Siouxland Magazine - Volume 5 Issue 3
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Which doesn’t mean not feeling it but allowing<br />
myself to be buoyant within the emotion. I am not<br />
necessarily being carried away by it, nor feeling as<br />
if I am not allowed to experience it at all.<br />
This is where curiosity comes in. Building a curious<br />
nature is extremely helpful in imbibing an answer<br />
to the question of “what do I need right now as<br />
it relates to this feeling - to be with it or to take<br />
action and move beyond it?”. As long as we are<br />
judging ourselves one way or another, we likely<br />
aren’t actually being intimate with any part of our<br />
experience. Shame and judgment are surefire ways<br />
of getting stuck in any situation. Curiosity and an<br />
attitude of playfulness with one’s experience are<br />
the anecdotes to shame. For example, suppose I<br />
am feeling overwhelmed and confused, instead of<br />
judging myself for that experience, I allow another<br />
curious and compassionate part of me to come<br />
“online.” It is not in place of the overwhelming<br />
feelings but with it. This has taken practice and<br />
time to develop this skill. And often, we cannot<br />
learn this until we have been shown it by another<br />
relationship - especially if we didn’t get this level of<br />
co-regulation from our parents growing up. When<br />
we are able to get curious, space opens up. And<br />
when space opens up, emotions and sensations<br />
have somewhere to flow.<br />
If you ever find emotions or sensations becoming<br />
too overwhelming, you should not push or force<br />
yourself to stay with it longer than necessary. A big<br />
part of why our systems have developed a story<br />
that emotions are unsafe is that we have likely<br />
experienced some level of trauma or childhood<br />
conditioning that left us feeling powerless in the<br />
state of our own emotions. I like to help people<br />
feel they have a choice in their experience, and at<br />
any given time - you can choose to comfort yourself<br />
and choose something different - including<br />
reaching out for help. In the depth of this work,<br />
we can become too serious and get overly focused<br />
on the narrative of “healing.” I want to remind you<br />
that your purpose in life is not just to heal, but to<br />
enjoy this life with which we have been blessed.<br />
You can submit your question for “Ask the Therapist”<br />
by visiting jaclynpaulson@gmail.com and sending your<br />
question through the contact page. Please put “Ask the<br />
Therapist” in the subject line.<br />
Jackie Paulson is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in the<br />
state of Iowa. It is her belief that every person has an innate<br />
intelligence within them and can “whole” themselves with<br />
the right support. Jackie offers a holistic and somatic based<br />
therapy practice in Sioux City, IA. Ultimately, she humbly<br />
sits with others in hopes to empower them to seek and<br />
connect into their own deep and sacred wisdom that<br />
resides within. You already have the answers, it is with the<br />
right witnessing and curiosity that the truth is revealed.<br />
<strong>Siouxland</strong> <strong>Magazine</strong> | BeComing /39<br />
There is much more here regarding this topic, but<br />
I will leave it with these three invitations for now.<br />
• Get support. Someone who can clearly mirror for<br />
you your own inner body wisdom.<br />
• Develop the skill of interoception.<br />
• Get curious.<br />
• Don’t forget to play!<br />
With love,<br />
Jackie