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made it for you. Bottle green velvet, just like I said.”
Bottle green velvet. “I can’t wear this,” I said. I pulled at the bodice,
fumbling for the buttons. “I can’t wear it. I can’t.”
“Ada.” Susan grabbed my hands. She pulled me to the sofa and set me
down hard beside her, still restraining me. “Ada. What would you say to
Jamie, if I gave him something nice and he said he couldn’t have it? Think.
What would you say?”
Tears were running down my face now. I started to panic. I fought Susan’s
grasp. “I’m not Jamie!” I said. “I’m different, I’ve got the ugly foot, I’m—”
My throat closed over the word rubbish.
“Ada. Ada.” I felt I could hardly hear Susan’s voice. A scream built up
from somewhere inside me, came roaring out in an ocean of sound. Scream
after scream—Jamie running half-dressed down the stairs, Susan pinning
down my arms, holding me against her, holding me tight. Waves of panic hit
me, over and over, turning me and tossing me until I thought I’d drown.