Island Parent Fall 2023

LEARN
Setting Kids Up
for Success at School
Relationships are crucial for human development. It’s attachment
that tethers us together and it’s our greatest
need: to belong, to be “gotten,” to love, to feel significant
and to feel sameness.
Parents can start by taking responsibility to preserve the
relationship so children can let go and be themselves. When
we meet the attachment and dependency needs of our kids,
they emerge as viable, separate beings. How?
• Help children feel safe at home to experience all their big
feelings. When home is an easy place to have their tears, kids
are better able to navigate mistakes, failures and disappointments—for
example, not getting the red crayon or not getting
to play with a friend at recess.
• Encourage play so kids may naturally work through
worries and stresses while expressing and discharging big
feelings. Settling back into the routine of school is a big
transition for kids (and parents). Make space for all the feelings—excitement,
anxiety, worry, frustration. Keep your after-school
activities simple. Hopefully now you’re settled into
the new routine and have come to terms with saying goodbye
to your summer selves. Prioritize time for rest and play.
• Ensure proper sleep. Sleep is restorative. If you must
wake your child in the morning, they aren’t getting enough
sleep.
• Eat well. Healthy diets can help prevent “hangry” kids.
• Establish routines. Routines can help kids feel connected
because they know how the day will unfold.
• Take charge of health, safety, boundaries, and support
good decision making. Set limits with confidence so children
can rest in knowing we’ll take care of them.
• Understand that upset is normal and take responsibility
for preserving your relationship with your child.
• Lead with empathy, delight in your child, allow them to
exist in your presence and don’t take things personally.
Parents will likely have a range of feelings about “Will my
child behave in school?” And “What can we do to set them
up for success?”
According to psychologist and author Gordon Neufeld,
there are six traits of well-behaved children that can’t be
taught and must be grown.
1. Children should want to be good for the people they are
attached to and resist orders from those they are not.
12 Island Parent Magazine IslandParent.ca