Island Parent Resource Guide Vol 35

TWEENS & TEENS
Puberty Survival Kit
One of my most favourite experiences
as a “fun” Auntie to several
fabulous young humans was building
puberty supply kits.
The trial run happened without any
prompting from me (surprising, given
my day job as a sexual health educator!)
when my oldest nephew came to
stay with me for a hockey tournament.
On our way to stock up on snacks of
questionable nutritional value, we were
catching up on life in Grade 5 when my
nephew asked me if I thought he was going
to go through puberty soon?
I responded by telling him that, given
what I know from my job, he was already
in the process.
Did that mean, he asked, if it was time
for some “supplies?”
I asked him what he meant by supplies?
“Deodorant. Body wash. Boxers,” he
replied. “Definitely deodorant. Some of
the guys on my team have been using it
since last year!”
I suggested that maybe we could build
a puberty supply kit together over the
weekend.
The kit quickly became our medium
for easy and comfortable dialogue about
puberty. We spent a considerable amount
of time smell-testing deodorant and body
wash which enabled a talk about how the
“smelly” products do not replace every
day showers.
We talked about how going through
puberty takes a lot of energy and sleep to
keep energy levels up and feelings stable.
I tried to give him a heads up that his
parents really aren’t out of it when they
enforce bedtime, face washing and teeth
brushing!
We talked about how to wash changing
bodies: genitals don’t require soap
on the inside (they’re not dirty!) and just
a bit of mild soap on the outside with a
gentle pull pack and wipe with a cloth if
a penis has foreskin.
We talked about how even when we
take good care of our skin, inevitably
pimples will happen to most people during
puberty and not just on the face but
on sometimes on backs, chest and legs—
especially if someone’s physically active.
We had a great yet brief discussion
about feeling self-conscious about
pimples and how we are often way more
aware and critical of ourselves than others
are! Empathy and grace work with
ourselves, too.
We talked about his love of sports and
how that helps him physically and emotionally
reset and this led us to keeping
sports equipment including skates, cleats
and bags clean and aired out and how
growing up also means taking responsibility
to care for our stuff, for example,
not leaving it to others in our families to
deal with (insert wishful thinking here)!
We laughed about how obvious it is
when we’re not airing the equipment out
because you can smell the funky socks,
running shoes and gloves long before you
see them!
Over the course of the weekend, I encouraged
him to trust his body as it practices
to be an adult through the process
of puberty. Framing puberty through a
practice metaphor helped to surface more
personal topics like erections and wet
dreams, aka nocturnal emissions.
We laughed about how bodies with a
penis practice to be adults, in the form
of random and awkward erections and
wet dreams. We spoke about how to
manage the random erections—a) think
of something else and b) physically move
your body to redirect blood flow—and a
firm reminder that erections aren’t always
connected to sexual feelings.
There was a brief (less comfortable yet
still manageable) exchange about wet
dreams and how if there’s a few drops
of fluid on the inside of boxers/pyjamas/
sheets from your penis in the morning
simply put them in the laundry. We
debated briefs vs boxers for comfort,
preference and testicular health and how
the scrotum needs support during sports
but it’s all about the hang loose/airflow
at night.
Just as importantly, we talked about
the emotional supplies needed during
puberty. This is often a conversation that
gets most often missed with our maleidentifying
youth and yet it’s vital to their
well-being. What supplies/tools aka coping
mechanisms are needed to manage
the emotional and social changes ahead;
the moments that feel too big, too hard,
too frustrating or too confusing? What
tools already work for him? Is it shooting
hoops in the driveway when your sister
annoys you? Is it going for a rip on your
bike because you got a low mark on your
socials test? Is it gaming because you feel
you need an escape? Is it playing with the
dog because you’re anxious? These are
the tools that we need to be reminded of
as we gather the supplies to practice to
be an adult! Did we cover every facet of
puberty in two days? Absolutely not but
that’s what follow up visits with fun Auntie
are for, right?
Jennifer Gibson, MA,
is also known as “The Sex
Lady”— for close to 20 years
in Greater Victoria!—to the
thousands of amazing youth
and adults she is lucky to
educate and learn with
through her job as the Coordinator of Community
Education at Island Sexual Health. She’s
passionate about making sexuality education as
positive, fun and non-cringe-able as possible.
46 Island Parent Magazine IslandParent.ca