Rhiwbina Living Autumn 2023
Autumn 2023 issue of Rhiwbina Living magazine.
Autumn 2023 issue of Rhiwbina Living magazine.
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Free yourself<br />
In a world where we can often feel hard done by, the feeling of<br />
victimisation can lead us into a negative spiral. Here's how to beat it<br />
Many of us are guilty of<br />
having a moan about things<br />
every now and then. Life is<br />
busy and maybe we don't get time<br />
to sit down and relax the way we<br />
want to. Maybe other people seem<br />
to have happier lives than us, have<br />
more success than us, or have<br />
things a little easier than us.<br />
For some of us though, we like to<br />
dwell in the mindset that for some<br />
reason, we were born under a<br />
wrong star, or that we're somehow<br />
getting the short straw more often<br />
than others. The fact of the matter<br />
is that yes, life is unfair. And some<br />
of us get more bad luck than<br />
others. This can lead us to fall into<br />
the mindset that we are somehow<br />
a victim of circumstance.<br />
There are, of course, real victims<br />
in this world. They are the ones<br />
who through no fault of their own,<br />
are caught up in the most awful<br />
situations, often not being able to<br />
escape or make the change they<br />
desperately need.<br />
For the majority of us though, we<br />
like to think of ourselves as victims<br />
for less - because there's a long<br />
queue in the Post Office when<br />
you're in a rush; when they've sold<br />
out of your favourite wine.<br />
We tend to take things so<br />
personally that we begin to think<br />
that the world is out to get us<br />
when in fact, the world is not even<br />
thinking about you. They're more<br />
interested in themselves.<br />
The world isn't out to get you. You<br />
are one of billions of people in this<br />
world who are all trying to achieve<br />
something. The hard truth is that<br />
you're only a victim of your own<br />
mind. And here's how to change<br />
that mindset for the better.<br />
Recognise the<br />
martyrdom<br />
Before you can start on fixing<br />
yourself, you first need to<br />
recognise the martyrdom that's<br />
causing the victim mindset.<br />
When something doesn't go the<br />
way you wanted it to, become<br />
aware of the feelings that this<br />
has caused. Is it the event that<br />
has caused these feelings or is<br />
it your reaction to it? When that<br />
motorist cut you up, were they<br />
doing it because they know you<br />
personally and wanted to hurt<br />
you, or was it because they were<br />
unsure about which lane they<br />
should have been in?<br />
Keep asking yourself these<br />
kinds of questions and then ask<br />
yourself whether you are going<br />
to continue giving permission for<br />
these life events to hurt you. Are<br />
you able to stop these life events<br />
from happening, just to protect<br />
your feelings? Very unlikely. The<br />
next best thing in that case is to<br />
change your reaction to them,<br />
accepting that they happen - to<br />
all of us, not just you. And when<br />
you start moaning about life, try<br />
and listen to yourself objectively.<br />
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