Lot's Wife Edition 3 2013

EDITION 3 2013

PUTTING THE 

CALL OUT FOR 

CONTRIBUTORS. 

NO EXPERIENCE 

NECESSARY. 

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CONTENTS 

6. Editorials 

7. Letters to the editor 

8. National Affairs 

14. International Affairs 

20. Student Affairs 

28. Science 

31. Music 

36. Film & TV 

42. Performing Arts 

46. Creative Space 

50. Culture 

Thanks 

To our band of proofreaders; Jake, Michelle, 

Mell and John, who stepped in at the last 

minute when all seemed lost. To all who 

appeared in the the Monash, is my store? 

video. And to Tristan, our trusty camera man. 

Image Credits 

Thomas Alomes - cover design 

Vol Pour Sydney 

Kyle Bean - 

Sara Dehm - p12 

Section Editors 

National Affairs: Thomas Clelland and Elizabeth Boag 

International Affairs: Carlie O’Connell 

Student Affairs: Hannah Barker and Ioan Nascu 

Science: Caitlyn Burchell, Shalaka Parekh and Nicola McCaskill 

Music: Dina Amin, Augustus Hebblewhite, Leah Phillips and 

Steven M. Voser 

Film & TV: Ghian Tjandaputra and Patricia Tobin 

Performing Arts: Christine Lambrianidis and Thomas Alomes 

Creative Writing: Allison Chan, Michelle Li and Thomas Wilson 

Culture: Hannah Gordon and Christopher Pase 

Online News: Julia Greenhalf 

Web Design: Choon Yin-Yeap and Jake Spicer 

As you read this paper you are on Aboriginal land. We at Lot’s Wife recognise the Wurundjeri and Boon Wurrung peoples of the Kulin Nations as the 

historical and rightful owners and custodians of the lands and waters on which this newspaper is produced. The land was stolen and sovereignty was never 

ceded. 

Lot’s Wife Student Newspaper est. 1964. Monash University Clayton, VIC. 

Lot’s Wife does not condone the publishing of racist, sexist, militaristic or queerphobic material. The views expressed herein do not necessarily reflect the views of the editors or 

the MSA. Submitted articles may be altered. All writing and artwork remains the property of the producers and may not be reproduced without their written consent. 

T: 03 9905 8174 

W: lotswife.com.au 

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© 2013 Monash Student Association. All Rights Reserved. 

don’t look back. 

LOT’S WIFE EDITION 3 • 2013 

5

EDITORIAL 

MATTHEW CAMPBELL AND FLORENCE RONEY 

Coming down Dandenong Rd towards Clayton campus there’s a huge 

billboard pitched in the grass in front of some trees. It wouldn’t look 

out of place from behind a train window rolling into Richmond station, 

but for whatever reason whoever put it there seemed to think the space 

was wasted not advertising Monash to Monash students. Three lamps 

adorn the top, and are switched on all night; so as to make sure its 

triumphant proclamation is visible 24/7. 

“According to the New York Times,” it reads, “the world’s top 

CEOs are more likely to hire Monash graduates”. Underneath is a 

landscape picture of New York City at dusk and in the footer is the 

Monash University logo and slogan (of somewhat dubious grammatical 

accuracy) “Where brilliant begins”. 

While this smug little assurance (if you can call it that) may be 

attractive to the some, it pays little compliment to the very people 

who are responsible for helping craft the minds that supposedly end up 

behind those New York windows. 

The rhetoric behind this billboard’s sentiment is the notion that 

Monash is streets ahead of other universities as a quality education 

provider and research institute. We might like to believe this, but the 

reality is a mess of contradictions. What the billboards don’t show is 

the barrel-scraping and penny-pinching that goes on behind the scenes 

to present this face not only to the world, but to you as well; all under 

the guise of economic rationale and prestige. 

Have you ever walked past the law building which is currently 

under redevelopments “that will reflect the prestige of the Faculty and 

enhance the buildings position as a gateway to the campus”, or walked 

through Menzies and gazed upon those stupid fucking hanging lights 

and wondered how much this all cost? 

Take a moment to consider that while tens of millions of dollars 

are being spent beautifying and landscaping, 50% of undergraduate 

teaching staff across Australia are working on casual contracts, employed 

semester by semester, year by year. 

For a community as complex as Monash University to function 

effectively, you would think that its biggest stakeholders; students and 

staff; would at least warrant more than a tokenistic say on its highest 

decision making body, University Council. Yet, in the interest of 

“proper governance”, our Chancellor, Alan Finkel, responded to state 

legislation which removed mandatory election of student and staff 

representatives from council with Mr-Burns-esque diabolism. 

Times will only become more trying with the recent announcement 

of $2.8 billion federal cuts to the university sector to fund the 

Gonski reforms, of which Monash is set to lose $48 million. Ed Byrne, 

our Vice-Chancellor has said in response to these cuts “I am afraid I 

cannot rule out job losses” however there have been no indications 

of any desire to reduce his own wage, an annual salary of over a million 

dollars. Nor has there been any suggestion that the $90 million that was 

budgeted for building redevelopment in 2013 alone will be altered. 

The $20 million spending on re-landscaping the Menzies lawn is 

another shining example of University administration not having their 

priorities in check. While Monash University undergoes extensive plastic 

surgery, from the inside it is rotting. 

This edition of Lot’s Wife is full of many interesting, entertaining 

and thought provoking articles. However it is the blue pill. If you wish, 

keep reading; you can carry on with your day as though you had never 

read this editorial. However, we encourage you, if you haven’t already, to 

go back to the magazine stand and pick up a copy of the Special Edition. 

This is the red pill, distinguished by the green, four-headed monster on 

the front cover. It deals in more detail with all of the things discussed 

here. We will take you into the matrix that is Monash University. 

6 LOT’S WIFE EDITION 3 • 2013

LETTERS TO THE EDITORS 

We would love to hear from you. 

Email your thoughts, grievances and marriage proposals to 


Dear Editors, 

Dear Editors, 

I just wanted to write to say how much I enjoy your magazine, it’s great to read 

something which contains a spectrum of viewpoints and opinions. It’s unlike 

anything I have read before- thoroughly fantastic. 

-Benjamin Potter 

I find it alarming that an editor of Lot’s Wife finds using 

uninspired ad hominem attacks in lieu of reasonable criticism 

to be worthy of publication (Re: Lot’s Wife, Edition 2, 

Matthew Campbell, Page 6). I hope this isn’t misconstrued 

as being supportive of education cuts in the TAFE sector; 

being a prior “student of the Yarra Valley”, I have had firsthand 

experience of the devastation of these cuts. It seems 

rather silly to me to have to identify myself as “one of you 

guys”, since criticism of anyone should be taken seriously 

on both sides of the political spectrum, and I hope it was an 

unnecessary distinction. 

Back to my main argument: Those cuts to education 

are a legitimate target of criticism. However, that provides 

no justification for calling Ted Baillieu a “spineless pig-dog”, 

among other such colourful descriptions. Imagine the uproar if 

the author disagreed with Julia Gillard on this or that policy, 

and then proceeded to label her in a similar boorish fashion. 

There would be cries of sexism and bigotry, and rightly so. 

Hopefully this example makes clear the rank hypocrisy on 

display here. 

The editor then proceeds to make the extraordinary 

claim that Baillieu was a “cheater” and a “match fixer” at 

sports. Of course, the editor only means this as a humorous 

aside rather than a factual claim, but it is simply another 

telling example of creating this unrealistic caricature of 

Baillieu instead of addressing any real issues. You may as 

well say “Baillieu smells funny” for all the relevance it has to 

anything in this editorial. 

Perhaps all this is even more disappointing considering 

the quality of the rest of this edition; Jake Antmann’s 

Letter to the Editor, and David Heslin’s “Notes for Critical 

Activism”, in particular, are both praiseworthy and thoughtprovoking 

pieces, and it does them little credit to be placed 

alongside such ridiculous diatribes as this. 

-David Charlwood 


7

NATIONAL AFFAIRS 

LABOR: LOCKED 

IN THE 

THIRD QUARTER? 

University cutbacks? 

They’re Gonski 

James Barklamb 

When Labor Minister, Bill Shorten, fronted a television interview in the 

hours following the spontaneous combustion of his party’s leadership, 

he invoked a curious, if not condescending, analogy to pacify claims of 

dysfunction against the federal government. In a desperate bid to assert 

a sense of order over the day’s political catastrophe, Shorten claimed 

Labor’s caucus was akin to a football team, and that the team was merely 

confronting the question of who should be the ultimate captain. 

Yet for a ‘team’ which Shorten claims to be locked in the “third 

quarter” of this high stakes game of national affairs, their resolution 

attempt appears futile, for the fat lady has long since sung and their 

supporters are duly fleeing the stadium gates, hoping to escape the 

merciless result awaiting the final siren. 

In an abstract sense, the ‘sport’ of federal politics is not that far 

removed from the gladiatorial contests which consume the bloodthirsty 

colosseum of the typical antipodean weekend. Both spheres provide us 

with the partisan rhetoric to blindly follow the aims of our own ‘teams’ 

and attack those of others. Both spheres help to guide ourselves and 

others to identify who we are and where we belong. Both spheres provide 

us with the front and back page canvases upon which our city’s tabloids 

incite their hyperbolic invectives. And importantly, both spheres 

convince us that ‘winning at all costs’ is the aim of the game. 

Yet whilst it may be easy to perennially forgive the failings of our 

own football teams, forever returning to them in the hope that ‘maybe 

this will be our year’; when faced with equal dysfunction in our political 

party’s operations, we should not allow our partisan bias to shield 

necessary electoral punishment. For when my team -the Dees - face 

internal ructions, on field disunity or make poor judgements throughout 

the course of a season, I lose. Yet, when these elements are present in a 

governing party of the entire country, we all lose. 

At the beginning of any sporting season, each team enters with 

a clear desire to execute goals for which they have planned; promising 

their supporters ‘the world’ in exchange for their hope and support. 

Politics largely mimics such initial optimism, yet importantly, produces 

policy ‘goals’ which -unlike those of competing sporting teamsare 

rarely mutually exclusive to the interests of the majority playing the 

‘game’. 

The Gillard government’s vision to reform education through 

the ‘Gonski’ funding model, is arguably the ALP’s grandest policy goal 

which remains unresolved. Yet in confirming that it would be Australia’s 

university sector which would burden a significant proportion of the 

budget reallocation toward Gonski, the ALP has not only robbed an 

already underfunded Peter, to pay Paul, but has also played off the 

interests of students of all ages against each other. 

Unfortunately for Labor, the backlash against cuts to public funding 

in a sector that is already ranked 25th of 29 OECD countries, further 

plays into the Coalition’s narrative describing Labor as dysfunctional 

economic managers. Furthermore, it gives Tony Abbott ammunition to 

criticise Labor for public sector cutbacks, which he himself would more 

8 

LOT’S WIFE EDITION 3 • 2013


likely have enacted by choice, rather than economic necessity. 

When a government faces continual losses and declining public 

support, it is easy for the party in control to make rash decisions 

to protect a policy they feel will induce unbearable criticism if not 

delivered. Yet, this approach conceives of a policy like the Gonski 

reforms as some kind of ‘silver bullet’; whose fulfilment will simply 

obfuscate the electorate’s memory of the preceding term in office. Much 

like the question of a party’s leadership, it implies that a short-term 

change to the status-quo will be all that stands between certain defeat 

and potential success. 

Such reforms should instead be seen as necessary improvements 

which aim to complement existing educational structures; requiring our 

consistent attention and support in order to achieve success. For whilst 

the ideological purity of giving greater opportunities to underprivileged 

students may be momentarily inspiring, there remains little point in 

fostering a generation of enlightened, better-educated students, if our 

tertiary institutions are incapable of supporting them in years to come. 

In our nation’s capital, our political battles are fought between our 

two gladiatorial parties, each with their own incentives to defeat each 

other from week to week. Yet unlike our sporting teams, who can afford 

to fight their battles ‘one week at a time’, politics demands a much 

broader vision, spanning years, if not decades; where victory is far from 

fleeting and redemption can lie years away. It requires government to 

invest reasonably in all sectors critical to the nation’s success, even when 

such investment requires them to divest themselves of a partisan goal for 

the good of the entire nation. 

Unlike the nation’s sporting competitions, Australian politics 

cannot afford any single ‘team’ to dominate to the exclusion of its 

competitors, nor can it afford for those watching to abandon the 

spectacle from sheer frustration. It especially cannot afford for one 

‘team’ to become absorbed in its own internal challenges, when such 

distractions cloud their ability to achieve the goals to which they are 

committed. 

I’m not encouraging Labor, or its supporters, to make a final, valiant 

attempt to salvage their operations in an attempt to justify re-election; 

for the house which is Labor’s electoral chances is already burning to the 

ground. Instead, I’m imploring Labor to execute the policy goals already 

set, whilst not compromising otherwise critical sectors, before they too 

are stained by the black smoke of electoral annihilation. 

If Labor fails to salvage a respectable defeat, then it will be the 

Australian people who suffer greatest. We will be beholden to the 

domination of an Abbott coalition with a mandate which confers no 

more than their opponent’s incompetence. On September 15, we may 

well wake up to a unenviable contest between two asymmetric sides; one 

free from the constraints of political compromise and another without 

enough players to field a competitive team. 


9

SUBHEADING 



A NATIONAL BROADBAND 

NETWORK? OR MALWARE? 

Richard Plumridge 

There were a few awkward moments during the Coalition’s broadband 

policy launch. When Tony Abbott, hardly the nation’s most gifted public 

speaker, started using words like “megabits” and “HFC cabling”, one 

could see the technical elocution education that preceded it: “Yes, Tony, 

people watch television on computers. No, Tony, no more 68cm CRTs.” 

The ungainly back-patting from Abbott to erstwhile leadership rival, 

Malcolm Turnbull served to undermine Abbott’s place in this whole 

charade. As Alan Kohler has argued, Malcolm Turnbull has single-handedly 

saved the NBN. He has taken the Liberals from a party hell-bent on 

destroying the NBN to one willing to spend tens of billions of taxpayer 

dollars on their own broadband vision. Come September, this will likely 

be the new, albeit imperfect, National Broadband Network. How far we 

have come. 

What the Coalition’s policy is: 

First things first, the Coalition’s broadband policy is a complete 

policy document. Unlike most Coalition policies (such as “stopping the 

boats” or “ending the waste” as ‘detailed’ in “Our Plan: Real Solutions 

for All Australians”), it is no glossy brochure. No fluffy pictures of Tony 

or Mal in hi-viz, just words. Many, many words. This sort of documentary 

detail should be demanded more often from our politicians. Ahem, 

Scott Morrison. 

Basically, the Coalition’s broadband policy is to lay fibre just like 

Labor’s NBN, except that instead of fibre passing and connecting to every 

home as in Labor’s NBN, the fibre will terminate at a roadside node. 

From there, it will use the existing copper network to connect homes to 

the network. This use of the existing copper network is the policy’s most 

contentious aspect. According to Telstra, copper has a lifespan of around 

30 years and 80% of the copper network is either close to or beyond this 

age. 

What the Coalition’s policy is not: 

The Coalition’s broadband policy is not, technically speaking, a 

patch on Labor’s NBN. It’s not even a pale imitation. With quoted minimum 

speeds of 25mbit/s up to a maximum 100mbit/s, it does not compare 

to the NBN’s minimum of 100mbit/s. 

The optical fibre of the NBN offers far greater speed and reliability. 

However, where the Coalition sees “no evidence” that customers need 

or want the high bandwidth fibre offers, those in the technology industry 

envisage the unlimited potential of fibre. 

Fibre is good for you 

Abbott is “absolutely confident” that 25 megabits-per-second will 

be “more than enough” for households. In 2013, maybe. In 2023, probably 

not. After all, it was only 15 years ago that most households connected 

via ‘adequate’ 28.8kbps dial-up modems. Average speeds today are 

over 170 times faster than those line-clogging tech dinosaurs. Imagine 

what the next fifteen years might bring? If it’s anything like the last 

fifteen, the only technology capable of delivering the same bandwidth 

increases is fibre. 

Optical fibre is as close to a “future-proof” technology as possible. 

Since fibre was first employed in undersea communications cables in the 

1980s, it has invisibly revolutionised telecommunications. While copper 

cables have physical limits on the amount of data they can transmit, 

optical fibre is yet to reach its full potential. 

Although Turnbull argues future developments of vectoring and 

VDSL may deliver higher speeds over copper, these are essentially transitional 

technologies propping up an ageing network. While future DSL 

technologies could, on a good day with the sun shining and with no-one 

else using the line, deliver maybe 200 mbit/s, fibre could do it in a pinch 

and as the Google Fiber project in Kansas has demonstrated, can go even 

faster. 

The Coalition’s broadband network will cost 75% of the Labor 

NBN, but will deliver maximum speeds 10% of the NBN’s realistic 

potential. Of course Turnbull and Abbott have argued their fibre-tothe-node 

network can be upgraded over time, but wouldn’t it be more 

prudent to do it once and to do it properly? 

The vision thing 

The electorate often bangs on about politicians not having a 

“vision” for the country, but when Kevin Rudd and Stephen Conroy 

announced a fibre-to-the-home national network, it was a bold decision 

that required “vision”. It was a vision that imagined Australia as the 

world leader in a field that, for once, wasn’t an Olympic sport. A piece 

of infrastructure Australians could rightly feel proud of as they rode their 

steam-era rail infrastructure to work or paid five times as much for a pair 

of jeans at the department store. Perhaps Donald Horne’s “tyranny of 

distance” could finally be overcome? 

No. It was too much to ask for. Critics attached moronic car analogies 

where optical fibre became the “Rolls-Royce” of available options, 

rather than an inspired, forward-looking strategy. Another popular pejorative 

was describing the construction of world-leading infrastructure as 

“gold-plating”. Now Australia will have an adequate system. A mediocre 

network for a mediocre country. Perhaps future politicians will heed 

the experiences of their predecessors before employing something stupid 

like “vision”. 


11


INFINITE 

DETENTION: 

Life is like living in a Cemetary 

for ASIO rejected refugees 

Kiera McClelland and Dean Vincent 

On Monday April 8th this year, 30 refugees imprisoned within 

Broadmeadows Detention Centre (or as our government calls it, 

“Melbourne Immigration Transit Accommodation”) began a hunger strike 

against their indefinite detention. A statement released by the refugees on 

the night they began their hunger strike highlights their desperation: 

“We have painted banners as part of our protest. There is one that 

shows many people hanging. That is what we want to happen to us if we 

are not released… we can’t keep living like this. We are not in detention. 

We are in a cemetery.” 

The refugees that have been on hunger strike call themselves “ASIO 

rejected refugees”. They have been granted refugee status, but have been 

given negative security assessments by ASIO for unknown, undisclosed 

reasons, allowing the Australian government to continue detaining them 

indefinitely. For these refugees, this means being imprisoned for the rest 

of their lives. 

The Broadmeadows hunger strikers have since stopped their hunger 

strike after days 10 days without food. A representative of the government 

has been forced to agree to meet with them and hear their demands. Their 

story is one of bravery and inspiration, contrary to our own government’s 

cowardice and depravation. 

However, their story is in no way unique. For as long as our 

government has locked up refugees in their tax-payer funded, privately 

run prison camps, refugees have resisted, refusing to be simple victims of 

a racist government. In 2000, hundreds of refugees escaped from three 

separate detention centres throughout South Australia and Western 

Australia, travelling into nearby city centres and protesting for their rights. 

Again in 2002, 40 refugees broke out of Woomera detention centre after 

over 1000 protestors descended on the now infamous Woomera prison. 

At Villawood Detention centre in 2011, 100 refugees rioted and set 

fire to the torture chamber they were detained in. In 2010, at a detention 

centre in Darwin, 100 refugees rioted and staged a rooftop protest. The 

following day more than 90 refugees escaped the prison and held a mass 

protest on a nearby highway, displaying banners the surmised their 

situation: “we are homeless, defenceless, innocent”. 

Stories like those above only touch on the inspirational history of 

refugee resistance in this country in response to the pitifully racist policies 

put forward by Australian government after Australian government. 

Oppressed groups in society have never been silent. They have always 

fought back and we need to fight back with them. And for as long as 

refugees have been imprisoned, the have been screaming for their freedom. 

We need to scream with them. 

This is why groups such as the Monash Refugee Action Collective 

(MRAC) exist. MRAC is a student activist group based at Clayton campus 

that is committed to standing in opposition to all forms of mandatory 

detention of refugees as well as the blatantly racist rhetoric that both the 

major parties use, portraying refugees as criminals instead of what they 

really are – scared, traumatised and lost people only wish to be safe from 

the horrors of war. 

Grassroots campaigns such as MRAC are the most effective way of 

communicating the truth behind the government cover-up of treatment 

of refugees to the general public. A movement built on the ground, by 

the people, to inspire the masses and push back against the propaganda 

of parliamentarians will without a doubt be the most powerful tool in 

bringing about an end to the inhumane treatment of our fellow human 

beings. The power of the people when united in the fight for a common 

cause is overwhelming, and as evidenced in the civil rights movement of 

the 1960’s, has the power to force social change. 

Large events such as protests, rallies and demonstrations are just one 

part of the grassroots campaign, and are a key opportunities to push back 

against the racism of the Australian government. One such event is being 

held this month; in protest against the mandatory detention of refugees 

by the Australian Government, a demonstration is being held outside 

the Broadmeadows Detention Centre on the 28th of April, where the 

aforementioned hunger strike occurred. This is a protest no-one can miss. 

Indeed, if the plight of refugees seeking asylum in Australia, from 

what is considered a ‘progressive’ nation, has appalled you, made you feel 

upset, or disgusted, or angry, then you should stand up, and make your 

voice heard! Get involved in what is a vital campaign to change the lives 

of those who are being unjustly detained. 

The protest outside Broadmeadows Detention Centre is to be held 

at 1pm on April 28th. For more information, or to learn more about 

MRAC, contact Dean on 0425808173 or dvin5@student.monash.edu. 

12 



IN CONVERSATION WITH THE CONVERSATION 

Florence Roney & Matthew Campbell 

In a global society where the 24-hour news cycle dictates the way we 

consume our media, we have grown to expect news and analysis to be 

delivered instantaneously from all over the world. With the pressure to 

constantly break news, have live updates and keep the public ‘informed’, 

critical analysis, investigative journalism and sometimes even facts go by 

the way side. 

This is evident in recent media coverage of the Boston Marathon 

bombings; The New York Post and members of Reddit incorrectly featured 

and shared an image of Boston teenager, Salah Eddin Barhoum, thus 

associating him with the bombings, leaving him the target for unwarranted 

vitriol. Meanwhile CNN and the Associated Press, “the world’s oldest 

and largest news gathering organization” (according to their website), 

incorrectly reported ‘breaking news’ that a suspect had been arrested. 

It is within this vacuum that The Conversation has flourished. With 

over 840,000 independent visits a month it has quickly overtaken other 

independent news sites like Crikey to become Australia’s largest news and 

commentary site in its two years of existence. Based in Melbourne, on the 

principle of free information to underpin a healthy democracy, the site has 

a contributor base of over 5,000 writers sourced from over 300 universities 

from Australia and around the world. 

According to Peter Doherty, Nobel Laureate and former Australian 

of the Year, “Within the Australian Universities we have an enormous 

depth of expertise and talent…If we take anything from economics, to 

engineering, to marine biology to astrophysics, people who can speak 

authoritatively on what is happening there can be found within our 

universities. What we need is a well regarded and well edited website 

that will allow the general public to access that information and those 

insights.” The Conversation is this website. 

Academic writing is often dismissed as too difficult to understand and 

academics are subsequently perceived to be elitist. But The Conversation 

acknowledges that the expertise of people who have spent their lives 

gathering information is an invaluable contribution to popular discourse. 

To bridge the gap between the academic and the general public, content 

is edited by professional journalists and editors to make it more accessible. 

The organisation is not-for-profit, with all content free to access. 

This stands against the current trend, with most of the mainstream media 

moving towards pay walls. This philosophy is also seen in the sharing 

of the website’s content: all work is published with creative commons 

licensing, meaning that it can be easily re-published by anyone in the 

world without infringing copyright. 

Managing Editor Misha Ketchell acknowledges that not every 

academic or researcher will necessarily want, or be able to communicate, 

their ideas to a wider public audience. 

However, “at the end of the day, universities are public institutions 

that serve the public good and their role is to contribute to society more 

broadly; whether that be by communicating about the research they are 

doing, or new ideas to informing public discussion about topical issues,” 

he said. 

The Fact Check series is one way that the knowledge-base and 

research capacity of academics is effectively utilised. They are set the task 

of taking a comment made in the mainstream media and checking its 

accuracy, thus positively contributing to the public discourse. The first 

of these was run in January this year when Warren Truss, leader of the 

National Party and acting opposition leader at the time, claimed that 

“there’ll be more CO2 emissions from these fires than there will be from 

coal-fired power stations for decades.” 

Philip Gibbons, a senior lecturer at Australian National University 

who specialises in forestry management and environment, checked the 

statement and found that Truss’ claims were entirely inaccurate. 

He said that the fires would need to “burn an area of forest the size 

of New South Wales to generate CO2 emissions equivalent to a decade of 

burning coal for electricity”. 

It seems almost dangerous not to utilise this kind of resource. 

Academics are often well-positioned to judge if what is being discussed in 

the public sphere is to the detriment of popular opinion. “I think it’s really 

valuable to have people who actually know what they are talking about 

involved in public debate,” Ketchell said. “We’ve had too few of them up 

until now”. 

The academic voice in the media is something desirous in and 

of itself, not only in the sense of articles and commentary, but also by 

creating a media-savvy talent pool of experts for the mainstream media to 

draw from, creating conversations which may never have arisen without 

the nuance that comes from years of study and research. However, the 

current media landscape is such that there’s a certain ironic sense in 

which we have to ‘shop around’ to find credible and reliable commentary; 

especially as newspapers and other forms of old media become increasingly 

agenda driven. Nowhere else could this be more contemptuous than in 

the media, the societal construct that is meant to keep all others in check. 

However, this is a reflection of the shortcomings of news consumers, as to 

a greater extent it is us, the consumer who buys the paper or clicks on the 

link which drives the media monster. 

The Conversation has the capacity to inform the broader community 

at large, but without our engagement with the ideas it brings to the table, 

may never hold the clout of more mainstream publications. 

It is an uphill battle; online media has a tendency to create niche 

markets, in the sense that like-minded people can easily congregate in the 

inter-web, not looking to challenge their own opinions. But independent 

media is growing, while newspaper circulation rates decline, so perhaps 

the media is not as doomed as we may think. 

LOT’S WIFE EDITION 3 • 2013 13

INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS 

PUBLIC IMAGE: LIMITED 

Political Leaders, Policy, Personality, And Party Politics 

Bren Carruthers 

In recent months, whilst Australian politics 

was wrangling with a leadership spill that 

never existed, the world saw the death of two 

extremely prolific political leaders. Major 

media sources fell over themselves in the race 

to report the death of Margaret Thatcher, the 

former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, 

whilst comparatively; the media met the news 

that President of Venezuela Hugo Chávez had 

succumbed to cancer with virtual apathy. Two 

leaders, so diametrically opposed in their politics 

and philosophy, yet so similar in not only 

their dramatic impact on their nations, but 

also in their notability as personalities. 

For those uninitiated in the history and 

nuance of world politics, perhaps it’s best to 

reflect on the lives and legacies of these two 

late leaders. 

Margaret Thatcher 

Vast accounts on Margaret Thatcher and 

her legacy have of course, by this point, already 

been written and dissected by every major 

news source on the planet. The general consensus 

– that she was a woman who polarised 

the United Kingdom – almost seems undeniably 

understated. A conservative neo-liberal 

who was elected as Prime Minister in 1979 and 

inherited a discontented nation wallowing in 

recession, Thatcher attacked British society 

with the ferocity and brute force of a steamroller. 

Her Premiership saw mass privatisation 

of British industrial assets, rampant free 

marketeering, significant attacks on trade 

unionism and the working class, and a shady 

stance in foreign affairs, including refusing 

to impose sanctions on Apartheid South 

Africa, and even at one stage, support for the 

Khmer Rouge. From middle-class anonymity, 

to fortuitously securing an Oxford University 

scholarship, Thatcher’s steel will saw her ascend 

to the upper echelons of the British class 

hierarchy. 

Upon the news of her death, the University 

of Melbourne Student Union’s (UMSU) 

Student Council almost immediately passed a 

motion to “celebrate her death unreservedly”. 

The fact that she has had the ability to inspire 

such vitriol, particularly from students who 

were not even alive to see her reign as leader, 

speaks volumes of her notoriety. “Ding-Dong! 

The Witch Is Dead”, the popular musical 

standard from The Wizard Of Oz, raced to the 

#1 position on the UK Singles Chart. Celebrations 

were held, not only within the UK, but 

also across the globe. Yet still, tens of thousands 

of Britons lined the streets for Thatcher’s 

state funeral procession. 

Hugo Chávez 

Hailing from a relatively poor background, 

Hugo Chávez sought a good portion 

of his education through the military, and 

eventually formulated his own brand of 

socialism based on Bolivarianism, labeled 

Chavismo. Placing heavy emphasis on social 

justice, education, a sense of harmony between 

the military and regular civilians, as well as 

balancing a strong sense of national sovereignty 

whilst encouraging Latin American unity, 

Chávez raised the nation to a level of prosperity 

never before seen in Venezuela. During just 

a ten-year portion of his reign, the poverty rate 

in Venezuela fell from 48.6% to just 29.5%. 

Yet for all his achievements, Chávez’s 

failings cannot be ignored. Under his tenure, 

press freedom in Venezuela was ranked as some 

of the worst endured in the world. Whilst 

human rights were a fundamental focus in 

the constitution Chávez saw to introduce and 

uphold, a report released by the Organization 

of American States in 2010 expressed considerable 

concerns about – amongst other aspects 

of Venezuelan life – freedom of expression, 

threats to democracy, an erosion of separation 

of powers, authoritarianism and human rights 

abuses. 

For Chávez, maintaining a positive image 

of himself in the eyes of his citizens and cultivating 

his celebrity was a primary focus in his 

life as political leader. Particularly in the early 

years of his leadership, Chávez was keen to sell 

his personality as well as his politics, hosting 

weekly radio and TV shows in which he not 

only revealed and explained his policies, but 

also spoke with citizens, and even told jokes 

and sung songs. This, along with some particularly 

creative and provocative barbs directed at 

his enemies, mainly in the U.S., helped endear 

him to a nation. He too, despite his failings, 

was mourned by a nation. 

Yet in all the architecture that is applied 

in the construction of the public persona of 

any political leader, whether truthful or fabricated, 

whether an image of strength or one of 

affability, there is one simple factor that is often 

left well forgotten. There is an inescapable 

14 



truth that a staff of likeminded and supportive 

individuals is required to stand behind any 

Governmental leader, each supporter with 

their own input and their own agenda. 

In Venezuelan politics, the primary example 

of a likeminded off-sider is the recently 

appointed President Nicolás Maduro, once 

recognised as the “most capable administrator 

and politician of Chávez’s inner circle”. 

So aligned with his policies and principles, 

Chávez himself called upon the Venezuelan 

people to install Maduro as his successor in the 

event that he lose his battle with cancer. 

Conversely for Thatcher, it was the loss 

of a party ally that ultimately proved to be her 

undoing. Geoffrey Howe, Thatcher’s Deputy 

Prime Minister and the last remaining member 

of the first cabinet she established in 1979, 

tended his resignation, and began a domino effect 

which saw Thatcher demoted to warming 

the back bench of Parliament within the space 

of just two weeks. 

As Thatcher learnt during those weeks in 

November 1990, no one leader acts alone. Adolf 

Hitler is frequently cited as one of history’s 

greatest monsters, and rather aptly. But even 

in such a prominently documented example 

of political power as the Third Reich, the 

impact and influences of the likes of Goebbels, 

Göring, and Himmler are often forgotten in 

general discussion. Currently, in the United 

States, Barack Obama has enjoyed the active 

engagement of many cabinet members, most 

notably former Presidential hopefuls John Kerry 

and Hilary Clinton. In Russia, an unusual 

power-sharing arrangement labeled a ‘tandemocracy’ 

has been loosely formed between Vladimir 

Putin and Dmitry Medvedev, describing 

how the two alternate between the Russian 

Presidency and Prime Ministership with the 

support of their conservative ‘United Russia’ 

party. Even Kim Jong-Un, perhaps currently 

the world’s most fashionable despot, has a large 

number of deputies and consultants, many of 

their services inherited from his father, former 

leader Kim Jong-Il. Whilst political leaders 

hold varying degrees of power over the policies 

they put forward or enforce, politics is inescapably 

a team effort. 

Of course, Australian politics is no different, 

yet we have a habit of forgetting the input 

of those that stand behind our leaders. Take for 

example the competing National Broadband 

plans currently being debated. The plans have 

been primarily engineered by Stephen Conroy 

and Malcolm Turnbull and their staff as part 

of their roles as Communications Minister and 

Shadow Communications Minister respectively, 

and adopted by their parties as policy. Yet 

almost without fail, when something we find 

reprehensible is discussed as policy, it’s “Bloody 

Juliar” or “Fucking Abbott” who still bear the 

brunt of our derision. 

“...almost without fail, 

when something we find 

reprehensible is discussed as 

policy, it’s “Bloody Juliar” 

or “Fucking Abbott” who 

still bear the brunt of our 

derision.” 

One needs to wonder: if the recent Labor 

leadership spill had gone to Simon Crean’s 

plan and seen Kevin Rudd resume the role of 

Prime Minister, would attaching a different, 

more popular face to what would inevitably be 

the same policies have really been any more 

than a band-aid solution for an increasingly 

unpopular party leading into an election? Are 

we this shallow? Are we, as Australian citizens, 

really so superficial in our political engagement 

that we are willing to vote against a Prime 

Minister because we don’t like the sound of her 

voice? We chuckle at images of Tony Abbott 

in his speedos, but do those budgie smugglers 

truly have any relevance in his aptitude as a 

potential Prime Minister? Are Julia Gillard’s 

new glasses really front page news? Even Bob 

Katter, with his complete inability to verbally 

articulate anything other than garbled nonsense, 

has the ability to form, support and even 

direct intelligible political policy. 

I, for one, will not be joining those metaphorically 

dancing on the grave of Margaret 

Thatcher – yet I will not judge those who 

choose to. I will neither mourn, nor celebrate 

the deaths of Thatcher or Chávez – yet this 

is not primarily due to a reverence for the 

recently deceased. Instead, it derives from the 

realisation that these people, whilst wielding 

power, are simply figureheads of a larger 

regime. In the purest sense, they are largely 

symbols of political ideology. 

Legacies have already been transcribed 

into the tomes of history. Lessons – we hope – 

have already been learnt. Pain and bitterness 

borne from injustices lingers, but aside from 

providing a moment of catharsis and closure, 

moments such as the deaths of Thatcher and 

Chávez often produce no tangible change. But 

there is a lesson to be taken from this. Without 

the considerable support of a group of peers, 

such as a political party, or a military junta, or 

an autocrat’s cabinet, politicians and political 

leaders have no course to assume power. And 

without power, they are just idealists, philosophers 

and daydreamers, sitting at home, yelling 

at the TV. 

When the Federal election rolls around 

on September 14, which will be the first opportunity 

to vote for many Lot’s Wife readers, 

remember to inform yourself and vote for policy, 

not personality. Unlike your voting slip for 

the Logies, your vote can actually change lives. 

If we ever reach a point where Joel Madden 

is elected to Australian Parliament, then we 

have all made a grievous, horrible error. 


MERRY CHRISTMAS? 

How institutionalised religion is over 

David Heslin 

“Our Judeo-Christian heritage”: it’s a phrase that will be familiar to 

anyone who has heard a conservative Western politician speak. As 

religion plays a decreasing role in developed societies, it’s become an 

almost desperate refrain; a call to even the least spiritually-inclined 

amongst us to acknowledge our debt to monotheism. 

There’s a good reason for its local proponents to be concerned. 

Although 61% of Australians identified as Christian in the most 

recent census, a considerable proportion appear to be merely nominal. 

Occasional church attendees constitute a little over a quarter of that 

number; by the time we get to regular attendance, the percentage is 

down to single figures. Practising Christians are very much a minority in 

21st century Australia, and a declining one at that. 

Still, remnants of the old order persist. The Lord’s Prayer precedes 

every parliamentary Question Time; government-funded chaplains 

continue to operate in public schools; Christmas and Good Friday 

remain our two most widely-observed public holidays. While these may 

all seem hopeless anachronisms, the last is arguably the strangest. In a 

multicultural, arguably post-Christian society, doesn’t it strike us as odd 

that the two hardest days on which to buy groceries are the ones that 

commemorate the life of a specific religious figure? 

For proponents of Judeo-Christian values, it’s an entirely reasonable 

state of affairs: after all, tradition plays an important role in society; 

and religious ritual, they would argue, is an integral part of our cultural 

history. Some go as far as to credit Christianity with the development 

of concepts such as democracy, freedom of speech and the principle of 

equality. To them, if maintaining a couple of religiously-themed national 

days helps us recognise that debt, then all for the better. 

Some of these arguments are, at best, gravely misleading. While 

Christians played significant roles in reform movements such as the 

abolition of slavery and the African-American (and, locally, Indigenous 

Australian) civil rights campaigns of the ‘60s, it’s easy to forget 

that at least as much progress was achieved in direct opposition to 

religious institutions. No organisations have done more to suppress the 

development of Western scientific and political thought over the last 

few centuries than the Catholic Church and its protestant successors, 

and it is no coincidence that the social gains of the Renaissance onwards 

have been accompanied by the steady decline of these institutions. In 

the emergence of social democracy from repressive theocratic monarchy, 

Christianity has played far less of a role than secular humanism. 

That’s a tradition founded more in Plato and Socrates than in the Ten 

Commandments. 

It is that humanist tradition that encouraged the American 

founding fathers to enshrine the separation of church and state in law, 

a principle echoed in Australia’s constitution: “The Commonwealth 

shall not make any law for establishing any religion, or for imposing 

any religious observance”. In the United States, that provision is taken 

rather more seriously than it is here — it may surprise many to learn that 

Good Friday is only observed today by a minority of states; and, even 

then, in a much more limited fashion. 

Of course, this is at least somewhat a reflection of America’s 

particular brand of libertarianism; it’s impossible, here, to disentangle 

this topic entirely from the issue of workers’ rights. Still, the point 

of contention here is not whether we should have public holidays at 

all — whatever the merits of that argument might be — but whether 

we should be observing these particular days. On a simple reading, our 

constitution would seem to advise against it. 

There’s some irony in the fact that the modern forms of Easter 

and Christmas are fairly incongruent with anything particularly Judeo- 

Christian: almost all of the paraphernalia associated with these days is 

clearly pagan in origin; in the case of Christmas, the whole celebration 

is said to have evolved from earlier Roman festivals. This is something 

we need to keep in mind when we think about traditions: nothing is 

fixed. Just as Australia Day has shifted from a national display of patriotic 

ambivalence to a day of flag-waving jingoism, Christmas has been 

reinterpreted as a secular day for family gatherings and the exchange of 

consumer goods. Only the most devout Christians still affix any serious 

religious meaning to the celebration. ‘Xmas’ and ‘Happy holidays’ are 

much-derided instances of supposed political correctness, but these terms 

bear far closer relation to the reality of contemporary Australia than 

any campaign to “put Christ back in Christmas”. Good Friday’s ongoing 

relevance as a public holiday, on the other hand, is a little more difficult 

to see. Perhaps it is destined to be a casualty of Australia’s religious 

ambivalence. 

If so, this would be no great loss. We should acknowledge the 

influences that shaped our society, but we should not consider ourselves 

bound by them. Western civilisation was also built on feudalism, 

imperialism and slavery, but nobody is arguing that these practices ought 

to be commemorated. Whilst the right to practise religion unhindered 

remains a fundamental component of a free society, it should not be a 

government’s role to ordain it; and religiously-themed public holidays are 

incongruous with 21st century Australian society. Change will be glacial, 

but one suspects that, in an increasingly multicultural, irreligious society, 

non-secularised public holidays are already living on borrowed time. 



HOW FAIR IS YOUR 

‘FAIRTRADE’ COFFEE? 

Sveta Tran 

‘Fairtrade’ coffee… a means for consumers to “satisfy their palate and their conscience at the same time” 

(The Economist). 

I recently conducted an experiment whereby I asked a number of people 

whether they buy ordinary coffee or that labelled Fairtrade. Where these 

people did buy Fairtrade coffee, I was curious to find out whether their 

choice was based in an assumed ethical value, and how aware they were of 

the label’s economic model. 

All bar one respondent proudly supported Fairtrade and its claims to 

‘useful’ consumption. They blindly believed that by drinking their favourite 

cup, they could somehow change the world for coffee growers. The final 

respondent was not a coffee drinker. 

The origins of Fairtrade are diverse and somewhat questionable. 

The Fairtrade certification was officially established by the Max Havelaar 

Foundation in 1988 in the Netherlands. Its birth followed in the trend of 

post-World War II charity developments. This period is known for the rapid 

development of not-for profit groups that aimed to aid developing countries. 

In particular, the optimism during the 1960s about development prospects 

nourished alternative trade organisations (ATOs) which attempted 

to support small producers in developing countries. 

The premise of Havelaar’s Fair Trade is multi-fold. It aims to protect 

farmers by guaranteeing a fixed minimum price for goods. This price is 

above market average. Furthermore, producers are assured sales regardless 

of whether the broader economic context is strong or weak. Fairtrade also 

seeks to correct the legacy of the colonial mercantilist system, and the 

kind of crony capitalism whereby large businesses obtain special privileges 

from local governments, preventing small businesses from competing and 

flourishing. 

Fair Trade, however, is not as good for producers as many assume. 

Companies that sell Fair Trade coffee usually buy it in bulk, for the set 

minimum price. It is sold at a premium, not all of which is directed to 

growers. Some profit is retained by the café where the beverage is sold, and 

some is directed towards paying for Fair Trade certification. FLO-CERT, 

the organisation responsible for certifying and inspecting provider and 

traders, charges between $2,000 and $4,000, plus annual fees, for the right 

to sell under the Fairtrade label. Its sister company, Fairtrade International, 

sets standards for trade, and runs the producer support unit. 

In other words, by purchasing Fairtrade products, consumers are not 

making the ethical gesture that they believe they are. Whilst they pay a 

premium, this is not necessarily reflected in any additional funds obtained 

by producers. Companies that sell Fairtrade are making a profit through 

marketing themselves as ‘ethical’. 

Very few companies mention that they pay for certification. One 

example is Hudsons Coffee, whose Fairtrade coffee is labelled ‘Fairtrade 

certification requires a ‘premium’ to be paid for having its label’. 

There are alternatives to Fairtrade that offer greater benefits to 

producers and are more transparent. The International Coffee Organisation 

(ICO), in conjection with the United Nations, developed an 

International Coffee Agreement in the early 1960s. This Agreement 

was most recently updated in 2007, and reflects ICO’s mission to make 

a “practical contribution to the development of a sustainable world 

coffee sector and to reducing poverty in developing countries.” Whilst 

reaching Agreements has sometimes proved problematic, ICO imitates 

many of the objectives of Fairtrade, and proves that Fairtrade is not 

alone in its objectives to help producers. 

Another economic issue with Fairtrade is its effect on supply. If a 

premium is available for fair-trade coffee, shouldn’t other growers enter 

the market to take advantage of it? Such a scenario would also raise 

distributional questions. If higher coffee prices attract market entrants, 

then coffee-growing nations will shift resources into that sector, which 

might be good for grower incomes, but could potentially inhibit the 

development of other economic activities. 

The cost of bringing coffee beans to shops is not as high as what 

consumers pay for the end product. Furthermore, the Fairtrade premium 

in not reflective of the real value gained by producers. In esence, 

Fairtrade is a clever marketing trend based on an assumed ‘ethical 

value’. There should be more awareness of the labels true value, for the 

benefit of consumers and producers alike. 


17


IT’S NOT JUST 

STEUBENVILLE 

Michelle Li 

“I woke up with no clothes on and I didn’t know 

what had happened at all. I was on a couch. My 

clothes were off. My hair was a mess and it felt 

weird.” 

For many of us, the aftermath of a night out is 

not an unfamiliar situation. Your head throbs, 

the light is blinding and, perhaps worst of all, 

your friends regale you with humiliating tales 

of what might have transpired. It’s par for the 

course; you pop some paracetamol and go to 

class. But imagine waking up to a photo on 

Instagram where you are unconscious and being 

slung, carcass-like, between two members of 

the football team. Imagine finding a YouTube 

video where a former student is talking about 

you, ‘the dead girl’ who is ‘so raped’; imagine 

seeing photos on Facebook where you are naked 

and passed out in the street; imagine reading 

posts on Twitter like ‘Some people deserved to 

be peed on’ and ‘Song of the night is definitely 

Rape Me by Nirvana’. And then imagine being 

unable to remember any of it. 

This is exactly what happened in August 

last year, when a 16-year-old West Virginian girl 

crossed the river for a string of end-of-summer 

parties in Steubenville, Ohio. In attendance 

were Trent Mays, 17, and Ma’lik Richmond, 16, 

both members of the Big Red football team at 

Steubenville High School who would later be 

charged with her rape. 

The girl began drinking early on in the 

party, and by 10:30pm she was stumbling and 

slurring her words. Rather than taking care of 

her, a group of teenagers ridiculed her intoxicated 

state and even cheered when a Steubenville 

High baseball player dared someone to urinate 

on her for $3. Soon after, she was found 

sprawled on the basement floor, naked and 

unmoving, where Mays was slapping his penis 

against her hip and Richmond was between her 

legs violating her with two fingers. Later, still 

passed out, several members of the football team 

carried her away from the house and placed her 

in the back seat of a Volkswagen Jetta. It was 

on their way to the home of another player that 

Mays exposed the girl’s breasts and penetrated 

her digitally, while his friend recorded it on his 

phone. She managed to regain consciousness at 

a third party, despite still being unable to walk 

and vomiting several times before falling to the 

ground, and was forced to perform oral sex on 

several of the boys. At the end of it all, they 

finally put her to bed. 

“Rape, after all, is a crime of 

power and control more than sex. 

At no point did they believe that 

what they were doing was wrong; 

taking sexual advantage of a girl 

was viewed as a given perk of the 

Big Red lifestyle.” 

This series of events exemplifies the 

disturbing sense of arrogance inherent in the 

Steubenville players’ actions. Rape, after all, is 

a crime of power and control more than sex. At 

no point did they believe that what they were 

doing was wrong; taking sexual advantage of a 

girl was viewed as a given perk of the Big Red 

lifestyle. 

“The entitlement we heard during 

testimony, it didn’t seem like any empathy or 

support for the victim,” states Katie Hanna, the 

statewide director of the Ohio Alliance to End 

Sexual Violence. “To see these things happen 

and to say, ‘I don’t recall; I didn’t think it was a 

bad thing; I just thought this was OK’ [suggests] 

that this was commonplace behaviour.” 

And it was. In a small community where 

‘everybody knows everybody’, the Big Red 

football team holds esteemed social status in a 

stagnating and declining industrial town. But 

this empathic pride over high school athletes 

has somehow developed an almost fanatical 

hold over peoples’ livelihoods. Crowds travel 

for miles on a Friday night to witness a win 

that will make tough times feel more bearable. 

The players are considered heroes. It’s easy to 

see how they are ignorant of the boundaries of 

inappropriate sexual behaviour. 

Rape itself is hardly a modern crime. 

There have been, and will continue to be, 

incidents worldwide that are more remarkable 

than the Steubenville case. But the sheer scale 

of its explosion in media and online—from 

international news coverage to investigations led 

by hacktivist group Anonymous—has stemmed 

from the ensuing cover-up and response to the 

rape trial, which provides an almost satirical 

depiction of contemporary rape culture. 

“The Steubenville story is all too familiar. 

Be responsible for your actions ladies before your 

drunken decisions ruin lives.” 

“Steubenville: guilty. I feel bad for the 

two young guys, Mays and Richmond, they did 

what most people in their situation would have 

done.” 

“So you got drunk at a party and two 

people took advantage of you, that’s not rape 

you’re just a loose drunk slut.” 

18 



“Why don’t we have a Dumb Fucking 

Whore registry? Now that would be justice.” 

“I’m not saying what they did isn’t wrong 

but it’s not rape… it’s the girl’s fault.” 

“One night of behaving like assholes will 

follow them the rest of their lives, they’re going 

to jail and will be registered sex offenders, and 

her life is ruined?” 

invalidates the crime entirely. 

“I don’t think labeling things as rape 

culture will help the problem,” said one of my 

male friends. “It won’t change anything.” 

On the contrary, it does. Rape culture is a 

concept that has long been denied, and calling 

out those who propagate agendas that distort 

the rational discourse of rape is something that 

needs to be done. 

Because it’s not just Steubenville. It 

is happening here, right now, and we are 

responsible for changing it before it strikes 

closer to home. 

In a case where the victim was clearly 

unconscious and being taken advantage of 

sexually, this is a horrifying response from men 

and women alike. Indeed, media has focused on 

the ‘bright futures’ of the convicted players that 

have been ‘tragically dashed’ by the verdict. If 

there was ever any uncertainty that rape culture 

exists, then there is none now. Steubenville 

brought to light the attitudes and opinions that 

are still very much a part of social discourse 

around rape: that the victim is to blame, that 

perpetrators have been lured into the act and 

that a history of promiscuity or intoxication 

Images: Thomas Ondrey, The Plain Dealer (top) Local Leaks (above) 


QUEER IS IN 

THE AIR: 

Cam Peter- Female Queer Officer 

How Queer opression is more than the fight for 

marriage equality 

Recognition of love and long-term monogamous unions is something for 

everyone to feel passionate about. While marriage equality is often seen 

as the pinnacle of Queer people’s oppression, it is not the only measure. 

Widespread homelessness of our youth, suicide rates, bullying and 

harassment and subsequent mental health issues should also inform the 

discourse. These are far more difficult problems 

to solve; they are structural and lack the leftist 

self-gratification that support for marriage 

equality provides. 

Feeling Queer and Blue, a literature review 

commissioned by Beyond Blue and completed by 

ARCHS in late 2008, identifies higher rates of 

mental health issues, victimisation, homelessness, 

alcohol and substance abuse issues as well as 

engaging in suicidal behaviour or non-suicidal 

self-harm among queer identifying young people. 

LGB youth are two to tree times more likely to attempt suicide and the 

rates are much higher for trans* identified individuals. Out of the 19,000 

youth who are homeless on any given night, over 25% of them are queer 

identified. 

These statistics do not exist in a vacuum; they reflect the difficulty 

of negotiating a world not built for young queer people. A world rendered 

from heteronormative assumptions and built on the foundations of a 

history riddled with queerphobic violence and oppression. We are kicked 

out of home when we come out to our families, we are harassed on the 

“We are kicked out of home 

when we come out to our families, 

we are harassed on the street 

for holding hands and we have 

our gender policed in bathrooms. 

We grow up without positive role 

models and our identities are 

fetishized and normalised for mass 

consumption .” 

street for holding hands and we have our gender policed in bathrooms. 

We grow up without positive role models and our identities are 

fetishized and normalised for mass consumption . 

This is why the MSA Queer Department exists, and this is why it 

needs to continue to exist even if one day ‘gay’ people have the rights 

to marry their partners, even if you have queer 

friends who you accept and even if you, as 

a queer person, have not experienced what 

I described above. Oppression is not always 

overt and identifiable – it’s insidious, it creeps 

into everyday language, assumptions about 

sexuality and gender and ignorance of the 

privilege that is carried as white, cisgender, 

middle-class or non-queer identified people. 

The department exists to combat these 

problems, albeit, within its severely limited, 

overworked, underfunded capacity. We provide a community, a voice 

and support system – all aspects that are lacking from many queer 

young people’s lives. Indeed, As Feeling Queer and Blue outlines, 

rejection from family or friends in regards to disclosure of sexuality 

and/or gender and a lacking of traditional support networks for young 

queer people which creates the environment in which many of these 

issues begin. As is outlined in Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell: the need for 

documenting links between sexuality and suicidal behaviour among 

young people concerning statistics do not stem from “the nature of 


STUDENT AFFAIRS 

their sexual or gender diversity” but from the “experience of living 

in a world that pathologises sexual expression and consequently 

marginalises them through all the institutions that are important in 

the lives of young people.” 

These statistics and the reality of working in a community 

organising role aimed at catering to the needs of queer youth 

highlights the necessity of maintaining services and spaces that 

advocate and support them. Studies show that “social support from 

peers, friends and family” as well “community support” can both 

provide “robust protective factor against depressive symptoms”, 

especially in the case of queer identified youth whose normal 

support system are often ruptured or impaired due to homophobic or 

unwelcome responses to ‘coming out’. The Queer Department, the 

two Queer Officers who run the department and the autonomous 

lounge that we maintain, are all integral to the small, but important 

network we provide.I have been involved in the department for 

nearly five years, and in that period I have experienced and seen 

my closest friends experience the caustic lows and euphoric highs 

that characterises the transition from fresh-faced jaffy to cynical 

undergrad. I have seen the social benefit that a community of queer 

identified people can provide a rural teenager who has just come out 

to themselves for the first time. Or the way the Queer Department, 

through advocacy and support, has provided a flimsy barrier between 

an individual considering suicide, or an alternative. The benefits 

are also practical, with many students who use the space finding 

housemates or housing within the community, and through on and 

off-campus activism we fight and organise around an ideal of a kinder 

world. 

The Queer Department is an imperfect buffer on an imperfect 

timeline of queer activism; it has been afflicted by its own political 

divisions and internal hiccups. It does not claim to be the solution to 

all problems, but it is a helping hand. Just like we should not look to 

marriage equality as the zenith of political redemption – we need to 

understand the ongoing realities and difficulties queer youth face, and 

the difficulties we face in helping them. 

Cam Peter is Female Queer Officer for the Monash Student 

Association. They can be contacted through msa-queer@monash. 

edu or on 9905 0554. Queer week is taking place in Week 7 (22nd- 

26th) of April and includes workshops, social events and activist 

campaigns – topped off with the infamous Queer Ball on Friday, the 

26th of April at Sir John’s Bar. For a full list of events, check out 

our facebook page at http://www.facebook.com/MSAQu 

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WHY ISRAEL HAS NO 

RIGHT TO EXIST 

POSTCARDS FROM INDIA 

Beverly Goh with Stephanie Tenanzas 

“It doesn’t matter where, just go.” It’s advice we’ve all heard before from 

friends who have been on exchange. They come back starry-eyed, glowing 

and with a tonne of stories to tell. AIESEC (translated from French to the 

International Association fo Students in Economic and Commercial Sciencs) 

have a heap of different exchange options to choose from, however 

they also do things a little differently. A wholly youth-run organization, 

the exchanges are based on social issues which directly impact the community 

that you find yourself in. This is just one of many stories. 

Stephanie Tenanzas, Exchange Participant with AIESEC Summer 

2012-2013. Location: India, Hyderabad. 

Whenever I think about the time I spent in India during my AIESEC 

exchange experience, it never fails to amaze me how much I changed 

within those 9 weeks. I remember quite vividly the fear and anxiety I felt 

at the beginning and I can’t help but silently chuckle at my apprehension. 

Little did I know then that I would fall so deeply in love with the sights, 

smells and sounds of India that I would extend my stay for a further 3 

weeks and cry my heart out the day I left. 

I was involved in a project on human trafficking called ‘Not for Sale’ 

with AIESEC Hyderabad. My task was to visit schools to raise awareness. 

For me, it was the first time speaking in front of a huge crowd on such 

an important issue and I was very nervous. When it was over, the people 

involved in the project as well as the school kids gave me feedback. They 

were very sweet and even though some of them were very young they 

thanked me for coming. 

Part of my exchange was also done in office with a non-government 

organisation called ‘Yashoda Foundation’ which focused on health, 

livelihood and education for vulnerable kids with uncertain futures in 

Indian in rural communities. While a lot of the work was office based, 

it was an intimate and friendly working culture. Lunch, for example, was 

for sharing food and stories. Corporate men would sit together and share 

the food that their wives had prepared for them that day. Needless to say, 

I sampled all the authentic Indian and got to know the locals a lot better. 

While the work I was doing was fun and fulfilling, there were also 

moments I encountered extreme culture shock. The night I landed in 

India, I nearly cried, simply because I didn’t know what to expect. The 

gender divide is also still prevalent in India and the fact that I wasn’t as 

covered as most women on the streets, I attracted a lot of attention from 

men. However I was surprised at the night culture; it was literally ladies 

night every night and I had one of the best New Year’s celebrations of my 

life in Goa, on a beach with all the people I had met on the exchange and 

the committee members of AIESEC Hyderabad who had become friends 

along the way. 

When people say, “there’s no place like India”, they aren’t kidding 

– having experienced the beauty, madness, calm and chaos of it all first 

hand, I can say without a shred of doubt in my mind that nothing can ever 

truly prepare you for the avalanche of adventures and enlightenment that 

awaits you there. 

From getting the opportunity to travel the country with my cointerns 

and turning an empty apartment into a cosy home, shared by 

people from different pockets of the world, to meeting the most kindhearted 

Indian families and being welcomed into their humble homes, 

to being able to work for a cause that I’m truly passionate about; and 

seeing change happen before my eyes, my AIESEC experience in India 

has taught me that life really does begin at the end of your comfort zone, 

and learning to overcome the unfamiliar by taking bold risks might well 

just be the most valuable life lesson I’ve taken back home and continue to 

practice to this day. Becoming an AIESEC exchange participant was the 

best decision I ever made because it has introduced me to the world – and 

if I were given the opportunity to go on exchange again, I would, without 

an inch of hesitation. 

AIESEC Monash has now opened applications for their Volunteer 

exchange projects for Winter 20-13. Visit their website www. 

aiesecmonash.org or facebook page facebook.com/aiesecmonashpage 

to find out more about the opportunities available and the application 

process. 



Ben Knight - Education Academic Affairs Officer 

The infamous ‘all-nighter’ is something undeniably entrenched within 

university culture. Embraced by some and feared by others, it does raise 

numerous questions about student life in the current era. 

Numerous libraries within Australia – and overseas – have seen 

24-hour library access come into fruition. But is this unhealthy? Should 

universities provide students with unrestricted access to study spaces? 

Many senior administrators argue against providing all-night 

access, suggesting students shouldn’t be studying late at night to ensure 

an adequate amount of sleep. However, as legitimate as these concerns 

are, the University shouldn’t have its priorities set on regulating the 

behavior of students. 

Do those calling the shots understand how students actually study? 

Do they understand the current pressures and responsibilities we have? 

There is greater pressure for us to take on part-time work on top of our 

university studies, and there are even more expectations put upon us 

that are required for students to achieve that ‘dream job’. To cope with 

the cutthroat corporate environment, graduates’ CVs are expected to 

be full of extra-curricular activities, which require students to volunteer 

large portions of their time during their degree. Again, this pressures 

students to shift their priorities and re-allocate their already scarce 

time. Therefore, if an aim of Monash is to achieve higher employability 

rankings, and a higher quality of education, services that assist with the 

overall learning environment should be implemented. 

Leaving the debate of the importance of 24-hour libraries aside, in 

terms of feasibility exclusive 24-hour study zones on campus to specific 

faculties and programs already exist. Thus we can only assume it cannot 

be impossible to open libraries for an extra eight hours. 

Universities overseas have implemented trials to assess whether 

overnight libraries are a viable service. Recently, Leeds, Kings and 

Reading Universities have all shown to understand the growing 

demand – which is shown in Australia as well, with 24-hour programs at 

institutions such as the University of Melbourne, Swinburne University, 

Murdoch University, and the University of Tasmania to name a small 

few. 

Many students have shown interest and support for a 24-hour 

library service. Monash libraries undertake surveys every two years, and 

24-hour access is a constant trend – with students giving this a ranking 

of 6.25 out of 7 in terms of importance in the last survey. Similarly, on 

the Facebook page ‘Monash Stalkerspace’, there was a large discussion 

around this issue. An overwhelming majority of the students engaged 

in the discussion supported the 24-hour service. Moreover, a survey 

released by the MSA a little over a month ago showed that 90% of 

respondents considered an overnight program to be a significantly 

important issue. 

Considering the level of student support, the university should 

heavily consider the proposal. This is even more appropriate bearing 

in mind students are even more connected to the university services, 

now paying a Student Services and Amenities Fee (SSAF) of just under 

$300. With the University receiving a significant proportion of this, 

shouldn’t students expect to expand services as a result? 

The MSA has been running a campaign to seek longer library 

hours for two fortnightly periods throughout the year – SWOTVAC, 

and the first week of exams. This period sees the largest demand for 

study spaces, as well as the highest demand for longer study time. The 

MSA survey shows over a third of student raise their study load from 

6-10 hours a week during semester to more than 25 hours during exams. 

Furthermore, 98.29% of the 700-odd respondents stated that they would 

utilise a longer service. With this large demand, let us hope Monash 

responds positively and listens to the concerns of students. 


23


MOOC LIFE 

Thomas Wilson 

What if your time at university were for nothing? What if fretting over 

assignments never amounted to much? Stop and think: How employable 

will you be after the three or more years? If you are planning on 

becoming an engineer or IT specialist, then yes, perhaps there is a strong 

demand out there. That Arts degree? Not so much. Even a Law degree 

doesn’t guarantee work straight out of university these days. Employability 

goes far beyond a degree, and if that’s all you have then it isn’t 

enough. What we understand of education and work is evolving, and the 

discerning student is advised to be adaptable. 

Universities date back far beyond institutes such as Oxford, but it 

was this English model that paved the way for modern establishments. 

What began as exclusive clubs for the rich and privileged have become 

more and more open to the masses. Today the focus is on an extended 

pedagogy. Going to university immediately after finishing secondary 

school is expected. Adults will hop between careers numerous times 

throughout their working lives, and colleges account for these mature 

age students. Learning is for life. Despite this demographic and ideological 

shift the university remains a revered, hallowed place. 

How long will this last though? It exceedingly appears—like with 

the rest of culture before—that the sandstone halls may soon be ground 

to dust under the indomitable advance of technology. 

Online learning has long been available, but will become much 

more integral to uni life. The sudden boom in MOOCs (Massive Open 

Online Courses) will see the pendulum swing entirely that way. As The 

Economist puts it, “...online provision is transforming higher education, 

giving the best universities a chance to widen their catch, opening new 

opportunities for the agile, and threatening doom for the laggard and 

mediocre.” Boundaries break down, and more people have access to 

better tools. Start-ups include Udacity, Coursera, and edX, and you can 

sign up to them right now (There’s even an Australian option called 

Open2Study). This is all potentially good for the budding scholar, but 

what does it mean for campuses? 

For the top, not a lot. There is no denying that there won’t be a 

shake-up, but the best have a pedigree, and it is hard to qualify an online 

degree. Mid-tier universities will have to specialise, and have an online 

campus in conjunction with the physical one. It could go the way of 

the publishing industry, with an amalgamation of large bodies and a 

proliferation of specialised providers. Like with any industry, once supply 

reaches a critical peak, demand and income become bottle-necked. For 

the liberal-leaning education system this will cause issues. 

The case for earning your degree is less and less compelling simply 

because everybody has one. Unless it’s for medicine, engineering, or IT, 

wasting time and money at university is an increasingly futile project 

when your future prospects are grim. Has anyone ever told you to do a 

‘real’ degree? It probably came from a thirty year old earning a six-figure 

paycheck who’s sick of paying for your worthless education. Your 

parents may tell you to follow your dreams, but when you’re leaning on 

the system only to fall down the rabbit hole it’s perhaps time to do a 

Business major. If you’re a “P’s get degrees” vagrant, then may the dean 

have mercy on your soul. 

That said the world should not revolve around job prospects and 

practicality. There is a difference between working for happiness (short 

term) and for meaning (long term). Were work merely for productivity, 

governments would allot educational pathways to its young citizens 

rather than have the hassle of freedom of choice. Actually, that could 

be a great system. Show a penchant for mathematics and an interest in 

Lego at a young age, and you’re an engineer for life. Good bye existential 

crisis, hello smooth groove of infinity. Of course, no government in 

their right mind would assign the role of, say, film director or food 

stylist, let alone journalist (unless it was Propaganda Minister). That is 

why we have so many universities offering a massive range of learning 

opportunities. 

But work is changing. The graduate of today should look forward 

to internships, contracts and multiple part-time undertakings. And 

the liberating thought is that it won’t revert back to the good old days. 

Perhaps we will subsist on a civilian wage as our AI accomplices perform 

the mundane tasks. In a post-work, post-scarcity civilization, will we 

become bored as the days drag by, or will humanity reach another era 

of enlightenment and innovation? Wherever we end up, diplomas and 

degrees are sure to be laughable relics. 

In the here and now though, experience is everything. Get out 

there and find part-time work at McDonald’s. Buy a camera and get off 

Instagram. Travel the world (preferably not the Western one). Youth occurs 

once, and an empty savings account means you’re making the most 

of it. And if you want to study Creative Writing, well, it’s your life. 



MSA OFFICE BEARER REPORTS 

President: Freya Logan 

Hello everyone! 

I hope everyone has had a relaxing break, 

and at least took some time off study to do 

something fun. 

With the recent 2.8 billion dollar cuts 

to education it is more important than ever 

to support us in supporting your education. 

I am disappointed with the lack of policy 

discussion around higher education in the lead 

up to the federal election. Higher education 

should be well funded, well resourced and 

seen as a top priority for the election- If you 

agree with this do not hesitate to come and get 

involved with our education department, now 

is really the time to get active and have your 

voice heard. Check out https://www.facebook. 

com/monashstudentsagainstcuts. 

For more close to home campus issues we 

are continuing to fight for cheaper parking and 

24 hour libraries for you to utilise. I’ve been 

busy meeting with the University on a range of 

different issues to aid in making you education 

and services better. 

Hope to see you around the campus, and 

don’t forget to get involved! 

Treasurer: Samantha Towler 

Welcome back everyone! With the break 

over and classes back in session, I can imagine 

people are incredibly busy – believe me I know 

the feeling. Over the past few weeks, I’ve 

mainly been working towards ensuring MSA 

programs and processes are getting going and 

running smoothly. Day-to-day this means me 

doing a lot of paperwork and a lot of signings. 

More interestingly, this means helping 

departments coordinate MSA Tuesdays, which 

gives students a chance to touch base with the 

MSA and hear directly from out departments 

on a weekly basis. There’s also been a lot of 

early mornings preparing for MSA Breakfast 

club which gives students the opportunity to 

grab a free breakfast on their way to class on 

Wednesday mornings. As usual for me, there’s 

a lot to organize, but for you guys there’s a lot 

to look forward to! 

Secretary: Ben Zocco 

Hi everyone! Just as you are no doubt getting 

to crunch time with assessments and other uni 

work, the MSA is busy lobbying the University 

on a number of fronts to increase the quality 

of your education. I have been assisting our 

Education department in campaigning for 24 

hour library opening hours during the crucial 

SWOTVAC and examination period, as well 

as meeting with University representatives to 

discuss the installation of mobile charging stations 

for students on campus. 

I have also been focused on administering 

the second MSA by-election for the year, 

scheduled for April 24th. Much of my time 

has been spent on the day-to-day administration 

of the MSA, in conjunction with the rest 

of the Executive. As always, if you have any 

questions about the MSA, please feel free to 

contact me! 

Education (Academic Affairs): Ben Knight 

Howdy-ho! I hope you enjoyed your break and 

are back into study. With a large number of 

first round assessments nearly all due within 

the last two weeks you should be breathing a 

sigh of relief. Don’t forget, if you’re ever stressing, 

come to Student Rights in the MSA (1st 

floor campus centre) and have a chat about 

services the University provides. 

We’re finalizing the 24-hour library 

campaign and will be submitting the proposal 

soon! To make sure your voice is listened 

to, complete the petition at hour-libraries” 

www.tinyurl.com/24-hour-libraries. The more 

support we have, the greater chance this will 

come into fruition. 

I’m also working on more scholarships 

for students – with about ten more approved, 

the MSA hopes to provide as many students as 

possible with the same opportunities regardless 

of their background and circumstances. 

If you ever have any concerns, e-mail me at 

ben.knight@monash.edu. 

Education (Public Affairs): 

Sarah Christie & John Jordan 

Greetings, readers! EdPub has been busy busy 

busy! Firstly, the parking campaign “Back Up 

On Parking Fees” was a huge success with over 

1000 signatures being collected in support of 

cheaper parking permits at Monash. Ongoing 

negotiations with the University, including 

the potential introduction of a monthly 

payment scheme, are in the works. Secondly, 

the National Day of Action was inspiring. 

The march went well, with many amazing 

speakers. Thirdly, the Student Representative 

Network started in Week 5 with around 20 

students engaging with the program and 

showing interest in becoming active in student 

representation and advocacy. 

Events coming up are the 24 hour library 

campaign run with EdAc, the Federal Election 

Policy Debate, the snap action against the 

Higher Education funding cuts, and the 

National Day of Action against those cuts. For 

LOT’S WIFE EDITION LOT’S WIFE 3 • 2013 EDITION 3 • 2013 25


MSA OFFICE BEARER REPORTS 

information on how you can get involved in 

these efforts, email 

msa-education@monash.edu 

Environment & Social Justice: 

Rory Knight & Tamara Vekich 

Newsflash! The cuts have come again to 

“public” tertiary education: sick of handing 

your power to people who aren’t fighting for 

what you really want? Don’t submit to the 

authoritarian regime. Fight for a free university 

and a world where oppression is no longer 

the norm. We’ll be discussing our alternatives 

at Edufactory in Sydney over the ANZAC 

weekend. 

Twenty seven people are on a hunger 

strike in Broadmedows detention centre. These 

people are in indefinite detention! Racism has 

stripped these people of their human rights. 

Their bodies are their last modes of protest 

against this oppression. Show your solidarity for 

the struggles of these people. Join the Protests - 

contact MRAC for more info. 

Plans to push for divestment from 

carbon intensive industry are coming - stop 

burning our homes now! On a positive 

side note Utopian ideas of transition 

towns are always a possiblility. Inclusive 

of people thinking globally and locally, 

this offers community ideals to all. The 

ESJ Collective is brainstorming for the 

launch of a “transition Monash” project, we 

welcome your input. The ends don’t justify 

the means, fight to end oppression here 

and now! Check out www.facebook.com/ 

MSAEnvironmentAndSocialJusticeCollective 

Male Queer: Asher Cameron 

Well, since my last report things got all 

mixed around!! Our mental health events 

were moved to the University’s Diversity and 

Inclusion Week which also saw our combined 

movie night with MRS. Our main focus for 

inclusion was the Ally inclusive morning tea 

at Wholefoods. The regular events have been 

running smoothly. Collective meetings have 

been continuing strong with many students 

turning up to have input into how the Queer 

Department is run. 

This edition hits the street in week 7, 

which means that it’s QUEER WEEK!!! Our 

big focus each semester, it’s JAM PACKED 

with events for queer students (and allies too!). 

To kick the week off we’ve got a fabulous queer 

picnic and Coming Out By Candlelight on 

Monday. On Tuesday we launch our photo 

petition to raise awareness of queer issues for 

the Federal election at the weekly MSA BBQ, 

and follow it up with fun queer trivia (and 

punch!). Wednesday heats up with a sex and 

gender diversity panel featuring awesome guest 

speakers including Sally Goldner! That night 

we let our hair down with some Queeraoke 

(queer-karaoke) at Sir John’s Bar! Thursday is 

ANZAC day (a University recognised holiday) 

so we’re letting you off the hook to rest, or... 

you could always start preparing for... 

QUEER BALL - NAUTICAL!! Friday 

26/4, Sir John’s Bar, 7:30pm, $15 MSA / $20 

NON-MSA 

Female Queer: Cam Peter 

The Queer Department is gearing up for Queer 

Week, which runs from the 22nd-26th of April. 

We’re running the Queer picnic, Coming out 

by Candlelight, Queer Karaoke, Queer trivia 

as well as a Gender Diversity Q and A panel. 

The week concludes with the infamous Queer 

Ball, so get down and dragged up for a night 

of deep-sea debauchery. The week is a great 

opportunity for education and engagement 

with queer diversity and politics, and to get 

involved within a community and have fun. 

For a full list of events, check out http://www. 

facebook.com/MSAQu 

Welfare: Alexandra Bryant 

Hi everyone, so semester’s coming along 

now, hopefully the assignments aren’t too 

bad. Since my last report some things have 

happened, Survival Week along with Trash 

& Treasure Ball have come and gone, with 

moderate success. Free Food Mondays is still 

also rolling on every Monday, serving occurring 

in Wholefoods at 7:30pm. So if you ever need a 

free dinner come along. 

Next for those want to be master chefs 

out there, the Welfare Department is organising 

a student cookbook of cheap eats. So if 

you have a good recipe that can be made on a 

student budget, send it through to alexandra. 

bryant@monash.edu 

I think the only other thing I need to say 

is thank you to all of the volunteers, without 

which the Welfare Department could not do 

half the stuff it does, so thanks. 

Women’s Department: Adria Castellucci & 

Sally-Anne Jovic 

After the brilliant success that was Sex + Consent 

Week- thanks again to all our volunteers 

and facilitators- the Women’s Department is 

back and ready to go after the Easter break. 

Coming up in week 8 is Blue Stockings 

Week (29th April-3rd May), celebrating and 

raising awareness of women in higher education. 

We’re working alongside the Education 

(Public Affairs) Department to get some great 

events going, and if you want to be part of the 

planning process you can email us or even... 

26 



...join the working group on facebook:www. 

facebook.com/groups/155805944574336/ 

We’re also polishing our Trigger Warning 

proposal to present to the University. 

The MSA Women’s Department is lobbying 

Monash to implement a Trigger Warning 

policy for undergraduate units, to help students 

make more informed decisions about the way 

their study impacts their mental health. We’re 

working on this in response to recommendations 

from the Women’s Affairs Collective 

and general student body regarding sensitive 

content in units. We’re looking for submissions 

and testimonials of students’ experiences 

with emotively triggering content in units to 

strengthen our submission, so if you’ve had an 

incident you think might be relevant, email us 

at msa-womens@monash.edu. 

Remember, the Women’s Room is 

always open for female-identifying students on 

campus! 

Activities: Amy Clyne 

CAMPUS GAMES IS COMING. Get down 

to the free BBQ from Monash Sport to find out 

more. Tuesday of Week 8. 

As well as working on this mega-fun 

week of activities, plans are currently in the 

works for a giant Brazilian Carnival which we 

will be hosting on campus next semester with 

our friends at the Spanish and Latin American 

Club (SLAC). 

If you haven’t seen our awesome art 

installation – the Before I Graduate wall in 

front of Campus Connect – get down there 

quick and add your message to the thousands 

of other plans students have been sharing over 

the past few weeks. 

Oh, and free yoga classes continue at 

Wholefoods. Everyday from 5:30pm. 

To get involved in these activities and 

more, please contact amy.clyne@monash.edu 

Monash University International 

Students Service (MUISS) 

We represent you. We stand up for you. We 

are you! 

MUISS represents all international 

students who study at Clayton campus. We are 

also responsible for promoting cross cultural 

awareness as well as understanding between 

international and local students. 

The Chocolate making and Egg hunt 

events were held by MUISS and the MSA to 

help international students meet other local 

students in Monash. We have hosted a few 

Free BBQs so far to show international students 

Australian lifestyles. Since last year, we 

have hosted Free Breakfast every Monday from 

9am to 11am in MUISS lounge. 

The gaming night, an event in week 7, is 

specifically offered to international students, so 

they can get to know and help each other in 

their studies or campus life. We also celebrate 

cultural diversity by holding MUISS Week in 

week 8 encouraging international students and 

local students to meet. In MUISS Week, we 

will hold Free BBQ on Monday, movie night 

on Tuesday, food tasting on Wednesday, free 

breakfast on Thursday, and trivia night on 

Friday. 

Coming over to the MUISS lounge 

in the 1st floor of the campus centre beside 

Monash Radio and Sir John Monash Bar, or 

you can join us at Facebook at www.facebook. 

com/MUISS.Monash 

Mature Age and Part-time Students 

Divison (MAPS) 

We have welcomed a lot of new students to the 

MAPS lounge this year we haven’t forgotten 

out existing members. As always the lounge is 

a sanctuary for many older students where they 

can get a break from the hustle and bustle of 

campus life. 

So far this semester we have held our 

welcome lunch which was done on the same 

day as our General Meeting for Semester 1. It 

was well attended and was an opportunity for 

the members to find out what was happening 

during the semester, make suggestions and contribute 

to the overall running of the division. 

A major concern that was brought to the 

attention of the committee was the potential 

cutting of the school holiday program. We are 

happy to advise that we’ve spoken to those in 

charge of the program and it looks like it will 

be back for the winter school holidays. We will 

be kept informed of future developments and 

will pass that onto the members. 

During week 5 we ran the BBQ on MSA 

Tuesday and also had a wine and cheese event 

on the Thursday afternoon which from all 

accounts went very well. Our next major event 

will be the Biggest Morning Tea where we 

try and raise funds for the Cancer Council so 

watch this space for more information and join 

us in supporting a very worthy cause. 

Clubs & Societies 

There has been a lot of work going on in C&S 

these last few weeks, work which allows all the 

clubs we oversee (and the ones you love) to 

function! 

Our executive has been madly going 

through club registration packs to ensure all 

clubs are set for the New Year; this includes 

C&S keeping a copy of club membership lists, 

and a record of who their executive members 

are. This has been made all the easier with the 

new membership database which all students 

can access to easily join clubs (including you, 

dear reader). 

Our three auditors have been doing a 

marvellous job in churning through the audit 

submissions and re-submissions, to ensure 

all financial procedures are being adhered 

to. Furthermore, our two staff members have 

been doing so much work each week that I am 

starting to question whether they have cloned 

themselves and are in fact in multiple places 

at once. 

If you ever have questions about clubs 

on campus, C&S itself, or the army of gnomes 

hiding in our office, feel free to see us at our 

office in the campus centre, or email me 

at: president@monashclubs.org 

process, as well as ensuring all club 

members are adhering to the guidelines 

for appropriate behaviour outlined in their 

constitution, and in our own. 

Our office is located on the top floor of 

the campus centre, and is open for anyone (be 

they a club member or not) to come in and 

have a chat about any club-related activity. 

Feel free to drop by and learn about the most 

exciting part of life at Monash University! 


27

SCIENCE 

TO VACCINATE 

OR NOT 

TO VACCINATE? 

Catiray Poiani-Cordella 

Oh Melbourne, Thank you for finally giving me cold weather, so I can 

put on my scarf, beanie and gloves and get some reprieve from the 

Saharan like Australian sun. But now that winter is coming, so is the 

chance you’ll see more of tissues, paracetamol and cough lollies. It’s now 

time to ask: “should I get a flu vaccine?” 

Protecting yourself from the flu isn’t one of those topics that 

commonly come up in conversation. Really, can you see yourself walking 

up to somebody in a club and saying, “Hey, you know that flu vaccine? 

It’s pretty good, yeah!’” But really, it should be something we talk 

about. We start to feel run down, especially with looming assignment 

deadlines and this begins to compromise our immune systems. But what 

is the difference between the common cold and the flu? And is it really 

necessary to get vaccinated? 

The common cold is usually characterised by a runny nose, sore 

throat and slight fatigue. But, the flu (Influenza) has a more severe 

symptomology. Sufferers experience fluctuations in body temperature, 

mild nausea, vomiting, extreme exhaustion, headaches, muscle aches 

and a sore throat. Often these symptoms can last for 4-5 days and it can 

be difficult to get back into a normal routine following a bout of the 

infection. 

Spread by small droplets via the nose, throat or mouth (a 

consequence of making out on the dance floor!) the flu virus is easily 

transferrable and highly contagious. Symptoms often arise within 48 

hours of contraction and and the severity of symptoms may vary across 

people. A person is contagious one day before symptoms arise and three 

to seven days after symptoms begin. 

The vaccine works by triggering the body to produce its own 

antibodies against three different strains of influenza. Each year, new 

strands emerge so the vaccine’s composition must be changed in order to 

best defend the body against the virus. Often the National Health and 

Medical Research Council advise people in risk categories (the elderly, 

people with chronic cardiac disorders and low immunity and people 

working in health professions who may be in contact with sick people) 

to get the Influvax vaccine; however people who do not fit in these 

categories can also benefit from the vaccine, as it reduces the possibility 

of catching it. Protection against infection begins about 2-3 weeks after 

vaccination, and will last about 6-12 months. 

If you want to keep partying hard all through semester and during 

semester break with no issues contact your local doctor, pharmacist 

or go to the doctors on campus. You will need to attend a free doctors 

appointment, where they will see if you’re eligible to get vaccinated 

and then you’ll need to book a nurses appointment for the vaccination 

which costs $19. A small price to pay to avoid the onslaught of the flu. 

Clayton Monash Medical Centre 

Campus centre (next to STA) 

Ph: 9905 3175 

28 


SCIENCE 

FATALISTIC 

OPTIMISM: 

How do you score? 

Katerina Dandanis 

It is a twisted reality when years of positivity could actually mean a 

greater dissatisfaction in life. One study*, one huge implication… 

Data from the German Socio-Economic Panel (SOEP) over an 11 

year period was utilised to determine how an individual’s anticipation 

of their life satisfaction may affect their choices and adaptations to 

adversity. Participants were questioned annually about their current 

and expected life satisfaction five years down the track. Age was found 

to be a key factor in levels of optimism; the younger participants were 

very optimistic, while seniors were more pessimistic. However, the study 

found an association between underestimating life satisfaction and 

positive health outcomes; older adults are apparently rewarded for their 

pessimism in the long run. 

French novelist Anatole France once wrote, “I prefer the folly of 

enthusiasm to the indifference of wisdom”, suggesting that enthusiasm 

and optimism are preferable to realism. Both positive approaches to 

negative situations allow us to feel calm, motivated and empowered. Yet 

paradoxically there is ambiguity in what is foolish positivity or solemnity. 

Where does this fine line exist and how does one strike a balance? 

To find this balance, let’s produce a scale from one to ten. Assume 

a score of zero represents a sombre person who is brutally realistic about 

life and their capabilities. Adults are good examples since they are 

expected to be serious and mature (other with many other uninspiring 

adjectives). Due to these expectations, dreadfully low scores are often 

produced: zero, one, two, maybe three… if you are lucky. 

On the other end of the scale are the loud, almost crazily happy 

people, blissfully ignorant to the very notion of pessimism. Children are 

a perfect example. 

You would think that the more optimistic individuals would be 

happier in their lives. Alas, apparently they are self-sabotaging one smile 

at a time. As the study suggests, more optimistic people tend to achieve 

less. In fact, the life satisfaction study observed an association between 

being overly optimistic and greater risks of mortality and disability in 

the ten years after the test was taken. Meanwhile, the more pessimistic 

participants are, subconsciously, more satisfied. 

What do we make of this seemingly nonsensical trend? The study 

showed that balance is found by ‘expecting less, appreciating more’. 

The optimistic mindset does not necessarily prepare individuals for 

the obstacles of life. Indeed, lowering life expectations is in fact not as 

denigrating a suggestion as it initially seems. It encourages us to step 

back from the rush of life, take a breath and clear our perspectives. 

Expecting less allows for fewer disappointments and more pleasant 

surprises. But let’s keep the kids fooled a bit longer! 

*The study discussed in this article is ‘Forecasting Life Satisfaction Across 

Adulthood: Benefits of Seeing a Dark Future?’ Psychology and Aging (2013) 

Volume 28, Issue 1, pages 249-261. 


SCIENCE 

SCIENCE LESSONS FROM… 

POKÉMON 

Nicola McCaskill 

Controversial topic though it may be, it’s 

essentially a universally acknowledged 

scientific fact that if a species is to be the very 

best, like no one ever was, they need to be able 

to evolve. 

The process of evolution is most 

simply described as the change in inherited 

characteristics in a population over successive 

generations. This can apply to entire species, 

individual plants or animals, and molecules 

such as DNA. 

All life on Earth evolved from a universal 

ancestor billions of years ago. A number of 

different mechanisms such as natural selection, 

migration, and the frequency of certain 

mutations are constantly in play, resulting in 

outcomes including adaptation, speciation (one 

species diverging into two or more separate 

species) and extinction. 

While we now have a fairly solid base 

understanding of how life on Earth evolved, up 

until recently the same could not be said for 

the many inhabitants of the Pokémon universe. 

A group of scientists from the University 

of California published a paper entitled “A 

Phylogeny and Evolutionary History of the 

Pokémon” in the Annals of Improbable 

Research journal late last year. In it, they 

map out a phylogenic tree demonstrating the 

evolutionary development of 646 Pokémon. 

The group identified a need for documenting 

the evolution of Pokémon, citing small 

populations (some species being known 

only from a single specimen), and threat of 

extinction from “Pokémon fighting rings that 

are growing rapidly in popularity, particularly 

among urban youth”. 

A phylogenic tree is a branched diagram 

that looks similar to a family tree, showing 

where and when different species diverged 

from one another. The tree generated by the 

group’s data suggests that, like life on Earth, 

all Pokémon life began in the water, with 

species similar to lampreys and bony fish. They 

hypothesise that terrestrial life arose on three 

independent occasions, giving rise to Ice types 

(starting with the Dewgong); Flying types 

(starting with the Pelipper); and Normal 

types. They found that Psychic types 

diverged from the birds, starting with Xatu, 

and gradually lost the ability to fly; and 

Grass, Fire and Electric types arose from the 

Normal types. 

The paper explained some 

complicating factors for any research into 

Pokémon diversity, including the misuse of 

the term ‘evolution’ (this would normally 

be termed ‘metamorphosis’), the occasional 

definition of males and females as two 

different species (for example, Nidoqueen and 

Nidoking), and the ability of many Pokémon 

to breed between species without resulting 

in a hybrid – not to mention that “how a 

400-kilogram Wailord is able to mate with an 

11-kilogram Skitty at all remains a mystery”. 

Since the paper’s publication, the group’s 

research has been used by biology teachers 

to introduce the concepts of evolution and 

phylogeny to their students, and disputed 

by other scientists who have come up with 

alternative theories. One thing remains 

certain, though: we must continue to research 

each Pokémon to understand the power that’s 

inside. 

You can read the original article and see the 

Pokémon phylogenic tree at http://www. 

neatorama.com/2012/11/27/A-Phylogeny-and- 

Evolutionary-History-of-the-Pokemon/ 


MUSIC 

ERIC WHITACRE 

IN CONCERT 

Leah Phillips 

On first appearance, Eric Whitacre looks like a Hollywood A-lister with 

glistening long blond locks, a chiselled jaw and suave demeanour. He’s 

a celebrity, with a rock star like following but not in the way you might 

imagine. In fact, he is a Grammy award-winning composer, famous in 

the realms of the classical and choral music. 

The American composer studied at the legendary Julliard School of 

Music in New York, where he met his future wife, soprano Hila Plitmann. 

The couple and their son now reside in London, where Whitacre is 

currently Composer in Residence at Sidney Sussex College, Cambridge 

University. 

His pieces have quickly become core material for many choirs 

around the world. Indeed, I have sung a few of his compositions in a 

chamber choir at Monash. I found his work challenging but beautiful, 

a pleasure to sing; exploring the beauty of dissonance between notes, 

unusual intervallic leaps in vocal lines and beautiful poetic texts. 

However it was his hugely successful Virtual Choir projects which 

provided the catalyst for his world-wide fame. Since 2010, the Virtual 

Choir have ‘performed’ three times. Through the power of digital media, 

the project links voices from across the globe into one united choral 

force. Growing with each project, the first virtual choir featured 185 

voices from 12 countries; in contrast, the third attracted almost 4,000 

from 73 countries. Singers register individually and then download the 

sheet music for their voice type (soprano, alto, tenor, or bass). After 

learning their part, they then record themselves singing – usually with 

their webcam – while watching a YouTube video of Eric conducting the 

piece (so everyone is singing in time). Each then upload their individual 

videos to YouTube, after which the videos are all layered together as one, 

thus creating the Virtual Choir. It is really quite something to watch 

thousands of singers from across the globe unite as one choir. 

In his first visit to Melbourne, Whitacre In Concert was held at our 

very own Robert Blackwood Hall at Monash on April 13. Featured was 

the Monash Sinfonia and the choir of Trinity College from Melbourne 

University, whose collective focus and round, balanced tone really did 

justice to Whitacre’s vocally demanding songs. While it would have 

been nice to see a choir from Monash’s Sir Zelman Cowan School of 

Music participating, especially since the Monash Sinfonia was included, 

the Trinity College Choir did well. 

The repertoire predominantly featured Whitacre’s compositions, 

but also featured some Bach and a song from Michael Leighton Jones, 

which provided some needed contrast. 

Whitacre entered the stage upon rousing cheers from the audience 

and opened with the piece of the first Virtual Choir, ‘Lux Aurumque’. 

This was followed by an enchanting interpretation of ‘Five Hebrew Love 

Songs’ which was penned by his wife Hila, who was born and raised in 

Jerusalem, to which her husband then set to music. The collection of 

songs featured Monash Co-ordinator of strings Elizabeth Sellars on solo 

violin producing a sweet tone that filled the hall. 

The arrangement of Bach’s ‘Come Sweet Death’ was sung twice 

by Trintiy Choir, first conducted by Whitacre and performed as Bach’s 

original arrangement, then without a conductor. At first I flinched at the 

sight of choir ‘actions’ which involved moving their arms in circular motions 

in front of their bodies. These actions occurred in both renditions 

of the piece, however they were justified as in the second rendition – 

which proceeded without break from the first – they sang at their own 

tempo, the actions aiding them in to stay in time individually. It also 

proved an interesting visual experience for the audience, as an auditory 

jumble of clashing tones and text filled the room. The last few seconds 

were magical, never to be heard again with an array of pitches dwindling 

down into the final note. 

In between each song Whitacre spoke a little about the stories and 

ideas behind each piece, all the while charming his captivated audience 

with his orating skills and intriguing and funny commentary, something 

not always seen at classical or choral concerts. 

The second half of the evening included string arrangements of 

Whitacre pieces with special guest David Berlin, principal cellist of the 

Melbourne Symphony Orchestra, who featured in ‘The River Cam.’ 

By far the most anticipated part of the evening was witnessing the 

legendary ‘Sleep’. It was a nice surprise when the normally a capella song 

was presented with accompaniment from Monash Symphonia. 

The concert was Whitacre’s only Victorian engagement and it 

went off without a hitch. The overall atmosphere within the auditorium 

was that of elation, with Whitacre even sticking around to sign CDs and 

programs and have a chat. It was a landmark occasion having the choral 

composer and conductor at the height of his fame visit Monash, and I’m 

sure the visit will be something to look back on as a historic musical 

moment at the Clayton campus. 


31

MUSIC 

REVIEWS 

JAMES BLAKE 

Overgrown 


James Blake’s second album, Overgrown, 

is possibly the hardest piece 

of music to review. As I ferociously 

slap at my keyboard, with the album 

blaring in the background (most probably sparking more noise complaints 

from my bitchy neighbours), I can’t quite decide whether I like or dislike 

this record. 

The title track, ‘Overgrown’, plunges the listener into the deep end 

of Blake’s ocean of sound. A thick, repetitious bass line gives the otherwise 

melancholy track peculiar warmth while waves of droning keyboard 

riffs and Blake’s unique voice develop into a luscious, climactic end. 

‘I Am Sold’, on the other hand, opens with more subtlety, as layers 

of percussion and humming bass slowly join Blake’s balladry and accompanying 

keyboard, culminating in a dense and ambient track. 

The whole pace of the album takes a sudden turn, as ‘Life Round 

Here’ immediately kicks off with off-beat drums, simple arpeggiated 

piano chords, and a post-dubstep drop that resembles a demonised version 

of the Tetris theme song. The track’s similarity to ‘I Never Learnt To 

Share’ is quite possibly what it so incredible and so very James Blake. 

The following track, ‘Take a Fall for Me’, is where the album falls 

short. While it follows on perfectly from the wickedness of the preceding 

track, the addition of Wu-tang Clan’s RZA makes the whole thing sound 

like an MTV or Channel V hit, and urges one to hit the skip button. 

‘Retrograde’ showcases Blake’s innovative vocal layering, bringing 

the track in with a soft, melodic hum over which he sings. As is common 

in Blake’s music, the song develops into a huge drone of bass, vocals, 

synth and keys, only to collapse into its barest form as the song peaks. 

Sadly, the song is unnoticeable due to its predictability. 

‘DLM’ is much the same: while it features even more vocal layering 

– each differing in melody and pitch – the track does little to engage 

the listener, which is worsened by an unanticipated, unsatisfying and 

anti-climactic ending. 

However, ‘Digital Lion’ emerges as the album’s redemption point. 

It plunges suddenly into a dark and disorienting concoction of noise as 

a tribal snare beat, Blake’s humming, the obligatory slightly modulated 

bass line and unidentifiable noises rumble through to the core of one’s 

soul. 

‘Voyeur’ is the perfect follow up. Industrial sounds combine with 

more of Blake’s distinct vocals, invasive horns and bone-chilling synth 

riffs. The track continues to chop and change, evoking repeated trips to 

the stereo to see if you are still listening to the same one. 

‘To the Last’ perfectly winds everything down to another striking 

exemplar of Blake’s softer, more melodic musical side. 

Similarly, ‘Our Love Comes Back’ begins mysteriously elegant. 

Bass and muffled percussion once again slowly join Blake’s vocals and 

keys. They melt together in a delicious brew of sound, as Blake hums his 

audience into a deep trance. 

Overall, Overgrown is an incoherent album. Songs such as ‘Life 

Round Here’, ‘Digital Lion’, ‘Voyeur’ and ‘I Am Sold’ perfectly capture 

Blake’s talents. 

However, comparing this record to its predecessor is unavoidable 

and is most probably what makes it so disappointing. Blake’s debut 

was a collection of bone-chillingly brilliant tracks with choppy vocals, 

minimalist drumbeats and modulated bass lines capable of causing heart 

palpitations. 

Now it seems Blake has tried to achieve commercial success 

with kitschier tracks like ‘DLM’, ‘Retrogade’ and ‘Take a Fall for Me’, 

upsetting what could have been another spectacular exhibition of Blake’s 

signature sound. 

GALLANTRY, 

A ONE ACT OPERA 

Heidi Lupprian 

Gallantry is a half-hour one act opera composed by Douglas Moore, with 

libretto by Arnold Sundgaard. First performed in 1958 by the music 

students of New York’s Columbia University, four classical voice students 

from Monash performed the opera as part of a series of free lunchtime 

concerts that showcase the talent of the School of Music Conservatorium. 

Walking into the auditorium, the audience was greeted by two performers 

already on stage: Luke Belle as Dr. Gregg and Stephanie Akaoui 

as Nurse Lola, dressed in physicians’ coats, staring down at a medical 

tray. Hidden underneath the sheets in the hospital bed beside them 

was Donald (Ben Glover), and side of stage was the Announcer (Sarah 

Turner). The no-fuss staging of the production gave a strong focus to the 

singers’ vocal abilities and goes to show that strong singers can keep an 

audience intrigued from bar one, without the need for the elaborate sets 

and costumes on which opera sometimes relies. 

Classified as a ‘soap’ opera, Gallantry is almost like watching Days 

of Our Lives, but a little wackier, more fun and with live music. The 

show opens with a satirical advertisement for the soap brand ‘Lochinvar’, 

32 


MUSIC 

making this classification of soap opera even more pertinent. These 

occur intermittently throughout the action. The main conflict centres 

around Dr. Gregg, a physician who is interested in winning the affections 

of Nurse Lola despite the fact that their patient, Donald Hopewell, is 

also Lola’s fiancée. Things begin to get more and more out of hand as Dr. 

Gregg’s true jealousy is made apparent, but it seems that true love can 

still prevail. 

The first Lochinvar soap aria (as I like to call it) was a hilarious 

aside; it was delivered quite prettily and with straight-laced seriousness 

by Sarah Turner. Her voice was very suited to the role, as was the case 

with all the other cast members. Stephanie’s lovely natural tone really 

shone in the beautiful aria towards the end of the piece, in which she 

explains that she cannot and will not be with Dr. Gregg. Ben brought 

out the most characterisation and seemed to have an affinity for comic 

roles, as well as an honest tenor voice. Luke Belle had a professional 

stage presence from the moment he sang his first note. 

I would have liked a little more of the parody of the melodrama 

brought out by the ‘doomed’ couple, Dr. Gregg and Lola, especially in 

the duet about childhood. But considering the short rehearsal time frame 

in which they were working, it’s understandable that the emphasis would 

have been on the music. In addition, it would have been nice to hear 

more vocal power from Ben and Sarah at times, but the auditorium is 

a big space to fill with an unamplified voice, and overall, everyone did 

a fantastic job; this was evident particularly in the difficult four-part 

harmony at the end, with each part entering at different points and quite 

independently of each other and the piano. 

This was a wonderful production, especially considering the singers 

involved are still learning and developing their craft. There was a strong 

sense of professionalism from all involved, and the show was almost note 

perfect. Janet Perkins, the talented pianist, kept the momentum of the 

piece flowing from beginning to end, while conductor, Dobbs Franks, 

was attentive the whole way through. Also special mention to Simon 

Tsang, who stepped in as conductor during rehearsals where Dobbs 

was unavailable. 

As a Monash classical singing student myself, I think the lunchtime 

concerts are such an incredible opportunity for musicians to learn 

more about what it is to be a professional performer and what is required 

to maintain stamina physically and mentally through a show, as well as 

be given the chance to experience real nerves in front of an audience. 

Lunchtime concerts occur every Thursday at 1pm in the Music Auditorium 

and are free for everyone. 

To find out more about the Monash Lunchtime Concert Series, 

and what is coming up in the following weeks, please visit their website: 

http://www.monash.edu/mapa/ 

FLASHBACK: 23 Great Recordings 


We all know what ‘the greatest hits’ or ‘the essential’ albums are like: 

a combination of the most commercially successful hits and Gold 104 

favourites by some artist that you’d usually find pumping from dad’s shed 

as he works on fixing the lawn mower. You know: U2, INXS, Tears For 

Fears and Cold Chisel. That kind of stuff. 

Therefore, I never thought I’d find myself hunched over a keyboard 

the morning after my family’s traditional Easter Monday lunch (of which 

the effects were still present), convincing you to get your mits on a 

greatest hits CD. 

That’s not to say that I’m against commercially successful music. 

I’m a big sucker for Carly Ray Jepsen’s ‘Call Me Maybe’, which is quite 

possibly the most infectious song of all time. 

To get to the point, 23 Great Recordings – a greatest hits CD by 

Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers – is probably the best thing 

I’ve ever stumbled upon. 

Richman has been personally affiliated with Lou Reed and John 

Cale from The Velvet Underground, and even slept on Steve Sesnick’s 

couch in New York. 

Richman’s songs are childlike and outspoken: ‘New Teller’ is an ode 

of love to new local bank clerk; ‘Pablo Picasso’ deals with the struggles of 

trying to pick up girls and ‘It Will Stand’ is an appreciation of what was, 

at the time, contemporary rock music. 

While there is some musical resemblance between The Velvet 

Underground and Richman, like the two/three chord structures of ‘The 

Morning of Our Lives’, ‘Roadrunner’ and ‘I’m Waiting For My Man’, 

Richman is in a league of his own. 

Whether it’s the simplicity of the chord structure in ‘Pablo Picasso’, 

the boyish plea of ‘Important In Your Life’, or the juxtaposition of 

Richman’s slurring lyrics and denial of drugs in ‘I’m Straight’, it’s not 

hard to see the impression that these guys left on punk music. 

The Sex Pistols have covered ‘Roadrunner’, Big D and the Kids 

Table have covered ‘New England’ and Iggy Pop has covered ‘Pablo 

Picasso’. More recently, pop-punk band Nerf Herder wrote a song, ‘Jonathan’, 

about Richman to the tune of ‘Roadrunner’. 

To anyone with a general love for rock music, whether it be new 

or old, psychedelic or blues, punk or prog, Jonathan Richman and The 

Modern Lovers’ 23 Great Recordings is a must-have. Although it is 

technically a ‘best of’, it is the perfect collection of Richman’s best and 

most influential work and will ensure that you don’t end up listening to 

Gold 104 when you’re 40. 


MUSIC 

SUSPECTED GIANTS HIDING BEHIND BOULDERS 

David Nowak 

They’re a band that is surrounded by uncertain attempts to define them. 

Are they psychedelic? Are they genre benders? Are they every genre? 

With a line-up of children’s albums spread between their more mature 

releases, and some distinctly comical songs behind them, they’ve even 

been labelled – harshly, might I add – a novelty band. One reviewer 

remarked that their work resembles “rock nursery rhymes”, so when I 

spoke with one of the two core members of US band They Might Be Giants, 

John Flansburgh, I asked him how he reacts to the band’s critics. 

“Umm, you know, if they like us, we believe it, and if they don’t, 

we think they’re wrong,” he says somewhat dryly. “I think, for better or 

worse, people tend to project a lot into our intention, which is kind of 

curious. I don’t think too much about it, you know. I think the truth of 

the matter is, like, what we’re doing connects with people in a very direct 

way, but it often connects with people in a very contemporary way, which 

is why I think the way in which we incorporate humour in what we’re doing 

is actually quite modern. I think rock’n’roll traditionalists have a very 

hard time with anything that has even the slightest sensibility of humour. 

I think it undermines their rock’n’roll pose. Like, by not demanding to 

be taken seriously, we’re breaking rule number four of musicianal rules of 

rock music. But you know, I think the truth is rock music is very old, and 

it’s very orthodox, and it’s very tired, and it’s not that important anymore 

and it shouldn’t be taken too seriously.” 

I hesitate here; why shouldn’t we read into their intention when so 

much of their material seems to hide something beneath the surface? It’s 

something I’d always grappled with when I listened to them – dark lyrics 

met with upbeat melody. To embellish the point, Flansburgh explains, 

“I’ve spent my entire life listening to Bob Dylan songs, and I have no idea 

what is true or not about his biography and, ultimately, it doesn’t really 

matter that much. I think the point is that if the songs are interesting and 

engaging and make you think and make you want to listen to them again, 

that’s like mission accomplished for a songwriter. I think the whole singersongwriter 

dilemma is that people want to think that there’s some secret 

truth to the song when, in fact, the real truth to the song is right there on 

the surface.” 

So like the band itself, he defies my attempted reading for direction, 

but I still try, asking whether there was any kind of overarching ideas 

or themes in their latest album. “Well, you know, for the last couple of 

records, there’s been conversations about levels of pastiche. Because we’re 

working with musicians who can very accurately do many many specific 

styles of music, like… if we said, ‘Yeah, let’s do this [song] like it’s a 

country song,’ the next question would be like, ‘Should it be like countrypolitan, 

or should it be Memphis, or should it be backwoods or should it 

be bluegrass?’ You know, there’s an incredible focus in terms of what is 

available to us with genre and, consequently, like, I think we’ve decided 

to step back from anything that is that culturally specific… but I think 

that it’s actually really important that we have an original voice… 

“[T]his is a very specific example – and I know that when we talk 

about the Beatles, people don’t know what to think – but the thing that’s 

interesting about Beatles records – especially in the first three years of 

the Beatles, is they would do a lot of different stylistic types of music, like 

go-go music and country music and even more unusual things, but it was 

always kind of 51% the Beatles. It never really sounded like pastiche of 

another style… And I think there is a way to approach arranging a song 

within a genre that still has our fingerprints on it… and that’s the kind 

of thing we’ve evolved to in the past two years. We don’t really want 

people to confuse us for doing anything novelty. That seems to be a good 

strategy for us. And the other thing is, we do a lot of things much more 

simply now. I think, you know, when we started, we were really into 

over-producing our stuff, and on this album there’s some very bare-bones 

arrangements that are just much more exciting because they’re so direct. 

That’s been a big step forward for us.” 

Throughout, Flansburgh seems to deflect labels. Talking about 

band image, I brought up an early remark by the other core member of 

TMBG, John Linnell, that he’d love the band to be seen as a cult band 

one day. “I don’t know what that means! I mean, how do you want to be 

a cult band?” Flansburgh retorts amongst laughs. “You mean, like, people 

wearing matching robes?” It was much the same response when asked 

more directly about image control. It’s strange to say that although I got 

real answers to a lot of my questions, They Might Be Giants still come 

out with their enigmatic air intact, and I with none of the trumps. What 

seems certain, as Flansburgh promises me after their recent children’s 

releases, is that they’re not trying to reinvent themselves as The Wiggles. 

34 


MUSIC 

NOISE FLASH 

Central Lawn, Royal Botanic Gardens, 

Melbourne - April 7 

Leah Phillips 

Walking through the park at peak picnicking time, on the main picnicking 

day of the week, in the middle of school holidays, is not the best idea 

I’ve ever had. Screaming kids, runaway balls, giant inquisitive geese, and 

strange tourists are everywhere. But I’m not here to inflict this torture on 

myself; I’m here to take part in Noise Flash, a small-scale experiment of 

improvised electronic music broadcasting on low-range transmitters to 

the headphone and portable-radio-clad listeners roaming the grassy knoll. 

I arrived a bit early, so I found a shady spot and waited for the 1pm 

start. All sorts of characters turned up for the event; the old, the young, 

the bearded, the tattooed, mothers, hippies and even a few conquering 

the grassed hill on crutches. The growing mass of head-phoned people 

put those who thought Central Lawn made a nice picnic spot on edge, 

especially when observers mistook picnickers for performers, lingering too 

close for comfort from their Mersey Valley and water-thins. 

Once I tuned my portable radio (borrowed from my mum) to the 

108FM frequency, I was ready for 45 minutes of auditory exploration. This 

is what I witnessed. 

1.06 I’m off to a slow start, mainly because I find approaching the 

lone artists uncomfortable, especially in broad daylight as opposed to 

when I’m used to some dingy venue with sticky carpet. I soon get over 

this and walk past a guy patting, shaking and jumping on a long metal 

rope. Once my radio caught his transmission, I see the method to his 

madness. A drone-like buzz was running through the rope, and by touching 

it in various ways he manipulates its sound by breaking the drone’s 

circuit. He even began using two bikes that were perched nearby as 

conductors in his act. 

1.14 A man in a pointed hood cape sings through a PVC pipe 

funnel, manipulating it with three pedals to create a Darth Vader-esque 

sound. 

1.20 A 40-something guy broadcasts screechy electronic melodies 

accompanied by a deep pulsating beat from his MacBook. 

1.24 I move to where a crowd is accumulating. From under an oak 

tree floats a loud pop sound comprised of recorded domestic argument 

samples. 

1.26 Half hidden in a bush is a guy looping short snappy phrases 

from his mini-electric guitar. 

1.27 As I dodge the goose poo on the lawn I hear two young dudes 

sampling audio of people declaring reasons why they chose Christianity. 

1.29 From that, I move to a man perched on a colorful Mexican rug, 

creating buzzy pop from a contraption that looks like a home-made 

version of the board game Operation. 

1.30 I move back across the lawn to listen to the clearest broadcast 

of the afternoon, a cassette-looped, lo-fi soundscape. 

1.32 A guy with a bandanna over his mouth attacks a circuit board 

powered by an AA battery with twists and turns of his nimble fingers. 

1.33 Ethereal sounds from cassette tapes are looped, over and over, 

making slow, undulating, hypnotic music. 

1.36 A lady with a Wii remote and a MacBook manipulates the air. 

1.38 A guy under a tree makes a lush output on his iPad. 

1.39 Hidden to the side of the lawn is a lady blowing on what seems 

like some type of whistle. It sounded like the whistle was constipated and 

really wanted to take a dump. I stayed for a fleeting second, but had to 

move on for fear of laughing in her face. 

1.40 A heavily tattooed guy fiddles around with guitar pedals. 

1.44 With one minute to go, I listen to a guy with the most 

impressive pedal board I’ve seen in a long time. 

After 45 minutes, I’m left with sore and sweaty ears under heavyduty 

headphones and some pesky sunburn on my forehead that will most 

likely turn to freckles. But on a more intellectual level, my eyes are now 

open a little wider to the world of experimental music. 

Apparently a similar event is on the horizon. Stay in the loop and 

like them on Facebook if that’s your thing: www.facebook.com/NoiseFlash 


SUBHEADING 

CLOUD ATLAS 

Catherine Gunst 

Cloud Atlas, originally a book by David Mitchell, has been transformed 

into a masterpiece by co-directors Lana and Andy Wachowski (The 

Matrix), and Tom Tykwer (Run Lola Run). If you‘ve read the book you 

must be wondering how such a multi-dimensional story could possibly be 

translated into film. It is indeed possible. Cloud Atlas is so complicated 

and intricate that had any one element been different, the film may 

have been an enormous flop. But much like a complicated piece of 

machinery, all elements work in harmony to produce a powerful movie 

unlike any other. Tom Hanks described it as “a unique 

one-of-a-kind deep throw far out into the cosmos that 

was gonna have to be a bulls-eye”. And it was, even 

despite the cliché film tag line “Past. Present. Future. 

Everything is connected.” 

Cloud Atlas is a complex tale consisting of 

different stories spanning across six eras. Each story has 

a completely different plotline, mood and style, and yet 

they are all subtly interrelated. Spanning from years 

1850 to 2321, these many subplots include; a fast-moving comedy, an 

extremely dark disturbing dystopia, and a somewhat bizarre un-Earthly 

world, among others. These differences keep the movie highly engaging 

and rewarding. However, they do make for a very confusing first 45 

minutes, and similarly make it difficult to classify the film into a genre. 

It is a romance, a comedy, dystopian; it is fantastic, horrific and epic, all 

at once. 

But what makes this movie so incredible is not the plot 

itself, though that certainly can’t be disregarded. Rather, it is the 

cinematography. Visually, this is an impressive film. Some movies expose 

mistakes and plot-holes upon a second viewing, but this one allows 

you to notice more subtle artistic techniques. Small visual connections 

between scenes, meaningful costume choices, the richness of metaphor 

“Profoundly moving 

and thought-provoking, 

Cloud Atlas will make 

you walk away feeling 

uplifted, inspired, and 

deeply disturbed at the 

same time.” 

and symbolism are all built upon. A second viewing also allows for 

greater appreciation of the sweeping landscape scenes and impressive 

CGI (computer imagery). It is not surprising the film had one of the 

highest budgets of any independent film, totaling $102 million. 

Another important directorial choice was the casting. With Tom 

Hanks, Halle Berry, Jim Broadbent, Hugo Weaving, Jim Sturgess, Doona 

Bae, Hugh Grant, Susan Sarandon and Ben Whishaw, the film clearly 

has an all-star cast. But what is most remarkable is the fact that each 

actor plays several characters across all the different 

subplots. It becomes an enjoyable challenge to pick 

which actor plays each character, especially difficult 

where there is a change in gender or where ethnicityaltering 

makeup has been employed. The makeup, 

which has sparked racial controversy, can sometimes 

seem a bit strange, particularly the eye prosthetics that 

were used on Jim Sturgess and Hugo Weaving in order 

to play Asian characters. I have a feeling that as CGI 

advances, such prosthetics will rapidly seem outdated. 

Cloud Atlas has produced polarized opinions. It received wins 

and nominations for numerous awards, including a Golden Globe. 

However, Time Magazine and Village Voice both named it the worst film 

of 2012. One can only conclude that all great artistic risks have their 

critics. I think the films adaptors were well aware of their own ambition 

when they wrote in the line for book publishing character Timothy 

Cavendish: “What is a critic if not a person who reads [or in this case, 

views] too quickly, arrogantly, but never wisely.” 

Profoundly moving and thought-provoking, Cloud Atlas will make 

you walk away feeling uplifted, inspired, and deeply disturbed at the 

same time. And, if you take nothing else away from the movie, it also 

has a spectacular soundtrack and an abundance of beautiful quotes. 

36 


FILM & TV 

THE VOICE 2.0: Why do we love this shit so much? 

Julia Greenhalf 

It’s a Monday night. You’ve just got home from uni, you’ve dumped your 

backpack on the floor and you find yourself sliding comfortably down the 

couch. “Ok, I’ll get off my ass and do something productive,” you say. Do 

you a) look over your Crim notes, b) work on that presentation you’ve 

been procrastinating over or c) make plans to meet up with a friend 

tomorrow? “None of the above!” you say, as the TV booms “THIS IS 

THE VOICE”, coercing you to sit and watch, not moving a millimetre 

away from that comfy seat you’re in. 

The Voice. Much like that one Justin Bieber song we’re ashamed 

to admit is in our iTunes collection, it’s that guilty pleasure we like to 

indulge in once in a while. Or maybe all the time. Maybe you have 7 

Bieber titles. I won’t judge. 

After its enormous popularity last year, the talent show is back 

again for 2013. Sure, the formula of the show stands out from its 

predecessors like Idol and Got Talent. Wannabe superstars audition 

‘blind’, where the coaches, with backs turned, judge contestants purely 

on singing ability. Not any of this ‘image’ or ‘attractiveness’ crap. The 

title of ‘coach’ itself – given to the four celebs who sign on for the show 

– just oozes a refreshing, unprecedented aura of genuine care for their 

prodigies, visions of coaches and contestants hand-in-hand, skipping 

off into the sunset. Kudos to the Dutch creators, I guess. It’s nice to see 

originality hasn’t yet become extinct. 

So, should we care about the show anymore? Do we need The 

Voice 2.0? I mean, it’s sooo 2012. Are we Monash kiddos sheep enough 

to jump on the bandwagon with the rest of Australian telly sponges? 

Surely our elitist intelligence tells us we should save brain cells. Or do we 

genuinely wanna watch the damn show? 

Let’s examine the reasons for tuning in again this year. There’s the 

oh-so enjoyable task of counting the ways Seal lures auditionees into 

joining his team. Don’t forget to pop in a few kitsch phrases like “I feel 

blessed to listen to you”, “You have something I can’t give you” and “You 

make me believe”. Just how many of these singing hopefuls are promised 

worldwide fame? Surely not all of them are that amazing, right? Oh, and 

between auditions, viewers are spoilt with behind-the-scene footage of 

what OPI nail shade the Sealmonster is sporting. Quality viewing. 

Then there’s Delta. LOL. Long gone are the days of her playing 

innocent little Nina Tucker on Neighbours, belting out Born To Try. 

Props to her that she’s made it to those fancy red chairs, but it sure does 

say a truckload about the success of your home-grown music industry 

when you consider who’s plonked next to her. Alas, there are the Delta 

outfits – was she aiming to resemble a bottle of J’adore Dior? – and her 

incessant need to be one of “the bros”, always late for group hugs due 

to her giraffing around in a pair of pay-check devouring heels. From her 

pitching strategy of “when words fail, blow kisses” to the Twitter account 

dedicated to a pair of specs she wore on set one day, you know when 

Delta’s in the house. 

Ricky has been well-behaved, polite and only inappropriate on one 

odd occasion, but where’s the fun in that? 

Joel Madden, with his trademark toothpick, has clearly won over 

Aussie hearts as the Logie award recipient for Most Popular Male New 

Talent. Nevertheless, it’s a constant battle between listening to his 

cheesy lines – “Your voice is like butter, put it on anything and it tastes 

good” – and pondering just how much dosh his script writer gets for 

them. 

The producers crowd around the drawing room, strategising how to 

draw out as many ad breaks as possible. Then there’s the extreme close 

up on tears flooding down an unsuccessful singer’s face. Their upbringing, 

their years of heartbreak, their journey so far. Chez The Voice, you’ll get a 

nice big kaleidoscope of emotions, and occasionally you’ll hear someone 

sing. 

So no, I don’t need to hear that the V Room is sponsored by 

Vodafone 986 times. No, I don’t buy into the “Were they or weren’t 

they?!?” fluff that Delta and host Darren McMullen were ever an item 

– obviously a crappy attempt at a marketing ploy. No, I don’t want 17 

minutes of Jessika Samarges fluffing her hair while she explains that she’s 

more than just hot. But if you can put up with a bit of dramatisation, 

a few weighty promises and a tonne of clichés, you’ll get a chance to 

hear some quality, spine-tingling vocals. And isn’t that why we watch 

the show in the first place? There you have it. The Voice is your choice, 

young grasshopper. 


37

SUBHEADING 

AUDI FESTIVAL OF GERMAN FILMS 

Richard Plumridge 

German cinema again makes its presence felt in Australia with the 12th 

annual Audi Festival of German Films. For a nation that is at the core 

of an unrelenting debt crisis, Germany shows no signs of slowing its 

prodigious cinematic output with 45 films screening in what is now a key 

event for German kultur in Australia. 

Wir Wollten Aufs Meer (Shores of Hope) 

German filmmakers continue their cinematic examination of the years 

of Cold War division in Torke Constantin Hebbeln’s Shores of Hope. 

Conny (Alexander Fehling) and Andreas (August Diehl, best known 

to English-speaking audiences as the dialect-discerning SS officer in the 

cellar bar in Inglourious Basterds) are two best friends who decide their 

best chance of a life away from the rigidity of East Germany is to become 

sailors in the port city of Rostock. However, this proves difficult in the 

paranoid political climate of 1980s East Germany, with Rostock its sole 

international port and those seeking jobs on ocean-going vessels treated 

with suspicion by the authorities. 

After three years of working on the docks, Conny and Andreas are 

given the opportunity to join a ship’s crew, provided they work for the 

dreaded East German secret police, the Stasi. The pair is tasked with 

secretly recording conversations with their foreman who is suspected 

of planning to de-fect to the West. What ensues is a portrait of abject 

misery the East German state inflicted on its citizens, with friends torn 

between their loyalties to each other and to their own selfish desires. 

Shores of Hope is richly infused with a sense of period, of a regime 

that basically played a state-sanctioned country-sized game of Prisoner’s 

Dilemma for over forty years. The Stasi and its omniscient influence are 

felt in every scene, subverting the autonomy of each character regardless 

of whether they are of the state or against it. While the film admirably 

attempts to reach the heights of Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck’s 

The Lives of Others (Das Leben der Anderen), it falls short, instead feeling 

like a slightly more melodramatic and conventional companion piece. 

Where Shores of Hope best succeeds is in providing a claustrophobic 

portrait of an omniscient regime that dominated an already demoralised 

people for decades. It is yet another successful entry in the German 

cinema’s ongoing introspective examination of the hard years of the 

Cold War. 

Ausgerechnet Sibirien (Lost in Siberia) 

In this fish-out-water comedy, divorced garment production manager, 

Mattias (Joachim Król) finds himself in Keremova, Siberia to establish 

a new logistics line for his company’s Russian subsidiary. Naturally, 

Mattias finds the subsidiary is made up of little more than an oversized 

Russian lady and her family who are not particularly amenable to being 

instructed how to do logistics by a German (“Hitler Kaputt!” is one of 

the favourite lines of the Russians). All goes sort-of to plan until Mattias 

falls for a traditional throat-singer, Sayana, and pursues her almost 

literally to the ends of the earth. 

In many ways, Lost in Siberia feels like a film that should be French. 

In fact, I was almost waiting for Gérard Depardieu to pop up, considering 

he is now a Russian citizen (and Putin acolyte). Perhaps it’s my studies 

in political economy, but I couldn’t help but view this film through the 

prism of the current economic and political climate. 

Germany is a key foreign investor in Russia and one of the few 

western states not to endlessly chastise Russia for its human rights record. 

Germany needs Russia’s gas and oil (former German chan-cellor Gerhard 

Schröder is chairman of the board of Nord Stream AG, a subsidiary of 

Russian state-owned gas company Gazprom) and Russia needs Germany’s 

currency, even if it is the Euro. The audience is constantly reminded 

of Russia’s former greatness, being told Keremova is the home town of 

Soviet cosmonaut and first man to walk in space, Alexey Leonov. This 

is a country where its citizens are still getting used to their diminished 

place in the post-Cold War order and the last thing they need is a 

German coming in and telling them how to do business. 

Mattias is a divorced, materialistic German who goes to Russia 

to teach them his methods, but instead he finds something greater, 

something transcendental. It’s all a bit hackneyed and a bit simple to 

imbue strange and foreign things with mystical otherness, but it does the 

job. Mattias’s journey may be somewhat predictable, but it’s certainly 

one worth taking and it is quite a beautiful reminder of the diversity and 

culture in every corner of the world. 

Vegemite Festival of Australian Cinema? (Warning, contains traces of 

opinion) 

All this begs the question: where is Australia’s prodigious cinematic 

output? Although Australian cinema has had some hits in the past few 

years, it would be difficult to programme a selection of equal quality if 

38 


FILM & TV 

Australia was to have a festival of local films in Berlin, for instance. 

Is it enough to continue doing depressing, albeit well-made kitchen 

sink dramas? Is it adequate to call a film “Australian” if it used only the 

post-production talent and computer wizardry of a few? What the hell is 

Australian cinema, anyway? 

As Ben Goldsmith argues in his article on The Conversation, the 

government’s recently announced National Cultural Policy (the first 

in sixteen years since the barren wasteland of the Howard era) is “bold, 

but vulnerable”. With Simon Crean self-immolating, it is up to a new 

minister, Tony Burke, to shepherd the policy through in these the likely 

dying days of the Labor Government. 

For a full calendar of films and session times, go to goethe.de/ozfilmfest 

THE RISE OF NETFLIX 

Serena Walton 

House of Cards made TV history overnight when Netflix, an American 

provider of on-demand Internet streaming media, released all 13 episodes 

of the show at once for viewers to watch at their own pace in February. 

House of Cards is an American adaptation of the 1990s British 

miniseries of the same name, based on a novel by Michael Dobbs about 

death, sex and politics. 

Starring Oscar-winner Kevin Spacey (American Beauty) Robin 

Wright (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) and Kate Mara (American Horror 

Story), House of Cards is different from other ambitious shows being made 

these days as it didn’t debut on television. It’s the first major TV show to 

completely bypass the television medium of networks and cable operators 

and premier online. This meant no scanning TV schedules to know when 

the next episode airs. 

Given the show’s production cost Netflix upward of $100 million, 

it may seem like Netflix took a big risk producing original content rather 

than licensing content that was already successful. 

Executive producer of House of Cards, Beau Willimon (The Ides of 

March), explains that he always wanted to write for television, but never 

thought it would happen. 

“Netflix gave us a generous amount of creative freedom, which made 

signing on with them an easy decision,” Willimon said. 

“You want something that engages the audience, that has truth in 

it, that means something to you, and ... allows you to explore a world that 

will constantly challenge and surprise you,” he said. 

“That’s what telling a great story is about.” 

Until recently, major commercial TV networks monopolised 

original TV programming, investing in it to sell advertising space to 

corporations. Netflix has changed the competitive landscape between TV 

networks, satellite broadcasters and cable companies; more competition 

means lower prices. 

Netflix revolutionises the way people watch TV shows. It has more 

than 33 million members in 40 countries that subscribe to their services 

for $7.99 US per month. Since Netflix is an on-demand Internet 

streaming media service and not a commercial TV network it rejects the 

commercial broadcasting TV models and does not rely on selling advertising 

space to source revenue. Therefore, it does not interrupt viewers with 

commercial breaks. 

However, in not airing the show at regular intervals, you miss out 

on the conversations that circulate around a show when everyone sees 

the same surprises, or endures the same cliffhangers. Finally, not everyone 

enjoys watching TV on their computers. 

Netflix positioning itself as an alternative to cable and satellite 

television that provides original content obviously isn’t great news for the 

U.S. and Canadian TV networks. We’re in an era where most of the great 

TV is on US cable channels such as ACM, HBO and Showtime, rather 

than the big commercial broadcast networks. Netflix doesn’t look to be a 

major game-changer just yet; but it does put more pressure on US cable 

channels to provide quality programs to keep subscribes subscribing. 

Selling House of Cards to the Australian market was a slow process, 

with insiders suggesting the original price was too high. The pay-TV platform 

will air the first three episodes of the political drama on its showcase 

broadcast channel on May 7 but also have the first full 13 episodes available 

for immediate download on its Foxtel Go and Foxtel On Demand services 

at the same time. 

To the delight of its devoted fans, Netflix’s has green lighted a 

second series of House of Cards. 


39

SUBHEADING 

CLASSIC FILM REVIEW: 

ROAD TO PERDITION 

Duncan Wallace 

Directed by Sam Mendes 

Starring Tom Hanks, Paul Newman and Jude Law 

“Sons are put on this earth to trouble their fathers.” 

Road to Perdition zeroes in on one of the telling features of a classic 

gangster movie: the gangsters who know that their decisions are immoral 

and want a better life for those they care about. Their careers of violent 

persuasion have made their lives toxic and unsettling. These mobsters 

are weathered enough to recognise their moral shortcomings. Their 

final act is not a triumphant urge for conquest and domination: it is the 

longing for a salvation they know they will never deserve. These guys 

turn our notion of the suave, self-important gangster on its head, because 

what they really desire is a life beyond crimes and misdemeanours. They 

want to end the daily power struggles that have occupied them for too 

long, at too high a cost. 

Take, for instance, one of the final scenes of The Godfather. The 

near-death Vito Corleone laments the unanticipated rise of his son, 

Michael, in the family business. Too ashamed to look at Michael squarely 

in the eye, we see Vito’s devastated face focusing on something offscreen. 

He exhaustingly admits: “I never wanted this for you. I work my 

whole life – I don’t apologise – to take care of my family, and I refused to 

be a fool, dancing on the string held by all those big shots. I don’t apologise 

– that’s my life – but I thought that, that when it was your time, that 

you would be the one to hold the string. Senator Corleone. Governor 

Corleone. Or something.” This confessional assessment, and, with it, 

the complete conversion of Michael from a hesitant outsider to a cutthroat 

successor serve as the final tragedy of that great film. His 

own transformation is so unsettling that even Michael himself vows 

to assuage it by committing to make the family business “completely 

legitimate” within five years. 

It’s a similar desire for an impossibly graceful exit that consumes 

the main character in Road to Perdition, Michael Sullivan Snr. Like 

Vito Corleone – and, as we fully learn in The Godfather Part II, Michael 

Corleone too – Sullivan accepts his life as an occasional murderer and 

the trials and tribulations that go with it. Over the years, Sullivan has 

learned to rationalise his life with warm explanations for his cold conduct. 

The year is 1931, and the middle of the Great Depression sees him at 

the peak of his work for mobster John Rooney. Normally, he would carry 

about his business in a manner of precision and loyalty unmatched by 

Rooney’s other associates. His moving relationship with Rooney – who 

brought Sullivan into the fold by raising him, an orphan, as his own 

son – is communicated early in the film, and not through words. We see 

Sullivan (Tom Hanks) and Rooney (Paul Newman) sit semi-awkwardly 

on either end of a piano stool as they perform a restrained sonata at a 

wake. Their musical unison is imperfect, but beautiful. It is only when 

his family is shattered that Sullivan’s composure is overturned by a 

passionate intensity. 

The father-son relationship is the film’s defining vehicle for 

conveying both tragedy and promise. It is Sullivan’s older son, Michael 

Jnr, who sets the unfortunate series of events in motion, and it is 

Rooney’s son Connor (Daniel Craig) – a sickly volatile mobster who 

is painfully jealous of the paternal relationship between Rooney and 

Sullivan – who makes the consequences bloody and crushing. But all the 

players know that Michael Jnr is the only one who could really “make 

it to heaven”. He is their only hope of a life untarnished by the politics 

that has ruined them. This becomes the end game for Sullivan, securing 

Michael’s safe future away from the mess is his final assignment. The 

pressure on him from an associate of Al Capone, Frank Nitti (Stanley 

Tucci), who engages the devilish work of assassin-for-hire Harlen 

Maguire (Jude Law) to take them both out, makes the exit difficult to 

execute cleanly. It is this constant threat – this feeling of being chased or 

40 


FILM & TV 

“dancing on the string”, as Vito Corleone would say – that puts in sharp 

focus Sullivan’s rushed desperation, but also his saving love of Michael. 

These circumstances seem like the first time that Sullivan has 

taken control of his life. For the first half hour, we are taken slowly into 

his quiet and settled world, despite hints of its instability. We are shown 

a man who obeys orders, who is loyal. This is the difference between 

Road to Perdition and The Godfather that Chicago Sun-Times film critic 

Roger Ebert was at pains to emphasise: Sullivan doesn’t have the freewill 

of Vito or Michael Corleone. The harsh weather that is the setting 

of his life – gloomy days, constant rain, frosty snow – visually recreates 

an uncontrollable ebb and flow: decisions are made for Sullivan, not by 

him. But with his plan for a great escape, Michael comes to life – to his 

life, on his terms. The film’s first and only memorable comedic scene 

deliberately comes after this transformation – well into its second half – 

when Sullivan teaches Michael to drive in the beautifully-shot surrounds 

of Chicago. We finally get the spirit of adventure and accomplishment 

that we might expect from a gangster film – but it is premised on, and 

marred by, the moral conflicts and practical threats that continue to 

plague Sullivan’s life. 

This is a mesmerisingly visual film. It has decidedly less dialogue 

that Mendes’ earlier directorial effort, American Beauty, and it aims to 

tell a story foremost through pictures and music. The cinematography is 

first-rate: it makes Road to Perdition at the same time one of the bleakest and 

one of the most beautiful films I’ve ever seen. The dark smoky rooms, 

the top hats, the army of black umbrellas… these images are the small, 

assorted details that leave the biggest impact, that unwittingly stay with 

you the most. In this frame of mind, the final scene – Michael standing 

bare-foot on a white beach – is so stunningly bright that it requires some 

vision adjustment on the audience’s part. 

We eventually get a final shoot-out: Sullivan exacts the revenge 

he unwaveringly pursued against the people who destroyed his family. 

But, again, this classic feature of a gangster movie isn’t quite what we 

expect. We don’t see a mechanically brutal death like the mauling-down 

of Sonny by a squadron of mobsters in The Godfather, or Robert De Niro 

bashing a guy’s head in with a baseball bat in The Untouchables. Instead, 

we see the piercing light of a fired gun in the distance, and Sullivan’s 

troubled face as he chillingly fires at a mob – including a person he loves 

deeply. It is a stunning slow-motion sequence, delivered to the tune 

of soft piano chords and the sound of rainfall. The final, brief noise of 

machine-gun-fire – the only time we hear it in the entire film – is violent 

and shocking. We’re not accustomed to it, so we are not desensitised to 

its damage. Overall, though, there really isn’t that much violence for 

a gangster movie. There’s no cocky, swearing, self-indulgent dialogue; 

there’s no obsessive inferiority complex; there’s no desperate cry for family 

unity. Even between Sullivan and his soon-to-be-enemies, we watch 

only cautious, respectful discussion between professionals about making 

the right choices. Through minimalism and restraint, this film – a recent 

and refreshing addition to a wonderful genre – achieves unexpected 

emotional power. 

GOOD NIGHT, 

ROGER 

Ghian Tjandaputra 

I am devastated by the passing of Roger Ebert, one of my 

greatest influences. The world knows him best as a film 

critic, most notably for his contribution at the Chicago Sun- 

Times and for presenting At The Movies with Gene Siskel 

throughout 1990s. He was much more than a film critic 

though; he helped redefine the field. 

A movie is essentially a story. To review a movie is 

not merely to point out the good and the bad. If anything, 

what is judged as ‘good’ and ‘bad’ is entirely subjective. 

Attempting to approach it with the assumption that any 

form of absolute objectivity exists would be almost pointless. 

As with stories, what you take from a movie inevitably 

depends heavily on your own unique experiences. 

Ebert embraced this. He told the world what he saw 

from his quintessentially Ebert-esque prism – a prism that 

was shaped by an overwhelming love for movies. He helped 

movies find their audiences, and he helped audiences find 

their movies. The world embraces him so dearly because, in 

essence, his reviews are really about life. A movie is rarely 

the sum of its parts; it is an illusion that attempts to resolve 

(or distract oneself from) life’s unsolvable mysteries. Ebert 

tapped into that attempt better than anyone else. 

His continued resilience staring cancer right in the eye 

is an inspiration to many. Diagnosed with thyroid cancer in 

2002, he had lost his ability to speak, eat and drink since 

2006, but the final year of his life was his most prolific, 

having written 306 reviews. 

Upon passing, it has become clearer that a writer leaves 

behind a legacy unlike any other. If more people adhere to 

his life credo, the world will be a much better place: 

“’Kindness’ covers all of my political beliefs. No need to 

spell them out. I believe that if, at the end of it all, according 

to our abilities, we have done something to make others 

a little happier, and something to make ourselves a little 

happier, that is about the best we can do. To make others 

less happy is a crime. To make ourselves unhappy is where 

all crime starts. We must try to contribute joy to the world. 

That is true no matter what our problems, our health, our 

circumstances. We must try.” 

As he embarks on that celestial means of transportation 

towards the stars, I say to him: good night, Roger. 


PERFORMING ARTS 

“THAT’S OUR HITLER!”: 

Hilarity and Heil-ing in Mel Brooks’ The Producers 

Julia Walker 

Images: lensartphotography.com.au 

This May, JYM theatre co. are set to perform 

Mel Brooks’ musical theatre extravaganza, The 

Producers the 2001 musical theatre production 

adapted from Brooks’ 1968 film of the same 

name. The Premise: Max Bialystock, a washedup 

old Broadway producer and Leo Bloom, an 

accountant with big dreams, figure out they 

can make more money with a flop than a hit. 

The vehicle: ‘Springtime for Hitler,’ a gay 

romp through Nazi Germany written by Franz 

Liebkind. I spoke to the tremendously talented 

Joel Lazar, set to don a swastika and a WWII 

helmet as Franz. 

Franz is, according to Joel, “your classic 

angry Nazi… nostalgic, romantic, maniacal, 

possibly a schizophrenic, possibly also 

bipolar… possibly on all those spectrums 

- simultaneously. He’s the man with the 

enormous foam hand with the pointing finger 

at the footy… but for Hitler. Basically, he 

thinks he’s the last man standing to let the 

world know who the true Adolf Hitler was.” 

Now, imagine if this man wrote a 

play, which was turned into a musical by a 

flamboyantly gay Broadway director and then 

staged by two Producers who want it to fail. 

Essentially, the Producers want it to be so 

offensive that the play closes after the first act. 

It can’t be done without at least a few swastikas 

and a bit of heil-ing. 

Whilst the offensiveness of the scene 

is all part of the joke, it’s not beyond the 

imagination that it might offend certain 

audience members, particularly given that JYM 

theatre co. is Australia’s only Jewish Musical 

Theatre company. Established by Shlom 

Eshel in 2002, the company aims to provide a 

creative outlet for the Jewish community and 

beyond. Some might view The Producers as a 

somewhat unexpected choice 

for JYM. 

“Anyone who knows 

the company shouldn’t be 

surprised. They’re fearless 

and put on productions 

that people will love. I 

suppose some people might 

come to the performance 

thinking ‘oh, a nice little 

Jewish company, they’ll do 

something like Fiddler on 

the Roof.’ And people keep 

asking Shlom, ‘Why don’t 

you do Fiddler? You should do 

Fiddler’. She responds, ‘Why 

the hell would anyone want 

to see that again!’” 

When looking at the list 

of past JYM co. productions, 

it becomes pretty obvious 

they don’t shy away from 

a challenge, or a bit of 

controversy. The more risqué 

shows in the list include: 

Avenue Q, featuring the song ‘Everyone’s a little 

bit racist’ and a bit of puppet sex on stage; Hair, 

with its infamous nude scene and depiction 

of illegal drugs; Sweet Charity, concerning 

the romantic ups-and-downs of an everhopeful 

prostitute; and Cabaret, set in a seedy 

underground club during the rise of the Nazi 

42 


PERFORMING ARTS 

party, with just a smattering of swastikas. 

But should crossing the Hitler-line be 

any different? Is portraying Hitler on stage, 

surrounded by tap-dancing storm troopers, 

going too far? It was for the audience of the 

1968 film. The first time the public met Brooks’ 

creation it came under fierce criticism from 

the press and was a significant box office flop, 

called “amateurishly crude” (Pauline Kael, New 

York Times). Whilst it did win an Academy 

Award for Best Writing, Story and Screenplay 

and also garnered some glowing reviews, 

negative reviewers noted the bad taste of 

devising a comedy about two Jews who stage a 

Broadway show about Hitler, 23 years after the 

end of WWII. An appreciative cult audience 

kept the film in the popular consciousness until 

it was revived as a Tony award winning musical 

in 2001, culminating in the release of a slick, 

big-budget film version in 2005. 

In 33 years our response to pirouetting 

Nazis has changed dramatically, probably 

due in part to our proximity to the events 

themselves. From a distance, Nazism is 

easily ridiculed- because it was intrinsically 

ridiculous. On the other hand, it’s easy to 

imagine how an audience member who 

experienced persecution, or had close family 

members who did, would see crossing the 

Hitler-humour-line as out of the question. 

Joel’s grandmothers illustrate the point. 

His Sydney born grandmother will probably see 

the show, but his Romanian born grandmother 

absolutely will not. Her husband and father 

both spent time in labour camps during WWII. 

Joel’s Dad originally told him not to tell her he 

was in the play. Joel’s response: “Bullshit. I’ll 

tell my grandmother because she should know 

what I’m up to. I’ll explain the plot to her, but I 

know she won’t understand the theory, and she 

won’t come.” 

Joel acknowledges the humour might 

turn away a few audience members. “I think we 

might lose 5% of the old people and another 

5% of conservatives who will say ‘no’ to any 

humour of this nature… but you can’t sacrifice 

what you’re really out to do because of those 

people. If you’re pushing the edge of something, 

you can’t play to those audiences.” 

And if you don’t understand the theory, 

you don’t get the joke. Joel notes that no jokes 

in The Producers are actually made about the 

Holocaust- it’s all about the glitzy, extreme 

pomp of the Nazi party. Nazism is presented 

as plainly ridiculous, and those clinging to 

Nazism (Franz) are dangerously unstable. As 

Joel says, there’s nothing observational about 

the humour- it’s all about the ridiculous. 

“Addressing Nazism through regular avenues 

like dialogue or would be to give it too much 

credit; it would put it on equal footing with 

other reasonable, acceptable views: which it is 

not. 

“From a distance, Nazism is 

easily ridiculed- because it was 

intrinsically ridiculous. On the 

other hand, it’s easy to imagine 

how an audience member who 

experiencwed persecution, or 

had close family members who 

did, would see crossing the 

Hitler-humour-line as out of the 

question.” 

Humour, on the other hand, transcends regular 

communication and is perfect at pointing out 

the absurd.” Essentially, even wry, Seinfeld-esk 

humour would be giving it too much credit. 

Despite his belief in the power of humour, 

Joel acknowledges that even when you’re 

putting on an offensive play, you have to keep 

asking yourselves “are there certain offences 

we shouldn’t make?” For instance, during the 

‘Springtime for Hitler’ number, three cast 

members originally stood facing the audience, 

downstage centre and in turn said ‘Heil Hitler’ 

while they raised heiled out to the audience. 

After seeing the scene run a couple of times, 

the production team decided that whilst 

tap-dancing storm troopers saluting away 

from the audience was one thing, directing 

it so confrontationally at the audience was 

unnecessary. Joel describes seeing this part of 

the number rehearsed and having a “visceral 

reaction to it,” knowing that this was crossing 

the line. 

Of course, everyone’s ‘line’ is in a slightly 

different place. Whilst it’s unlikely to find 

someone who doesn’t know what’s coming in 

the second act, I’m going to throw in a Harry- 

Potter inspired metaphor to convince you that 

all this Hitler humour has a point: if you laugh 

at the Boggart when it takes the shape you 

most fear, it’ll disappear. No one wants to be a 

neo-Nazi when Nazism’s a standing joke. 

So come along this May and see what you 

think of a singing, dancing, Hitler. Not that 

the entire show is one long Hitler Joke. There 

are other scenes, too (I should know. I’m in 

the show…Yes! You’ve caught me, blatant selfpromotion 

right here. But doesn’t that just put 

me in the best position to know how good it’s 

going to be?). And they’re damn funny!! Heilarious!! 

Nazi-shabby!! Swas-ticklingly good!! 

Have I crossed your line? 

The Producers will be playing at Phoenix 

Theatre, 101 Glenhuntly Rd, Elwood from 

the 11th to the 25th of May. Tickets can be 

purchased online from JYM’s website, www. 

jymtheatre.com. 


SUBHEADING 

Eliza Gale 

Monash Uni Student Theatre (MUST) are proud to announce a new 

festival, taking place on Monash Clayton campus between the 2nd - 20th 

August: The Container Festival. 

Incorporating a festival Hub, shipping containers around campus, 

‘miniMUST’ and other inventive spaces filled with music, games, dance, 

acting, circus, burlesque, interactive performances and exhibitions, The 

Container Festival is an exciting new enterprise of Monash Uni Student 

Theatre. 

As well as daytime and night-time performances, the Hub will include 

a licensed bar, delicious food and plenty of chill-out space. There are lots of 

ways to be a part of the festival: as a creator, volunteer, audience member or 

all three! 

Submissions are currently open for student-created work and we’re 

encouraging expressions of interest as soon as possible. Applications close 

May 1st. 

We want to program a wide variety of art from many artistic disciplines, 

including work that could be as diverse as: an interactive character 

tour, projection art/films, cooking segments, artistic speed dating, craft 

sessions… surprise us! 

The festival is only as creative as you make it. 

More information on The Container Festival and an artists’ application 

form can be found on the MUST section of the MSA website. 

There are a variety of ticketing options available, as well as sponsorship 

opportunities. 

Applications for volunteers and various crew members will be opening 

shortly. If you have further questions, feel free to contact festival cocurator 

Ana Ryan on anastasiaryan90@gmail.com. 

COMING UP IN THE MUST 

SEASON... 

MUSTBOP - MUST B-Grade Film Overdubbing Project - May 1 

Take a B-grade film, remove the sound, add a live mix of cheeky new 

dialogue, music and sound effects – and enjoy the spoofing! And why 

not make the first one a spaghetti western? Created by James Jackson. 

PRONTO - April 22-27 

Performed Readings Of New Theatrical Offerings. Original new 

student-written plays take to the stage in a series of reheared readings 

followed by discussions with the audience, creatives and the 

playwright. 

Curated by Ella Motteram. 

In the Fires, We Weep - May 2-11 

A Contemporary Dance Work based on Dante Alighieri’s The Divine 

Comedy, inspired by the first of the three books: Inferno. 

A cast of demon-like creatures are banished into the nine circles of 

hell. Created by James McGuire. 

Nora and Hedda- May 16-25 

A dynamic adaptation of two of Ibsen’s most famous works, A Doll’s 

House and Hedda Gabler. In which a fascinating range of characters, 

including two of the most talked about women of all time, struggle 

with how to live, how to be, who to be and what role to play. 

Adapted and directed by MUST Artistic Director Yvonne Virsik. 

44 


A NEWBIES 

GUIDE TO 

SELF - PUBLISHING 

Thomas Wilson 

When can you consider yourself a writer? Some say it’s if you write every 

day, whether a journal entry or a poem. Some give themselves the title 

even if all they do is sit around and dream. But most would agree that 

if you get published, if you get a book on the shelves, then you can 

officially call yourself a writer. 

The problem is that it is increasingly difficult to do that. Like pretty 

much the rest of the population, you feel like you have a book in you, 

but the big boys aren’t interested. They’re more preoccupied with cutting 

staff from all departments, collating a run of useless imprints and giving 

Amazon the finger when Jess Bezos turns his back. The only books that 

sell are 80-year-old authors of popular fiction and celebrity chef photo 

shoots, at least until the former die (soon), and in the case of the latter, 

the world erupts in food riots (soon). What’s a budding young writer 

with a nifty idea and a fresh voice to do? 

Simple. Self-publish. 

1. Write the damn thing 

In the past, self-publishing was relegated to a ‘vanity project’, only 

viable for the already-rich who wanted a book to add to their accolades. 

Fortunes have shifted, and now self-publishing is more accessible for 

those with any type of story ready to go. That said, you should avoid 

some key genres: erotica, supernatural and especially supernatural 

erotica. If you describe your novel as “an Agatha Christie crime mystery, 

with influences from Twilight and Indiana Jones,” then maybe post it 

on your blog. Or better yet, not at all. Knowing the market has always 

been a guessing game, but some things will never attract an audience 

(excluding your mum). 

source a designer to make a stand-out book cover—visuals sell. It’s 

unlikely you’ll have the skills – as a low-level banker or housewife – to 

bang together a decent-looking (let alone readable) book. After the nitty 

gritty is done your confidence will be up, your savings down, and your 

dreams that much closer to reality. 

3. Books, books everywhere, but not a bit to read 

These days we’re simply drowning in literature (though I use that noun 

loosely). Not only are official gatekeepers of the written word pumping 

out pages at unprecedented rates, but the ease with which an individual 

can sell their story is increasing constantly. There’s a hundred online 

companies, including Authonomy and Author Solutions, offering selfpublishing 

services, from editing to distribution. If you’re tight on cash 

and want to go digital, there is Smashwords, Wattpad and even Amazon. 

With a few simple clicks your baby can be out there on the interwebs 

waiting for poor, misguided browsers to accidentally hit the ‘1-click’ buy 

button. Congratulations, you’ve made it. 

4. Shill, shill until you can’t feel no more 

Hang on a second, back up. There’s still the marketing to do. Just 

because your book is out there for all to see doesn’t mean that it will 

be seen by all. Have you thought about your metadata? Do you have 

a Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Branch and, hell, a Myspace account? 

Do you know what Vine is, and would you consider using it for a book 

trailer? If you thought writing a book was hard, wait until you have to 

constantly update your blog with mundane anecdotes about your cat. 

And no, a book tour isn’t viable for a self-published author. 

2. Polish makes published 

Your manuscript is deemed acceptable by your writing group—now 

what? I hate to break it to you, but it’s still awful. Now you need to hire 

an editor (and no, not your English teacher Aunt). It doesn’t matter 

how many times you read it, there will always be a way to improve the 

writing, and the best person to help you do so is the professional who 

hasn’t read it yet and charges a hefty fee. While you’re at it, you should 

That’s all you need to worry about if you’re thinking of going the selfpublishing 

route. With a little bit of investment, a lot of time and a 

metric shit ton of luck, you may end up being the next E.L. James or 

Hugh Howey. But it’s more than likely that that won’t happen. 

Suddenly, the slush pile doesn’t look so bad. 


45

CREATIVE SPACE 

PHOTOS I N FOCUS 

edward xu 

I am Edward Keyang Xu, a third 

year student majoring in Finance. 

I am very happy to share my 

works with Lot’s Wife. As you 

see, every picture on this page is 

formed of two photos stitched 

together. They are all about the 

cities where I have travelled or 

lived. 

Despite of their remarkable 

geographic distances and 

confusing reversal seasons or 

time differences, those cities 

are connected, not only by the 

enhanced international trade 

relationship or fluctuating 

global financial market but 

by the people who are actually 

being there. The pros and 

cons of globalization could be 

controversial, but the connection 

which makes our world more 

dynamic is real. Nothing is more 

important than that. 

Want your 

photos featured 

in Lot’s Wife? 

It’s easy, send us an 

email - no experience 

required 

lotswife2013@gmail. 

com 

Join the Lot’s 

Wife Contributors 

group on facebook 

for deadlines and 

freebies! 


CREATIVE SPACE 

david nowak 

I got lost one day. I found myself 

travelling Japan, China, Thailand. 

Places that I took my camera, 

Odysseus, with me. My work 

doesn’t attempt to recreate the 

reality of the places I saw, but 

the emotion connected to those 

places; they end up in full colour 

and depth trying to express that 

intangible something. I don’t 

suppose I can ever fully contain 

that within a photo, but I will 

continue treating my photos as 

art pieces, rather than a dedicated 

craft, that symbolise what I got 

lost in. Even now, while I study my 

Masters in Publishing and Editing, 

I’m avoiding my hometown, 

Adelaide. 


47

SUBHEADING 

CREATIVE WRITING 

Communication Error 

Anonymous 

Coastguard’s Cottage 

Ben Glover 

48 

exasperation 

long-windedness 

trying to say what you really mean, 

but only when pressed. 

otherwise, 

you’ll say nothing at all. 

seeking questions, 

seeking more information, 

why, as though you cannot trust your intuition – 

as though you cannot trust me to be 

how I have always been. 

how you have always known me to be. 

a chessboard of words. 

twisting and stabbing 

and all the while the pieces falling are 

not the scales from our eyes, but 

my own flaking emotions, 

my restraint, 

the cage holding back darkness, anger, 

everything we are trying to suppress. 

everything holding us down. 

worse than anything else, 

we perpetuate this communication error. 

our conversations 

always convoluted, 

always hurting, 

to my own reluctant surprise. 

is everyone afraid, like us? 

is it just a disguise? 

but no, so much more – 

a blade, a smokescreen, a torture device – 

a way to protect ourselves – 

floundering through our shame. 

but if we swore to only use 

words for good? 

no, even that would be reversed, 

all justified in your flexible brain, 

and probably in mine 

(always overwhelmed by emotion) 

I woke to your breath again this morning. 

It had been sitting on my shoulder for hours 

with honey gold eyes which glowed 

like two bronze medallions in the early dawn 

wavering slightly as the moon does when the tide comes in 

and as night’s flame breathes its last when the wax melts away – 

Naturally 

I’m waiting for you to come and get that. 

In the meantime I lay alone 

and just stared at that glorious painting. 

The same painting I let my dreams take sail in, 

the night you asked me to lie beside you. 

The Coastguard’s Cottage at Pourville 

It’s funny how colours change with the natural course of time, 

how my sanity revolves in clockwise motion on the tip of a second hand – 

one that wasn’t mine, yours rested on my chest for quite some time 

with hues steadily lightening to match the daylight streaming through the 

window 

of your eyes 

overturning how I perceived just about everything I ever once did. 

And my boat’s there, but it’s in the far horizon. 

Most times even I can’t see it, but I like to imagine that despite daily chaos it 

floats there. 

Maybe it just depends on the lighting, or the time of day. 

But she slips away each morning 

licking her paws and jumping off the bed 

her tail slinking past the door frame as she leaves the room. 

And the memory of her honey gold eyes 

engrained and bright in my memory 

and his breath 

is as easy as the morning sun 

peeking over the horizon. 

Want your creative writing featured in Lot’s Wife? 

and we are back to square one. 

Email us at lotswife2013@gmail.com 

our everlasting 

LOT’S WIFE EDITION 3 • and 2013join our Contributors group on Facebook for deadlines, updates and 

stalemate. 

freebies!

SUBHEADING 

LITERARY NOTES 

Thomas Wilson 

Writing Wisdom: Kurt Vonnegut 

1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not 

feel the time was wasted. 

2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for. 

3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of 

water. 

4. Every sentence must do one of two things — reveal character or 

advance the action. 

5. Start as close to the end as possible. 

6. Be a Sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, 

make awful things happen to them-in order that the reader may see 

what 

they are made of. 

7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to 

the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia. 

8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. 

To hell with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding 

of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the 

story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages. 

Publishing News and Blues 

•Macmillian to halt distribution: As yet another sign of declining book 

sales, Macmillan Australia will cease its own distribution services by 

April 2014, outsourcing all needs to another company. This will affect 

Macmillan imprints and other companies that use Macmillan Distribution 

Services. 

•Goodbye Bookish: Sales via Booki.sh, an ebook selling website used 

by Melbourne retailers such as Readings and Books for Cooks, will cease 

services on June 30. This unfortunate news comes after the merger with 

Overdrive, but readers who have bought through the service will still 

have access to their books, 

•Amazon buys Goodreads: It was inevitable that the ever-growing 

Goodreads would be bought, but the real surprise is that publishers let 

Amazon, already the gorilla in the room, envelop the independent website 

for book lovers into its conglomerate. The question now is (like with 

Google reader): What are the alternatives? 

Refining Reads 

On the Art of Reading: A printing of 12 lectures given by Sir Arthur 

Quiller-Couch in the early 1900s, it is a follow up to his On the Art of 

Writing. But before writing comes reading (as I’m sure all you budding authors 

are aware), and this gives various guides, such as reading the Bible, 

the use of Masterpieces and, for all us students, reading for examinations. 

It’s available as a free ebook (Google it). 


49

CULTURE 

THE CHIPS ARE 

DOWN: 

How betting is becoming ingrained in sporting culture. 

Christopher Pase 

You can no longer turn on the television to 

watch sport without being bombarded by ads 

for betting companies. Before the game odds, 

live updates on how the odds are changing 

and ridiculous betting options no one cares 

about are pasted all over the screen. Almost 

all major sports are being infiltrated by betting 

agencies. I counted 12 separate ads in half an 

hour of an AFL broadcast, without including 

the billboards surrounding the ground that 

are always in the background of the action. 

Even SBS, the channel known for being less 

commercialized, feels it necessary to post odds 

and telephone numbers to bet with a credit 

card before the soccer begins. But this issue 

is deeper than just an annoying interruption 

during sport, it sets a dangerous precedent 

where betting becomes an ingrained part of our 

culture and a dangerous trap for young people. 

Tom Waterhouse is perhaps the worst 

offender with his faux-artistic black and white 

ads which are featured multiple times each 

ad break. Taking betting advertising to the 

next level, Waterhouse bought his way into 

the Channel 9 commentary team, at least for 

rugby league in NSW – a multi-million dollar 

deal over 5 years. This didn’t go unnoticed; 

a parliamentary hearing in March led to him 

being banned from appearing next to the 

Channel 9 commentary team and also ruled 

that he must be identified as a bookmaker 

rather than a Channel 9 personality. While 

Waterhouse has tried to signal his good 

intentions by helping fund the investigation 

into drug use in Australian sport, his real 

intent was made clear with the statement 

“I’m offering odds of $1.85 that everything 

will turn out all right in the end. And as a 

special offer this weekend, bet with me and, 

if your team is beaten by a favourite found to 

be on performance-enhancing drugs, I’ll give 

you your money back up to the value of $25.” 

Waterhouse doesn’t miss a trick and will use 

any chance to lighten the pockets of punters or 

draw a new victim into his clutches. 

“With iPhone apps and online 

betting accounts becoming 

commonplace, there appears to 

be no escape from the presence 

of betting agencies. One wonders 

how much further they can 

infiltrate our culture.” 

To watch American basketball live, 

I’ve had to create my own online Sportsbet 

account. I paid $20, the minimum deposit 

allowed, but withdrew down to $1 to ensure I 

can still view games. The website is covered in 

ridiculous first time bet offers designed to snare 

people and their credit card details into the 

system: 2 bets for the price of one, $50 for referring 

a friend and money back if you sign up to 

bet on certain teams. They can try their hardest 

to tempt my $1 away from me, but the constant 

pressure highlights the dangers associated with 

gambling; the bookies will do anything to draw 

you in and keep you spending money. 

With iPhone apps and online betting 

accounts becoming commonplace, there 

appears to be no escape from the presence 

of betting agencies. One wonders how much 

further they can infiltrate our culture. There 

are already options to bet on the location of 

Melbourne’s third airport, Nobel Prize winners, 

the name of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West’s 

baby and Julia Gillard’s chances of retaining 

her job as PM. How long will it be before 

Peter Hitchener no longer quotes a Nielson 

2-party preferred poll but crosses to a Sportsbet 

correspondent for the latest prices on the 

upcoming election? 

In the United States, they have banned 

all betting advertising during broadcasting 

of NFL games to prevent the blurring of 

the line between sports and betting. There 

are associated problems with illegal betting 

as a result, but why can’t the Australian 

government follow the lead of the US and ban 

betting ads during live sports? After all, we 

seem to follow the US blindly on everything 

else they do. 

In May, The Senate Committee on 

Gambling Reform is presenting their guidelines 

for promotions of gambling in sport. We can 

only hope they help prevent gambling from 

becoming an ingrained part of our culture, 

rid us of repetitive betting ads and Tom 

Waterhouse’s smarmy face from our TV screens. 

50 


FROM UNEMPLOYED 

STUDENTS TO 

ENTREPRENEURS: 

The development of Cricketcoach app 

Cricketcoach have developed three interactive 

smartphone apps (Batting, Bowling and 

Fielding/WKT). These apps are packed with 

detailed coaching points, HD videos, analysed 

pictures, common faults, fun drills and comparison 

sections. The apps are removing the boundaries 

of cricket coaching and allowing anyone to 

become the coach. You can download the 

apps from iTunes, or from the Google Play and 

Blackberry app stores. 

After graduating with good grades from 

various universities, the four future employees 

of Cricketcoach were finding it very difficult to 

gain employment in the economic downturn. 

They had always had a dream to work as 

entrepreneurs, but desperately needed a spark 

to make the dream reality. That spark came 

from the founder of Cricketcoach, Joe Eaton. 

Joe, like myself and employee Matt Sanderson, 

was playing cricket professionally in Victoria at 

the time. Appointed as a head coach of a local 

team, Joe was in the middle of a one-to-one 

coaching session when he realised he needed 

to check his old out-dated manual about a 

coaching tip. However, he had left the manual 

in England. Joe realised how much easier 

it would be to have a manual you could take 

anywhere and use anytime, and this is how the 

idea of having professional coaching application 

for smartphones came about. 

The old methods of coaching via a manual 

are boring and uninteresting, not only to 

current cricketers but to children and adults 

wanting to begin playing the game. Cricketcoach 

made the apps interactive and easy to 

use, aiming to make practice and coaching 

a lot more fun for budding cricketers. It was 

decided even before the development process 

that Cricketcoach wanted to make the apps 

as cheap as possible for the public, as the cost 

of one-to-one coaching is ridiculous and they 

wanted to give everyone in the world access to 

professional coaching. 

The apps took roughly a year to build. 

During this year Joe, Matt, a professional 

coach – Rob Hodson Walker – and I remained 

conveniently unemployed, which enabled us to 

collectively write, film and develop the apps. 

We Cricketcoach lads believed in the apps, 

and given the lack of job prospects at the time, 

we were willing to invest time and money in 

the idea because we knew it would be worth it 

in the long run. 

Building the awareness of the initial app 

was a tricky thing to do, as we didn’t want 

potential competitors gaining knowledge of 

the product whilst it was still in development. 

These companies had a bigger budget and 

more credibility to market their own apps, so 

the concept was best kept quiet. Once the 

apps had been fully developed, Cricketcoach 

then started to raise awareness of the product. 

Competitors would find it very hard to better 

the detail in the apps, let alone to better the 

price, and were running out of time to raise the 

money to develop them. 

As unemployed graduates ourselves, the 

developers of the Cricketcoach app are very 

keen to give other struggling students the opportunity 

to review it. Cricketcoach conducted 

a long email campaign, contacting every club 

within the UK and every national board, not 

only informing them of the apps but also asking 

for feedback with which to improve the 

product. 

The feedback on the apps has been amazing. 

We’ve received reviews from newspapers, 

magazines, bloggers, cricket players and coaches, 

professionals and ex-professionals – all of 

which has been very positive, with many people 

astonished by the level of detail available 

for such a low price. The apps have removed 

the boundaries from cricket coaching, bringing 

it up to date and making coaching interactive 

and fun. Players, children, adults, parents, 

grandparents, teachers and countless others 

can now all access professional coaching anytime 

and anywhere, and either coach themselves 

or become a coach for others. 

The apps have been downloaded in 28 

countries all around the world, ranging from 

India, Australia and England to Panama, Switzerland 

and Israel. Cricketcoach is helping to 

increase participation in cricket around the 

world and aiding the spread of our beautiful 

game. We are currently working with county 

boards in England to further improve the apps 

and create others. Afterward, we have our 

sights set on expanding our business to India 

and Australia. 

It is amazing how one unemployed graduate’s 

dream, with the help of three dedicated 

friends, can become a reality. We would definitely 

recommend any graduates struggling to 

get a job to follow any dream they may have. 

With the commitment and skill to back it, it is 

worth taking the risk. 


51

THE STREET 

CULTURE 

ART OF 

SLINKACHU: 

Little people in a big world 

Hannah Gordon 

In our race to get through this life, we run like horses with blinkers, our 

resolute gaze failing to stray from the path in front of us. But if we avert 

our eyes and slow to a jog, the darkened street corners can be a welcome 

respite from the rush. 

London based artist Slinkachu works with the miniature world. 

Many of his art installations are only thumbnails high; only those walking 

slow enough are able to spot them. The scenes are often comical: a 

man whose car has been crushed by a giant lollipop or a resigned superhero 

sitting in a beer can. But there is likewise a melancholy undertone. 

Slinkachu’s installations explore the sadness of everyday life and the 

anguish of becoming old and mediocre. His tiny, overweight, balding 

superhero is now a redundant beer drinker. 

But this is just my way of interpreting his work. I contacted Slinkachu 

to find out what context he brings to his work; whether he creates 

them merely for fun or if they have reflexive or satirical intent. 

Slinkachu says: 

My work plays with metaphor and analogies – there is an obvious 

‘fantasy’ element to the work but really all the images are commenting 

on real life and real situations. I try and explore the different types of 

feeling that living in a big city can create – those of being lost, alone, 

dwarfed by the environment or threatened by others. I use a lot of humour 

as well though, as there is often something inherently absurd about 

the dramas and problems of city living. I think that humour can be really 

useful in putting across ideas. Hopefully my work has different levels – on 

the surface it is often humorous but underneath that there are darker 

themes for people to explore. 

The superhero series was all about growing old. We overlook older 

people in society despite what great things they may have done in the 

past, and I wanted to explore that. I think some of it was about my 

personal feelings about growing up too, about hidden hopes and dreams 

and whether or not these things play out in life. 

Slinkachu has published two collections of his work: Global Model 

Village and Little People in the City. He challenges viewers to find the 

deeper meaning in his work, however the installations are also designed 

for enjoyment on a purely aesthetic level. 

In a world plagued with disease, global warming and inequality, it is 

easy to adopt a pessimistic attitude towards life. By contrast, something 

I find refreshing about Slinkachu’s work is his ability to similarly feature 

moments that make life exciting and sublime – finding a giant ‘sea-monster’ 

shoelace in Fantastic Voyage, or playing on a slide in Wet ‘n’ Wild. 

Although it is tempting to live life following the illuminated path, 

the shadows also hold gems of wisdom if we’d only stop and look. 


LOVE ADVICE WITH... 

KARL MARX 

- The advice column with class - 

Dear Karl, 

It’s my gf’s birthday coming up this week – and I still haven’t decided 

what to buy her! I was thinking something cool like a record player or a 

typewriter with type-set paper, because she digs retro stuff like that. But 

I just don’t know for sure and I want her to like whatever I get so bad! 

Help me, Marx. 

–Steve 

Dear Comrade, 

You have fallen victim to the trap of what I identified in Das Kapital 

as ‘commodity fetishism.’ This is nothing to do with the bizarre sexual 

fetishes petty bourgeois waste their time with today, but instead concerns 

the idea of fetish in the more traditional sense. A fetish is an otherwise 

meaningless object that stands in for something else deeper and more 

meaningful. But remember: no object/fetish can ever fully represent 

what you intend it to. You have been looking for a commodity that 

represents your deeper feelings for your girlfriend, but can you not see 

that whatever you buy could never be quite adequate? Capitalism does 

not care, because whatever you purchase, the mere act of buying serves 

the circulation of commodities and capitalism, while also funnelling your 

money up to the big business marketing such things. What’s wrong with 

taking her to the park for a picnic or writing her a poem? That’s what we 

did in my day. 

–Karl Marx 


53

CULTURE 

BIOSHOCK: INFINITE 

Developer: Irrational Games 

Released: March 26, 2013 

Platforms: PC, Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 

Thomas Wilson 

First, a disclaimer: I haven’t finished Bioshock: Infinite. But that’s not a 

problem since it very quickly raises some issues worth talking about. I’m 

not that fussed if I never see the end – I don’t play games for the story and 

window-dressing, and fundamentally that’s all the team behind Infinite 

is concerned about. It builds to a narrative ending and forgets about the 

stuff in between. 

The problems don’t lie in the gorgeously hollow (sometimes literally) 

visuals of Columbia; a floating, flying city in the sky, where a madman 

called Comstock reigns and where you, the player, must guide Booker 

Dewitt, the protagonist, down narrow streets toward a very personal goal. 

The problems aren’t found in the racial appropriation that litters 

the set pieces with overblown caricatures; the writers handle theme 

upon meaningful theme with neither depth nor finesse, merely providing 

passing images that the player is meant to ponder through their bloodsoaked 

screen. 

And the problems certainly don’t lie in the heavy-handed 

emotional engineering that the designers are swinging for; Half-Life 2 had 

a much more personable and empathetic female AI sidekick ten years ago 

– the amount of drooling over Elizabeth in Infinite is frightening. 

No, the problems lie in the gameplay, or lack thereof. Combat has 

never been a strong point of ‘Shock’ games (System Shock 1 and 2, and 

Bioshock 1 and 2). But the mechanics have become so diluted in this 

iteration that it actually gets in the way of the grand narrative. I fear that 

this is an insidious ploy by Ken Levine, lead writer and creative director 

of Infinite, and others – to make games entirely interactive films: good 

riddance to play. 

Let’s look at a quote from an earlier, more free-thinking Levine: 

“It’s quite different to, say, adventure games, which were the antiemergent 

games. I never liked those, because you knew exactly what 

was going to happen. They were predictable, and I don’t mean that in a 

pejorative sense. I mean literally predictable.” 

How the mighty fall. Infinite is infinitely predictable. Not plot wise 

– the mashed-together gobbledygook about inequality, religious bigotry, 

idealism, idol-ism, debt, racism, war, regret, multiple timelines and 

quantum physics is barely discernible, let alone predictable. It is the game 

and gun play that are easily understood, leading to fire-fights that end up 

repetitive far too quickly. 

Like in the previous Bioshocks, players have access to plasmid 

‘vigors’: genetic power-ups that complement the shooting. These are 

a signature of the series, and yet feel totally generic, almost all having 

the same effect (a crowd-control or a direct damage ability). The most 

interesting would be Undertow, which flings enemies toward you, or off 

edges. Aside from that it’s almost a matter of deciding whether you like 

killing people with electricity, fire or crows. For something that could add 

spice to combat, it’s utterly mundane. 

The other side of combat is, like with any FPS, the guns. And wow, 

what a selection! In fact, the game gives you two of every type (two 

shotguns, two rocket launchers, etc.)! This might be amaze-balls awesome 

if not for two things – you can only carry two guns at a time, and more 

guns mean more upgrades. These play off each other, as you can, for 

example, upgrade your favourite weapon only to discard it when out of 

ammunition/the situation calls for it, and then have to wait until you 

find it lying around again. You need to spend a ton of credits to upgrade 

most weapons, and the vigors also cost a hefty sum for an upgrade. It’s not 

about choice so much as saving. 

The worst part is that it doesn’t matter. All the guns are as 

insignificant and unmemorable as each other, the bullets slapping the 

bad guys until that little red bar is empty. Mini-bosses offer none of 

the thrills of the Big Daddys from Bioshock, merely needing a few extra 

rounds. You’re given a massive arsenal to fight psychotic hoards, but 

there is no feeling behind it, no fear or trepidation. Gone is inventory 

or health management – when you’re low you have two options: Run 

around madly pressing the ‘use’ button to gather health/ammo, or wait 

until the invincible Elizabeth throws you a randomly generated package. 

More guns, more powers, more bonuses, more upgrades, ‘more’ options— 

Infinite is a game of multiple kitchen sinks slammed together, but none of 

them produce clean, drinkable water. 

This could have worked as a big fuck-off CGI movie, and it would 

have had none of the hilarious gaffs and errors that game code inevitably 

brings. While I could go on—and there are many more fallacies to 

criticise—my word count dwindles alongside my patience. I’ll leave you 

with another Levine quote about scenes and story-telling: “You want to 

enter it as late as possible, so you are not spending time on nonsense. You 

want to get out as quickly as possible.” 


RENAISSANCE MAN IN A GAMER’S 

WORLD 

Jake Spicer 

With any media comes a multitude of choices. What should I watch? 

Play? Read? And how long should I spend doing it? I personally find 

video games with elaborate, thematic narratives more compelling - but 

these necessitate more time, requiring me to be more selective. 

It’s hard keeping up with new video game releases. An expensive 

hobby in both money, and time. As far as media goes, video games take 

a serious time investment. A movie requires 2 hours, an album perhaps 

45 minutes. A lot of role playing games (RPGs) demand dozens of hours, 

whereas skill-based games aren’t even necessarily consumption oriented – 

you can spend thousands of hours and still find areas for improvement. If 

we want to keep up to date with the hype, or become very good at a game, 

we need to invest a serious amount of time. 

This brings up a concept that I like to call breadth vs depth. It’s an 

issue that has come up for me repeatedly. When I was younger I would 

listen to album after album after album. Through this process I listened to 

a buttload of music, and my breadth of music knowledge increased dramatically. 

However, with this process of mass consumption, I completely 

ignored the depth of each individual album. I would occasionally read 

along with the lyrics of some songs, but I didn’t invest myself into those 

albums. 

When it comes to books, I’m on the other end of the spectrum. As 

a slow reader, I spend a lot of time with a book. Larger books often take 

months. Conversely, with more depth and time spent, comes less breadth 

of books read. 

To become an expert in something, or to really understand an art 

you need to spend a lot of time with it. The musician who doesn’t listen 

to much music, or the director who doesn’t watch many movies will 

never excel. The Martin Scorcesees, Dave Grohls, and scientists like 

Oliver Sacks, must invest time into their craft. You need to devour your 

medium to fully understand it. 

This can make choosing games difficult. I’ve given up trying to 

keep up to date with big blockbuster games. So many RPGs require you 

to delve into their universes. Recently, I’ve been playing the original 

Bioshock again, in anticipation of the day I’ll have enough money to buy 

the recently released Bioshock: Infinite. Essentially, the first Bioshock is an 

argument against Ayn Rand’s ‘Objectivism’ – moral, rational self-interest 

over all else – exploring the concept of a society governed by those values. 

What’s interesting about the game is the way it incorporates – and 

fails to incorporate – gameplay into its thematic message, with Bioshock 

ultimately failing in it’s aims to allow the player personal freedom in exploring 

self interested objectivism within the game. Clint Hocking, Valve 

employee and former Creative Director of EA, described the failure to 

connect the narrative message and gameplay message as “Ludonarrative 

Dissonance”. 

Replaying Bioshock is an easier alternative than picking up something 

new. I don’t need to cognitively invest as heavily in the world 

creation. But because of this, I can invest more time in other media. 

Most of us don’t want to choose one medium. We want to read 

good books, play good video games, listen to good music – and lots of it. 

The process that is needed is the fine tuning and balancing of breadth 

and depth. To be a renaissance man is to succeed in pushing the boundaries 

of depth and breadth. 


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