Grey Bruce Kids Fall 2021

The parent-child relationship is a complex and unique bond
which every child and parent will experience.
For some, this bond forms instantaneously, while for others it
takes time to flourish. Regardless, its influence on the child’s
personality, life choices, and behaviour create the foundation for
which the child develops emotionally, physically, and socially.
Much like adults, children express and experience love in
different ways. This can bring an additional layer of strain and
challenge into the already difficult responsibility of parenting.
Speaking our child’s ‘love language’ helps them to understand
what it means to be loved unconditionally. Until we take a
moment to pause, to begin to truly understand our children’s
individual love languages, we are only speaking our love to our
child, and they won’t be able to feel it.
Gary Chapman and Dr. Ross Campbell introduced the concept
of love languages in the book The Five Love Languages of
Children. They explain that, like adults, children feel love
through physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service,
gifts, and quality time.
Love language combinations are individual to each child. And
yes, when navigating love languages within a family unit may
be challenging; however, if you focus on the five basic love
languages, it will make an enormous difference in your child’s
sense of being loved.
Five love
languages
PHYSICAL TOUCH
For a child who craves the love language of physical touch, you
may notice them constantly climbing on your lap, asking for
tickle fights or wanting to roughhouse. For most children this
is their primary love language. The presence of physical touch
communicates love to them, even more than praise or gifts.
The key to the language of physical touch is touch beyond the
necessary. Without little pats on the back, a ruffling of their
hair, hugs or kisses, their “love tank” will remain less than full.
The gift of physical touch may become more difficult to give
as children grow into tweens and teens. Depending on their
emotional security, parents may hold back from giving this out
of fear of lashback. Many teens may be resistant to affectionate
touch; however, they still require physical touch as an
affirmation of love. Teen boys are more accepting of a rougher,
more abrasive touch such as wrestling, playfulness, bear hugs,
or high fives. Girls too are open to this type of touch but also
respond to a gentler, more compassionate touch such as a longer
hug.
Expressions of physical touch to
express love include:
• Giving lots of hugs and kisses, letting a smaller child sit on
your lap
• Snuggles
• Spinning round and round
• Reading a book together
• Wrestling, tickle fights
• A playful elbow and smile as you walk by
• Creating a spa night and giving pedicures and manicures to
each other
• High fives or affectionate pats on the back
• Tousling their hair
greybrucekids.com • 5