2020 Issue 6 Nov/Dec - Focus Mid-Tenn Magazine

FREE 

® 

Serving the Middle Tennessee LGBT + 

Community+its Allies | NOV+DEC 2020 

CHRISTOPHER 

LESTER 

ON THE FUTURE OF 

CLIFTON+LEOPOLD 

OLIVIA HILL 

SHARES HER STORY 

SHELDON DIGGS 

MAC HUFFINGTON 

DR. ROBYN 

HENDERSON- 

ESPINOZA 

& MORE 

FROM OUR 

LIST

publisher’s message 

A Special 

Message From 

Our Publisher 

Cheers! Here’s to a wonderful holiday season! I’m 

ready for a New Year for sure. Aren’t you? What will 

2021 bring? I believe we will be getting back to normal 

or a new normal rather, but we need to take it one step 

at a time. However, make sure you’re wearing your 

mask, washing your hands, social distancing as much as 

possible and avoiding gatherings until we have a vaccine. 

Taking care of yourself 

mentally and physically is 

the best thing you can do for 

yourself in the New Year. 

This issue is meant for 

celebration. We celebrate 

people like Ernie Ratliff and 

his husband George Fenner 

for their adoptions of six 

young people needing love 

and a home. 

We celebrate Brianna Fearing for her courage to begin 

a support group for LGBT+ youth in rural Maury and 

Marshall Counties. 

And in our feature, we celebrate several honorees from 

our 40 Over 40 of Middle Tennessee. While we couldn’t 

place them all in the issue, you will be able to find a 

complete listing on our website. 

We chose to do a 40 Over 40 issue because you indeed 

see so many other celebrations for younger people. That’s 

great! We celebrate them too! But, just because you’re 

over 40 doesn’t mean life stops as you will see when you 

read about all the greatness from these 40 people. 

No matter your age, I hope this issue brings comfort 

and inspiration to you. Never give up on your dreams. 

Always know that you are enough. 

Stay Focused! 

Ways you can support us 

As we continue to practice social distancing, we’re adding to our digital 

footprint. We’ve been sharing more content on our website, social media, 

and through our newsletter. We’re committed to educating, informing, and 

featuring folks in our community. Our focus is on our readers and how we 

serve our community now and in the future. 

We love you, Middle Tennessee! Without your continued support, we 

wouldn’t be here. This is why we have a simple ask of you. Support us 

now, more than ever. But how do you support us? Well, we have lots of 

ways and most of them do not cost you a single cent. 

Here are ways you can support: 

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to show Middle Tennessee and 

everyone else what we’re made 

of. Email editor@focusmidtenn. 

com. 

• Buy a tee from Rocketshirts! 

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Thanks for being a friend of Focus. We’re proud to be the 

premier source of LGBT+ stories in Middle Tennessee. With 

your support, we will get through this crisis together, and 

stronger than ever. 

CHEERS! / NOV+DEC 2020 / focusmidtenn.com / Page 3

® 

PUBLISHER 

Ray Rico 

ASSOCIATE 

PUBLISHER 

Selena Haynes 

MANAGING EDITOR 

& DIGITAL MEDIA 

Lauren Means 

ADVERTISING 

Selena Haynes 

David Wyley Long 

DISTRIBUTION & 

SUBSCRIPTIONS 

Selena Haynes 

Lauren Means 

Randall Sloan 

Melissa Bean 

DESIGNERS 

Brian Goins 

Daphne Butler 

Joey Amato 

Sarah Rutledge Fischer 

Selena Haynes 

contributors 

H.N. James 

Lauren Means 

Sydney Moxley 

Romeo San Vicente 

Joe Woolley 

Focus ® Middle Tennessee is all about LGBT+ people and their allies…their work, play, families, creativity, style, 

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Page 4 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC 2020 / CHEERS!

NOV+DEC 2020 

CONTENTS 

6 MUSIC 

Songs to add to your holiday 

queer playlist 

12 32 

7 THEME: CHEERS! 

8 DEAR ALLIE 

Being socially distant doesn’t 

have to feel lonely 

10 CHAMBER CHAT 

12 LIFE 

Christopher Lester talks the 

future of Clifton+Leopold 

16 COVER 

Highlights from our 40 Over 40 

list of people to know in 2020 

22 TRANSFOCUS 

Olivia Hill shares her story 

24 LIFE 

One family’s story of adoption 

and love 

26 YOUTH 

Brianna Fearing leads the 

charge for LGBT+ youth 

22 

28 FAITH & SPIRITUALITY 

Pastor Dawn Bennett leaves 

space at the Table for LGBT+ 

spirituality 

30 COMMUNITY 

Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence 

shares its mission 

42 

28 

32 TRAVEL 

Joey Amato visits 

Monterey, California 

36 FOOD+DRINK 

Holiday drinks to serve 

40 HEALTH+WELLNESS 

Safety tips for traveling 

during the pandemic 

42 PET FOCUS 

Pet photography tips 

44 ARTS+ENTERTAINMENT 

Interesting LGBT+ shows 

45 DIRECTORY OF SERVICES 


music 

ADD SOME QUEER 

TO YOUR HOLIDAY CHEER 

If you are looking to add some cheer to your holiday playlist, check out 

these holiday songs by some of our favorite artists! 

“MAKE IT JINGLE” 

BIG FREEDIA 

“MARY, DID YOU KNOW?” 

PENTATONIX 

“HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY 

LITTLE CHRISTMAS” 

SAM SMITH 

“ALL I WANT FOR 

CHRISTMAS IS YOU” 

MARIAH CAREY 

“HEY SIS, IT’S CHRISTMAS” 

RUPAUL 

(FEAT. MARKAHOLIC) 


theme 

Cheers 

“Accept no one’s definition of 

your life; define yourself.” 

—HARVEY FIERSTEIN 


life 

DEAR 

WINK 

Dear Allie, 

I’ve been a good boy and have been 

home safe and solo during quarantine. 

Let me tell you, it has gotten boring 

and lonely. I miss hanging out with my 

friends, flirting, even going on dates. 

Aside from video chats and phone calls, 

it is hard for a gay guy to date in the life 

of the ‘Rona. I don’t really like the apps 

and find myself going down endless 

chats and no-gos. Got any tips? 

Yours, 

Missing a Wink from a Stranger 

Dear WINK, 

You may be alone, but you are 

certainly not alone in this struggle. 

The social isolation that has been a 

necessary response to Ms. ‘Rona has 

been especially hard on people who live 

alone. So, let’s explore some of what 

you are probably missing from those 

fun, flirty nights and see if we can keep 

you going until Ms. ‘Rona is long gone. 

COVID-19 

BEING ALONE 

DOESN’T HAVE 

TO FEEL LONELY 

by Sarah Rutledge Fischer 

One of the things you are probably missing more 

than you realize is conversation with strangers. As a 

culture, we tend to discount casual interactions with 

strangers, deeming them awkward, but studies show 

that short interactions with strangers leave people 

feeling happier and more connected. You may be 

spending more time at home these days, but when 

you do go out, put away your phone and talk with the 

people around you. Even if it feels awkward, it might 

also leave you feeling less isolated for the rest of the 

day. 

And speaking of connections with strangers, 

spontaneity is probably something you are missing 

in your dating life these days. Online dating has 

advantages, but browsing a profile lacks the 

mystery and excitement of meeting the eye of an 

attractive stranger across the bar. One 

entertaining, if unpredictable, way to satisfy the 

need for an occasional sexy flirtation is to use one 

of the global video chat services like Omeagle or 

Chatroulette. Both of these services have a welldeserved 

reputation for unsolicited sexual content 

(Allie encountered three, ahem, eggplants before 

enjoying a flirty conversation with a very 

attractive and fully clothed Frenchman.), so user 

beware. 

Page 8 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC SEP+OCT 2020 / WAG CHEERS!

Once you’ve had your fill of random video 

contacts, you might want to return to your online 

dating options to seek real connection. When 

you’re online dating, the endless chats can all start 

to feel the same. So instead of staying on the 

surface, try going deep. Once you’ve decided that 

you might click with someone, instead of the usual 

questions and awkward flirtations, propose asking 

each other the famous 36 questions set forth by 

psychologist Arthur Aron (https://nyti. 

ms/30Nhkim). Designed to be answered in order 

by two people sitting face to face, the questions 

begin light and build in intensity, with the goal of 

encouraging vulnerability and building intimacy. It 

might go nowhere, but it will certainly be more 

interesting than the usual dating app chat. 

Now, the last topic is a bit touchy. Okay, very 

touchy. Okay, it’s touch—physical touch. Gentle 

physical touch does a ton of good for our bodies 

and minds—from lowering the effects of stress to 

triggering the release of oxytocin and cortisol. 

Touch deprivation, which can result from long 

periods of not being touched, can result in 

increased feelings of anxiety and depression, 

difficulty sleeping, and heightened stress. 

But what can you do when touching someone 

who isn’t already a part of your immediate circle is 

dangerous? You give yourself the sensations of 

touch that your body needs. For sexual touch, this 

means that when you masturbate, rather than 

falling into your regular routine, slow down and 

pay attention to the sensations of your skin. 

Outside of sexual touch, even taking time to 

mindfully rub a gentle hand across your own arm 

or down your own neck can trigger the 

physiological benefits of touch. (According to a 

2017 study, the ideal touching speed is between 3 

and 5 centimeters per second.) Mindfulness of 

touch sensations can also help--pay attention to 

the feeling of your foot against the ground or the 

coolness of water as it flows down your throat. 

Embrace other tactile comforts such as a taking a 

hot bath, using a weighted blanket, or snuggling 

with a pet. 

None of this is a substitute for the joy of 

spending time out in the world with beloved 

friends and attractive strangers. But for now, it just 

might get you through until Ms. ‘Rona is gone. At 

the very least, it should get you started. 

Your friend, 

Allie 

To submit your own question, email Allie at 

Allie@focusmidsouth.com. Focus Mid-South reserves 

the right to edit letters for length and clarity. 

Feeling Excluded? 

Find a place 

with 

us 

OPEN TABLE 

CHRISTIAN CHURCH 

DISCIPLES OF CHRIST 

FB LIVE SERVICES EVERY SUNDAY AT 5:00 PM 

1130 HALEY RD. | MURFREESBORO, TN 37129 

OPENTABLECHRISTIANCHURCH.ORG 

Be 

PrEPared. 

Learn more about 

HIV prevention at 

Planned Parenthood. 

866.711.1717 

PlannedParenthood.org/Tennessee

usiness 

OUR MEMBER BENEFITS WILL HAVE 

YOU SAYING “CHEERS!” 

The Nashville LGBT 

Chamber continues 

advocating, educating, and 

connecting for our members, 

the LGBT+ community and 

Nashville as a whole in the 

uncertain business climate 

created by COVID-19. We 

know every business and 

person, from our corporate 

members down to our 

small businesses and gigworkers, 

to our networking 

members and followers, all 

have been affected and are 

hurting more and more as 

the pandemic wears on. We 

want you to know we’re here 

for YOU. 

Our membership and 

programming remains open 

to everyone during these 

times. Please join us at any 

of our events and sign up to 

get the information we can 

connect you to. Take a look 

at some of the things we’ve 

been working on below. 

Thanks to Focus for 

letting us highlight 

our work and our 

members! 

Be a Member 

and 

Find our 

Members 

We’ve proudly 

added several new 

businesses and individuals 

to our membership, even 

during the pandemic. 

A great way to support 

the LGBT+ community 

during a difficult time is to 

frequent chamber member 

businesses. A full list of 

members and certified 

LGBT-owned businesses 

can be found on our website 

directory. Also, look for 

by Joe Woolley | photo courtesy of Nashville LGBT Chamber of Commerce 

our OPEN and EQUAL 

membership sticker on 

windows and next to cash 

registers when you’re out 

shopping. 

In honor of the theme for 

this month’s issue, we’re 

celebrating our members 

who make you want to say 

“CHEERS”! 

• Diskin Cider - Nashville’s 

first and only craft cidery. 

We’re proud to partner 

with Diskin throughout the 

year at drag brunches and 

special release events for 

ciders like Daydream that 

benefit the chamber. 

• B&B Beverage 

Management 

- Food & 

beverage 

management 

company 

comprised 

of hospitality 

solutions for 

weddings, tailgates, 

festivals and sporting 

events. B&B did a live 

cocktail demonstration at 

our August PM Brewing 

Up Business! 

• Tito’s Vodka and Jeptha 

Creed Distillery - These 

businesses sponsor several 

events each year including 

TASTE Nashville and Pride 

in Local Music! 

• Restaurants and Bars - 

Share a toast with any of 

these excellent members! 

If your business fits this 

category and you’re not 

listed, please consider 

joining our chamber 

and taking advantage of 

membership perks. We 

want to help you promote 

and grow your business! 

If you’re interested in 

joining the chamber, 

visit our website at 

nashvilleLGBTchamber. 

org to learn more about 

membership levels and 

benefits. 

Stopping the spread 

and keeping the virus 

numbers down 

New cases are rising 

and we need to stop this 

surge so we can protect 

our economy. Please 

remember: Masks. Stay 

apart. Wash hands. And – 

get a flu shot. Thank you for 

being part of the solution. 

We will beat this virus. 

NashvilleHealth and 

community partners, 

including the chamber, 

launched #MaskForNash 

or #ÚselaPorNash, a 

community-wide effort 

to encourage citizens to 

care for our hometown by 

wearing a mask or cloth face 

covering when in public. 

We’re also a partner in 

MORE INFO 

To learn more about 

Joe Woolley and the 

Nashville LGBT Chamber 

of Commerce, please visit 

nashvillelgbtchamber.org. 

the #MaskNowPartyLater 

campaign, a collective of 

event creators, vendors, 

teams, venues, athletes 

and artists who are rallying 

together to create change. 

Help us have concerts and 

more again in Music City as 

soon as possible by wearing 

your mask and following 

CDC guidelines! 

The chamber is a 

proud participant in and 

encourages members to 

be part of the Good to 

Go Program, a hospitality 

safety program created by 

the Nashville Convention 

& Visitors Corp to help 

businesses in every industry 

implement health and safety 

guidelines. 

Website Resources to 

COVID-19 

We’re pleased to announce 

our new and improved 

website and member 

portal! These upgrades 

will help members and the 

community find information 

and communicate with each 

other. If you haven’t visited 

our website in a while, check 

out the new features! 

We created a COVID-19 

resources page that shares 

news and information our 

members need to know. The 

page includes: 

A webinar section is there 

to connect our members 

to the countless webinars 

our community partners are 

putting out. 


Stay informed with news 

releases and information 

keeping you updated 

on news related to the 

coronavirus and the 

response to it. 

Directories were created 

that highlights members 

that offer takeout, or 

members that have 

changed their business to 

offer their product in a new 

way. 

Our Hot Deals section 

is full with specials to 

other members and the 

community on a number 

of items. Check 

them out and 

support our 

members that 

are open and 

equal! This 

information can 

be found on 

our social media as well (@ 

nashlgbtcc). 

The Rainbow Connection 

We’re excited to expand 

our virtual programming with 

the Rainbow Connection. 

Each month we offer two 

networking events, a member 

highlight session and an 

educational opportunity. This 

series helps our members 

and community stay 

connected and informed 

while we navigate the “new 

normal.” 

Network Connect is 

just that, our networking 

events for you to connect 

to others for business 

or personal needs. To 

complement our traditional 

PM Brewing Up Business, 

we now offer additional 

morning networking 

opportunities, AM Brewing 

Up Business. These events 

include a short program of 

announcements from our 

chamber’s staff and then 

small group networking. 

Member Connect gives 

an in-depth highlight 

of one of our corporate 

members and one of our 

small business members. 

There is a Q&A session 

and members have the 

opportunity to talk about 

what they’re working 

on, questions or issues 

they need help with or 

anything else they want 

to address. 

Classroom Connect is 

designed to help LGBT+ 

and allied business 

owners expand their 

entrepreneurial skill set 

with educational webinars 

that connect participants 

to trusted experts. The 

Classroom Connect Series 

is made possible thanks 

to HCA Healthcare/ 

TriStar Health, who joined 

as the title sponsor of 

the Classroom Connect 

Series. Click here for our 

2020/2021 schedule. 

Our virtual programs will 

continue even after the 

crisis subsides, in addition 

to resuming in-person 

events, such as advocating 

against discrimination at 

the state capitol, rainbow 

ribbon-cuttings and events. 

We can’t wait to see people 

in person! If you need 

assistance or are interested 

in learning more about 

what we do, we’d love to 

hear from you. Visit our 

website for more details on 

these programs. 

TeNNessee 

PhoToGraphs 

PORTRAITS 

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 

EVENTS 

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 

LIFESTYLE 

615.267.8948 

tennesseephotographs.com 

@tennesseephotographs 

@tnphotographs 

Equity has been our focus 

from the tornado recovery to the COVID-19 

response, access to assistance and support 

does not look the same for all businesses and 

communities. We are dedicated to an inclusive 

and equitable Nashville, where the 

marginalized have an advocate and support. 

Our membership is open to all and we are 

here for you. Join us today. 

We represent over 500+ Corporations, Entrepreneurs, & 

Small Businesses who want to keep Nashville OPEN & EQUAL. 

advocate. educate. connect. 


life 

LIVING HIS 

BEST LIFE 


Christopher Lester talks past, present 

and future of Clifton+Leopold 

by Lauren Means | photo by Tennessee Photographs 

No one could have expected 2020 to turn out the way it has. 

If we had a crystal ball to see the future, no business would 

have planned to launch this year. No one knows this better 

than Christopher Lester. A vision that started to come to fruition in 

October 2018 had a launch date of May 2020. A brand focused on 

dressing up to go out now had to deal with a quarantine culture. 

Christopher lets us in on how his brand came to be and gives 

advice for anyone looking to take a leap of faith on their own ideas. 

Tell us a little about 

yourself so our readers 

can get to know you. 

My name is Christopher 

Lester and while not a 

Nashville native, I’ve called 

the city home for over 

two decades. I’ve spent 

the better part of the 

last decade working in 

the digital marketing and 

brand storytelling space 

and currently work with 

companies to help them 

leverage email and social 

media to tell a better story. 

I’ve always been a serial 

entrepreneur and enjoy 

the excitement of taking 

an idea and nurturing 

it into reality. Prior to 

Clifton+Leopold, I had 

the privilege of working 

at Emma Email Marketing 

where I served as the VP 

of Sales. It was here that 

I learned to dream big, 

work hard and lose the 

fear — all tools that have 

aided me in the launch of 

Clifton+Leopold and gave 

me the courage to say out 

loud “I’m going to launch 

an apparel manufacturing 

company in the United 

States during a global 

pandemic” and not feel 

crazy. 

Outside of my daily life, I 

serve on the Nashville LGBT 

Chamber’s board where 

I have the opportunity to 

work alongside some of the 

smartest and most driven 

people I know. I’ve led the 

marketing committee for 

the last five years where 

I had the privilege to 

serve with two amazing 

CEOs, lead a complete 

rebranding and help create 

the 20th-anniversary video 

— a project that I’m deeply 

proud of. 

I am a lover of the arts 

and love living in a city 

that values them. I grew 

up in Cincinnati, Ohio 

and some of my earliest 

memories were of going 

to the theatre, symphony 

and ballet. As we continue 

to deal with the fall out 

of COVID and the toll it is 

taking on these things I 

hold so dear, my goal is to 

find opportunities to plugin 

even more and help these 

irreplaceable institutions 

continue in our great city. 

I am the father of the 

most amazing 16-year-old 

Weimaraner named Olive 

and share a home with 

her in East Nashville. She 

reminds me every day to 

be thankful for waking up, 

to make the most of the 

sunshine on a cool day 

and to not ever feel bad 

for taking a nap when the 

mood hits. 

Why Clifton+Leopold? Is 

there a story behind the 

brand? 

For the “short” 

version we share with 

everyone, you can find 

the Clifton+Leopold origin 

story here, but just for the 

Focus audience, I am happy 

to share a little of a “behind 

the scenes” story. 

When I was early in the 

development process, 

everyone kept asking what I 

wanted to call the company 

— a step that I sort of 

jumped over because 

working through how to 

manufacture apparel in the 

U.S. was a much bigger 

challenge than what to 

name a company. But, the 

name thing was the first 

question on everyone’s 

mind. 

I knew from the start that 

I wanted a “something and 

something” name and I 

really wanted to use classic 

quintessential British names 

if I could make it work. I 

began researching names 

and filling them in on the 

chalkboard wall in my 

dining room. 

Clifton was the first 


name that made sense. 

As I mentioned before, 

I was born and raised in 

Cincinnati, Ohio. More 

importantly, the hospital 

where I was born is in the 

Clifton neighborhood of 

Cincinnati. Clifton was 

literally where I got my 

start. 

Leopold means a “brave 

man or brave one” and if 

I was going to do this it 

would take a fair amount of 

bravery and a good dose of 

vodka every now and then. 

But at the core I do feel like 

a brave man, so Leopold 

really resonated with me. 

Finally, when you take 

their initials, they are the 

same as mine. This was 

something that wasn’t 

obvious until the first time 

I wrote the names together 

but none-the-less an 

impactful moment when I 

did. It felt kismet in nature! 

Here was a way for me to 

infuse myself in the brand 

without being the brand. 

How was the experience 

starting your business 

during a pandemic? 

This is probably the 

question I get the most 

and every time I start my 

response the same way. “It 

makes for one hell of an 

origin story.” It also feels 

totally on-brand for us. One 

of our mission statements 

and a mantra we openly 

share with our community 

is — Live Your Best Life. 

And to live your best life, 

you have to take risks. 

I’m super lucky to have 

so many amazing family 

members, friends and 

colleagues around me. 

Anytime I lack clarity, they 

are quick to loan me their 

strength and help me 

refocus and get back on 

track. The launch was no 

different. 

I actually started working 

on Clifton+Leopold in 

October of 2018. That’s 

when we created the LLC. 

It wasn’t long after that 

I started talking about 

it with a small group of 

friends and family. It is also 

when I finally sat down and 

created a long list of things 

that had to happen to make 

it real. 

I was determined that 

we would make 100% of 

our products here in the 

U.S. That conviction alone 

would take over a year 

to answer. There was so 

much to do and looking 

back I know there were 

times I could have moved 

faster (hello to the five 

weeks I took to decide on 

the perfect shipping box). 

That said, like all things, 

the timing was playing 

out exactly how it was 

supposed to. 

So there we were in 

February 2020 working 

through our final six-week 

launch plan. Then COVID hit. 

My first thought was 

there was no way we could 

launch during COVID. I 

mean, our entire premise is 

about people going out and 

getting dressed up. 

This is why it’s so 

important to surround 

yourself with people who 

aren’t afraid to challenge 

you. And believe me, that is 

what my friends did — in all 

the best ways. 

By the time our official 

launch day came on May 

1, I knew they were right. 

I’d spent a lifetime building 

a network of amazing 

humans who were there to 

support me. And support 

they did. They made 

purchases, shared our 

posts, told their friends and 

showed up. A statement 

Christopher is 

wearing Tie: 

Montgomery, 

Pocket: Hazel, and 

Silk Lapel Pin 

by Clifton+Leopold 

that is as true today as it 

was on that Friday morning. 

Now here we sit finishing 

up month six and I couldn’t 

be more thankful! It has been 

a crazy ride but also the best 

thing I’ve ever done. 

If you could go back 

through the startup 

process, is there anything 

you would do differently? 

This is easy! I would enjoy 

it more. 

Starting a company and 

giving all your energy to 

a new idea is hard. It’s 

daunting. It’s scary. And 

in more ways than anyone 

who has never done it can 

understand — it’s lonely! 

I can’t say that enough... 

it’s lonely! And that makes 

sense, right? So much 

of the process is in your 

head and underbaked or 

unrealized yet so it’s hard 

to share. 


It’s consuming and can 

steal away so much of your 

energy. I remember when 

I first started working on 

Clifton+Leopold I did 100% 

of the work in my dining 

room. Big mistake! There 

was no longer the ability to 

have friends over for dinner. 

There was no way to get up 

in the middle of the night 

to snag a drink of water 

without passing all the 

work hanging on the wall 

that had yet to be finished. 

There was no distinction 

between my personal space 

and this project that was 

quickly consuming me. 

The key to fixing all of this 

turned out to be SHARE 

MORE! It didn’t matter if I 

didn’t have it all figured out 

or know all the answers, 

smart people didn’t need 

that. They were more than 

happy to plug in and help 

me figure it out. It didn’t 

matter if I didn’t know how 

I was going to use that 

incredible fabric I just found 

or that I had spent two 

weeks trying to figure out 

the exact Pantone color 

for the tissue paper in the 

shipping box. My friends 

and supporters were 

thrilled to play a part. 

So I would say to anyone 

who is working on a similar 

project right now, open 

it up to the right people. 

Define that core group of 

people you trust and give 

them all the information 

they need to be helpful and 

then ask for help. For me, 

it was helpful when they 

would just ask “How do I 

help? What do you need? 

Give me the latest update?” 

You don’t have to have 

it all figured out. You 

just have to know what’s 

important for your brand 

and where you want to end 

up. From there the right 

people can help speed you 

LEARN 

MORE 

Visit 

Clifton+Leopold 

online. 

up or even land you in a 

better place. 

What is the future of 

Clifton+Leopold? Will 

we see different types of 

accessories or whole new 

branches of fashion? 

I don’t really know the full 

answer here because it isn’t 

really up to me. I’ve done 

my part and will continue 

to do my part but it is the 

Clifton+Leopold community 

that will help determine 

where we go ultimately. 

Now, we know we’ll 

continue to grow and add 

to our product lines. In 

my mind, Clifton+Leopold 

has always been a lifestyle 

brand and that will always 

shape who we are and 

take us in new product 

line directions. That’s why 

we launched our very own 

candle line last month. 

You’ll continue to see little 

twists like that. We want 

people to say “oh that 

is so Clifton+Leopold.” 

But ultimately we want 

the people who love 

Clifton+Leopold to play a 

role in helping us shape the 

future. And that’s exactly 

what’s been happening. 

Anything else you would 

like to add? 

Nashville is a wonderfully 

odd city. The support 

and willingness to help 

each other in our business 

community is rare. I 

couldn’t imagine launching 

Clifton+Leopold in any 

other city. EVERYONE in 

Nashville is trying to figure 

out how to help each 

other out, especially in the 

LGBTQ community. 

So I would challenge 

anyone thinking of turning 

their passion into a business 

to reach out to as many 

people as possible, buy 

them coffee and then pick 

their brain. 

Join the LGBT Chamber 

of Commerce, it’s an 

incredible resource and 

sponsors some great 

networking opportunities. 

The resources are helpful 

but the people you’ll meet 

are invaluable. 

Get plugged in and then 

spend 30% of your time 

helping out someone else 

on their journey. Rising 

water raises all boats. 


SHELDON DIGGS (HE/HIM) 

Sheldon has been feeding the 

homeless for years. He started out 

in his own kitchen to bring a car full 

of food to the park by the library in 

downtown Nashville. This lead to the 

program called #StreetTeamLegal 

which began in July 2017. This 

has since become Souls United, a 

registered non-profit corporation 

established in September 2017. 

Now, the First Evangelical Lutheran 

Church houses Souls United every 

Wednesday in their Dining Hall, 

complete with a commercial kitchen. 

He helps arrange resources, homes, 

jobs for people when he can, but the 

core of what he does is providing 

amazing food and company to 

people who have gone through so 

much in life. He helps partner with 

other organizations to get people 

showers, haircuts, clothes, blankets, 

and more. He truly fights for the 

homeless and has this uncanny ability 

to recruit people to help him — even 

if they have never done anything for 

charity in their life. 

Sheldon is wearing 

Bow Tie: Bianca by 



OUR 2020 OF PEOPLE TO KNOW: 

40 over 40 

Who says life stops after 40? 

by Lauren Means | photos courtesy Tennessee Photographs 

We, at FMT, had the pleasure of learning about so many people over the past few 

months. Several, we already knew, but certainly still learned quite a bit. While we 

couldn’t place everyone in the magazine, we are creating a web page that will 

showcase all 40 individuals that were nominated and chosen to be recognized as one of 

the top 40 Over 40 people in Middle Tennessee. We’re proud of their accomplishments 

and can only hope that we can achieve a fraction of what they have. 

RUSS ARNOLD (HE/HIM) 

Russ founded Shower The 

People, a nonprofit that provides 

mobile showers and hygiene 

supplies to individuals 

in need. Russ drives 

the bus that has been 

transformed into the 

mobile shower facility 

to different locations 

throughout Nashville 

providing showers 

to those folks living 

on the streets or in 

encampments. Russ 

has poured blood and 

sweat into the bus in 

order to be able to 

provide showers to 

those in need. 

Russ is out late at night, in the 

cold, rain, snow and the heat of 

summer to ensure that the bus 

is at the shower locations when 

promised. When the bus is having 

work completed, Russ drives a 

van to shower locations to pick 

up folks and drives them to a 

local church to shower so that 

our shower guests are still able to 

access the same resources every 

week. Without Russ, hundreds of 

individuals would have gone weeks 

without access to a hot shower, 

clean clothes and hygiene supplies. 

STEPHANIE (STEPH) BALLOU 

(SHE/HER) 

Steph was born and raised 

in Gallatin, Tennessee and 

went to Hendersonville High. 

Steph is a fierce competitor 

with a huge drive. In her early 

years, she swam for Nashville 

Aquatic Club which led to a 

swim scholarship at George 

Washington University where 

she narrowly missed out on the 

Olympic qualifying time. 

Steph works for Alliance 

Bernstein (AB) and has made a 

huge impact in Nashville. Steph 

is the co-chair of the AB Out 

group taking a leadership role in 

integrating AB and Nashville. Her 

biggest task has been bringing 

AB to the forefront in Nashville 

Pride. During the Coronavirus 

she has led many 

‘happy hour’ zoom 

meetings for people 

to connect and just 

simply converse. 

Steph recently 

accepted a 

board role for 

the Nashville 

LGBT Chamber of 

Commerce taking 

an active part in the 

chamber business. 

DAWN BENNETT (SHE/HER) 

It wasn’t her plan to go to 

seminary in her 50s and 

begin life over as an ordained 

pastor. She has lived in Middle 

Tennessee since the mid-’90s 

and has seen all too much harm 

from religion-based trauma, 

especially to LGBTQ+ youth and 

families. It was time to make a 

change and answer the call. 

She says it’s an honor to serve 

and she’s excited to participate 

in changing the face of our 

faith community — “As I serve 

I get to love on lots of folks, do 

what I can to repair the breach 

and build some 

new bridges 

to a happier, 

healthier and 

more affirming 

culture for our 

most vulnerable 

voices.” 

Pastor Dawn 

now runs The 

Table, a faith 

collective that 

promotes spiritual 

well-being for 

LGBTQIA+ and 

minority people groups in 

the exploration of self, faith, 

community and the deeper 

issues of being and belonging. 


JEFF SWAFFORD (HE/HIM) 

In 2019, Jeff founded a nonprofit 

called Nashville Street Project 

which hires homeless people to 

clean up the streets of Nashville. 

Since it started last August, they 

have cleaned up over 8000 pounds 

of trash off the streets — and he is 

out there every week picking up 

trash alongside them because he 

doesn’t ask them to do anything he 

won’t do himself. 

Beyond giving them a job, he also 

makes sure they have what they 

need, especially in cold weather. 

He has given them tents, sleeping 

bags, clothes and food. He also 

takes them out to lunch on a regular 

basis as well as trips to the movies. 

In addition to the Nashville Street 

Project, he co-founded another 

nonprofit with a group of friends 

called Feed The Need Nashville. 

They serve lunch each Wednesday 

to the homeless in downtown 

Nashville at McKendree United 

Methodist Church. They also assist 

in getting IDs, replacement social 

security cards and birth certificates 

that are so important in getting jobs 

and housing. 

He said that he never saw 

himself doing this when he moved 

to Nashville but working with 

homeless people has changed his 

heart and he has truly found what 

he was meant to do. 

NEYDER MCDONALD (HE/HIM) 

Volunteering has been a 

passion of Neyder’s since 

he was 16 years old. His first 

volunteer moment came when 

his hometown of Caracas, 

Venezuela experienced flooding 

that wiped out homes and took 

lives. Neyder was devastated 

seeing people his age displaced 

and empathized with them. It 

was a very humbling experience 

that led to him appreciating 

whatever circumstances he 

was in and learning to navigate 

through his own problems while 

helping others with theirs. 

Prior to living in Nashville, 

Neyder lived in New York 

where he gave his time to 

organizations that helped 

with food drives for people 

infected with HIV/AIDS and 

the homeless. He also helped 

prepare and serve meals to the 

homeless during the holidays. 

Through his employer, he 

helped organize walks to benefit 

HIV/AIDS and childhood cancer 

research. 

Since moving to Nashville 

five years ago, Neyder has 

participated with the UBS Pride 

Employee Resource Group 

(ERG) and then accepted the 

position of chair of the ERG 

when it opened up. As chair, he 

has raised money and had the 

ERG donate time and resources 

to the Oasis Center and the Aids 

Walk. 

Under his leadership, not only 

has membership quadrupled in 

size, so has the participation in 

community outreach initiatives 

at UBS. 

RON SANFORD (HE/HIM) 

Ron is a special event professional 

and business owner. He currently 

owns and operates Ron Sanford 

Productions, LLC. in the heart of 

Nashville. After college, he settled 

in Atlanta. This is where he won 

the title of Mr. Gay World 1986 

and gained ownership of Lipstix 

Showbar. His event career emerged 

when he was hired by Mr. Ted 

Turner to provide catering to events 

which led to Ron working at the 

Atlanta Omni Hotel as a floral guru 

and production specialist. From 

here, his newly minted company, 

Cream of the Crop Productions, 

began catering elite events 

including filming of music videos for 

the likes of Sir Elton John. 

Ron eventually landed back 

in Nashville where he founded 

Flamboyant Designs. Through 

Flamboyant, he produced the 

opening ceremony for the Frist 

Center, the groundbreaking for 

the Country Music Hall of Fame 

and the Tin Pan South Music 

Festival. After the Supreme Court 

ruling on the Obergefell v. Hodges 

case was finalized in May 2015, 

he decided that it was time for a 

major life change, thus Ron Sanford 

Productions was officially launched. 

Since then, Ron Sanford 

Productions has produced the 

yearly charity gala for the Scott 

Hamilton Cares Foundation, was 

named annual planner of the 

Tennessee Kidney Foundation’s 

annual gala, was named the annual 

producer for Miss Gay USofA and 

Miss Gay America, and has worked 

with the local LGBT community 

for fundraising events. You will 

often see him at various events 

lending his time, labor, money and 

creativity to causes that support 

the community like Nashville Pride, 

the Nashville LGBT Chamber of 

Commerce, Bianca Paige Day, and 

the Nashville Cares AIDS Walk. 


DR. ROBYN HENDERSON- 

ESPINOZA (THEY/THEM) 

Dr. Robyn is an activist 

theologian who uses story 

to mobilize folks for radical 

social change. They are also 

the founder of the Activist 

Theology Project and author 

of Activist Theology. Dr. 

Robyn was named 1 of 10 Faith 

Leaders to watch by the Center 

for American Progress in 2018. 

In addition to their work in 

theology and activism, Dr. Robyn 

has volunteered with many 

causes including the Colorado 

Latinas for Reproductive Justice 

(COLOR) in Denver, Colorado, 

the Depression & Bipolar 

Support Alliance in Chicago, 

Illinois, and the Leukemia & 

Lymphoma Society. 

Dr. Robyn is currently working 

with Open Table Nashville 

during cold nights getting 

homeless folks into shelters 

by canvassing the streets and 

transporting people. 

Dr. Robyn is wearing 

Bow Tie: Broadway 

by Clifton+Leopold 


MAC HUFFINGTON (SHE/HER) 

Mac is wearing 

Twilly: Olive by 


Mac is the wearer of many hats 

and a staple here in the LGBT 

Community. She is the founder 

and owner of MAC Productions, 

the Ms. Tennessee Diamond 

Diva Pageant, and the Mr. 

Esquire MI Pageant — which is 

the longest-running pageant 

system in the Southeastern 

Region running for 24 years. 

She’s been the coordinator for 

the Nashville Pride Turnabout 

Fundraiser, the Nashville Pride 

Drag Stage and the original 

creator and coordinator for the 

Nashville Pride Pageant. 

Mac is on the board of 

Nashville Pride, the Nashville 

LGBT Chamber of Commerce 

and Nashville Black Pride. She 

has served as a coordinator 

with BASU (formerly known 

as Sister’s United) and as an 

off-campus advisor for the 

Tennessee State University Gay 

& Straight Alliance. She was 

nominated for the Women Who 

Rock Community Service Award 

and recently accepted the 

nomination for Vice-President 

of the Nashville Pride Board. 

Mac holds an annual Toys 

for Tots Fundraiser and 

supports/volunteers for many 

organizations in the community 

including the Metro Human 

Relations Commission through 

the Mobile Diversity Police 

Training Seminars, Oasis Center, 

MashUp, LaunchPad and 

more. Mac enjoys her work in 

the community, traveling and 

spending time with her partner 

of 22 years, Stallion. 


JULIA TATE-KEITH, ESQ. 

Julia devotes herself to serving the needs of families. 

After law school, she worked with Judge William 

Frank Crawford on the Tennessee Court of Appeals. 

During this time, she worked on the Court’s opinion in 

a ground-breaking opinion addressing the disposition 

of frozen embryos, Davis v. Davis. In 2017, she filed a 

lawsuit on behalf of six same-sex couples challenging 

the “natural meaning law” that former Gov. Bill Haslam 

signed into law that meant that a child conceived 

by artificial insemination to a lesbian couple would 

only have the biological mother’s name on the birth 

certificate. Thankfully, this case was quickly dismissed 

as a precedent had already been set with the 

legalization of marriage equality. 

In her private practice, Julia continues to help 

families. She handled the appeal which resulted in 

the ground-breaking opinion in Nale v. Robertson 871 

S.W.2d674 (1994), which protects the parental rights 

of fathers. She writes articles and monographs, drafts 

model legislation, and speaks at various meetings to 

advocate for the protection of the families formed by 

gay and lesbian parents. 

Julia has overcome adversity to get to where she is 

today including personal challenges that led her to 

fighting for LGBT+ rights her entire adult life. This has 

been quite evident in her dedication to creating the 

community group, Rainbow Rutherford. She is always 

advocating for the rights of others and making sure the 

underserved are represented. 

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Olivia is wearing 

Twilly: Harvest by 


LIVE FREE 

by Lauren Means | photo courtesy of Tennessee Photographs 

We all know, deep down, when we are different from what 

society deems “normal.” There can be an internal struggle, 

external battles with loved ones and oftentimes loneliness. 

While being transgender 

is more transparent now 

than even just a couple of 

years ago, it doesn’t change 

the fear one experiences. 

Olivia Hill, a native 

Nashvillian, knows this all 

too well. She’s open with 

her coming out story and 

said she realized at the age 

of five that she was the 

same as her mother. In an 

interview with Vanderbilt 

University Medical Center 

(VUMC), she said, “I felt the 

same as any other girl in my 

family.” 

In the fifth grade, her 

class had a variety show. 

She wanted to be Minnie 

Pearl from the Grand Ole 

Opry. Her mom made 

her a hat with flowers all 

over it like Minnie Pearl’s, 

but wouldn’t let her wear 

a dress. In overalls, she 

stepped out on the stage 

the day of the show, feeling 

so confident, and gave a 

“How-dee!” to the audience 

expecting a “How-dee!” 

back like Minnie Pearl 

would be greeted. She 

was, however, met with 

silence and said she was 

completely embarrassed. 

She left the stage in tears. 

That night, Hill and her 

mother had a long talk that 

ended with her being taken 

to a psychiatrist in Green 

Hills where she would 

spend the next two years 

being taught “how to be a 

boy.” 

When she was old 

enough, she enlisted in the 

military and entered boot 

camp. This is where she 

really learned to suppress 

her true self and she 

developed her “manly, cool, 

super awesome” persona. 

An Evolution 

It wouldn’t last forever 

though. Her mother passed 

away in 2015 and that’s 

when she said her “egg 

cracked” meaning that’s 

when everything she had 

suppressed came to the 

surface. “I knew I couldn’t 

hide me any longer,” Hill said. 

She began seeing a 

therapist and after two 

years worked up the 

courage to start taking 

estrogen. In September 

2018, she legally changed 

her name to Olivia Ruth 

Hill paying homage to her 

grandmother with her 

middle name Ruth and 

her mother by taking her 

maiden name Hill. She 

wanted to acknowledge 

the two strong, amazing 

women in her life. 

Hill eventually had 

gender-confirming surgery 

at Duke University. She said 

it’s after having surgery 

that a lot of transgender 

individuals go through a 

very dark place. “I was 

as scared as I have ever 

been in my entire life,” she 

revealed. She was finally 

herself but she was also 

alone. 

After some setbacks 

finding an affirming plastic 

surgeon, she found one 

at VUMC and had facial 

feminization surgery in May 

2019. 

Finding Support 

Living her truth has cost 


her many relationships 

including her adult children, 

lifelong friends, and even 

being denied the ability to 

meet her granddaughter. 

Hill said, “To be honest there 

is no difference between 

a lesbian, a gay man or 

trans person that makes 

the decision to say.... this 

is my authentic self. Some 

have support. Some lose 

everything. My best advice 

is to try to surround yourself 

with good, positive and 

supportive people. The good 

news if you lose your family, 

the LGBTQ community is 

really great about stepping 

in and helping each other. 

Then you have your chosen 

family.” 

Sometimes the unknown 

can be the scariest part of 

finally living your authentic 

life. Getting proper 

information can combat 

a lot of this fear. “There is 

so much bad information 

out there. When a person 

starts to transition they 

usually start looking online 

for groups and information. 

It has been my experience 

that when a person has a 

bad encounter they will 

log on and share as much 

about it in graphic detail. 

When things go well, most 

people don’t say anything. 

So it sets us all up to be 

scared,” explained Hill. 

She went on to say, 

“Then there is our own 

head. We all are our own 

worst critics. Fear is a liar 

and has a way to steer us 

into solitude. Which makes 

things even worse.” Hill’s 

advice when one starts 

to have fear creep in is to 

reach out and ask for help. 

Building Community 

Hill has submerged 

herself into community 

activities. She is on the 

Equity Diversity Inclusion 

committee under the 

University Staff Advisory 

Council where she was 

elected to serve a twoyear 

term at Vanderbilt. 

She is also on the Women’s 

Committee at Vanderbilt 

University, volunteers at 

VUMC through the Trans 

Buddy Program, and helps 

run the trans support 

group at the Table with 

Dawn Bennett among 

other projects. 

While being involved in 

the community helps with 

building confidence, she 

said, “it just takes time to 

build up the courage to fully 

relax and be our true selves. 

My story is not unique to me 

nor to transgender people. 

Many have had similar 

struggles with friends and 

family when they came 

out. Many still pretend to 

be straight around family 

just to not be shunned. 

Sometimes people feel it’s 

better to fake it than to sit at 

home alone on the holidays. 

That hurts my heart thinking 

about how many out there 

are living a lie, just like I did 

for years.” 

Of all the things she 

has learned during her 

transition, Hill stated there 

are some things that are 

never discussed enough 

during transitioning. 

She said, “For me, I had 

absolutely no idea how 

much privilege I had as an 

acting cis-gender white 

straight male. No one talks 

about losing privilege. But 

it goes away fast. I’ve had 

more issues with just plain 

sexism and loss of privilege 

than I ever did with 

transphobia. I’m quite the 

feminist and believe the Me 

Too movement needs to 

expand and grow.” 

To watch Olivia’s 

interview with VUMC click 

here. 

www.CliftonandLeopold.com

life 

SO MUCH 

LOVE TO GIVE 

by Lauren Means | photos courtesy of Ernie Ratliff and George Fenner 

Family planning has always been a different experience for members of the LGBT+ 

community. There is sometimes a different set of legal, financial and societal hurdles 

we have to jump in order to start a family, especially adoption for LGBT+ families. It 

has played out in the news time and time again — adoption agencies denying same-sex 

couples the right to adopt children who are in the system and desperately need a home. 

It’s always nice to share 

a success story where 

children who need homes 

have a smooth transition 

to adoption. This has been 

the case for Ernie Ratliff 

and his husband George 

Fenner. Ernie and George 

have been together for 35 

years. They met through 

work while they were 

both attending school in 

Florida where Ernie studied 

accounting and George 

became a registered nurse. 

After Hurricane Charley 

blew through where they 

lived in 2005, they decided 

to move to Murfreesboro 

where Ernie’s sister lives. 

It Was Destiny 

It was Ernie’s sister who 

introduced the idea of 

fostering. In 2009 they 

started classes for foster 

certification and took their 

first placement the day 

after Christmas that year. 

Since then, they’ve had 25 

placements and in 2010 

they decided they wanted 

a family of their own that 

would be permanent. “We 

reached out to our foster 

agency and asked for foster 

to adopt placements,” 

said Ernie. This was when 

they met 10-year-old 

Destiny. Ernie said, “she 

had interests similar to ours 


especially with animals 

and she moved in with us 

in May 2011 the day school 

ended for the year.” Seven 

months later, George and 

Ernie officially adopted her. 

She is now 20 and mother 

to their first grandchild. 

They couldn’t stop with 

Destiny. “We continued to 

seek out foster to adopt 

children as well as children 

whose goal was family 

reunification. In 2014 we 

heard of a sibling pair — a 

boy and girl who were 

eight named James and 

Jessie. They moved in with 

us in August of 2014 and 

we were lucky enough 

to adopt them in June of 

2015,” recalled Ernie. This 

happened just two weeks 

before the Supreme Court 

ruling allowing same-sex 

marriage. 

“Up until that time, only 

one gay parent could 

adopt through the state,” 

Ernie explained referring to 

Tennessee, “and then you 

would have to do a second 

parent adoption separately 

after finalization. In this 

case a judge in Sumner 

county allowed us to adopt 

jointly without the benefit 

of marriage yet.” They were 

eventually wed August 29, 

2015. 

They went on to adopt 

three more children at 

different times that were all 

around the age of 17. “Jay is 

our daughter who is almost 

21 and now lives in Texas. 

We adopted Jay in June 

2017. Cody is our son that 

came to live with us in May 

2019 and we adopted him 

in May 2020 — two months 

before he turned 18. He is 

currently a senior in high 

school and graduates this 

May,” said Ernie. 

Melody moved in with 

them when she was 13 and 

lived with them for three 

years before moving to 

another pre adoptive home 

in 2019. “Through no fault 

of hers, the placement 

didn’t work out and she 

was moved to a foster 

home. She contacted us 

and asked if we could see 

if she could come back 

to us,” remembers Ernie. 

They contacted DCS and 

her guardian ad litem 

who, along with her entire 

foster care team, agreed 

to allow her to move 

back in with them in May 

2020. Typically there is a 

six month waiting period 

before one can adopt 

their foster child, but 

since Melody lived with 

them previously, the judge 

waived this requirement 

and they were able to 

adopt her in August 2020. 

She is also a senior in high 

school and will graduate 

this May. 

Love, Guidance and 

Structure 

When asked why they 

decided on adoption, 

Ernie said, “We realize 

the importance of family 

reunification when 

possible, but throughout 

our journey we met and 

heard of so many children 

— especially the older 

ones — that needed a 

forever home. We were 

at the place in our lives 

where we had the means 

and maturity to offer our 

love and home to children 

forever.” 

He acknowledged 

teenagers are hard to place 

and usually have trauma 

backgrounds that can be 

challenging but says with 

love and guidance and 

structure these children 

can flourish and have very 

successful lives. “They 

bring so much to us in so 

many ways. Our lives have 

been forever changed for 

the better,” said Ernie. They 

currently have a 13-year-old 

foster son who has been 

with them for a little over 

a year. Ernie said he will be 

available for adoption and 

they will decide if the fit is 

a good one for everyone. 

Private vs State 

Ernie and George have 

only fostered and adopted 

through state licensed 

foster agencies. They never 

felt the need to use private 

or religious agencies 

but do take advantage 

of support groups and 

counseling through 

Catholic charities and 

similar programs. “I know 

that there has been talk 

that some of their divisions 

or branches can be nonfamily 

friendly. We have 

never experienced this in 

almost 10 years of contact. 

Everyone has been very 

supportive of us and our 

kiddos,” said Ernie. 

He did reveal that during 

their first encounter 

with adoption during 

a Department of Child 

Services (DCS) Child and 

Family Team Meeting 

(CFTM), they were 

discussing adoption and 

the flow of events that 

would take place and 

a team member made 

a comment something 

like “I’m not entirely 

comfortable with a gay 

parent adopting.” 

Ernie said their adoption 

specialist from the foster 

agency immediately 

spoke up and told them 

that this sort of talk 

was completely out of 

line and would not be 

continued or maybe some 

legal representation was 

needed. “Nothing ever 

was said again,” Ernie said 

with a smile. 

Self-Evaluate Before 

Taking the Leap 

Ernie said they’ve had 

quite a few allies in their 

journey and are forever 

grateful for all of the 

support and love. He does 

urge others to do their 

research and understand 

exactly what you are 

getting into. “It is a lifelong 

responsibility that not 

everyone can handle. 

We chose to foster first 

and see how we were as 

parents, a couple and a 

family,” explained Ernie. 

You must know your 

rights, your child’s rights 

and the law. Ernie said the 

journey is very fulfilling 

but can be overwhelming 

— especially being 

LGBT+. “The schools, 

doctors, therapists, kids 

friends and parents can 

sometimes judge or have 

a preconceived thought of 

what my family is or should 

be. Being an advocate 

for yourself and your kids 

along with having a thick 

skin sometimes can be 

very helpful. Emotions can 

override the best interests 

and I guess picking and 

choosing your battles is 

the best way to put it,” 

according to Ernie. 

Life in a New Light 

“Adoption is such a 

wonderful thing. It made 

us see life and what’s 

important in a much 

different light,” Ernie 

said. While he admits 

parenting can be tiring, 

overwhelming and time 

consuming, he said there 

is no greater reward than 

seeing a child grow and 

become themselves. “The 

progress we have seen in 

our kids both adoptive and 

foster is so satisfying and 

gives a sense of purpose 

every day.” 


lgbt youth 

SUPPORTING YOUTH: 

A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH 

by Lauren Means | photos courtesy of Brianna Fearing 

In larger cities and 

metro areas, it’s becoming 

easier to find resources 

and services for the 

LGBT+ community. This 

is something that’s taken 

many years and a lot of 

blood, sweat and tears. 

Now, it’s members of the 

community in the suburbs 

and rural areas that are 

working to bring resources 

and services to their areas. 

Brianna Fearing is 

leading the charge for the 

LGBT+ youth in Maury and 

Marshall Counties. Living 

in Tennessee for the last 

eight years, Fearing notes 

the climate is noticeably 

more conservative than 

New England where she’s 

from originally. “I was really 

shocked that people would 

have Marriage = 1 Man + 

1 Woman plastered on 

the back of their car but 

now that’s become a part 

of the scenery. I’ve only 

been openly discriminated 

against one time in the 

four-ish years that I’ve 

been out of the closet. 

However, my wife and I 

don’t advertise that we’re a 

couple,” said Fearing. 

Fearing and her wife 

don’t feel safe holding 

hands in public and she 

doesn’t feel safe disclosing 

she’s gay to the parents 

of her daughter’s friends 

for fear it could disrupt 

her child’s social life. She 

explained, “Overall, I don’t 

discuss it openly unless I 

trust the other person. That 

being said, I’m the picture 

of a cliche lesbian and wear 

rainbow stuff all the time, 

so I imagine people make 

their own assessment.” 

While she’s doing a lot 

of the work building this 

community behind the 

scenes, bringing awareness 

to the LGBT+ community 

in the area and changing 

the climate to one of 

acceptance is why she is 

doing this and stated, “I 

plan to step up and be 

transparent about myself 

and my group once there is 

enough support.” 

History Not 

Repeating Itself 

For Fearing, it was her 

own experience growing 

up and coming out that 

pushed her to create the 

Marshall and Maury County 

LGBTQ Alliance group on 

Facebook. She said, “As a 

teen, I tried to come out 

of the closet several times 

and each time was pushed 

back in by either my parents 

or relentless bullying. As a 

result, I pushed my feelings 

down and didn’t officially 

come out of the closet — for 

good — until my late 20s.” 

Fearing married her best 

male friend and they had a 

child together. She finally 

admitted her true feelings 

at age 28. Now 33, she’s 

happily married to a woman 

and still very close friends 

with her child’s father. She 

recognizes things would’ve 

been different for her in 

high school and young 

adulthood if she’d had a 

support system or a safe 

place to be herself. “My 

mental health suffered so 

much in high school,” said 

Fearing. 

Having a child of her 

own who is entering 

kindergarten has brought 

up these feelings again. 

Her child hasn’t expressed 

anything to do with being 

queer but just having a 

child reminded her of what 

it was like to be in school. 

“I wanted to create a 

safe space for the youth in 

this area to be themselves, 

connect with other people 

and get resources — LGBT+ 

specific healthcare and 

mental health care, HIV/ 

STD testing and care, 

resources for queer 

BIPOC, scholarships, 

churches, support groups, 

homelessness, emergency 

services, etc.,” Fearing said. 

Having support can mean 

the difference between 

life and death for some 

people. She revealed, “As 

a teen, there were times I 

considered suicide because 

of my sexuality, and I know 

this is the case for a huge 

number of queer youth.” 

Building Resources 

“Initially, I wasn’t 

sure what I wanted to 

accomplish, and that’s still 

in flux,” said Fearing. She 

began doing research, 

established a Facebook 

page and started building 

an online presence to get 

the word out. 

She envisions a support 

group after school for 

teens to sit around and 

talk where she could 

serve as the catalyst for 

getting things started but 

allowing the youth to run 

it and take ownership of 

their own support group. 


“That was my initial vision, 

however, it’s become 

apparent that there’s a 

need for local queer adults 

as well, though I haven’t 

developed a plan for that 

yet,” Fearing explained. 

COVID, of course, has made 

it more difficult to try to get 

a group together in person, 

but this has forced Fearing 

to focus more on building 

a solid community before 

taking action. 

Expanding on Diversity 

Fearing thinks that any 

sort of LGBT+ group would 

be beneficial in her area. 

“Nashville is much more 

culturally diverse than 

where I live, so there isn’t 

a vibrant openly queer 

community that I’m aware 

of. I’d love to have the 

opportunity to meet with 

fellow queer folks and 

support queer youth,” she 

said. 

Locally, the Franklin 

PFLAG chapter does 

a phenomenal job for 

parents of queer children 

but there’s very little 

support of queer youth 

in local schools based on 

conversations with others 

in the area. “Recently, 

teachers from a local 

middle school reached out 

to me and a friend of mine 

who’s active in the queer 

community with PFLAG 

and Tennessee Equality 

Project about helping start 

a GSA in their school. We 

did a lot of brainstorming 

and developed a plan,” 

recalled Fearing. Barring 

some initial pushback from 

some more conservative 

faculty, the kids are 

actively getting their GSA 

going with the help of their 

teachers. 

She doesn’t feel alone 

in the drive for youth 

programs and said others 

clearly recognize the need 

for queer youth support, 

“I’ve recently been reached 

out to about collaborating 

to create a youth pride 

event for next year. I think 

this sort of momentum 

is what the local queer 

community needs, 

especially kids who need 

support the most.” 

For more information check 

out the Marshall and Maury 

County LGBTQ Alliance 

Facebook group. 

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faith+spirituality 

‘YOU ARE BELOVED’ 

By Lauren Means | photos courtesy Pastor Dawn Bennett & The Table 

I grew up in the Church 

of Christ. I was never taught 

to hate but I do remember 

hearing the phrase “hate 

the sin, not the sinner” 

frequently. As I grew older, 

I started to question what 

that meant exactly. When I 

came to terms with my own 

sexual orientation, I realized 

I was the sin. This has led to 

much time reflecting on my 

personal relationship with 

religion and spirituality. 

This is common for many in 

the LGBT+ community. We’re 

inundated with it in the news, 

on TV, on social media, and 

often in our families. We’re 

told we are broken; that 

there’s something wrong with 

who we are; that we need 

fixing. 

Luckily, there are numerous 

affirming faith communities 

in the Middle Tennessee area. 

Many are in Nashville but you 

can find them in outlying 

areas too. In the South, 

being affirming to the LGBT+ 

community is a bold stance 

to take. We’re fortunate to 

have organizations that go 

out of their way to let us 

know we are loved as we 

are. The Table is a welcome 

addition to the list. 

Finding Her Truth 

The Table is described as 

an organic faith community 

by its founder Pastor Dawn 

Bennett. Pastor Dawn was 

raised with her siblings in the 

Catholic tradition. “Strangely, 

from an early age, I was 

driven to go inside with my 

feelings and questions, which 

included my bisexuality. As 

a kid, I began talking to God 

in a conversational way,” she 

said. Pastor Dawn explained 

while she didn’t learn this in 

Sunday School per se, it’s 

what developed for her. She 

also shared that, over the 

years, she learned about 

abuses her siblings endured 

— especially her brothers — 

within the church. She kept 

talking with God about how 

this could be and eventually 

found the Catholic doctrine 

wasn’t a maintainable faith 

tradition for her. 

Embracing Her Truth 

In the mid-’90s, when 

her children were young, 

Pastor Dawn and her family 

moved to Tennessee. 

She’d transitioned to the 

Evangelical Lutheran 

Church in America (ELCA) 

and began working in lay 

ministry, teaching and 

Vacation Bible School. 

As time passed, her 

children wanted a youth 

group with all the buttons 

and bells. “Enter [the] bigbox 

evangelical church,” 

she said. “A few years in, 

my middle child came out 

as lesbian. Or, actually, was 

outed by the youth pastor’s 

wife.....no way! Yes, way. Well, 

family and church life blew up 

and before I knew it, none of 

my kids would go to church 

and divorce was right around 

the bend,” shared Pastor 

Dawn. 

As the years progressed, 

she said her conversations 

with God turned more to 

rage and questions. “But still, 

I couldn’t seem to separate 

myself from either my lived 

experiences or ministry. Over 

time God began talking back 

to me in answers like, ‘if you 

want something to change, 

change it.’ So, I did,” she 

said. She went to Vanderbilt 

Divinity School and Luther 

Seminary. Now, she works to 

help people and families heal 


from religious trauma as well 

as find and create meaningful 

ways to engage with their 

faith as they understand it. 

“I’m ordained to the Ministry 

of Word and Sacrament — 

which basically means if we 

can dream it, I can do it, as far 

as the Church is concerned,” 

she explained. 

Cultivating her Truth 

Pastor Dawn said, “As 

Pastor, there’re really only 

two questions I seek to 

learn: 1) what do you need, 

and 2) how can I help. That 

said, some of the greatest 

needs I know about involve 

safe places for us to ‘be us,’ 

whatever that looks like for a 

person.” 

She’s learned that most of 

us practice some sort of faith 

and many of us come from 

Christian traditions that have, 

in some way, harmed us. 

One of the most important 

needs she sees is what she 

calls bridge-building. “That 

is, building bridges to span 

the gap between the hurt 

and the healing. My Bishop, 

Rev. Kevin Strickland, gave 

me permission to ‘get as 

radical as necessary to help 

those who have need.’ He 

knows what the needs are, 

perhaps better than I do 

in fact. Before becoming 

Bishop he was a pastor here, 

in Nashville. By calling me as 

a pastor to serve here, he’s 

helped create an opportunity 

for the ELCA Lutheran 

church to become part of the 

remedy,” said Pastor Dawn. 

She continued, “The 

‘Church,’ that is the whole 

Christian church, all 

denominations, has done 

great harm to LGBT+ folx 

over the centuries — this we 

know. The Table aims to help 

heal some of those wounds.” 

She said they aim to be a 

place where one’s authentic 

self, in all their beautiful mess, 

can come together and 

create something new and 

beautiful. 

Sharing Her Truth 

When asked for advice for 

someone who is struggling 

with balancing being true 

to their identity and their 

spirituality, she said, “God, 

created you AS you are. 

You’re loved and beautiful 

in your Creator’s eyes. I 

believe this so deeply and 

my claim is evidenced by the 

Prophets of old; Jeremiah 

1:5 says, ‘I knew you before 

you were formed.’ There’s no 

expectation on God’s part for 

us to be anyone other than 

who we’re led to be. We all 

know our truth. It sits deep 

within us. Some call it a gut 

feeling, some inner knowing, 

some intuition, some the 

Spirit within. All of these are 

correct and they all speak the 

same Truth.” 

She went further to say, “If 

you know how you are called 

to live, lean gently into it. If 

your faith tradition does not 

lead you deeper into yourself 

and further toward love, you 

have likely outgrown that 

part of your faith journey. 

God has not made any 

mistakes and God does not 

make any junk. God is love 

and we are love. The risk and 

reward is in keeping on the 

path of learning how to carry 

those realities in tandem. 

And, for me, that’s why we 

call ourselves the Beloved 

Community.” 

Faith is Like a Garden 

Some groups are more 

vulnerable than others 

when it comes to finding a 

welcoming spiritual family. 

Pastor Dawn said, “The 

Table provides ‘grace and 

a place for you.’ What this 

means is, wherever you 

find yourself on the path 

of faith, you are welcome. 

But more importantly, 

you are affirmed.” She 

points out that welcoming 

and affirming isn’t the 

same. This is an important 

distinction when someone 

of the LGBT+ community is 

looking for a faith home. 

“It can be a slow crawl 

back to a sense of safety. 

Many of us, particularly in 

the trans* community, have 

been so hurt and harmed it 

feels impossible to heal. But 

as scripture says ‘nothing is 

impossible with God,’” she 

said. 

The Table will be a place 

of healing and reconnecting 

back to a life-giving place 

to practice faith. She wants 

to tell people that it’s okay 

to talk, rage and inquire; 

that God can handle it. The 

Table will provide a place of 

freedom to explore those 

areas of life and death where 

faith is concerned. 

“Pruning is a spiritually 

sound principle. I hope to 

illustrate an example of faith 

like a garden: some things 

have to die before others 

can come to life; sometimes 

weeds and flowers grow 

together in the same plot; 

something is always in 

bloom. At the minimum, The 

Table hopes to be a place 

to work the soil of your 

faith. At most, we hope to 

be a garden,” stated Pastor 

Dawn. 

Looking Forward 

She planted the 

roots and really started 

growing the community 

at the beginning of this 

year — and then COVID 

hit. That hasn’t stopped 

The Table from moving 

forward. On December 4, 

at 7 pm, they’re hosting 

“Drag Wership - Live” in 

collaboration with Mac 

Productions. They also 

have the Community Hope 

Chest which provides free 

clothing and accessories 

to transgender individuals 

who experience a barrier to 

resources. In January, they 

plan to begin live Queer Mic 

Nite. 

They’ll soon begin a 

Wednesday evening adult 

scripture study twice 

monthly via zoom. It’ll be a 

place to bring your doubts, 

fears, questions and hopes. 

Rainbow Connection is 

an LGBT+ youth group via 

zoom (for now) aimed at 

providing a place for youth 

who have more questions 

than their current youth 

group serves and a place 

where they can be more 

fully themselves. Pastor 

Dawn has begun posting 

a monthly newsletter on 

social media and all events 

are on The Table’s website. 

“Since our activities grow 

out of need, we create 

new opportunities to meet 

people where they are to 

help them make meaning of 

life and faith,” she said. 

If you have a dream, Pastor 

Dawn urges you to talk to 

her to see how she can help 

make it come to life. She 

equated a pastor to a cruise 

ship captain saying, “I only 

drive the boat. Everyone 

knows it’s the crew who 

runs the place and the 

people on board who make 

it a collective life-giving 

experience.” She does need 

your help in however God 

moves you to be involved. 

Most importantly, she wants 

you to know: “God loves you 

as you are, for who you are 

and where you are. Wherever 

you are, it’s okay. You are 

beloved.” 

The Table always needs 

volunteers and funding. For 

more information on how 

you can help or how to get 

involved in the services, visit 

thetablenashville.org. 


Today, there are almost 

1500 Sisters worldwide with 

over 50 houses in North 

America and houses on 

nearly every continent in the 

world. The Music City Sisters 

of Perpetual Indulgence 

(MCSPI) formed in 2010 

when they took the plunge 

and opened the Nashville 

house. While all houses 

are independent, they 

follow the founding mission 

statement of the Order in 

San Fransisco: 

“The Sisters of Perpetual 

Indulgence® are a leadingcommunity 

‘IT’S WHAT’S UNDER THE 

CORONET THAT COUNTS’ 

by Lauren Means | photos courtesy of Music City Sisters 

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence® is a charity, protest and street performance 

organization. The first house, The Mother House, was started 41 years ago in San 

Francisco when a group of gay men began wearing nun habits in visible situations to 

draw attention to social conflicts and problems in the Castro District. The sisters took vows 

to Promulgate Universal Joy and Expiate Stigmatic Guilt and their website states, “We are 

here for our community to foster hope, creativity, and wellness!” 

edge Order of queer and 

trans nuns. We believe 

all people have a right 

to express their unique 

joy and beauty. Since 

our first appearance in 

San Francisco on Easter 

Sunday, 1979, the Sisters 

have devoted ourselves 

to community service, 

ministry and outreach to 

those on the edges, and to 

promoting human rights, 

respect for diversity and 

spiritual enlightenment. 

We use humor and 

irreverent wit to expose 


the forces of bigotry, 

complacency and guilt that 

chain the human spirit.” 

While the Music City 

Sisters are celebrating 

their 10 year anniversary 

this year, they’ve had to 

cancel all planned events 

until recently. We spoke 

with the Sisters to find out 

more about their purpose, 

how COVID-19 has affected 

them, and what we have to 

look forward to from the 

organization. 

Focus Middle Tennessee: 

What types of events 

and fundraisers do the 

Music City Sisters host 

and who benefits from the 

fundraisers? 

Music City Sisters of 

Perpetual Indulgence: Last 

year your Music City Sisters 

raised over ten thousand 

dollars that we granted to 

Middle Tennessee LGBTQ+ 

organizations. We have 

several fundraising events 

each year including The 

Pink Panty Pulldown, The 

Freak and Fetish Fashion 

Show, Soak A Sister, Bitches 

Ball and many more. We are 

a non-profit organization 

working with local LGBTQ+ 

organizations to help those 

in need. 

FMT: How has COVID-19 

affected the MCSPI? 

MCSPI: COVID-19 has 

been extremely tough 

for the Sisters across the 

globe. We are a community 

outreach organization. We 

go where we are needed. 

We hug people, give them 

a smile, listen to them and 

generally try to make them 

feel fabulous. This is nearly 

impossible to do virtually. 

We have been challenged 

to continue our work 

online. We have been going 

through a metamorphosis 

of sorts. We long for the 

day we can hit the streets 

again and hug people! 

FMT: How can our readers 

help support the MCSPI? 

MCSPI: Donations! If 

people want to help out, 

please use PayPal alms@ 

musiccitysisters.org. We 

also have Square, FB pay 

and many other ways to 

donate, so please use 

the “alms” email address 

above to find us where 

you donate. Also, email 

the “alms” address to ask 

for help in donating or 

with questions. Folks can 

also use Amazon Smile 

and search for the Music 

City Sisters to donate 

every time you order. 

Our general email is 

musiccitysistersmedia@ 

gmail.com 

FMT: Any upcoming 

events we can look 

forward to? 

MCSPI: We are currently 

working on the Bitches 

Ball, where performers 

of all stripes compete to 

raise the most money and 

win the BB crown at the 

end of October. You can 

find more information 

on all social media by 

searching the Music City 

Sisters. 

FMT: Anything else you 

would like to add? 

MCSPI: We want the 

readers to know that we 

Music City Sisters support 

all LGBTQ+ people no 

matter race, gender, 

religion, creed, or anything 

else. You are exactly who 

you are supposed to be 

and you are beautiful! We 

also encourage everyone 

to make a plan and vote or 

vote early and have your 

voice heard. 

Don’t forget, as Sister 

Mary Chastity Mistress of 

Propaganda and Media 

says, “It’s what’s under the 

coronet that counts.” 


travel 

PRIDE JOURNEYS 

MONTEREY, 

CALIFORNIA 

story and photos by Joey Amato 

For nearly a decade, Monterey has been on my bucket list of U.S. 

destinations I wished to visit. The picturesque seaside town always 

seemed to pop up on my social media feed just when I was in need 

of a relaxing vacation. I decided this year would be the year I ventured to 

Monterey. I flew into San Jose airport where I met up with Joey Suarez, a 

friend and EDM musician who decided to tag along for this journey. It was 

also Joey’s first time visiting Monterey so we had the opportunity to explore 

the city for the first time together, which was quite a fun experience. 


The first thing we did 

upon arrival was check in 

to our hotel, the beautiful 

Monterey Plaza Hotel & 

Spa, located right on the 

water in the Cannery Row 

district of Monterey. The 

district got its name for 

being home to dozens 

of sardine canneries and 

was also the setting of 

John Steinbeck’s novels 

“Cannery Row” and “Sweet 

Thursday.” Steinbeck was 

born in nearby Salinas 

and his father served as 

Monterey County treasurer. 

The area is adorned with 

tributes to Steinbeck with 

statues erected in his honor 

and buildings bearing his 

name. 

If you have a chance to 

visit Monterey Plaza, ask 

for the owner’s suite which 

comes complete with a 

baby grand piano, dining 

table for eight guests, two 

full bathrooms and three 

wrap-around porches, not 

to mention unobstructed 

views of Monterey Bay. We 

didn’t even need an alarm, 

as each morning we were 

awoken by the barks of the 

sea lions that gather along 

the coastline. 

Monterey is home to 

a ton of sea life. We had 

the opportunity to take 

a guided kayak tour of 

Monterey Bay given by a 

company called Adventures 

by the Sea. During our onehour 

excursion, we passed 

dozens of seals, otters, 

sea lions and other marine 

animals. 

At the time of my visit, 

California had strict 

COVID-19 restrictions, 

so masks were required 

everywhere, and 

restaurants were only 

allowed to offer outdoor 

dining, but because many 

have great views of the 

water, I didn’t mind dining 

al fresco. Monterey has a 

cute downtown with many 

locally-owned shops and 

restaurants. If you’re in 

the mood for a pre-dinner 

drink, swing by Montrio 

Bistro for one of their 

signature cocktails. 

Schooners Coastal 

Kitchen & Bar is located in 

the Monterey Plaza Hotel 

and offers a wonderful 

selection of fish entrees. 

Joey and I began our 

meal with the Fresh Catch 

which consisted of Morro 

Bay pacific gold oysters, 

black tiger prawns and 

octopus ceviche. I fell in 

love with the prawns and 

the homemade cocktail 

sauce. While Joey decided 

to go with a panini as his 

main course, I stuck with 

fish. One of my favorite 

dishes is Cioppino. I first 

had the dish during a visit 

to San Francisco many 

years ago and order it 

every time I can find a 

restaurant that offers 

it. Each establishment 

has its own twist on this 

entrée. Schooners version 

of Cioppino contained 

shrimp, clams, mussels, 

calamari, and seasonal fish 

all in a delicious saffron- 

Dungeness crab broth. 

Walking along Cannery 

Row is like taking a walk 

through history. Many 

of the old buildings still 

exist, although they are 

repurposed into hotels and 

retail establishments. Soap 

Confections makes handcrafted 

soaps available in 

a variety of shapes and 

scents, while Global Candle 


Gallery creates one-of-akind 

custom candles right 

in front of your eyes. 

Along the way, we 

stopped at Coniglio 

Brothers Italian Deli for 

a delicious charcuterie 

platter. One thing is for 

sure, they do not skimp on 

the meat and cheese. There 

was so much prosciutto we 

had some to bring back to 

our hotel for an afternoon 

snack. That being said, 

we needed a nice bottle 

of wine to pair with our 

leftovers, so we stopped 

by A Taste of Monterey, 

a wine market and bistro 

which offers an extensive 

collection of local wines 

from Monterey County 

winemakers. 

Because many of 

the indoor attractions, 

such as the Monterey 

Bay Aquarium were still 

closed due to COVID-19 

restrictions, we had a lot 

of free time to walk around 

the town and eat…and 

boy did we eat. The Fish 

Hopper is a family-owned 

restaurant founded in 1950, 

which offers stunning views 

of the bay and incredible 

cocktails. Since I was on 

vacation, I went for the 

Toasted Coconut Colada, 

made with Skyy Pineapple 

vodka, pineapple juice, a 

splash of Amaretto and a 

house special piña colada 

mix. It was the perfect way 

to enjoy lunch with great 

company. 

To cap off our culinary 

journey of Monterey, we 

visited The Sardine Factory. 

Don’t let the name fool you. 

The establishment is one of 

the most incredible finedining 

experiences I’ve ever 

had — all underneath a tent. 

Although customers aren’t 

allowed inside the building 

(except for restroom use), 

we got a private tour of the 

“ 

BECAUSE MANY 

OF THE INDOOR 

ATTRACTIONS, SUCH 

AS THE MONTEREY 

BAY AQUARIUM, 

ARE STILL CLOSED 

DUE TO COVID-19 

RESTRICTIONS, 

WE HAD A LOT OF 

FREE TIME TO WALK 

AROUND THE TOWN 

AND EAT... AND BOY 

DID WE EAT. 

property, which includes 

an elaborate wine cellar fit 

for a king, complete with 

a custom wooden table 

large enough to seat 24 

guests. The Sardine Factory 

is known for its extensive 

wine list, one of the finest 

in the world, complete 

with over 2,000 labels 

and 20,000 bottles. The 

restaurant offers private 


wine lockers for their 

frequent patrons. I won’t 

disclose all the celebrities 

whose names adorn the 

lockers, but I’ll say one 

goes by the nickname “The 

Governator”. 

I was already in heaven 

and dinner had not even 

begun. We had the great 

pleasure of meeting two 

of the owners, one being 

the head chef. I told him 

to bring us whatever 

he wanted. The rest of 

my party seemed a bit 

perplexed by this, but 

having written many dining 

reviews in my career, I 

found this request to be 

not only fun for me, but 

also exciting for the chefs 

as they get to prepare their 

favorite dishes – some of 

which I probably would not 

have ordered on my own. 

We began with their 

famous Abalone Bisque, a 

smooth bisque prepared 

with bacon, chives, 

and Madeira wine. This 

specialty was served 

at President Reagan’s 

Inauguration. Talk about 

historic. The bisque was 

followed by one of the 

day’s specials, a panseared 

sea scallop over 

foie gras. I’ll admit, I’m 

not a big fan of foie gras, 

but I do love scallops. 

They paired perfectly 

together. Next came one 

of the chef’s favorite 

dishes, Linguini Carbonara, 

homemade pasta prepared 

with Parmesan & Romano 

cheeses, egg, scallions, 

chives, pancetta, and black 

pepper. Growing up in New 

York, I had this dish many 

times, but this was the 

best I’ve ever had…and my 

favorite dish of the entire 

trip. 

Chef Cutino decided 

we’d not tried enough of 

his dishes, so he brought 

us his version of surf and 

turf which in this case was 

veal and lobster. To end 

the evening, he brought 

us delectable Chocolate 

Dipped Bonbons served 

over dry ice – which made 

for great Instagram photos 

and videos, in addition to 

his homemade Chocolate 

Kahlua Cinnamon gelato, 

and “The Factory” spumoni. 

I’m still dieting! 

It was the perfect way to 

end a much-needed vacation 

by the sea. Being by the 

water always relaxes me and 

of course, being surrounded 

by great people and great 

food never hurts either. 

Joey Amato is the founder and 

publisher of Pride Journeys, 

an LGBTQ travel website and a 

syndicated column. For more 

LGBTQ travel ideas, please visit 

www.pridejourneys.com. 


food+drink 

HOLIDAY 

TREATS 

’Tis the season for parties, friend and family gatherings, and it’s always 

good to have a go-to list of treats and drinks to serve or share. 

Here’s a roundup of must-haves that we love. 

HOT BUTTERED RUM 

A holiday favorite is spiced rum. Epicurious has a tasty 

version to try. 

Ingredients 

2 cups water 

1/2 stick (1/4 cup) unsalted butter 

1/4 cup packed dark brown sugar 

1 teaspoon cinnamon 

1/2 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg 

1/4 teaspoon ground cloves 

1/8 teaspoon salt 

2/3 cup dark rum 

Directions 

1. Bring water, butter, brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, 

cloves, and salt to a boil in a 1 1/2- to 2-quart saucepan over 

moderately high heat. 

2. Reduce heat and simmer, whisking occasionally, 10 minutes. 

3. Remove from heat and stir in rum. 

4. Serve hot. 

APPLE CRANBERRY SPRITZER 

For a non-alcoholic alternative, Town and Country 

suggests this mocktail from the Jekyll Island Club Resort. 

Ingredients 

Apple juice 

Cranberry juice 

Sprite 

Cranberries 

Rosemary 

Directions 

1. In a glass mix equal parts apple juice and 

cranberry juice. 

2. Add a dash of Sprite. 

3. Garnish with cranberries and a sprig of rosemary. 


EGGNOG 

Eggnog is a holiday classic and we like this 

version from Alton Brown. 

Ingredients 

4 egg yolks 

1/3 cup sugar, plus 1 tablespoon 

1 pint whole milk 

1 cup heavy cream 

3 ounces bourbon 

1 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg 

4 egg whites* 

Directions 

1. In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the 

egg yolks until they lighten in color. 

Gradually add the 1/3 cup sugar and 

continue to beat until it is completely 

dissolved. Add the milk, cream, bourbon 

and nutmeg and stir to combine. 

2. Place the egg whites in the bowl of a 

stand mixer and beat to soft peaks. With 

the mixer still running gradually add the 

1 tablespoon of sugar and beat until stiff 

peaks form. 

3. Whisk the egg whites into the mixture. 

Chill and serve. 

4. Cook’s Note: For cooked eggnog, follow 

procedure below. 

5. In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the 

egg yolks until they lighten in color. 

Gradually add the 1/3 cup sugar and 

continue to beat until it is completely 

dissolved. Set aside. 

6. In a medium saucepan, over high heat, 

combine the milk, heavy cream and 

nutmeg and bring just to a boil, stirring 

occasionally. Remove from the heat and 

gradually temper the hot mixture into 

the egg and sugar mixture. Then return 

everything to the pot and cook until the 

mixture reaches 160 degrees F. Remove 

from the heat, stir in the bourbon, pour 

into a medium mixing bowl, and set in 

the refrigerator to chill. 

7. In a medium mixing bowl, beat the egg 

whites to soft peaks. With the mixer 

running gradually add the 1 tablespoon 

of sugar and beat until stiff peaks form. 

Whisk the egg whites into the chilled 

mixture. 

*Consumption of raw or undercooked eggs, 

shellfish and meat may increase the risk of 

foodborne illness. 


CHRISTMAS COOKIE CHEESECAKE 

To satisfy your sweet tooth, try out this yummy dessert from the Food Network. No matter 

how the decorating goes this is sure to be a crowd-pleaser! 

Ingredients 

One 16.5-ounce tube store-bought sugar cookie dough 

Four 8-ounce packages of cream cheese, at room temperature 

2 cups granulated sugar 

1 cup sour cream 

2 tablespoons vanilla extract 

4 large eggs, at room temperature 

Red and green sprinkles, for decorating 

One 1-pound box confectioners’ sugar (about 4 cups) 

2 tablespoons meringue powder 

Red and green gel food coloring 

*Special equipment: two pastry bags fitted with small round tips 

Directions 

1. Position an oven rack in the middle of the oven and preheat to 350 degrees F. Press the 

cookie dough into the bottom of a 9-inch springform pan (use the bottom of a measuring 

cup to help spread it out and make it even). Bake until the cookie is set and golden brown, 

12 to 15 minutes. Let cool completely, about 30 minutes. Wrap the bottom and sides 

of the pan with a large piece of foil and put it in a large roasting pan. Reduce the oven 

temperature to 325 degrees F. 

2. Beat the cream cheese and granulated sugar together in a large bowl with an electric 

mixer on medium speed for 1 minute. Add the sour cream and vanilla and beat until just 

combined. Mix in the eggs by hand, one at a time, until just combined. (Take care not to 

overmix or the cheesecake will puff up and crack). Pour the batter into the springform 

pan. Add enough hot water to the roasting pan to come about halfway up the side of the 

springform pan. 

3. Bake until the outside of the cake is set but the center is still slightly loose, about 1 hour 

and 20 minutes. Turn the oven off and leave the cheesecake in the oven for another hour. 

Remove the cheesecake from the roasting pan to a cooling rack. Run a knife around the 

edge and cool to room temperature. Cover and refrigerate at least 8 hours. 

4. Run a knife around the edge of the pan once more and unlock to unmold the cheesecake. 

Transfer to a serving platter or cake stand and smooth the edges with a knife. Pat the 

Jimmie sprinkles into the sides of the cheesecake making sure not to cover the crust or 

get any on top. 

5. Whisk together the confectioners’ sugar and meringue powder in a large bowl. Add 

5 tablespoons water and beat with an electric mixer on medium-high speed until soft 

glossy peaks form, adding up to 1 more tablespoon water if necessary. 

6. Transfer about 1/2 cup of the royal icing to a pastry bag fitted with a small round tip. Thin 

the remaining icing with 1 teaspoon of water at a time until it is the consistency of syrup 

(you know you have reached the right consistency if you drizzle a bit of the icing and 

it sinks back into the icing within 8 to 10 seconds). Transfer 1 cup of the thinned icing in 

another pastry bag fitted with a small round tip. Divide the remaining batter between two 

small bowl and color one red and one green with the red and green gel food coloring. 

7. Use the thick white icing to pipe a large scalloped circle around the cake leaving a 3/4- 

inch border. Use the thinned white icing to fill the center of the scalloped circle. Use an 

offset spatula to spread the icing out so that it is smooth. Decorate with the colored icing 

while the white icing is still set. Chill the cake until the icing is set, at least 1 hour. 



health+wellness 

Traveling during the pandemic 

by Sydney Moxley 

Eight months ago, COVID-19 put the world on pause. As the 

realization that life as we knew it would change forever, the 

priority became staying at home as often as possible; travel 

was the last thing on our minds. Since then, there’ve been more 

than 220,000 deaths and over seven million cases in the United 

States alone, making it seem like air travel is as dangerous as ever. 

And if you’re brave enough to take a flight, your trip brings with it a 

certain stigma of recklessness, even despite precautions. 

I myself have taken four trips via air, as well as a few 

small road trips, since March, which may very well 

make me seem careless or ignorant of the pandemic 

ravaging the world right now. However, let me assure 

you that I’ve taken great care in my travels to keep 

myself and everyone else safe. With the holidays fast 

approaching, you may be wondering if flying could be 

possible for you now that regulations are being lifted. 

I believe that with the proper safety measures, travel, 

specifically air travel, can be possible for many. 

As a note of caution, this is a very personal decision 

that takes into consideration many factors, including 

age, pre existing conditions, duration of flights, 

accommodations while traveling, and much more. I 

can’t make any recommendations for anyone; I can 

only say what I’ve done and experienced. Please 

do what you personally feel is best when making 

the decision to fly this holiday season to keep you 

and your family safe and healthy. If you’re in doubt, 

consult with your physician. 

Safety at the Airport 

Because the pandemic has left many unwilling 

to fly, airports have become quite pleasant. 


Nashville International Airport (BNA), although 

still undergoing renovations, has been easy to 

navigate while practicing social distancing, and 

as a side note, the new Terminal D is very nice 

(RIP BNA carpet). At security, you’ll be asked to 

uncover your mouth to check against your picture 

ID, but that’s the only time you should remove 

your mask during the process. Be advised some 

dining is still closed, so keep that in mind as you’re 

planning meals. The good news is that you may 

need less time than normal to get through security 

and get to your gate, so plan accordingly. 

Many gates are practicing social distancing 

by blocking off every other chair. I found most 

people respected mask rules, except while eating 

and drinking. When boarding, the airlines called 

for smaller boarding groups than usual in order 

to stagger entrance onto the plane. Some airlines 

even board in reverse order in order to reduce 

people passing each other in the aisles. 

On the Flight 

My first few flights during COVID in July were 

the best flights of my life because of how empty 

they were! On the first flight, there were only 15 

people; the second flight had just 23. Since then, 

flights have been getting fuller as restrictions are 

starting to ease and people are becoming more 

comfortable. Some airlines intentionally leave the 

middle seat open when booking to keep social 

distancing measures while others book the entire 

plane. 

All airlines I’ve flown have mandated passengers 

wear their masks the entire time, except when 

eating or drinking. Speaking of which, what’s 

become of snack and beverage service, you may 

ask? It depends on the airline. Southwest gave out 

water and pretzels only; Delta passed out prepackaged 

snack bags, which included a bottle of 

water, chips, cookies, napkins and hand sanitizer. 

Other airlines do not offer any refreshments, but 

you can bring your own if you wish. Overall, I 

didn’t feel like anyone was taking advantage of 

this exception and I myself tried to pull my mask 

back up when chewing or between sips of water 

to be courteous to others. 

At Your Destination 

When you’re at your destination, you’ll find that 

not much has changed regarding social distancing 

and wearing masks. Although you should research 

your destination’s specific requirements, there’s 

generally not much difference in regulations, 

especially in larger cities. However, there are a 

few differences you may need to be aware of. For 

example, some states, such as Massachusetts, 

require either a two-week quarantine OR negative 

COVID-19 test results upon entering. Some cities 

require mask-wearing outdoors, while others 

do not. Some attractions may be open, while 

others might be closed. You’ll need to do your 

research beforehand in order to make sure 

your trip is safe and fun, and that there are no 

surprises that could jeopardize your trip. 

I think the strangest part of traveling during 

COVID is when cities don’t have as strict of 

rules as Nashville. For example, I went to a gun 

store with my mother in a small town in Texas, 

and we were the only ones wearing masks. 

This felt alarming to me! My advice in these 

situations is, do what you know is right, and 

don’t let laxer regulations or other’s disregard 

make you question that. Wear a mask, socially 

distance, use hand sanitizer and be cognizant 

of others, even when others aren’t. If anything, 

you should be peer-pressuring others to stay 

safe! 

If you are traveling to visit family, talk to them 

ahead of time about their comfort levels. Do 

they want to give hugs or would they rather 

give an elbow bump? Will you maintain six 

feet of distance the entire time? Will you wear 

masks indoors to protect elderly relatives? 

There are a lot of considerations to discuss 

before your arrival and planning them in 

advance will ease discomfort and ensure there 

are no awkward situations due to different 

expectations of contact. 

What to Pack 

There are some things I found particularly 

helpful when traveling, whether via plane or 

car. First, bring extra masks! Although you can 

find masks almost anywhere these days, I’d 

pack a couple of extras in your luggage in case 

you lose one and to swap out when dirty. Also, 

I love having hand sanitizer in my bag! I always 

feel good when I put it on after touching 

door handles or retrieving my luggage from 

baggage claim. Another wonderful thing I 

discovered were small packs of facial wipes. 

Wearing a mask can get hot, especially 

when running from one gate to another for a 

connection and facial wipes are a nice treat to 

have to clean your face and cool you down. 

Whether you are traveling by plane, train, 

or automobile this holiday season, it’s easier 

to stay safe and keep others safe than you 

may expect. As stated before, it’s a personal 

decision that only you and your family can 

make, but it’s a decision that you shouldn’t 

feel bad about with the right planning and 

precaution. I hope you all have a safe and 

enjoyable holiday season and that these tips 

can help you as you plan your future travels 

during this pandemic. 


pet focus 

® 


PAWS-ITIVLY 

PICTURE PERFECT 

Tips and Photo by H.N. James 

You can Google “pet photography tips” and get a range of 

responses, from authors who assume you have pro-gear to those 

who recommend using what you have, including a mobile phone 

camera. There are some things I do, though, that you can too — no matter 

what kind of camera you’re using or your photographic skill level. 

1 

Photograph your 

pet somewhere that 

they are comfortable, 

happy and relaxed. 

This may be a favorite 

outdoor location or 

somewhere in your house. 

Keep your pet’s personality 

in mind and photograph 

them doing their favorite 

activities. If they’re very 

curious, you can set up 

an exploration zone with 

interesting objects or treats 

in them. 

2 

Be relaxed yourself! 

And have patience. 

Spend some time 

playing with your 

pet, petting it, or wait until 

they’re just waking up from 

a nap and are sleepy. 

3 

Watch your 

background. Look 

around the location 

where you’re 

planning to photograph 

your pet and keep it as 

simple as possible. Doublecheck 

for objects and 

clutter in the background 

that you might not want 

in your photograph. 

Get down on their level. 

Photograph them at their 

eye level, which may require 

crouching or even lying 

down. 

4 

Use treats, toys 

and noises to get 

their attention. 

You might want 

a helper for this one. 

Someone can hold up a 

treat beside or behind you 

to get the pet’s attention. 

5Make sure the eyes 

are in focus — just 

as you would with 

a photograph of a 

human. There are several 

ways to do this and pets 

like to move around! One 

way is to get the focus 

where you want it, then 

grab the pet’s attention 

with treats, noises or a 

toy. This is another time a 

helper is useful. 

H is a music and portrait 

photographer living and 

working near Nashville. 

To see her work, visit 

punkrockphotography.net 


arts+entertainment 

WHO TO WATCH ON SCREEN 

By Romeo San Vicente | photo courtesy KathClick 

“Boys In The Band” star 

Robin de Jesús goes “Boom” 

What we love most in this life is a real 

queen, someone whose flashing discoball 

personality you can feel from miles away. 

And if you watched the recent Netflix 

update of “The Boys In The Band,” you 

saw “Camp” star Robin de Jesus, then 

you witnessed a queenly performance of 

extravagant proportions. Rooting for this 

three-time Tony nominated actor is one 

of our hobbies and we’re thrilled to see 

him included in the cast of the upcoming 

directorial debut from Lin-Manuel 

Miranda, “Tick, Tick… Boom!” Based on 

the semi-autobiographical stage musical 

from “Rent” creator Jonathan Larson, 

the story concerns an aspiring theater 

composer approaching 30 and despairing that he 

might not realize his dreams (no spoilers intended, but 

we’re going to assume it has a happy ending). The cast 

for this one is impressive: de Jesús is joined by Andrew 

Garfield, Alexandra Shipp, Vanessa Hudgens, Bradley 

Whitford and Judith Light. It’s all just getting underway 

right now, so maybe by the time it’s ready to hit a big 

screen… well, you know. 

Kaley Cuoco takes off in “The Flight Attendant” 

Like so many experiences with air travel, “The 

Flight Attendant” hit some pretty major turbulence. 

The new Kaley Cuoco-starring limited series based 

on the novel of the same name by Chris Bohjalian 

and executive produced by Greg Berlanti (“Love, 

Simon”), was in the middle of shooting its first 

season for HBO Max when the COVID shutdown 

began. Then in late August production resumed on 

the remaining episodes for a future air date. The 

story involves Cuoco’s flight attendant waking up in 

Dubai on a layover, with a hangover and a dead body 

lying next to her. Unable to remember the night 

before, she begins to think she might be the killer. 

We love a murder mystery and we also love it when 

a sitcom powerhouse changes up her career with 

something unsavory. The supporting cast includes 

Rosie Perez, Bebe Neuwirth, our favorite “Girls” girl 

Zosia Mamet and the return of T.R. Knight (“Grey’s 

Anatomy”). So we’ll be streaming along when this 

one finally arrives, later than expected, sometime in 

November. 

Tessa Thompson finds Jazz Age 

romance in “Sylvie’s Love” 

Cue up our enthusiasm for “Sylvie’s 

Love.” Written and directed by Eugene 

Ashe (director of the 2012 indie feature 

“Homecoming”), it stars queer fave 

Tessa Thompson and former NFL 

All-Pro player-turned-actor Nnamdi 

Asomugha as lovers in 1957 New York. 

She dreams of working in TV and 

he’s a struggling jazz saxophonist. 

When circumstances separate them 

and pull them in different directions, 

they become mutual “One(s) That Got 

Away.” Fast forward many years later 

to a reunion and one more chance 

for romance. The film co-stars Eva 

Longoria, Wendi McLendon-Covey 

(“The Goldbergs”), Aja Naomi King (“How To Get Away 

with Murder”), and Jemima Kirke (“Girls”). Amazon 

drops this one on Christmas Day, and with the period 

setting and the promise of that kind of only-in-themovies 

romance, it sounds like the perfect gift. 

Meet Sam Jay, Late Night Host 

It’s very possible you aren’t aware of Sam Jay. The 

Black lesbian stand-up comic has appeared on Netflix’s 

“The Comedy Lineup” and starred in her own Comedy 

Central special, before getting her own Netflix standup 

special in 2020, “Sam Jay: 3 in the Morning.” But in 

a world of too many TV choices, you might still have 

missed her. It’s more likely that you know her work as a 

writer on “Saturday Night Live” as the co-creator of the 

recurring sketch, “Black Jeopardy.” Well, you’ll soon 

be able to see her work on HBO as the host of an asyet-untitled 

late night series – one executive produced 

by “Insecure” showrunner Prentice Penny – where 

she’ll dissect culture and politics from her unique 

perspective. Currently, Peacock is streaming another 

late night format show hosted by a Black woman, “The 

Amber Ruffin Show,” which means all we need now 

is for another platform to do the same thing for this 

to become the trend it always should have been. For 

now at least it’s a welcome future disruption in the late 

night world of seemingly endless white dudes. Jay’s 

HBO bow takes place sometime in 2021. 

Romeo San Vicente, author of the bi-weekly column “Deep 

Inside Hollywood,” demands lesbian domination in all areas of 

entertainment. 


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Serving the Middle Tennessee LGBT + 

Community+its Allies | SEP+OCT 2020 

PET GUIDE 

TRAVEL, 

WORSHIP 

& RESCUES 

EVERYTHING 

YOU NEED TO 

KNOW 

BRENT 

SNYDER: 

CHASING THAT 

COUNTRY RAINBOW 

MAKING 

BLUE WAVES 

BRANDON THOMAS 

ON POLITICS, FAMILY 

SHARING 

THE LOVE 

NORMAN HANKS 

MAKING A DIFFERENCE 

ON AND OFF STAGE 

ISSUE

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2020 Issue 6 Nov/Dec - Focus Mid-Tenn Magazine

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