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2020 Issue 6 Nov/Dec - Focus Mid-Tenn Magazine

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®<br />

Serving the <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee LGBT +<br />

Community+its Allies | NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong><br />

CHRISTOPHER<br />

LESTER<br />

ON THE FUTURE OF<br />

CLIFTON+LEOPOLD<br />

OLIVIA HILL<br />

SHARES HER STORY<br />

SHELDON DIGGS<br />

MAC HUFFINGTON<br />

DR. ROBYN<br />

HENDERSON-<br />

ESPINOZA<br />

& MORE<br />

FROM OUR<br />

LIST


publisher’s message<br />

A Special<br />

Message From<br />

Our Publisher<br />

Cheers! Here’s to a wonderful holiday season! I’m<br />

ready for a New Year for sure. Aren’t you? What will<br />

2021 bring? I believe we will be getting back to normal<br />

or a new normal rather, but we need to take it one step<br />

at a time. However, make sure you’re wearing your<br />

mask, washing your hands, social distancing as much as<br />

possible and avoiding gatherings until we have a vaccine.<br />

Taking care of yourself<br />

mentally and physically is<br />

the best thing you can do for<br />

yourself in the New Year.<br />

This issue is meant for<br />

celebration. We celebrate<br />

people like Ernie Ratliff and<br />

his husband George Fenner<br />

for their adoptions of six<br />

young people needing love<br />

and a home.<br />

We celebrate Brianna Fearing for her courage to begin<br />

a support group for LGBT+ youth in rural Maury and<br />

Marshall Counties.<br />

And in our feature, we celebrate several honorees from<br />

our 40 Over 40 of <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee. While we couldn’t<br />

place them all in the issue, you will be able to find a<br />

complete listing on our website.<br />

We chose to do a 40 Over 40 issue because you indeed<br />

see so many other celebrations for younger people. That’s<br />

great! We celebrate them too! But, just because you’re<br />

over 40 doesn’t mean life stops as you will see when you<br />

read about all the greatness from these 40 people.<br />

No matter your age, I hope this issue brings comfort<br />

and inspiration to you. Never give up on your dreams.<br />

Always know that you are enough.<br />

Stay <strong>Focus</strong>ed!<br />

Ways you can support us<br />

As we continue to practice social distancing, we’re adding to our digital<br />

footprint. We’ve been sharing more content on our website, social media,<br />

and through our newsletter. We’re committed to educating, informing, and<br />

featuring folks in our community. Our focus is on our readers and how we<br />

serve our community now and in the future.<br />

We love you, <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee! Without your continued support, we<br />

wouldn’t be here. This is why we have a simple ask of you. Support us<br />

now, more than ever. But how do you support us? Well, we have lots of<br />

ways and most of them do not cost you a single cent.<br />

Here are ways you can support:<br />

• Visit Our Website – We have a great site that is full<br />

of YOUR stories. Rediscover a favorite today. Visit<br />

focusmidtenn.com.<br />

• Read Our Virtual <strong>Issue</strong>s – We have nearly 3 years of content<br />

visible digitally online. Visit focusmidtenn.com/virtualissue.<br />

• Share Our Content on Social Media – Like us on<br />

Facebook. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter. Comment<br />

on our posts. Share them. Engage with us. Tell us what you<br />

think!<br />

• Patronize Our Advertisers – These businesses are ones that<br />

support you. Support them!<br />

• Sign Up for our E-Newsletter – Be in-the-know and get<br />

our news delivered directly to your inbox! Sign up on our<br />

website (It’s at the very bottom of the main page) or click<br />

here.<br />

• Become a Contributor – Write<br />

for us. Send us photos. Share<br />

your stories with us. We want<br />

to show <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee and<br />

everyone else what we’re made<br />

of. Email editor@focusmidtenn.<br />

com.<br />

• Buy a tee from Rocketshirts!<br />

– We’ve been recognized<br />

as a small business that is<br />

#HereForGoodTN. If you’re<br />

not familiar with this fundraiser, you can purchase a<br />

shirt from Rocketshirts and designate us (be sure to select<br />

<strong>Focus</strong> <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee from the drop-down!) as the<br />

small business you want to support. For every shirt sold,<br />

we will receive $10 that we can apply to our operating<br />

costs. https://www.rocketshirts.net/pages/hereforgood<br />

• Buy a Subscription – For only $25 per year, you’ll receive<br />

6 print issues, delivered right to your mailbox. You’ll stay<br />

informed about the <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee LGBT+ community,<br />

and you’ll support local journalism.<br />

Thanks for being a friend of <strong>Focus</strong>. We’re proud to be the<br />

premier source of LGBT+ stories in <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee. With<br />

your support, we will get through this crisis together, and<br />

stronger than ever.<br />

CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 3


®<br />

PUBLISHER<br />

Ray Rico<br />

ASSOCIATE<br />

PUBLISHER<br />

Selena Haynes<br />

MANAGING EDITOR<br />

& DIGITAL MEDIA<br />

Lauren Means<br />

ADVERTISING<br />

Selena Haynes<br />

David Wyley Long<br />

DISTRIBUTION &<br />

SUBSCRIPTIONS<br />

Selena Haynes<br />

Lauren Means<br />

Randall Sloan<br />

Melissa Bean<br />

DESIGNERS<br />

Brian Goins<br />

Daphne Butler<br />

Joey Amato<br />

Sarah Rutledge Fischer<br />

Selena Haynes<br />

contributors<br />

H.N. James<br />

Lauren Means<br />

Sydney Moxley<br />

Romeo San Vicente<br />

Joe Woolley<br />

<strong>Focus</strong> ® <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee is all about LGBT+ people and their allies…their work, play, families, creativity, style,<br />

health and wealth, bodies and souls. Our focus is on you.<br />

<strong>Focus</strong> ® <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee is published bi-monthly and distributed free throughout the greater <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee<br />

area. <strong>Focus</strong> reserves the right to refuse to sell space for any advertisement the staff deems inappropriate for the<br />

publication. Press releases must be received by the first of the month for the following issue. All content of this<br />

magazine, including and without limitation to the design, advertisements, art, photos and editorial content, as well<br />

as the selection, coordination and arrangement thereof, is Copyright ©2017, <strong>Focus</strong> ® <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee. All Rights<br />

Reserved. No portion of this magazine may be copied or reprinted without the express written permission of the<br />

publisher. For a full list of our editorial and advertising policies, please visit focusmidtenn.com policies.<br />

PICK UP + GIVE FOCUS<br />

Pick up a copy of <strong>Focus</strong> ® <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee at 150+ locations near you. Check out<br />

focusmidtenn.com for the most up-to-date list of spots where the magazine is distributed. Want to carry <strong>Focus</strong> ® ?<br />

Call us at 615.603.6169 or email selena@focusmidtenn.com.<br />

Give a subscription to someone, or treat yourself. $25/year; subscribe on focusmidtenn.com.<br />

<strong>Focus</strong> ® <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee<br />

is published by<br />

Ray Rico Freelance, LLC<br />

2294 Young Avenue Memphis, TN, 38104<br />

focusmidtenn.com<br />

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Page 4 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!


NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong><br />

CONTENTS<br />

6 MUSIC<br />

Songs to add to your holiday<br />

queer playlist<br />

12 32<br />

7 THEME: CHEERS!<br />

8 DEAR ALLIE<br />

Being socially distant doesn’t<br />

have to feel lonely<br />

10 CHAMBER CHAT<br />

12 LIFE<br />

Christopher Lester talks the<br />

future of Clifton+Leopold<br />

16 COVER<br />

Highlights from our 40 Over 40<br />

list of people to know in <strong>2020</strong><br />

22 TRANSFOCUS<br />

Olivia Hill shares her story<br />

24 LIFE<br />

One family’s story of adoption<br />

and love<br />

26 YOUTH<br />

Brianna Fearing leads the<br />

charge for LGBT+ youth<br />

22<br />

28 FAITH & SPIRITUALITY<br />

Pastor Dawn Bennett leaves<br />

space at the Table for LGBT+<br />

spirituality<br />

30 COMMUNITY<br />

Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence<br />

shares its mission<br />

42<br />

28<br />

32 TRAVEL<br />

Joey Amato visits<br />

Monterey, California<br />

36 FOOD+DRINK<br />

Holiday drinks to serve<br />

40 HEALTH+WELLNESS<br />

Safety tips for traveling<br />

during the pandemic<br />

42 PET FOCUS<br />

Pet photography tips<br />

44 ARTS+ENTERTAINMENT<br />

Interesting LGBT+ shows<br />

45 DIRECTORY OF SERVICES<br />

CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 5


music<br />

ADD SOME QUEER<br />

TO YOUR HOLIDAY CHEER<br />

If you are looking to add some cheer to your holiday playlist, check out<br />

these holiday songs by some of our favorite artists!<br />

“MAKE IT JINGLE”<br />

BIG FREEDIA<br />

“MARY, DID YOU KNOW?”<br />

PENTATONIX<br />

“HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY<br />

LITTLE CHRISTMAS”<br />

SAM SMITH<br />

“ALL I WANT FOR<br />

CHRISTMAS IS YOU”<br />

MARIAH CAREY<br />

“HEY SIS, IT’S CHRISTMAS”<br />

RUPAUL<br />

(FEAT. MARKAHOLIC)<br />

Page 6 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!


theme<br />

Cheers<br />

“Accept no one’s definition of<br />

your life; define yourself.”<br />

—HARVEY FIERSTEIN<br />

CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 7


life<br />

DEAR<br />

WINK<br />

Dear Allie,<br />

I’ve been a good boy and have been<br />

home safe and solo during quarantine.<br />

Let me tell you, it has gotten boring<br />

and lonely. I miss hanging out with my<br />

friends, flirting, even going on dates.<br />

Aside from video chats and phone calls,<br />

it is hard for a gay guy to date in the life<br />

of the ‘Rona. I don’t really like the apps<br />

and find myself going down endless<br />

chats and no-gos. Got any tips?<br />

Yours,<br />

Missing a Wink from a Stranger<br />

Dear WINK,<br />

You may be alone, but you are<br />

certainly not alone in this struggle.<br />

The social isolation that has been a<br />

necessary response to Ms. ‘Rona has<br />

been especially hard on people who live<br />

alone. So, let’s explore some of what<br />

you are probably missing from those<br />

fun, flirty nights and see if we can keep<br />

you going until Ms. ‘Rona is long gone.<br />

COVID-19<br />

BEING ALONE<br />

DOESN’T HAVE<br />

TO FEEL LONELY<br />

by Sarah Rutledge Fischer<br />

One of the things you are probably missing more<br />

than you realize is conversation with strangers. As a<br />

culture, we tend to discount casual interactions with<br />

strangers, deeming them awkward, but studies show<br />

that short interactions with strangers leave people<br />

feeling happier and more connected. You may be<br />

spending more time at home these days, but when<br />

you do go out, put away your phone and talk with the<br />

people around you. Even if it feels awkward, it might<br />

also leave you feeling less isolated for the rest of the<br />

day.<br />

And speaking of connections with strangers,<br />

spontaneity is probably something you are missing<br />

in your dating life these days. Online dating has<br />

advantages, but browsing a profile lacks the<br />

mystery and excitement of meeting the eye of an<br />

attractive stranger across the bar. One<br />

entertaining, if unpredictable, way to satisfy the<br />

need for an occasional sexy flirtation is to use one<br />

of the global video chat services like Omeagle or<br />

Chatroulette. Both of these services have a welldeserved<br />

reputation for unsolicited sexual content<br />

(Allie encountered three, ahem, eggplants before<br />

enjoying a flirty conversation with a very<br />

attractive and fully clothed Frenchman.), so user<br />

beware.<br />

Page 8 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC SEP+OCT <strong>2020</strong> / WAG CHEERS!


Once you’ve had your fill of random video<br />

contacts, you might want to return to your online<br />

dating options to seek real connection. When<br />

you’re online dating, the endless chats can all start<br />

to feel the same. So instead of staying on the<br />

surface, try going deep. Once you’ve decided that<br />

you might click with someone, instead of the usual<br />

questions and awkward flirtations, propose asking<br />

each other the famous 36 questions set forth by<br />

psychologist Arthur Aron (https://nyti.<br />

ms/30Nhkim). Designed to be answered in order<br />

by two people sitting face to face, the questions<br />

begin light and build in intensity, with the goal of<br />

encouraging vulnerability and building intimacy. It<br />

might go nowhere, but it will certainly be more<br />

interesting than the usual dating app chat.<br />

Now, the last topic is a bit touchy. Okay, very<br />

touchy. Okay, it’s touch—physical touch. Gentle<br />

physical touch does a ton of good for our bodies<br />

and minds—from lowering the effects of stress to<br />

triggering the release of oxytocin and cortisol.<br />

Touch deprivation, which can result from long<br />

periods of not being touched, can result in<br />

increased feelings of anxiety and depression,<br />

difficulty sleeping, and heightened stress.<br />

But what can you do when touching someone<br />

who isn’t already a part of your immediate circle is<br />

dangerous? You give yourself the sensations of<br />

touch that your body needs. For sexual touch, this<br />

means that when you masturbate, rather than<br />

falling into your regular routine, slow down and<br />

pay attention to the sensations of your skin.<br />

Outside of sexual touch, even taking time to<br />

mindfully rub a gentle hand across your own arm<br />

or down your own neck can trigger the<br />

physiological benefits of touch. (According to a<br />

2017 study, the ideal touching speed is between 3<br />

and 5 centimeters per second.) Mindfulness of<br />

touch sensations can also help--pay attention to<br />

the feeling of your foot against the ground or the<br />

coolness of water as it flows down your throat.<br />

Embrace other tactile comforts such as a taking a<br />

hot bath, using a weighted blanket, or snuggling<br />

with a pet.<br />

None of this is a substitute for the joy of<br />

spending time out in the world with beloved<br />

friends and attractive strangers. But for now, it just<br />

might get you through until Ms. ‘Rona is gone. At<br />

the very least, it should get you started.<br />

Your friend,<br />

Allie<br />

To submit your own question, email Allie at<br />

Allie@focusmidsouth.com. <strong>Focus</strong> <strong>Mid</strong>-South reserves<br />

the right to edit letters for length and clarity.<br />

Feeling Excluded?<br />

Find a place<br />

with<br />

us<br />

OPEN TABLE<br />

CHRISTIAN CHURCH<br />

DISCIPLES OF CHRIST<br />

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1130 HALEY RD. | MURFREESBORO, TN 37129<br />

OPENTABLECHRISTIANCHURCH.ORG<br />

Be<br />

PrEPared.<br />

Learn more about<br />

HIV prevention at<br />

Planned Parenthood.<br />

866.711.1717<br />

PlannedParenthood.org/<strong>Tenn</strong>essee


usiness<br />

OUR MEMBER BENEFITS WILL HAVE<br />

YOU SAYING “CHEERS!”<br />

The Nashville LGBT<br />

Chamber continues<br />

advocating, educating, and<br />

connecting for our members,<br />

the LGBT+ community and<br />

Nashville as a whole in the<br />

uncertain business climate<br />

created by COVID-19. We<br />

know every business and<br />

person, from our corporate<br />

members down to our<br />

small businesses and gigworkers,<br />

to our networking<br />

members and followers, all<br />

have been affected and are<br />

hurting more and more as<br />

the pandemic wears on. We<br />

want you to know we’re here<br />

for YOU.<br />

Our membership and<br />

programming remains open<br />

to everyone during these<br />

times. Please join us at any<br />

of our events and sign up to<br />

get the information we can<br />

connect you to. Take a look<br />

at some of the things we’ve<br />

been working on below.<br />

Thanks to <strong>Focus</strong> for<br />

letting us highlight<br />

our work and our<br />

members!<br />

Be a Member<br />

and<br />

Find our<br />

Members<br />

We’ve proudly<br />

added several new<br />

businesses and individuals<br />

to our membership, even<br />

during the pandemic.<br />

A great way to support<br />

the LGBT+ community<br />

during a difficult time is to<br />

frequent chamber member<br />

businesses. A full list of<br />

members and certified<br />

LGBT-owned businesses<br />

can be found on our website<br />

directory. Also, look for<br />

by Joe Woolley | photo courtesy of Nashville LGBT Chamber of Commerce<br />

our OPEN and EQUAL<br />

membership sticker on<br />

windows and next to cash<br />

registers when you’re out<br />

shopping.<br />

In honor of the theme for<br />

this month’s issue, we’re<br />

celebrating our members<br />

who make you want to say<br />

“CHEERS”!<br />

• Diskin Cider - Nashville’s<br />

first and only craft cidery.<br />

We’re proud to partner<br />

with Diskin throughout the<br />

year at drag brunches and<br />

special release events for<br />

ciders like Daydream that<br />

benefit the chamber.<br />

• B&B Beverage<br />

Management<br />

- Food &<br />

beverage<br />

management<br />

company<br />

comprised<br />

of hospitality<br />

solutions for<br />

weddings, tailgates,<br />

festivals and sporting<br />

events. B&B did a live<br />

cocktail demonstration at<br />

our August PM Brewing<br />

Up Business!<br />

• Tito’s Vodka and Jeptha<br />

Creed Distillery - These<br />

businesses sponsor several<br />

events each year including<br />

TASTE Nashville and Pride<br />

in Local Music!<br />

• Restaurants and Bars -<br />

Share a toast with any of<br />

these excellent members!<br />

If your business fits this<br />

category and you’re not<br />

listed, please consider<br />

joining our chamber<br />

and taking advantage of<br />

membership perks. We<br />

want to help you promote<br />

and grow your business!<br />

If you’re interested in<br />

joining the chamber,<br />

visit our website at<br />

nashvilleLGBTchamber.<br />

org to learn more about<br />

membership levels and<br />

benefits.<br />

Stopping the spread<br />

and keeping the virus<br />

numbers down<br />

New cases are rising<br />

and we need to stop this<br />

surge so we can protect<br />

our economy. Please<br />

remember: Masks. Stay<br />

apart. Wash hands. And –<br />

get a flu shot. Thank you for<br />

being part of the solution.<br />

We will beat this virus.<br />

NashvilleHealth and<br />

community partners,<br />

including the chamber,<br />

launched #MaskForNash<br />

or #ÚselaPorNash, a<br />

community-wide effort<br />

to encourage citizens to<br />

care for our hometown by<br />

wearing a mask or cloth face<br />

covering when in public.<br />

We’re also a partner in<br />

MORE INFO<br />

To learn more about<br />

Joe Woolley and the<br />

Nashville LGBT Chamber<br />

of Commerce, please visit<br />

nashvillelgbtchamber.org.<br />

the #MaskNowPartyLater<br />

campaign, a collective of<br />

event creators, vendors,<br />

teams, venues, athletes<br />

and artists who are rallying<br />

together to create change.<br />

Help us have concerts and<br />

more again in Music City as<br />

soon as possible by wearing<br />

your mask and following<br />

CDC guidelines!<br />

The chamber is a<br />

proud participant in and<br />

encourages members to<br />

be part of the Good to<br />

Go Program, a hospitality<br />

safety program created by<br />

the Nashville Convention<br />

& Visitors Corp to help<br />

businesses in every industry<br />

implement health and safety<br />

guidelines.<br />

Website Resources to<br />

COVID-19<br />

We’re pleased to announce<br />

our new and improved<br />

website and member<br />

portal! These upgrades<br />

will help members and the<br />

community find information<br />

and communicate with each<br />

other. If you haven’t visited<br />

our website in a while, check<br />

out the new features!<br />

We created a COVID-19<br />

resources page that shares<br />

news and information our<br />

members need to know. The<br />

page includes:<br />

A webinar section is there<br />

to connect our members<br />

to the countless webinars<br />

our community partners are<br />

putting out.<br />

Page 10 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!


Stay informed with news<br />

releases and information<br />

keeping you updated<br />

on news related to the<br />

coronavirus and the<br />

response to it.<br />

Directories were created<br />

that highlights members<br />

that offer takeout, or<br />

members that have<br />

changed their business to<br />

offer their product in a new<br />

way.<br />

Our Hot Deals section<br />

is full with specials to<br />

other members and the<br />

community on a number<br />

of items. Check<br />

them out and<br />

support our<br />

members that<br />

are open and<br />

equal! This<br />

information can<br />

be found on<br />

our social media as well (@<br />

nashlgbtcc).<br />

The Rainbow Connection<br />

We’re excited to expand<br />

our virtual programming with<br />

the Rainbow Connection.<br />

Each month we offer two<br />

networking events, a member<br />

highlight session and an<br />

educational opportunity. This<br />

series helps our members<br />

and community stay<br />

connected and informed<br />

while we navigate the “new<br />

normal.”<br />

Network Connect is<br />

just that, our networking<br />

events for you to connect<br />

to others for business<br />

or personal needs. To<br />

complement our traditional<br />

PM Brewing Up Business,<br />

we now offer additional<br />

morning networking<br />

opportunities, AM Brewing<br />

Up Business. These events<br />

include a short program of<br />

announcements from our<br />

chamber’s staff and then<br />

small group networking.<br />

Member Connect gives<br />

an in-depth highlight<br />

of one of our corporate<br />

members and one of our<br />

small business members.<br />

There is a Q&A session<br />

and members have the<br />

opportunity to talk about<br />

what they’re working<br />

on, questions or issues<br />

they need help with or<br />

anything else they want<br />

to address.<br />

Classroom Connect is<br />

designed to help LGBT+<br />

and allied business<br />

owners expand their<br />

entrepreneurial skill set<br />

with educational webinars<br />

that connect participants<br />

to trusted experts. The<br />

Classroom Connect Series<br />

is made possible thanks<br />

to HCA Healthcare/<br />

TriStar Health, who joined<br />

as the title sponsor of<br />

the Classroom Connect<br />

Series. Click here for our<br />

<strong>2020</strong>/2021 schedule.<br />

Our virtual programs will<br />

continue even after the<br />

crisis subsides, in addition<br />

to resuming in-person<br />

events, such as advocating<br />

against discrimination at<br />

the state capitol, rainbow<br />

ribbon-cuttings and events.<br />

We can’t wait to see people<br />

in person! If you need<br />

assistance or are interested<br />

in learning more about<br />

what we do, we’d love to<br />

hear from you. Visit our<br />

website for more details on<br />

these programs.<br />

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Equity has been our focus<br />

from the tornado recovery to the COVID-19<br />

response, access to assistance and support<br />

does not look the same for all businesses and<br />

communities. We are dedicated to an inclusive<br />

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CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 11


life<br />

LIVING HIS<br />

BEST LIFE<br />

Page 12 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!


Christopher Lester talks past, present<br />

and future of Clifton+Leopold<br />

by Lauren Means | photo by <strong>Tenn</strong>essee Photographs<br />

No one could have expected <strong>2020</strong> to turn out the way it has.<br />

If we had a crystal ball to see the future, no business would<br />

have planned to launch this year. No one knows this better<br />

than Christopher Lester. A vision that started to come to fruition in<br />

October 2018 had a launch date of May <strong>2020</strong>. A brand focused on<br />

dressing up to go out now had to deal with a quarantine culture.<br />

Christopher lets us in on how his brand came to be and gives<br />

advice for anyone looking to take a leap of faith on their own ideas.<br />

Tell us a little about<br />

yourself so our readers<br />

can get to know you.<br />

My name is Christopher<br />

Lester and while not a<br />

Nashville native, I’ve called<br />

the city home for over<br />

two decades. I’ve spent<br />

the better part of the<br />

last decade working in<br />

the digital marketing and<br />

brand storytelling space<br />

and currently work with<br />

companies to help them<br />

leverage email and social<br />

media to tell a better story.<br />

I’ve always been a serial<br />

entrepreneur and enjoy<br />

the excitement of taking<br />

an idea and nurturing<br />

it into reality. Prior to<br />

Clifton+Leopold, I had<br />

the privilege of working<br />

at Emma Email Marketing<br />

where I served as the VP<br />

of Sales. It was here that<br />

I learned to dream big,<br />

work hard and lose the<br />

fear — all tools that have<br />

aided me in the launch of<br />

Clifton+Leopold and gave<br />

me the courage to say out<br />

loud “I’m going to launch<br />

an apparel manufacturing<br />

company in the United<br />

States during a global<br />

pandemic” and not feel<br />

crazy.<br />

Outside of my daily life, I<br />

serve on the Nashville LGBT<br />

Chamber’s board where<br />

I have the opportunity to<br />

work alongside some of the<br />

smartest and most driven<br />

people I know. I’ve led the<br />

marketing committee for<br />

the last five years where<br />

I had the privilege to<br />

serve with two amazing<br />

CEOs, lead a complete<br />

rebranding and help create<br />

the 20th-anniversary video<br />

— a project that I’m deeply<br />

proud of.<br />

I am a lover of the arts<br />

and love living in a city<br />

that values them. I grew<br />

up in Cincinnati, Ohio<br />

and some of my earliest<br />

memories were of going<br />

to the theatre, symphony<br />

and ballet. As we continue<br />

to deal with the fall out<br />

of COVID and the toll it is<br />

taking on these things I<br />

hold so dear, my goal is to<br />

find opportunities to plugin<br />

even more and help these<br />

irreplaceable institutions<br />

continue in our great city.<br />

I am the father of the<br />

most amazing 16-year-old<br />

Weimaraner named Olive<br />

and share a home with<br />

her in East Nashville. She<br />

reminds me every day to<br />

be thankful for waking up,<br />

to make the most of the<br />

sunshine on a cool day<br />

and to not ever feel bad<br />

for taking a nap when the<br />

mood hits.<br />

Why Clifton+Leopold? Is<br />

there a story behind the<br />

brand?<br />

For the “short”<br />

version we share with<br />

everyone, you can find<br />

the Clifton+Leopold origin<br />

story here, but just for the<br />

<strong>Focus</strong> audience, I am happy<br />

to share a little of a “behind<br />

the scenes” story.<br />

When I was early in the<br />

development process,<br />

everyone kept asking what I<br />

wanted to call the company<br />

— a step that I sort of<br />

jumped over because<br />

working through how to<br />

manufacture apparel in the<br />

U.S. was a much bigger<br />

challenge than what to<br />

name a company. But, the<br />

name thing was the first<br />

question on everyone’s<br />

mind.<br />

I knew from the start that<br />

I wanted a “something and<br />

something” name and I<br />

really wanted to use classic<br />

quintessential British names<br />

if I could make it work. I<br />

began researching names<br />

and filling them in on the<br />

chalkboard wall in my<br />

dining room.<br />

Clifton was the first<br />

CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 13


name that made sense.<br />

As I mentioned before,<br />

I was born and raised in<br />

Cincinnati, Ohio. More<br />

importantly, the hospital<br />

where I was born is in the<br />

Clifton neighborhood of<br />

Cincinnati. Clifton was<br />

literally where I got my<br />

start.<br />

Leopold means a “brave<br />

man or brave one” and if<br />

I was going to do this it<br />

would take a fair amount of<br />

bravery and a good dose of<br />

vodka every now and then.<br />

But at the core I do feel like<br />

a brave man, so Leopold<br />

really resonated with me.<br />

Finally, when you take<br />

their initials, they are the<br />

same as mine. This was<br />

something that wasn’t<br />

obvious until the first time<br />

I wrote the names together<br />

but none-the-less an<br />

impactful moment when I<br />

did. It felt kismet in nature!<br />

Here was a way for me to<br />

infuse myself in the brand<br />

without being the brand.<br />

How was the experience<br />

starting your business<br />

during a pandemic?<br />

This is probably the<br />

question I get the most<br />

and every time I start my<br />

response the same way. “It<br />

makes for one hell of an<br />

origin story.” It also feels<br />

totally on-brand for us. One<br />

of our mission statements<br />

and a mantra we openly<br />

share with our community<br />

is — Live Your Best Life.<br />

And to live your best life,<br />

you have to take risks.<br />

I’m super lucky to have<br />

so many amazing family<br />

members, friends and<br />

colleagues around me.<br />

Anytime I lack clarity, they<br />

are quick to loan me their<br />

strength and help me<br />

refocus and get back on<br />

track. The launch was no<br />

different.<br />

I actually started working<br />

on Clifton+Leopold in<br />

October of 2018. That’s<br />

when we created the LLC.<br />

It wasn’t long after that<br />

I started talking about<br />

it with a small group of<br />

friends and family. It is also<br />

when I finally sat down and<br />

created a long list of things<br />

that had to happen to make<br />

it real.<br />

I was determined that<br />

we would make 100% of<br />

our products here in the<br />

U.S. That conviction alone<br />

would take over a year<br />

to answer. There was so<br />

much to do and looking<br />

back I know there were<br />

times I could have moved<br />

faster (hello to the five<br />

weeks I took to decide on<br />

the perfect shipping box).<br />

That said, like all things,<br />

the timing was playing<br />

out exactly how it was<br />

supposed to.<br />

So there we were in<br />

February <strong>2020</strong> working<br />

through our final six-week<br />

launch plan. Then COVID hit.<br />

My first thought was<br />

there was no way we could<br />

launch during COVID. I<br />

mean, our entire premise is<br />

about people going out and<br />

getting dressed up.<br />

This is why it’s so<br />

important to surround<br />

yourself with people who<br />

aren’t afraid to challenge<br />

you. And believe me, that is<br />

what my friends did — in all<br />

the best ways.<br />

By the time our official<br />

launch day came on May<br />

1, I knew they were right.<br />

I’d spent a lifetime building<br />

a network of amazing<br />

humans who were there to<br />

support me. And support<br />

they did. They made<br />

purchases, shared our<br />

posts, told their friends and<br />

showed up. A statement<br />

Christopher is<br />

wearing Tie:<br />

Montgomery,<br />

Pocket: Hazel, and<br />

Silk Lapel Pin<br />

by Clifton+Leopold<br />

that is as true today as it<br />

was on that Friday morning.<br />

Now here we sit finishing<br />

up month six and I couldn’t<br />

be more thankful! It has been<br />

a crazy ride but also the best<br />

thing I’ve ever done.<br />

If you could go back<br />

through the startup<br />

process, is there anything<br />

you would do differently?<br />

This is easy! I would enjoy<br />

it more.<br />

Starting a company and<br />

giving all your energy to<br />

a new idea is hard. It’s<br />

daunting. It’s scary. And<br />

in more ways than anyone<br />

who has never done it can<br />

understand — it’s lonely!<br />

I can’t say that enough...<br />

it’s lonely! And that makes<br />

sense, right? So much<br />

of the process is in your<br />

head and underbaked or<br />

unrealized yet so it’s hard<br />

to share.<br />

Page 14 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!


It’s consuming and can<br />

steal away so much of your<br />

energy. I remember when<br />

I first started working on<br />

Clifton+Leopold I did 100%<br />

of the work in my dining<br />

room. Big mistake! There<br />

was no longer the ability to<br />

have friends over for dinner.<br />

There was no way to get up<br />

in the middle of the night<br />

to snag a drink of water<br />

without passing all the<br />

work hanging on the wall<br />

that had yet to be finished.<br />

There was no distinction<br />

between my personal space<br />

and this project that was<br />

quickly consuming me.<br />

The key to fixing all of this<br />

turned out to be SHARE<br />

MORE! It didn’t matter if I<br />

didn’t have it all figured out<br />

or know all the answers,<br />

smart people didn’t need<br />

that. They were more than<br />

happy to plug in and help<br />

me figure it out. It didn’t<br />

matter if I didn’t know how<br />

I was going to use that<br />

incredible fabric I just found<br />

or that I had spent two<br />

weeks trying to figure out<br />

the exact Pantone color<br />

for the tissue paper in the<br />

shipping box. My friends<br />

and supporters were<br />

thrilled to play a part.<br />

So I would say to anyone<br />

who is working on a similar<br />

project right now, open<br />

it up to the right people.<br />

Define that core group of<br />

people you trust and give<br />

them all the information<br />

they need to be helpful and<br />

then ask for help. For me,<br />

it was helpful when they<br />

would just ask “How do I<br />

help? What do you need?<br />

Give me the latest update?”<br />

You don’t have to have<br />

it all figured out. You<br />

just have to know what’s<br />

important for your brand<br />

and where you want to end<br />

up. From there the right<br />

people can help speed you<br />

LEARN<br />

MORE<br />

Visit<br />

Clifton+Leopold<br />

online.<br />

up or even land you in a<br />

better place.<br />

What is the future of<br />

Clifton+Leopold? Will<br />

we see different types of<br />

accessories or whole new<br />

branches of fashion?<br />

I don’t really know the full<br />

answer here because it isn’t<br />

really up to me. I’ve done<br />

my part and will continue<br />

to do my part but it is the<br />

Clifton+Leopold community<br />

that will help determine<br />

where we go ultimately.<br />

Now, we know we’ll<br />

continue to grow and add<br />

to our product lines. In<br />

my mind, Clifton+Leopold<br />

has always been a lifestyle<br />

brand and that will always<br />

shape who we are and<br />

take us in new product<br />

line directions. That’s why<br />

we launched our very own<br />

candle line last month.<br />

You’ll continue to see little<br />

twists like that. We want<br />

people to say “oh that<br />

is so Clifton+Leopold.”<br />

But ultimately we want<br />

the people who love<br />

Clifton+Leopold to play a<br />

role in helping us shape the<br />

future. And that’s exactly<br />

what’s been happening.<br />

Anything else you would<br />

like to add?<br />

Nashville is a wonderfully<br />

odd city. The support<br />

and willingness to help<br />

each other in our business<br />

community is rare. I<br />

couldn’t imagine launching<br />

Clifton+Leopold in any<br />

other city. EVERYONE in<br />

Nashville is trying to figure<br />

out how to help each<br />

other out, especially in the<br />

LGBTQ community.<br />

So I would challenge<br />

anyone thinking of turning<br />

their passion into a business<br />

to reach out to as many<br />

people as possible, buy<br />

them coffee and then pick<br />

their brain.<br />

Join the LGBT Chamber<br />

of Commerce, it’s an<br />

incredible resource and<br />

sponsors some great<br />

networking opportunities.<br />

The resources are helpful<br />

but the people you’ll meet<br />

are invaluable.<br />

Get plugged in and then<br />

spend 30% of your time<br />

helping out someone else<br />

on their journey. Rising<br />

water raises all boats.<br />

CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 15


SHELDON DIGGS (HE/HIM)<br />

Sheldon has been feeding the<br />

homeless for years. He started out<br />

in his own kitchen to bring a car full<br />

of food to the park by the library in<br />

downtown Nashville. This lead to the<br />

program called #StreetTeamLegal<br />

which began in July 2017. This<br />

has since become Souls United, a<br />

registered non-profit corporation<br />

established in September 2017.<br />

Now, the First Evangelical Lutheran<br />

Church houses Souls United every<br />

Wednesday in their Dining Hall,<br />

complete with a commercial kitchen.<br />

He helps arrange resources, homes,<br />

jobs for people when he can, but the<br />

core of what he does is providing<br />

amazing food and company to<br />

people who have gone through so<br />

much in life. He helps partner with<br />

other organizations to get people<br />

showers, haircuts, clothes, blankets,<br />

and more. He truly fights for the<br />

homeless and has this uncanny ability<br />

to recruit people to help him — even<br />

if they have never done anything for<br />

charity in their life.<br />

Sheldon is wearing<br />

Bow Tie: Bianca by<br />

Clifton+Leopold<br />

Page 16 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!


OUR <strong>2020</strong> OF PEOPLE TO KNOW:<br />

40 over 40<br />

Who says life stops after 40?<br />

by Lauren Means | photos courtesy <strong>Tenn</strong>essee Photographs<br />

We, at FMT, had the pleasure of learning about so many people over the past few<br />

months. Several, we already knew, but certainly still learned quite a bit. While we<br />

couldn’t place everyone in the magazine, we are creating a web page that will<br />

showcase all 40 individuals that were nominated and chosen to be recognized as one of<br />

the top 40 Over 40 people in <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee. We’re proud of their accomplishments<br />

and can only hope that we can achieve a fraction of what they have.<br />

RUSS ARNOLD (HE/HIM)<br />

Russ founded Shower The<br />

People, a nonprofit that provides<br />

mobile showers and hygiene<br />

supplies to individuals<br />

in need. Russ drives<br />

the bus that has been<br />

transformed into the<br />

mobile shower facility<br />

to different locations<br />

throughout Nashville<br />

providing showers<br />

to those folks living<br />

on the streets or in<br />

encampments. Russ<br />

has poured blood and<br />

sweat into the bus in<br />

order to be able to<br />

provide showers to<br />

those in need.<br />

Russ is out late at night, in the<br />

cold, rain, snow and the heat of<br />

summer to ensure that the bus<br />

is at the shower locations when<br />

promised. When the bus is having<br />

work completed, Russ drives a<br />

van to shower locations to pick<br />

up folks and drives them to a<br />

local church to shower so that<br />

our shower guests are still able to<br />

access the same resources every<br />

week. Without Russ, hundreds of<br />

individuals would have gone weeks<br />

without access to a hot shower,<br />

clean clothes and hygiene supplies.<br />

STEPHANIE (STEPH) BALLOU<br />

(SHE/HER)<br />

Steph was born and raised<br />

in Gallatin, <strong>Tenn</strong>essee and<br />

went to Hendersonville High.<br />

Steph is a fierce competitor<br />

with a huge drive. In her early<br />

years, she swam for Nashville<br />

Aquatic Club which led to a<br />

swim scholarship at George<br />

Washington University where<br />

she narrowly missed out on the<br />

Olympic qualifying time.<br />

Steph works for Alliance<br />

Bernstein (AB) and has made a<br />

huge impact in Nashville. Steph<br />

is the co-chair of the AB Out<br />

group taking a leadership role in<br />

integrating AB and Nashville. Her<br />

biggest task has been bringing<br />

AB to the forefront in Nashville<br />

Pride. During the Coronavirus<br />

she has led many<br />

‘happy hour’ zoom<br />

meetings for people<br />

to connect and just<br />

simply converse.<br />

Steph recently<br />

accepted a<br />

board role for<br />

the Nashville<br />

LGBT Chamber of<br />

Commerce taking<br />

an active part in the<br />

chamber business.<br />

DAWN BENNETT (SHE/HER)<br />

It wasn’t her plan to go to<br />

seminary in her 50s and<br />

begin life over as an ordained<br />

pastor. She has lived in <strong>Mid</strong>dle<br />

<strong>Tenn</strong>essee since the mid-’90s<br />

and has seen all too much harm<br />

from religion-based trauma,<br />

especially to LGBTQ+ youth and<br />

families. It was time to make a<br />

change and answer the call.<br />

She says it’s an honor to serve<br />

and she’s excited to participate<br />

in changing the face of our<br />

faith community — “As I serve<br />

I get to love on lots of folks, do<br />

what I can to repair the breach<br />

and build some<br />

new bridges<br />

to a happier,<br />

healthier and<br />

more affirming<br />

culture for our<br />

most vulnerable<br />

voices.”<br />

Pastor Dawn<br />

now runs The<br />

Table, a faith<br />

collective that<br />

promotes spiritual<br />

well-being for<br />

LGBTQIA+ and<br />

minority people groups in<br />

the exploration of self, faith,<br />

community and the deeper<br />

issues of being and belonging.<br />

CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 17


JEFF SWAFFORD (HE/HIM)<br />

In 2019, Jeff founded a nonprofit<br />

called Nashville Street Project<br />

which hires homeless people to<br />

clean up the streets of Nashville.<br />

Since it started last August, they<br />

have cleaned up over 8000 pounds<br />

of trash off the streets — and he is<br />

out there every week picking up<br />

trash alongside them because he<br />

doesn’t ask them to do anything he<br />

won’t do himself.<br />

Beyond giving them a job, he also<br />

makes sure they have what they<br />

need, especially in cold weather.<br />

He has given them tents, sleeping<br />

bags, clothes and food. He also<br />

takes them out to lunch on a regular<br />

basis as well as trips to the movies.<br />

In addition to the Nashville Street<br />

Project, he co-founded another<br />

nonprofit with a group of friends<br />

called Feed The Need Nashville.<br />

They serve lunch each Wednesday<br />

to the homeless in downtown<br />

Nashville at McKendree United<br />

Methodist Church. They also assist<br />

in getting IDs, replacement social<br />

security cards and birth certificates<br />

that are so important in getting jobs<br />

and housing.<br />

He said that he never saw<br />

himself doing this when he moved<br />

to Nashville but working with<br />

homeless people has changed his<br />

heart and he has truly found what<br />

he was meant to do.<br />

NEYDER MCDONALD (HE/HIM)<br />

Volunteering has been a<br />

passion of Neyder’s since<br />

he was 16 years old. His first<br />

volunteer moment came when<br />

his hometown of Caracas,<br />

Venezuela experienced flooding<br />

that wiped out homes and took<br />

lives. Neyder was devastated<br />

seeing people his age displaced<br />

and empathized with them. It<br />

was a very humbling experience<br />

that led to him appreciating<br />

whatever circumstances he<br />

was in and learning to navigate<br />

through his own problems while<br />

helping others with theirs.<br />

Prior to living in Nashville,<br />

Neyder lived in New York<br />

where he gave his time to<br />

organizations that helped<br />

with food drives for people<br />

infected with HIV/AIDS and<br />

the homeless. He also helped<br />

prepare and serve meals to the<br />

homeless during the holidays.<br />

Through his employer, he<br />

helped organize walks to benefit<br />

HIV/AIDS and childhood cancer<br />

research.<br />

Since moving to Nashville<br />

five years ago, Neyder has<br />

participated with the UBS Pride<br />

Employee Resource Group<br />

(ERG) and then accepted the<br />

position of chair of the ERG<br />

when it opened up. As chair, he<br />

has raised money and had the<br />

ERG donate time and resources<br />

to the Oasis Center and the Aids<br />

Walk.<br />

Under his leadership, not only<br />

has membership quadrupled in<br />

size, so has the participation in<br />

community outreach initiatives<br />

at UBS.<br />

RON SANFORD (HE/HIM)<br />

Ron is a special event professional<br />

and business owner. He currently<br />

owns and operates Ron Sanford<br />

Productions, LLC. in the heart of<br />

Nashville. After college, he settled<br />

in Atlanta. This is where he won<br />

the title of Mr. Gay World 1986<br />

and gained ownership of Lipstix<br />

Showbar. His event career emerged<br />

when he was hired by Mr. Ted<br />

Turner to provide catering to events<br />

which led to Ron working at the<br />

Atlanta Omni Hotel as a floral guru<br />

and production specialist. From<br />

here, his newly minted company,<br />

Cream of the Crop Productions,<br />

began catering elite events<br />

including filming of music videos for<br />

the likes of Sir Elton John.<br />

Ron eventually landed back<br />

in Nashville where he founded<br />

Flamboyant Designs. Through<br />

Flamboyant, he produced the<br />

opening ceremony for the Frist<br />

Center, the groundbreaking for<br />

the Country Music Hall of Fame<br />

and the Tin Pan South Music<br />

Festival. After the Supreme Court<br />

ruling on the Obergefell v. Hodges<br />

case was finalized in May 2015,<br />

he decided that it was time for a<br />

major life change, thus Ron Sanford<br />

Productions was officially launched.<br />

Since then, Ron Sanford<br />

Productions has produced the<br />

yearly charity gala for the Scott<br />

Hamilton Cares Foundation, was<br />

named annual planner of the<br />

<strong>Tenn</strong>essee Kidney Foundation’s<br />

annual gala, was named the annual<br />

producer for Miss Gay USofA and<br />

Miss Gay America, and has worked<br />

with the local LGBT community<br />

for fundraising events. You will<br />

often see him at various events<br />

lending his time, labor, money and<br />

creativity to causes that support<br />

the community like Nashville Pride,<br />

the Nashville LGBT Chamber of<br />

Commerce, Bianca Paige Day, and<br />

the Nashville Cares AIDS Walk.<br />

Page 18 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!


DR. ROBYN HENDERSON-<br />

ESPINOZA (THEY/THEM)<br />

Dr. Robyn is an activist<br />

theologian who uses story<br />

to mobilize folks for radical<br />

social change. They are also<br />

the founder of the Activist<br />

Theology Project and author<br />

of Activist Theology. Dr.<br />

Robyn was named 1 of 10 Faith<br />

Leaders to watch by the Center<br />

for American Progress in 2018.<br />

In addition to their work in<br />

theology and activism, Dr. Robyn<br />

has volunteered with many<br />

causes including the Colorado<br />

Latinas for Reproductive Justice<br />

(COLOR) in Denver, Colorado,<br />

the Depression & Bipolar<br />

Support Alliance in Chicago,<br />

Illinois, and the Leukemia &<br />

Lymphoma Society.<br />

Dr. Robyn is currently working<br />

with Open Table Nashville<br />

during cold nights getting<br />

homeless folks into shelters<br />

by canvassing the streets and<br />

transporting people.<br />

Dr. Robyn is wearing<br />

Bow Tie: Broadway<br />

by Clifton+Leopold<br />

CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 19


MAC HUFFINGTON (SHE/HER)<br />

Mac is wearing<br />

Twilly: Olive by<br />

Clifton+Leopold<br />

Mac is the wearer of many hats<br />

and a staple here in the LGBT<br />

Community. She is the founder<br />

and owner of MAC Productions,<br />

the Ms. <strong>Tenn</strong>essee Diamond<br />

Diva Pageant, and the Mr.<br />

Esquire MI Pageant — which is<br />

the longest-running pageant<br />

system in the Southeastern<br />

Region running for 24 years.<br />

She’s been the coordinator for<br />

the Nashville Pride Turnabout<br />

Fundraiser, the Nashville Pride<br />

Drag Stage and the original<br />

creator and coordinator for the<br />

Nashville Pride Pageant.<br />

Mac is on the board of<br />

Nashville Pride, the Nashville<br />

LGBT Chamber of Commerce<br />

and Nashville Black Pride. She<br />

has served as a coordinator<br />

with BASU (formerly known<br />

as Sister’s United) and as an<br />

off-campus advisor for the<br />

<strong>Tenn</strong>essee State University Gay<br />

& Straight Alliance. She was<br />

nominated for the Women Who<br />

Rock Community Service Award<br />

and recently accepted the<br />

nomination for Vice-President<br />

of the Nashville Pride Board.<br />

Mac holds an annual Toys<br />

for Tots Fundraiser and<br />

supports/volunteers for many<br />

organizations in the community<br />

including the Metro Human<br />

Relations Commission through<br />

the Mobile Diversity Police<br />

Training Seminars, Oasis Center,<br />

MashUp, LaunchPad and<br />

more. Mac enjoys her work in<br />

the community, traveling and<br />

spending time with her partner<br />

of 22 years, Stallion.<br />

Page 20 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!


JULIA TATE-KEITH, ESQ.<br />

Julia devotes herself to serving the needs of families.<br />

After law school, she worked with Judge William<br />

Frank Crawford on the <strong>Tenn</strong>essee Court of Appeals.<br />

During this time, she worked on the Court’s opinion in<br />

a ground-breaking opinion addressing the disposition<br />

of frozen embryos, Davis v. Davis. In 2017, she filed a<br />

lawsuit on behalf of six same-sex couples challenging<br />

the “natural meaning law” that former Gov. Bill Haslam<br />

signed into law that meant that a child conceived<br />

by artificial insemination to a lesbian couple would<br />

only have the biological mother’s name on the birth<br />

certificate. Thankfully, this case was quickly dismissed<br />

as a precedent had already been set with the<br />

legalization of marriage equality.<br />

In her private practice, Julia continues to help<br />

families. She handled the appeal which resulted in<br />

the ground-breaking opinion in Nale v. Robertson 871<br />

S.W.2d674 (1994), which protects the parental rights<br />

of fathers. She writes articles and monographs, drafts<br />

model legislation, and speaks at various meetings to<br />

advocate for the protection of the families formed by<br />

gay and lesbian parents.<br />

Julia has overcome adversity to get to where she is<br />

today including personal challenges that led her to<br />

fighting for LGBT+ rights her entire adult life. This has<br />

been quite evident in her dedication to creating the<br />

community group, Rainbow Rutherford. She is always<br />

advocating for the rights of others and making sure the<br />

underserved are represented.<br />

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transfocus<br />

Olivia is wearing<br />

Twilly: Harvest by<br />

Clifton+Leopold<br />

LIVE FREE<br />

by Lauren Means | photo courtesy of <strong>Tenn</strong>essee Photographs<br />

We all know, deep down, when we are different from what<br />

society deems “normal.” There can be an internal struggle,<br />

external battles with loved ones and oftentimes loneliness.<br />

While being transgender<br />

is more transparent now<br />

than even just a couple of<br />

years ago, it doesn’t change<br />

the fear one experiences.<br />

Olivia Hill, a native<br />

Nashvillian, knows this all<br />

too well. She’s open with<br />

her coming out story and<br />

said she realized at the age<br />

of five that she was the<br />

same as her mother. In an<br />

interview with Vanderbilt<br />

University Medical Center<br />

(VUMC), she said, “I felt the<br />

same as any other girl in my<br />

family.”<br />

In the fifth grade, her<br />

class had a variety show.<br />

She wanted to be Minnie<br />

Pearl from the Grand Ole<br />

Opry. Her mom made<br />

her a hat with flowers all<br />

over it like Minnie Pearl’s,<br />

but wouldn’t let her wear<br />

a dress. In overalls, she<br />

stepped out on the stage<br />

the day of the show, feeling<br />

so confident, and gave a<br />

“How-dee!” to the audience<br />

expecting a “How-dee!”<br />

back like Minnie Pearl<br />

would be greeted. She<br />

was, however, met with<br />

silence and said she was<br />

completely embarrassed.<br />

She left the stage in tears.<br />

That night, Hill and her<br />

mother had a long talk that<br />

ended with her being taken<br />

to a psychiatrist in Green<br />

Hills where she would<br />

spend the next two years<br />

being taught “how to be a<br />

boy.”<br />

When she was old<br />

enough, she enlisted in the<br />

military and entered boot<br />

camp. This is where she<br />

really learned to suppress<br />

her true self and she<br />

developed her “manly, cool,<br />

super awesome” persona.<br />

An Evolution<br />

It wouldn’t last forever<br />

though. Her mother passed<br />

away in 2015 and that’s<br />

when she said her “egg<br />

cracked” meaning that’s<br />

when everything she had<br />

suppressed came to the<br />

surface. “I knew I couldn’t<br />

hide me any longer,” Hill said.<br />

She began seeing a<br />

therapist and after two<br />

years worked up the<br />

courage to start taking<br />

estrogen. In September<br />

2018, she legally changed<br />

her name to Olivia Ruth<br />

Hill paying homage to her<br />

grandmother with her<br />

middle name Ruth and<br />

her mother by taking her<br />

maiden name Hill. She<br />

wanted to acknowledge<br />

the two strong, amazing<br />

women in her life.<br />

Hill eventually had<br />

gender-confirming surgery<br />

at Duke University. She said<br />

it’s after having surgery<br />

that a lot of transgender<br />

individuals go through a<br />

very dark place. “I was<br />

as scared as I have ever<br />

been in my entire life,” she<br />

revealed. She was finally<br />

herself but she was also<br />

alone.<br />

After some setbacks<br />

finding an affirming plastic<br />

surgeon, she found one<br />

at VUMC and had facial<br />

feminization surgery in May<br />

2019.<br />

Finding Support<br />

Living her truth has cost<br />

Page 22 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!


her many relationships<br />

including her adult children,<br />

lifelong friends, and even<br />

being denied the ability to<br />

meet her granddaughter.<br />

Hill said, “To be honest there<br />

is no difference between<br />

a lesbian, a gay man or<br />

trans person that makes<br />

the decision to say.... this<br />

is my authentic self. Some<br />

have support. Some lose<br />

everything. My best advice<br />

is to try to surround yourself<br />

with good, positive and<br />

supportive people. The good<br />

news if you lose your family,<br />

the LGBTQ community is<br />

really great about stepping<br />

in and helping each other.<br />

Then you have your chosen<br />

family.”<br />

Sometimes the unknown<br />

can be the scariest part of<br />

finally living your authentic<br />

life. Getting proper<br />

information can combat<br />

a lot of this fear. “There is<br />

so much bad information<br />

out there. When a person<br />

starts to transition they<br />

usually start looking online<br />

for groups and information.<br />

It has been my experience<br />

that when a person has a<br />

bad encounter they will<br />

log on and share as much<br />

about it in graphic detail.<br />

When things go well, most<br />

people don’t say anything.<br />

So it sets us all up to be<br />

scared,” explained Hill.<br />

She went on to say,<br />

“Then there is our own<br />

head. We all are our own<br />

worst critics. Fear is a liar<br />

and has a way to steer us<br />

into solitude. Which makes<br />

things even worse.” Hill’s<br />

advice when one starts<br />

to have fear creep in is to<br />

reach out and ask for help.<br />

Building Community<br />

Hill has submerged<br />

herself into community<br />

activities. She is on the<br />

Equity Diversity Inclusion<br />

committee under the<br />

University Staff Advisory<br />

Council where she was<br />

elected to serve a twoyear<br />

term at Vanderbilt.<br />

She is also on the Women’s<br />

Committee at Vanderbilt<br />

University, volunteers at<br />

VUMC through the Trans<br />

Buddy Program, and helps<br />

run the trans support<br />

group at the Table with<br />

Dawn Bennett among<br />

other projects.<br />

While being involved in<br />

the community helps with<br />

building confidence, she<br />

said, “it just takes time to<br />

build up the courage to fully<br />

relax and be our true selves.<br />

My story is not unique to me<br />

nor to transgender people.<br />

Many have had similar<br />

struggles with friends and<br />

family when they came<br />

out. Many still pretend to<br />

be straight around family<br />

just to not be shunned.<br />

Sometimes people feel it’s<br />

better to fake it than to sit at<br />

home alone on the holidays.<br />

That hurts my heart thinking<br />

about how many out there<br />

are living a lie, just like I did<br />

for years.”<br />

Of all the things she<br />

has learned during her<br />

transition, Hill stated there<br />

are some things that are<br />

never discussed enough<br />

during transitioning.<br />

She said, “For me, I had<br />

absolutely no idea how<br />

much privilege I had as an<br />

acting cis-gender white<br />

straight male. No one talks<br />

about losing privilege. But<br />

it goes away fast. I’ve had<br />

more issues with just plain<br />

sexism and loss of privilege<br />

than I ever did with<br />

transphobia. I’m quite the<br />

feminist and believe the Me<br />

Too movement needs to<br />

expand and grow.”<br />

To watch Olivia’s<br />

interview with VUMC click<br />

here.<br />

www.CliftonandLeopold.com


life<br />

SO MUCH<br />

LOVE TO GIVE<br />

by Lauren Means | photos courtesy of Ernie Ratliff and George Fenner<br />

Family planning has always been a different experience for members of the LGBT+<br />

community. There is sometimes a different set of legal, financial and societal hurdles<br />

we have to jump in order to start a family, especially adoption for LGBT+ families. It<br />

has played out in the news time and time again — adoption agencies denying same-sex<br />

couples the right to adopt children who are in the system and desperately need a home.<br />

It’s always nice to share<br />

a success story where<br />

children who need homes<br />

have a smooth transition<br />

to adoption. This has been<br />

the case for Ernie Ratliff<br />

and his husband George<br />

Fenner. Ernie and George<br />

have been together for 35<br />

years. They met through<br />

work while they were<br />

both attending school in<br />

Florida where Ernie studied<br />

accounting and George<br />

became a registered nurse.<br />

After Hurricane Charley<br />

blew through where they<br />

lived in 2005, they decided<br />

to move to Murfreesboro<br />

where Ernie’s sister lives.<br />

It Was Destiny<br />

It was Ernie’s sister who<br />

introduced the idea of<br />

fostering. In 2009 they<br />

started classes for foster<br />

certification and took their<br />

first placement the day<br />

after Christmas that year.<br />

Since then, they’ve had 25<br />

placements and in 2010<br />

they decided they wanted<br />

a family of their own that<br />

would be permanent. “We<br />

reached out to our foster<br />

agency and asked for foster<br />

to adopt placements,”<br />

said Ernie. This was when<br />

they met 10-year-old<br />

Destiny. Ernie said, “she<br />

had interests similar to ours<br />

Page 24 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!


especially with animals<br />

and she moved in with us<br />

in May 2011 the day school<br />

ended for the year.” Seven<br />

months later, George and<br />

Ernie officially adopted her.<br />

She is now 20 and mother<br />

to their first grandchild.<br />

They couldn’t stop with<br />

Destiny. “We continued to<br />

seek out foster to adopt<br />

children as well as children<br />

whose goal was family<br />

reunification. In 2014 we<br />

heard of a sibling pair — a<br />

boy and girl who were<br />

eight named James and<br />

Jessie. They moved in with<br />

us in August of 2014 and<br />

we were lucky enough<br />

to adopt them in June of<br />

2015,” recalled Ernie. This<br />

happened just two weeks<br />

before the Supreme Court<br />

ruling allowing same-sex<br />

marriage.<br />

“Up until that time, only<br />

one gay parent could<br />

adopt through the state,”<br />

Ernie explained referring to<br />

<strong>Tenn</strong>essee, “and then you<br />

would have to do a second<br />

parent adoption separately<br />

after finalization. In this<br />

case a judge in Sumner<br />

county allowed us to adopt<br />

jointly without the benefit<br />

of marriage yet.” They were<br />

eventually wed August 29,<br />

2015.<br />

They went on to adopt<br />

three more children at<br />

different times that were all<br />

around the age of 17. “Jay is<br />

our daughter who is almost<br />

21 and now lives in Texas.<br />

We adopted Jay in June<br />

2017. Cody is our son that<br />

came to live with us in May<br />

2019 and we adopted him<br />

in May <strong>2020</strong> — two months<br />

before he turned 18. He is<br />

currently a senior in high<br />

school and graduates this<br />

May,” said Ernie.<br />

Melody moved in with<br />

them when she was 13 and<br />

lived with them for three<br />

years before moving to<br />

another pre adoptive home<br />

in 2019. “Through no fault<br />

of hers, the placement<br />

didn’t work out and she<br />

was moved to a foster<br />

home. She contacted us<br />

and asked if we could see<br />

if she could come back<br />

to us,” remembers Ernie.<br />

They contacted DCS and<br />

her guardian ad litem<br />

who, along with her entire<br />

foster care team, agreed<br />

to allow her to move<br />

back in with them in May<br />

<strong>2020</strong>. Typically there is a<br />

six month waiting period<br />

before one can adopt<br />

their foster child, but<br />

since Melody lived with<br />

them previously, the judge<br />

waived this requirement<br />

and they were able to<br />

adopt her in August <strong>2020</strong>.<br />

She is also a senior in high<br />

school and will graduate<br />

this May.<br />

Love, Guidance and<br />

Structure<br />

When asked why they<br />

decided on adoption,<br />

Ernie said, “We realize<br />

the importance of family<br />

reunification when<br />

possible, but throughout<br />

our journey we met and<br />

heard of so many children<br />

— especially the older<br />

ones — that needed a<br />

forever home. We were<br />

at the place in our lives<br />

where we had the means<br />

and maturity to offer our<br />

love and home to children<br />

forever.”<br />

He acknowledged<br />

teenagers are hard to place<br />

and usually have trauma<br />

backgrounds that can be<br />

challenging but says with<br />

love and guidance and<br />

structure these children<br />

can flourish and have very<br />

successful lives. “They<br />

bring so much to us in so<br />

many ways. Our lives have<br />

been forever changed for<br />

the better,” said Ernie. They<br />

currently have a 13-year-old<br />

foster son who has been<br />

with them for a little over<br />

a year. Ernie said he will be<br />

available for adoption and<br />

they will decide if the fit is<br />

a good one for everyone.<br />

Private vs State<br />

Ernie and George have<br />

only fostered and adopted<br />

through state licensed<br />

foster agencies. They never<br />

felt the need to use private<br />

or religious agencies<br />

but do take advantage<br />

of support groups and<br />

counseling through<br />

Catholic charities and<br />

similar programs. “I know<br />

that there has been talk<br />

that some of their divisions<br />

or branches can be nonfamily<br />

friendly. We have<br />

never experienced this in<br />

almost 10 years of contact.<br />

Everyone has been very<br />

supportive of us and our<br />

kiddos,” said Ernie.<br />

He did reveal that during<br />

their first encounter<br />

with adoption during<br />

a Department of Child<br />

Services (DCS) Child and<br />

Family Team Meeting<br />

(CFTM), they were<br />

discussing adoption and<br />

the flow of events that<br />

would take place and<br />

a team member made<br />

a comment something<br />

like “I’m not entirely<br />

comfortable with a gay<br />

parent adopting.”<br />

Ernie said their adoption<br />

specialist from the foster<br />

agency immediately<br />

spoke up and told them<br />

that this sort of talk<br />

was completely out of<br />

line and would not be<br />

continued or maybe some<br />

legal representation was<br />

needed. “Nothing ever<br />

was said again,” Ernie said<br />

with a smile.<br />

Self-Evaluate Before<br />

Taking the Leap<br />

Ernie said they’ve had<br />

quite a few allies in their<br />

journey and are forever<br />

grateful for all of the<br />

support and love. He does<br />

urge others to do their<br />

research and understand<br />

exactly what you are<br />

getting into. “It is a lifelong<br />

responsibility that not<br />

everyone can handle.<br />

We chose to foster first<br />

and see how we were as<br />

parents, a couple and a<br />

family,” explained Ernie.<br />

You must know your<br />

rights, your child’s rights<br />

and the law. Ernie said the<br />

journey is very fulfilling<br />

but can be overwhelming<br />

— especially being<br />

LGBT+. “The schools,<br />

doctors, therapists, kids<br />

friends and parents can<br />

sometimes judge or have<br />

a preconceived thought of<br />

what my family is or should<br />

be. Being an advocate<br />

for yourself and your kids<br />

along with having a thick<br />

skin sometimes can be<br />

very helpful. Emotions can<br />

override the best interests<br />

and I guess picking and<br />

choosing your battles is<br />

the best way to put it,”<br />

according to Ernie.<br />

Life in a New Light<br />

“Adoption is such a<br />

wonderful thing. It made<br />

us see life and what’s<br />

important in a much<br />

different light,” Ernie<br />

said. While he admits<br />

parenting can be tiring,<br />

overwhelming and time<br />

consuming, he said there<br />

is no greater reward than<br />

seeing a child grow and<br />

become themselves. “The<br />

progress we have seen in<br />

our kids both adoptive and<br />

foster is so satisfying and<br />

gives a sense of purpose<br />

every day.”<br />

CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 25


lgbt youth<br />

SUPPORTING YOUTH:<br />

A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH<br />

by Lauren Means | photos courtesy of Brianna Fearing<br />

In larger cities and<br />

metro areas, it’s becoming<br />

easier to find resources<br />

and services for the<br />

LGBT+ community. This<br />

is something that’s taken<br />

many years and a lot of<br />

blood, sweat and tears.<br />

Now, it’s members of the<br />

community in the suburbs<br />

and rural areas that are<br />

working to bring resources<br />

and services to their areas.<br />

Brianna Fearing is<br />

leading the charge for the<br />

LGBT+ youth in Maury and<br />

Marshall Counties. Living<br />

in <strong>Tenn</strong>essee for the last<br />

eight years, Fearing notes<br />

the climate is noticeably<br />

more conservative than<br />

New England where she’s<br />

from originally. “I was really<br />

shocked that people would<br />

have Marriage = 1 Man +<br />

1 Woman plastered on<br />

the back of their car but<br />

now that’s become a part<br />

of the scenery. I’ve only<br />

been openly discriminated<br />

against one time in the<br />

four-ish years that I’ve<br />

been out of the closet.<br />

However, my wife and I<br />

don’t advertise that we’re a<br />

couple,” said Fearing.<br />

Fearing and her wife<br />

don’t feel safe holding<br />

hands in public and she<br />

doesn’t feel safe disclosing<br />

she’s gay to the parents<br />

of her daughter’s friends<br />

for fear it could disrupt<br />

her child’s social life. She<br />

explained, “Overall, I don’t<br />

discuss it openly unless I<br />

trust the other person. That<br />

being said, I’m the picture<br />

of a cliche lesbian and wear<br />

rainbow stuff all the time,<br />

so I imagine people make<br />

their own assessment.”<br />

While she’s doing a lot<br />

of the work building this<br />

community behind the<br />

scenes, bringing awareness<br />

to the LGBT+ community<br />

in the area and changing<br />

the climate to one of<br />

acceptance is why she is<br />

doing this and stated, “I<br />

plan to step up and be<br />

transparent about myself<br />

and my group once there is<br />

enough support.”<br />

History Not<br />

Repeating Itself<br />

For Fearing, it was her<br />

own experience growing<br />

up and coming out that<br />

pushed her to create the<br />

Marshall and Maury County<br />

LGBTQ Alliance group on<br />

Facebook. She said, “As a<br />

teen, I tried to come out<br />

of the closet several times<br />

and each time was pushed<br />

back in by either my parents<br />

or relentless bullying. As a<br />

result, I pushed my feelings<br />

down and didn’t officially<br />

come out of the closet — for<br />

good — until my late 20s.”<br />

Fearing married her best<br />

male friend and they had a<br />

child together. She finally<br />

admitted her true feelings<br />

at age 28. Now 33, she’s<br />

happily married to a woman<br />

and still very close friends<br />

with her child’s father. She<br />

recognizes things would’ve<br />

been different for her in<br />

high school and young<br />

adulthood if she’d had a<br />

support system or a safe<br />

place to be herself. “My<br />

mental health suffered so<br />

much in high school,” said<br />

Fearing.<br />

Having a child of her<br />

own who is entering<br />

kindergarten has brought<br />

up these feelings again.<br />

Her child hasn’t expressed<br />

anything to do with being<br />

queer but just having a<br />

child reminded her of what<br />

it was like to be in school.<br />

“I wanted to create a<br />

safe space for the youth in<br />

this area to be themselves,<br />

connect with other people<br />

and get resources — LGBT+<br />

specific healthcare and<br />

mental health care, HIV/<br />

STD testing and care,<br />

resources for queer<br />

BIPOC, scholarships,<br />

churches, support groups,<br />

homelessness, emergency<br />

services, etc.,” Fearing said.<br />

Having support can mean<br />

the difference between<br />

life and death for some<br />

people. She revealed, “As<br />

a teen, there were times I<br />

considered suicide because<br />

of my sexuality, and I know<br />

this is the case for a huge<br />

number of queer youth.”<br />

Building Resources<br />

“Initially, I wasn’t<br />

sure what I wanted to<br />

accomplish, and that’s still<br />

in flux,” said Fearing. She<br />

began doing research,<br />

established a Facebook<br />

page and started building<br />

an online presence to get<br />

the word out.<br />

She envisions a support<br />

group after school for<br />

teens to sit around and<br />

talk where she could<br />

serve as the catalyst for<br />

getting things started but<br />

allowing the youth to run<br />

it and take ownership of<br />

their own support group.<br />

Page 26 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!


“That was my initial vision,<br />

however, it’s become<br />

apparent that there’s a<br />

need for local queer adults<br />

as well, though I haven’t<br />

developed a plan for that<br />

yet,” Fearing explained.<br />

COVID, of course, has made<br />

it more difficult to try to get<br />

a group together in person,<br />

but this has forced Fearing<br />

to focus more on building<br />

a solid community before<br />

taking action.<br />

Expanding on Diversity<br />

Fearing thinks that any<br />

sort of LGBT+ group would<br />

be beneficial in her area.<br />

“Nashville is much more<br />

culturally diverse than<br />

where I live, so there isn’t<br />

a vibrant openly queer<br />

community that I’m aware<br />

of. I’d love to have the<br />

opportunity to meet with<br />

fellow queer folks and<br />

support queer youth,” she<br />

said.<br />

Locally, the Franklin<br />

PFLAG chapter does<br />

a phenomenal job for<br />

parents of queer children<br />

but there’s very little<br />

support of queer youth<br />

in local schools based on<br />

conversations with others<br />

in the area. “Recently,<br />

teachers from a local<br />

middle school reached out<br />

to me and a friend of mine<br />

who’s active in the queer<br />

community with PFLAG<br />

and <strong>Tenn</strong>essee Equality<br />

Project about helping start<br />

a GSA in their school. We<br />

did a lot of brainstorming<br />

and developed a plan,”<br />

recalled Fearing. Barring<br />

some initial pushback from<br />

some more conservative<br />

faculty, the kids are<br />

actively getting their GSA<br />

going with the help of their<br />

teachers.<br />

She doesn’t feel alone<br />

in the drive for youth<br />

programs and said others<br />

clearly recognize the need<br />

for queer youth support,<br />

“I’ve recently been reached<br />

out to about collaborating<br />

to create a youth pride<br />

event for next year. I think<br />

this sort of momentum<br />

is what the local queer<br />

community needs,<br />

especially kids who need<br />

support the most.”<br />

For more information check<br />

out the Marshall and Maury<br />

County LGBTQ Alliance<br />

Facebook group.<br />

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faith+spirituality<br />

‘YOU ARE BELOVED’<br />

By Lauren Means | photos courtesy Pastor Dawn Bennett & The Table<br />

I grew up in the Church<br />

of Christ. I was never taught<br />

to hate but I do remember<br />

hearing the phrase “hate<br />

the sin, not the sinner”<br />

frequently. As I grew older,<br />

I started to question what<br />

that meant exactly. When I<br />

came to terms with my own<br />

sexual orientation, I realized<br />

I was the sin. This has led to<br />

much time reflecting on my<br />

personal relationship with<br />

religion and spirituality.<br />

This is common for many in<br />

the LGBT+ community. We’re<br />

inundated with it in the news,<br />

on TV, on social media, and<br />

often in our families. We’re<br />

told we are broken; that<br />

there’s something wrong with<br />

who we are; that we need<br />

fixing.<br />

Luckily, there are numerous<br />

affirming faith communities<br />

in the <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee area.<br />

Many are in Nashville but you<br />

can find them in outlying<br />

areas too. In the South,<br />

being affirming to the LGBT+<br />

community is a bold stance<br />

to take. We’re fortunate to<br />

have organizations that go<br />

out of their way to let us<br />

know we are loved as we<br />

are. The Table is a welcome<br />

addition to the list.<br />

Finding Her Truth<br />

The Table is described as<br />

an organic faith community<br />

by its founder Pastor Dawn<br />

Bennett. Pastor Dawn was<br />

raised with her siblings in the<br />

Catholic tradition. “Strangely,<br />

from an early age, I was<br />

driven to go inside with my<br />

feelings and questions, which<br />

included my bisexuality. As<br />

a kid, I began talking to God<br />

in a conversational way,” she<br />

said. Pastor Dawn explained<br />

while she didn’t learn this in<br />

Sunday School per se, it’s<br />

what developed for her. She<br />

also shared that, over the<br />

years, she learned about<br />

abuses her siblings endured<br />

— especially her brothers —<br />

within the church. She kept<br />

talking with God about how<br />

this could be and eventually<br />

found the Catholic doctrine<br />

wasn’t a maintainable faith<br />

tradition for her.<br />

Embracing Her Truth<br />

In the mid-’90s, when<br />

her children were young,<br />

Pastor Dawn and her family<br />

moved to <strong>Tenn</strong>essee.<br />

She’d transitioned to the<br />

Evangelical Lutheran<br />

Church in America (ELCA)<br />

and began working in lay<br />

ministry, teaching and<br />

Vacation Bible School.<br />

As time passed, her<br />

children wanted a youth<br />

group with all the buttons<br />

and bells. “Enter [the] bigbox<br />

evangelical church,”<br />

she said. “A few years in,<br />

my middle child came out<br />

as lesbian. Or, actually, was<br />

outed by the youth pastor’s<br />

wife.....no way! Yes, way. Well,<br />

family and church life blew up<br />

and before I knew it, none of<br />

my kids would go to church<br />

and divorce was right around<br />

the bend,” shared Pastor<br />

Dawn.<br />

As the years progressed,<br />

she said her conversations<br />

with God turned more to<br />

rage and questions. “But still,<br />

I couldn’t seem to separate<br />

myself from either my lived<br />

experiences or ministry. Over<br />

time God began talking back<br />

to me in answers like, ‘if you<br />

want something to change,<br />

change it.’ So, I did,” she<br />

said. She went to Vanderbilt<br />

Divinity School and Luther<br />

Seminary. Now, she works to<br />

help people and families heal<br />

Page 28 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!


from religious trauma as well<br />

as find and create meaningful<br />

ways to engage with their<br />

faith as they understand it.<br />

“I’m ordained to the Ministry<br />

of Word and Sacrament —<br />

which basically means if we<br />

can dream it, I can do it, as far<br />

as the Church is concerned,”<br />

she explained.<br />

Cultivating her Truth<br />

Pastor Dawn said, “As<br />

Pastor, there’re really only<br />

two questions I seek to<br />

learn: 1) what do you need,<br />

and 2) how can I help. That<br />

said, some of the greatest<br />

needs I know about involve<br />

safe places for us to ‘be us,’<br />

whatever that looks like for a<br />

person.”<br />

She’s learned that most of<br />

us practice some sort of faith<br />

and many of us come from<br />

Christian traditions that have,<br />

in some way, harmed us.<br />

One of the most important<br />

needs she sees is what she<br />

calls bridge-building. “That<br />

is, building bridges to span<br />

the gap between the hurt<br />

and the healing. My Bishop,<br />

Rev. Kevin Strickland, gave<br />

me permission to ‘get as<br />

radical as necessary to help<br />

those who have need.’ He<br />

knows what the needs are,<br />

perhaps better than I do<br />

in fact. Before becoming<br />

Bishop he was a pastor here,<br />

in Nashville. By calling me as<br />

a pastor to serve here, he’s<br />

helped create an opportunity<br />

for the ELCA Lutheran<br />

church to become part of the<br />

remedy,” said Pastor Dawn.<br />

She continued, “The<br />

‘Church,’ that is the whole<br />

Christian church, all<br />

denominations, has done<br />

great harm to LGBT+ folx<br />

over the centuries — this we<br />

know. The Table aims to help<br />

heal some of those wounds.”<br />

She said they aim to be a<br />

place where one’s authentic<br />

self, in all their beautiful mess,<br />

can come together and<br />

create something new and<br />

beautiful.<br />

Sharing Her Truth<br />

When asked for advice for<br />

someone who is struggling<br />

with balancing being true<br />

to their identity and their<br />

spirituality, she said, “God,<br />

created you AS you are.<br />

You’re loved and beautiful<br />

in your Creator’s eyes. I<br />

believe this so deeply and<br />

my claim is evidenced by the<br />

Prophets of old; Jeremiah<br />

1:5 says, ‘I knew you before<br />

you were formed.’ There’s no<br />

expectation on God’s part for<br />

us to be anyone other than<br />

who we’re led to be. We all<br />

know our truth. It sits deep<br />

within us. Some call it a gut<br />

feeling, some inner knowing,<br />

some intuition, some the<br />

Spirit within. All of these are<br />

correct and they all speak the<br />

same Truth.”<br />

She went further to say, “If<br />

you know how you are called<br />

to live, lean gently into it. If<br />

your faith tradition does not<br />

lead you deeper into yourself<br />

and further toward love, you<br />

have likely outgrown that<br />

part of your faith journey.<br />

God has not made any<br />

mistakes and God does not<br />

make any junk. God is love<br />

and we are love. The risk and<br />

reward is in keeping on the<br />

path of learning how to carry<br />

those realities in tandem.<br />

And, for me, that’s why we<br />

call ourselves the Beloved<br />

Community.”<br />

Faith is Like a Garden<br />

Some groups are more<br />

vulnerable than others<br />

when it comes to finding a<br />

welcoming spiritual family.<br />

Pastor Dawn said, “The<br />

Table provides ‘grace and<br />

a place for you.’ What this<br />

means is, wherever you<br />

find yourself on the path<br />

of faith, you are welcome.<br />

But more importantly,<br />

you are affirmed.” She<br />

points out that welcoming<br />

and affirming isn’t the<br />

same. This is an important<br />

distinction when someone<br />

of the LGBT+ community is<br />

looking for a faith home.<br />

“It can be a slow crawl<br />

back to a sense of safety.<br />

Many of us, particularly in<br />

the trans* community, have<br />

been so hurt and harmed it<br />

feels impossible to heal. But<br />

as scripture says ‘nothing is<br />

impossible with God,’” she<br />

said.<br />

The Table will be a place<br />

of healing and reconnecting<br />

back to a life-giving place<br />

to practice faith. She wants<br />

to tell people that it’s okay<br />

to talk, rage and inquire;<br />

that God can handle it. The<br />

Table will provide a place of<br />

freedom to explore those<br />

areas of life and death where<br />

faith is concerned.<br />

“Pruning is a spiritually<br />

sound principle. I hope to<br />

illustrate an example of faith<br />

like a garden: some things<br />

have to die before others<br />

can come to life; sometimes<br />

weeds and flowers grow<br />

together in the same plot;<br />

something is always in<br />

bloom. At the minimum, The<br />

Table hopes to be a place<br />

to work the soil of your<br />

faith. At most, we hope to<br />

be a garden,” stated Pastor<br />

Dawn.<br />

Looking Forward<br />

She planted the<br />

roots and really started<br />

growing the community<br />

at the beginning of this<br />

year — and then COVID<br />

hit. That hasn’t stopped<br />

The Table from moving<br />

forward. On <strong>Dec</strong>ember 4,<br />

at 7 pm, they’re hosting<br />

“Drag Wership - Live” in<br />

collaboration with Mac<br />

Productions. They also<br />

have the Community Hope<br />

Chest which provides free<br />

clothing and accessories<br />

to transgender individuals<br />

who experience a barrier to<br />

resources. In January, they<br />

plan to begin live Queer Mic<br />

Nite.<br />

They’ll soon begin a<br />

Wednesday evening adult<br />

scripture study twice<br />

monthly via zoom. It’ll be a<br />

place to bring your doubts,<br />

fears, questions and hopes.<br />

Rainbow Connection is<br />

an LGBT+ youth group via<br />

zoom (for now) aimed at<br />

providing a place for youth<br />

who have more questions<br />

than their current youth<br />

group serves and a place<br />

where they can be more<br />

fully themselves. Pastor<br />

Dawn has begun posting<br />

a monthly newsletter on<br />

social media and all events<br />

are on The Table’s website.<br />

“Since our activities grow<br />

out of need, we create<br />

new opportunities to meet<br />

people where they are to<br />

help them make meaning of<br />

life and faith,” she said.<br />

If you have a dream, Pastor<br />

Dawn urges you to talk to<br />

her to see how she can help<br />

make it come to life. She<br />

equated a pastor to a cruise<br />

ship captain saying, “I only<br />

drive the boat. Everyone<br />

knows it’s the crew who<br />

runs the place and the<br />

people on board who make<br />

it a collective life-giving<br />

experience.” She does need<br />

your help in however God<br />

moves you to be involved.<br />

Most importantly, she wants<br />

you to know: “God loves you<br />

as you are, for who you are<br />

and where you are. Wherever<br />

you are, it’s okay. You are<br />

beloved.”<br />

The Table always needs<br />

volunteers and funding. For<br />

more information on how<br />

you can help or how to get<br />

involved in the services, visit<br />

thetablenashville.org.<br />

CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 29


Today, there are almost<br />

1500 Sisters worldwide with<br />

over 50 houses in North<br />

America and houses on<br />

nearly every continent in the<br />

world. The Music City Sisters<br />

of Perpetual Indulgence<br />

(MCSPI) formed in 2010<br />

when they took the plunge<br />

and opened the Nashville<br />

house. While all houses<br />

are independent, they<br />

follow the founding mission<br />

statement of the Order in<br />

San Fransisco:<br />

“The Sisters of Perpetual<br />

Indulgence® are a leadingcommunity<br />

‘IT’S WHAT’S UNDER THE<br />

CORONET THAT COUNTS’<br />

by Lauren Means | photos courtesy of Music City Sisters<br />

The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence® is a charity, protest and street performance<br />

organization. The first house, The Mother House, was started 41 years ago in San<br />

Francisco when a group of gay men began wearing nun habits in visible situations to<br />

draw attention to social conflicts and problems in the Castro District. The sisters took vows<br />

to Promulgate Universal Joy and Expiate Stigmatic Guilt and their website states, “We are<br />

here for our community to foster hope, creativity, and wellness!”<br />

edge Order of queer and<br />

trans nuns. We believe<br />

all people have a right<br />

to express their unique<br />

joy and beauty. Since<br />

our first appearance in<br />

San Francisco on Easter<br />

Sunday, 1979, the Sisters<br />

have devoted ourselves<br />

to community service,<br />

ministry and outreach to<br />

those on the edges, and to<br />

promoting human rights,<br />

respect for diversity and<br />

spiritual enlightenment.<br />

We use humor and<br />

irreverent wit to expose<br />

Page 30 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!


the forces of bigotry,<br />

complacency and guilt that<br />

chain the human spirit.”<br />

While the Music City<br />

Sisters are celebrating<br />

their 10 year anniversary<br />

this year, they’ve had to<br />

cancel all planned events<br />

until recently. We spoke<br />

with the Sisters to find out<br />

more about their purpose,<br />

how COVID-19 has affected<br />

them, and what we have to<br />

look forward to from the<br />

organization.<br />

<strong>Focus</strong> <strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee:<br />

What types of events<br />

and fundraisers do the<br />

Music City Sisters host<br />

and who benefits from the<br />

fundraisers?<br />

Music City Sisters of<br />

Perpetual Indulgence: Last<br />

year your Music City Sisters<br />

raised over ten thousand<br />

dollars that we granted to<br />

<strong>Mid</strong>dle <strong>Tenn</strong>essee LGBTQ+<br />

organizations. We have<br />

several fundraising events<br />

each year including The<br />

Pink Panty Pulldown, The<br />

Freak and Fetish Fashion<br />

Show, Soak A Sister, Bitches<br />

Ball and many more. We are<br />

a non-profit organization<br />

working with local LGBTQ+<br />

organizations to help those<br />

in need.<br />

FMT: How has COVID-19<br />

affected the MCSPI?<br />

MCSPI: COVID-19 has<br />

been extremely tough<br />

for the Sisters across the<br />

globe. We are a community<br />

outreach organization. We<br />

go where we are needed.<br />

We hug people, give them<br />

a smile, listen to them and<br />

generally try to make them<br />

feel fabulous. This is nearly<br />

impossible to do virtually.<br />

We have been challenged<br />

to continue our work<br />

online. We have been going<br />

through a metamorphosis<br />

of sorts. We long for the<br />

day we can hit the streets<br />

again and hug people!<br />

FMT: How can our readers<br />

help support the MCSPI?<br />

MCSPI: Donations! If<br />

people want to help out,<br />

please use PayPal alms@<br />

musiccitysisters.org. We<br />

also have Square, FB pay<br />

and many other ways to<br />

donate, so please use<br />

the “alms” email address<br />

above to find us where<br />

you donate. Also, email<br />

the “alms” address to ask<br />

for help in donating or<br />

with questions. Folks can<br />

also use Amazon Smile<br />

and search for the Music<br />

City Sisters to donate<br />

every time you order.<br />

Our general email is<br />

musiccitysistersmedia@<br />

gmail.com<br />

FMT: Any upcoming<br />

events we can look<br />

forward to?<br />

MCSPI: We are currently<br />

working on the Bitches<br />

Ball, where performers<br />

of all stripes compete to<br />

raise the most money and<br />

win the BB crown at the<br />

end of October. You can<br />

find more information<br />

on all social media by<br />

searching the Music City<br />

Sisters.<br />

FMT: Anything else you<br />

would like to add?<br />

MCSPI: We want the<br />

readers to know that we<br />

Music City Sisters support<br />

all LGBTQ+ people no<br />

matter race, gender,<br />

religion, creed, or anything<br />

else. You are exactly who<br />

you are supposed to be<br />

and you are beautiful! We<br />

also encourage everyone<br />

to make a plan and vote or<br />

vote early and have your<br />

voice heard.<br />

Don’t forget, as Sister<br />

Mary Chastity Mistress of<br />

Propaganda and Media<br />

says, “It’s what’s under the<br />

coronet that counts.”<br />

CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 31


travel<br />

PRIDE JOURNEYS<br />

MONTEREY,<br />

CALIFORNIA<br />

story and photos by Joey Amato<br />

For nearly a decade, Monterey has been on my bucket list of U.S.<br />

destinations I wished to visit. The picturesque seaside town always<br />

seemed to pop up on my social media feed just when I was in need<br />

of a relaxing vacation. I decided this year would be the year I ventured to<br />

Monterey. I flew into San Jose airport where I met up with Joey Suarez, a<br />

friend and EDM musician who decided to tag along for this journey. It was<br />

also Joey’s first time visiting Monterey so we had the opportunity to explore<br />

the city for the first time together, which was quite a fun experience.<br />

Page 32 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!


The first thing we did<br />

upon arrival was check in<br />

to our hotel, the beautiful<br />

Monterey Plaza Hotel &<br />

Spa, located right on the<br />

water in the Cannery Row<br />

district of Monterey. The<br />

district got its name for<br />

being home to dozens<br />

of sardine canneries and<br />

was also the setting of<br />

John Steinbeck’s novels<br />

“Cannery Row” and “Sweet<br />

Thursday.” Steinbeck was<br />

born in nearby Salinas<br />

and his father served as<br />

Monterey County treasurer.<br />

The area is adorned with<br />

tributes to Steinbeck with<br />

statues erected in his honor<br />

and buildings bearing his<br />

name.<br />

If you have a chance to<br />

visit Monterey Plaza, ask<br />

for the owner’s suite which<br />

comes complete with a<br />

baby grand piano, dining<br />

table for eight guests, two<br />

full bathrooms and three<br />

wrap-around porches, not<br />

to mention unobstructed<br />

views of Monterey Bay. We<br />

didn’t even need an alarm,<br />

as each morning we were<br />

awoken by the barks of the<br />

sea lions that gather along<br />

the coastline.<br />

Monterey is home to<br />

a ton of sea life. We had<br />

the opportunity to take<br />

a guided kayak tour of<br />

Monterey Bay given by a<br />

company called Adventures<br />

by the Sea. During our onehour<br />

excursion, we passed<br />

dozens of seals, otters,<br />

sea lions and other marine<br />

animals.<br />

At the time of my visit,<br />

California had strict<br />

COVID-19 restrictions,<br />

so masks were required<br />

everywhere, and<br />

restaurants were only<br />

allowed to offer outdoor<br />

dining, but because many<br />

have great views of the<br />

water, I didn’t mind dining<br />

al fresco. Monterey has a<br />

cute downtown with many<br />

locally-owned shops and<br />

restaurants. If you’re in<br />

the mood for a pre-dinner<br />

drink, swing by Montrio<br />

Bistro for one of their<br />

signature cocktails.<br />

Schooners Coastal<br />

Kitchen & Bar is located in<br />

the Monterey Plaza Hotel<br />

and offers a wonderful<br />

selection of fish entrees.<br />

Joey and I began our<br />

meal with the Fresh Catch<br />

which consisted of Morro<br />

Bay pacific gold oysters,<br />

black tiger prawns and<br />

octopus ceviche. I fell in<br />

love with the prawns and<br />

the homemade cocktail<br />

sauce. While Joey decided<br />

to go with a panini as his<br />

main course, I stuck with<br />

fish. One of my favorite<br />

dishes is Cioppino. I first<br />

had the dish during a visit<br />

to San Francisco many<br />

years ago and order it<br />

every time I can find a<br />

restaurant that offers<br />

it. Each establishment<br />

has its own twist on this<br />

entrée. Schooners version<br />

of Cioppino contained<br />

shrimp, clams, mussels,<br />

calamari, and seasonal fish<br />

all in a delicious saffron-<br />

Dungeness crab broth.<br />

Walking along Cannery<br />

Row is like taking a walk<br />

through history. Many<br />

of the old buildings still<br />

exist, although they are<br />

repurposed into hotels and<br />

retail establishments. Soap<br />

Confections makes handcrafted<br />

soaps available in<br />

a variety of shapes and<br />

scents, while Global Candle<br />

CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 33


Gallery creates one-of-akind<br />

custom candles right<br />

in front of your eyes.<br />

Along the way, we<br />

stopped at Coniglio<br />

Brothers Italian Deli for<br />

a delicious charcuterie<br />

platter. One thing is for<br />

sure, they do not skimp on<br />

the meat and cheese. There<br />

was so much prosciutto we<br />

had some to bring back to<br />

our hotel for an afternoon<br />

snack. That being said,<br />

we needed a nice bottle<br />

of wine to pair with our<br />

leftovers, so we stopped<br />

by A Taste of Monterey,<br />

a wine market and bistro<br />

which offers an extensive<br />

collection of local wines<br />

from Monterey County<br />

winemakers.<br />

Because many of<br />

the indoor attractions,<br />

such as the Monterey<br />

Bay Aquarium were still<br />

closed due to COVID-19<br />

restrictions, we had a lot<br />

of free time to walk around<br />

the town and eat…and<br />

boy did we eat. The Fish<br />

Hopper is a family-owned<br />

restaurant founded in 1950,<br />

which offers stunning views<br />

of the bay and incredible<br />

cocktails. Since I was on<br />

vacation, I went for the<br />

Toasted Coconut Colada,<br />

made with Skyy Pineapple<br />

vodka, pineapple juice, a<br />

splash of Amaretto and a<br />

house special piña colada<br />

mix. It was the perfect way<br />

to enjoy lunch with great<br />

company.<br />

To cap off our culinary<br />

journey of Monterey, we<br />

visited The Sardine Factory.<br />

Don’t let the name fool you.<br />

The establishment is one of<br />

the most incredible finedining<br />

experiences I’ve ever<br />

had — all underneath a tent.<br />

Although customers aren’t<br />

allowed inside the building<br />

(except for restroom use),<br />

we got a private tour of the<br />

“<br />

BECAUSE MANY<br />

OF THE INDOOR<br />

ATTRACTIONS, SUCH<br />

AS THE MONTEREY<br />

BAY AQUARIUM,<br />

ARE STILL CLOSED<br />

DUE TO COVID-19<br />

RESTRICTIONS,<br />

WE HAD A LOT OF<br />

FREE TIME TO WALK<br />

AROUND THE TOWN<br />

AND EAT... AND BOY<br />

DID WE EAT.<br />

property, which includes<br />

an elaborate wine cellar fit<br />

for a king, complete with<br />

a custom wooden table<br />

large enough to seat 24<br />

guests. The Sardine Factory<br />

is known for its extensive<br />

wine list, one of the finest<br />

in the world, complete<br />

with over 2,000 labels<br />

and 20,000 bottles. The<br />

restaurant offers private<br />

Page 34 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!


wine lockers for their<br />

frequent patrons. I won’t<br />

disclose all the celebrities<br />

whose names adorn the<br />

lockers, but I’ll say one<br />

goes by the nickname “The<br />

Governator”.<br />

I was already in heaven<br />

and dinner had not even<br />

begun. We had the great<br />

pleasure of meeting two<br />

of the owners, one being<br />

the head chef. I told him<br />

to bring us whatever<br />

he wanted. The rest of<br />

my party seemed a bit<br />

perplexed by this, but<br />

having written many dining<br />

reviews in my career, I<br />

found this request to be<br />

not only fun for me, but<br />

also exciting for the chefs<br />

as they get to prepare their<br />

favorite dishes – some of<br />

which I probably would not<br />

have ordered on my own.<br />

We began with their<br />

famous Abalone Bisque, a<br />

smooth bisque prepared<br />

with bacon, chives,<br />

and Madeira wine. This<br />

specialty was served<br />

at President Reagan’s<br />

Inauguration. Talk about<br />

historic. The bisque was<br />

followed by one of the<br />

day’s specials, a panseared<br />

sea scallop over<br />

foie gras. I’ll admit, I’m<br />

not a big fan of foie gras,<br />

but I do love scallops.<br />

They paired perfectly<br />

together. Next came one<br />

of the chef’s favorite<br />

dishes, Linguini Carbonara,<br />

homemade pasta prepared<br />

with Parmesan & Romano<br />

cheeses, egg, scallions,<br />

chives, pancetta, and black<br />

pepper. Growing up in New<br />

York, I had this dish many<br />

times, but this was the<br />

best I’ve ever had…and my<br />

favorite dish of the entire<br />

trip.<br />

Chef Cutino decided<br />

we’d not tried enough of<br />

his dishes, so he brought<br />

us his version of surf and<br />

turf which in this case was<br />

veal and lobster. To end<br />

the evening, he brought<br />

us delectable Chocolate<br />

Dipped Bonbons served<br />

over dry ice – which made<br />

for great Instagram photos<br />

and videos, in addition to<br />

his homemade Chocolate<br />

Kahlua Cinnamon gelato,<br />

and “The Factory” spumoni.<br />

I’m still dieting!<br />

It was the perfect way to<br />

end a much-needed vacation<br />

by the sea. Being by the<br />

water always relaxes me and<br />

of course, being surrounded<br />

by great people and great<br />

food never hurts either.<br />

Joey Amato is the founder and<br />

publisher of Pride Journeys,<br />

an LGBTQ travel website and a<br />

syndicated column. For more<br />

LGBTQ travel ideas, please visit<br />

www.pridejourneys.com.<br />

CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 35


food+drink<br />

HOLIDAY<br />

TREATS<br />

’Tis the season for parties, friend and family gatherings, and it’s always<br />

good to have a go-to list of treats and drinks to serve or share.<br />

Here’s a roundup of must-haves that we love.<br />

HOT BUTTERED RUM<br />

A holiday favorite is spiced rum. Epicurious has a tasty<br />

version to try.<br />

Ingredients<br />

2 cups water<br />

1/2 stick (1/4 cup) unsalted butter<br />

1/4 cup packed dark brown sugar<br />

1 teaspoon cinnamon<br />

1/2 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg<br />

1/4 teaspoon ground cloves<br />

1/8 teaspoon salt<br />

2/3 cup dark rum<br />

Directions<br />

1. Bring water, butter, brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg,<br />

cloves, and salt to a boil in a 1 1/2- to 2-quart saucepan over<br />

moderately high heat.<br />

2. Reduce heat and simmer, whisking occasionally, 10 minutes.<br />

3. Remove from heat and stir in rum.<br />

4. Serve hot.<br />

APPLE CRANBERRY SPRITZER<br />

For a non-alcoholic alternative, Town and Country<br />

suggests this mocktail from the Jekyll Island Club Resort.<br />

Ingredients<br />

Apple juice<br />

Cranberry juice<br />

Sprite<br />

Cranberries<br />

Rosemary<br />

Directions<br />

1. In a glass mix equal parts apple juice and<br />

cranberry juice.<br />

2. Add a dash of Sprite.<br />

3. Garnish with cranberries and a sprig of rosemary.<br />

Page 36 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!


EGGNOG<br />

Eggnog is a holiday classic and we like this<br />

version from Alton Brown.<br />

Ingredients<br />

4 egg yolks<br />

1/3 cup sugar, plus 1 tablespoon<br />

1 pint whole milk<br />

1 cup heavy cream<br />

3 ounces bourbon<br />

1 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg<br />

4 egg whites*<br />

Directions<br />

1. In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the<br />

egg yolks until they lighten in color.<br />

Gradually add the 1/3 cup sugar and<br />

continue to beat until it is completely<br />

dissolved. Add the milk, cream, bourbon<br />

and nutmeg and stir to combine.<br />

2. Place the egg whites in the bowl of a<br />

stand mixer and beat to soft peaks. With<br />

the mixer still running gradually add the<br />

1 tablespoon of sugar and beat until stiff<br />

peaks form.<br />

3. Whisk the egg whites into the mixture.<br />

Chill and serve.<br />

4. Cook’s Note: For cooked eggnog, follow<br />

procedure below.<br />

5. In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the<br />

egg yolks until they lighten in color.<br />

Gradually add the 1/3 cup sugar and<br />

continue to beat until it is completely<br />

dissolved. Set aside.<br />

6. In a medium saucepan, over high heat,<br />

combine the milk, heavy cream and<br />

nutmeg and bring just to a boil, stirring<br />

occasionally. Remove from the heat and<br />

gradually temper the hot mixture into<br />

the egg and sugar mixture. Then return<br />

everything to the pot and cook until the<br />

mixture reaches 160 degrees F. Remove<br />

from the heat, stir in the bourbon, pour<br />

into a medium mixing bowl, and set in<br />

the refrigerator to chill.<br />

7. In a medium mixing bowl, beat the egg<br />

whites to soft peaks. With the mixer<br />

running gradually add the 1 tablespoon<br />

of sugar and beat until stiff peaks form.<br />

Whisk the egg whites into the chilled<br />

mixture.<br />

*Consumption of raw or undercooked eggs,<br />

shellfish and meat may increase the risk of<br />

foodborne illness.<br />

CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 37


CHRISTMAS COOKIE CHEESECAKE<br />

To satisfy your sweet tooth, try out this yummy dessert from the Food Network. No matter<br />

how the decorating goes this is sure to be a crowd-pleaser!<br />

Ingredients<br />

One 16.5-ounce tube store-bought sugar cookie dough<br />

Four 8-ounce packages of cream cheese, at room temperature<br />

2 cups granulated sugar<br />

1 cup sour cream<br />

2 tablespoons vanilla extract<br />

4 large eggs, at room temperature<br />

Red and green sprinkles, for decorating<br />

One 1-pound box confectioners’ sugar (about 4 cups)<br />

2 tablespoons meringue powder<br />

Red and green gel food coloring<br />

*Special equipment: two pastry bags fitted with small round tips<br />

Directions<br />

1. Position an oven rack in the middle of the oven and preheat to 350 degrees F. Press the<br />

cookie dough into the bottom of a 9-inch springform pan (use the bottom of a measuring<br />

cup to help spread it out and make it even). Bake until the cookie is set and golden brown,<br />

12 to 15 minutes. Let cool completely, about 30 minutes. Wrap the bottom and sides<br />

of the pan with a large piece of foil and put it in a large roasting pan. Reduce the oven<br />

temperature to 325 degrees F.<br />

2. Beat the cream cheese and granulated sugar together in a large bowl with an electric<br />

mixer on medium speed for 1 minute. Add the sour cream and vanilla and beat until just<br />

combined. Mix in the eggs by hand, one at a time, until just combined. (Take care not to<br />

overmix or the cheesecake will puff up and crack). Pour the batter into the springform<br />

pan. Add enough hot water to the roasting pan to come about halfway up the side of the<br />

springform pan.<br />

3. Bake until the outside of the cake is set but the center is still slightly loose, about 1 hour<br />

and 20 minutes. Turn the oven off and leave the cheesecake in the oven for another hour.<br />

Remove the cheesecake from the roasting pan to a cooling rack. Run a knife around the<br />

edge and cool to room temperature. Cover and refrigerate at least 8 hours.<br />

4. Run a knife around the edge of the pan once more and unlock to unmold the cheesecake.<br />

Transfer to a serving platter or cake stand and smooth the edges with a knife. Pat the<br />

Jimmie sprinkles into the sides of the cheesecake making sure not to cover the crust or<br />

get any on top.<br />

5. Whisk together the confectioners’ sugar and meringue powder in a large bowl. Add<br />

5 tablespoons water and beat with an electric mixer on medium-high speed until soft<br />

glossy peaks form, adding up to 1 more tablespoon water if necessary.<br />

6. Transfer about 1/2 cup of the royal icing to a pastry bag fitted with a small round tip. Thin<br />

the remaining icing with 1 teaspoon of water at a time until it is the consistency of syrup<br />

(you know you have reached the right consistency if you drizzle a bit of the icing and<br />

it sinks back into the icing within 8 to 10 seconds). Transfer 1 cup of the thinned icing in<br />

another pastry bag fitted with a small round tip. Divide the remaining batter between two<br />

small bowl and color one red and one green with the red and green gel food coloring.<br />

7. Use the thick white icing to pipe a large scalloped circle around the cake leaving a 3/4-<br />

inch border. Use the thinned white icing to fill the center of the scalloped circle. Use an<br />

offset spatula to spread the icing out so that it is smooth. <strong>Dec</strong>orate with the colored icing<br />

while the white icing is still set. Chill the cake until the icing is set, at least 1 hour.<br />

Page 38 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!


CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 39


health+wellness<br />

Traveling during the pandemic<br />

by Sydney Moxley<br />

Eight months ago, COVID-19 put the world on pause. As the<br />

realization that life as we knew it would change forever, the<br />

priority became staying at home as often as possible; travel<br />

was the last thing on our minds. Since then, there’ve been more<br />

than 220,000 deaths and over seven million cases in the United<br />

States alone, making it seem like air travel is as dangerous as ever.<br />

And if you’re brave enough to take a flight, your trip brings with it a<br />

certain stigma of recklessness, even despite precautions.<br />

I myself have taken four trips via air, as well as a few<br />

small road trips, since March, which may very well<br />

make me seem careless or ignorant of the pandemic<br />

ravaging the world right now. However, let me assure<br />

you that I’ve taken great care in my travels to keep<br />

myself and everyone else safe. With the holidays fast<br />

approaching, you may be wondering if flying could be<br />

possible for you now that regulations are being lifted.<br />

I believe that with the proper safety measures, travel,<br />

specifically air travel, can be possible for many.<br />

As a note of caution, this is a very personal decision<br />

that takes into consideration many factors, including<br />

age, pre existing conditions, duration of flights,<br />

accommodations while traveling, and much more. I<br />

can’t make any recommendations for anyone; I can<br />

only say what I’ve done and experienced. Please<br />

do what you personally feel is best when making<br />

the decision to fly this holiday season to keep you<br />

and your family safe and healthy. If you’re in doubt,<br />

consult with your physician.<br />

Safety at the Airport<br />

Because the pandemic has left many unwilling<br />

to fly, airports have become quite pleasant.<br />

Page 40 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!


Nashville International Airport (BNA), although<br />

still undergoing renovations, has been easy to<br />

navigate while practicing social distancing, and<br />

as a side note, the new Terminal D is very nice<br />

(RIP BNA carpet). At security, you’ll be asked to<br />

uncover your mouth to check against your picture<br />

ID, but that’s the only time you should remove<br />

your mask during the process. Be advised some<br />

dining is still closed, so keep that in mind as you’re<br />

planning meals. The good news is that you may<br />

need less time than normal to get through security<br />

and get to your gate, so plan accordingly.<br />

Many gates are practicing social distancing<br />

by blocking off every other chair. I found most<br />

people respected mask rules, except while eating<br />

and drinking. When boarding, the airlines called<br />

for smaller boarding groups than usual in order<br />

to stagger entrance onto the plane. Some airlines<br />

even board in reverse order in order to reduce<br />

people passing each other in the aisles.<br />

On the Flight<br />

My first few flights during COVID in July were<br />

the best flights of my life because of how empty<br />

they were! On the first flight, there were only 15<br />

people; the second flight had just 23. Since then,<br />

flights have been getting fuller as restrictions are<br />

starting to ease and people are becoming more<br />

comfortable. Some airlines intentionally leave the<br />

middle seat open when booking to keep social<br />

distancing measures while others book the entire<br />

plane.<br />

All airlines I’ve flown have mandated passengers<br />

wear their masks the entire time, except when<br />

eating or drinking. Speaking of which, what’s<br />

become of snack and beverage service, you may<br />

ask? It depends on the airline. Southwest gave out<br />

water and pretzels only; Delta passed out prepackaged<br />

snack bags, which included a bottle of<br />

water, chips, cookies, napkins and hand sanitizer.<br />

Other airlines do not offer any refreshments, but<br />

you can bring your own if you wish. Overall, I<br />

didn’t feel like anyone was taking advantage of<br />

this exception and I myself tried to pull my mask<br />

back up when chewing or between sips of water<br />

to be courteous to others.<br />

At Your Destination<br />

When you’re at your destination, you’ll find that<br />

not much has changed regarding social distancing<br />

and wearing masks. Although you should research<br />

your destination’s specific requirements, there’s<br />

generally not much difference in regulations,<br />

especially in larger cities. However, there are a<br />

few differences you may need to be aware of. For<br />

example, some states, such as Massachusetts,<br />

require either a two-week quarantine OR negative<br />

COVID-19 test results upon entering. Some cities<br />

require mask-wearing outdoors, while others<br />

do not. Some attractions may be open, while<br />

others might be closed. You’ll need to do your<br />

research beforehand in order to make sure<br />

your trip is safe and fun, and that there are no<br />

surprises that could jeopardize your trip.<br />

I think the strangest part of traveling during<br />

COVID is when cities don’t have as strict of<br />

rules as Nashville. For example, I went to a gun<br />

store with my mother in a small town in Texas,<br />

and we were the only ones wearing masks.<br />

This felt alarming to me! My advice in these<br />

situations is, do what you know is right, and<br />

don’t let laxer regulations or other’s disregard<br />

make you question that. Wear a mask, socially<br />

distance, use hand sanitizer and be cognizant<br />

of others, even when others aren’t. If anything,<br />

you should be peer-pressuring others to stay<br />

safe!<br />

If you are traveling to visit family, talk to them<br />

ahead of time about their comfort levels. Do<br />

they want to give hugs or would they rather<br />

give an elbow bump? Will you maintain six<br />

feet of distance the entire time? Will you wear<br />

masks indoors to protect elderly relatives?<br />

There are a lot of considerations to discuss<br />

before your arrival and planning them in<br />

advance will ease discomfort and ensure there<br />

are no awkward situations due to different<br />

expectations of contact.<br />

What to Pack<br />

There are some things I found particularly<br />

helpful when traveling, whether via plane or<br />

car. First, bring extra masks! Although you can<br />

find masks almost anywhere these days, I’d<br />

pack a couple of extras in your luggage in case<br />

you lose one and to swap out when dirty. Also,<br />

I love having hand sanitizer in my bag! I always<br />

feel good when I put it on after touching<br />

door handles or retrieving my luggage from<br />

baggage claim. Another wonderful thing I<br />

discovered were small packs of facial wipes.<br />

Wearing a mask can get hot, especially<br />

when running from one gate to another for a<br />

connection and facial wipes are a nice treat to<br />

have to clean your face and cool you down.<br />

Whether you are traveling by plane, train,<br />

or automobile this holiday season, it’s easier<br />

to stay safe and keep others safe than you<br />

may expect. As stated before, it’s a personal<br />

decision that only you and your family can<br />

make, but it’s a decision that you shouldn’t<br />

feel bad about with the right planning and<br />

precaution. I hope you all have a safe and<br />

enjoyable holiday season and that these tips<br />

can help you as you plan your future travels<br />

during this pandemic.<br />

CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 41


pet focus<br />

®<br />

Page 42 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!


PAWS-ITIVLY<br />

PICTURE PERFECT<br />

Tips and Photo by H.N. James<br />

You can Google “pet photography tips” and get a range of<br />

responses, from authors who assume you have pro-gear to those<br />

who recommend using what you have, including a mobile phone<br />

camera. There are some things I do, though, that you can too — no matter<br />

what kind of camera you’re using or your photographic skill level.<br />

1<br />

Photograph your<br />

pet somewhere that<br />

they are comfortable,<br />

happy and relaxed.<br />

This may be a favorite<br />

outdoor location or<br />

somewhere in your house.<br />

Keep your pet’s personality<br />

in mind and photograph<br />

them doing their favorite<br />

activities. If they’re very<br />

curious, you can set up<br />

an exploration zone with<br />

interesting objects or treats<br />

in them.<br />

2<br />

Be relaxed yourself!<br />

And have patience.<br />

Spend some time<br />

playing with your<br />

pet, petting it, or wait until<br />

they’re just waking up from<br />

a nap and are sleepy.<br />

3<br />

Watch your<br />

background. Look<br />

around the location<br />

where you’re<br />

planning to photograph<br />

your pet and keep it as<br />

simple as possible. Doublecheck<br />

for objects and<br />

clutter in the background<br />

that you might not want<br />

in your photograph.<br />

Get down on their level.<br />

Photograph them at their<br />

eye level, which may require<br />

crouching or even lying<br />

down.<br />

4<br />

Use treats, toys<br />

and noises to get<br />

their attention.<br />

You might want<br />

a helper for this one.<br />

Someone can hold up a<br />

treat beside or behind you<br />

to get the pet’s attention.<br />

5Make sure the eyes<br />

are in focus — just<br />

as you would with<br />

a photograph of a<br />

human. There are several<br />

ways to do this and pets<br />

like to move around! One<br />

way is to get the focus<br />

where you want it, then<br />

grab the pet’s attention<br />

with treats, noises or a<br />

toy. This is another time a<br />

helper is useful.<br />

H is a music and portrait<br />

photographer living and<br />

working near Nashville.<br />

To see her work, visit<br />

punkrockphotography.net<br />

CHEERS! / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / focusmidtenn.com / Page 43


arts+entertainment<br />

WHO TO WATCH ON SCREEN<br />

By Romeo San Vicente | photo courtesy KathClick<br />

“Boys In The Band” star<br />

Robin de Jesús goes “Boom”<br />

What we love most in this life is a real<br />

queen, someone whose flashing discoball<br />

personality you can feel from miles away.<br />

And if you watched the recent Netflix<br />

update of “The Boys In The Band,” you<br />

saw “Camp” star Robin de Jesus, then<br />

you witnessed a queenly performance of<br />

extravagant proportions. Rooting for this<br />

three-time Tony nominated actor is one<br />

of our hobbies and we’re thrilled to see<br />

him included in the cast of the upcoming<br />

directorial debut from Lin-Manuel<br />

Miranda, “Tick, Tick… Boom!” Based on<br />

the semi-autobiographical stage musical<br />

from “Rent” creator Jonathan Larson,<br />

the story concerns an aspiring theater<br />

composer approaching 30 and despairing that he<br />

might not realize his dreams (no spoilers intended, but<br />

we’re going to assume it has a happy ending). The cast<br />

for this one is impressive: de Jesús is joined by Andrew<br />

Garfield, Alexandra Shipp, Vanessa Hudgens, Bradley<br />

Whitford and Judith Light. It’s all just getting underway<br />

right now, so maybe by the time it’s ready to hit a big<br />

screen… well, you know.<br />

Kaley Cuoco takes off in “The Flight Attendant”<br />

Like so many experiences with air travel, “The<br />

Flight Attendant” hit some pretty major turbulence.<br />

The new Kaley Cuoco-starring limited series based<br />

on the novel of the same name by Chris Bohjalian<br />

and executive produced by Greg Berlanti (“Love,<br />

Simon”), was in the middle of shooting its first<br />

season for HBO Max when the COVID shutdown<br />

began. Then in late August production resumed on<br />

the remaining episodes for a future air date. The<br />

story involves Cuoco’s flight attendant waking up in<br />

Dubai on a layover, with a hangover and a dead body<br />

lying next to her. Unable to remember the night<br />

before, she begins to think she might be the killer.<br />

We love a murder mystery and we also love it when<br />

a sitcom powerhouse changes up her career with<br />

something unsavory. The supporting cast includes<br />

Rosie Perez, Bebe Neuwirth, our favorite “Girls” girl<br />

Zosia Mamet and the return of T.R. Knight (“Grey’s<br />

Anatomy”). So we’ll be streaming along when this<br />

one finally arrives, later than expected, sometime in<br />

<strong>Nov</strong>ember.<br />

Tessa Thompson finds Jazz Age<br />

romance in “Sylvie’s Love”<br />

Cue up our enthusiasm for “Sylvie’s<br />

Love.” Written and directed by Eugene<br />

Ashe (director of the 2012 indie feature<br />

“Homecoming”), it stars queer fave<br />

Tessa Thompson and former NFL<br />

All-Pro player-turned-actor Nnamdi<br />

Asomugha as lovers in 1957 New York.<br />

She dreams of working in TV and<br />

he’s a struggling jazz saxophonist.<br />

When circumstances separate them<br />

and pull them in different directions,<br />

they become mutual “One(s) That Got<br />

Away.” Fast forward many years later<br />

to a reunion and one more chance<br />

for romance. The film co-stars Eva<br />

Longoria, Wendi McLendon-Covey<br />

(“The Goldbergs”), Aja Naomi King (“How To Get Away<br />

with Murder”), and Jemima Kirke (“Girls”). Amazon<br />

drops this one on Christmas Day, and with the period<br />

setting and the promise of that kind of only-in-themovies<br />

romance, it sounds like the perfect gift.<br />

Meet Sam Jay, Late Night Host<br />

It’s very possible you aren’t aware of Sam Jay. The<br />

Black lesbian stand-up comic has appeared on Netflix’s<br />

“The Comedy Lineup” and starred in her own Comedy<br />

Central special, before getting her own Netflix standup<br />

special in <strong>2020</strong>, “Sam Jay: 3 in the Morning.” But in<br />

a world of too many TV choices, you might still have<br />

missed her. It’s more likely that you know her work as a<br />

writer on “Saturday Night Live” as the co-creator of the<br />

recurring sketch, “Black Jeopardy.” Well, you’ll soon<br />

be able to see her work on HBO as the host of an asyet-untitled<br />

late night series – one executive produced<br />

by “Insecure” showrunner Prentice Penny – where<br />

she’ll dissect culture and politics from her unique<br />

perspective. Currently, Peacock is streaming another<br />

late night format show hosted by a Black woman, “The<br />

Amber Ruffin Show,” which means all we need now<br />

is for another platform to do the same thing for this<br />

to become the trend it always should have been. For<br />

now at least it’s a welcome future disruption in the late<br />

night world of seemingly endless white dudes. Jay’s<br />

HBO bow takes place sometime in 2021.<br />

Romeo San Vicente, author of the bi-weekly column “Deep<br />

Inside Hollywood,” demands lesbian domination in all areas of<br />

entertainment.<br />

Page 44 / focusmidtenn.com / NOV+DEC <strong>2020</strong> / CHEERS!


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