Focus on the Family Magazine - June/July 2022

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COUPLES / COMMITMENT Joyce and Denis renewing their marriage vows for their 10 year anniversary The whole family together in 2019 Joyce and their daughter Jenny Rose in 1983 Their two daughters, Lillian and Jenny, at their cabin in 1984 22 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY JUNE / JULY 2022
COMMITMENT / COUPLES Divorce wasn’t part of the plan; it was the entire plan. The whole separate bedrooms thing lasted maybe a few weeks. Maybe. After all, they were young, living together and legally married. What could possibly be wrong with sharing a bed? The good times were so good that when it came time for Denis to transfer, he chose a discharge rather than leave Joyce behind. “All was fun and games until I got pregnant,” Joyce says. “Denis and I decided we needed to be married for real for the sake of the baby. That decision ruined everything.” Expectations shifted. Priorities changed. Denis had very distinct ideas about what a spouse should do, and Joyce had a few of her own. And when Denis didn’t meet those expectations, she made sure to let him know. They fought without ceasing, Joyce says. The baby came, and they argued. Joyce got out of the military, and they argued. They built a cabin near Healy, Alaska, and they argued. They had a second daughter, and they argued some more. “We argued about everything,” Joyce says. “About parenting the kids. About money, which we didn’t have any of. And all the time we would say—especially me—‘I don’t need you. I’m going to get that divorce we said we were going to get.’ ” They can’t even recall what they disagreed about in December 1983, but it must have been a doozy, because just before Christmas Joyce took the girls and went to see Denis’ parents in Montana. By the time she returned to Alaska in January, the couple were no longer speaking. “We had already agreed prior to her coming back that I was going to leave,” Denis says. “We had been married five years, and I couldn’t believe that I was throwing this away.” Joyce’s bravado evaporated the moment the cabin door shut behind Denis. The harsh reality of her situation presented itself, and hopelessness took over. Denis was still out there in his truck, but Joyce didn’t move. She could have asked him to come back inside, but she didn’t. Pride wouldn’t let her. Fear of rejection wouldn’t allow it. Instead, she crumpled to the floor and wept. How long was Denis out there, sitting in his truck? Maybe 10 minutes. Maybe 30. Neither one remembers for sure. The couple had become Christians a few years prior, mostly out of desperation, but Denis says the Lord’s presence that night was undeniable. All he can say for sure is that God impressed upon him the need to go back. “So I did. I walked back in the house, and I know the tenor of our conversation completely changed that night.” Another chance Joyce remembers Denis opening the door. He asked if they could talk. The old Joyce wanted to say she didn’t need him. The new Joyce felt only relief. “I felt like we were given another chance,” she says. “God met us at that moment.” For once they didn’t argue. Not only did they talk that evening, but they kept on talking. “In those days,” Denis says, “we made two decisions: We were going to take this Christian life seriously, and we were never going to use the word divorce again.” Change came slowly at first, but they were committed to making it work. They had a son in 1984 and another in 1987. They moved to Fairbanks and found a good church and good friends, some of whom introduced them to <strong>Focus</strong> on the Family. “We subscribed to <strong>Focus</strong> on the Family magazine, and I started learning about what it means to be a Christian home,” Joyce says. “Things that were important to the family—eating meals and sharing that time together . . . spending a lot of time with your children and doing family devotions.” Denis can still recall tuning in to the <strong>Focus</strong> radio broadcast every day at 4 p.m. “Believe it or not,” he adds, “I also loved Adventures in Odyssey, and I still listen to it.” Joyce and Denis now have 19 grandchildren and counting. In 2013, several of them were living in Colorado, which gave Joyce the perfect excuse to stop by <strong>Focus</strong> on the Family’s headquarters in Colorado Springs. That visit, she says, brought her to tears. “It was special for me because <strong>Focus</strong> is so much about preserving families and helping them prosper. And my family was one of those.” • HOPE RESTORED No matter what you’re going through, there’s still hope for your marriage! HopeRestoredCanada.ca JUNE / JULY 2022 FOCUS ON THE FAMILY 23
Page 1 and 2: Flirt Your Way to a Better Marriage
Page 3 and 4: JUNE / JULY Contents Couples 13 OUR
Page 5 and 6: Hacks & Facts CLEVER IDEAS FOR SMAR
Page 7 and 8: CLIMBERS / HACKS & FACTS staircase
Page 9 and 10: FAMILY FUN / HACKS & FACTS BUBBLE B
Page 11 and 12: NEW BABY / HACKS & FACTS DAUGHTER D
Page 13 and 14: Couples OUR WEEKLY CONNECTION A mar
Page 15 and 16: CONNECTION / COUPLES Refresh and re
Page 17 and 18: CONNECTION / COUPLES If pillow figh
Page 19 and 20: Acknowledge The first step for over
Page 21: COMMITMENT / COUPLES A business arr
Page 25 and 26: Faith & Inspiration MONKEY CREDIT E
Page 27 and 28: MINISTRY HIGHLIGHT / FAITH & INSPIR
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Focus on the Family Magazine - June/July 2022

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