Mad Magazine #540 GetMad

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YiD- (,uEEI.,0JIE\ 8llff.gA P&A#rP_i)-',0 s.fi ri( FREESWLE SPOI LE R.ALERTINGEach athlete has 30 minutes to reveat a movie's surprise plot twist andruin the film for as many people as possible' Coordination and dexterityare put to the test as the contestants simultaneously tweet, phone' blogand shout out the movie's ending to passersby. The gold medal will go towhichever competitor is beaten most savagely by enraged film lovers.g+.+ #iHl["f,=': i.a :',-Coffee servers from around the world display their skills in avariety of events, including "Most lmaginatively MisspelledName on Coffee Cup," "Avoiding Eye Contact With theCustomer," "Worst Drink OrderMix-up" and "Refusing toPick up the Pace EvenThough There's aLine Lln€ Out out the ;=.Damn Door." i$ii'MARATHON WBINGE-WATCHINGA true marathon for themodern era, competitorslay on couches and bingewatchtheir favorite showsuntil they fall asleeP(or, if they're watchingC-SPAN, pass out fromboredom). Points aretaken off their final scorefor using the bathroom,eating something remotelYhealthy, fast-forwarding .or engaging in any type ),of personal hygiene. 7''..*ri'l-^-, ! l. -,\' *.#a0SKENN.{Y JEANS S&& METER RUNAt the starting gun, athletes wriggle into their tightestand most fashionable jeans. Once the jeans are ruledsufficiently zipped by a Panelof judges, the competitorsattempt to complete the500-meter coursewithout falling orsplitting theirpants,4After having been provided with prescriptions for medicalmarijuana, athletes smoke a crazy amount of weed and then tryto jump without falling down and giggling. The last competitorto remember where they are and what they are doing wins.
qtEET#ft: *APBY l"lEe&lAxaa ARTTSTS: *tC{ *EePY &tr{* J{}SEI*E pETe€*GIThe latest CclptoinAmericq movie issubtitled "Civil Wor"beccuse it pits goodguy agoinst good guy.(Which, so fcrr crs weknow, has never beendone in <r comic-bookmovie!) This is <I boldchoice lor Mqrvel,given Americq's ownCivil Wcr. But whilethe title might seemlike on easy mcrrketingploy to drum upcrttention, there qreplenty oI similcritiesbetween the two con-Ilicts -so mcny thcrtwe hod to compilethem here, with...&IYIMNIffiilYILMNAMERICA'Scrvm urAR...CAPTAIN AMERITAIEIVIL W4fr,.....lasted four yecrs.****************************AMENIGA'Scrvlt wAR...EAPTAIN AMEflIEAgcwlL wAn...... felt like it losted four yecrs.AMERICA'ScrvlL wAn..,EAPTAIN AMEflIEA:ctvtl wAn...... proved thot "waris hell" qs GeneralShermon mcrchedthrough the South.... proved thctmoviegoing is hellcrs the qctors chewedthrough the scenery.... pitted brother agcinstbrother on the bcrttlefield.... pitted nerd cgcrinstnerd on the Internet.
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Mad Magazine #540 GetMad

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