Mad Magazine #540 GetMad

gqHrccK SUSPENSTORTES
My dad, Bentley Little. has been a d"di;tJf;since
1960s andhe gave *" the
r r"ur.ripi#;-ffffilrdayseveral
years. ago. My dad,s a horror writer, and ,i"." ifr"r" i,
llllig.*"* terrifiring tr,",, uaE il;";;ilced
to mention your him
sad excuse fo,
books in_my ^ ^^g^ri.n"i"
ni,
shameless attempt to get free junk. """ Here,s "f
copy of the pase
a
from The coisuttai;;i";;;;t"ns
E. Neuman:
Alfred
Itwas amanwith the face of Atfred E. Neuman.
Chase Simonds . paw pa-, MI
simple simonds
- we have to For years admit that we were relieved to see your letter.
- decades. even._ *",r. t .rroilo
becomin .n'ri*i_rrai.higan g. unhea lthy, bias even that tor rr. ert'ili,li
was
;:
had
;;r1';i
no oih e r .h;i.&;i;
r oo iln th" ;;l#
gin with), [',-#,I,iX! ill;l"::fl 'Jflil search within ourselves il;1;ffir'irrrr,", missive.
L:.
your feilow Wotverine To you
Staters and
considei thi, ;;i,si;i;p in the righting of our
Xi?llj;lllll[ild to arr or vou rifth, M;il;;;;',, there: our prohibiuon
AI.FRED
TOOKALIKE
CorU Danger of Laguna Niguel,
CA sent in this picture of his
son, Elliott
-
a lad who could
onlg be described as .,more
lhan a little Alfred_esque.,,
As with all featured doppel_
g€ngers, we offer our deepest
thanks for sharing, and even
deeper apologies for their lots
in life.
Craig experienced a tingle of fear. He had never liked
the Mad-mwzine mascot. He knew th, fiir, *o,
supposed to be comicol. but there *o, ,o*ritfiin oUor,
that perpetua,y grtnning gap ,;";;;;;';;;; tfrot t ra
always creeped him out ini set lri^ ,"iigJ.'" '' "
It was impossible to tell who was behind the mask.
Emerson Little . Fullerton, CA
Eminemerson
-
We,re not
*$:u*rttirililufriiittt-.ffi you like to know something
;
TRlty terrifying? Alfred
rs a trademarked E.
character-and.yrrii;ti;;{ Neuman
ii'.rllr.riorrtion or
::|ll,gT!y y. rhat rur. frope notsrrot+or-_i,vr'i*'i,
experrence ready
a tingle to
of bankruptcy,,! _Ed.
HIRE I.EARNING
I am a recent collese gr.aduate and in the-process of finding
a job. Now, this is iot',1ust any job, but a high school math
teaching position. I am aski"i ii y." ..Jj b?" *r"r".r.. ro,
me. If anyone calls about me,"h"r;;" _y;;p tirree qualities:
1) Loyalty: I have been a MAD subscriber for the last
three years.
2) Always on time: I have paid for your magazine before
my subscription ends.
3) Patience: I have read every single page of your..wonderful,,
magazine for the last thiee yI"r. " r -*'
Thank you for yow time and please put a good word in for mel
Anthony paldino . Bristolville, Ohio
youR WOE OF SHOWS
I am 12 years old and I.have U""" ,"Jirg frAAD since I was seven.
Recently, I was home ri.t rro_ ,lh;;ffi"dffimach virus and had
to watch an old showwith__y_o*.)i"iiriytrdy Loves Raymond.
It was boring until a funny part came on where Raymond,s brother,s
brother-inJaw gets realy LaJ *rr""i"'ir"ir-i'r, ,"r".,,s throwins
away all the "trash,,thelfind tn hi;;il;.
MAD AX
magazinesl your the trash was magazines rr"
oti
rro., o, o-la fVrur.rrrt
Laila Wilson . Minerva, OH
Wil-son of a Gun
-Even
tl
"boring' and "ord"
- r*:::9lP dismiss Everybodv Loves.Ravmond as
oo"r .irv.ii,i"i.r, #"r'r"tt'"nts
we pretty much agree with
-
th. th;
;1t'#lxx,;id'JJ';ilirl{i',,,*.;:l[fl','Ifi'fi ;x;r*lf ,",.,
nirlt","ru:;ff l;[l'il''Hlf :1ff :?tx5',';,"ffi '*'-i':1,',*ki''
Paldinosaur
- you,ve put us in a very awkward situation. lf we,re
contacted by a potentiat emptoyer (il;;i;;ir';,r,,,
,,r.,
how completely unhire-able you seem), we,re Oulyl66und to teil
the truth. And,_in risht of td irf"rmri;fi;;:'ffi;ided, we
have a very different assessment
"it;;;;,#f;.'.,ffis.
Here are
your most obvious faults.
1) Doesn't tearn from mistakes _ has been a MAD subscriber for
the lastTHREEYEARSI!!
2) Can't wait to waste morley subscription endsl ! I - pays for his magazine before his
3) Unapologetic masochist _.has read EVERY StNGtE PAGE of
our magazine for the last THREE YEARS ! l;
Don't feel too bad _ iust r
trllie,lT:;il;lY;',::ff lffi',lli::'ff :Hfl,,,*t*;