The Crimson White Print Edition - February 8th, 2024

opinion
Is Cupid really all that stupid?
5B
Abby Cope
Contributing Columnist
With supermarket
shelves quickly
emptying of name-brand
chocolates and floral
arrangements, it doesn’t
require a calendar for one
to know that Valentine’s
Day is coming up. A
romantic’s daydream and a
cynic's nightmare, Feb. 14
is a day that heavily divides
collegians.
In recent years deemed
a “Hallmark holiday,”
Valentine’s Day raked
in over $25 billion from
American consumers in
2023. While it’s not exactly
a secret that the holiday is
heavily commercialized, it
didn’t start that way.
Legend says it started
with a simple letter from a
martyred Italian priest over
1,000 years ago. Written to
his beloved from prison, it
was an innocent act of love
with a weapon mightier
than the sword and signed
“from your Valentine,”
apparently St. Valentine
of Terni.
St. Valentine was a man
who was imprisoned for
defying orders and secretly
marrying couples to spare
husbands from being
enlisted. He was a man who
fought for love.
Though it is unclear if
the St. Valentine that was
imprisoned is the same
that wrote the note, on
account of many Christian
martyrs named Valentine,
the powerful message still
prevails.
The symbolism behind
St. Valentine’s selfless act
quickly caught on, and
commercial Valentine’s
cards began being printed
in the 1700s. The Hallmark
company sold its first
custom cards for the
occasion in 1913, and today
there are over 100 million
valentines exchanged
every year.
What began as one
man’s testament to love
turned into an annual
worldwide declaration
of adoration.
Today, Valentine’s Day
is thought to be a holiday
with almost as many fools
as April 1. Music constantly
talks about the irrationality
that comes hand in hand
with utter infatuation,
from Quinn XCII’s “FFYL
(Fool for Your Love)” to
Led Zeppelin’s “Fool in
the Rain.” Even Elvis
proclaimed that “only fools
rush in.”
But why is it that we
naturally associate these
feelings with naivety? Is it
because the idea of modern
love has evolved far from
what were once honest and
upfront actions?
“Going steady” has
evolved into hookups, a
phrase we use to describe
connecting parts, not
people. Hookup culture
has spread around college
campuses and into
courtships across
the country.
There’s a veritable
plague of one-night stands,
drawers full of empty
promises and unhappy
endings.
Studies from the
University of Kansas show
that over 60% of dates
among college students
break the “traditional
script” — defined as
men asking, paying, and
initiating sex. But who set
these traditional standards
for dating discourse, and
why are they now being
ignored?
The rise of dating
apps in recent years
has only contributed to
the modernization of
conventional courtships.
A study by Pew Research
found that nearly 50% of
18-29 year olds use or have
used dating apps, and this
number is steadily rising.
The disconnect of these
on-screen interactions
leaves out the most
vital parts of building
relationships. The rigidity
of rapid-fire, compulsory
responses leads to the
inevitable “ghosting.”
This new standard of
relationship practices
creates a digital divide and
prevents what were once
natural connections.
My advice? Fall in
love with someone
you really like. Like
their company first,
like their philosophy,
like the way they treat
you, like the person
first.
Jennie Ayers
Crimson Village
Resident
Being on the balance
beam of kid and adult can
make a feeling like love,
something that’s supposed
to be so instinctive, make
us feel so inept. So, we
should turn to those
with years of experience
and wisdom. Here’s the
personal love story of
Lenora Burnett, a resident
at Crimson Village
in Tuscaloosa.
“My husband and I have
been married 62 years. We
started dating in the 10th
grade. We only broke up for
about six months, I guess.
We were going steady again
by our junior or senior
prom,” Burnett said.
“It snowed that night,
it was truly beautiful. But,
I mean, our gowns and
tuxedos in the snow? Ugh!
Anyways, Calvin ran out in
that cold and brought the
car under the veranda so I
wouldn’t get my gown all
wet. I had a real pretty soft
pink gown, with the big
hoops underneath them.
“When Calvin saw me
that night, he said, ‘My
God, you look beautiful!’ Of
course that thrilled me, but
he always told me I looked
great. Every single day. We
truly loved each other.
“When he died of cancer
10 years ago, he told me
he’d wait for me at the
corner of Wellness and
Happiness Street,” she said.
“That he’d pick a place and
for me to follow him. I’ve
been married 62 years, and
I’m still married today. He
said he’d wait on me, and
I’ll wait on him. Because
that’s what love is.”
As she guided me
back to the lobby, Burnett
thanked me for the
interview. However, I
quickly assured her that
I was the one to do the
thanking. For sharing a
piece of her story with
me, and for proving that
happy endings have not
abandoned all hope.
As for Crimson Village
resident Jennie Ayers, here
is her advice to college
students for this upcoming
Valentine’s Day, because in
her words, “Y’all really do
need it!”
“My advice? Fall in love
with someone you really
like. Like their company
first, like their philosophy,
like the way they treat you,
like the person first,” Ayers
said. “Be their best friend.
If you could fall in love
with your best friend, then
you’ve got it made. You
already want to be around
them, share things with
them, and they do you.”
Ayers explained that if
she hadn’t failed to find
love so many times, she
would never have found it.
And when it does
happen, she said, “It
happens when you're not
expecting it, not looking
for it.”
Ayers met her husband
thanks to a “help wanted”
ad in the local paper. She
was hired as the manager
of a doctor’s office and
became friends with the
doctor first. They were best
friends for two years, and
then they fell in love.
“So I found him in the
newspaper. In a ‘help
wanted’ ad! No name or
anything! Hah! You just
have to embrace what
part of the cycle you’re in,
embrace where you
are now.”
Embracing Valentine’s
Day in its entirety, however,
is far easier said than done.
It’s a major holiday that
revolves around an even
more major word.
But love is not just a
word to say. It’s a four-letter
word turned feeling: not
measured by price tags
on precious jewels, but
by beats of hearts, bats
of eyelashes, and blushes
of one’s cheeks. It’s an
encounter unique to each
human lucky enough to
experience it. Love knows
no age, no timeline, but
it does know all of us, in
some capacity.
Feb. 14 is a day to
celebrate that love —
wherever it may be found,
proudly by all, and not
clouded among takes by
those once bitten and
twice shy.
CW / Susan Xiao