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and tiny spoonfuls of custard sauce over the slices of cake. Susan made me a
new dress from one that had been Becky’s. Bright blue, like the springtime
sky. She gave me a book called The Wind in the Willows. It was an old book,
the cover faded and worn. When I opened it I saw her spidery handwriting on
the flyleaf: Susan Smith. And then beneath that, in fresher ink, To Ada with
love. April 5, 1940.
With love.
“It’s one of my old books,” Susan said, clearing her throat. “I’m sorry, I
couldn’t find a fresh copy in the shops.”
I looked up. “I’d rather have this one,” I said.
Maggie gave me a little carved wooden pony. “It’s silly, it came from our
nursery,” she said, “but I saw it the other day, and I thought it looked like
Butter.”
It did look like Butter—Butter in summer, sleek and trotting through the
grassy fields.
That night I put my new book on the shelf Susan had cleared for us in our
bedroom. I put the pony on the windowsill so I could see him from the bed. I
hung my dress in the wardrobe next to my other clothes.
I had so much. I felt so sad.
Early the next week, Hitler invaded Norway and Denmark. It felt like
England had lost a battle, even though I’d never so much as heard of Norway
or Denmark before. As spring continued, Germany took over Holland and
Belgium as well. Winston Churchill became England’s new prime minister.
The war, which had begun to feel like memories of our flat in London, hazy
and unreal, suddenly came into sharper focus. Susan had always listened to
the news on the radio each evening but now Jamie and I paid close attention
too. There still weren’t bombs, in London or anywhere else, but the Germans
were much nearer to England than they had been. Everyone thought we would
be invaded next. The air force built pillboxes around our airfield, to defend it.
The government gave us seven rules:
1) Do not waste food.
2) Do not talk to strangers.
3) Keep all information to yourself.
4) Always listen to government instructions and carry them out.
5) Report anything suspicious to the police.