twists like that. We want<br />
people to say “oh that<br />
is so Clifton+Leopold.”<br />
But ultimately we want<br />
the people who love<br />
Clifton+Leopold to play a<br />
role in helping us shape the<br />
future. And that’s exactly<br />
what’s been happening.<br />
Anything else you would<br />
like to add?<br />
Nashville is a wonderfully<br />
odd city. The support<br />
and willingness to help<br />
each other in our business<br />
community is rare. I<br />
couldn’t imagine launching<br />
Clifton+Leopold in any<br />
other city. EVERYONE in<br />
Nashville is trying to figure<br />
out how to help each<br />
other out, especially in the<br />
LGBTQ community.<br />
So I would challenge<br />
anyone thinking of turning<br />
their passion into a business<br />
to reach out to as many<br />
people as possible, buy<br />
them coffee and then pick<br />
their brain.<br />
Join the LGBT Chamber<br />
of Commerce, it’s an<br />
incredible resource and<br />
sponsors some great<br />
networking opportunities.<br />
The resources are helpful<br />
but the people you’ll meet<br />
are invaluable.<br />
Get plugged in and then<br />
spend 30% of your time<br />
helping out someone else<br />
on their journey. Rising<br />
water raises all boats.<br />
CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 15
SHELDON DIGGS (HE/HIM)<br />
Sheldon has been feeding the<br />
homeless for years. He started out<br />
in his own kitchen to bring a car full<br />
of food to the park by the library in<br />
downtown Nashville. This lead to the<br />
program called #StreetTeamLegal<br />
which began in July 2017. This<br />
has since become Souls United, a<br />
registered non-profit corporation<br />
established in September 2017.<br />
Now, the First Evangelical Lutheran<br />
Church houses Souls United every<br />
Wednesday in their Dining Hall,<br />
complete with a commercial kitchen.<br />
He helps arrange resources, homes,<br />
jobs for people when he can, but the<br />
core of what he does is providing<br />
amazing food and company to<br />
people who have gone through so<br />
much in life. He helps partner with<br />
other organizations to get people<br />
showers, haircuts, clothes, blankets,<br />
and more. He truly fights for the<br />
homeless and has this uncanny ability<br />
to recruit people to help him — even<br />
if they have never done anything for<br />
charity in their life.<br />
Sheldon is wearing<br />
Bow Tie: Bianca by<br />
Clifton+Leopold<br />
Page 16 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!
OUR <strong>2020</strong> OF PEOPLE TO KNOW:<br />
40 over 40<br />
Who says life stops after 40?<br />
by Lauren Means | photos courtesy <strong>Tenn</strong>essee Photographs<br />
We, at FMT, had the pleasure of learning about so many people over the past few<br />
months. Several, we already knew, but certainly still learned quite a bit. While we<br />
couldn’t place everyone in the magazine, we are creating a web page that will<br />
showcase all 40 individuals that were nominated and chosen to be recognized as one of<br />
the top 40 Over 40 people in <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee. We’re proud of their accomplishments<br />
and can only hope that we can achieve a fraction of what they have.<br />
RUSS ARNOLD (HE/HIM)<br />
Russ founded Shower The<br />
People, a nonprofit that provides<br />
mobile showers and hygiene<br />
supplies to individuals<br />
in need. Russ drives<br />
the bus that has been<br />
transformed into the<br />
mobile shower facility<br />
to different locations<br />
throughout Nashville<br />
providing showers<br />
to those folks living<br />
on the streets or in<br />
encampments. Russ<br />
has poured blood and<br />
sweat into the bus in<br />
order to be able to<br />
provide showers to<br />
those in need.<br />
Russ is out late at night, in the<br />
cold, rain, snow and the heat of<br />
summer to ensure that the bus<br />
is at the shower locations when<br />
promised. When the bus is having<br />
work completed, Russ drives a<br />
van to shower locations to pick<br />
up folks and drives them to a<br />
local church to shower so that<br />
our shower guests are still able to<br />
access the same resources every<br />
week. Without Russ, hundreds of<br />
individuals would have gone weeks<br />
without access to a hot shower,<br />
clean clothes and hygiene supplies.<br />
STEPHANIE (STEPH) BALLOU<br />
(SHE/HER)<br />
Steph was born and raised<br />
in Gallatin, <strong>Tenn</strong>essee and<br />
went to Hendersonville High.<br />
Steph is a fierce competitor<br />
with a huge drive. In her early<br />
years, she swam for Nashville<br />
Aquatic Club which led to a<br />
swim scholarship at George<br />
Washington University where<br />
she narrowly missed out on the<br />
Olympic qualifying time.<br />
Steph works for Alliance<br />
Bernstein (AB) and has made a<br />
huge impact in Nashville. Steph<br />
is the co-chair of the AB Out<br />
group taking a leadership role in<br />
integrating AB and Nashville. Her<br />
biggest task has been bringing<br />
AB to the forefront in Nashville<br />
Pride. During the Coronavirus<br />
she has led many<br />
‘happy hour’ zoom<br />
meetings for people<br />
to connect and just<br />
simply converse.<br />
Steph recently<br />
accepted a<br />
board role for<br />
the Nashville<br />
LGBT Chamber of<br />
Commerce taking<br />
an active part in the<br />
chamber business.<br />
DAWN BENNETT (SHE/HER)<br />
It wasn’t her plan to go to<br />
seminary in her 50s and<br />
begin life over as an ordained<br />
pastor. She has lived in <strong>Mid</strong>dle<br />
<strong>Tenn</strong>essee since the mid-’90s<br />
and has seen all too much harm<br />
from religion-based trauma,<br />
especially to LGBTQ+ youth and<br />
families. It was time to make a<br />
change and answer the call.<br />
She says it’s an honor to serve<br />
and she’s excited to participate<br />
in changing the face of our<br />
faith community — “As I serve<br />
I get to love on lots of folks, do<br />
what I can to repair the breach<br />
and build some<br />
new bridges<br />
to a happier,<br />
healthier and<br />
more affirming<br />
culture for our<br />
most vulnerable<br />
voices.”<br />
Pastor Dawn<br />
now runs The<br />
Table, a faith<br />
collective that<br />
promotes spiritual<br />
well-being for<br />
LGBTQIA+ and<br />
minority people groups in<br />
the exploration of self, faith,<br />
community and the deeper<br />
issues of being and belonging.<br />
CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 17
JEFF SWAFFORD (HE/HIM)<br />
In 2019, Jeff founded a nonprofit<br />
called Nashville Street Project<br />
which hires homeless people to<br />
clean up the streets of Nashville.<br />
Since it started last August, they<br />
have cleaned up over 8000 pounds<br />
of trash off the streets — and he is<br />
out there every week picking up<br />
trash alongside them because he<br />
doesn’t ask them to do anything he<br />
won’t do himself.<br />
Beyond giving them a job, he also<br />
makes sure they have what they<br />
need, especially in cold weather.<br />
He has given them tents, sleeping<br />
bags, clothes and food. He also<br />
takes them out to lunch on a regular<br />
basis as well as trips to the movies.<br />
In addition to the Nashville Street<br />
Project, he co-founded another<br />
nonprofit with a group of friends<br />
called Feed The Need Nashville.<br />
They serve lunch each Wednesday<br />
to the homeless in downtown<br />
Nashville at McKendree United<br />
Methodist Church. They also assist<br />
in getting IDs, replacement social<br />
security cards and birth certificates<br />
that are so important in getting jobs<br />
and housing.<br />
He said that he never saw<br />
himself doing this when he moved<br />
to Nashville but working with<br />
homeless people has changed his<br />
heart and he has truly found what<br />
he was meant to do.<br />
NEYDER MCDONALD (HE/HIM)<br />
Volunteering has been a<br />
passion of Neyder’s since<br />
he was 16 years old. His first<br />
volunteer moment came when<br />
his hometown of Caracas,<br />
Venezuela experienced flooding<br />
that wiped out homes and took<br />
lives. Neyder was devastated<br />
seeing people his age displaced<br />
and empathized with them. It<br />
was a very humbling experience<br />
that led to him appreciating<br />
whatever circumstances he<br />
was in and learning to navigate<br />
through his own problems while<br />
helping others with theirs.<br />
Prior to living in Nashville,<br />
Neyder lived in New York<br />
where he gave his time to<br />
organizations that helped<br />
with food drives for people<br />
infected with HIV/AIDS and<br />
the homeless. He also helped<br />
prepare and serve meals to the<br />
homeless during the holidays.<br />
Through his employer, he<br />
helped organize walks to benefit<br />
HIV/AIDS and childhood cancer<br />
research.<br />
Since moving to Nashville<br />
five years ago, Neyder has<br />
participated with the UBS Pride<br />
Employee Resource Group<br />
(ERG) and then accepted the<br />
position of chair of the ERG<br />
when it opened up. As chair, he<br />
has raised money and had the<br />
ERG donate time and resources<br />
to the Oasis Center and the Aids<br />
Walk.<br />
Under his leadership, not only<br />
has membership quadrupled in<br />
size, so has the participation in<br />
community outreach initiatives<br />
at UBS.<br />
RON SANFORD (HE/HIM)<br />
Ron is a special event professional<br />
and business owner. He currently<br />
owns and operates Ron Sanford<br />
Productions, LLC. in the heart of<br />
Nashville. After college, he settled<br />
in Atlanta. This is where he won<br />
the title of Mr. Gay World 1986<br />
and gained ownership of Lipstix<br />
Showbar. His event career emerged<br />
when he was hired by Mr. Ted<br />
Turner to provide catering to events<br />
which led to Ron working at the<br />
Atlanta Omni Hotel as a floral guru<br />
and production specialist. From<br />
here, his newly minted company,<br />
Cream of the Crop Productions,<br />
began catering elite events<br />
including filming of music videos for<br />
the likes of Sir Elton John.<br />
Ron eventually landed back<br />
in Nashville where he founded<br />
Flamboyant Designs. Through<br />
Flamboyant, he produced the<br />
opening ceremony for the Frist<br />
Center, the groundbreaking for<br />
the Country Music Hall of Fame<br />
and the Tin Pan South Music<br />
Festival. After the Supreme Court<br />
ruling on the Obergefell v. Hodges<br />
case was finalized in May 2015,<br />
he decided that it was time for a<br />
major life change, thus Ron Sanford<br />
Productions was officially launched.<br />
Since then, Ron Sanford<br />
Productions has produced the<br />
yearly charity gala for the Scott<br />
Hamilton Cares Foundation, was<br />
named annual planner of the<br />
<strong>Tenn</strong>essee Kidney Foundation’s<br />
annual gala, was named the annual<br />
producer for Miss Gay USofA and<br />
Miss Gay America, and has worked<br />
with the local LGBT community<br />
for fundraising events. You will<br />
often see him at various events<br />
lending his time, labor, money and<br />
creativity to causes that support<br />
the community like Nashville Pride,<br />
the Nashville LGBT Chamber of<br />
Commerce, Bianca Paige Day, and<br />
the Nashville Cares AIDS Walk.<br />
Page 18 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!
DR. ROBYN HENDERSON-<br />
ESPINOZA (THEY/THEM)<br />
Dr. Robyn is an activist<br />
theologian who uses story<br />
to mobilize folks for radical<br />
social change. They are also<br />
the founder of the Activist<br />
Theology Project and author<br />
of Activist Theology. Dr.<br />
Robyn was named 1 of 10 Faith<br />
Leaders to watch by the Center<br />
for American Progress in 2018.<br />
In addition to their work in<br />
theology and activism, Dr. Robyn<br />
has volunteered with many<br />
causes including the Colorado<br />
Latinas for Reproductive Justice<br />
(COLOR) in Denver, Colorado,<br />
the Depression & Bipolar<br />
Support Alliance in Chicago,<br />
Illinois, and the Leukemia &<br />
Lymphoma Society.<br />
Dr. Robyn is currently working<br />
with Open Table Nashville<br />
during cold nights getting<br />
homeless folks into shelters<br />
by canvassing the streets and<br />
transporting people.<br />
Dr. Robyn is wearing<br />
Bow Tie: Broadway<br />
by Clifton+Leopold<br />
CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 19
MAC HUFFINGTON (SHE/HER)<br />
Mac is wearing<br />
Twilly: Olive by<br />
Clifton+Leopold<br />
Mac is the wearer of many hats<br />
and a staple here in the LGBT<br />
Community. She is the founder<br />
and owner of MAC Productions,<br />
the Ms. <strong>Tenn</strong>essee Diamond<br />
Diva Pageant, and the Mr.<br />
Esquire MI Pageant — which is<br />
the longest-running pageant<br />
system in the Southeastern<br />
Region running for 24 years.<br />
She’s been the coordinator for<br />
the Nashville Pride Turnabout<br />
Fundraiser, the Nashville Pride<br />
Drag Stage and the original<br />
creator and coordinator for the<br />
Nashville Pride Pageant.<br />
Mac is on the board of<br />
Nashville Pride, the Nashville<br />
LGBT Chamber of Commerce<br />
and Nashville Black Pride. She<br />
has served as a coordinator<br />
with BASU (formerly known<br />
as Sister’s United) and as an<br />
off-campus advisor for the<br />
<strong>Tenn</strong>essee State University Gay<br />
& Straight Alliance. She was<br />
nominated for the Women Who<br />
Rock Community Service Award<br />
and recently accepted the<br />
nomination for Vice-President<br />
of the Nashville Pride Board.<br />
Mac holds an annual Toys<br />
for Tots Fundraiser and<br />
supports/volunteers for many<br />
organizations in the community<br />
including the Metro Human<br />
Relations Commission through<br />
the Mobile Diversity Police<br />
Training Seminars, Oasis Center,<br />
MashUp, LaunchPad and<br />
more. Mac enjoys her work in<br />
the community, traveling and<br />
spending time with her partner<br />
of 22 years, Stallion.<br />
Page 20 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!
JULIA TATE-KEITH, ESQ.<br />
Julia devotes herself to serving the needs of families.<br />
After law school, she worked with Judge William<br />
Frank Crawford on the <strong>Tenn</strong>essee Court of Appeals.<br />
During this time, she worked on the Court’s opinion in<br />
a ground-breaking opinion addressing the disposition<br />
of frozen embryos, Davis v. Davis. In 2017, she filed a<br />
lawsuit on behalf of six same-sex couples challenging<br />
the “natural meaning law” that former Gov. Bill Haslam<br />
signed into law that meant that a child conceived<br />
by artificial insemination to a lesbian couple would<br />
only have the biological mother’s name on the birth<br />
certificate. Thankfully, this case was quickly dismissed<br />
as a precedent had already been set with the<br />
legalization of marriage equality.<br />
In her private practice, Julia continues to help<br />
families. She handled the appeal which resulted in<br />
the ground-breaking opinion in Nale v. Robertson 871<br />
S.W.2d674 (1994), which protects the parental rights<br />
of fathers. She writes articles and monographs, drafts<br />
model legislation, and speaks at various meetings to<br />
advocate for the protection of the families formed by<br />
gay and lesbian parents.<br />
Julia has overcome adversity to get to where she is<br />
today including personal challenges that led her to<br />
fighting for LGBT+ rights her entire adult life. This has<br />
been quite evident in her dedication to creating the<br />
community group, Rainbow Rutherford. She is always<br />
advocating for the rights of others and making sure the<br />
underserved are represented.<br />
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transfocus<br />
Olivia is wearing<br />
Twilly: Harvest by<br />
Clifton+Leopold<br />
LIVE FREE<br />
by Lauren Means | photo courtesy of <strong>Tenn</strong>essee Photographs<br />
We all know, deep down, when we are different from what<br />
society deems “normal.” There can be an internal struggle,<br />
external battles with loved ones and oftentimes loneliness.<br />
While being transgender<br />
is more transparent now<br />
than even just a couple of<br />
years ago, it doesn’t change<br />
the fear one experiences.<br />
Olivia Hill, a native<br />
Nashvillian, knows this all<br />
too well. She’s open with<br />
her coming out story and<br />
said she realized at the age<br />
of five that she was the<br />
same as her mother. In an<br />
interview with Vanderbilt<br />
University Medical Center<br />
(VUMC), she said, “I felt the<br />
same as any other girl in my<br />
family.”<br />
In the fifth grade, her<br />
class had a variety show.<br />
She wanted to be Minnie<br />
Pearl from the Grand Ole<br />
Opry. Her mom made<br />
her a hat with flowers all<br />
over it like Minnie Pearl’s,<br />
but wouldn’t let her wear<br />
a dress. In overalls, she<br />
stepped out on the stage<br />
the day of the show, feeling<br />
so confident, and gave a<br />
“How-dee!” to the audience<br />
expecting a “How-dee!”<br />
back like Minnie Pearl<br />
would be greeted. She<br />
was, however, met with<br />
silence and said she was<br />
completely embarrassed.<br />
She left the stage in tears.<br />
That night, Hill and her<br />
mother had a long talk that<br />
ended with her being taken<br />
to a psychiatrist in Green<br />
Hills where she would<br />
spend the next two years<br />
being taught “how to be a<br />
boy.”<br />
When she was old<br />
enough, she enlisted in the<br />
military and entered boot<br />
camp. This is where she<br />
really learned to suppress<br />
her true self and she<br />
developed her “manly, cool,<br />
super awesome” persona.<br />
An Evolution<br />
It wouldn’t last forever<br />
though. Her mother passed<br />
away in 2015 and that’s<br />
when she said her “egg<br />
cracked” meaning that’s<br />
when everything she had<br />
suppressed came to the<br />
surface. “I knew I couldn’t<br />
hide me any longer,” Hill said.<br />
She began seeing a<br />
therapist and after two<br />
years worked up the<br />
courage to start taking<br />
estrogen. In September<br />
2018, she legally changed<br />
her name to Olivia Ruth<br />
Hill paying homage to her<br />
grandmother with her<br />
middle name Ruth and<br />
her mother by taking her<br />
maiden name Hill. She<br />
wanted to acknowledge<br />
the two strong, amazing<br />
women in her life.<br />
Hill eventually had<br />
gender-confirming surgery<br />
at Duke University. She said<br />
it’s after having surgery<br />
that a lot of transgender<br />
individuals go through a<br />
very dark place. “I was<br />
as scared as I have ever<br />
been in my entire life,” she<br />
revealed. She was finally<br />
herself but she was also<br />
alone.<br />
After some setbacks<br />
finding an affirming plastic<br />
surgeon, she found one<br />
at VUMC and had facial<br />
feminization surgery in May<br />
2019.<br />
Finding Support<br />
Living her truth has cost<br />
Page 22 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!
her many relationships<br />
including her adult children,<br />
lifelong friends, and even<br />
being denied the ability to<br />
meet her granddaughter.<br />
Hill said, “To be honest there<br />
is no difference between<br />
a lesbian, a gay man or<br />
trans person that makes<br />
the decision to say.... this<br />
is my authentic self. Some<br />
have support. Some lose<br />
everything. My best advice<br />
is to try to surround yourself<br />
with good, positive and<br />
supportive people. The good<br />
news if you lose your family,<br />
the LGBTQ community is<br />
really great about stepping<br />
in and helping each other.<br />
Then you have your chosen<br />
family.”<br />
Sometimes the unknown<br />
can be the scariest part of<br />
finally living your authentic<br />
life. Getting proper<br />
information can combat<br />
a lot of this fear. “There is<br />
so much bad information<br />
out there. When a person<br />
starts to transition they<br />
usually start looking online<br />
for groups and information.<br />
It has been my experience<br />
that when a person has a<br />
bad encounter they will<br />
log on and share as much<br />
about it in graphic detail.<br />
When things go well, most<br />
people don’t say anything.<br />
So it sets us all up to be<br />
scared,” explained Hill.<br />
She went on to say,<br />
“Then there is our own<br />
head. We all are our own<br />
worst critics. Fear is a liar<br />
and has a way to steer us<br />
into solitude. Which makes<br />
things even worse.” Hill’s<br />
advice when one starts<br />
to have fear creep in is to<br />
reach out and ask for help.<br />
Building Community<br />
Hill has submerged<br />
herself into community<br />
activities. She is on the<br />
Equity Diversity Inclusion<br />
committee under the<br />
University Staff Advisory<br />
Council where she was<br />
elected to serve a twoyear<br />
term at Vanderbilt.<br />
She is also on the Women’s<br />
Committee at Vanderbilt<br />
University, volunteers at<br />
VUMC through the Trans<br />
Buddy Program, and helps<br />
run the trans support<br />
group at the Table with<br />
Dawn Bennett among<br />
other projects.<br />
While being involved in<br />
the community helps with<br />
building confidence, she<br />
said, “it just takes time to<br />
build up the courage to fully<br />
relax and be our true selves.<br />
My story is not unique to me<br />
nor to transgender people.<br />
Many have had similar<br />
struggles with friends and<br />
family when they came<br />
out. Many still pretend to<br />
be straight around family<br />
just to not be shunned.<br />
Sometimes people feel it’s<br />
better to fake it than to sit at<br />
home alone on the holidays.<br />
That hurts my heart thinking<br />
about how many out there<br />
are living a lie, just like I did<br />
for years.”<br />
Of all the things she<br />
has learned during her<br />
transition, Hill stated there<br />
are some things that are<br />
never discussed enough<br />
during transitioning.<br />
She said, “For me, I had<br />
absolutely no idea how<br />
much privilege I had as an<br />
acting cis-gender white<br />
straight male. No one talks<br />
about losing privilege. But<br />
it goes away fast. I’ve had<br />
more issues with just plain<br />
sexism and loss of privilege<br />
than I ever did with<br />
transphobia. I’m quite the<br />
feminist and believe the Me<br />
Too movement needs to<br />
expand and grow.”<br />
To watch Olivia’s<br />
interview with VUMC click<br />
here.<br />
www.CliftonandLeopold.com
life<br />
SO MUCH<br />
LOVE TO GIVE<br />
by Lauren Means | photos courtesy of Ernie Ratliff and George Fenner<br />
Family planning has always been a different experience for members of the LGBT+<br />
community. There is sometimes a different set of legal, financial and societal hurdles<br />
we have to jump in order to start a family, especially adoption for LGBT+ families. It<br />
has played out in the news time and time again — adoption agencies denying same-sex<br />
couples the right to adopt children who are in the system and desperately need a home.<br />
It’s always nice to share<br />
a success story where<br />
children who need homes<br />
have a smooth transition<br />
to adoption. This has been<br />
the case for Ernie Ratliff<br />
and his husband George<br />
Fenner. Ernie and George<br />
have been together for 35<br />
years. They met through<br />
work while they were<br />
both attending school in<br />
Florida where Ernie studied<br />
accounting and George<br />
became a registered nurse.<br />
After Hurricane Charley<br />
blew through where they<br />
lived in 2005, they decided<br />
to move to Murfreesboro<br />
where Ernie’s sister lives.<br />
It Was Destiny<br />
It was Ernie’s sister who<br />
introduced the idea of<br />
fostering. In 2009 they<br />
started classes for foster<br />
certification and took their<br />
first placement the day<br />
after Christmas that year.<br />
Since then, they’ve had 25<br />
placements and in 2010<br />
they decided they wanted<br />
a family of their own that<br />
would be permanent. “We<br />
reached out to our foster<br />
agency and asked for foster<br />
to adopt placements,”<br />
said Ernie. This was when<br />
they met 10-year-old<br />
Destiny. Ernie said, “she<br />
had interests similar to ours<br />
Page 24 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!
especially with animals<br />
and she moved in with us<br />
in May 2011 the day school<br />
ended for the year.” Seven<br />
months later, George and<br />
Ernie officially adopted her.<br />
She is now 20 and mother<br />
to their first grandchild.<br />
They couldn’t stop with<br />
Destiny. “We continued to<br />
seek out foster to adopt<br />
children as well as children<br />
whose goal was family<br />
reunification. In 2014 we<br />
heard of a sibling pair — a<br />
boy and girl who were<br />
eight named James and<br />
Jessie. They moved in with<br />
us in August of 2014 and<br />
we were lucky enough<br />
to adopt them in June of<br />
2015,” recalled Ernie. This<br />
happened just two weeks<br />
before the Supreme Court<br />
ruling allowing same-sex<br />
marriage.<br />
“Up until that time, only<br />
one gay parent could<br />
adopt through the state,”<br />
Ernie explained referring to<br />
<strong>Tenn</strong>essee, “and then you<br />
would have to do a second<br />
parent adoption separately<br />
after finalization. In this<br />
case a judge in Sumner<br />
county allowed us to adopt<br />
jointly without the benefit<br />
of marriage yet.” They were<br />
eventually wed August 29,<br />
2015.<br />
They went on to adopt<br />
three more children at<br />
different times that were all<br />
around the age of 17. “Jay is<br />
our daughter who is almost<br />
21 and now lives in Texas.<br />
We adopted Jay in June<br />
2017. Cody is our son that<br />
came to live with us in May<br />
2019 and we adopted him<br />
in May <strong>2020</strong> — two months<br />
before he turned 18. He is<br />
currently a senior in high<br />
school and graduates this<br />
May,” said Ernie.<br />
Melody moved in with<br />
them when she was 13 and<br />
lived with them for three<br />
years before moving to<br />
another pre adoptive home<br />
in 2019. “Through no fault<br />
of hers, the placement<br />
didn’t work out and she<br />
was moved to a foster<br />
home. She contacted us<br />
and asked if we could see<br />
if she could come back<br />
to us,” remembers Ernie.<br />
They contacted DCS and<br />
her guardian ad litem<br />
who, along with her entire<br />
foster care team, agreed<br />
to allow her to move<br />
back in with them in May<br />
<strong>2020</strong>. Typically there is a<br />
six month waiting period<br />
before one can adopt<br />
their foster child, but<br />
since Melody lived with<br />
them previously, the judge<br />
waived this requirement<br />
and they were able to<br />
adopt her in August <strong>2020</strong>.<br />
She is also a senior in high<br />
school and will graduate<br />
this May.<br />
Love, Guidance and<br />
Structure<br />
When asked why they<br />
decided on adoption,<br />
Ernie said, “We realize<br />
the importance of family<br />
reunification when<br />
possible, but throughout<br />
our journey we met and<br />
heard of so many children<br />
— especially the older<br />
ones — that needed a<br />
forever home. We were<br />
at the place in our lives<br />
where we had the means<br />
and maturity to offer our<br />
love and home to children<br />
forever.”<br />
He acknowledged<br />
teenagers are hard to place<br />
and usually have trauma<br />
backgrounds that can be<br />
challenging but says with<br />
love and guidance and<br />
structure these children<br />
can flourish and have very<br />
successful lives. “They<br />
bring so much to us in so<br />
many ways. Our lives have<br />
been forever changed for<br />
the better,” said Ernie. They<br />
currently have a 13-year-old<br />
foster son who has been<br />
with them for a little over<br />
a year. Ernie said he will be<br />
available for adoption and<br />
they will decide if the fit is<br />
a good one for everyone.<br />
Private vs State<br />
Ernie and George have<br />
only fostered and adopted<br />
through state licensed<br />
foster agencies. They never<br />
felt the need to use private<br />
or religious agencies<br />
but do take advantage<br />
of support groups and<br />
counseling through<br />
Catholic charities and<br />
similar programs. “I know<br />
that there has been talk<br />
that some of their divisions<br />
or branches can be nonfamily<br />
friendly. We have<br />
never experienced this in<br />
almost 10 years of contact.<br />
Everyone has been very<br />
supportive of us and our<br />
kiddos,” said Ernie.<br />
He did reveal that during<br />
their first encounter<br />
with adoption during<br />
a Department of Child<br />
Services (DCS) Child and<br />
Family Team Meeting<br />
(CFTM), they were<br />
discussing adoption and<br />
the flow of events that<br />
would take place and<br />
a team member made<br />
a comment something<br />
like “I’m not entirely<br />
comfortable with a gay<br />
parent adopting.”<br />
Ernie said their adoption<br />
specialist from the foster<br />
agency immediately<br />
spoke up and told them<br />
that this sort of talk<br />
was completely out of<br />
line and would not be<br />
continued or maybe some<br />
legal representation was<br />
needed. “Nothing ever<br />
was said again,” Ernie said<br />
with a smile.<br />
Self-Evaluate Before<br />
Taking the Leap<br />
Ernie said they’ve had<br />
quite a few allies in their<br />
journey and are forever<br />
grateful for all of the<br />
support and love. He does<br />
urge others to do their<br />
research and understand<br />
exactly what you are<br />
getting into. “It is a lifelong<br />
responsibility that not<br />
everyone can handle.<br />
We chose to foster first<br />
and see how we were as<br />
parents, a couple and a<br />
family,” explained Ernie.<br />
You must know your<br />
rights, your child’s rights<br />
and the law. Ernie said the<br />
journey is very fulfilling<br />
but can be overwhelming<br />
— especially being<br />
LGBT+. “The schools,<br />
doctors, therapists, kids<br />
friends and parents can<br />
sometimes judge or have<br />
a preconceived thought of<br />
what my family is or should<br />
be. Being an advocate<br />
for yourself and your kids<br />
along with having a thick<br />
skin sometimes can be<br />
very helpful. Emotions can<br />
override the best interests<br />
and I guess picking and<br />
choosing your battles is<br />
the best way to put it,”<br />
according to Ernie.<br />
Life in a New Light<br />
“Adoption is such a<br />
wonderful thing. It made<br />
us see life and what’s<br />
important in a much<br />
different light,” Ernie<br />
said. While he admits<br />
parenting can be tiring,<br />
overwhelming and time<br />
consuming, he said there<br />
is no greater reward than<br />
seeing a child grow and<br />
become themselves. “The<br />
progress we have seen in<br />
our kids both adoptive and<br />
foster is so satisfying and<br />
gives a sense of purpose<br />
every day.”<br />
CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 25
lgbt youth<br />
SUPPORTING YOUTH:<br />
A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH<br />
by Lauren Means | photos courtesy of Brianna Fearing<br />
In larger cities and<br />
metro areas, it’s becoming<br />
easier to find resources<br />
and services for the<br />
LGBT+ community. This<br />
is something that’s taken<br />
many years and a lot of<br />
blood, sweat and tears.<br />
Now, it’s members of the<br />
community in the suburbs<br />
and rural areas that are<br />
working to bring resources<br />
and services to their areas.<br />
Brianna Fearing is<br />
leading the charge for the<br />
LGBT+ youth in Maury and<br />
Marshall Counties. Living<br />
in <strong>Tenn</strong>essee for the last<br />
eight years, Fearing notes<br />
the climate is noticeably<br />
more conservative than<br />
New England where she’s<br />
from originally. “I was really<br />
shocked that people would<br />
have Marriage = 1 Man +<br />
1 Woman plastered on<br />
the back of their car but<br />
now that’s become a part<br />
of the scenery. I’ve only<br />
been openly discriminated<br />
against one time in the<br />
four-ish years that I’ve<br />
been out of the closet.<br />
However, my wife and I<br />
don’t advertise that we’re a<br />
couple,” said Fearing.<br />
Fearing and her wife<br />
don’t feel safe holding<br />
hands in public and she<br />
doesn’t feel safe disclosing<br />
she’s gay to the parents<br />
of her daughter’s friends<br />
for fear it could disrupt<br />
her child’s social life. She<br />
explained, “Overall, I don’t<br />
discuss it openly unless I<br />
trust the other person. That<br />
being said, I’m the picture<br />
of a cliche lesbian and wear<br />
rainbow stuff all the time,<br />
so I imagine people make<br />
their own assessment.”<br />
While she’s doing a lot<br />
of the work building this<br />
community behind the<br />
scenes, bringing awareness<br />
to the LGBT+ community<br />
in the area and changing<br />
the climate to one of<br />
acceptance is why she is<br />
doing this and stated, “I<br />
plan to step up and be<br />
transparent about myself<br />
and my group once there is<br />
enough support.”<br />
History Not<br />
Repeating Itself<br />
For Fearing, it was her<br />
own experience growing<br />
up and coming out that<br />
pushed her to create the<br />
Marshall and Maury County<br />
LGBTQ Alliance group on<br />
Facebook. She said, “As a<br />
teen, I tried to come out<br />
of the closet several times<br />
and each time was pushed<br />
back in by either my parents<br />
or relentless bullying. As a<br />
result, I pushed my feelings<br />
down and didn’t officially<br />
come out of the closet — for<br />
good — until my late 20s.”<br />
Fearing married her best<br />
male friend and they had a<br />
child together. She finally<br />
admitted her true feelings<br />
at age 28. Now 33, she’s<br />
happily married to a woman<br />
and still very close friends<br />
with her child’s father. She<br />
recognizes things would’ve<br />
been different for her in<br />
high school and young<br />
adulthood if she’d had a<br />
support system or a safe<br />
place to be herself. “My<br />
mental health suffered so<br />
much in high school,” said<br />
Fearing.<br />
Having a child of her<br />
own who is entering<br />
kindergarten has brought<br />
up these feelings again.<br />
Her child hasn’t expressed<br />
anything to do with being<br />
queer but just having a<br />
child reminded her of what<br />
it was like to be in school.<br />
“I wanted to create a<br />
safe space for the youth in<br />
this area to be themselves,<br />
connect with other people<br />
and get resources — LGBT+<br />
specific healthcare and<br />
mental health care, HIV/<br />
STD testing and care,<br />
resources for queer<br />
BIPOC, scholarships,<br />
churches, support groups,<br />
homelessness, emergency<br />
services, etc.,” Fearing said.<br />
Having support can mean<br />
the difference between<br />
life and death for some<br />
people. She revealed, “As<br />
a teen, there were times I<br />
considered suicide because<br />
of my sexuality, and I know<br />
this is the case for a huge<br />
number of queer youth.”<br />
Building Resources<br />
“Initially, I wasn’t<br />
sure what I wanted to<br />
accomplish, and that’s still<br />
in flux,” said Fearing. She<br />
began doing research,<br />
established a Facebook<br />
page and started building<br />
an online presence to get<br />
the word out.<br />
She envisions a support<br />
group after school for<br />
teens to sit around and<br />
talk where she could<br />
serve as the catalyst for<br />
getting things started but<br />
allowing the youth to run<br />
it and take ownership of<br />
their own support group.<br />
Page 26 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!
“That was my initial vision,<br />
however, it’s become<br />
apparent that there’s a<br />
need for local queer adults<br />
as well, though I haven’t<br />
developed a plan for that<br />
yet,” Fearing explained.<br />
COVID, of course, has made<br />
it more difficult to try to get<br />
a group together in person,<br />
but this has forced Fearing<br />
to focus more on building<br />
a solid community before<br />
taking action.<br />
Expanding on Diversity<br />
Fearing thinks that any<br />
sort of LGBT+ group would<br />
be beneficial in her area.<br />
“Nashville is much more<br />
culturally diverse than<br />
where I live, so there isn’t<br />
a vibrant openly queer<br />
community that I’m aware<br />
of. I’d love to have the<br />
opportunity to meet with<br />
fellow queer folks and<br />
support queer youth,” she<br />
said.<br />
Locally, the Franklin<br />
PFLAG chapter does<br />
a phenomenal job for<br />
parents of queer children<br />
but there’s very little<br />
support of queer youth<br />
in local schools based on<br />
conversations with others<br />
in the area. “Recently,<br />
teachers from a local<br />
middle school reached out<br />
to me and a friend of mine<br />
who’s active in the queer<br />
community with PFLAG<br />
and <strong>Tenn</strong>essee Equality<br />
Project about helping start<br />
a GSA in their school. We<br />
did a lot of brainstorming<br />
and developed a plan,”<br />
recalled Fearing. Barring<br />
some initial pushback from<br />
some more conservative<br />
faculty, the kids are<br />
actively getting their GSA<br />
going with the help of their<br />
teachers.<br />
She doesn’t feel alone<br />
in the drive for youth<br />
programs and said others<br />
clearly recognize the need<br />
for queer youth support,<br />
“I’ve recently been reached<br />
out to about collaborating<br />
to create a youth pride<br />
event for next year. I think<br />
this sort of momentum<br />
is what the local queer<br />
community needs,<br />
especially kids who need<br />
support the most.”<br />
For more information check<br />
out the Marshall and Maury<br />
County LGBTQ Alliance<br />
Facebook group.<br />
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faith+spirituality<br />
‘YOU ARE BELOVED’<br />
By Lauren Means | photos courtesy Pastor Dawn Bennett & The Table<br />
I grew up in the Church<br />
of Christ. I was never taught<br />
to hate but I do remember<br />
hearing the phrase “hate<br />
the sin, not the sinner”<br />
frequently. As I grew older,<br />
I started to question what<br />
that meant exactly. When I<br />
came to terms with my own<br />
sexual orientation, I realized<br />
I was the sin. This has led to<br />
much time reflecting on my<br />
personal relationship with<br />
religion and spirituality.<br />
This is common for many in<br />
the LGBT+ community. We’re<br />
inundated with it in the news,<br />
on TV, on social media, and<br />
often in our families. We’re<br />
told we are broken; that<br />
there’s something wrong with<br />
who we are; that we need<br />
fixing.<br />
Luckily, there are numerous<br />
affirming faith communities<br />
in the <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee area.<br />
Many are in Nashville but you<br />
can find them in outlying<br />
areas too. In the South,<br />
being affirming to the LGBT+<br />
community is a bold stance<br />
to take. We’re fortunate to<br />
have organizations that go<br />
out of their way to let us<br />
know we are loved as we<br />
are. The Table is a welcome<br />
addition to the list.<br />
Finding Her Truth<br />
The Table is described as<br />
an organic faith community<br />
by its founder Pastor Dawn<br />
Bennett. Pastor Dawn was<br />
raised with her siblings in the<br />
Catholic tradition. “Strangely,<br />
from an early age, I was<br />
driven to go inside with my<br />
feelings and questions, which<br />
included my bisexuality. As<br />
a kid, I began talking to God<br />
in a conversational way,” she<br />
said. Pastor Dawn explained<br />
while she didn’t learn this in<br />
Sunday School per se, it’s<br />
what developed for her. She<br />
also shared that, over the<br />
years, she learned about<br />
abuses her siblings endured<br />
— especially her brothers —<br />
within the church. She kept<br />
talking with God about how<br />
this could be and eventually<br />
found the Catholic doctrine<br />
wasn’t a maintainable faith<br />
tradition for her.<br />
Embracing Her Truth<br />
In the mid-’90s, when<br />
her children were young,<br />
Pastor Dawn and her family<br />
moved to <strong>Tenn</strong>essee.<br />
She’d transitioned to the<br />
Evangelical Lutheran<br />
Church in America (ELCA)<br />
and began working in lay<br />
ministry, teaching and<br />
Vacation Bible School.<br />
As time passed, her<br />
children wanted a youth<br />
group with all the buttons<br />
and bells. “Enter [the] bigbox<br />
evangelical church,”<br />
she said. “A few years in,<br />
my middle child came out<br />
as lesbian. Or, actually, was<br />
outed by the youth pastor’s<br />
wife.....no way! Yes, way. Well,<br />
family and church life blew up<br />
and before I knew it, none of<br />
my kids would go to church<br />
and divorce was right around<br />
the bend,” shared Pastor<br />
Dawn.<br />
As the years progressed,<br />
she said her conversations<br />
with God turned more to<br />
rage and questions. “But still,<br />
I couldn’t seem to separate<br />
myself from either my lived<br />
experiences or ministry. Over<br />
time God began talking back<br />
to me in answers like, ‘if you<br />
want something to change,<br />
change it.’ So, I did,” she<br />
said. She went to Vanderbilt<br />
Divinity School and Luther<br />
Seminary. Now, she works to<br />
help people and families heal<br />
Page 28 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!
from religious trauma as well<br />
as find and create meaningful<br />
ways to engage with their<br />
faith as they understand it.<br />
“I’m ordained to the Ministry<br />
of Word and Sacrament —<br />
which basically means if we<br />
can dream it, I can do it, as far<br />
as the Church is concerned,”<br />
she explained.<br />
Cultivating her Truth<br />
Pastor Dawn said, “As<br />
Pastor, there’re really only<br />
two questions I seek to<br />
learn: 1) what do you need,<br />
and 2) how can I help. That<br />
said, some of the greatest<br />
needs I know about involve<br />
safe places for us to ‘be us,’<br />
whatever that looks like for a<br />
person.”<br />
She’s learned that most of<br />
us practice some sort of faith<br />
and many of us come from<br />
Christian traditions that have,<br />
in some way, harmed us.<br />
One of the most important<br />
needs she sees is what she<br />
calls bridge-building. “That<br />
is, building bridges to span<br />
the gap between the hurt<br />
and the healing. My Bishop,<br />
Rev. Kevin Strickland, gave<br />
me permission to ‘get as<br />
radical as necessary to help<br />
those who have need.’ He<br />
knows what the needs are,<br />
perhaps better than I do<br />
in fact. Before becoming<br />
Bishop he was a pastor here,<br />
in Nashville. By calling me as<br />
a pastor to serve here, he’s<br />
helped create an opportunity<br />
for the ELCA Lutheran<br />
church to become part of the<br />
remedy,” said Pastor Dawn.<br />
She continued, “The<br />
‘Church,’ that is the whole<br />
Christian church, all<br />
denominations, has done<br />
great harm to LGBT+ folx<br />
over the centuries — this we<br />
know. The Table aims to help<br />
heal some of those wounds.”<br />
She said they aim to be a<br />
place where one’s authentic<br />
self, in all their beautiful mess,<br />
can come together and<br />
create something new and<br />
beautiful.<br />
Sharing Her Truth<br />
When asked for advice for<br />
someone who is struggling<br />
with balancing being true<br />
to their identity and their<br />
spirituality, she said, “God,<br />
created you AS you are.<br />
You’re loved and beautiful<br />
in your Creator’s eyes. I<br />
believe this so deeply and<br />
my claim is evidenced by the<br />
Prophets of old; Jeremiah<br />
1:5 says, ‘I knew you before<br />
you were formed.’ There’s no<br />
expectation on God’s part for<br />
us to be anyone other than<br />
who we’re led to be. We all<br />
know our truth. It sits deep<br />
within us. Some call it a gut<br />
feeling, some inner knowing,<br />
some intuition, some the<br />
Spirit within. All of these are<br />
correct and they all speak the<br />
same Truth.”<br />
She went further to say, “If<br />
you know how you are called<br />
to live, lean gently into it. If<br />
your faith tradition does not<br />
lead you deeper into yourself<br />
and further toward love, you<br />
have likely outgrown that<br />
part of your faith journey.<br />
God has not made any<br />
mistakes and God does not<br />
make any junk. God is love<br />
and we are love. The risk and<br />
reward is in keeping on the<br />
path of learning how to carry<br />
those realities in tandem.<br />
And, for me, that’s why we<br />
call ourselves the Beloved<br />
Community.”<br />
Faith is Like a Garden<br />
Some groups are more<br />
vulnerable than others<br />
when it comes to finding a<br />
welcoming spiritual family.<br />
Pastor Dawn said, “The<br />
Table provides ‘grace and<br />
a place for you.’ What this<br />
means is, wherever you<br />
find yourself on the path<br />
of faith, you are welcome.<br />
But more importantly,<br />
you are affirmed.” She<br />
points out that welcoming<br />
and affirming isn’t the<br />
same. This is an important<br />
distinction when someone<br />
of the LGBT+ community is<br />
looking for a faith home.<br />
“It can be a slow crawl<br />
back to a sense of safety.<br />
Many of us, particularly in<br />
the trans* community, have<br />
been so hurt and harmed it<br />
feels impossible to heal. But<br />
as scripture says ‘nothing is<br />
impossible with God,’” she<br />
said.<br />
The Table will be a place<br />
of healing and reconnecting<br />
back to a life-giving place<br />
to practice faith. She wants<br />
to tell people that it’s okay<br />
to talk, rage and inquire;<br />
that God can handle it. The<br />
Table will provide a place of<br />
freedom to explore those<br />
areas of life and death where<br />
faith is concerned.<br />
“Pruning is a spiritually<br />
sound principle. I hope to<br />
illustrate an example of faith<br />
like a garden: some things<br />
have to die before others<br />
can come to life; sometimes<br />
weeds and flowers grow<br />
together in the same plot;<br />
something is always in<br />
bloom. At the minimum, The<br />
Table hopes to be a place<br />
to work the soil of your<br />
faith. At most, we hope to<br />
be a garden,” stated Pastor<br />
Dawn.<br />
Looking Forward<br />
She planted the<br />
roots and really started<br />
growing the community<br />
at the beginning of this<br />
year — and then COVID<br />
hit. That hasn’t stopped<br />
The Table from moving<br />
forward. On <strong>Dec</strong>ember 4,<br />
at 7 pm, they’re hosting<br />
“Drag Wership - Live” in<br />
collaboration with Mac<br />
Productions. They also<br />
have the Community Hope<br />
Chest which provides free<br />
clothing and accessories<br />
to transgender individuals<br />
who experience a barrier to<br />
resources. In January, they<br />
plan to begin live Queer Mic<br />
Nite.<br />
They’ll soon begin a<br />
Wednesday evening adult<br />
scripture study twice<br />
monthly via zoom. It’ll be a<br />
place to bring your doubts,<br />
fears, questions and hopes.<br />
Rainbow Connection is<br />
an LGBT+ youth group via<br />
zoom (for now) aimed at<br />
providing a place for youth<br />
who have more questions<br />
than their current youth<br />
group serves and a place<br />
where they can be more<br />
fully themselves. Pastor<br />
Dawn has begun posting<br />
a monthly newsletter on<br />
social media and all events<br />
are on The Table’s website.<br />
“Since our activities grow<br />
out of need, we create<br />
new opportunities to meet<br />
people where they are to<br />
help them make meaning of<br />
life and faith,” she said.<br />
If you have a dream, Pastor<br />
Dawn urges you to talk to<br />
her to see how she can help<br />
make it come to life. She<br />
equated a pastor to a cruise<br />
ship captain saying, “I only<br />
drive the boat. Everyone<br />
knows it’s the crew who<br />
runs the place and the<br />
people on board who make<br />
it a collective life-giving<br />
experience.” She does need<br />
your help in however God<br />
moves you to be involved.<br />
Most importantly, she wants<br />
you to know: “God loves you<br />
as you are, for who you are<br />
and where you are. Wherever<br />
you are, it’s okay. You are<br />
beloved.”<br />
The Table always needs<br />
volunteers and funding. For<br />
more information on how<br />
you can help or how to get<br />
involved in the services, visit<br />
thetablenashville.org.<br />
CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 29
Today, there are almost<br />
1500 Sisters worldwide with<br />
over 50 houses in North<br />
America and houses on<br />
nearly every continent in the<br />
world. The Music City Sisters<br />
of Perpetual Indulgence<br />
(MCSPI) formed in 2010<br />
when they took the plunge<br />
and opened the Nashville<br />
house. While all houses<br />
are independent, they<br />
follow the founding mission<br />
statement of the Order in<br />
San Fransisco:<br />
“The Sisters of Perpetual<br />
Indulgence® are a leadingcommunity<br />
‘IT’S WHAT’S UNDER THE<br />
CORONET THAT COUNTS’<br />
by Lauren Means | photos courtesy of Music City Sisters<br />
The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence® is a charity, protest and street performance<br />
organization. The first house, The Mother House, was started 41 years ago in San<br />
Francisco when a group of gay men began wearing nun habits in visible situations to<br />
draw attention to social conflicts and problems in the Castro District. The sisters took vows<br />
to Promulgate Universal Joy and Expiate Stigmatic Guilt and their website states, “We are<br />
here for our community to foster hope, creativity, and wellness!”<br />
edge Order of queer and<br />
trans nuns. We believe<br />
all people have a right<br />
to express their unique<br />
joy and beauty. Since<br />
our first appearance in<br />
San Francisco on Easter<br />
Sunday, 1979, the Sisters<br />
have devoted ourselves<br />
to community service,<br />
ministry and outreach to<br />
those on the edges, and to<br />
promoting human rights,<br />
respect for diversity and<br />
spiritual enlightenment.<br />
We use humor and<br />
irreverent wit to expose<br />
Page 30 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!
the forces of bigotry,<br />
complacency and guilt that<br />
chain the human spirit.”<br />
While the Music City<br />
Sisters are celebrating<br />
their 10 year anniversary<br />
this year, they’ve had to<br />
cancel all planned events<br />
until recently. We spoke<br />
with the Sisters to find out<br />
more about their purpose,<br />
how COVID-19 has affected<br />
them, and what we have to<br />
look forward to from the<br />
organization.<br />
<strong>Focus</strong> <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee:<br />
What types of events<br />
and fundraisers do the<br />
Music City Sisters host<br />
and who benefits from the<br />
fundraisers?<br />
Music City Sisters of<br />
Perpetual Indulgence: Last<br />
year your Music City Sisters<br />
raised over ten thousand<br />
dollars that we granted to<br />
<strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee LGBTQ+<br />
organizations. We have<br />
several fundraising events<br />
each year including The<br />
Pink Panty Pulldown, The<br />
Freak and Fetish Fashion<br />
Show, Soak A Sister, Bitches<br />
Ball and many more. We are<br />
a non-profit organization<br />
working with local LGBTQ+<br />
organizations to help those<br />
in need.<br />
FMT: How has COVID-19<br />
affected the MCSPI?<br />
MCSPI: COVID-19 has<br />
been extremely tough<br />
for the Sisters across the<br />
globe. We are a community<br />
outreach organization. We<br />
go where we are needed.<br />
We hug people, give them<br />
a smile, listen to them and<br />
generally try to make them<br />
feel fabulous. This is nearly<br />
impossible to do virtually.<br />
We have been challenged<br />
to continue our work<br />
online. We have been going<br />
through a metamorphosis<br />
of sorts. We long for the<br />
day we can hit the streets<br />
again and hug people!<br />
FMT: How can our readers<br />
help support the MCSPI?<br />
MCSPI: Donations! If<br />
people want to help out,<br />
please use PayPal alms@<br />
musiccitysisters.org. We<br />
also have Square, FB pay<br />
and many other ways to<br />
donate, so please use<br />
the “alms” email address<br />
above to find us where<br />
you donate. Also, email<br />
the “alms” address to ask<br />
for help in donating or<br />
with questions. Folks can<br />
also use Amazon Smile<br />
and search for the Music<br />
City Sisters to donate<br />
every time you order.<br />
Our general email is<br />
musiccitysistersmedia@<br />
gmail.com<br />
FMT: Any upcoming<br />
events we can look<br />
forward to?<br />
MCSPI: We are currently<br />
working on the Bitches<br />
Ball, where performers<br />
of all stripes compete to<br />
raise the most money and<br />
win the BB crown at the<br />
end of October. You can<br />
find more information<br />
on all social media by<br />
searching the Music City<br />
Sisters.<br />
FMT: Anything else you<br />
would like to add?<br />
MCSPI: We want the<br />
readers to know that we<br />
Music City Sisters support<br />
all LGBTQ+ people no<br />
matter race, gender,<br />
religion, creed, or anything<br />
else. You are exactly who<br />
you are supposed to be<br />
and you are beautiful! We<br />
also encourage everyone<br />
to make a plan and vote or<br />
vote early and have your<br />
voice heard.<br />
Don’t forget, as Sister<br />
Mary Chastity Mistress of<br />
Propaganda and Media<br />
says, “It’s what’s under the<br />
coronet that counts.”<br />
CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 31
travel<br />
PRIDE JOURNEYS<br />
MONTEREY,<br />
CALIFORNIA<br />
story and photos by Joey Amato<br />
For nearly a decade, Monterey has been on my bucket list of U.S.<br />
destinations I wished to visit. The picturesque seaside town always<br />
seemed to pop up on my social media feed just when I was in need<br />
of a relaxing vacation. I decided this year would be the year I ventured to<br />
Monterey. I flew into San Jose airport where I met up with Joey Suarez, a<br />
friend and EDM musician who decided to tag along for this journey. It was<br />
also Joey’s first time visiting Monterey so we had the opportunity to explore<br />
the city for the first time together, which was quite a fun experience.<br />
Page 32 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!
The first thing we did<br />
upon arrival was check in<br />
to our hotel, the beautiful<br />
Monterey Plaza Hotel &<br />
Spa, located right on the<br />
water in the Cannery Row<br />
district of Monterey. The<br />
district got its name for<br />
being home to dozens<br />
of sardine canneries and<br />
was also the setting of<br />
John Steinbeck’s novels<br />
“Cannery Row” and “Sweet<br />
Thursday.” Steinbeck was<br />
born in nearby Salinas<br />
and his father served as<br />
Monterey County treasurer.<br />
The area is adorned with<br />
tributes to Steinbeck with<br />
statues erected in his honor<br />
and buildings bearing his<br />
name.<br />
If you have a chance to<br />
visit Monterey Plaza, ask<br />
for the owner’s suite which<br />
comes complete with a<br />
baby grand piano, dining<br />
table for eight guests, two<br />
full bathrooms and three<br />
wrap-around porches, not<br />
to mention unobstructed<br />
views of Monterey Bay. We<br />
didn’t even need an alarm,<br />
as each morning we were<br />
awoken by the barks of the<br />
sea lions that gather along<br />
the coastline.<br />
Monterey is home to<br />
a ton of sea life. We had<br />
the opportunity to take<br />
a guided kayak tour of<br />
Monterey Bay given by a<br />
company called Adventures<br />
by the Sea. During our onehour<br />
excursion, we passed<br />
dozens of seals, otters,<br />
sea lions and other marine<br />
animals.<br />
At the time of my visit,<br />
California had strict<br />
COVID-19 restrictions,<br />
so masks were required<br />
everywhere, and<br />
restaurants were only<br />
allowed to offer outdoor<br />
dining, but because many<br />
have great views of the<br />
water, I didn’t mind dining<br />
al fresco. Monterey has a<br />
cute downtown with many<br />
locally-owned shops and<br />
restaurants. If you’re in<br />
the mood for a pre-dinner<br />
drink, swing by Montrio<br />
Bistro for one of their<br />
signature cocktails.<br />
Schooners Coastal<br />
Kitchen & Bar is located in<br />
the Monterey Plaza Hotel<br />
and offers a wonderful<br />
selection of fish entrees.<br />
Joey and I began our<br />
meal with the Fresh Catch<br />
which consisted of Morro<br />
Bay pacific gold oysters,<br />
black tiger prawns and<br />
octopus ceviche. I fell in<br />
love with the prawns and<br />
the homemade cocktail<br />
sauce. While Joey decided<br />
to go with a panini as his<br />
main course, I stuck with<br />
fish. One of my favorite<br />
dishes is Cioppino. I first<br />
had the dish during a visit<br />
to San Francisco many<br />
years ago and order it<br />
every time I can find a<br />
restaurant that offers<br />
it. Each establishment<br />
has its own twist on this<br />
entrée. Schooners version<br />
of Cioppino contained<br />
shrimp, clams, mussels,<br />
calamari, and seasonal fish<br />
all in a delicious saffron-<br />
Dungeness crab broth.<br />
Walking along Cannery<br />
Row is like taking a walk<br />
through history. Many<br />
of the old buildings still<br />
exist, although they are<br />
repurposed into hotels and<br />
retail establishments. Soap<br />
Confections makes handcrafted<br />
soaps available in<br />
a variety of shapes and<br />
scents, while Global Candle<br />
CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 33
Gallery creates one-of-akind<br />
custom candles right<br />
in front of your eyes.<br />
Along the way, we<br />
stopped at Coniglio<br />
Brothers Italian Deli for<br />
a delicious charcuterie<br />
platter. One thing is for<br />
sure, they do not skimp on<br />
the meat and cheese. There<br />
was so much prosciutto we<br />
had some to bring back to<br />
our hotel for an afternoon<br />
snack. That being said,<br />
we needed a nice bottle<br />
of wine to pair with our<br />
leftovers, so we stopped<br />
by A Taste of Monterey,<br />
a wine market and bistro<br />
which offers an extensive<br />
collection of local wines<br />
from Monterey County<br />
winemakers.<br />
Because many of<br />
the indoor attractions,<br />
such as the Monterey<br />
Bay Aquarium were still<br />
closed due to COVID-19<br />
restrictions, we had a lot<br />
of free time to walk around<br />
the town and eat…and<br />
boy did we eat. The Fish<br />
Hopper is a family-owned<br />
restaurant founded in 1950,<br />
which offers stunning views<br />
of the bay and incredible<br />
cocktails. Since I was on<br />
vacation, I went for the<br />
Toasted Coconut Colada,<br />
made with Skyy Pineapple<br />
vodka, pineapple juice, a<br />
splash of Amaretto and a<br />
house special piña colada<br />
mix. It was the perfect way<br />
to enjoy lunch with great<br />
company.<br />
To cap off our culinary<br />
journey of Monterey, we<br />
visited The Sardine Factory.<br />
Don’t let the name fool you.<br />
The establishment is one of<br />
the most incredible finedining<br />
experiences I’ve ever<br />
had — all underneath a tent.<br />
Although customers aren’t<br />
allowed inside the building<br />
(except for restroom use),<br />
we got a private tour of the<br />
“<br />
BECAUSE MANY<br />
OF THE INDOOR<br />
ATTRACTIONS, SUCH<br />
AS THE MONTEREY<br />
BAY AQUARIUM,<br />
ARE STILL CLOSED<br />
DUE TO COVID-19<br />
RESTRICTIONS,<br />
WE HAD A LOT OF<br />
FREE TIME TO WALK<br />
AROUND THE TOWN<br />
AND EAT... AND BOY<br />
DID WE EAT.<br />
property, which includes<br />
an elaborate wine cellar fit<br />
for a king, complete with<br />
a custom wooden table<br />
large enough to seat 24<br />
guests. The Sardine Factory<br />
is known for its extensive<br />
wine list, one of the finest<br />
in the world, complete<br />
with over 2,000 labels<br />
and 20,000 bottles. The<br />
restaurant offers private<br />
Page 34 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!
wine lockers for their<br />
frequent patrons. I won’t<br />
disclose all the celebrities<br />
whose names adorn the<br />
lockers, but I’ll say one<br />
goes by the nickname “The<br />
Governator”.<br />
I was already in heaven<br />
and dinner had not even<br />
begun. We had the great<br />
pleasure of meeting two<br />
of the owners, one being<br />
the head chef. I told him<br />
to bring us whatever<br />
he wanted. The rest of<br />
my party seemed a bit<br />
perplexed by this, but<br />
having written many dining<br />
reviews in my career, I<br />
found this request to be<br />
not only fun for me, but<br />
also exciting for the chefs<br />
as they get to prepare their<br />
favorite dishes – some of<br />
which I probably would not<br />
have ordered on my own.<br />
We began with their<br />
famous Abalone Bisque, a<br />
smooth bisque prepared<br />
with bacon, chives,<br />
and Madeira wine. This<br />
specialty was served<br />
at President Reagan’s<br />
Inauguration. Talk about<br />
historic. The bisque was<br />
followed by one of the<br />
day’s specials, a panseared<br />
sea scallop over<br />
foie gras. I’ll admit, I’m<br />
not a big fan of foie gras,<br />
but I do love scallops.<br />
They paired perfectly<br />
together. Next came one<br />
of the chef’s favorite<br />
dishes, Linguini Carbonara,<br />
homemade pasta prepared<br />
with Parmesan & Romano<br />
cheeses, egg, scallions,<br />
chives, pancetta, and black<br />
pepper. Growing up in New<br />
York, I had this dish many<br />
times, but this was the<br />
best I’ve ever had…and my<br />
favorite dish of the entire<br />
trip.<br />
Chef Cutino decided<br />
we’d not tried enough of<br />
his dishes, so he brought<br />
us his version of surf and<br />
turf which in this case was<br />
veal and lobster. To end<br />
the evening, he brought<br />
us delectable Chocolate<br />
Dipped Bonbons served<br />
over dry ice – which made<br />
for great Instagram photos<br />
and videos, in addition to<br />
his homemade Chocolate<br />
Kahlua Cinnamon gelato,<br />
and “The Factory” spumoni.<br />
I’m still dieting!<br />
It was the perfect way to<br />
end a much-needed vacation<br />
by the sea. Being by the<br />
water always relaxes me and<br />
of course, being surrounded<br />
by great people and great<br />
food never hurts either.<br />
Joey Amato is the founder and<br />
publisher of Pride Journeys,<br />
an LGBTQ travel website and a<br />
syndicated column. For more<br />
LGBTQ travel ideas, please visit<br />
www.pridejourneys.com.<br />
CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 35
food+drink<br />
HOLIDAY<br />
TREATS<br />
’Tis the season for parties, friend and family gatherings, and it’s always<br />
good to have a go-to list of treats and drinks to serve or share.<br />
Here’s a roundup of must-haves that we love.<br />
HOT BUTTERED RUM<br />
A holiday favorite is spiced rum. Epicurious has a tasty<br />
version to try.<br />
Ingredients<br />
2 cups water<br />
1/2 stick (1/4 cup) unsalted butter<br />
1/4 cup packed dark brown sugar<br />
1 teaspoon cinnamon<br />
1/2 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg<br />
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves<br />
1/8 teaspoon salt<br />
2/3 cup dark rum<br />
Directions<br />
1. Bring water, butter, brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg,<br />
cloves, and salt to a boil in a 1 1/2- to 2-quart saucepan over<br />
moderately high heat.<br />
2. Reduce heat and simmer, whisking occasionally, 10 minutes.<br />
3. Remove from heat and stir in rum.<br />
4. Serve hot.<br />
APPLE CRANBERRY SPRITZER<br />
For a non-alcoholic alternative, Town and Country<br />
suggests this mocktail from the Jekyll Island Club Resort.<br />
Ingredients<br />
Apple juice<br />
Cranberry juice<br />
Sprite<br />
Cranberries<br />
Rosemary<br />
Directions<br />
1. In a glass mix equal parts apple juice and<br />
cranberry juice.<br />
2. Add a dash of Sprite.<br />
3. Garnish with cranberries and a sprig of rosemary.<br />
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EGGNOG<br />
Eggnog is a holiday classic and we like this<br />
version from Alton Brown.<br />
Ingredients<br />
4 egg yolks<br />
1/3 cup sugar, plus 1 tablespoon<br />
1 pint whole milk<br />
1 cup heavy cream<br />
3 ounces bourbon<br />
1 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg<br />
4 egg whites*<br />
Directions<br />
1. In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the<br />
egg yolks until they lighten in color.<br />
Gradually add the 1/3 cup sugar and<br />
continue to beat until it is completely<br />
dissolved. Add the milk, cream, bourbon<br />
and nutmeg and stir to combine.<br />
2. Place the egg whites in the bowl of a<br />
stand mixer and beat to soft peaks. With<br />
the mixer still running gradually add the<br />
1 tablespoon of sugar and beat until stiff<br />
peaks form.<br />
3. Whisk the egg whites into the mixture.<br />
Chill and serve.<br />
4. Cook’s Note: For cooked eggnog, follow<br />
procedure below.<br />
5. In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the<br />
egg yolks until they lighten in color.<br />
Gradually add the 1/3 cup sugar and<br />
continue to beat until it is completely<br />
dissolved. Set aside.<br />
6. In a medium saucepan, over high heat,<br />
combine the milk, heavy cream and<br />
nutmeg and bring just to a boil, stirring<br />
occasionally. Remove from the heat and<br />
gradually temper the hot mixture into<br />
the egg and sugar mixture. Then return<br />
everything to the pot and cook until the<br />
mixture reaches 160 degrees F. Remove<br />
from the heat, stir in the bourbon, pour<br />
into a medium mixing bowl, and set in<br />
the refrigerator to chill.<br />
7. In a medium mixing bowl, beat the egg<br />
whites to soft peaks. With the mixer<br />
running gradually add the 1 tablespoon<br />
of sugar and beat until stiff peaks form.<br />
Whisk the egg whites into the chilled<br />
mixture.<br />
*Consumption of raw or undercooked eggs,<br />
shellfish and meat may increase the risk of<br />
foodborne illness.<br />
CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 37
CHRISTMAS COOKIE CHEESECAKE<br />
To satisfy your sweet tooth, try out this yummy dessert from the Food Network. No matter<br />
how the decorating goes this is sure to be a crowd-pleaser!<br />
Ingredients<br />
One 16.5-ounce tube store-bought sugar cookie dough<br />
Four 8-ounce packages of cream cheese, at room temperature<br />
2 cups granulated sugar<br />
1 cup sour cream<br />
2 tablespoons vanilla extract<br />
4 large eggs, at room temperature<br />
Red and green sprinkles, for decorating<br />
One 1-pound box confectioners’ sugar (about 4 cups)<br />
2 tablespoons meringue powder<br />
Red and green gel food coloring<br />
*Special equipment: two pastry bags fitted with small round tips<br />
Directions<br />
1. Position an oven rack in the middle of the oven and preheat to 350 degrees F. Press the<br />
cookie dough into the bottom of a 9-inch springform pan (use the bottom of a measuring<br />
cup to help spread it out and make it even). Bake until the cookie is set and golden brown,<br />
12 to 15 minutes. Let cool completely, about 30 minutes. Wrap the bottom and sides<br />
of the pan with a large piece of foil and put it in a large roasting pan. Reduce the oven<br />
temperature to 325 degrees F.<br />
2. Beat the cream cheese and granulated sugar together in a large bowl with an electric<br />
mixer on medium speed for 1 minute. Add the sour cream and vanilla and beat until just<br />
combined. Mix in the eggs by hand, one at a time, until just combined. (Take care not to<br />
overmix or the cheesecake will puff up and crack). Pour the batter into the springform<br />
pan. Add enough hot water to the roasting pan to come about halfway up the side of the<br />
springform pan.<br />
3. Bake until the outside of the cake is set but the center is still slightly loose, about 1 hour<br />
and 20 minutes. Turn the oven off and leave the cheesecake in the oven for another hour.<br />
Remove the cheesecake from the roasting pan to a cooling rack. Run a knife around the<br />
edge and cool to room temperature. Cover and refrigerate at least 8 hours.<br />
4. Run a knife around the edge of the pan once more and unlock to unmold the cheesecake.<br />
Transfer to a serving platter or cake stand and smooth the edges with a knife. Pat the<br />
Jimmie sprinkles into the sides of the cheesecake making sure not to cover the crust or<br />
get any on top.<br />
5. Whisk together the confectioners’ sugar and meringue powder in a large bowl. Add<br />
5 tablespoons water and beat with an electric mixer on medium-high speed until soft<br />
glossy peaks form, adding up to 1 more tablespoon water if necessary.<br />
6. Transfer about 1/2 cup of the royal icing to a pastry bag fitted with a small round tip. Thin<br />
the remaining icing with 1 teaspoon of water at a time until it is the consistency of syrup<br />
(you know you have reached the right consistency if you drizzle a bit of the icing and<br />
it sinks back into the icing within 8 to 10 seconds). Transfer 1 cup of the thinned icing in<br />
another pastry bag fitted with a small round tip. Divide the remaining batter between two<br />
small bowl and color one red and one green with the red and green gel food coloring.<br />
7. Use the thick white icing to pipe a large scalloped circle around the cake leaving a 3/4-<br />
inch border. Use the thinned white icing to fill the center of the scalloped circle. Use an<br />
offset spatula to spread the icing out so that it is smooth. <strong>Dec</strong>orate with the colored icing<br />
while the white icing is still set. Chill the cake until the icing is set, at least 1 hour.<br />
Page 38 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!
CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 39
health+wellness<br />
Traveling during the pandemic<br />
by Sydney Moxley<br />
Eight months ago, COVID-19 put the world on pause. As the<br />
realization that life as we knew it would change forever, the<br />
priority became staying at home as often as possible; travel<br />
was the last thing on our minds. Since then, there’ve been more<br />
than 220,000 deaths and over seven million cases in the United<br />
States alone, making it seem like air travel is as dangerous as ever.<br />
And if you’re brave enough to take a flight, your trip brings with it a<br />
certain stigma of recklessness, even despite precautions.<br />
I myself have taken four trips via air, as well as a few<br />
small road trips, since March, which may very well<br />
make me seem careless or ignorant of the pandemic<br />
ravaging the world right now. However, let me assure<br />
you that I’ve taken great care in my travels to keep<br />
myself and everyone else safe. With the holidays fast<br />
approaching, you may be wondering if flying could be<br />
possible for you now that regulations are being lifted.<br />
I believe that with the proper safety measures, travel,<br />
specifically air travel, can be possible for many.<br />
As a note of caution, this is a very personal decision<br />
that takes into consideration many factors, including<br />
age, pre existing conditions, duration of flights,<br />
accommodations while traveling, and much more. I<br />
can’t make any recommendations for anyone; I can<br />
only say what I’ve done and experienced. Please<br />
do what you personally feel is best when making<br />
the decision to fly this holiday season to keep you<br />
and your family safe and healthy. If you’re in doubt,<br />
consult with your physician.<br />
Safety at the Airport<br />
Because the pandemic has left many unwilling<br />
to fly, airports have become quite pleasant.<br />
Page 40 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!
Nashville International Airport (BNA), although<br />
still undergoing renovations, has been easy to<br />
navigate while practicing social distancing, and<br />
as a side note, the new Terminal D is very nice<br />
(RIP BNA carpet). At security, you’ll be asked to<br />
uncover your mouth to check against your picture<br />
ID, but that’s the only time you should remove<br />
your mask during the process. Be advised some<br />
dining is still closed, so keep that in mind as you’re<br />
planning meals. The good news is that you may<br />
need less time than normal to get through security<br />
and get to your gate, so plan accordingly.<br />
Many gates are practicing social distancing<br />
by blocking off every other chair. I found most<br />
people respected mask rules, except while eating<br />
and drinking. When boarding, the airlines called<br />
for smaller boarding groups than usual in order<br />
to stagger entrance onto the plane. Some airlines<br />
even board in reverse order in order to reduce<br />
people passing each other in the aisles.<br />
On the Flight<br />
My first few flights during COVID in July were<br />
the best flights of my life because of how empty<br />
they were! On the first flight, there were only 15<br />
people; the second flight had just 23. Since then,<br />
flights have been getting fuller as restrictions are<br />
starting to ease and people are becoming more<br />
comfortable. Some airlines intentionally leave the<br />
middle seat open when booking to keep social<br />
distancing measures while others book the entire<br />
plane.<br />
All airlines I’ve flown have mandated passengers<br />
wear their masks the entire time, except when<br />
eating or drinking. Speaking of which, what’s<br />
become of snack and beverage service, you may<br />
ask? It depends on the airline. Southwest gave out<br />
water and pretzels only; Delta passed out prepackaged<br />
snack bags, which included a bottle of<br />
water, chips, cookies, napkins and hand sanitizer.<br />
Other airlines do not offer any refreshments, but<br />
you can bring your own if you wish. Overall, I<br />
didn’t feel like anyone was taking advantage of<br />
this exception and I myself tried to pull my mask<br />
back up when chewing or between sips of water<br />
to be courteous to others.<br />
At Your Destination<br />
When you’re at your destination, you’ll find that<br />
not much has changed regarding social distancing<br />
and wearing masks. Although you should research<br />
your destination’s specific requirements, there’s<br />
generally not much difference in regulations,<br />
especially in larger cities. However, there are a<br />
few differences you may need to be aware of. For<br />
example, some states, such as Massachusetts,<br />
require either a two-week quarantine OR negative<br />
COVID-19 test results upon entering. Some cities<br />
require mask-wearing outdoors, while others<br />
do not. Some attractions may be open, while<br />
others might be closed. You’ll need to do your<br />
research beforehand in order to make sure<br />
your trip is safe and fun, and that there are no<br />
surprises that could jeopardize your trip.<br />
I think the strangest part of traveling during<br />
COVID is when cities don’t have as strict of<br />
rules as Nashville. For example, I went to a gun<br />
store with my mother in a small town in Texas,<br />
and we were the only ones wearing masks.<br />
This felt alarming to me! My advice in these<br />
situations is, do what you know is right, and<br />
don’t let laxer regulations or other’s disregard<br />
make you question that. Wear a mask, socially<br />
distance, use hand sanitizer and be cognizant<br />
of others, even when others aren’t. If anything,<br />
you should be peer-pressuring others to stay<br />
safe!<br />
If you are traveling to visit family, talk to them<br />
ahead of time about their comfort levels. Do<br />
they want to give hugs or would they rather<br />
give an elbow bump? Will you maintain six<br />
feet of distance the entire time? Will you wear<br />
masks indoors to protect elderly relatives?<br />
There are a lot of considerations to discuss<br />
before your arrival and planning them in<br />
advance will ease discomfort and ensure there<br />
are no awkward situations due to different<br />
expectations of contact.<br />
What to Pack<br />
There are some things I found particularly<br />
helpful when traveling, whether via plane or<br />
car. First, bring extra masks! Although you can<br />
find masks almost anywhere these days, I’d<br />
pack a couple of extras in your luggage in case<br />
you lose one and to swap out when dirty. Also,<br />
I love having hand sanitizer in my bag! I always<br />
feel good when I put it on after touching<br />
door handles or retrieving my luggage from<br />
baggage claim. Another wonderful thing I<br />
discovered were small packs of facial wipes.<br />
Wearing a mask can get hot, especially<br />
when running from one gate to another for a<br />
connection and facial wipes are a nice treat to<br />
have to clean your face and cool you down.<br />
Whether you are traveling by plane, train,<br />
or automobile this holiday season, it’s easier<br />
to stay safe and keep others safe than you<br />
may expect. As stated before, it’s a personal<br />
decision that only you and your family can<br />
make, but it’s a decision that you shouldn’t<br />
feel bad about with the right planning and<br />
precaution. I hope you all have a safe and<br />
enjoyable holiday season and that these tips<br />
can help you as you plan your future travels<br />
during this pandemic.<br />
CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 41
pet focus<br />
®<br />
Page 42 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!
PAWS-ITIVLY<br />
PICTURE PERFECT<br />
Tips and Photo by H.N. James<br />
You can Google “pet photography tips” and get a range of<br />
responses, from authors who assume you have pro-gear to those<br />
who recommend using what you have, including a mobile phone<br />
camera. There are some things I do, though, that you can too — no matter<br />
what kind of camera you’re using or your photographic skill level.<br />
1<br />
Photograph your<br />
pet somewhere that<br />
they are comfortable,<br />
happy and relaxed.<br />
This may be a favorite<br />
outdoor location or<br />
somewhere in your house.<br />
Keep your pet’s personality<br />
in mind and photograph<br />
them doing their favorite<br />
activities. If they’re very<br />
curious, you can set up<br />
an exploration zone with<br />
interesting objects or treats<br />
in them.<br />
2<br />
Be relaxed yourself!<br />
And have patience.<br />
Spend some time<br />
playing with your<br />
pet, petting it, or wait until<br />
they’re just waking up from<br />
a nap and are sleepy.<br />
3<br />
Watch your<br />
background. Look<br />
around the location<br />
where you’re<br />
planning to photograph<br />
your pet and keep it as<br />
simple as possible. Doublecheck<br />
for objects and<br />
clutter in the background<br />
that you might not want<br />
in your photograph.<br />
Get down on their level.<br />
Photograph them at their<br />
eye level, which may require<br />
crouching or even lying<br />
down.<br />
4<br />
Use treats, toys<br />
and noises to get<br />
their attention.<br />
You might want<br />
a helper for this one.<br />
Someone can hold up a<br />
treat beside or behind you<br />
to get the pet’s attention.<br />
5Make sure the eyes<br />
are in focus — just<br />
as you would with<br />
a photograph of a<br />
human. There are several<br />
ways to do this and pets<br />
like to move around! One<br />
way is to get the focus<br />
where you want it, then<br />
grab the pet’s attention<br />
with treats, noises or a<br />
toy. This is another time a<br />
helper is useful.<br />
H is a music and portrait<br />
photographer living and<br />
working near Nashville.<br />
To see her work, visit<br />
punkrockphotography.net<br />
CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 43
arts+entertainment<br />
WHO TO WATCH ON SCREEN<br />
By Romeo San Vicente | photo courtesy KathClick<br />
“Boys In The Band” star<br />
Robin de Jesús goes “Boom”<br />
What we love most in this life is a real<br />
queen, someone whose flashing discoball<br />
personality you can feel from miles away.<br />
And if you watched the recent Netflix<br />
update of “The Boys In The Band,” you<br />
saw “Camp” star Robin de Jesus, then<br />
you witnessed a queenly performance of<br />
extravagant proportions. Rooting for this<br />
three-time Tony nominated actor is one<br />
of our hobbies and we’re thrilled to see<br />
him included in the cast of the upcoming<br />
directorial debut from Lin-Manuel<br />
Miranda, “Tick, Tick… Boom!” Based on<br />
the semi-autobiographical stage musical<br />
from “Rent” creator Jonathan Larson,<br />
the story concerns an aspiring theater<br />
composer approaching 30 and despairing that he<br />
might not realize his dreams (no spoilers intended, but<br />
we’re going to assume it has a happy ending). The cast<br />
for this one is impressive: de Jesús is joined by Andrew<br />
Garfield, Alexandra Shipp, Vanessa Hudgens, Bradley<br />
Whitford and Judith Light. It’s all just getting underway<br />
right now, so maybe by the time it’s ready to hit a big<br />
screen… well, you know.<br />
Kaley Cuoco takes off in “The Flight Attendant”<br />
Like so many experiences with air travel, “The<br />
Flight Attendant” hit some pretty major turbulence.<br />
The new Kaley Cuoco-starring limited series based<br />
on the novel of the same name by Chris Bohjalian<br />
and executive produced by Greg Berlanti (“Love,<br />
Simon”), was in the middle of shooting its first<br />
season for HBO Max when the COVID shutdown<br />
began. Then in late August production resumed on<br />
the remaining episodes for a future air date. The<br />
story involves Cuoco’s flight attendant waking up in<br />
Dubai on a layover, with a hangover and a dead body<br />
lying next to her. Unable to remember the night<br />
before, she begins to think she might be the killer.<br />
We love a murder mystery and we also love it when<br />
a sitcom powerhouse changes up her career with<br />
something unsavory. The supporting cast includes<br />
Rosie Perez, Bebe Neuwirth, our favorite “Girls” girl<br />
Zosia Mamet and the return of T.R. Knight (“Grey’s<br />
Anatomy”). So we’ll be streaming along when this<br />
one finally arrives, later than expected, sometime in<br />
<strong>Nov</strong>ember.<br />
Tessa Thompson finds Jazz Age<br />
romance in “Sylvie’s Love”<br />
Cue up our enthusiasm for “Sylvie’s<br />
Love.” Written and directed by Eugene<br />
Ashe (director of the 2012 indie feature<br />
“Homecoming”), it stars queer fave<br />
Tessa Thompson and former NFL<br />
All-Pro player-turned-actor Nnamdi<br />
Asomugha as lovers in 1957 New York.<br />
She dreams of working in TV and<br />
he’s a struggling jazz saxophonist.<br />
When circumstances separate them<br />
and pull them in different directions,<br />
they become mutual “One(s) That Got<br />
Away.” Fast forward many years later<br />
to a reunion and one more chance<br />
for romance. The film co-stars Eva<br />
Longoria, Wendi McLendon-Covey<br />
(“The Goldbergs”), Aja Naomi King (“How To Get Away<br />
with Murder”), and Jemima Kirke (“Girls”). Amazon<br />
drops this one on Christmas Day, and with the period<br />
setting and the promise of that kind of only-in-themovies<br />
romance, it sounds like the perfect gift.<br />
Meet Sam Jay, Late Night Host<br />
It’s very possible you aren’t aware of Sam Jay. The<br />
Black lesbian stand-up comic has appeared on Netflix’s<br />
“The Comedy Lineup” and starred in her own Comedy<br />
Central special, before getting her own Netflix standup<br />
special in <strong>2020</strong>, “Sam Jay: 3 in the Morning.” But in<br />
a world of too many TV choices, you might still have<br />
missed her. It’s more likely that you know her work as a<br />
writer on “Saturday Night Live” as the co-creator of the<br />
recurring sketch, “Black Jeopardy.” Well, you’ll soon<br />
be able to see her work on HBO as the host of an asyet-untitled<br />
late night series – one executive produced<br />
by “Insecure” showrunner Prentice Penny – where<br />
she’ll dissect culture and politics from her unique<br />
perspective. Currently, Peacock is streaming another<br />
late night format show hosted by a Black woman, “The<br />
Amber Ruffin Show,” which means all we need now<br />
is for another platform to do the same thing for this<br />
to become the trend it always should have been. For<br />
now at least it’s a welcome future disruption in the late<br />
night world of seemingly endless white dudes. Jay’s<br />
HBO bow takes place sometime in 2021.<br />
Romeo San Vicente, author of the bi-weekly column “Deep<br />
Inside Hollywood,” demands lesbian domination in all areas of<br />
entertainment.<br />
Page 44 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!
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