Island Parent Fall 2023

FALL 2023 

Vancouver Island’s Parenting Resource for 35 Years 

FREE COPY 

Out & About in 

NATURE 

Rain or Shine! 

The Cool of 

Volunteering 

at School 

Lessons from 

a Little Kid 

Inside:

Preschool for today’s child 

...and tomorrow’s inner child. 

• 

FA M I LY • FAVO U R I T E S 

NOMINEE 

2023 

FULL DAY 

Program 

starting Fall 

2023! 

Children possess boundless imagination, 

perfect openness to the world 

and all its beauty, and the inborn idea 

that anything is possible. We believe 

that these wonderful gifts should not 

fade with age. 

With an innovative program enriched 

by music, dance, theatre and visual 

arts, our goal is to enable children 

to fully explore and express these 

gifts in an endless variety of ways. 

Inspiring and nurturing today’s child 

firmly implants their future inner child 

– that playfulness, creativity, vision and 

confidence that will enable them to 

realize their dreams. 

Pre-K to Grade 12 www.ArtsCalibre.ca 250-382-3533 

“When I examine myself and my method of 

thought, I come to the conclusion that the 

gift of fantasy has meant more to me than 

my talent for absorbing knowledge.” 

– Albert Einstein 

2 Island Parent Magazine IslandParent.ca

IslandParent.ca 

Fall 2023 3

INTHISISSUE 

6 10 

Need to Know 

9 

FALL2023 

I ❤ Island Out & About in Nature 

Jim Schneider 

Publisher 

publisher@islandparent.ca 

Sue Fast 

Editor 

editor@islandparent.ca 

RaeLeigh Buchanan 

Account Manager 

raeleigh@islandparent.ca 

12 

Set Kids Up for Success 

18 

Giving Back 

14 

Lessons from a Little Kid 

20 

Kids’ Reads 

16 

22 

Always Half Full 

Cut It Out! 

Kristine Wickheim 

Account Manager 

kristine@islandparent.ca 

Island Parent Magazine, published by 

Island Parent Group Enterprises Ltd., is 

a bimonthly publication that honours and 

supports parents by providing information 

on resources and businesses for Vancouver 

Island families. Views expressed are not 

necessarily those of the publisher. No material 

herein may be reproduced without the 

permission of the publisher. Island Parent is 

distributed free in selected areas. Annual 

mail subscriptions (7 issues) are available 

for $21 (GST included). Canadian Publication 

Mail Product Sales Agreement 40051398. 

ISSN 0838-5505. 

For distribution inquiries, please email 

publisher@islandparent.ca 

Island Parent Magazine 

518 Caselton Place 

Victoria, BC V8Z 7Y5 

250 388 6905 

A proud member of 

24 

26 

28 

What’s for Dinner 

Mom’s POV 

Dad Speak 


twitter.com/IslandParent 

facebook.com/IslandParent 

34 

36 

38 

instagram.com/islandparent 

Discord 

Navigating Conflict 

Be a Role Model 


FASTFORWARD 

Giving Thanks 

out with people who love hanging out with 

their kids.” 

“Hang 

That’s still one of the best pieces of parenting 

advice I’ve ever received—as relevant now as it was when I first 

heard it years ago. 

Whether it’s hanging out over coffee in those early first days, 

or at a post-natal yoga class a few months later, or on a playground 

racing around after your teetering toddlers, being with 

other parents who love being with their kids is contagious. It 

makes everything that much more fun. And, when we need it, 

that much more bearable. It lets you know you’re not alone, 

that you’re part of a supportive and bigger community. 

Like Island Parent. 

What an honour, for the past 25+ years, to be part of such a 

supportive, inclusive and vibrant community that makes up the 

Island Parent family: the readers, the writers and my colleagues 

at the magazine. Thanks to you, we’ve heard each other’s stories, 

lent our ears, shared wisdom, offered our hearts, spilled 

our tears, told jokes, swapped recipes, suggested places to go 

and things to do and dished out an occasional word or two of 

advice. 

To say that I’ve loved hanging out with all of you would be 

an understatement. 

So it is with a heavy yet grateful heart that I say farewell. I 

am so thankful to have been part of the Island Parent community 

for all these years and now, with four adult children—and 

four grandchildren!—look forward to remaining part of that 

community…but in a whole new way! 

Thank you for hanging out with me at Island Parent, for letting 

me hang out with all of you, for your contributions, your 

comments and for your connection. I’ve loved and always will 

love being part of the community and look forward to watching 

it grow. 

– Sue Fast 

BIG 

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NEEDTOKNOW 

Explore 

Spooky 

Victoria 

Explore the spooky side of Victoria 

on a special Halloween edition 

Ghostly Walking Tour! These hourlong 

walking tours, suitable for adults 

and kids, are the perfect way to get 

you in the Halloween Spirit. The special 

Halloween tours start in Market 

Square and tell you all the spooktacular 

tales of Victoria’s past—and 

current—hauntings as you weave 

through our fine city. Even if you’ve 

done a ghostly tour before, the route 

changes every year, and you never 

know what spooky new things you’ll 

learn! For more information and to 

book your tickets visit discoverthepast.com/ghostly-walks. 

Top 10 

Threats 

to Kids in 

Canada 

The annual Raising Canada report 

tracks the top 10 threats to childhood 

and highlights emerging 

threats like technology misuse and 

cross-cutting themes like access 

to healthcare and social services. 

Among the key findings: half of 

Canadian youth experienced depression 

during the pandemic, and 

incidences of child violence, poverty 

and racism have increased significantly 

over the previous year. Given 

the ongoing rise of inflation, it’s also 

not surprising that food insecurity 

among young people increased by 

29 percent. To read the full report, 

visit childrenfirstcanada.org. 


Your Online 

Mommy 

BFFs 

Real-life best friend and mom 

duo Kristin Gallant and Deena Margolin 

(the founders behind Big Little 

Feelings) have launched a new 

podcast. “After Bedtime with Big 

Little Feelings” is kind of like the 

“mommy group” you wish you had— 

one where you show up after a long 

ass day of parenting, with spit up 

on you, in sweatpants with a wild 

mom bun, and you talk about allllll 

the things we’re all experiencing 

as parents that no one talks about, 

along with all the “taboo” topics— 

marriages changing after kids, miscarriage, 

feeling like a failure, sex 

drive, guilt—in a real/raw way that 

leaves you feeling less alone and 

more empowered by the end 

of each episode. 

podcasts.apple.com 

I am proud 

to continue 

my support 

of parents, 

families and 

youth in 

Oak Bay- 

Gordon Head. 

MLA Murray Rankin 

Oak Bay – Gordon Head 

Murray.Rankin.MLA@leg.bc.ca 250-472-8528 



Nature 

in Action 

Between mid-October and mid- 

December every year, millions of 

Pacific salmon make their way up the 

streams of the Pacific northwest to 

spawn and eventually die. One of the 

very best places to see these beautiful 

salmon fighting their way up the 

stream is in Goldstream Park. Stand 

and watch quietly to see the various 

ways the salmon make their way upstream—some 

alone, some in pairs. 

You may see a female select their 

spawning space and dig the hole by 

turning on her side and whipping her 

tail into the gravel. No one is really 

sure why and how they make their 

way back to their parent streams to 

spawn, but it truly is mesmerizing to 

watch them. See how many kinds 

of salmon you can spot! 

goldstreampark.com/salmon.htm 

GVPL 

Writing 

Challenge 

Want to win a gift certificate to 

Russell Books? If you’re over the age 

of 13 and living in Victoria, you still 

have time to enter the tiny stories 

contest for your chance to win! Tiny 

stories are composed of 450 characters 

or less (excluding the title). 

And yes, characters, not words. This 

means every letter, space, punctuation 

mark is a character and counts 

towards that 450 count. Pick up your 

tiny stories postcard at any Greater 

Victoria Public Library branch and 

challenge yourself to write your own 

original story. Simply mail it in or 

drop it off at your local branch by 

October 21. You can enter up to 3 

times. Full details at gvpl.ca. 


I ❤ ISLAND 

Blurb? 

Jenny Marie’s Crackers 

Go crackers for these handmade crackers! These 

yummy crackers come in a variety of flavours and 

make an awesome vessel for anything from jam 

to tuna, to…whatever you crave! They’re even 

delicious on their own. Made in Victoria, you can 

find them at local markets, in grocery stores or 

online. 

jennymariescrackers.com 

Yeshi Dressings 

Surprise your taste buds! Yeshi Foods is an island 

owned, family business dedicated to making 

gluten free food taste delicious! Find these tasty, 

innovative, nutrient rich dressings and other products 

in stores near you or online. 

yeshifoods.com 

Louis Pasture Pork Crisps 

Crunch those cravings! In 2015 two Vancouver 

Island sisters created these protein-rich snacks to 

satisfy the cravings for salty snacks while still following 

the Paleo diet. Using local, ethically raised 

pork, these tasty snacks can be found at the Duncan 

Farmers Market, in some stores or online. 

primalsisters.com 

• 


WINNER 




NATURENOTES 

Out & About in Nature: 

Rain or Shine! 

As the days get shorter and the sun disappears behind the 

trees earlier each day, it’s lovely (and easy!) to stay hunkered 

inside with a hot drink and a fuzzy blanket. Maybe you 

have a book that you can’t put down, a show that ends on a 

cliffhanger each episode or a knitting project for yourself or a 

special someone. If you asked my partner, he’d say my happy 

place is nestled under the blanket on the couch with a good 

book. And if you asked me, I’d agree! But it is just one of my 

happy places—I also love being outdoors and experiencing 

nature in all seasons. 

Whether sunny, cloudy or rainy, I know that being outside 

in nature helps my mental and physical health. And numerous 

studies show the benefits of spending time in nature, which 

include lowered stress levels, improvements in mood and 

emotional wellbeing, and restored capacity for concentration 

and attention, just to name a few! I’m fortunate to live in the 

southern Vancouver Island region, where we have numerous 

regional parks and trails to explore. The following are some 

of my favourites for families to explore in the fall and winter. 

Sooke Potholes Regional Park 

Sooke Potholes Regional Park, as the name suggests, has 

fascinating potholes to view, and in the wet winter months 

impressive river flow and rapids to marvel at. The potholes in 

the river are unique geological formations (deep pools within 

the river rock) that were formed by large boulders stuck in 

the river. These boulders were swirled around and around 

and created the potholes, which in many areas are surrounded 

steep bedrock cliffs, created by glacial erosion thousands of 

years ago. In the fall, there are some great trails to hike and 

the Sooke River is home to an annual salmon run. The river 

itself is the second largest on southern Vancouver Island and 

the sandy area just down from Parking Lot 1 offers a prime 

Save the date! 

Sunday, December 10, 2023 

• Decadent brunch buffet 

• Two seatings available 

• Pajamas & onesies encouraged! 

• Visit from Santa 

• Festive activities 

• Tickets on sale October 30 at 

islandkidsfirst.com 


spot to view the salmon as they prepare for spawning. Keep 

your eyes peeled for that splash of water as the salmon make 

their way up the river! 

Island View Beach Regional Park 

If you’re feeling more “flighty” than “fishy,” head to Island 

View Beach Regional Park in Central Saanich for some birding 

opportunities. The trail next to the beach is accessible and 

offers views of the shoreline, the Gulf and San Juan Islands, 

and even Mount Baker on a clear day! Fall is a great time of 

year to go birding with or without binoculars. Many waterfowl 

are migrating south for the winter (some as far south as 

Argentina!) and Island View Beach can provide a place for 

these birds to rest and eat before journeying on. Check out 

ebird.ca to see recent bird sightings in the area and help you 

know what to look for! 

Devonian Regional Park 

If you’re in the mood for something other than animals, 

travel to one of the CRD’s smaller parks, Devonian Regional 

Park, to check out trees like our native Garry oak. Ever since 

I was a kid, I’ve loved seeing the sprawling branches of the 

oak trees. Something about them reminded me of fairy tales 

and as I grew older, I admired them not just for their beauty 

but for their strength and perseverance. Oak trees and their 

ecosystems in BC are rare and endangered in BC—less than 

5% of their ecosystem is remaining intact. But they are home 

to more species-at-risk than any other ecosystem, including 

Howell’s triteleia (a beautiful wildflower), sharp-tailed snakes 

(smallest snake species in BC) and the propertius dusky-wing 

butterfly (a butterfly completely dependent on Garry oak trees 

for survival). Visiting parks like Devonian remind me of the 

importance of having parks to protect ecosystems like these. 

Whichever regional park you and your family explore, take 

time to enjoy the sights, sounds and smells of what’s around. 

Marvel at the big stuff and feel in awe of nature. Then take 

time to zoom in and appreciate the small stuff and be filled 

with amazement at the whole other mini world that lies beneath 

your feet. Always remember that staying on trail helps 

protect these animals and plants—big and small—for me, you 

and future generations to enjoy. Whether that’s in just a few 

months with wildflowers blooming or in years to come with 

future oak trees looming overhead. 

One thing is for sure—rain or shine this fall, I’ll be out and 

about in nature! How about you? 

Lauren Sherwood is a Parks Naturalist with the 

Capital Regional District. She enjoys being out in nature 

with family and friends of all ages, rain or shine. 

For more information about Regional Parks programs 

visit crd.bc.ca/park-events. 



LEARN 

Setting Kids Up 

for Success at School 

Relationships are crucial for human development. It’s attachment 

that tethers us together and it’s our greatest 

need: to belong, to be “gotten,” to love, to feel significant 

and to feel sameness. 

Parents can start by taking responsibility to preserve the 

relationship so children can let go and be themselves. When 

we meet the attachment and dependency needs of our kids, 

they emerge as viable, separate beings. How? 

• Help children feel safe at home to experience all their big 

feelings. When home is an easy place to have their tears, kids 

are better able to navigate mistakes, failures and disappointments—for 

example, not getting the red crayon or not getting 

to play with a friend at recess. 

• Encourage play so kids may naturally work through 

worries and stresses while expressing and discharging big 

feelings. Settling back into the routine of school is a big 

transition for kids (and parents). Make space for all the feelings—excitement, 

anxiety, worry, frustration. Keep your after-school 

activities simple. Hopefully now you’re settled into 

the new routine and have come to terms with saying goodbye 

to your summer selves. Prioritize time for rest and play. 

• Ensure proper sleep. Sleep is restorative. If you must 

wake your child in the morning, they aren’t getting enough 

sleep. 

• Eat well. Healthy diets can help prevent “hangry” kids. 

• Establish routines. Routines can help kids feel connected 

because they know how the day will unfold. 

• Take charge of health, safety, boundaries, and support 

good decision making. Set limits with confidence so children 

can rest in knowing we’ll take care of them. 

• Understand that upset is normal and take responsibility 

for preserving your relationship with your child. 

• Lead with empathy, delight in your child, allow them to 

exist in your presence and don’t take things personally. 

Parents will likely have a range of feelings about “Will my 

child behave in school?” And “What can we do to set them 

up for success?” 

According to psychologist and author Gordon Neufeld, 

there are six traits of well-behaved children that can’t be 

taught and must be grown. 

1. Children should want to be good for the people they are 

attached to and resist orders from those they are not. 


2. Children are easily alarmed. A healthy alarm system 

moves a child to caution and makes them conscientious and 

concerned about their actions. 

3. Children feel futility. They can adapt to not getting their 

way, accept another’s decision and adjust to the limits and 

restrictions in their life. 

4. Children are appropriately attached to adults. These 

adults are role models and share similar values. 

5. Children are well intentioned. They can form their own 

goals and agendas. 

6. Children are well tempered. They have self-control. 

They can think twice! (This needs prefrontal brain integration 

which doesn’t happen until 5-7 years old and later for 

sensitive kids.) 

Kids are teachable because they have a fulfilling relationship 

with someone. Parents can help attach their child to the 

teacher who will be their compass. We can play matchmaker! 

“When kids see that their parents like their school and 

teacher, it can go a long way to helping them trust their 

adults at school, says clinical counsellor and author Dr. Deborah 

MacNamara. 

• AN ENGAGING EDUCATION 

• AN INCLUSIVE COMMUNITY 

• BEFORE AND AFTER-SCHOOL CARE 

ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS FOR 2024 

Play is NOT work. There is no outcome. 

It’s ‘a spontaneous activity that cannot 

Christ Church Cathedral School 

Victoria’s Anglican School for Jr. K – Grade 8 

be taught or commanded.’ 

– Dr. Gordon Neufeld www.cathedralschool.ca | 250-383-5125 

“Parents need to take an active role and play matchmaker 

with the teacher by speaking with warmth about the teacher, 

conveying trust in them, orienting them to the school culture 

and rules and ensuring that the relationship with their teacher 

stays on track,” adds MacNamara. “Kids do best when 

adults take the lead in introducing them to the people that 

will take care of them. It provides both security and a sense 

of rest so that the focus can go towards learning.” 

Create and seize opportunities to matchmake your child to 

their teacher and their wider school community. 

Get to know your school community 

• Find your school Parent Advisory Council (PAC) social 

media page or other platforms to connect and inform families. 

• Attend school events. 

• Join the PAC! Everyone can find a meaningful way to 

contribute. Volunteering is a great way to meet other parents, 

contribute to school culture and offer hands-on help. 

Cultivating even one or two important connections will go 

a long way. 

Lindsay Coulter is a writer, educator, facilitator, 

naturalist, community catalyst, soul activist, mentor, 

and dedicated mother of two. She’s the Director of 

Communications, Culture and Community at EPIC 

Learning Centre, a forest and nature school in Victoria. 

Find her @SaneAction on Instagram and Facebook. 



PARENTING 

Lessons from 

a Little Kid 

My daughter started Kindergarten this year. Now, a few 

months in, I have accepted that she is no longer a little 

kid. Not a really little kid at least. She’s way past diapers, 

past the terrible twos. Teething is a distant memory. Naps 

vanished long ago. All those baby accessories—the BabyBjorn, 

the Diaper Genie, the Exersaucer have long since been 

cleared out and donated. But as I embrace my not-so-little 

kid, I think of everything her babyhood and toddlerhood 

has taught me—not about parenting, but about how I navigate 

my own life as an adult. 

Here are a few things my daughter’s early years taught 

me: 

Sleep is everything. 

This was the biggest lesson from the newborn stage, when 

the midwife came over one day and asked me if I knew how 

to nap. I did not. I do now. A well rested child is a happy 

child. A late bedtime for a toddler can wreak havoc for days 

to come. And adults? Just the same. It’s so much easier to 

fall apart on a bad night’s sleep. So much easier to snap at 

your partner when you’re tired. So much easier for a little 

thing to push you to tears. Sleep will save you and not 

enough of it will pull you under. 

Do not back down. 

I can’t tell you how many times my daughter threw a fit 

because she didn’t want to have a bath, or go to bed, or 

leave the playground or try going to the bathroom before 

bed and I’d think to myself—wow this is both very annoying 

and very impressive. I wish I had this kind of resolve 

when I present an idea in a meeting rather than saying “just 

a thought…” or when no one offers to make Turkey dinner 

for Thanksgiving and suddenly I’m hosting. Little kids will 

stand their ground, tear-streaked face, thrashing legs, violent 

arms and all. And adults? We need to do the same (only 

without the screaming fits). 


Pull out the fancy. 

I was surprised how young my daughter was when she 

gravitated towards anything shiny. Sparkly shirts, tutus, 

blow up floaties filled with glitter, glitter itself. How she 

loved dressing up and how she’d stop and gasp on the rare 

occasions I wore a dress. Mommy you look beautiful! Sparkles 

may not be everyone’s idea of fancy, but appreciating 

the beauty around us and seeking it out never gets old. 

Make it fun. 

Washing your hair is boring. Unless you sing a song while 

lathering cherry flavoured Little Mermaid shampoo. Why 

use mint toothpaste when it can be bubble gum flavoured 

and covered in Minions? Why just have a bagel when you 

can cut it in half, add grape eyes and make it into a smiley 

face? Too much of adulthood is drudgery. Bring on the silliness! 

Say it how it is. 

My niece once said I like Nanna better than Grandma. 

To Grandma. This isn’t the best example of honesty but 

between my daughter’s why do you have lines on your forehead? 

to her why do you put pokey things in your eyes? 

her opinions were always clear. No bending herself backwards 

to placate others, no walking on eggshells around the 

grumpy guy at work, no offering to do things she doesn’t 

want to do. Little kids are brutally honest. As we grow up, 

we learn what’s expected of us, sometimes at the expense of 

our true selves. 

There was a point during Covid when my daughter 

started saying just a minute every time I asked her to do 

something and insisted on sending imaginary emails before 

we left the house. I was both amused and mortified at how 

she was imitating us. But it goes both ways—just as kids 

learn from the adults around them, adults can absorb all the 

childhood wisdom we’ve forgotten over the years. We can 

be reminded of finding joy, living authentically and taking 

care of ourselves. When we see what works and doesn’t for 

kids, it helps us to reflect on our own lives. 

Now grown-ups, it’s time to put yourself down for a nap, 

break out the finery and tell your boss how you really feel. 

41 st Peninsula Co-op 

Santa Claus Parade 

November 25, 2023, 5:20 pm 

For full 

details visit 

gvfs.ca 

Julia Mais is a policy and communications 

professional in Victoria. She looks for beauty in 

the everyday through writing, photography and 

the outdoors. She lives in a messy, cheese-filled 

home with her husband and preschooler. 



DADSPEAK 

Always 

Half 

Full 

Because of the tyranny of print 

publication schedules and my own 

relentless urge to be ahead of the 

game, I’m writing this in mid-August, 

and here you are reading it, like, six 

months later. But, this is fresh on my 

mind so work with me for a minute, even 

though it’s old news to you. 

I decided this year to not wait until the 

last minute to get school supplies, even 

though no one wants to think about the 

return of school in early August. But I did 

(maybe my teenage daughter refers to me 

as Danny Tanner for a reason), and I was 

blown away by my own planning skills. 

I saw a note I had left to myself that 

Get back 

to your 

favourite 

activities. 

Registration 

is open for 

City of Victoria 

fall recreation. 

victoria.ca/recreation 


said “look in bag in office,” so I stumbled 

into the office, found an unusual bag that 

had a note on it that said “school supplies 

to reuse for Grade 7,” then crossreferenced 

the school supply list and 

found that, much to my pleasure, I need 

to buy a grand total of two things, everything 

else is still good from Grade 6. (Do 

I bother buying the second eraser and 

second fine-tip black felt marker or do I 

just wing it, and allow myself a summer 

of buying zero school supplies? I’d like to 

say I just wing it but the Danny Tanner in 

me didn’t not allow that: I bought them. 

So what’s the point here? Leave yourself 

notes that you’ll forget about then 

read months later as if someone else 

wrote them, leading you around the 

house on a scavenger hunt of sorts? Well, 

yeah, that was weird and awesome and 

I felt pretty good about it. Be organized 

and do stuff early? Always, but that’s 

pretty lame and no one wants to hear it. 

Something about back to school? No, 

that was like a month ago by the time 

you read this. 

My point is, man, did I ever have a 

secret little smile on my face the evening 

this all went down. No one knew what I 

was doing, probably no one cared, but it 

was just...a win. Take ‘em where you can, 

I figure. As a dad—as a parent—you can 

go through long stretches without those 

wins. Not that life is a miserable slog, but 

just that it’s go, go, go, and it can be an 

uphill battle sometimes. 

But don’t dwell on that. I’ve been making 

the mistake of zoning out on social 

media a bit lately, doing the hatescroll, 

just watching everyone be miserable and 

hate everything. I’ll do it for 10 minutes, 

snap out of it, and feel horribly embarrassed 

for wasting my time. My only 

takeaway is that there’s a lot of people 

out there seeing the cup half empty. 

And no matter how hard it gets, no 

matter the struggles—personal, private, 

public, major, or minor—that we 

face as parents, I refuse to see the cup 

as half empty. Even during the hardest 

times—housing issues, medical diagnoses, 

moments of defeat—I’ll stick that note 

somewhere secret to remind myself that 

there will be brighter days ahead (that 

note is metaphorical, of course; even 

Danny Tanner here has his limits). 

I mean, there always are brighter days 

ahead, more victories down the road. 

And sometimes they’re just small victories. 

Sometimes it’s just reusing two 

orange duotangs from Grade 6 for Grade 

7. But they were in great shape, man, and 

it almost made me pump my first in the 

air in victory. 

And it’s not much, at all. By the time 

this is in print, I’ll probably barely 

remember any of this happening, too 

caught up in whatever else is happening, 

whatever parenting ups and downs have 

me by the throat at that particular point 

in time. But here and now, the orange 

duotangs are a reminder that there are 

always moments of victory to be found, 

you sometimes just have to work a bit 

to find them, and sometimes you have to 

make them happen yourself. 

Greg Pratt is the father of three 

children and a local journalist and 

editor. His writing has appeared 

in, among other places, Today’s 

Parent, Decibel and Douglas. He 

is @gregprattwriter on Twitter. 

• 

NOMINEE 


FA M I LY 

• 

FAVO U R I T E S 



LEARN 

Giving Back 

A measure of wealth through an Indigenous lens 

While often described as celebrations, festivals and/or 

feasts, the Potlatch tradition of the Pacific Northwest 

Coast Indigenous Peoples is so much more. The Potlatch tradition 

is about acknowledging the past while embracing the 

future. It instills pride and respect for time-honoured cultural 

practices. But more importantly, it inspires a deep sense of connection 

to community. 

The word Potlatch (Ṕačiƛ – Patshalt) comes from the language 

of the Nuu chah nulth Peoples of the west coast of Vancouver 

Island and aptly means “to give.” It was during the fur 

trade era when Potlatch became the generic term used in reference 

to cultural gatherings through a trading language known 

as the Chinook Jargon. 

Potlatch is also sometimes confused with the word, Potluck, 

which originated in England. It was said that if you arrived 

after the dinner hour, you were lucky to get whatever was left 

at the bottom of the pot. Today it is a term used to describe a 

gathering where everyone is bringing and sharing food together, 

which may have understandably, contributed to the confusion. 

A Potlatch is a large gathering hosted by Indigenous community 

leaders where invited guests attend as witnesses to substantial 

events. These include, but are not limited to, the raising 

of a totem pole, the passing down of hereditary rights and 

names, the validation of marriage alliances and the honouring 

of individuals who have passed on. Practiced in diverse ways by 

all Indigenous Peoples inhabiting the Pacific Northwest Coast 

from Washington State northwards to the southeastern coast of 

Alaska, the Potlatch is the pivotal social event. 

During these occasions, the host displays their wealth in the 

form of songs, masks, and dances, and by presenting gifts to 

their guests. The more they give away, the more prestige they 

acquire. An Elder from the Kwagiulth – Kwakwaka’wakw Nation 

was quoted as saying, “A person potlatches to share his 

wealth. There is no honour or virtue in keeping your wealth…” 

writes Edward Malin in Masks & Totems: A Northcoast Odyssey. 

Therefore, a leader’s wealth is determined by how well they 

provide for their community, as opposed to personal gain. This 

way of thinking supports the origin stories of potlatches as being 

a means to evenly distribute food and resources throughout 

a village. Over the course of countless generations, the Potlatch 

evolved to become the crucial point of coastal cultural practices. 

Potlatches also serve as reminders of creation stories, historic 

events or occurrences like floods, earthquakes, and droughts. 

In this instance, masks and dances are used for the re-telling 

of the story and the portrayal of heroes who looked after their 

people during these challenging times. This theatrical display 

encourages community members to be grateful for each day, 

while inspiring youth to contribute to the well-being of their 

communities. 


It is often the traditional role of 

grandparents to encourage, inspire and 

preserve the valuable lessons learned 

through the Potlatch. In fact, some coastal 

territories acknowledge grandparents 

as “Wisdom Keepers” who share their 

life experiences and knowledge with the 

intention of providing guidance, support 

and encouragement. It also serves as an 

opportunity to “give back” to the upcoming 

generations. 

I was fortunate to have these teachers 

throughout my youth and appreciated 

that, no matter the challenge, I could 

always rely on their gentle guidance to 

lift me up and set me back on a healthy 

and fulfilling path. I am also grateful to 

have had the opportunity to attend and 

participate in many Potlatches over the 

years and still feel the deep resonance of 

history reiterating the past while embracing 

the future. It has inspired me to want 

to “give back” and although I do not live 

within my traditional territory, there is 

opportunity to provide Indigenous perspectives 

within urban populations by 

inviting the public to consider education 

through an Indigenous lens. 

I am now grandmother to eight beautiful 

grandchildren, and l look forward to 

watching their faces when the sound of 

the drums, crackle of the fire and pageantry 

of dancers awaken their curiosity. 

For up-to-date information on CRD 

Regional Parks and its programs, visit 

crd.bc.ca/parks-events. 

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significance for these Nations and provide 

important food, medicine and spiritual places. 



KIDS’READS 

A Little Bit of Joy, 

Warmth & Self-Love 

Even though the school year is no longer brand new, it 

can still be stressful for children. So it’s important for 

us to take time to check in with them and see how they 

are doing. However, you might have noticed that kids aren’t 

always the best at explaining what’s wrong, and we don’t 

want to step on their toes by just jumping into a conversation 

if they haven’t said anything. 

So, it might be a good idea to use a book as a starting 

point. That way you can read about a child who is having a 

particular problem, talk about what your child would do if 

they were in that situation, and then ask them if they’re struggling 

with something they would like help with. If you don’t 

have any books that your child would be interested in, here 

are a few books that I think would be a great starting point. 

The first is I’m Not (Very) Afraid of the Dark by Anna Milbourne 

and illustrated by Daniel Rieley (Usborne, 2023). As 

the title suggests, the young protagonist is only slightly afraid 

of the dark, but they are not willing to say so out loud. But 

when the sun sets and it gets darker, it’s harder for him to pretend 

he isn’t scared. This fun book is filled with the gorgeous 

and interactive pictures I’ve come to expect from Usborne. Rieley’s 

work is impeccable and filled with magic, so make sure 

you read this story with a flashlight nearby. That way you can 

shine light through all of the cut outs and see what the main 

character sees. For ages 4 to 8. 

If you think your child is struggling with sadness instead of 

fear, His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso and 

Desmond Mpilo Tutu, the Archbishop Emeritus of South Africa 

have created a little picture book called The Little Book 

of Joy, illustrated by Rafael López (Crown Books for Young 

Readers, 2022). While this wouldn’t be a good book if your 

child has clinical depression, because we don’t want to tell 

them to just be happy, it is a good reminder that there is a reason 

to be joyful all around us. And this story reminds us that 

when we find joy we should share it with others so together 

we can make the world a brighter place. For ages 4 to 8. 

Another emotion that you might notice if your children are 

stressed is anger. If that’s the case, I recommend getting Anger 

Management Activities for Kids by Holly Forman-Patel and illustrated 

by Claudio Cerri (Rockridge Press, 2020). Unlike the 

previous two books on the list, this is not a story, it is a selfhelp 

book for children. There are a variety of activities and 

lessons in it to help you and your child learn why we get angry 

in the first place, discover how to stop the anger monsters 

Christina Van Starkenburg lives in Victoria with 

her husband, children and cat. She is the author of One 

Tiny Turtle: A Story You Can Colour and many articles. 

To read more of her work and learn about her 

upcoming books visit christinavanstarkenburg.com. 

Facebook: facebook.com/christinavanstarkenburg 

and Twitter: @Christina_VanS. 


local innovative theatre 

from multiplying, and failing that, create effective strategies to 

release those anger monsters in a healthy manner. The pictures 

in this book are adorable, and the cuteness helps children remember 

that anger monsters and their buddies aren’t bad they 

just need special attention. For ages 5 to 9. 

While I would love for this to never be the case, one thing 

that might be stressing our children out is bullies. Bullies can 

decimate our kids’ self-esteem, and it can be really tough to 

rebuild that. If you think your child is struggling with a bully, 

or with low self-esteem in general, check out A Kids Book 

About Self-Love by Brandon Farbstein (A Kids Co., 2021). 

Farbstein understands what it feels like to be bullied because 

of your appearance, and what it feels like to dislike yourself, 

which is why he wrote this book about self-love: what it 

looks like, what it feels like, and how to start loving yourself. 

There are no pictures in this book, but don’t let that deter you 

because Farbstein’s writing style is comforting and conversational 

so it won’t be hard for children to remain engaged. For 

ages 5 to 9. 

The last book is What You Need to Be Warm: A Poem of 

Welcome by Neil Gaiman and many others (Quill Tree Books, 

2023). As Gaiman explains in the foreword, this is a collaborative 

poem; he wrote it using memories that people shared 

with him about what it meant to be warm. While the aim of 

this poem is to draw attention to refugees without adequate 

shelter, you can also read it with your children and talk about 

what it means for your kids to be warm or to feel loved. In 

addition to the poets, 13 artists contributed to this story. Each 

with their own unique style, but all of them held onto the 

same colour scheme creating an orange glow that seems to 

emanate warmth from the very pages you’re holding. For ages 

8 to 12. 

I know school and the coming winter can be hard—especially 

when the nights get darker faster and the weather 

turns cool—but hopefully these books will help you and your 

children embrace your fears, find pockets of joy, hug your 

monsters, love yourself, and discover your own items to add 

to Gaiman’s list of what it takes to be warm. 

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CUTITOUT! 

Be Gentle with Yourself 

While we experience profound 

love and great joy when we 

become parents, it can also 

be shocking. We soon discover that we 

can’t control another person. We can’t 

make them poop on the potty, be nice 

to their sibling, care about homework, 

or joyfully unload the dishwasher. 

If we invest our mental energy in 

constantly worrying about our kids 

and trying to get them to listen to us, 

we become depleted. When we try too 

hard, attempting to be their one-person 

entertainment centre and doing everything 

for them, we exhaust ourselves. 

When we hold the bar too high because 

we don’t understand the nature of 

childhood, we see their behaviour as 

deliberate, and we find ourselves overreacting. 

Tell yourself: 

1. My child is just trying to cope 

right now. 

2. This is a stage that kids go 

through. 

3. I can get through this, and I can 

cope. 

4. I can see some humour in this situation 

and anger won’t make it better. 

5. Children can’t help but be impulsive, 

it’s natural. 

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It’s a given that: 

1. You will not always be patient and 

loving. 

2. There will be many times when 

you don’t know what to do. 

3. You will give in just to keep the 

peace. 

4. You will wonder if your child is 

normal. 

5. You will feel like you are failing as 

a parent. 

Find your calm energy: 

1. Observe the bigger picture of times 

that behaviour is challenging and what 

sets it off. 

2. Learn about your own triggers and 

immature reactions. 

3. Let go of unnecessary control over 

things that don’t really matter. 

4. Build resources through relationships 

and education. 

5. Think about your true values as a 

parent and put it in writing. 

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Develop a mantra that reflects your 

true values: 

1. You matter. 

2. I believe in you. 

3. You are listened to. 

4. We can handle this. 

5. Mistakes are a part of life. 

Think through repeated difficulties 

at a neutral time and come up with a 

plan of how you want to respond. Be 

predictable knowing that it might not 

change the immediate, challenging behaviour 

in front of you. 

Sometimes effective parenting really 

is about what you don’t do. If you have 

made it through the day holding onto 

some of your values without losing the 

plot, can you let that sink in? Can you 

give yourself some genuine appreciation? 

Can you be gentle with yourself? 

Can you do that now? 

Dr. Allison Rees is a parent 

educator, counsellor and coach 

at LIFE Seminars (Living in 

Families Effectively), 

lifeseminars.com. 

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WHAT’SFORDINNER 

Get Kids 

Cooking! 

Anyone who is familiar with this column knows that I 

am a huge fan of teaching kids how to cook. So when 

I heard that Touchwood Editions (the Victoria-based 

publisher behind my cookbook, Fermenting Made Simple) was 

putting out a kid-focused cookbook, I was super excited! 

Let’s Eat is a cookbook written for tweens and teens. It offers 

real food recipes, like spaghetti Bolognese and chicken pot 

pie, along with beginner-friendly basics on how to cook eggs, 

rice and potatoes. The authors, DL Acken and Aurelia Louvet, 

are Salt Spring residents behind a lot of BC-based food writing 

(Edible Vancouver Island, Cedar and Salt). 

Food deskilling is when someone doesn't have the skills 

needed to cook healthy food from scratch. It’s a global problem 

linked to poor dietary choices and subsequent health problems. 

While the huge amount of processed foods available in our grocery 

stores is partly to blame, the main reason for food deskilling 

is that kids are no longer being taught how to cook. 

Here are a few recipes that can help you get your kids cooking! 

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Quesadillas 

Quesadillas are the perfect way to get little kids helping out in the 

kitchen. They can chop vegetables, grate cheese and put together 

their own quesadillas. Quesadillas are typically cooked on a griddle, 

however, this oven-baked recipe allows you to make enough for 

everyone to eat at the same time. 

8 to 12 small corn tortillas 

1 can refried beans 

6 spring onions, finely sliced 

4 mushrooms, sliced 

3 tomatoes, diced 

1 large red bell pepper, diced 

1 can of chopped black olives, drained and rinsed 

1 cup grated cheese 

Salsa, sour cream, and hot sauce for serving 

Tweens and Teens 

Most tweens and teens are capable of independently preparing 

dinner. The only trick is, that they need to be shown how. 

It takes experience to know how to sauté onions or figure out 

how long it’s going to take wash a head of lettuce. 

Online recipes can be quite difficult for kids to follow. Since 

they involve scrolling between the ingredient list and the instructions 

and often steps are missed. I recommend having 

them work from a cookbook and staying nearby so you can 

check on them periodically. They’ll feel better knowing that 

you’re available to help, if they need it. 

Let’s Eat is designed for kids 9+ with a focus on recipes for 

tweens and teens. The following recipe is an excerpt from the 

cookbook. 

Preheat the oven to 400˚F. Lightly grease two baking sheets with 

vegetable oil. 

Depending on the age of your child, have them help with dicing the 

vegetables and grating the cheese. 

Spread a few spoonfuls of refried beans over half of the corn tortillas. 

Let everyone decorate their tortilla their favourite fillings. Top with a 

handful of grated cheese, then put a second tortilla on top. 

Place the quesadillas on the baking sheets. Bake for 8 minutes. 

Remove from the oven. Press down on each quesadilla with a spatula 

to stick the layers together, then carefully flip the quesadilla over. Bake 

for another 8 minutes, until the cheese is melted and the tortillas have 

started to brown. 

Slice the tortillas into quarters and serve with salsa and sour cream. 

Store in an air-tight container in the fridge for up to 1 week. 

Little Kids 

If you aren’t sure where to start, here are somethings that 

little kids can do around the kitchen. 

• 0 to 2 years: Keeping your baby or toddler in the kitchen 

while you cook, is a great way to get them interested. Let them 

play with foods as you prepare them. As they get older, they 

can help wash vegetables and stir batters. 

• 3 to 5 years: Preschoolers LOVE to help out their parents. 

Let them pack their own snacks or lunch boxes. They can also 

slice up soft items, like tofu and mushrooms, with a butter 

knife. They can even do some highly-supervised cooking, like 

flipping pancakes, grating cheese, or stirring a pot on the stove. 

• 6 to 8 years: Little kids are able to do a lot more independent 

cooking. They can make muffins, prepare a salad, and 

help with dinner. The amount of supervision and assistance 

needed will decrease as they gain patience and skill. 

Emillie Parrish loves having adventures with her 

two busy children. You can find more of her recipes 

in her recently released cookbook Fermenting Made 

Simple. fermentingforfoodies.com 

Sweet Potato Thai Curry 

(by DL Acken and Aurelia Louvet) 

Although this recipe calls for sweet potatoes, curry is an ideal dish 

for vegetables like cauliflower, potatoes or peas, and proteins like 

chickpeas, tofu, shrimp or chicken. Basically, anything covered in 

curry sauce is YUM! Try different Thai curry pastes: there are green, 

yellow and red varieties, and each has a different flavor, but be sure 

to check out their spice levels on the packaging for mild or spicy 

kinds. Not a fan of coconut milk or have an allergy? Use the equivalent 

amount of vegetable stock instead. 

¼ cup (60 mL) olive oil 

4 sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into medium dice 

2 small onions, cut into medium dice 

¼ cup (60 mL) curry paste (like Thai Kitchen) 

2 Tbsp (30 mL) brown sugar 

2 (each 14 oz/400 mL) cans coconut milk 

2 cups (500 mL) stock of choice (beef, chicken, fish, and vegetable 

all work well) 

4 tsp (20 mL) fish sauce 

2 cups (500 mL) cherry tomatoes, washed and halved 

2 cups (500 mL) baby spinach, washed 

In a large Dutch oven or soup pot, warm the olive oil over medium 

heat and cook the sweet potatoes and onions, stirring occasionally, 

until they’re starting to brown. 

Add the curry paste and stir it into the sweet potatoes and onions. 

Cook, stirring occasionally, for a few minutes to cook off the curry paste. 

Add the sugar, coconut milk, stock and fish sauce and stir to combine. 

Cover the pot with a lid and turn the heat down to low. Cook until 

the potatoes are al dente, about 10 minutes. 

Stir in the tomatoes, cover and cook another 5 minutes. Stir in the 

spinach and cook for another minute until the spinach has wilted. 

Serve with rice, mashed potatoes or naan. 



MOM’SPOV 

The Cool of 

Volunteering at School 

The school bell rings. The children 

will be entering the classroom 

in seconds. 

I’m in my daughter’s Grade 2 classroom, 

about to be in the spotlight. I 

flip another round of pancakes on my 

griddle while my stomach does a flop. 

My forehead breaks out in a nervous 

sweat. I wish I wore sandals instead of 

runners. But it’s too late to consider 

cooler wardrobe choices now. 

The children file into the classroom 

and are instantly distracted at the 

sight of a guest—me. I breathe, wipe 

my brow and then smile. I’ve got this. 

Children are a forgiving audience and 

my daughter is always telling me it is 

okay to learn from our mistakes. 

I love participating in PJ Day as 

much as the children do. I am rocking 

my rubber ducky PJ pants. I also love 

that my youngest daughter still loves to 

dress up in matching outfits with me. 

Twinning as she calls it. She also enjoys 

twinning with her friends. 

One child approaches me. She is 

wearing an adorable unicorn onesie. 

She tells me about her dad’s pancakes 

that he makes every weekend. Another 

child asks whose mom I am. My own 

daughter comes and hugs me. Many 

more children come over to view the 

extra toppings of whip cream, strawberries, 

and chocolate chips that are 

laid out on the table at the front of the 

classroom. 

I get a chance to eat some pancakes 

with my daughter, but not before 

tripping the breaker by plugging in a 

second griddle. I remind myself that 

children are a forgiving audience and 

so is the teacher as I apologize for 

blowing the breaker. I move to the 

hall to use a different outlet to finish 

cooking the last of the pancake batter. 

Thankfully, it was only one outlet and 

not power for the whole class. As I’m 

cleaning up, children are still chatting 

to me while they’re supposed to be 

practicing their spelling. I say goodbye 

to my daughter’s teacher and the whole 

class thanks me at the same time. By 

this point, I’m comfortable and far less 

nervous. 

This year I also attended my son’s 

Maritime Museum field trip where 

I helped with fun activities to learn 

about supply and demand and trading. 

I was nervous during my role for 

this field trip as well because I was the 

checker of various activities that the 

children completed on cards to earn 

pelts for trading at the trading post. It

was also exciting because I managed 

to sit by my fellow mom friend on the 

bus. We coordinated our outfits as I 

would have back in the day with my 

friends. 

I also went on a field trip with my 

son’s class to the Royal BC Museum, 

and the children in my group started 

running up the escalator the wrong 

way. It was challenging to get them to 

stop but was overall a fun day of learning 

for all of us. I found ways to assess 

the personalities in my group and who 

needed extra jobs to keep busy and not 

get distracted. It was a day of counting 

and ensuring that we all stayed 

together. My son became quite upset 

at one point because I was helping another 

student and he couldn’t’ see me. 

I definitely could not be a teacher; I 

respect teachers and all the challenges 

they face. 

At the end of my volunteer days, I 

was relieved that we didn’t lose anyone 

and my nervousness was outweighed 

by the thrill of being back at school. 

The feeling took me back to my school 

performance days. I had the role of 

Marilla in Anne of Green Gables. After 

performing, I felt exhilarated and 

like I could accomplish anything. I feel 

the same way after volunteering at the 

school. I had a forgiving audience back 

in my Drama class days too. I’m looking 

forward to volunteering again this 

school year. I encourage you to take a 

day off work and spend a few hours 

with your child’s class—especially 

while your child still thinks it’s cool to 

have you at school. 

Learn a new sport or refine 

your skills: come join our 

rock climbing teams! 

Book a 

Birthday Party 

with us on 

Saturday or 

Sunday! 

• 


NOMINEE 


Serena Beck works full-time 

as a Technical Writer. She loves 

to write, travel and swim at the 

beach with family and friends. 

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The Boulders Climbing Gym 

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DADSPEAK 

You’re My 

Hero, Dad 

My 6-year-old kid looks up to me. Or so I thought. 

Recently, in the middle of another great adventure 

together, he looked at me and said, “I want to be a 

champion!” 

Gulp, how the hell do I show him this? 

He gets these mid-week epiphanies. They can be inspired by 

seeing the medals on his 17-year-old big brothers’ walls, from 

finding boxes of my old medals, or from catching glimpses of 

his auntie’s shiny medals lining her at-home gym. 

Like Captain Underpants, I stood there, wind blowing at my 

unsculpted back, and thought “I can do this, I can somehow 

figure out how to help shape the hero in him.” 

I’ve got the recipe—or so I thought. 

I’ve got a bit of charisma, energy, willingness to fail, grit to 

succeed and I surround myself with rockstar humans. However, 

my last decade of marriage and only recently a year out has 

taught me that I’ve got to tread lightly, play small, cautiously, 

within boundaries. Ugh, feels awkward and compromising. 

There’s got to be a formula for showing my kid success on 

the health-related battlefield regardless of the hamster ball I 

seem to be spinning on. 

Let me back up a bit. Hudson, my extraordinary kiddo is a 

legendary boy. He’s got a curiosity fused with kindness, goofiness 

laced with imagination, and a “what can we do today Dad 

that’s going to be fun” mentality. He’s not the kid that bounces 

off walls but takes more of a pensive approach to things. So 

naturally I can’t take a back seat to the “champion” mentality 

I want to instill in him. Time for me to dust off my lagging 

health goals and show him what it means to crush goals. 

The Coles Notes version of my life helped provide some answers 

as to what this path might look like for him. My mom’s 

always been my hero. I’m not really sure when it happened, but 

at some point in my early 20s I saw her as a beacon for integ- 

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ity and selflessness. She’s always been that voice of reason 

and moral standard in my life. Then there’s my father, the 

guy I look up to as far as work ethic and goal setting goes. It 

wasn’t anything they did that made me realize I’d struck 

gold with incredible parents, but the culmination of their 

character jackhammered into me from the day I was born. I 

think at some early point, they also tossed me into every 

sport imaginable and told me to do my best. So I did. And on 

the field was where I learned what it was like to be a champion. 

This was where my attitude on life began. 

Training sucked. Or at least starting to train felt like 

a sucker punch. I worked out my legs and somehow my 

shoulders were sore for days. I wouldn’t say my form was 

unorthodox, but the areas my body pinched and creaked told 

me otherwise. 

Trimming the “bad habits” fat was a necessary evil. If 

I was going to emulate what it looks and feels like to be a 

champion in life for Hudson, I was going to have to eliminate 

things. Let’s start with wings, fermented barley, and 

what felt like a need to attend social hour every day! At a 

minimum let’s set up a path to cut these down a bit, or a lot. 

The more I regained my mental and emotional turf, the 

more I put him as a reason, and the more it mattered to me. 

The more it mattered to me, the less and less he became the 

focal point, and I started taking action for myself. 

Setbacks were everywhere. Disappointments, not being 

where I wanted to be, any excuse I could find to sabotage 

my growth all seemed like Goliath-like realities. I was in status 

quo mode, and didn’t let myself push many boundaries, 

whether physical, spiritual, emotional, or mental. So I opted 

for help from everyone around me. I leaned heavily on phenomenal 

friends who helped carry me when I couldn’t carry 

myself. 

It took time to regain my confidence in me, and while 

every day hasn’t become a win, my son sees my victories as 

his. And so we share these small wins with each other. 

I’ve got a race coming up and nothing means more to me 

than showing my kids I can push myself. It’s not necessarily 

the medal for me, but because of my son’s affinity for pirate 

treasure, his eyes will light up when he sees that I’ve got 

something shiny and gold! 

It’s turned into a symbiotic relationship. I win, and so 

does my son. We do this as a team. We weren’t always a 

team. When once he’d run around me at all cost trying to 

get to his mom, he’s now starting to see me as a hero in his 

life and runs to me with reckless abandon every day after 

school. He got gut-punched a year and a half ago through 

my separation, though I’m helping him learn and heal, while 

I’m also the one that’s learning to listen to his heart and feelings, 

inevitably helping show him how to regulate his own 

big emotions. 

“You’re my hero, Dad” has always been the pinnacle of 

fatherhood gifts, though in this process of showing him how, 

I’m finding that he’s in fact becoming mine. 

• 


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Find your next family outing! 

OakBay.ca/Parks-Recreation 

Phone: 250-595-7946 

Ask about hosting 

a birthday party! 



PLAY 

Halloween Skate 

Put on your Halloween costumes and head over to the Archie 

Browning Sports Centre in Esquimalt on Sunday, October 29 between 

1pm and 2pm for a spooky ice-skating session! Everyone is welcome 

to skate during this time but kids wearing their costumes get in for free! 

esquimalt.ca/community-events/events-listing/ 

calendar/halloween-skate 

COWICHAN VALLEY 

Scarecrow Spectacular 

The Milner Gardens and Woodland Scarecrow Spectacular in Qualicum 

Beach is an awesome way to spend time with family and get in the 

Halloween spirit! Wear your costume, wander the Scarecrow Lane 

through the Haunted Gardens, and don’t forget to vote for your favourite 

scarecrow. Visit from October 27 to October 29 from 11am to 3pm. 

visitparksvillequalicumbeach.com/events/milner-gardenswoodland-scarecrow-spectacular 

COMOX VALLEY 

GREATER VICTORIA 

Dog Man: The Musical 

The Cowichan Performing Arts Centre is proud to present Dog Man: 

The Musical on Tuesday, October 25. If your kids are fans of the series 

Dog Man by Dave Pilkey, they’ll love Dog Man: The Musical! This 90- 

minute show is suitable for ages 6 and up and will entertain both 

kids and adults. Get your tickets now! 

cowichanculture.ca/show/591363/view 

NANAIMO & AREA 

Campbell River Witchy Market 

Visit the Crow’s Nest Artist Collective on Saturday, October 28 from 

6pm to 10pm and have a spooky time at this year’s Witchy Market. 

This family-friendly event will have local craftspeople, Halloween 

themed snacks, and activities such as face painting, card reading 

and costume contests. 

hunthalloween.com/event/2023-campbell-riverwitchy-market-eid4a7d4v9q39 

Need help with the Affordable Child Care Benefit? 

Looking for child care? Taking care of children? 

Need child care training? 

Call your local CCRR for free referrals and resources. 

Victoria & Gulf Islands: 250-382-7000 

Sooke: 250-642-5152 ext 239 West Shore: 250-940-4882 

Cowichan Valley: 250-746-4135 local 231 

PacificCare (Ladysmith North): 250-756-2022 or 1-888-480-2273 

gov.bc.ca/ChildCareResourceReferralCentres 

Your community’s best source of 

child care information and resources. 

Funding for the CCRR is provided by the province of B.C. 


PRESCHOOL&CHILDCARESPOTLIGHT 

The Best Foundation for a Lifetime of Learning 

Nanaimo, BC | 250.390.2201 | AspengroveSchool.com 

Cloverdale Child Care 

OPENINGS 

At our Cloverdale site in our half day 

daycare and preschool starting Sept 2023 

Half Day Daycare 

9:15–2:15 Mon–Fri 

Mon–Fri, Mon/Wed/Fri 

or Tues/Thurs 

Preschool 9:30–1:30 

4-year-olds: Mon/Wed/Fri 

3-year-olds: Tues/Thurs 

For information visit: 

cloverdalechildcare.com 

To register: 

cloverdale@shawbiz.ca 

3427 Quadra St, Victoria 

Christ Church Cathedral Childcare 

& Jr. Kindergarten..................250-383-5132 

ECE and specialist teachers provide an 

outstanding all day licensed program for 

2.5–5 year olds at our Fairfield and 

Gordon Head locations. 

cathedralschool.ca 

Half Day Daycare 9:15-2:15 Monday-Friday 

Families can register for: Monday-Friday, Monday, Wednesday, Friday or Tuesday and Thursday 

4-year-old Class Monday. Wednesday and Friday 

Preschool 9:30-1:30 

3-year-old Tuesday and Thursday 

For more information please visit our website: www.cloverdalechildcare.com 

register please email: cloverdale@shawbiz.ca 

Licensed child care facility with spots available for children 

aged 3-5 years. Contact us to book a tour today! 

Victoria Social Innovation Centre: 1004 North Park St 

littlephoenixchildcare.ca 

director@littlephoenixchildcare.ca 778-269-2273 

3427 Quadra St Victoria BC V8X 1G8 

Ready Set Grow Preschool.....250-472-1530 

Join our learning through play preschool located 

in Hillcrest Elem. Our caring ECEs offer 

an enriched Program for 3-4 hour, 2-5 days a 

week and help with kindergarten transition. 

heoscmanager@gmail.com 

SEEDLINGS 

Forest Education 

Where nature becomes the Teacher! 

Seedlings Forest Education is a Nature based program 

that includes After School Care, Nature Preschool, Parent 

Workshops, Saturday Seedlings, Summer Camps and more! 

250-880-0660 seedlingsforesteducation.com 

Thriving Roots Wilderness School 

thrivingroots.org 

Thriving Roots provides hands-on, 

wilderness education and counselling 

services for youth and adults. 

Our year-long programs and summer 

camps are immersive in nature, fostering 

connection to land and community through 

earth-based skills, play, music and more. 

info@thrivingroots.org 

Nestled on 4 acres of lush west coast forest, our Award 

winning, Nature based program will not disappoint! 

While firmly embracing the Reggio-Emila (Italy) Philosophy our 

dedicated team of educators use the environment as the third 

teacher as we encourage your child throughout their day. 

Our purpose built facilities have been handmade using the 

trees from our forest. Come take a virtual tour on our website! 

lexieslittlebears.ca Waitlist: 250-590-3603 

BC Award of Excellence in Childcare & Prime Minister’s Award of Excellence in Early Childhood Education. 



Family 

Favourites 

The Family Favourites results are in! 

Who has the best products, services 

and experiences? We asked and 

you answered. Developed to recognize 

quality family retailers and service 

providers in our community. Our 

readers were invited to vote online 

at islandparent.ca for their family 

favourites in 37 categories. The 

response was phenomenal. Thank 

you to everyone who voted and sent 

us such wonderful feedback. We have 

tallied your votes—here are your 

2023 Island Parent Family Favourites! 

Favourite 

Food Service 

FOOD TRUCK 

Winner: Songhees Food Truck 

Runners Up: Taco Justice, Deadbeetz Burgers 

ICE CREAM SHOP 

Winner: Beacon Drive-In 

Runners Up: Parachute Ice Cream, Cold Comfort 

HAMBURGERS 

Winner: Bin 4 

Runners Up: Red Robin, Big Wheel Burger 

PIZZA 

Winner: Pizzeria Prima Strada 

Runners Up: Famoso, Oregano’s 

VEGAN 

Winner: Green Cuisine 

Runners Up: Be Love, Rebar 

ETHNIC 

Winner: Foo Asian Street Food 

Runners Up: Sizzling Tandoor, Bao 

FAMILY DINING 

Winner: Romeo’s 

Runners Up: Frankie’s Modern Diner, The Old Spaghetti 

Factory 

FOOD PREP SERVICE 

Winner: Fresh Prep 

Runners Up: Wolf Meal Prep, Local Urban Bites 

Favourite Retail 

CHILDREN’S CLOTHING 

Winner: Once upon a child 

Runners Up: Children’s Place, Carter’s 

BABY 

Winner: TJ’s 

Runners Up: Huckleberry, Momease 

TOYS 

Winner: Mastermind 

Runners Up: Kaboodles, The Red Balloon Toy Shop 

CONSIGNMENT 

Winner: Once upon a child 

Runners Up: A to Z Kids, Sailor Jack 

GROCERY 

Winner: Thrifty Foods 

Runners Up: Red Barn Market, Country Grocers 

HEALTH & ORGANIC 

Winner: Lifestyle Markets 

Runners Up: Healthy Essentials, Whole Foods 

FARMERS MARKET 

Winner: Peninsula Market 

Runners Up: Moss Street Market, Esquimalt Market 

BOOKS 

Winner: Bolen Books 

Runners Up: Russell Books, Marmalade Books 

PHARMACY 

Winner: Heart Pharmacy 

Runners Up: Cridge Pharmacy, Shoppers (Royal Oak) 

PET STORE 

Winner: Bosleys 

Runners Up: a pet’s life, Healthy Spot 

BIKE SHOP 

Winner: Oak Bay Bike Shop 

Runners Up: Westshore Bicycles, Fuka Cycles 

CAR DEALERSHIP 

Winner: Wheaton Chevrolet Victoria 

Runners Up: Galaxy Motors, Howie’s Car Corral 

Favourite 

Personal Service 

OPTOMETRIST 

Winner: Optimization 

Runners Up: Cordova Bay Optometry, Cadboro Bay 

Optometry 

ORTHODONTICS 

Winner: Oceans Edge Nanaimo 

Runners Up: Shoreline, Dr. Kirk Bartlett 

DENTIST 

Winner: Sun River Dental 

Runners Up: Westshore Dental, Colwood Dental 

PHYSIOTHERAPIST 

Winner: Tall Tree 

Runners Up: Arbutus, Shelbourne 

Favourite 

Children , s... 

PRESCHOOL/CHILDCARE 

Winner: Lexies Little Bears 

Runners Up: Thriving Roots, Arts Calibre 

ARTS OR THEATRE PROGRAM 

Winner: Stages Dance 

Runners Up: Theatre SKAM, Ballet Victoria 

BIRTHDAY PARTY LOCATION 

Winner: Ponies & Pipsqueaks 

Runners Up: The Boulders Climbing Gym, 

Victoria Gymnastics 

SUMMER CAMP 

Winner: UVic Vikes 

Runners Up: Victoria Gymnastics, 

Nanaimo Gymnastics 

OVERNIGHT CAMP 

Winner: Camp Qwanoes 

Runners Up: Camp Imadene, Camp Narnia 

SPORTS PROGRAM 

Winner: Trident – Pacific FC 

Runners Up: Canada’s Best Karate, 

Nanaimo Gymnastics 

RECREATION CENTRE 

Winner: Saanich Commonwealth Place 

Runners Up: Westshore Parks & Recreation, 

Oak Bay Recreation 

Favourite 

Outing 

LIVE SPORTING EVENT 

Winner: Harbour Cats 

Runners Up: Pacific FC, Victoria Royals 

PLAYGROUND 

Winner: Cook Street 

Runners Up: Courthouse, Beacon Hill 

BEACH 

Winner: Wittys Lagoon 

Runners Up: Arbutus Cove, Spiral Beach 

PARK 

Winner: Beacon Hill Park 

Runners Up: Fisherman’s Wharf Park, 

Holland Point Park 

ATTRACTION 

Winner: WildPlay 

Runners Up: Butterfly Gardens, Bug Zoo 

FAMILY GETAWAY 

Winner: Tigh Na Mara 

Runners Up: Manning Park, 

Harrison Hot Springs 


& 

Tweens Teens 

Vol V, Ed VI 

4 Ways to Balance 

Screen Time 

Discord: 

The Know-It-All Guide 

Helping Our Tweens & Teens Navigate Conflict

Discord: The Know-It-All Guide 

Maybe you’ve noticed your teen is spending more time 

in their room, headphones firmly set over their ears 

and eyes set squarely on a computer screen. Or maybe 

they’re constantly sneaking peeks at their phones, thumbs 

tapping away and stifling laughs. One very likely answer: 

Discord. In the ever-evolving landscape of digital communication, 

Discord has emerged as a powerful platform that has 

brought people together in shared interests, hobbies and 

communities. With its roots in gaming, Discord has evolved 

into a versatile and user-friendly application that caters 

to a wide range of interests, from gaming groups to study 

groups, hobbyist communities and even businesses. 

Discord’s Origins 

Discord was founded by Jason Citron and Stanislav 

Vishnevskiy back in May 2015. Interestingly enough, the 

inspiration for Discord’s creation was the at-the-time archaic 

chat features for online video games. Citron, a gamer 

himself and an up-and-coming entrepreneur, envisioned 

a communication platform specifically for gamers. Gradually, 

though, the vision for what Discord would be was that 

of a real-time communication space for communities of all 

shapes and sizes to thrive in. 

How Discord Went Mainstream 

What started off as a platform for gamers quickly grew 

out of its original niche and evolved into something else. 

Discord’s user-friendly interface, reliability and robust features 

quickly attracted people from various backgrounds. 

Even before it truly hit the mainstream, it became a go-to 

platform for organizing events, sharing knowledge and 

fostering online communities. In comparison to other social 

media platforms like Facebook and Instagram, Discord 

makes it very simple to meet and talk to new people; it’s 

as simple as searching up your preferred topic or interest, 

and you’ll get a long list of servers filled with people who’re 

extensively discussing that exact topic. This easy navigation 

combines with the very accessible design of the platform 

itself, making creating and maintaining your own server only 

needing a few clicks. But what really propelled Discord into 

the spotlight was the year we all had to spend indoors, and 

the world turned to the internet in greater numbers than 

ever before to communicate. 


The New Stomping Ground 

It’s no secret that video games are now one of the most 

popular pastimes of all time, captivating kids and adults 

alike. So it came as no surprise that people were playing 

video games more than ever during the various periods of 

lockdown throughout the pandemic. It also follows that Discord 

would see users skyrocket as well, with people looking 

for alternative ways to socialize in response to quarantine. 

Discord became the new hangout spot for lots of kids. It’s a 

place to chat, play video games, listen to music or even just 

share funny videos. With the move to online school, multiple 

video streaming platforms with text communication were 

used at first to replicate classroom discussion and homework 

assignments, but it didn’t take long for kids to start 

making Discord servers for specific classes, to share notes 

and ask one another questions. After that, it took even less 

time for schools across the country to start outright using 

Discord for online school in favour of the more well-known 

apps like Google Classroom and Zoom. Discord wasn’t just 

a private group chat for friends, it had evolved into a digital 

shopping mall that had school, your favourite stores to 

browse and your friend’s hangout spot all in one easy package. 

Even after the end of the pandemic and the return to 

normalcy, Discord remains a very important part of online 

life for kids and teens everywhere. 

The Future of Socialization 

With Discord almost accidentally incorporating itself into 

the daily lives of many young people, it has become one of 

the most popular places for them to communicate and express 

themselves that just aren’t possible in the real world. 

With the realm of possibilities that the internet had for 

social connection becoming a reality during the pandemic, 

it’s no wonder that it has become such an important part 

of young people’s lives. So, if you happen to see Discord on 

your teen’s phone or computer, take comfort in knowing 

that quality time with friends is still important to kids, even 

in the digital age. 

Fletcher Look is a fourth year student at 

the University of Alberta currently studying 

English and Writing. He enjoys reading, 

tabletop games, video games and all 

things nerdy. 

OPENS OCT 20, 2023 

A GIANT SCREEN 

3D EXPERIENCE 

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Helping Our Tweens & Teens Navigate Conflict 

The “tweens” (between the ages of 8 or 9 and 12) are rough. Carefree 

childhood innocence rapidly slips away as kids encounter higher expectations 

at school and home, an ever-widening sense of a chaotic 

world outside themselves, confusing hormonal and physical changes, 

and the increasing complexity of social interaction with their peers. 

Suddenly, social spats aren’t simple: “Jane wouldn’t share the toy,” 

but can become complicated, multi-layered issues: “Jane was mad that 

I didn’t eat lunch with her, so she wouldn’t talk to me and told everyone 

not to be friends with me anymore. Then she said mean things about me 

on {insert social media du jour here} and now everyone hates me.” 

How do we help our kids get through this incredibly challenging 

time in a healthy way that promotes positive social skills? 

Apart from making sure they are secure in our unconditional love, 

and helping them build genuine confidence in themselves, it’s essential 

that kids learn how to work through conflict constructively. There 

are several important skills and mindsets that we can help them build 

that will make this easier. 

Over the year I noticed more students solving their own conflicts 

within the classroom, as well as increased empathy towards others, 

evidenced in their personal writing and even the way they spoke to 

each other. 

Perspective-Taking and Empathy 

Helping kids more fully understand how their actions affect others 

is something that can be practiced at home. 

Books. When reading, you can discuss the characters’ feelings, and 

point out how several characters can feel differently about the same 

situation. Powerful “tween” books, told from multiple perspectives, 

are R.J. Palacio’s Wonder and Rob Buyea’s Because of Mr. Terupt. 

Authenticity. Give them feedback when their words or actions have 

an emotional effect on you, positive or negative. 

Drama—the Good Kind. Role-playing is a great tool for helping us 

see and understand peoples’ emotions and motivations. Act out social 

situations and discuss what you are thinking and feeling when, for 

How We View Conflict 

Conflict is a natural and unavoidable part of human interaction, but 

working through it isn’t always intuitive, or easy. When I was a rookie 

elementary school teacher, I struggled to help my Grade 6 students 

sort out daily drama. 

I attended several workshops on Restorative Justice and conflict 

resolution, and learned to view conflict not as “right” versus “wrong” 

but as two people wanting or needing different things. Resolving conflict 

isn’t about punishment or exacting revenge—it’s about making 

sure that everyone’s experience is heard and acknowledged, and that 

they find a way to move forward from the conflict in a way that meets 

everyone’s needs. 

Our school formed a “Peace Squad”—a group of students, many 

from my class, trained to help mediate playground conflicts. This 

wasn’t a miracle cure for conflict and, obviously, there were issues 

(physical altercations, and bullying, among them) that mediators had 

to refer to adult supervisors. Sometimes students weren’t interested in 

participating when they realized that the other kid wasn’t going to get 

in “trouble.” 

However, anyone involved in the process, whether as a mediator or 

someone in conflict, came away from it seeing that there is an alternative 

to the pervasive idea that if someone “wrongs” you, they need to 

be “punished.” 

example, your best friend decides to sit with someone else at lunch. 

How might you react? What are some alternative ways of handling the 

situation? 

Boost Emotional Awareness 

Being able to describe how someone’s actions make you feel is an 

essential key to finding satisfying resolutions to conflict, but many kids 

struggle with a limited emotional vocabulary. 

Labelling. We can help our kids develop and expand their emotional 

awareness, starting with labelling and talking about our own emotions. 

We can also provide a safe space and opportunities for them to 

practice. 

Visual Aids. My four-year-old has a calendar with emotion magnets, 

and every day when we change the date, weather, and day of the week, 

he also takes a moment to think about how he’s feeling and picks a 

face. Sometimes we get into the “why” of his emotions, but just labelling 

them is a great start. 

Shared Journal. If your tween isn’t yet comfortable with verbalizing 

their feelings, you could try keeping a shared journal (with a list 

of emotion words taped inside the cover for easy reference). There are 

some beautifully-designed journals out there for this purpose, full of 

creative prompts. Some are even fill-in-the-blank. 


Games. Emotion charades and other activities 

derived from theatre sports can help your 

child develop and strengthen their ability to 

read facial expressions and body language. 

A lot of kids have difficulty with tone and 

emphasis. They might repeat something funny 

a TV character says and not understand why 

their classmate finds it hurtful (it might be 

said with a sarcastic tone). You can make a 

game of saying the same sentence in different 

ways and trying to guess the speaker’s intent 

or emotion. For example, “What are you doing?” 

vs “What are you doing?” communicate 

different messages. 

Calming Strategies 

Learning and practicing calming techniques 

(mindful breathing, counting, visualization, 

positive self-talk) helps us be rational and 

receptive instead of reactive. You can help 

your child to determine which strategies are 

most useful for them and encourage them to 

practice when you see they are agitated. 

Acknowledge Mistakes… and Grow 

When conflict occurs, it’s important to 

work through it so that everyone can move 

forward peacefully. We can’t change what 

happened, but we can decide to learn and 

make different choices in the future. To do 

this we need to acknowledge our own part in 

conflict. 

No one wants to believe their child is capable 

of causing hurt to another, but it happens 

every day. Not because they are “bad,” 

but because they are learning. If your child is 

involved in a conflict, take time to hear the 

whole story of what transpired. Encourage 

them to own their actions and be part of a 

solution. Just as in any new subject, they are 

going to make mistakes and that’s when they 

need our support the most—to help them 

grow positively from a negative experience. 

Schools are beginning to teach emotional 

and social skills more explicitly within an 

evolving curriculum, but developing empathy, 

emotional awareness, self-regulation, and 

problem-solving skills starts with parents. 

They watch us for cues, and if we negotiate 

our own conflicts constructively this goes a 

long way to helping them get through the trials 

and tribulations of Tweenhood. 

Kelly McQuillan is a writer, 

musician, teacher and fledgling 

mother living in Comox. 

kellymcquillanwriter. 

weebly.com, music teacher: 

kellymcquillan.com. 

150 Commercial St 

Nanaimo, British Columbia 

250.754.1750 

NanaimoArtGallery.ca 

Pro-D Day, Spring and 

Summer Camps 

Drop-in and Immersive 

Programs for Teens 

School Programs 

Classes and Workshops 

for All Ages 

Help protect the groundwater rdn.bc.ca/wellsmart we share 

wellSMART 

Go to our website to 

learn all about... 

Drought Management 

Water Testing & Treatment 

Maintenance & Operation 

Rebates 

Plus check out our wellSMART workshops 

October 26, 6-8 p.m. Gabriola Aggi Hall, 

November 1, 2023 from 6-8 p.m. at the Cavalotti Hall 

rdn.bc.ca/wellsmart 



Be a Role Model 

4 Ways to Balance Screen Time Around Children 

Kids learn how to use technology by watching their parents and 

caregivers, so model healthy habits early. 

One of the advantages of modern technology is that you can be 

at the playground and scroll through your phone at the same time. 

We’ve all been there. We answer emails, catch up on group chats and 

try to get in that one last text. The thing is, children notice. They’re 

watching us, watching how we use devices. 

Lots of studies show the effects of screen time on kids and there 

are guidelines for how much is appropriate at what age. More importantly, 

kids learn their screen habits from us. But it’s common for 

many parents and caregivers to be distracted by their phones when 

spending time with their children. These tips can help you balance 

your own tech use and model healthy habits for the kids. 

Set device-free times and zones. When kids are around, set an 

example by using tech the way you want them to use it. Keep phones 

away from the dinner table, try not to multitask while using devices 

and turn the TV off when no one is watching. 

Establish screen-time goals for yourself. The secret to healthy 

tech use is to establish limits and stick to them. Try using your phone’s 

screen-time features to track how long you use it. Then set some goals 

for how you’d like to be using your phone when spending time with 

family. Be mindful if you find yourself constantly responding to emails 

and messages during your downtime. Before you check your phone, 

ask yourself: Why am I checking my phone? If you don’t have a good 

reason, put it down. And if you do pick up your phone in front of the 

kids, try to explain what you’re doing. That way, they know you’re using 

it for a reason. 

Keep distractions to a minimum. You probably tell your kids to 

turn off their devices during homework time. Get rid of the stuff that 

distracts you, too. Limit notification alerts when spending time as a 

family, or set your devices to “do not disturb.” Try to avoid using devices 

around your children on long commutes and journeys or at appointments, 

too. 

Watch and play movies, shows, and games together. Whenever 

you can, watch, play and listen with your kids. Ask questions that get 

them thinking, like Who’s your favorite character? What do you think 

will happen next? This is a great way to have discussions about your 

values. It will also help kids make connections between what they see 

on screen and their lives. With older kids, you can draw them out by 

sharing stuff from your social media accounts. 

Originally posted in Common Sense Media, October 2022. 


ENTRANCE SCHOLARSHIPS 

NOW AVAILABLE! 

NOW ACCEPTING 2024/2025 APPLICATIONS | SCHOLARSHIPS AVAILABLE FOR GR. 8-12 

At Aspengrove School, we provide our students with an experiential, personalized school 

experience. Through Aspengrove’s holistic programs, students develop strong academic 

and life skills to prepare them for success in their post-secondary journeys. Our Middle and 

Senior School experience is full of rich learning opportunities delivered through the 

renowned International Baccalaureate curriculum. 

Preschool - Grade 12 | Nanaimo, BC | 250.390.2201 | AspengroveSchool.com 

IslandParent.ca Fall 2023 39

Island Parent Fall 2023

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