Lot's Wife Edition 1 2016

LOT’S WIFE
— EDITION ONE —

CONTENTS
Lot’s Wife is entirely written,
illustrated, edited and
distributed by students, just
like yourself.
If you would like to be
involved, we are always
always always looking for
contributors and volunteers!
STUDENT
7
8
12
13
14
Tips & Tricks for First Years
Top 8 Spaces: Clubs & Societies
How to plan your exchange
(Don’t)
MSA Restructure threatens life of
student union
Office Bearer Reports
SOCIETY
19 What the Flux?
21 Wot’s Life with Donald Trump
22 Let’s talk about education
24 Flüchtlingskrise
26 Malcolm Turnbull:
a leftie love affair
Say hi! Email us at
msa-lotswife@monash.edu,
or come and hang out in
our office:
1st Floor, Campus Centre,
turn right at the MSA desk.
About the cover artist
Ruby Kammoorra
Ruby is an emerging artist
based in the glamorous
slums of Collingwood.
Finally entering the final
year of her BA/BVA double
degree, Ruby has learnt to
apply successful methods of
procrastination to major life
decisions.
For more of Ruby’s work go
to www.rubyjkamm.wix.
com/rubykammoora
SCIENCE
CREATIVE
CULTURE
35 The big screen science of clones 45 The ‘Star Wars’ effect:
and dinosaurs
internet hype culture and
The Force Awakens
37 Beyond 140
38
40
41
43
52
54
56
58
58
How fucking cool is chemistry?
Up all night: the science of
sleep deprivation
The skinny on gluten-free diets
Puzzles: Science Crossword
A deal with the devil:
a festival memoir
Photo Essay: Suburban Dreams
Old Bones
Amidst Apples & Thyme
JK Dress up
46
48
50
51
Race to the end of the world:
Averting anti-Asian stereotypes
through Armageddon
Most anticipated albums
of 2016
Blackstar: David Bowie’s
last album
BONUS
29
Undying: Parasocial
relationships and the nature
of celebrity
Pull-out Calendar/Poster
Lot’s Wife | 3

EDITORIAL
EDITORS
DESIGN
Timothy Newport
Carina Florea
Lisa Healy
Natalie Ng
SUB EDITORS
STUDENT
SOCIETY
Tricia Ong
Jermaine Doh
Rajat Lal
Matthew Edwards
Ishana Srivastava-Khan
Maddy Luke
SCIENCE
CULTURE
CREATIVE
Kinto Behr
Kathy Zhang
Mevani Amarasinghe
Lachlan Liesfield
Layla Homewood
Melissa Ferndando
Amber Davis
Audrey El-Osta
Sarah Kay
© Lot’s Wife 2016, Monash University Clayton, Victoria
As you read this paper you are on Aboriginal land. We at
Lot’s Wife recognise the Wurundjeri and Boon Wurrung
peoples of the Kulin Nations as the historical and rightful
owners and custodians of the lands and waters on which
this newspaper is produced. The land was stolen and
sovereignty was never ceded.
Lot’s Wife condemns and will not publish any material
that is racist, sexist, queerphobic, ableist or discriminatory
in any nature. The views expressed herein are those of
the attributed writers and do not necessarily reflect the
views of the editors or the MSA. All writing and artwork
remains the property of the producers and must not be
reproduced without their written consent.
4 | Lot’s Wife
TIMOTHY NEWPORT
If you’re reading this, congratulations! You made it
past all the construction, renovation and “renewal”
Monash is undertaking to a Lot’s Wife stand! You
now hold in your hands your very own student magazine:
full of fun, facts, and frankly a fuckton of words,
all written by students just like yourself.
Over 50 talented and attractive people have
been hard at work over their summer break, mashing
words together, putting brush to canvas, and staying
up late staring at screens, all in the service of bringing
you some amazing content to read on the toilet.
Or the bus. Or in that lecture (yes I mean you).
I really hope you’re having an awesome time
at Monash, whether you’re a first, second or sixth
year. The first month back is always a shitshow, but
it’ll pick up. The university isn’t all bad, except for
that one lecturer (not you, don’t worry), and even
if they are, Lot’s Wife is here for you in your time of
need.
Like right now. You really needed something to read,
right? Right?
Of course I’m right, I’m always right.
Except right now, because I’m on the left.
Whoops.

CARINA FLOREA
It’s not everyday that someone gives you the chance
to make a magazine, yet for some odd reason it
landed in our not so trusty hands. And with great
power, comes great responsibility, which is why we
felt it in our best interest to create a pretty magazine
that can keep you company on those long bus rides
home or when there’s lousy smarch weather outside.
Be sure to check out the tear-out poster/calendar
and hang it above your bed or colour it in as you
wish.
But I’ve got to admit, making a magazine
is hard work and we couldn’t of done it without
the help of our newly made team of beautiful and
amazing writers, illustrators and designers. Specifically,
Natalie, our designer who had to put up with
our terrible singing in the office for days on end, our
sub-editors and illustrators who have worked so hard
to help put this thing together, and just everyone
who came in during the holidays to make this thing
happen!
LISA HEALY
Hey sxc chicas and papas. I promise you, I initially
had something real good written up. I swear. Alas,
like everything else that manages to exist in my
world, I have left this to the night before the final
copy is due and am struggling to fill the void that is
currently my empty editorial space.
So here I am. Look, I’m not going to sugar
coat it: making a magazine is really fucking hard. It’s
almost as hard as boiling an egg properly (all those
‘perfect egg in 2 minute’ recipes are kidding themselves)
or sitting through an episode of Making a
Murderer without wanting to scream at the TV every
time an Avery says ‘yeah’.
In reality, thanks to a whole lot of uber-brilliant
people who chose to come to Clayton on their
holidays – you know who you are - this pillar of salt
(aka Edith) was able to remain upright and extra
salty. Right now, I feel like I’m delivering an Oscar
speech and the orchestra is ready to drown me out
but before I go, please read Lot’s lots. I’m about 81%
sure Sanders would approve and 19% sure Clinton
would hate it.
xo
Lot’s Wife | 5

Tips &
tricks for
first years
by Brian Shih &
George Kopelis
illustration by Angus Marion

STUDENT
Picture this: you are about to stride into a new
stage of life, a stage in which you have to
learn new things, study independently, and write
essays or reports that require perfect citing and
referencing. This transition may be overwhelming,
however, we’ve complied a list of the best tips and
tricks that you can follow to bolster your confidence
and performance so you can make the most of your
first year at university!
Get A Map
Turning up late to your first tutorial because you
couldn’t find the room is embarrassing – take it from
us – so plan ahead and figure out where on campus
your classes are. Download the Lost on Campus app
or the Monash app to make sense of all the building
numbers and addresses. If you’re still lost in the
middle of endless corridors, ask someone who looks
like they are walking purposefully for directions.
Study On Campus
Classes don’t take up a whole lot of time at
university, so make good use of your spare time
and do some work on campus. The Louis Matheson
Library is the go-to study space at Clayton, but with
the refurbishment works all year, some sections may
be closed.
If you want to do some serious study, check out the
quiet upper floors of the Law Library. More interested
in chatting with friends and not getting work done?
The Hargrave- Andrew Library is perfect for that.
Brian says: There are plenty of alternative
study areas, like the informal open space lounges in
the Menzies building or the secluded John Medley
library in the Campus Centre.
to a whole range of discounted food and other
goodies on and off campus. (20% off everything at
Sir John’s Bar adds up after a semester).
George says: Before buying your textbooks,
have a look online on Monash Marketplace to see
if anyone is selling your book second hand and at a
much more affordable price. Make sure it’s the right
edition though.
Practice Your Signature
You’ll be signing up to plenty of clubs during O Week,
which is a great time to find groups that match your
interests. MSA cards give you free membership to
most clubs on campus. Don’t feel obligated to go to
every event if you sign up and feel free to drop out of
any group if you find them too boring/too rowdy/too
time consuming.
Brian says: I started uni in the middle of 2015,
and with no major exhibitions for clubs and societies
in July, I missed out on being properly introduced to a
handful of clubs and societies. Take the time during
O Week to find like-minded people outside of lectures
and tutorials because it’s a great chance to do so.
University is a place where you learn and
create memories. Do not be afraid of making
mistakes and always remember that you are not
alone. There are plenty of resources at Monash to
reach out to. Now, embrace all challenges and start
exploring!
Actually Go To Lectures
You’ll struggle to get a seat in week one. However,
by the mid semester break, half the lecture theatre
will be empty. Keep up your routine and attend your
lectures. Turn them into a social occasion – get your
friends and hang out on the campus lawns or grab
lunch as a group and suddenly you’ll have a reason
to show up every week.
Extreme Couponing
Make your dollar go as far as possible - take
advantage of weekly free/dirt cheap breakfasts and
barbecues organised by the MSA or other clubs and
societies. Carpooling costs $75 per person for a year
and is way cheaper than forking out $400 for a blue
permit. Pick up an MSA Card for $20 and get access
Lot’s Wife | 7

STUDENT
TOP 8 SPACES:
CLUBS & SOCIETIES
MUSLCC
Throughout the years, the Monash University
Sri Lankan Cultural Club (MUSLCC) has played
an intrinsic role in ensuring that a strong social
culture is present throughout university life. As
one of the largest clubs at Monash University
and the largest sub-continental student
organisation in Victoria, MUSLCC will no
doubt exceed the standards and expectations
in 2016! Events to look forward to in the
coming year include a themed clubbing event,
Amnesia, a brand new Monash Comedy Night,
the traditional Hoppers & Kothu Night, the
classic Rehab and Relapse After Exam Parties
and many more!
PLN
The Progressive Law Network (PLN) is
dedicated to encouraging law students,
and other students passionate about social
justice, and to utilise their degrees to effect
positive social change. So come along and get
involved in our events, which provide a forum
for an exchange of views and opinions about
new developments in alternative careers,
environmental law, human rights law and other
social justice-related issues, including guest
speakers who are experts in their field! Focus
areas for this year's presentations include
prison abolition and radicalised policing, drug
law reform, and the law around the world, with
a focus on Australia including a discussion of
First Nation people's status and rights.
8 | Lot’s Wife

STUDENT
LingSoc
The Linguistics Society (affectionately known as
LingSoc) is for anyone interested in the whos, whats,
whys and what-the-hells of language. LingSoc runs
regular meetings and trivia nights where you can
get to know others who do give a damn about the
Oxford comma, have a place to ask those difficult
grammar questions, practice IPA or simply fan-girl
over Kate Burridge. Find out more about LingSoc @
MonashLingSoc or on our Facebook page.
VGen
VGen (Vision Generation) is World Vision's
Australia's youth movement, a community of
young people aiming to influence government,
business and society to do their fair share to
end extreme poverty and social injustice. We
are planning to run events such as movie nights
to promote Fairtrade and ethical consumerism,
events focused on Campaign for Australian Aid,
and an event for the 40-Hour Famine.
ESA
The Education Students' Association (ESA) promotes
social interaction for the hundreds of education
students at Monash University. The club also has
a strong focus on building students' confidence to
teach or go into the education workforce. We are
hoping to boost our social sector of the club much
more in 2016 and encourage people to get to know
each other between the different year levels of
education degrees.
Continued...
Lot’s Wife | 9

STUDENT
MUMS
Monash University Mining Society (MUMS) is
a group with the aim to promote and gather
interest around mining and its affiliated
industries. Our main goal is to connect
students with industry professionals and each
other. The biggest event planned for 2016 is
the inaugural mining camp.
MUIS
Monash University Islamic Society (MUIS)
represents and supports the needs of Muslim
students on campus. We organise a variety
of social and spiritual events throughout the
year to create an environment where we can
foster new relations and assist each other. This
year we will be running BBQs, iftars (meal for
breaking the fast in the month of Ramadan),
lectures by renowned speakers, sports events,
halaqas (study circles) and much more!
MONASH MUGGLES
If you’re still waiting for your Hogwarts letter to
arrive, wishing that Hagrid will bust down your
door to tell you “YER A WIZARD”, and craving that
little bit of magic on campus, then the Monash
Muggles is the club for you! From events like
our annual Triwizard Yule Ball (co-hosted with
Melbourne and La Trobe Universities) and Harry
Potter trivia, to movie nights, game nights, and
Quidditch, the Monash Muggles is the perfect
club for anyone, regardless whether they’ve
only seen the films, to the most dedicated (and
tattooed) Harry Potter fan. For any inquiries, send
us an owl at monashmuggles@monashclubs.org
or visit us in our O-Week stall.
10 | Lot’s Wife

ADVERTORIAL
SummerFest
SUMMERFEST
March 15 -23
MARCH 15 - 23
AUSTRALIAN GRAND PRIX STIMULATOR
TUESDAY 15th of March
10-3 pm at Northern Plaza
Do you have inspirations to become the next Mark Webber?
Come down to the Northern Plaza between 10 and 3 on
Tuesday to try your hand at the popular F1 simulator! It will sure
get to your heart racing!
BEACH PARTY
Tuesday 15th March
9pm- late at Menzies Lawn
It’s back! Monash presents the hottest event ever that
reaches the sand dunes of Clayton campus: Beach Party!
With glow sticks, beach inflatables and DJs, the hottest
party of the year kicks off at 9pm, and entry is strictly
before 10pm! Grab yours at the MSA office today!
COLLEGE CLASH
Wednesday 16th March, 5pm-late at
Monash Sport
Monash Sport is back again to host the
highly successful College Clash! Cheer
on your favourite as, On Campus Halls of
Residence battle it out against students from
the 6 Non Residential Colleges in a range of
events and activities!
SUMMER FIESTA
Thursday 17th March, 4pm-8pm at Northern Plaza
Fun is to be had for all ages when Monash University is transformed
into a summer themed carnival featuring a range of
games and activities!
What’s on?
•Rock climbing wall
•Jumping castles
•Market stalls
•Food trucks
•Face painting
•Summer Classic movies
DIVE IN CINEMA
Friday 18th March, 9pm-12am at Monash Sport
For the first time at Monash there will be a “Dive In” movie
at the Doug Ellis swimming pool. Bring your bathers and
friends, and enjoy a summer classic, as you float around.
This event has limited numbers so check out Monash
Sport’s website and register!
SUNSETS
Tuesday 23 March, 4pm-1pm, Northern Plaza
and Soundshell
Wind up the end of Summerfest, with Sunsets as
Monash University will be announcing a headliner
and artists, very shortly! With a night filled with
tunes, Melbourne’s finest food trucks and bars, this
isn’t a night to be missed! Watch the SummerFest
event page, for more information!
DINER EN COULEUR
Monday 22 March, 5pm to 9pm, Campus
Green, Caulfield Campus
As SummerFest travels to Caulfield, dress up in
your most “tres chic” colour block outfit, grab your
friends and a picnic basket and come on down as we
celebrate Diner En Couleur for Harmony Day! Keep
your eyes peeled on the SummerFest event page, as
reveal a headliner very shortly!
Lot’s Wife | 11

STUDENT
How to plan
your exchange
( Don’t )
by Layla Homewood
After spending a full year precisely planning a
six-month trip abroad through Europe before
settling down in England for a semester of study,
I can tell you one thing: it turns out that I planned
absolutely nothing.
It was all going to be perfect; I was going to be
the fi rst student in the history of students to have a
hitch-free study abroad. I was going to sail through
with sparse calls to my parents updating them on
my perfect adventure. I was going to be laying stress
free on the beach in Barcelona with no worries
about my upcoming semester because it had all
been expertly coordinated. But when it was the night
before my fl ight and I realised I still had more things
to do than I could count on all my fi ngers and toes, I
started to think, "Maybe there are some things that
just can't be planned".
And you know what? After two months and
several upset calls to my family who recited, "Don't
worry about that, you'll be fi ne,” I realised that it's
okay to not plan some things. In fact, it's more
than okay. It's the fl aws, and mistakes, and tiny
details that you could never prepare for that makes
everything worth the worry.
I know now that my time abroad cannot
be summed up in one grand sweep of fl awless
memories. I don't want to remember my six months
as a long string of activities and attractions. I don't
want to remember doing, I want to remember being.
All those faults and mistakes and things that made
me want to pull my hair out are what make every
memory of being abroad special to me.
So when I take a moment to think about my
whole time away and remember all of the things
that I have achieved, I don't care about having
perfectly coordinated my bus schedule, or fi nding the
highest rated gelato restaurant in Rome. Instead, I
remember what the sky looked like as it cried thick
sheets of snow, and I remember the cobbled streets
lined with massive trees, shedding their fl aming
leaves.
Instead of worrying about how to get from A
to B, I want to remember the rush of running late
to an amazing gig and the sheer thrill that pulsed
through me when I realised I would make it. The
things that aren't planned, that aren't accounted
for, can stimulate the rawest feelings from places
deep inside. I could never have expected that, on
the fi rst day it snowed in my town, I would neglect
my upcoming exams and spend the evening utterly
elated as I built snowmen with my fl atmates. I never
could have planned to skip my lectures on the
rarely sunny days, and fi nd my way over to nearby
towns where I ended up reading books and drinking
creamy hot chocolates.
As it turns out, after all the planning and
booking and organisation that went in to my sixmonth
adventure, the things that I remember
the most are the ones that I never planned on
remembering. So, for anyone out there who's
planning their own study abroad trip, here's my one
word of advice: Don't.
(For more information on studying abroad, visit the Monash
Travel Abroad Office, or check out http://www.monash.edu/
study-abroad)
12 | Lot’s Wife

OPINION
by Stephen Encisco
Over the summer break - traditionally the
time when universities do things that they
don’t want you to notice - the Monash Student
Association started making one of the most dramatic
restructures it has ever seen.
This restructure is expected to make
redundant the most important staffing role within
the organisation: the Finance Manager. This position
provides expert analysis and advice in all financial
matters. They ensure the financial accountability
of elected representatives of the union. They try
to prevent financial mismanagement. They sign all
cheques. This role was always intended to be a thorn
in the side of student politicians who have little
financial literacy, but are in charge of multi-million
dollar budgets. It is the only position expected to be
made redundant.
It is worth considering an unlikely, but not
inconceivable scenario (it happened at Melbourne
Uni in 2004): a right wing faction gets elected to a
union and they decide to invest in property in order
that the union may cash in on international students.
But remember these are financially illiterate
students, and the deal is a terrible one which would
bankrupt the union. Everyone seems to know this,
except the executive who thinks it’s a grand idea.
This is what happens: all hell breaks loose,
and the union gets liquidated.
The MSA has attempted to circumvent
corruption by having a highly competent Finance
Manager, who is a member of CPA Australia, and
is able to provide highly technical and professional
financial advice. Remember as well, the position
countersigns all cheques.
There is no other staff member - whether that
is Finance office staff, the Executive Officer, or the
proposed General Services Manager role - who has
the financial knowledge or analytical skills to replace
the current Finance Manager.
Why would the current administration want
to knife someone who has dedicated over twenty
years to ensuring the MSA can be the best it can be?
At best, it is a very strange situation, and it is little
wonder that union membership among MSA staff
has spiked in recent months.
This has brought up bad memories for
Wholefoods, who still remember the effects
of imposed restructuring. By 2012, the GO!
administration of the MSA had spent a number of
years aggressively attacking Wholefoods - the home
of their political rivals - to the point of near collapse.
They hired incompetent managers who banned
volunteers, banned the Wholefoods Collective that
had managed the restaurant since 1977, and ran
the restaurant to losses of nearly $100,000. Under
these restructures, this could be happening again.
Since the Finance Manager – with a long-term
institutional memory, and respect for the Collective
- began providing accurate analysis of Wholefoods’
finances, Wholefoods has been rebuilt into a
financially and culturally strong community. Though
rocky at times, the relationship with the MSA was
rebuilding.
This restructure is the kind of thing that
students can quickly lose faith in student unions
for. It is also the kind of thing that gives rightwing
governments, with petty grudges against
student unions, the excuse to bring in anti-student
organisation legislation.
Lot’s Wife | 13

OFFICE BEARER REPORTS
MSA PRESIDENT ABBY STAPLETON
Hello and welcome back to Monash! The Monash Student Association is here for you, and is made
up of a bunch of passionate activists who campaign and fight for the welfare of students. We run
heaps of events throughout semester, as well as advocate for students on a national level. There
are a ton of different departments to get involved in, and we are always out and about talking to
students about issues facing young people in today’s society, so please don’t be shy! Let us know
what you’re interested in! I hope you are all enjoying O-week and are keen to settle in, and I think
you’ll soon find that attending university is much more than going to a lecture or a lab – there is a
vibrant and diverse campus culture to get involved in! abigail.stapleton@monash.edu
TREASURER MATILDA GREY
Ahoy, Monash friends! Hope you’re all bubbly and excited to be here in 2016! As treasurer, it is
my job to keep track of the MSA financials, to ensure money is being spent effectively, and to
assist Office Bearers launch their campaigns and projects. I’m extremely excited to be involved
in the running of new events and campaigns this year, talking to and engaging students in the
MSA. Orientation Week is just around the corner, quickly followed by MSA Members Week,
and we’re working hard to ensure they’ll be great, so y’all have plenty to look forward to from
us! Please come to us if you’re having any issues whatsoever, make sure you join some clubs
and societies during O-Week, and purchase an MSA card so that you can reap the benefits of
supporting your student union. matilda.grey@monash.edu
SECRETARY GLENN DONAHOO
Hello everyone and welcome to Monash in 2016! I’m Glenn, and I’m your secretary for this
year. So far this year I’ve been busy helping our many and varied departments organise their
plans for the year, so they get to run successful campaigns and enjoyable events. Along with
this, I’ve been helping to organise orientation week to ensure everyone’s year starts off the
best possible way! Make sure you come by, pick up a MSA Card for $20, join some clubs,
pick up some free food, grab tickets to some of our events and find out what’s going on in
the MSA this year. I’ve also been helping organise MSA Members Week in week 2, so look
out for all of the great stuff we have planned that week for our members. If you want to find
out anything more, just shoot me an email at glenn.donahoo@monash.edu
EDUCATION (ACADEMIC AFFAIRS)
Over the the summer break, we have been organising student representatives to sit on panels
in the Academic Progress Committee (APC) hearings for each faculty. These students provide
a student perspective and assist in making recommendations for learning and support
services. This year, we are continuing to campaign for a university-wide opt-out policy for
lecture recordings, which will coincide with the Equal Access campaign in conjunction with
the Disabilities and Carers Department. If you are keen to become involved with Academic
Affairs Department, applications for our Academic Affairs Committee (AAC) will be open until
18 March 2016. The AAC assists our department by developing and organising projects or
campaigns around academic issues. If you have any issues with your course, teaching staff or
assessment policies, feel free to contact either of us, or come by the Academic Affairs Office in
the MSA for a chat. Jessica Stone: jessica.stone@monash.edu, Daniel Ffrench-Mullen: daniel.
ffrench-mullen@monash.edu
DISABILITIES & CARERS
EDUCATION (PUBLIC AFFAIRS)
Hola monash peeps! This year Education Public Affairs will be run by us, the lovely Sumudu
and Sulaiman. We are a department that is centred on fighting for issues and campaigns
concerning current Monash students, and enacting a change via the force of student’s voices.
So far we’ve been working hard on our Counter-Faculty Handbook, which is a rundown of units
based by student reviews and their ratings. It’s an honest look into units from a student’s
perspective, so look out for it in O-week. This year we’re excited to be starting a major campaign
for a People of Colour Collective and a department within the MSA encouraging students
of ethnic backgrounds to get involved, and to have a welcoming space to discuss their own
experiences and issues. You can become a part of the team advocating for students issues
by either coming into our office located in the MSA, or our stall at O-week, as well as by joining
the Monash Education Action Group on Facebook and coming along to our meetings. We look
forward to seeing you around campus. msa-education@monash.edu
The beginning of this year has been both busy and uneventful – which, given there aren’t
many students around, isn’t that much of a surprise. As the Disabilities and Carers department
is so new, most of our energy has actually been towards getting the office sorted and as
best as equipped as possible, and trying to come up with ideas and plans for the next year.
Our main focus here in D&C will be building a collective and getting people to know that we
actually exist – as chances are, this may even be the first time you’re reading anything about
MSA’s Disability and Carer’s department. If it is, please do stay on the lookout for the events
and campaigns we have planned for next year, as we’re hoping to build a solid foundation for
our department, and start a culture that supports carers and people with disabilities as best
we can! viv.stewart@monash.edu
14 | Lot’s Wife

OFFICE BEARER REPORTS
WELFARE
QUEER
So far the Monash Queer department have been running around getting everything organized
for the start of semester. We have been starting to organize events while stocking up on (safe
sex) supplies and provisions to get us through the year. To start the year off, we organized an
MQD contingent to participate in the Pride March with, followed by a picnic in the park to hang
out with some other university contingents. Currently we’re preparing for the start of semester
one, kicking off the year with our regular events such as Queer Morning Tea (11am-1pm Tuesday)
and Queer Beers (4pm-6pm Wednesday), as well as a very special Queer Trivia Night, that
will be thrown at Wholefoods with the aim to start getting people involved in the department.
O-week is a great time for us to meet all the new students who might for the first time be free
to be involved in a queer community, so we’re very excited about the weeks to come. Any
queer or questioning students can join our secret facebook page or receive our newsletter by
emailing msa-queer@monash.edu, or messaging either the public facebook page: MSA Queer,
or one of your two fabulous queer officers Amy Grimmer or Martinus Kraan.
Hey yo wazzup? We, Brendan and Tim, have been working terribly hard to organise events and
resources for the exciting year to come. So far Brendan has been devising and setting up a
new system for resourcing pre-loved textbooks for our Book Fair that will be held during Week
2 of the Semester - all very tech friendly for the modern age in which we live. Tim has been
trying to bring preparations for Free Food Mondays together so we can all enjoy a lovely meal
from Week 1. Furthermore, we have almost finished updating the Survival Guide for 2016
- a few new tips n trick thrown in there. Lastly we’re hoping to release a new and improved
Student Cookery Bookery, filled with cheap and filling meals to tantalise your taste buds.
We’re pumped up like a new basketball for the year ahead, hoping we can help make Monash
memorable for the right reasons. msa-welfare@monash.edu
ACTIVITIES
Monash University is known for its social calendar and we want to continue that reputation.
This year the MSA Activities department is run by Katie and Ben, and we run the majority of
your campus events and parties! In semester one alone, we are running a trivia night AND
a Luna Park event during O-Week which an all ages event that allows you to go on unlimited
rides! During semester, we are also running a boat cruise, an exciting new event and
of course, After Exams Party (AXP). AXP is the biggest university event, with 2000 students
having a massive party to celebrate no more exams! Jump on Facebook and join the MSA Activities
page to receive updates and come by the office to say hi! msa-activities@monash.edu
ENVIRONMENT AND SOCIAL JUSTICE
The Environment and Social Justice department (run by Tess and Kim) is your hub for activism
and left-wing politics at Monash. We have spent the summer protesting the Liberal governments
deportation of 267 refugees to the Nauru detention centre, supporting the firefighters
protest for better safety conditions and wages, and rallying for action on climate change. Now
that semester has started we hope to involve many more students in progressive activism!
Come rally with us on the 27th February in Bendigo against the launch of a racist anti-Muslim
political party called 'Fortitude'. We need to show these bigots and the rest of the world that
there are more anti-racists than there are racists, and not let their attacks on refugees and
Muslims go unchallenged. You can find us at our information stall in the orientation week
festival, or Like "MSA Environment and Social Justice Collective" on Facebook. msa-enviro@
monash.edu
WOMEN’S
Well hello! I’m Mel! I have been shuffling about getting things ready for the new year, ensuring we have
everything for the Women’s Room including sanitary products, safer-sex supplies and up-to-date resources.
With semester 1 soon underway, the Women’s Department will be running events in the Women’s
Room, including a “Meet the Department” event on Tuesday of Week 1 to welcome students, new
and returning and morning teas on Tuesdays. Our Weekly Discussion groups will be continuing, every
Wednesday 1-3pm, and plans are also being put in place to get to the Network of Women Students
Australia (NOWSA) Conference in Sydney. O-week is a great time for women-identifying students to get
involved in the department and meet a bunch of new people! If you wish to hear more from us, attend
NOWSA, or get involved. You can email msa-womens@monash.edu or contact the Facebook page: MSA
Women’s Department. As always, come on in to the Women’s Room on level 1 of the campus centre
and say hi!
INDIGENOUS
The MSA Indigenous department exists to support Indigenous students on campus by providing
support for and raising awareness about Indigenous issues. We maintain open and continuous
communication with students who are interested in being involved with MSA activities
and events, as well as encouraging positive engagement in the Indigenous student
lounge. This year’s office bearers - Samantha Hyde and Jayden Crozier - are committed to the
enhancement of university life for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander students through the
creation and promotion of support networks. It is the intention of this year’s OBs to work closely
with other departments so as to achieve common goals, to reach out to community leaders
to collaborate and discuss the importance of Indigenous identity within Australia and to run
some amazing social events – bringing together the student community.
msa-indigenous@monash.edu
Lot’s Wife | 15

Do one thing
Contribute to the sustainability of your campus.
• Ride your bike, take the bus, or walk to campus
• Use a reusable coffee cup or water bottle
• Recycle your waste
• Eat vegetarian
• Switch off and save enegery
It’s up to you. What one thing will you do?
facebook.com/monashgreen

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Monash Bikeshare
fun - healthy - convenient - sustainable - affordable - flexible
A new fleet of share bikes on the Clayton
campus. Three membership options.
Get around campus. Ride to the local shops.
Meet up with friends. Or just ride for fun!
monashbikeshare.com

illustration by Julia Pillai

SOCIETY
What
the
Flux?
by Julia Pillai
Lots of weird ads come up on my news feed.
Sometimes, there are advertisements telling
me that if I arrive without a visa I’ll never be able to
settle in Australia, which is a shame. Other times,
it’s sneaky ‘work for ASIO’ advertisements, which
make me contemplate giving everything up to pursue
my childhood dream of becoming a spy. Until, that
is, I came to the shattering realisation that working
for ASIO would probably lead me to stopping pesky
people like me from settling in Australia.
One time, an advertisement with a logo of
little colourful triangles, with an ‘f’ in the middle
popped up on my newsfeed. Another one, with the
same logo, had a graphic of a hipster-y guy looking
enlightened, and another one of a bunch of young
people sitting down and looking at a sunset. From
these visuals, these ads screamed tech start-up,
or perhaps a travel organisation. However, the ‘f’ in
the logo stands for Flux; a new Australian political
party founded by Max Kaye and Nathan Spataro.
The tech start-up feel doesn’t go away. Maybe I’m
swayed slightly by Kaye’s background in IT, his
citation of Bitcoin founder Satoshi Nakamoto as an
influence for Flux, and his very particular analogies
that he uses to answer my questions: describing
Flux working “…like an app that runs in parliament.
Normal apps let you do something with your phone
you couldn’t do before; Flux lets us do things in
parliament we couldn’t do before.”
What makes this party interesting is that
after contacting Kaye, asking many questions, and
receiving very thorough responses, I cannot answer
the standard questions that people usually ask
about political parties. Questions like what their
platform and ideology is, what are they aiming
to specifically achieve, and what communities in
particular are they appealing to, are irrelevant in the
context of Flux. Some microparties that fit a niche
audience, such as the Motoring Enthusiast Party,
or a party with a specific platform, such as the Sex
Party which have a platform based on libertarianism,
sex worker rights and secularism. Flux, in the crudest
of terms, has a populist platform. But compared to
the Palmer United Party, a microparty that in 2013
many people were asking the same “what do they
want to do?” questions, Flux has a distinctly usergenerated
feel, rather than the charisma bolstered
campaigning of PUP.
While they are, in some senses, a populist
microparty, Flux is a conventional entity in Australian
politics, even if its methods are unorthodox.
Flux’s platform relies on getting candidates
elected into parliament, like any other party.
However, when elected, members of parliament or
senators do not act in an autonomous manner; every
vote that they make would be decided by a vote of
Flux members. With every bill brought to parliament
there is a voting system within Flux including an
initial vote, then an opportunity to swap votes and
confer with other Flux members, then a final vote on
how the senator or Member of Parliament should
vote. This, in theory, flattens hierarchy within the
party. However, there could be pitfalls. Members of
Parliament and senators are, in theory, supposed
Lot’s Wife | 19

SOCIETY
to work for the seat they serve; what would happen
if people in the electorate overwhelmingly disagree
with the view that the Flux member must vote
for? Where does the loyalty lie: to Flux or to the
electorate? What if a Flux member in Parliament or
in the Senate goes rogue?
Can we really rely on members of parliament
to be bridled in this way?
Other surprising aspects of Flux include
their allowance of its members being a member of
another political party simultaneously. “We haven’t
talked to any other parties about our multi-party
policy,” Kaye explains, “it comes down to the AEC
rules for registration. As long as someone hasn’t
helped another party register recently, we’re happy
to have their support I don’t really see it as anything
different to, say, dual citizenship.” Flux is also
incredibility ambitious, or at least speaks in an
ambitious way about their aims. Terms like ‘upgrade
democracy’ and ‘democracy reimagined’ have
featured in their advertisements and their website.
Kaye tells me that he and Spataro “...believe Flux
has an incredible potential to help humanity. Not
only is good democracy hard to implement, even
the highly regarded democracies suffer from low
approval ratings and constant dissatisfaction. We
want to create a democracy that doesn’t suffer from
the same diseases. Because of the potential for
good Flux presents, it is a challenge we are unwilling
to postpone.”
So who exactly is joining Flux, and what issues
are these early members beginning to bring up?
“Most of our members are Gen X or older,
so if anything this slightly confirms the myth that
millennials and students are largely apathetic and
disenfranchised,” Kaye explains. “This also lines
up with my personal experience. We hope that Flux
can offer them an outlet to help reinvigorate real
political interaction instead of sideline activism. That
said, there’s also a lot of emotion in student political
groups, as if political motivations are really unevenly
distributed. This leads to a dichotomy, which either
promotes apathy, or almost extremism to the point of
violence, neither of which are healthy in the long run.
I really hope that means both groups are just looking
for a way to express themselves, and so far haven’t
found it.”
The issues that are being brought up: “Some
are disenfranchised Liberal National Party voters
[that have expressed interest] in a National Disability
Insurance Scheme, some are far left and express
concerns about human rights and refugees, some
are IT specialists and are dismayed at the quality of
legislation around the internet and cryptography.”
Kaye reiterates: “We really have had an incredibly
diverse set of people respond. There is one thing
they all have in common though: the current system
isn’t good enough.”
If there is anything that particularly surprises
me about Flux, what really makes it interesting,
is that it’s experimenting with new ideas, and it’s
hopeful. Yes, it may not happen this election year,
there’s no guarantee that these ideas will work in
action. But it feels like a reaction to the last 6-7
years of turbulent Australian politics, where voters do
not feel like they have power over who is running the
country. Max Kaye says this volatility is a symptom of
a larger problem.
“Volatility in itself isn’t a problem in the
same way as, say, CFCs and the ozone layer were
a problem. Rather it is a problem in the same way
that UV rays are: it’s harmful but simply making it
go away isn’t how we can solve the problem. The
problem of bad governance has never been solved
before, and thus we need a solution that hasn’t been
tried before: Flux is that solution.”
20 | Lot’s Wife

Q & A
WOT’S LIFE?
with Donald Trump
Got a burning question that only random celebrities
can provide an answer to? Wot’s Life has you
covered. This month’s Agony Aunt took time out of
his noble presidential campaign to help readers fi nd
their inner winner.
“Yo Trumpinator, shit’s rough these days and you
seem like a successful guy. What’s the best way to
earn money?” - Looking for a Buck
Oh, it’s so simple. You know, my dad, he used to
tell me “no”. You know, “you can’t do this, you can’t
do that”... My whole life really has been a no. It
hasn’t been easy for me. It has NOT been easy for
me. Okay? People told me my career wouldn’t work
out. They told me a campaign wouldn’t work out.
But look at me now. And all it took was a small loan
of a million dollars from my father. Now, a million
dollars isn’t much compared to what I’ve built. But,
you know, ask your dad for a million dollars and see
where it gets you. Because I guarantee you it is the
key to success.
“Mr. Trump, your wig-I mean hair always looks so
unbelievably fabulous. How should I style my hair?”
--I Too Am Not Balding
Well, you know, as everybody knows, I do not wear
a wig. Okay? I do not wear a wig. These people out
there, you know, a tremendous amount of people,
they can’t accept the truth. They just can’t believe it.
Look at my hair. My hair may not be perfect but it’s
mine… You know, I’ve had some people, they call me
and they say, “Donald, your hair is ridiculous.” I’m
too busy making America great again, okay? I don’t
have time for a good hairstyle. Next question.
“Hey, I have been having some troubles with my
boyfriend and I hope you could give me some advice.
So we’ve been a sexually adventurous couple for a
long time, we’ve used all the toys, we once had sex
in my parents bed narrowly escaping them walking
in on us, we’ve done it in a waterfall, we’ve tried all
the kinky things, literally all of them. But the problem
is it’s just been so dull recently, I mean I haven’t
been able to really get there, if you know what I’m
saying. I asked him if he’d be cool if we did some
more extreme stuff, more fi vesomes. He was a tad
apprehensive, he thought my sexual ambitions were
a bit too extreme, and he thought that my views of
not inviting Mexicans and Muslims to our orgies was
a bit insensitive, racist. He hasn’t been too pleased
by my suggestions, I just want to make sex great
again. I don’t know what to do with my boyfriend.
Please help me out. “ -- Carl
...You’re both fi red.
Tweet your questions
for our celebrity guests:
@LotsWifeMag
Lot’s Wife | 21

ESSAY
Let’s talk
about education
By Anna Zhang
In the realm of
education, January
means different
things for different
people.
22 | Lot’s Wife

SOCIETY
According to the Independent Schools
Council of Australia (ISCA), January is that
time of year when financial institutions begin
bombarding parents with calls to save for their
children’s future education costs. These estimated
fees are often thousands of dollars more than
what parents are reasonably expected to pay, often
representing the “upper ranges” of independent
schooling. Some education providers suggest
that it can cost up to one million dollars to put an
individual child through non-government schooling.
However, the ISCA feel that these estimates are
misleading, arguing that their “data shows that
in 2014 the median Australian metropolitan
Independent school fee was $5,887 per annum”,
a more ‘reasonable’ estimate as to what parents
should expect to pay per year for their children’s
education.
Regardless of whether you’re willing to pay
the $5,887 or the million dollars, and regardless of
your perspectives on public or private education,
there is surely one thing that we can all agree on:
education is important. Why? Because it is a proven
vehicle to combating poverty and inequality. In fact,
it is often argued that education is one of the most
important investments that a country can make for
its children and for its future. In relation to the 17
Global Goals, education is crucial to the success
of each and every one of them. The Global Goals,
otherwise known as the Sustainable Development
Goals (SDGs), came into being in 2015 by the UN.
Together, the goals make a “17-point plan to end
poverty, halt climate change and fight injustice and
inequality”. Signed by 193 governments, including
our own, the Global Goals are part of the 15-year
‘2030 Agenda’ that succeeded the Millennium
Development Goals.
Although non-binding, there has been
encouraging enthusiasm by different sectors in
society – enthusiasm that has been described as
‘unprecedented’ in some regards. This enthusiasm
is welcomed as the Global Goals are only words
in a document at the end of the day, and cannot
achieve themselves. Global Goal 4 (Quality
Education) will most certainly need support, as
education will play an important role in achieving
the 17 goals. Global Goal 4 is all about ‘ensur[ing]
inclusive and equitable quality education and
promot[ing] lifelong learning opportunities for
all’. Its importance to other the Global Goals can
be highlighted through the following example.
In relation to Global Goal 3 (Good Health &
Wellbeing), effective education will mean that more
people are aware of preventable health risks, as
well as ways to improve their health and wellbeing.
In other words, better-educated people will be less
vulnerable to health risks. Therefore education can
help achieve good health and wellbeing.
Aside from the importance of education in
achieving the 17 Global Goals, we cannot argue
that everyone should have access to quality
education and the freedom to be able to pursue
lifelong learning opportunities if they so choose.
However, not everyone in the world enjoys this
fundamental right of education, often because
they are born into situations beyond their control.
Situations such as being born into fragile and
conflict-affected areas, or in families or countries
that do not have the capacity to support a young
person through schooling, impede that person’s
right to an education.
If you are able to read this, then you are
fortunate to not be one of the 774 million adults
in the world who are illiterate. This fact may mean
that you won’t find yourself living in poverty, or if
you do, you may have the ability to lift yourself out
of poverty. With each year of schooling, you may
find that your income increases. Your children may
not experience malnutrition or be at risk to adverse
health effects. You may have the capacity to adapt
to new technologies and contribute to local or
global innovation and infrastructure. In fact, your
education may allow you to help create sustainable
cities and communities, and be an advocate for not
only the human species, but also for other fragile
ecosystems. You may find yourself being a promoter
of peace and justice, or simply participating in the
democratic process by exercising your civil rights.
Whilst enjoying some or all of these possibilities,
you could also work in creating partnerships to
achieve our Global Goals.
Truly, let’s talk about education, because
everyone deserves the possibility of living a life of
empowerment. After all, universal education won’t
achieve itself. And neither will the Global Goals.
Lot’s Wife | 23

OPINION
Flüchtlingskrise
By Ben Neve
Illustration by Ruby Kammoora
In Germany the so called ‘Flüchtlingskrise’
(refugee crisis) is well and truly still in full swing.
For a while in Australia, our screens were filled
every night with images of refugees on their way
to Germany, walking the majority of the marathon
journey from Lesbos, Greece to Munich. These kinds
of pictures appear far less frequently nowadays,
which might lead one to believe that things have
calmed down; but they most certainly have not.
Apart from the continuing mass influx of people,
there came on New Year’s Eve the shocking news
that 1016 women had allegedly been subjected to
sexual advances or even sexual assault in Cologne
at the hands of – by accounts – a large group of
Arab/North African migrants. Many politicians latch
on to such stories to demonstrate the danger of such
a large intake of refugees and the strain it places on
screening and application processes. Such events,
as portrayed in the media do not bode well for the
reputation of incoming refugees. To complicate
matters even further the governing party in the
German state of Bavaria, where most of the refugees
arrive, is the Christian Social Union (CSU), a relatively
conservative political group whose opinions on the
issue fly right in the face of Angela Merkel’s hitherto
‘open door’ policy.
For the past five weeks I have been staying
in the German village of Kaufugen, which is close
to a medium sized city called Kassel in the centre
of Germany. I’ve seen what most definitely were
recently arrived refugees, I’ve seen economic
migrants, and I’ve had the chance to talk to many
24 | Lot’s Wife

SOCIETY
Germans about the issue. The opinions are as
varied as they are numerous, but one aspect which
did strike me was that most of the voices seem to
become gradually more negative as time goes on.
Every day in the local newspaper or in the Spiegel-
Online news app, the coverage is relentless; a day
hasn’t gone by yet where a report on refugees, their
integration into German society, or the problems
arising from their arrival wasn’t front page or
inside cover. For the first time in a long time, many
Germans are beginning to question their leader
Angela Merkel, who until the refugee issue turned
sour had seemed to be as strong as ever. Thus, as
an Aussie who will live abroad for the next twelve
months on exchange I thought it would be fitting
to present an outsider’s perspective on a deeply
German issue.
The first important step in breaking down
this complex topic into understandable chunks is to
breakdown some of the stereotypes we might have
of the Germans. There is no doubt that Germany,
like so many other liberal western democracies,
has developed a reputation as a welcoming
nation for refugees. But aspects such as religion
and population distribution don’t always occur to
foreigners straight away, yet they are perhaps the
most important. The majority of Germans still live
in village communities, where religion plays a much
more significant role in day to day life. Every 15
minutes the church bells ring to remind you of the
time, an old but important tradition which becomes
even more important on Sunday when almost all
shops are closed. Moreover, the governing party
of which Angela Merkel is the leader is called
the Christian Democratic Union (CDU), and many
members of the centre-left Social Democratic Party
(SPD) retain Judeo-Christian values like their centreright
counterparts in the CDU. For the most part this
has actually worked to the benefit of the refugees,
as values such as tolerance and generosity have
prevailed, but where it becomes less beneficial when
some refugees don’t integrate into society as much
as they could, or retain values incompatible with
modern day Germans.
Most Melbournians studying at Monash
would generally have two stereotypes of the German
people: either a Bavarian in Lederhosen drinking
beer with Aussies at the Oktoberfest, or hipster in
Doc Martens and leather jacket dancing to techno
in a Berlin nightclub. The image of a church-going
villager is not always in the forefront of our minds,
but it is crucial to consider this given that these
refugees hail from equally as strong religious
backgrounds, except that they are Muslim and not
Christian. Over the past few weeks these stereotypes
have dissolved before my own eyes to reveal a much
more complicated religious and cultural landscape.
It’s not as if Germany hasn’t experienced migration
from Muslim countries before. Many Turkish people
arrived here in the 50s and 60s as ‘guest workers’,
but never left and now form the base of what is
Germany’s Muslim community. But the wave of
migrants seen last year and which continues to
come is on a completely different scale. Moreover,
as the Germans have never considered themselves
as a country of immigrants like Australia, America or
Canada, it is harder for many of them to grasp such
a drastic demographic change in terms of people
and religion. In Melbourne one is just as likely to
hear Mandarin on the tram as English, but if you
heard a woman in traditional Muslim hijab and dress
talking to child in Arabic while walking in front of a
1000-year-old German church, it would be hard to
ignore the vast cultural difference.
And if there is one sentiment which all
Germans echo, it’s that Angela Merkel reacted
much too late to the crisis. For a while she was
portrayed as the heroine for refugees coming to
Europe, but once any country accepts 1.2 million
asylum seekers in a calendar year, it becomes
hard to keep up with the sheer scale of processing
every application. While this occurs, most of the
refugees are stuck waiting in limbo, and perhaps this
is maybe why some turn to illegal and despicable
activities as sexual assault. Xenophobia might be on
the rise here, but I think that’s a result of Germans’
frustration with policy makers rather than an innate
form of racism. In the end, I think Germany will catch
up with processing the backlog of applications,
toughen some rules to counter purely economic
migration, and will slowly learn how to integrate such
a vast number of refugees, but perhaps Merkel was
naïve in maintaining an open door policy for so long.
The consequences are felt above all by the German
people, and the refugees trying to escape war and
persecution, because both groups can’t get on with
their lives while so many barriers to integration
remain.
Lot’s Wife | 25

OPINION
Malcolm
Turnbull:
a leftie
love affair
By Ovindu Rajasinghe
Art by Sian Mann
September 14, 2015: Malcolm Turnbull
challenges Tony Abbott for the leadership
of the Liberal Party, and in winning, finally fulfils
his lifelong ambition of becoming Prime Minister.
When the Whips read out the results of the ballot,
a collective sigh of relief could be heard across
the country as ‘Lord Tone’ was consigned to the
ignominy of the backbenches.
The leadership spill was no surprise. It had
been a horror year for the government, up to its
ears in scandal and incompetence, all following the
disastrous 2014 budget. It was also no surprise
that the Liberal Party’s stocks rose astronomically
after Turnbull’s ascension. Two potatoes tied
together loosely by a piece of string could have
been sworn in as Prime Minister, and the Libs
would have received a bounce in the polls.
What was a surprise, was that a man
presiding over an only slightly-less conservative
government has remained so popular into 2016.
I have spoken to committed Labor voters who are
seriously considering voting for Turnbull’s Liberals;
I know intense Greenies who have told me they
might well preference the Libs above Labor this
year. Whilst it is understandable that many in the
moderate right love him, this is unclear: why are
so many progressive voters so enamoured?
Obviously, Malc’s popularity has at least a
small part to do with the stark contrast with the
previous occupant of The Lodge. On a superficial
26 | Lot’s Wife

SOCIETY
“Two potatoes tied
together loosely
by a piece of string
could have been
sworn in as Prime
Minister”
level, Turnbull is an infinitely more polished operator.
The glamorous former journalist, lawyer, and
businessman speaks with a supremely confident and
measured tone, oozing intelligence and charisma.
He doesn’t make stupid PR mistakes like winking
after hearing about the plight of a grandmother
forced to work for a phone sex hotline. He is able
to articulate policy positions without the use of
three word slogans, respecting the intelligence of
the electorate. His public front is the antithesis of
Abbott’s bumbling, awkward presentation.
More importantly, he is a more consultative,
less divisive leader. From the night of the spill, when
the Prime Minister-designate fronted the media, his
focus was markedly different. Rather than stirring up
fear with divisive rhetoric about Australia’s perceived
enemies, we heard that “...there has never been
a more exciting time to be Australian.” Beyond his
rhetoric, Turnbull has also proven to be a much more
adept negotiator, open to compromise. This was
demonstrated in the deal that Turnbull struck with
the Greens to pass tax transparency legislation that
had been bogged down by the Senate crossbench.
But maybe it’s not just Turnbull’s charismatic
and consultative front. Perhaps Turnbull has
been able to steer his party towards more centrist
positions. Perhaps the electorate is looking past
personality politics and like what they see in
Turnbull’s substantive policy views, which are clearly
more progressive than Abbott’s. There are two
factors to consider here.
Firstly, Turnbull is the leader of a party with
powerful conservative factions. Turnbull might hold
progressive views on issues such as climate change,
marriage equality, and the republic, but many of
his party room and cabinet colleagues certainly do
not. Since becoming Prime Minister, the dud Direct
Action policy on climate change has been retained,
the time-wasting plebiscite on marriage equality
is scheduled to go ahead, and the stalled cuts to
education and health in the Senate have not been
dropped. Perhaps Turnbull’s moderate allies will
be able to purge the radical right from his party,
or maybe he will continue to be beholden to the
conservatives. Liberal factional intrigue is murky and
difficult to understand, and there is no guarantee
that Turnbull will come out on top. It is important to
note that, when you vote for the Liberals, you are not
just electing Turnbull, but also a party that has been
hijacked by the likes of Cory Bernardi and Eric Abetz.
Secondly, Turnbull is still a committed believer
in free market libertarianism and his economic views
might not sit well with many progressive voters.
When Turnbull announced his first Cabinet, Small
Business Minister Bruce Bilson was sacked. Bilson
was a strong advocate of an ‘effects test’ which
would strengthen competition law so as to prevent
anti-competitive behaviour from big business, a
reform which has been lauded by the Council of
Small Business Australia. The new Minister, Kelly
O’Dwyer, and Turnbull himself, are reportedly
opposed to the effects test, and it has been put on
the backburner. Turnbull is still very much beholden
to the big end of town.
Turnbull reportedly once stated that he
wanted to be Prime Minister before the age of forty.
When asked which party he wanted to represent,
he famously replied that it didn’t matter. Turnbull is
a man who has worked tirelessly over his incredible
career, making valuable contributions to the law,
media, business, and public life. He has come from
a broken family to amass a fortune that has made
him one of the richest men in Australia. I admire
him, and I can see why so many Australians feel the
same way. But the electorate must ask themselves
whether a man so driven by ambition and hubris
can be trusted to deliver on what he has stood for,
or whether he will be held hostage by the rest of his
party so he can cling to his job.
Malcolm Turnbull is a welcome change from
Tony Abbott. His appointment ended the lunacy of
the previous administration, and might challenge
the parties of the left to a genuine contest of
ideas rather than a ‘Shorten vs Abbott’ slogan
writing competition. If Turnbull’s Liberals genuinely
represent your beliefs and values, then by all
means vote for them. But don’t let the Tories sneak
in the back door because you like the look of the
salesman. The party is bigger than the leader, and
the leader is not all that he seems.
Lot’s Wife | 27

WEEK 1
MSA Women’s ‘Meet
the Department’
Queer Morning Tea
Quee
SAS/ME
p
WEEK 2
Free Food Monday
International
Women’s Day
MSA W
Weekly
Que
WEEK 3
Free Food Monday
“Snags against
University Cuts”
BBQ
Quee
WEEK 4
Summerfest
March for Refugees
Mexican Monday
Summerfest
Free Food Monday
SummerFest
Biomed industry
night
Summ
Easter Monday
Easter Tuesday

Beers
SS beach
arty
The rise of racism
forum
First year camps
(SAS,MSS,BIO)
omen’s
Discussion
Foam party
er Beers
Summerfest
Summerfest
Summerfest
r Beers
erFest
Protest for the rights
of Timor Leste
MID SEMESTER
BREAK
Good Friday
MID SEMESTER
BREAK ENDS
TEAR ME
OUT!
April already? Turn over
for a beautiful poster by
Monica Hunt!

PROTEST AGAINST
EDUCATION CUTS

Illustration by Sigrid Lange

SCIENCE
The big screen
science of clones
and dinosaurs
by Chris Allen
In 2015, the film and television industry
renewed its love for cloning and genetic
modification. This was best shown in
the success of the dinosaur adventure,
Jurassic World. But just how accurate are
these blockbuster portrayals of science?
Jurassic World
How were the dinosaurs in the Jurassic film universe
rescued from extinction? All the answers, it seems,
are to be found in the first instalment of the
franchise, Jurassic Park. A short welcome video on
Jurassic Park informs the film’s protagonists that
the genetic information required for cloning was
discovered in prehistoric mosquitoes that had been
preserved in tree sap. It just so happens that the
mozzies fed upon sweet dinosaur blood, millions and
millions of years ago. That sounds pretty exciting and
plausible, but, unfortunately, it’s unlikely to happen
in the real world.
Attempts to find preserved, ancient DNA in
insects has not been successful. First of all, the
Cretaceous-Paleogene extinction event, which took
away our dinosaurs, occurred sixty-six million years
before present day. Good luck finding any bugs that
old, still floating around in tree sap.
Second, in studies of much more modern
insects, the DNA fragments to be found are short in
length. This was shown in 2013, when a preserved
bee that could not have been older than sixty
was sequenced. This study used next-generation
genetic methods, such as the quick and accurate
sequencing technique, Roche 454. Researchers
could only express low confidence in their DNA
matches with microfloral DNA and bee mitochondria
DNA. The Jurassic insect method is highly unlikely.
Why dream of a Jurassic World dinosaur,
when scientists haven’t even resurrected a Woolly
Mammoth yet? The Mammoth only became extinct
in the relatively recent Pleistocene epoch. An
indirect cloning breakthrough occurred last year,
when Current Biology published a conservation
research study sequencing the Mammoth’s whole
genome. While an explicable concern for the safety
of elephant surrogate mothers will probably prevent
further developments, cloning a Mammoth is far
more achievable than a Tyrannosaurus rex.
If you disregard everything I’ve just said about
dinosaurs being an unrealistic goal, and pretend
a plethora of dinosaur genomes are in human
possession, would it be possible for scientists to
engineer a genetic hybrid as whacked up as the
film’s villainous Indominus rex?
For the uninitiated, the Indominus is a
smooshing together of the Tyrannosaurus rex
genome with a few, choice species that include a
Velociraptor species, a Tree frog, a cuttlefish and
a pit viper. The film’s scientists mention ‘advances
in gene splicing’ as the key to breeding hybrids.
However, cutting up genes is not really a barrier to
creating monster hybrids, thanks to all the natural
cut sites in a genome. An expected barrier would be
manipulating these distantly-related genomes into
a transgenic organism that will survive development
- this seems particularly challenging while there are
no extant dinosaurs to guide experimentation.
There is some good news on the hybrid
modification front. Many experiments have been
successful in taking a single or a few known genes
interest from one species to another. Researchers
have created transgenic organisms as strange as
glowing, fluro-green kittens, and as ground-breaking
as pigs with organs to be used in human organ
transplants. Perhaps an Indominus rex isn’t that
radical after all.
Rating:
Lot’s Wife | 35

SCIENCE
Orphan Black
Human reproductive cloning has never been publicly
completed. Yet in the world of Orphan Black, Sarah
Manning (Tatiana Maslany) learns that she is one
of many clones created in 1984. That’s right, forget
Dolly the sheep of 1993, and forget Idaho Gem, the
famed racing mule of 2003; Orphan Black creators
Graeme Manson and John Fawcett suggest that the
80s was where the race to human cloning began
and ended.
Over the course of last year’s third season
(massive spoiler alert), Sarah Manning discovers
that along with the female clones she’s met, her
family extends to a heap of brother clones (Ari
Millen). Things get even more extreme when the
show reveals that these male and female clones
aren’t just siblings, their DNA is derived from the
exact same person!
According to the explanation offered in the
show, an individual may absorb their twin in the
womb, and thereby carry two independent cell lines.
This individual would have cell nuclei that could
bring forth both male and female clones.
As it happens, Orphan Black’s logic is more than just
possible: it’s proven science.
Vanishing twin syndrome (VTS) is a
scientifically documented phenomenon, whereby a
twin appears to disappear from the uterus. This is
often due to one twin being absorbed into the other.
If the two merging cell lines were from identical
twins, there would be no noticeable difference
between the DNA in cells. But when non-identical
twins are merged, the individual would carry two
distinct cell lines. They would become what is termed
a tetragametic chimera. If non-identical twins of
different sexes were merged, the resulting individual
could indeed produce male and female clones,
exactly as it is suggested in Orphan Black’s third
season. ‘
Rating:
It’s All About Love
The most annoying depictions of cloning and genetic
modification in film occur as what some might call
‘genetics lite’. This is when science is used merely
as an aesthetic trick to distract the audience. In my
mind, one of the worst offenders in this category is
the 2003 romance drama, It’s All About Love.
The film follows a champion ice skater (Claire
Danes) as she slips into a long-winded conspiracy.
Her family plans to murder her, and install an ice
skating clone replica.
Unlike in Orphan Black¸ the science of the
cloning in It’s All About Love is incredibly thin. The
audience is told that human clones can be created
by playing around with the chemicals inside the
human brain. This isn’t even close to being accurate.
The reproductive cloning process involves
Somatic Cell Nuclear Transfer (SCNT), where a
somatic cell (body cell) nucleus from a donor
specimen is fused into a host egg cell (oocyte). The
oocyte will reprogram the donated nucleus into a
primitive, undifferentiated form, and henceforth the
clone begins prenatal development like a regular
embryo. There is no cheap shortcut for cloning.
It’s All About Love gets even more silly. In an
absurd scene, a television reporter announces that
alongside human heart issues and inversed weather
patterns around the globe, the laws of gravity have
been messing up above Eastern Africa, causing
hundreds of people to fly off into space. I don’t need
to go into why all that makes no sense.
To sit through all of It’s All About Love is
not something I would recommend. The scientific
references in the film were all tokenistic – perhaps
they were thrown in last. If you think that your soft
spot for Claire Danes or Joaquin Phoenix will improve
the film, let me tell you, it sadly does not. I only wish
that I could go back to spend that hour and a half of
my life differently, perhaps by reading ‘Theoretical
Astrophysics for Dummies’ or watching Jurassic Park.
Rating:
36 | Lot’s Wife

SCIENCE
Beyond 140
by Emma Simpkin
If intelligence is, as Stephen Hawking suggests,
the ability to adapt to change, there appears
little evidence for it on Twitter. The social networking
service was subject to severe criticism after
rumours it may introduce 10, 000 character tweets
by the end of this financial quarter.
While computer scientists, social media
consultants and economists curiously pondered the
consequences of 10K tweets (internally referred
to as the ‘Beyond 140’ project) a global majority of
‘Twitterati’ clung to their 140 character cages and
howled.
Hot debate over lengthening the character
limit of a tweet might seem trivial, but illustrates
a highly pervasive attitude surrounding language.
Anti-10K sentiment highlights a belief in an inverse
relationship between lengthiness of writing or
speech and its overall substance.
Simply put, the shorter our words are, and
the fewer we use, the more effective and indefinably
better our writing will be.
When Twitter’s CEO Jack Dorsey announced
the Beyond 140 project, he praised the limit for
inspiring ‘creativity and brevity’. Dorsey declared
Twitter wouldn’t lose its ultimate beauty: the ability
to convey information in short bursts.
Brevity may be attractive in today’s time-poor
society, but belief restriction breeds skill was a
mantra for writers long before Twitter. Style books,
grammars, and financial constraints on space in
journalism and publishing cemented the idea that
succinctness was the ultimate expression of good
writing. Literary icons such as Twain, Hemmingway
and Orwell were known for views on downsizing
language, and Greek philosopher Callimachus is
attributed with saying ‘Big Book, Big Evil’ as early as
300BC.
Yet does an increase in length really correlate
with a decrease in value?
Cognitively speaking, this thinking has an
understandable basis. Linguistic and psychological
research repeatedly finds longer sentences more
difficult to parse. These lengthier sentences
are more likely to involve complex grammatical
structures because, generally, they possess more
clauses. Layers of clauses in complex sentences
build a higher density of information that is harder
for the human mind to process.
Likewise, being overly talkative is pinpointed
in psychological studies as potentially damaging
to making positive first impressions. Through the
lens of linguistics. many words for ‘wordiness’ have
fallen from use. Verbosity, loquacity, effusiveness,
garrulousness and prolixity may sound passingly
familiar but are unlikely to appear in everyday
conversation. Interestingly, these words are
more likely to appear near negative adjectives
than others describing concise language, when
databases compiled from real-world usage are
examined.
Yet we regularly hear and read abstract and
complicated sentences. Grammatical complexity
exists outside of Proust and Austen, in everything
from terms and conditions to parking signage.
While some complex sentences are lengthy, many
easily scoot under the 140-character count. Railing
against removing character limits isn’t purely an
issue of intelligibility, nor even a matter of stylistic
choice.
Effects of commercialization and
globalization can’t be downplayed when we insist
on turning up our noses at lengthiness. Our
century’s demands are blamed for pushing timestarved
individuals towards short snappy prose, in
easy-to-digest formats. Shorter writing is viewed
as economical, efficient and clearer: highly prized
qualities in the modern age.
While linguists, psychologists and
Twitter ‘royalty’ have yet to conclude if there is
a relationship between language length and
substance, valid arguments exist in each camp of
the 10K tweet debate. The character increase may
make the microblogging platform more cohesive. It
will certainly keep traffic on Twitter by erasing the
need to link elsewhere. But it may ignore demands
of Twitter’s user base, and risk angering those who
equate brevity with creativity.
(3365 characters.)
Lot’s Wife | 37

INTERVIEW
“How fucking cool
is chemistry?”
by Grace Wang and Anagi
Wickremasinghe
Photography by
Grace Wang
Working in chemistry isn’t just for squares.
We spoke with musician and Magic: The
Gathering player RICKI WILCOX about
fashion, chemistry, and identifying with
Hans Moleman.
So Ricki, what’s your job at Monash?
I’m working with the 1 st , 2 nd and 3 rd year
Chemistry crew. At the moment I’m just doing some
casual work, but over the last few months I’ve
demonstrated first year classes (I actually started a
band with a few of my students!), I’ve designed and
presented some chemical experiments with my best
friend for some John Monash Science students that
had come from all around the world, and have just
been doing odd jobs that needed to be done around
the chemistry department.
What inspired you to pursue chemistry?
It actually wasn’t until very late into high
school that I realized I wanted to do chemistry, in
fact in Year 10, when I was filling in my VCE forms, I
didn’t even list chemistry!
It wasn’t until Year 11 when I actually delved
into chemistry in more depth that I fell in love with it.
I play a card game called Magic: The Gathering, and
I love this game because it’s a system. The game
has rules and restrictions that each player has to
follow in order to come out victorious, and chemistry
is a lot like that. There are the physical laws that you
38 | Lot’s Wife

SCIENCE
need to follow, in order to transform your starting
materials into your products. I really enjoy the idea
of taking something and manipulating or changing
it into something else (and hopefully something of
use!). If I wasn’t doing chemistry right now, I really
have no idea what else I would be doing!
So what areas of chemistry are you especially
interested in?
I have always liked organic chemistry the
most, because it just seems so magical. The idea
of changing matter feels to me like something that
shouldn’t be able to be done, and our ability to not
only do this, but also understand it, fascinates me! I
was actually at work today and saw my boss reading
over what I think was some different ways you could
use nucleophilic organolithium reagents. I had a
quick look over the reaction schemes, and I just said
to her: “How fucking cool is chemistry?”
My Honours project is focusing on making
small molecule mimics of peptides and proteins,
which we’ve isolated from the venom of a particular
marine cone snake. The reason we’re looking at this
specific type of molecule is because it can bind to
certain calcium channels and aid in the treatment of
neuropathic pain.
My job will be to design and refine the
synthesis of molecules that we think are of particular
importance and test their overall effectiveness as a
drug. If all goes well and we make a molecule with
a good IC 50
value (basically, how effective the drug
is), we are able to do a few more tests and have it
enter the clinical testing phase, which hopefully ends
up with our group getting some results published in
scientific journals!
We’ve noticed that you have a lovely head of hair.
How did your hair get like that?
[Laughs] When people ask me how I get my
hair like I do, I tell them I just go “like this” and
shake my head a little bit. Truth be told, there is a
step that I fail to mention. It has to be teased first
with a brush. I personally use the fabulous tangle
teaser, if you don’t own one, I recommend picking
one up. Once teased, it can be shaken around a little
to make it as big as possible. But this is just our little
secret, right?
We’re loving your outfit today! Could you tell us more
about your style?
Thank you! Honestly, what I’m wearing today
was literally just what I picked up off my floor... I love
patterns and colours, so I try to incorporate that into
what I wear. I guess it’s hard for me to say I have a
particular “style”, if I like something I’ll wear it. I like
the idea of being comfortable in your own skin, so if
an outfit makes me feel good, then I’ll wear it without
caring what anyone’s going to say about it.
What’s your favourite TV show?
I have to say my all-time favourite TV show is
The Simpsons. The show is ridiculous, and the fact
that the story can fail to progress for 10-15 minutes,
but every piece of dialogue is gold, shows that the
writers are no doubt at the top of their class.
Who’s your favourite character on the show?
Hands-down Hans (Ralph Melish) Moleman.
The show wouldn’t be the same without him. He is
a character that I identify strongly with, and every
scene he’s in is perfect.
Would you like to describe the character of Hans?
I’d probably describe Hans as a very
unlucky elderly man, whose problems with alcohol
have caused him to be confused about his age.
Although the majority of the time, as viewers, we
see Moleman’s many misfortunes, he still seems
to power through and be able to look at life on the
bright side, and that’s a lesson that I think is of great
importance.
Finally, could you give us your best chemistry joke?
I don’t really have any jokes or puns, but
rather an anecdote. I was hanging out with my mate
Argon a few weeks ago and I heard this really funny
chemistry joke earlier in the day. I told him, but he
didn’t react...
Check our full interview with Ricki
on lotswife.com.au
Lot’s Wife | 39

SCIENCE
Up all night:
The science
of sleep
deprivation
by Tracy Chen
New year, new you. This year is still full of
opportunity. Your hopes and dreams are yet
to be dashed by cruel reality. Sleep deprivation will
be a thing of the past. You’ll get your full eight hours
a day, and you definitely won’t pull an all-nighter to
finish that one assignment (and presentation, and
written test, and don’t forget the lab in 12 hours).
But let’s be nostalgic for a moment. Let’s reminisce
about all those days, buried in the history of the
person you are no longer, spent trying to function
with little to no sleep.
After the first night, there’s the hyperactivity;
it’s the only thing keeping you upright other than
caffeine. Maybe you’ve finished with a minute to
spare and you’re high on life, or you’ve missed
the deadline and you just don’t give a fuck. Either
way, the world is your very funny oyster – you’re
unstoppable. Armed with poor impulse control and
less than stellar decision making skills, you’re all set
to start the day. Who needs drugs when you have
sleep deprivation? They say that you’re pretty much
drunk when you’re sleep deprived anyway.
Your short and long term memory are
shot. The part of your brain that’s meant to think
and make good decisions, the prefrontal cortex,
isn’t exactly working. So you’re free of those
restrictive inhibitions and your idea of how to react
appropriately is becoming increasingly skewed. You
laugh in the face of danger, you laugh at everything.
There’s still a part of your brain telling you that you’re
probably making a bad decision, but you’re too drunk
off sleep deprivation to care.
That is, until the artificial energy runs dry.
You’re crashing.
You’re tired, you’re hungry, you’re cold. The
sleep deprivation is slowly turning you into a corpse
(and maybe that’s preferable to this cursed, sleep
deprived life). The thing is, your body temperature
isn’t any lower than usual. It’s more like you’re less
able to tolerate the cold. You lose heat more rapidly
and your body just doesn’t know how to warm itself
back up. You’re pretty sure you’re slowly dying;
scientists are pretty sure it’s just because there’s
less blood flow to the skin.
But do you know what will probably help?
Food. Because food always helps, right? If you eat
enough carbs and fats, you’ll trick your body into
thinking that it has enough sustenance to function
without sleeping again. You eat until you’re bloated
and still keep going after that. At this point, the
repetitive action of bringing food to your mouth and
chewing is comforting and you’re too tired to do
anything else anyway. The hormones that control
appetite and indicate fullness, ghrelin and leptin,
keep telling you to eat while failing to give the
signal to stop. Your brain and your stomach aren’t
communicating. Your haywire sleeping patterns are
having a bit of a domino effect. It’s an endless cycle.
So maybe sleep deprivation is a bit addictive
and your sleeps are more like naps these days.
The hyperactive energy is wearing off, and the
hyperactive energy is wearing off and the hyp—
The days are long and it’s hard to focus. Time
stretches out in front of you like an endless expanse
and you’re pretty sure you’re never going to feel well
rested again.
Twelve torturous weeks, multiple breakdowns
and countless tears later, it’s over. You can sleep.
Your body can shut down - but it won’t. It’s like
some sort of twisted withdrawal symptom where
your circadian rhythm is so fucked that you can only
sleep 2 hours at a time. It’s horrible. But it’s okay, It
definitely won’t happen this year.
40 | Lot’s Wife

The skinny on
gluten-free diets
SCIENCE
By Anastasia Goutzoulas
Where cutting out fat was once considered
the silver bullet for perfect health, a
gluten-free diet is now seen as a cure-all.
But what is gluten, really? And is it all
that bad for you?
WHAT IS GLUTEN?
Chemically speaking, gluten is a network of
two protein types, glutenin and gliadin. In dry fl ours,
these exist separately. Adding water makes these
proteins form chemical links (disulphide bonds) with
one another, and kneading or mixing forms even
more bonds. These bonds make the resulting gluten
network strong and elastic.
Gluten can be found in foods containing wheat,
barley and rye. This is a really broad category, and
includes pasta, noodles, condiments, many prepackaged
snacks, and beer.
TO EAT OR NOT TO EAT?
Coeliac disease?
Coeliac disease is an autoimmune disease
that presents as a response to the gliadin protein in
gluten in the small intestine of a sensitive person.
That is, the body of a coeliac sufferer mounts an
immune response to the presence of gliadin in
the small intestine, in the same way that it would
initiate an immune response to fi ght off an infection.
It produces antibodies that attack the gliadin
molecule, an otherwise harmless protein.
As a result, coeliacs suffer infl ammation
and damage to the lining of the small intestine.
Coeliac disease can be diagnosed by a doctor after
a blood test to check for antibodies known as tissue
transglutaminase antibodies (tTG-IgA), as well as a
series of other tests for patients who may be at risk
of returning a false positive on the tTG-IgA test (such
as Type 1 diabetics and people with rheumatoid
arthritis, both also autoimmune diseases). This is
followed up by a biopsy to see if the lining of your
small intestine is damaged.
For coeliacs, gluten really is that bad, at any
level. No cheat meals allowed here – even trace
Lot’s Wife | 41

SCIENCE
amounts can be enough to bring on symptoms like
nausea, vomiting, skin rashes, and mouth ulcers.
Continuing to eat gluten-containing products can
further inflame the small intestine, stopping it from
absorbing nutrients from anything else you eat,
which can lead to nutrient deficiencies like anaemia.
Not a coeliac?
If you don’t have coeliac disease, but bread
makes you bloat, it may not be gluten at all.
According to a study published in Gastroenterology
in 2013, the true culprit may be FODMAPs
(Fermentable Oligosaccharides, Disaccharides,
Monosaccharides and Polyols). These little guys are
a group of simple carbs found in a number of foods,
like wheat, milk, onions and garlic. FODMAPs can
either ferment in your large intestine, making you
bloat, or pull water into your bowels, which can make
things move a little faster than you’d probably like.
The researchers behind the paper studied 37
participants who displayed irritable bowel syndrome
symptoms (constipation, gas and diarrhoea,)
and believed gluten to be the cause of them. The
subjects were placed on a low-FODMAP diet for 2
weeks, then placed on either a high-gluten, lowgluten
or placebo (no gluten) diet for one week to
give any possible symptoms a chance to develop.
After the first two weeks, symptoms decreased
for everyone involved. They then got worse for all
participants in that final week, regardless of what
diet they were on.
While this study shows great results for a
low-FODMAP diet, and takes the blame off gluten,
it should be treated as nutrition ‘breakthroughs’ in
general should - with a healthy dose of scepticism.
Due to the small sample size and the fact that it
can be difficult to control for every possible variable
(like participants’ stress levels, or how much they
exercise) it can be hard to establish any sort of
causal relationship.
So, gluten’s not all bad. But is it actually any
good? Gluten in itself is almost pure protein, hence
its occasional use as an imitation meat. However, it
lacks the vitamins and minerals that meat, fish and
legumes can provide. So, it’s pretty good if all you’re
interested in is adding to your gains, but if you’re
looking for meat substitutes for every day, it won’t
give your body what it needs.
GLUTEN-FREE FOODS
Foods that are naturally gluten-free include
potatoes, rice, corn, fresh meats, fruits and
vegetables. These may or may not be labelled glutenfree
on the supermarket shelf, but they naturally
contain no gluten and are safe for a coeliac to eat.
Supermarkets are now full of gluten-free
versions of packaged foods, like instant noodles,
pizzas and biscuits. It’s easy enough to believe that
these are better for you than their gluten-containing
alternatives, since they can be found in the health
foods aisle of your supermarket, and their packaging
is littered with tick motifs (so officially healthy!),
pictures of leaves (so close to nature!) and phrases
like ‘naturally good’ or ‘superfood’ (so utterly
meaningless!).
These health claims don’t amount to much,
and unless you’re a coeliac or allergic to wheat,
a product’s gluten-free labelling is no indication
that it’s any good for you. A chocolate muffin is a
chocolate muffin, whether it contains gluten or not.
All in all, whether it’s being demonised or
fiercely defended, gluten is even more overrated
than The Great Gatsby. So, if you aren’t a coeliac
sufferer, and you heed your grandmother’s advice
about eating well (Eat more vegetables. Don’t put
something in your mouth if you can’t pronounce it.
Drink plenty of water. Sriracha can make anything
taste good), then neither the presence nor absence
of gluten in your diet will do you any real nutritional
harm. By the time biology and chemistry have
caught up with researching the food crazes we’re all
about now, the foodie universe will have moved on
from gluten anyway. We’ll probably all be losing our
minds over the weight-loss benefits of a completely
chemical-free diet by then.
42 | Lot’s Wife

PUZZLES
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9
10 11 12 13
14
15 16
17
19 20
18
21
22 23 24 25
26
27 28
29 30
31 32
33
34
35
ACROSS
ACROSS
1. Organelle responsible for energy production
1. Organelle 8. Cells enabling responsible vision for energy in the production dark/low light
8. Cells 10.German enabling Physicist vision in the famous dark/low for light his Theory of Relativity (Last
10.German Physicist famous for his Theory of Relativity (Last Name)
Name)
13. Most abundant element in the universe
14. 13. Swedish Most Inventor abundant (Last element Name) in the universe
15. 14. Marie Swedish Currie coined Inventor this (Last term Name)
17. 15. A type Marie of scan Currie commonly coined employed this termin hospitals
18 Unit 17. A to type measure of scan temperature commonly employed in hospitals
19.
18
End
Unit
product
to measure
of iron oxidation
temperature
22. Class of organic compounds
24. 19. Short End newly product synthesised of iron fragments oxidationof DNA
26. 22. Piece Class of pure of organic metal – usually compounds oblong shaped
27. 24. 6 th planet Short of newly our solar synthesised system fragments of DNA
31 American 26. Piece Chemist of pure and metal dual – Nobel usually Prize oblong winner shaped (Last Name)
30. 27. Chemical 6th planet symbol of for our Gold solar system
33. Constellation in the shape of a hunter
34.
31
The
American
largest object
Chemist
in our
and
solar
dual
system
Nobel Prize winner (Last
35. Name) The muscle that assists in respiration
30. Chemical symbol for Gold
33. Constellation in the shape of a hunter
34. The largest object in our solar system
35. The muscle that assists in respiration
By Rajat Lal
ANSWERS AT LOTSWIFE.COM.AU
DOWN
DOWN
1. 6 x 10 23 atoms is equivalent to this unit of chemistry
2. 1. Chemical 6 x 10 23 symbol atoms is for equivalent Titaniumto this unit of chemistry
3. 2. Chemical symbol for Helium Titanium
4.
3.
Our
Chemical
genetic
symbol
material
for
is
Helium
known as
4. Our genetic material is known as
5. 5. The The closest closest star star to to our our solar solar system system _____ _____ Centauri Centauri
6. 6. A substance A with a pH lower than 77
7. 7. Organelle responsible for extracellular protein secretion
9. 9. Junction of of 22 neurons
11. 11. Final Final phase of cell division
12. Most abundant gas in our atmosphere
12.
13.
Most
Light
abundant
Emitting _____
gas in our atmosphere
13. 16. Light A poorly Emitting understood _____ sub-atomic particle with no net charge and very
16. A small poorly mass understood sub-atomic particle with no net
charge 20. Theory and describing very small movement mass of the Earth’s lithosphere
20. 21. Theory Basic energy describing unit of movement the cell of the Earth’s lithosphere
23. British chemist and X-ray crystallographer whose work contributed to
21. Basic energy unit of the cell
the understanding structure of DNA (First Name)
23. 25. British Chemical chemist symbol and for Potassium X-ray crystallographer iodide whose work
contributed 28. British computer to the understanding scientist whose structure work contributed of DNA (First to cracking the
Name) ENIGMA code machine
25. 29. Chemical Fourth planet symbol of our for solar Potassium system iodide
32. Danish physicist renowned for contribution to atomic structure
28. British computer scientist whose work contributed to
cracking the ENIGMA code machine
29. Fourth planet of our solar system
32. Danish physicist renowned for contribution to atomic
structure
Lot’s Wife | 43

CULTURE
The ‘Star Wars’
Effect: Internet
Hype Culture and
The Force Awakens
by Matthew Edwards
Illustration by Angus Marion

CULTURE
Nowadays, the release of a trailer is an online
event. Studios under pressure to post big
opening weekend sales flood social media sites
with trailers, teasers, and TV spots. It’s not enough
to advertise: for modern franchises, such as the
Marvel Cinematic Universe, trailers have to link
films together, hint at possible story elements, and
provide material for speculation and debate for the
hardcore fans. Trailers cause so much excitement
that they actually end up being better than the
movie they advertise. These trailers are not bad. It’s
important to advertise a movie to get people excited
and get them talking about it so that they’ll come
see it. But this ‘hype culture’ that exists online can
seriously harm movies: as hype builds, expectations
rise to almost impossible levels.
The Force Awakens was probably the most
anticipated movie of the last 10 years. Fans had
grown up on or with the trilogies, and many were
left anxious after the poorly received prequel trilogy,
which threatened to tear apart the fanbase that
director George Lucas had created back in 1977 with
the original Star Wars. The hype for Episode I upon
its announcement was massive, and the film was
praised for its use of CGI. But as the years went by,
and people began to look at the films critically (Star
Wars fans who haven’t seen Red Letter Media’s “Mr.
Plinkett” reviews of the prequels should definitely do
so), the hype faded away, and we were left with the
consensus that the prequels are terrible. So when
The Force Awakens was revealed, and J.J. Abrams
was brought in to direct, people got excited once
again.
And now that it’s in theatres, reactions have
been mixed. The common complaint has been that
Episode VII feels too similar to Episode IV in regards
to the concept, setting, and plot. This is true to an
extent: some plot elements were unnecessary and
brought the film down (Starkiller Base – did we really
need a THIRD Death Star?). But these complaints
are only minor. In spite of its flaws, The Force
Awakens does so much right.
Nearly every franchise in existence has a
formula; Indiana Jones, James Bond, and many
others. Every sequel within that franchise has a
similar formula, with slight changes made to some
elements to make it different from the movie that
preceded it. The keyword is ‘similar’: all of these
movies are pretty much the same thing. The original
trilogy established a formula and it worked. When
George Lucas attempted to deviate from this formula
too much, we got the prequels. J.J. Abrams made the
smart choice when making The Force Awakens to
stick to this formula while changing certain aspects
to keep it fresh and exciting.
There are inversions within The Force
Awakens that make it new, without departing from
the formula. One of the things that makes Star
Wars great is its characters. The space battles are
cool, sure, but Star Wars has always been about
characters and the way they interact with each
other. In Episode IV, you could see the friendship
between Luke Skywalker and Han Solo grow; from
their first encounter in the Mos Eisley cantina,
right until the very end. Each movie built on the
relationships between not just the protagonists, but
with the villains as well. The Force Awakens gets this
right, but does so in an interesting way: the main
characters are essentially inverse versions of the
characters from the original trilogy. Luke dreamed of
leaving his home planet to go on grand adventures;
Rey only wants to return home and has adventure
thrust upon her. Darth Vader was a powerful,
menacing tyrant who mastered the Force; Kylo Ren is
an apprentice who has no control over his emotions.
These familiar but altered elements make the film
interesting while following the Star Wars formula.
Saying the hype surrounding The Force
Awakens was massive would be an understatement.
This movie was being hailed as ‘the second coming’
by various sites. Fans went crazy with theories and
arguments all across the Internet. With Abrams
directing, people believed that Star Wars would
be returned to its former glory. It’s not a perfect
movie, but then again no movie is perfect. It was
my favourite movie of 2015, and it was one of the
first movies in recent years that I actually had fun
watching. The Force Awakens had to live up to
astronomical expectations, when all it had to do was
be a good Star Wars movie. And it was a great Star
Wars movie.
Lot’s Wife | 45

ESSAY
Race to the end of the world:
Averting anti-Asian stereotypes through Armageddon
by Clarissa Kwee
Illustration by Emily Dang
In praise of Netflix’s dramedy Master of None,
Angry Asian Man blogrunner, Phil Yu emailed
VICE, commenting,
“It seems weird to praise a show for just
showing contemporary Asian-American men as
regular guys, but that’s what Aziz Ansari and Alan
Yang have created, and it’s downright revolutionary.”
By implication, no show before has pioneered
the representation of Asians on TV like this one
– portraying them as orthodox, cynical thirtysomethings
meandering through upper middleclass
life in the Big Apple. But Yu speaks the truth:
the ethnic adjustment to a pedestrian formula has
turned the ordinary into the extraordinary. There’s
something wrong with that equation.
Mainstream TV can be ground zero for
stereotyping, especially when it comes to its
Asian constituents. They can be reductionist, onedimensional,
and naturalise a power imbalance
based on race: patronising actual Asians who are
nothing like their televised representatives. There
are definite exceptions, but more often than not,
realistic programs perpetuate stereotypes; it seems
that shows about a world other than our own are
doing it better.
Historically, television has depended on
having a chiefly white, Anglo-Saxon cast as a
prerequisite for mainstream resonance and success.
Usually, ethnic minorities settle for a single, ‘token’
character who bear the burden of representing their
entire race. But universal catastrophe seems to
act as the perfect locale to spotlight the growth of
Asian characters beyond stereotyping. Apocalyptic
television is not the panacea to all Asian stereotypes,
46 | Lot’s Wife

CULTURE
but ultimately, when there’s earth-shaking and hellraising
to deal with, there isn’t enough time to focus
on the colour of somebody’s skin.
Take Kevin Tran from Supernatural. Initially,
Kevin is a diminutive fusion of Asian stereotypes; an
obedient, neurotic cellist consumed with achieving
a perfect SAT score and enrolling in Princeton
University. Yet come season 8, ‘Advanced Placement’
has metamorphosed
They don’t
succumb to the
prejudices of
society, because
there is no society.
into a prophet of God,
who becomes essential
to saving the universe.
Similarly, Monty Green
from The 100 is the only
main character who has
never had a romantic
interest, reinforcing the
idea that leading Asians
don’t get the girl or guy.
Nevertheless, Green
is a diplomatic, sarcastic and exceptionally clever
character, traits that are eons more memorable than
his love life.
The best example of a character obliterating
anti-Asian stereotyping is Glenn Rhee. Before The
Walking Dead, no Asian-American would be identified
as “the beating heart of a show” (Gina McIntyre,
Hero Times) like Steven Yeun is, in his portrayal of
the unassuming, pizza-delivering Michiganite. But six
seasons into the apocalypse, Glenn is lauded as the
“most beloved Asian American male in the U.S” (Ken
Fong, Angry Asian Man), which is no small feat. In a
perverse wasteland where a stolid drumbeat of gory
deaths acts as its hallmark, Yeun’s character serves
as an indispensable warrior on AMC’s juggernaut.
What a polarising conundrum. The people
who believe that Glenn’s life should be spared by the
unsympathetic AMC argue that killing off such a wellrounded,
integral part of the show also means losing
a hero for underrepresented Asians everywhere.
At the same time, Glenn’s treatment on the show
occurs indiscriminately of his race, because Korean
heritage is not significant to the urgency of survival.
So by the same token, nobody on The Walking Dead
is safe, and Asian or not, Glenn is no exception. If
Glenn is truly dead, it would be a testament to the
show’s habitual nihilism, and the loss one of the
strongest ethnic-minority presences on mainstream
TV. But in the event that AMC spares Glenn from an
undead fate, this act could be misread as preserving
diversity only for diversity’s sake.
Regardless of Glenn’s elliptical future, it
seems it takes Armageddon itself to transcend
racial politics. As borderline histrionic as it sounds,
disasters strip humanity of their narrow-mindedness.
Materialistic trifles are diminished in the face of
death. When the earth is in ruins, the ‘stratification’
of ethnic hierarchies disintegrates, and stereotypes
are forced to collapse on themselves. They don’t
succumb to the prejudices of society, because there
is no society. Of course, apocalyptic television is
still privy to accusations
of tokenism, where a
colourful cast is warranted
only to compel diversity.
But we don’t celebrate
these characters because
they’re there, much like
we shouldn’t celebrate
diverse media just
because it exists. What
does warrant celebration
is how the number of
non-stereotypical, holistic and incidentally Asian
characters is proliferating.
So, let’s focus on the not-yet-apocalyptic
2016. Master of None has made a universally
acclaimed breakthrough in the representation
of Asian-Americans on TV. On the show, Ansari’s
character Dev fails to book a role for a sitcom
starring three protagonists because though having
one Indian is ideal, “there can’t be more than one”.
But intentionally, the show flips that tokenistic
mentality on its head to demonstrate that modern TV
can—and will—move past such out-dated paradigms.
Dev and company, modern people of colour,
talk marriage, parents, sex and many topics inbetween.
A Netflix show about Asian men just being
themselves is being hailed as ground-breaking; that
should raise some eyebrows, but perhaps in esteem,
not in discontent.
Master of None is as cognisant about its
role as a pioneer, as it is witty, fresh, and brutally
honest. We’re entering an age where diverse media
is becoming less of an obligation unto political
correctness, and more a sign of genuine racial
equilibrium and representation. Maybe we won’t
need to wait until the end of the world to appreciate
that television is finally catching up to reality.
Lot’s Wife | 47

CULTURE
MOST ANTICIPATED
by Melissa Fernando
2016 is already shaping up to be an eventful year in music. With
Bowie’s departure to the stars, the music world has been left
with shoes that can never be filled. But perhaps what was most
telling was the immense sense of loss and heartache towards the
news of Bowie’s death, demonstrating that music lovers still value
experimentation, self-reinvention and originality. Several artists
are still honouring these musical values, and here’s my list of top
10 most anticipated albums of the year.
MIA - Mahtahdatah
M.I.A’s album Matahdatah was due last year however the anticipation has
crept into 2016, as fans eagerly await her fi fth instalment. With no set
release date, M.I.A has not divulged much information, but thankfully has
released one single, ‘Borders’. M.I.A spent her formative years in 1970’s
Sri Lanka when a bloody civil war between the country’s ethnic divisions
was tearing apart the nation. It’s no surprise then that MIA’s songs have
always been politically charged, and this album seems to be no different.
‘Borders’ speaks about the barriers between cultures and social groups,
which can often lead to injustice and suffering.
Radiohead - TBA
It’s always hard to know what to expect from a Radiohead album. It was
reported that the band began work on their 9th studio album in late 2014.
Now more than a year later, we speculate an album coming out early 2016.
The British rockers released a single ‘Spectre’, which was originally created
for the latest James Bond movie but later went unused. The music has a
dramatic orchestral fl ow, and the brooding overlay of instruments coupled
with Thom Yorke’s tortured falsetto provides fans with a glimpse into the sort
of music the new album would contain.
SIA - This is Acting
Australian singer-songwriter Sia is set to release her 7th studio album on
the 29th of January. This is Acting has an interesting premise as it contains
several songs that Sia wrote for other artists, such as Adele, but were
subsequently rejected. This is Acting could perhaps allude to the fact she
had written these songs from the point of view of the person for which she
was writing, in other words, she was putting on an act. Perhaps this album
is an attempt to take a stab at those who rejected her musicality and to
make these songs her own.
48 | Lot’s Wife
Illustrations by Angus Marion

CULTURE
ALBUMS OF 2016
Drake - Views from the 6
As a rapper who sings, Drake has always had a different sound, constantly
readapting his style to redefi ne hip-hop. It was hinted to be released on
the 6th of January, but he has kept his fans holding their breath, with no
sign of the album as of late January. Drake said he wanted this album to
be important, a statement. Judging from the reception of ‘Hotline Bling’,
the single released from this upcoming album, and the barrage of Internet
memes that followed, fans will be looking forward to other tracks of similar
calibre. We can only hope a February release will be announced soon.
Frank Ocean - Boys Don’t Cry
It’s safe to say Frank Ocean fans have been freaking out for a while. Could
2016 be the year this mysterious enigma comes out of hiding and graces our
presence with a new album? The follow up to Grammy award winning album
Channel Orange has been a long time coming. With little to no media presence,
Ocean fans can only speculate. If Boys Don’t Cry comprises of even half the
magic of Channel Orange, the wait will be well worth it. The timeline of events
concerning BDC is frustrating to say the least. In 2013, Ocean confi rmed he
was working on this album. Then in April 2014, he stated it was nearly fi nished.
He concluded that the album would be released in July 2015, nearly a year
later. July 2015 came and went and now here we are in 2016, with no album,
and no explanation either. Where that album at Frank? Does it even exist? Are
you even still alive?
Matt Corby - Telluric
Gorillaz - TBA
The Gorillaz haven’t released anything since 2010’s Plastic Beach,
so a new album is a long time coming for Gorillaz fans. The prolonged
hiatus which included a falling out between Damon Albarn and Jamie
Hewlett meant a new album looked unlikely. However much to the
public’s surprise, the two have rekindled their relationship and started
working on a new album in September last year. The Gorillaz sound has
evolved since the bright optimistic tunes of Demon Days (2005), opting
for a more cynical, dark sound in Plastic Beach (2010). 6 years on, the
mind boggles over what this album will sound like and the prospective
collaborations that could be involved.
Over the years, Matt Corby has managed to break away from the shackles of
being an ex-idol contestant and after signifi cant hype, Corby’s fi rst studio album
is due to be released on the 11th of March. Telluric means ‘of the Earth,’ and
Corby has said that the natural world, human impact, and interaction would be
the theme of the whole album. This album will feature his two singles ‘Sooth
Lady Wine’ and ‘Monday’, that have already been released and were highly
received by fans.
Lot’s Wife | 49

REVIEW
Blackstar
David Bowie’s last album
by Lachlan Liesfield
Blackstar is an elegy, Bowie’s self-made
epitaph to his own life that spends little
time languishing in reflection, and instead creates
a distinct and indeed exciting sound for this final
album.
It’s fitting that for Blackstar, Bowie, a man
whose sound has continually evolved over the
course of his career, continues his run all the way to
here, providing a jazz inspired and occult infused set
of tracks. While these influences are obvious, they’re
subdued in the mix, as if we’re hearing much of the
instrumentation through a fog.
His aging voice holds a rasp and harshness,
the instrumentation here reflecting this new gravel
to his voice. Rather than trying to recapture those
smooth tones of his younger albums, here tracks
like ‘Tis a Pity She Was a Whore’ and ‘Sue (Or In a
Season of Crime)’ fully embrace these new tones,
providing the most ‘rock’ tracks of Blackstar. Filled
with violent hisses and discordant guitar and sax,
they’re malevolent, heated pieces that capture some
of that anger that Bowie has with his fate.
But the influence of free jazz comes most
clearly on Blackstar’s most well known tracks,
‘Lazarus’ and the titular ‘Blackstar’. ‘Blackstar’, the
albums opening track, is a ten minute occult laden
mixture of sounds with such a diversity of distinct
aspects that each could be treated as its own song.
In the tracks opening minutes, strings provide a
canvas where Bowie’s effect leaden vocal work can
create the imagery of death that permeates the
track.
Blackstar’s second half, while equally
macabre, is lighter musically. A self-referential set
of rhymes with a softer baseline and drums create
a mystic feel, with Bowie moving to the light after
Blackstar’s ‘black magic’ opening. The two halves
complement each other; leaving a track that doesn’t
overstay itself despite is runtime.
‘Lazarus’ is where Bowie gives us his final
persona, and one that could prove to be his most
enduring. It’s a gorgeous track, and the highlight
of the album. It’s the quietest track on Blackstar,
and the most affecting, with a sombre leading
guitar that carries us through the song along with
its straining, muted saxophone. ‘Lazarus’ is where
Bowie most openly talks about his life and its end,
and is the thematic heart of the album. Its lyrics are
simple, but honest, and the instrumentation here is
gorgeously layered in, creating the most coherent
and concentrated atmosphere on the album.
But in its finale (‘I Can’t Give Everything
Away’), with its sweeping strings and wistful
harmonica, we’re given Bowie’s last word. As much
as Blackstar is about Bowie facing his death, ‘I Can’t
Give Everything Away’ is Bowie looking at his life,
holding a reflective feeling that is matched only by its
unexpected cheer, and changes the tone of the final
minutes of the album with a song that’s upbeat and
enjoyable.
Blackstar is a fitting finale for an artist who
has re-imagined and re-defined himself throughout
his career. By continuing to do so even here, Bowie
creates an album that is only better for it.
Illustration by Ceitidh Hopper
50 | Lot’s Wife

CULTURE
Undying:
Parasocial relationships and the
nature of celebrity
by Tracy Chen
Alan Rickman. David Bowie. Maybe you’ve
heard of them? René Angélil, Natalie Cole,
Glenn Frey are a few more, though perhaps they’re
less familiar to you. They are individuals who have
been elevated to household name status for their
achievements, successes or sheer shock value;
they’re revered for their talents but nonetheless
they’re virtual strangers to us. So why do we care
when they die?
The number of us who have had personal
contact with celebrities are small, but many of us
feel saddened by their deaths, even years after. We
have developed a sort of intimacy without really
knowing them, watching them in our living rooms
and bedrooms, making us laugh and cry. You’ve
undoubtedly felt that connection, that feeling of ‘I
really like this person’.
It’s a mimicry of a relationship, a parasocial
relationship that’s totally one-sided, developed
from repeated exposure to their celebrity persona.
Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, these media
personalities have no idea of who you are. But you
feel like you know and understand them. Through
countless hours of watching interviews and trawling
through social media, they become important to you.
You become a fanatic, or less severely, a fan.
These relationships can be used as support
structures when none are available in real life.
Celebrities are undoubtedly inspirational. They
are living proof that the ordinary can become
extraordinary, and that by overcoming struggles and
hardships, perhaps we too can achieve fame and
fortune. They embody a certain idea of greatness
and they are immortalised. Yet even the illusion of
the celebrity becomes mortal when faced with death.
We never thought that celebrities like Alan
Rickman and David Bowie would die, so rare in their
skills and accomplishments. We feel a profound
loss, for despite their cultural legacy, they will never
again be able to create something to inspire and
impact our lives so viscerally. In an era where the
sheer quantity and impermanence of the famous
devalues them, and the title of celebrity is more like
a revolving door, celebrities from days of old seem
few and far between.
Nonetheless, the past is often romanticised
and seen through rose tinted lenses, especially
posthumously. It is of course unkind to speak ill of
the dead, but death has a tendency to wipe clean
the slate and cleanse one of their wrongdoings.
We want to remember those who have passed for
their good qualities. With celebrity figures, whose
achievements are so public and so widespread, it is
unsurprising that despite scandals or indiscretions,
people who we may have subjected to many caveats
and criticisms are now once again at their greatest.
They are only remembered at the pinnacle of their
success.
Lot’s Wife | 51

CREATIVE
A DEAL WITH
THE DEVIL
A FESTIVAL
MEMOIR
by Sophie McNamara
can’t win,” I said. “If I don’t drink today,
“I I’ll feel like shit, but if I do drink today, I’ll
make tomorrow’s hangover even worse”.
“Of course you can’t win,” Nia lamented.
“We’ve made a deal with the devil.”
This small exchange between my friend and
I in the 6am mosh-pit aftermath summarises the
consensus amongst university students when
they attend music festivals. The festival culture
encourages three to five days of disregarding
your body and its needs with excessive drinking,
sleep deprivation and inevitable dehydration. I
spent my New Years Eve at a music festival called
Northern Bass. Numerous drum and bass artists
and thousands of festival attendees congregated
for the event in Mangawhai, a remote town in the
northernmost region of New Zealand.
Kiwi youth adopt a very similar attitude to
drinking and partying to Australians, especially
when the youth in question are university
students celebrating three months of study
freedom. The lineup was nothing impressive to
reflect the extravagant price of tickets, but by the
31st of December all tickets had sold out and
Mangawhai had doubled in population.
52 | Lot’s Wife

CREATIVE
“All I ate the
first day was a
banana, which
I threw up. We
tripped on acid
for five days
in a row.”
People dealt with their nausea and
headaches by continuing to drink as soon as they
crawled out of bed. They dealt with their sleep
deprivation by passing out in the afternoon or by
snorting various substances up their noses in the
early evening. They dealt with their dehydration
and lack of proper appetite by simply accepting
the fact that their health would need to be
overlooked till the event was over.
On the morning of 1st of January it poured
with rain. In fact, about two hours after the
clock struck midnight, it rained for about five
days straight. At some point that day, we needed
to pack up our stuff and carry it up a towering
hill to the car. The longer we left it, the more
difficult it was going to be to get out. We’d had an
amazing New Years Eve, but when I woke up and
realised our dismal fate, I wished I had woken up
anywhere else.
“I’m lying in a pool of water!” Nia yelled
from her tent as the sun rose. Tears ran down
various cheeks as we hauled our wet belongings
up the steep, muddy hill to the car park. Heavy
breathing, painful moaning and the occasional
tactical vomit ensued. The car could barely move
in the swampy ruins and most people simply left
their tents at the campsite amongst the various
wet remnants.
When we eventually arrived back home,
we looked like we had been dragged through a
war zone. The precarious festival culture is not
limited simply to Northern Bass as it is only New
Zealand’s second-most notorious music festival,
while it sits in the shadow of the infamous fiveday
Rhythm and Vines. Recalling her experience
there, a friend of mine Shams says that she
started drinking at 8am. “All I ate the first day
was a banana, which I threw up. We tripped
on acid for five days in a row,” she mentions.
“I accidentally did two tabs on the first night
because I thought I had spat one out, but later I
realized it was in my mouth the whole time and
I was too fucked up to realize that initially. So I
ended up doing two and having an insane trip.”
After destroying ourselves to such an
extent, it begs the question, why do we opt for
this rather than having a normal, one-night
party in the safety of our hometown? Going
to a music festival can be like leaving reality
behind for several days. The clock stops and all
responsibilities are put on hold. Most people
simply let their phone die as contact with the
outside world fades away rapidly. The culture
that surrounds it is intriguing and captivating.
Moreover, going to a New Years festival in a
country like New Zealand or Australia has almost
become a rite of passage for students.
My festival experience taught me some
important things:
1. Hangovers only hurt when you refrain
from drinking the following day.
2. Attending a music festival for more
than three days means you’ll inevitably
destroy your body. The best thing to do is
to not think about it and just embrace the
experience.
3. We made it out alive, and that’s an
achievement itself.
Surviving Northern Bass together brought
us significantly closer. Despite my sore legs, my
sunburnt face, my damaged liver and my empty
wallet, I’m glad I went and gave it go. I’m glad
I did it because if I didn’t, I would be spending
the rest of my university years living with a deep
curiosity and unsatisfied intrigue into what
this disturbingly appealing deal with the devil
actually involves.
Lot’s Wife | 53

PHOTO ESSAY
Suburban Dreams
by Shannon Ly
54 | Lot’s Wife

CREATIVE
Lot’s Wife | 55

POETRY
Old Bones
by Ed Jessop
She was his Delilah:
his blue-eyed
blonde haired
beauty.
She’d only recently moved in with him,
and while she had taken to waking Him up with kisses,
He was busy making a habit of softly singing Queen’s Delilah to her as she fell asleep.
Often, He would cup her head in both hands and pour Himself into the pools of her eyes.
He would whisper – seemingly to Himself – how He loved her.
He went to work each weekday and would often be
reminded of her by the golden hairs which managed to
cling to the folds of His shirt.
He thought of her:
His archaeologist
beauty,
and what findings she would surprise Him with when he came home.
Perhaps it would be another old Pokémon card,
a chipped red monopoly hotel,
or a stuffed toy He’d loved as a kid but had long since forgotten.
She would listen quietly as usual,
wonder bright within her eyes.
She loved that each new item she brought Him would illicit a different response:
a smile, a story.
She eagerly dug deeper.
Mid-August,
her latest discovery had been a luminescent rib – too thick to be avian,
yet too fragile for anything of agriculture.
This time
she watched as the landscape of His face grew cloudy
shaded by shadows of concealed storms.
this time
there was no smile
no story
and He didn’t even let her keep it
for fear of her pearly white teeth.
curious and slightly irritated she scoured the garden more often
56 | Lot’s Wife

CREATIVE
she resurfaced s m a t t e r i n g s of fallen freckles
and other such whispers of old .
by september
her collection had doubled
steadily increasing with every bristled toothbrush
discarded jewellery box
and a new pair of tiny socks so small that baby
birds could have nested in each one
thefirstfriday of that same month
he arrived home early from work :
walking up the garden path he st umbled
on the bro ken earth
confused He looked around Him
noticing for the first time how the yard had been transformed
the once trimmed carpet of lawn was now
a pockmarked planet
streaked red and sore by the emptying sun
when He finally opened the front door
He was greeted
as always
by delilah
she stood in front of Him
peering at Him with proud eyes
He could barely see her behind the walled
plethora of
antiquities
she had p
iled at His feet
That night
there were no headheldIloveyous
Instead the golf-torn turf was filled in :
crevices were covered with golden hair, a broken houseshaped kennel,
and the dirt was watered flat with pools of deep blue .
That night
he fell asleep singing the lyrics of Queen – seemingly to himself.
Lot’s Wife | 57

FICTION
Amidst Apples
and Thyme
by Katherine Mitula
Amidst apples and thyme, I look into the past
and I remember.
I remember happier times, times that made
me laugh and dance and smile with joy. I remember
the times of grief, of fear, of pain, which fill my
heart with darkness. Times that truly made me
understand what it is to feel alive. I kneel at the foot
of the grave, and let my mind be consumed.
There was once a boy. A man, he must be, now.
A man with his life ahead of him and a future of all
he could dream of. He was sickly, weak. His father
came to me for help, for I was the foremost healer
in the big city. I could have refused, for even then, I
was not as young as I once was, and my back ached
fiercely, as if it was reminding me of my old age. I
had retired from practicing three years before; I had
no obligation to respond to any pleas for medical
assistance anymore. But the desperation in the
man’s eyes convinced me, and I agreed to help
him. Now the boy is a renowned architect with a
sweetheart he loves more than life itself.
How strange it is that our actions and choice
can have such an impact on the world. If not for
my healing of him, he would never have survived
to adulthood to realise his calling and follow his
dreams. The world would be lacking half the
memorable buildings which now litter the earth,
proud and unyielding, a symbol of international
unity.
I sit on the ground and dream of flying. I have
never flown before, and I don’t think I ever will.
Flight is for those of the future; I belong with the
past, and the horse-carriages and steam-boats
which carried us from one destination to the next. It
was by boat that I was brought to the land in which
I dwell now, the land which I choose to call home.
If I had been carried by the air it would have taken
mere hours; as it was, it took months. Months of
tedium and endless ocean, my mind enduring only
with the knowledge of the end of the journey, the
bright land to which I sailed with its promise of
safety and a new beginning. Beside me stood my
husband, my dear husband who endured so much
in the motherland and chose to be by my side as
I undertook this final, life-altering journey into the
unknown.
I left my homeland behind me knowing that I
would never see my parents or sisters or brothers
again in this lifetime. I have no regrets, for there I
have lived peacefully and happily with my husband
and my children, who I value with my life. From
the occasional letter, I knew that my parents and
siblings yet lived, and that was enough for me. I had
my own life to lead, and though they would always
be in my heart I could not let myself crumble with
fear or worry for them, not when I must be strong for
my children.
Now, my husband is dead, taken from me by
the ravages of consumption. I sit by his grave, and
ponder. Was it his fate, to end this way? Was it what
God meant for him? I do not think I’ll ever know. All I
know is that there is a hole in my heart that was not
there before, and if it weren’t for my children I would
feel well and truly alone.
I sit by my husband’s grave, and dream that
he is there beside me, smiling at me and holding
out his hand. I reach out and take it, and feel the
life-giving warmth of it. Together we stand, and
walk, away from the apples and the scent of thyme
which still lingers in my nostrils, and away from the
tombstone of death. I close my eyes as the brilliant
light tenderly envelops me, and smile.
58 | Lot’s Wife

CREATIVE
JK Dress-up
by Jemma Cakebread
Lot’s Wife | 59