International School Parent Magazine - Spring 2022

media and the internet adding to the
pressure of how to look and act. Even in
the generation of Malala and Greta, there
are still a number of barriers to teens
understanding and exercising consent:
Peer pressure: Although not a new
phenomenon, peer pressure remains a very
real and dangerous aspect of teenage life.
Information quality: The internet hosts
a flood of information. The issue is not
a lack of information, rather the lack of
good, balanced, and accurate information.
Knowing how to have conversations
about consent with their partners: You
may think teens talk about sex all the time
– and in some cases this is true. However,
chatting to your friends about sex is vastly
different to talking about sexual contact
with a girl- or boyfriend.
Knowing who to talk to: Not every
teen is going to feel comfortable talking
to their parents about issues surrounding
sex. Many feel they do not have a person
they can approach with their questions and
problems.
How to have a conversation about
consent
Talking about consent with our children is
not easy, especially if culturally discussing
sex is somewhat taboo. Although teens
get some sex education at school, it is our
responsibility as parents to ensure the
message is received.
Explaining how consent works is
fundamental and using an analogy is a
good way to simplify this topic. Imagining
something like a car or item of clothing
makes the concept of consent easier to
grasp and clearly illustrates the absurdity of
not asking permission.
Example Analogy: Borrowing a Car
Your friend let you borrow their car last week. The
permission they gave you was for last week only.
To borrow the car this week, you would need to ask
again.
You must get consent every time.
This week the same friend lets you borrow their car
but a few hours later they ask for it back. Maybe
they don’t tell you why they need the car back, but it
is their car, so you return it.
You can take your consent back at any
time.
You ask your friend if you can use their car today.
Your friend says “No”. But you say, “We’re friends,
so you should let me use it!” And even though your
friend really doesn’t want to, they give in and say,
“Okay.” They don’t want to, but they feel like they
have to give you the car.
Putting pressure on someone to agree
is not consent.
Having conversations around sex and
intimacy might be uncomfortable. But they
are necessary. Ultimately, we must empower
our children to make informed choices and
understand their role in the gaining and
giving of consent.
Center for Parent and Teen Communication. (2019, Nov, 25). What is Consent? https://parentandteen.com/what-is-consent/
Disrespect NoBody. (unknown). Recognising Consent. https://www.disrespectnobody.co.uk/consent/signs-to-spot/
Indiana University. (unknown). Consent. https://stopsexualviolence.iu.edu/policies-terms/consent.html
Kidshelpline. (unknown). What is Consent? https://kidshelpline.com.au/teens/issues/what-consent
RAINN. (unknown). What Consent Looks Like. https://www.rainn.org/articles/what-is-consent
Teaching Sexual Health.ca. (unknown). Consent. https://teachingsexualhealth.ca/parents/information-by-topic/understanding-consent/
The Week. (2021, Mar, 15). The ages of consent around the world. https://www.theweek.co.uk/92121/ages-of-consent-around-the-world
INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL PARENT SPRING 2022 | 45